"Twenty-year-olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their oil filters. Which they should do more often." - House
Question #91408 posted on 06/04/2018 9:12 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I"m a 28 unmarried female and I want the follow the rules of no sex before marriage. The problem I have is that sometimes the biological urge can be too much for me.

What I need help with is that I want to keep the law of chastity by controlling these urges and not self stimulate and not have sex until I am married. So how do I deal with these desires while keeping the law of chastity. Does any one else struggle with this because I feel like we don't really talk about it especially with women.

Any suggestions would be helpful.



Dear you,

It is a shame that we don't really talk about this subject. It is definitely important to have a spiritual understanding and appreciation for the law of chastity, but we don't talk a lot about how to deal with our biological desires. Here are somethings that help me deal with my biological desires without self simulation:

  • Getting sufficient sleep
  • Exercising regularly
  • Dealing with my stress through mindfulness meditation (I'm a big fan of the BYU CAPS recording)
  • Having a healthy attitude about my body by not beating myself up for slipping up
  • Reading uplifting talks

My biggest recommendation of all however is to ask for suggestions from your bishop. My bishop is the one that told me to exercise regularly and get enough sleep, and those two pieces of advice have been extremely helpful for me. Bishops help people with this all the time, so they know what's worked for other people and will have inspired advice for you personally. I also recommend that you ask your bishop for a priesthood blessing for extra strength.

I commend you for your efforts to keep the law of chastity. In Jeffery R Holland's talk "Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders among You" Elder Holland reminds us that we are blessed not only for keeping the commandments, but even for trying. I hope that this advice will be of help to you, and that you will be able to find more suggestions that will work for you.

-a writer