Most of the shadows in this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Question #92496 posted on 07/30/2019 8:18 a.m.

Dear Newest Writers,

Please introduce yourselves!



Dear Sheebs,

I'm Goldie Rose, -waves- and I'm part of OPA (Otter Pops Anonymous) since I eat way too many of them to be considered sane. 

I was introduced to the Board at the young age of 12. My sister was a board writer and she wanted us to guess who she was. I made an account in 2006 and asked the DUMBEST questions. I haven't bothered to look at them due to sheer embarrassment. One day when I was bored in one of my history classes, I remembered the Board! I logged back on and scrolled mindlessly through all the questions. I got hooked and it became one of my favorite procrastination websites. Now I'm here! 

I applied to be a writer when I was a BYU student in February, but I graduated in Family History-Genealogy in April. I'm still getting used to that... I once believed that doing family history was for OLD, retired people. If past me had heard four years ago that I was going to get a degree in genealogy, I would have laughed in their face. I love, love, LOVE, answering anyone's questions on how to start doing their family history, so feel free to ask all the questions you want! I specialize in Southern U.S. Genealogy, and have a decent understanding of other places. But I can't guarantee that I'll know every answer.

When I was serving in the South, I found out at the end of my mission (December 2014) that I was lactose intolerant. I had started having stomach issues in the MTC, but I blamed it on stress and sleep deprivation. I was sick every day but I didn't know why. I even got tested for celiac disease in my second area. The doctors back at home told me that my test results revealed that I can't digest lactose at all. Four years later, I now wonder if I have a milk protein problem since lactase enzymes pills don't really work on me. I've been trying to eat dairy-free since last September, but it's been so difficult because I love my chocolate and queso. :(

I've been married to Carl for a little over three years now. We found out on our three year anniversary that we're expecting our first in January! I'm somewhat terrified, but I have a lot of amazing family and friends to ask for advice. We find out next month if we're having a boy or girl. We'll be moving closer to Carl's family in the Salt Lake area soon.

Those are some of the most unique facts about me, and I'm excited to share anything and everything else as time progresses!

-Goldie Rose

P.S. I like cats... and watching animal videos. (But who doesn't?)


Dear Sheebs,

I'm Inklings. A few weeks ago, I found myself late one night at the library, just wandering the internet and the Board. After what must have been a few dozen clicks of "I'm Bored!", I stumbled across the question:

Dear Reader,

Where do you always wander, but are always found?

-The 100 Hour Board

I thought it quite odd that there would be a question from the Board, and there were no answers given by the writers. You'll have to excuse me for forgetting the question number, since after I clicked the hyperlink (which I also am unable to include), I was sent through a series of the most difficult feats I believe I have ever accomplished online. I woke up back in my own bed, having little recollection of what I had done and not remembering how or at what time I had gotten back home.

Actually, I had almost forgotten about the whole ordeal until last Wednesday, when I opened my email and there it was, almost glowing in my inbox: "Welcome A-Board". I couldn't believe it. I had only started reading in January and couldn't recall even applying for the Board! Then I remembered that night in the library, and figured that I must have applied for the Board and then been too exhausted to do anything but wander back to my bed.

I was ecstatic. I almost couldn't sleep the night I got the email, and I'm still trying to understand exactly what it means to be a writer for the Board. There are still times when I go to sleep and wake up feeling like I know more than I did when I fell asleep, almost as if the omniscience of the Board has been preparing me for the questions that lie ahead. Of course, I am still a probational writer (a little probie), which means that I still have to perform the eleven feats before I am welcomed into full writership, but I think that I will be able to do it.

I guess I better introduce myself to the readers. I recently got back from a mission to the Philippines and am majoring in math. I also enjoy reading and writing (apparently). Among my favorite authors are Roald Dahl, Shel Silverstein, Dr. Seuss, C.S. Lewis, and Bill Watterson. One of my favorite hobbies is playing board games, mostly with my family, but I'm always up for a game. I am the fourth of five children and am part of a great family. Eventually, I want to teach math in high school and then go on to teach at a university. I enjoy teaching and I think that it will help me reach out in the best way to others. I hope that I will be able to help a lot of people out through the Board, and am extremely excited to have the privilege of writing.

If you would like to reach out to me, my Board email should be up and running in the next few weeks and I would love to respond to anything written to me. When it's up, you should be able to reach me at inklings(at) (I'll add it in my writer bio). I will try my best to be honest about my experiences on the Board and work hard to get all the readers the answers they deserve.

It's a magical world, readers... Let's go exploring!



Dear Sheebs,

My name's 9S, and I'm addicted to the 100 Hour Board.

Writership is something that's always been in planning for me, I think--ever since the day I was introduced to the Board by a friend in my senior year of high school, trying to put off my hopeless calculus coursework and the looming specter of the Reverse Chain Rule, I knew that it was something I wanted to be a part of. Dispensing all-knowing wisdom from the safety of a keyboard and monitor? Camaraderie with other pseudonymous writers? Mandatory enrollment in courses on tunnel worm safety and awareness*? One could scarcely ask for a better deal. So I came to BYU, dutifully read the Board on a near-daily basis throughout my freshman year, attended the once-in-a-blue-moon events where the writers themselves made appearances in the flesh, and spent more time than I care to admit daydreaming about how I would one day answer questions as a writer myself. Two years and a very difficult but incredible mission experience later, I find myself in an apartment, looking over my still-incomplete schedule for the coming semester and finally getting to live my dream of writing really really really verbose walls of text on subjects that few are interested in and fewer still actually read. Life is good.

But I digress. For those of you who may be looking for a more personal introduction, I returned (relatively) recently from a mission in the southern US, I'm still working on figuring out exactly what I want to study (though I know I want to work in a computer-related field--they make more sense to me than people do), and I am apparently the wittiest man guppy of doom knows--which is conclusive evidence that even guppy of doom, bless her heart, falls victim to autocorrect on occasion. Clearly the intended adjective was "whitest," as that is on the whole a much more sensible proposition.

When I'm not trying to entertain by constantly telling stories, getting horribly beaten in fighting games, or being that guy who's always telling exceedingly mediocre jokes, I usually have my head in the clouds in some fictional world somewhere. I'm a storyteller at heart, so I spend the majority of my time writing, playing video games with a coherent narrative, or reading. I'm most at home at my desk, surrounded by computer monitors and other tech-related odds and ends, with a D&D character sheet on one monitor and a blank Google doc on another.

All in all, I'm really excited to be writing for the Board after reading for so long, and I hope you'll enjoy reading my answers as much as I enjoy writing them!



*not to be confused with the Eleven Feats of Full Writership mentioned by Inklings. The safety courses come first.


Dear Sheebs,

First off, I must apologize. I’m barely a writer, but already I believe I’m responsible for a question going over hours. Let’s just say that being at a giant family reunion in the middle of nowhere with very limited internet connection was not the best way to spend my first week as a probie. Although the reunion was very fun. I think you would be hard pressed to find a more impressive family reunion.

Anyway, I have returned to civilization, so an introduction is in order. I’m Cerulean, and it’s very nice to meet you. I happen to be the friend in 9S’s calculus class who lured him into this trap. I really don’t know what our school was thinking, giving us all Chromebooks to use during an almost exclusively self-directed class, especially to someone like me who was suffering from a severe case of senioritis. Needless to say, we learned very little calculus. I myself discovered the Board years ago because my cousin was a writer. However, I really feel I must give credit to my older sister because it was over her shoulder that, as a wee Beehive, I first read the Board. And now, as a writer, albeit a probie, I’m fulfilling what may be the closest thing I’ve ever had to a lifelong dream. 

On to a few things about me! I’m a geography major, which, to quote Goldie Rose, I’m still getting used to. I definitely never expected to be a geography major, but here I am. I like podcasts, thrift stores, and crossword puzzles. I dislike single-use plastics, billboards, and winter. My favorite food is chocolate, but I also really love cereal, any kind. Recently, I inherited my grandmother’s postcard collection, which I’m very excited about. I’m the second of five kids, but I like to say that my older sister and I are co-oldest children because we both know I’m actually in charge. I’m trying to think of other things to say about myself, but the only thing coming to me is some wise words from my grandpa—“If you can’t be brilliant, be brief”—so I think that’s my cue to sign off.

But just before I do, here’s a disclaimer—I haven’t seen ANY movies. Okay, I admit that’s an exaggeration, but, seriously, it’s sometimes just easier if I get people to assume that. Like if you quote a movie that’s not Elf, Princess Diaries, or Tangled, I probably won’t know what you’re talking about.

Once again, a pleasure to meet you.