You can't have everything. Where would you put it? -Steven Wright
Question #92317 posted on 06/07/2019 7:42 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What should I do now that I'll be grateful for later?

-the future is unwritten


Dear Natasha Bedingfield,

Sleep eight hours tonight.

Seriously, sleep deprivation does absolutely awful things to your mind and body, and getting enough sleep for weeks at a time feels amazing when you're used to always being exhausted. I can't recommend it highly enough.



Dear Future,

Plan something with friends! It could be a one time thing, or a regular event like a board game night. Freshman year I didn't really have any friends, but Sophomore year I made some good friends and they have honestly been the most valuable thing to my academics, career, emotional health, and overall enjoyment of life.

Friends make such a big difference! Text or call someone right now! If you don't have anyone you're really close with than go socialize and meet new people.




Dear future,

If you have even $50 or $100 per month to put away, start up a retirement account and start paying into it. The earlier you start, the better off you'll be, and the less beholden to your work you'll be when you're 60 and nearing retirement. I'm a teacher and I don't personally believe that there will be enough money in my pension fund to actually pay me what they've promised when it's time for me to retire. So I've got my own private IRA that I pay into and it feels really good to have it there backing me up. This is a super boring thing to say, but if it doesn't feel important now, it will later on and you'll be glad you did it.


The Man with a Mustache


Dear my fifth grade jam,

I was going to tell you "don't place limits on who you are or think you could ever become", which I do think is great advice, but you asked for something that you should do, not something you shouldn't, so I'll add this:

Do something every day that uplifts you, and do something every day that lifts others up.


-the Goose Girl


Dear Aziraphale,

Don’t walk six miles with a broken toe. Also, if you have anything you're procrastinating, do it now.




Pay the extra few bucks for Hulu Plus. If you calculate the amount of time you'd be frustrated while viewing commercials, it definitely balances out.

-Tally M.


Dear friend,

Learn to cook. Sure, you can live off of ramen and peanut butter sandwiches (and I've been there) but cooking good food can be cheap and really improve your overall health.

-Van Goff


Dear person,

Do your laundry.



Dear Shulk,

Buy the best subwoofer you can afford. Don't cheap out and get a lesser one, you'll regret it.



Dear Staring at the Blank Page Before You, Open Up the Dirty Window, LET THE SUN ILLUMINATE THE WORDS THAT YOU CANNOT FIND,

Go outside and take a walk. Wake up early one day and take a stroll around your neighborhood. Take time to notice things along your commute. Be present in the moment for a bit without dwelling on what has been and what may be. 

-Frère Rubik


Dear Squash Lordling:

  • The geraniums, they call to you. Heed their call. Journal it. Throw the journal into the Great Salt Lake.
  • Match your 401(K). Paisleys are in, yo.
  • Contour.
  • Become a guerrilla artist in San Francisco, whose only art is living in a cardboard box under I-80. Take that, Diogenes. Box is warm. Box calls to you.
  • Create a new identity on LinkedIn. Your LinkedIn name is the name of your favorite Board Writer (me) + the last name of the person your dad was too chicken to take to prom in '89. I will endorse you for Public Speaking and Croissantery.
  • Reuse the jar of teeth your roommate has been collecting to start a podcast called Canines 'n' Molars with Bubs and Alyssa.
  • Hydrate.
  • The next time you run into Rick Perry, tell him that he should lay off the sauce. The nuclear arsenal is at stake!
  • Sleep 8 hours. Then sleep another 8. Another 8. Don't you feel refreshed? Cucumber slices. Ahhhhh.
  • When your first cousin once removed wants to connect with you on 23andMe, don't. You'll thank me later.
  • Buy the jumpsuit.
  • Don't buy the Apple stock. What kind of orchard has public stock, anyway? Weird. Eat the seeds.
  • Go lie on top of the grate outside the HFAC and let the sweet embrace of the bottomless void hold you like you were never held in that orphanage in Iași.
  • Take the LSAT. Don't go to law school.
  • Stretch.
  • Write your memoirs entirely by dictaphone. When the least-cute Jonas brother sues you, let him. After all, you're not a lawyer.
  • Uproot the geraniums. Those jerks are full of lies.

---Portia, regret-free


Dear the ~

Put aside money now. Even in small quantities. You can do it. I promise.

~ Dragon Lady