Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation. -Author Unknown
Question #92703 posted on 10/20/2019 2:24 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What type of old person do you want to be 50+ years from now?

-Ye Olde Gramps


Dear you,

This lady.



Dear Gramps,

The grandma who:

  • always has candy in her purse and in her kitchen to give away to grandkids (but mostly for me). My grandma does this and I loved sneaking candy in the middle of the night when we slept over.
  • has a fun color streak in her hair at all times (turquoise, pink, purple)
  • actually goes (over) the speed limit while driving
  • makes family history fun for her descendants
  • wears flashy leopard print clothes all the time (since that's what I do right now)
  • has the ability to do a hand/headstand (something my grandpa did in his 70s and showcased it at family talent shows)

-Goldie Rose


Dear Geezer, 

I want to be like Ruth Bader Ginsburg - overcome adversity, dismantle the patriarchy, show people the strength of intelligent women, and be an example of feminism for the masses. Man, she's just so awesome. 

Also, I'd like to be the kind of old lady that bakes a lot of goodies for her grandkiddies, and Pebble and I will be the cute old couple that everyone hopes to be like someday. 




Dear Gramps,

Honestly I just don’t want to be reliant on a full time job in order to get by. And it would be nice if I’m relatively fit and healthy.




Dear Gramps,

I just don't want to be sad and decrepit. 



Dear YOG,

minnow and I have discussed our retirement plans: we want to have a beautiful home in a great neighborhood, where the neighborhood kids love coming over to eat our homemade snacks, borrow a book from our giant home library, and tell us about their days. Basically be the adopted grandma and grandpa of the neighborhood.

-guppy of doom


Dear O.G.,

I want to be the type of old person that is struttin’ on everyone else with their style. Like this woman. I may not be as physically fit as I once was when I’m ballin at 80, but what I want most is to have a strong mind and still be learning new things. I don’t want to be the type of person who only ever talks about things 50 years ago and people only listen to because they respect their elders.

I also want to have a bunch of really random hobbies, things that I’ve always wanted to learn but haven’t had time to because capitalism™. Some things on this list of things I want to learn are: more about art history, bookbinding, cursive, how to play the banjo, and how to keep a plant alive for more than a week.




Dear peasant,

Expired. I'm planning on dying at the age of eighty--human lifespans have lengthened, but the quality of living while very elderly has not--so this all works out rather nicely.

Bye Felicia,

--Ardilla Feroz


Dear grandpa,

I like Fozzie's answer about having a bunch of hobbies. I have wanted to get into paper quilling for years now, and it just has never happened. Here's hoping I take up quilling before I'm in my seventies, but if not, I think it sounds like a great old lady hobby.