Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw
Question #92144 posted on 04/04/2019 2:12 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I know that asking about secret societies at BYU, what they are and how do I find them, is very counterintuitive because if they are really secret then you aren't going to release information about them on a public website. However, I'm still going to give it a shot so my apologies in advance. I read a couple of previous questions asked Board Question #13424 and Board Question #69644 and the main one that was mentioned a couple of times was the Generals and people being "tapped" in order to join them. Maybe I watched too much Gilmore Girls and have fantasized too much about joining a secret society while in college like the "Life and Death Brigade". But either way, in my pursuit to join a secret society before I leave BYU, whether it involves Gorilla heads or not, I was wondering if y'all had any information about what the secret societies at BYU are looking for, do they exclude anyone from their groups, how can I increase my chances of getting tapped, and any other information you might have about secret societies at BYU? You might not be able to release a lot of information and I am aware I am probably naive for wanting so badly to join a secret society but I'll keep trying to get in!

-Logan Huntzberger

A:

Dear If-that-is-your-real-name,

The 100 Hour Board is the greatest BYU secret society of all time. All the other secret societies can come and fight me. I don't know what other secret societies are looking for, but we accept only the enlightened individuals who are powerful and courageous enough to find us. Only the worthy are allowed here at the Board. We laugh in their General direction.

Peace,

Tipperary

A:

Dear LH, 

If we told you, they might come for us. Snitches get stitches. 

Cheers,

Guesthouse

A:

Logan,

I could only find two, and I'm guessing they're the slightly less secret of the secret societies.

The Secret Nap Society which is not very secret at all. 

The 5th Chapter who would rather you start your own. 

A secret society that exists only to be secret will not exist for very long. Any secret societies that do exist will have a purpose, and a reason to be secret. They will select people that are relevant to the purpose of the group. I recommend you look for groups that have a purpose you align with. Meet with them regularly.

If you do this one of two things will happen:

(1) if there's a secret society with a purpose to which you are relevant, they might tap you. Be sure to ask why it's a secret.

(2) if you meet regularly with some folks for a purpose, and only relevant people know about it-- Congratulations. You created a secret society. Have fun coming up with a name, traditions, and finding ways to make it feel as mysterious and generational as possible.

Please consider tapping me if your secret society has anything to do with the following:

  • lost pet and bicycle vigilantism
  • reducing vehicle idling in Provo
  • open-topic living room PowerPoint presentations
  • music
  • gardening
You can reach me through questions, or emails, or questions in emails. Thank you.

Babalugats