If you want to arrange it, this world you can change it. -Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Question #92319 posted on 06/10/2019 9:24 a.m.

Dear friends,

What's one thing you've changed your mind about in the past year?



Dear El,

For most of my time as a grad student, I assumed that working in government would be a stepping stone towards my ultimate goal of working for a nonprofit affordable housing developer, but now I realize that I might actually want to keep working in government for my entire career. Granted, I'm not sure if I've ever gone two years without a change in career goals since I left home eleven(!) years ago, so I could have a totally different answer at the next reunion. Who knows! Adult life is weird.

On a much less consequential level, in the latest edition of Latent Dad Traits popping up in adulthood, a couple months ago I finally completed the last leg of the journey from "sauerkraut is something my dad eats to gross me out" to "sauerkraut is an essential component of my diet."



Dear Amy,


Yeah, there are lots of benefits, but it also can have some major detriments to a mom's mental health, and ultimately it's better for the mom to be happy. In fact, there's actually evidence that breastfeeding can actually cause extreme sadness during letdown. I switched to exclusively pumping after getting mastitis, but the time spent pumping was also a drain on my mental health. I was so happy when I switched to a medication that I couldn't take while breastfeeding. Formula was so much easier for me. (Side note, formula is so regulated that buying the cheapest brand is perfectly fine. We used Kirkland.)

I don't think I'll breastfeed with any potential future children. 

-Tally M.


Dear Elmo,

Buying food from vending machines. This time last year I had maybe spent like $3 on the campus vending machines. This last semester I probably averaged more than $3 per day. The engineering program broke me and I caved to the convenience despite knowing full well it’s a terrible financial decision.




Dear Granny,

I used to have a desire to have 4 kids. No more after this, please. We currently have 2 toddlers running around the house (ages 2.5 and 1.5), and after baby #3 I am DONE (mostly because pregnancy is a Killer).



Dear El-ahrairah,

I used to be a social worker type making beans and I mean beans. I made more the one year I taught seventh grade math by a long shot than I ever made there. I was good at it and I felt like I was having a really positive impact, which is important. A huge part of that, though, relied on a belief that one's income doesn't really have an impact on their life if they are getting meaning from their work and coping and whatever.

MONEY MAKES EVERYTHING EASIER. I cannot stress this enough. I'm still not even making the median income for my area but everything about my life is so much easier. Seriously. Make money.

- The Black Sheep


Dear friend,

Video games are fun and not necessarily a waste of time (as long as it's in moderation).

-Van Goff


Dear El,

I've changed how I view myself, several times. I used to define myself by my hobbies and interests, and then it changed to my career and goals, and now I more define myself by the relationships I work on and my personal growth. I'm excited to see which direction I'll go next!


-the Goose Girl


Dear El, 

For the longest time I've been dead set against having kids for a variety of reasons but I'm slowly coming around to the idea of maybe having a one or two. 



Dear El,

The biggest thing I've changed my mind about this year is entrepreneurship. I used to think that I didn't want the responsibility inherent in running my own business and that I would be happier working for someone so I didn't have to make those kinds of risky decisions. But last December I realized that the most fulfilling thing I could do with my life would be to have my own bakery and maybe expand it to have a cafe and/or pizzeria. I'm fairly financially stable at the moment, but not enough that I can just quit my job and put everything toward this dream right now, so I'm trying to figure out the best path to it, which might involve waiting for my sister to graduate so we can do it together.

-The Entomophagist


Dear Kvothe,

I don't know when it happened exactly, but it would seem that I have made a complete 180 in my views relating to abortion legislation #dontlegislatethewomb.

The Soulful Ginger 


Dear EA,

I used to put all my faith in doctors. I've always been somewhat afraid of things like medicine interactions, but I trusted that my doctors knew what they were doing. After a Very Bad Experience With a "Safe" Medicine, I'm just much more aware of how they can be wrong and don't actually know everything (how could they? It's literally impossible). This has resulted in me asking about 9,000 times more questions when I do need a doctor's help as well as saying "no" when I'm not sure about a recommendation.



Dear El ~

Applesauce on pancakes is at least equally as delicious as syrup.

I am not actually lazy, as I once thought. I am an Obliger and naturally struggle meeting my own inner expectations. 

~ Dragon Lady


Dear El,

Bob's Burgers is a really good show. I don't know why I thought I wouldn't like it, but Sr. Surf convinced me to watch it and it's incredible. 

Take care, 

Auto Surf



I'm more okay with the idea of dating people who know nothing about Mormonism (though they'd probably learn some because it's been so much an influence on me), and more okay with the idea of moving away from Mormonism, myself, though probably very gradually on the adding-forbidden-behaviors-front, because man do I have some hangups.

-Uffish Thought


Dear El,

Elizabeth Warren's viability as a presidential candidate. She seemed...odd to me at first, but the more I hear from her, the more I like her. Warren cares about women, she wants to save the planet, and she's a policy wonk, so I am on board. Let's make 2020 the hindsight election.

-Genuine Article


Dear Enoch,

Overall, I've become a lot more liberal in my views. Healthcare, food, and housing are human rights and should be provided by the government at a basic level. Abortion access is important and I disagree with legislation prohibiting it. I believe LGBTQ+ people deserve equal rights and that their love is just as valid as any heterosexual relationship.