Dear 100 Hour Board,
There are some days where I feel like I will confidently make it to the celestial kingdom. There are other days where I feel like I will be crawling on my hands and knees making it across the finish line but just barely.
I have been having freak out moments of not being confident in myself that I will make it. But I want it so much. Have any of you felt this way?
First off, you are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I feel this way all the time, and whenever I express this feeling to my friends or family, they always say they've felt this way too. It's pretty much part of the human experience to be unsure of ourselves in some way, shape or form. Not always being confident in yourself is totally understandable and valid.
Secondly, I feel very strongly that the attainment of the Celestial Kingdom isn't as far off as people feel like it is. It's not about running a race and crossing the finish line by yourself. It's more like learning to ride a bike with Christ right behind us to help us up when we fall. It's way more about your desires than it is about the net total of good things you do or how sinless you are. Obviously, you need to be working toward becoming better and more like Them, but it's not about measuring up to some arbitrary objective yardstick. God and Jesus know you, inside and out. They know what you can do and how hard you're trying.
Right here I'm going to give you a quote from a General Conference talk by Elder J. Devn Cornish of the Seventy. His talk was called "Am I Good Enough? Will I Make It?" It's a beautiful talk that made me cry like a baby when he gave it, and still makes me cry to this day. It seems like he just looked into my soul and said exactly what I needed to hear.
"Let me be direct and clear. The answers to the questions 'Am I good enough?' and 'Will I make it?' are 'Yes! You are going to be good enough' and 'Yes, you are going to make it as long as you keep repenting and do not rationalize or rebel.' The God of heaven is not a heartless referee looking for any excuse to throw us out of the game. He is our perfectly loving Father, who yearns more than anything else to have all of His children come back home and live with Him as families forever. He truly gave His Only Begotten Son that we might not perish but have everlasting life! Please believe, and please take hope and comfort from, this eternal truth. Our Heavenly Father intends for us to make it! That is His work and His glory."
If you won't listen to some nobody writing on the Board, please listen to Elder Cornish. Keep going and keep repenting, and you'll turn out just fine.