"It's not spiders I dislike, just people." -Petra
Question #91809 posted on 11/27/2018 1:06 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My roommates are all BYU students and play a sport for BYU. One of them isn't a member, but I've found out that when all three of them go out partying, all three of them drink. I'm pretty sure none of them keep alcohol in the apartment (in their rooms, I mean - we each have a private room).

So do I just say/do nothing? Would it matter if I said anything to either them or to someone at BYU?

On one hand, it's their lives and they can choose to do whatever they please, but on the other, I'm not comfortable with having roommates who drink, who bring home boyfriends who are drinkers, etc. Especially if they sneak any alcohol into our apartment when they have their big parties here (I don't know if they do, I always leave if they start partying at home, but I'd hate to assume that). I'm also not a snitch. At the same time, I'm kind of annoyed and frustrated because dealing with them up until now has been a chore anyway. I just feel like my judgment's impaired - not by alcohol, but by my annoyance.

Also, they're all underage.

Should I do anything at all?

-Not Everyone is Stone-Cold Sober

A:

Dear you,

I think you should talk to them about the situation, because you deserve to be comfortable in your own home. 

I don't know the particulars of your relationship with these girls outside of this question, so I could be underestimating the issue, but I think you're overestimating the role that alcohol likely plays in their lives, and the degree to which it will affect you.

If the fact that they all drink is something you had to discover, it's safe to assume they aren't coming home blackout drunk every night. Within the confines of your home, it doesn't sound as though you've been affected significantly by their choices. Therefore while I understand the tendency to be uncomfortable, I think it's a bit unreasonable to be uncomfortable with such an abstract concept. If you were constantly having to deal with drunken antics, it might be different, but fearing boyfriends who sometimes consume alcohol comes across a bit overdramatic.

However, because they are underage, you should absolutely have this discussion with them, because if they were to keep alcohol in the apartment there could be negative repercussions for you. Were I in your place, I would let them know you respect their ability to make their own decisions, but emphasize that you don't want any part of it and you want to keep it out of the apartment.

Love,

Luciana