"It's not spiders I dislike, just people." -Petra
Question #91847 posted on 11/29/2018 5:12 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Whenever I go to the bathroom, I’m constantly bothered by the sounds that other people make that interrupt my sanititary meditation. Where are the best men’s restrooms to find some quiet while I get my business done?

-Alacritas

A:

Dear you,

Usually the top floor of any building is a pretty good bet, especially with the SWKT (it is not the KMBL and I refuse to call it that). I've also heard that the top floor of the JFSB and the JKB are pretty quiet, though my friend's friend did see a ghost in the girl's bathroom in the JKB once. So you can have fun watching for Moaning Myrtle while you do your business!

-guppy of doom

A:

Dear pirates of pigpants,

You might enjoy the outdated-but-still useful BYU Bathrooms Blog.

If we're going current, I present a totally non-comprehensive list of my own:

  • SWKT (Yes, the SWKT):The men's bathroom on the 5th floor is a lovely place. See, it's in the nursing departmentwhich does have menbut it's not overrun with them. There's a single bathroom stall and a urinal. Minimal disruption.

  • NICB:The single-person bathroom in the northeast corner of the Nichols Building (NICB, it's an add-on to the Benson Building)well, this one is often frequented because of the dearth of bathroom options in that area, but no matter, because you can lock it and pollute the bathroom in peace.

  • BYU Bookstore: down a narrow staircase in what is currently the childrens literature section is a seldom-used bathroom, except by those that know it. You can also get there by walking right from the mail room in the basement. The areathough not the bathroom, sadlysmell pleasantly of fudge.

  • Maeser Building: Forgotten, ignored, made of marble, these are probably the nicest and quietest of all the campus bathrooms, and likely the least convenient to your location.

  • Life Science Building:There's a bathroom with a shower on the bottom floor of the Life Science building. It's decent, and small.

  • HFAC: What wonders doth the bowels of this building hold! So revel in their glory as you empty yours deep in the basement on the east side of the building in a black hallway close to the theaters. I'd try to be more specific than that, but it's hopeless. When you need them, though, you'll find them.

  • Faculty Office Building: Use these bathrooms while you can, for there'll be a new building in a matter of months. Better wreck that porcelain throne before they do.

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz