Dear 100 Hour Board,
Could you write us a poem about your favorite fruit or vegetable?
Dear all I can afford is a bored,
Loquacious Larry the loquat
Dream-ed of selling gold coat racks
But hope as he might
He realized one night
That absolutely no one would buy that.
P.S. Loquats, known as níspero in some Latin American countries, are sweet, tangy, and refreshing.
I'm really not one to eat veggies,
Though, it's hard to say that I've tried.
I usually like some meat,
Or perhaps food that is fried.
But occasionally I'll do something,
Like eat a fruit or two.
It's nothing very exciting,
Just some juicy grapefruit.
-Sunday Night Banter
Your idea is really quite good,
And I'd write one, if only I could.
I love my sweet citrus
- So very delicious! -
But absolutely nothing rhymes with orange, so why bother?
One weird assignment I had in my high school Spanish class was to do exactly that (though in Spanish, obviously). My ode to la alcachofa (the artichoke) was terrible, in my opinion, but my teacher liked it and sent it to some magazine for high school Spanish students, who also liked it. It got published and they sent me a check for $35.
Unfortunately I no longer have access to what was apparently my greatest literary accomplishment in life, but for your reading pleasure I do remember it contained the line "una flor con espinas."
I'm not one for rhyme
I simply don't have the time
to create something funny
much less something punny
But here is my best try:
When the sun shineth bright
summer, the great plight
becomes so much sweeter
because I'm a peach eater
On the fuzzy fruit I rely.
The heat is truly the worst
thus, for peaches I thirst
their tart juice my oasis,
puts me in homeostasis
Dozens and dozens, I'll buy
Dear Bored on the Board,
I would, but Gwen Stefani beat me to it (with some swear words, sorry).