"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells." - Dr. Seuss
Question #92842 posted on 01/27/2020 9:46 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I’ll try to keep this as concise as possible

there’s this guy i kinda like, actually, i really really really like him. like a lot. the problem is we haven’t seen or spoken to in almost a year and a half (summer after sophomore year of hs) we’re seniors now and we follow each other on insta but that’s about it. i don’t have his number although i really wish i did. we also don’t go to the same school anymore, because we both moved. the problem/question is why do i still like him, and should i try to reach out to him? i literally think about him every day. We weren’t even that close of friends and i’ve never crushed on someone so hard and especially for so long! i can’t help but hope that somehow we both end up at the same college. is this stupid? i get told a lot that me i’m very mature and responsible so i don’t feel like this is some passing fancy. should i try to get over him or just wait? what’s the longest time you’ve ever had a crush on someone?

-My Name Here

A:

Dear you,

You should reach out to him fo' shizzle.* You don't have much to lose at this point.

-Sunday Night Banter

* for the non-slang readers, "fo' shizzle" means for sure.

A:

Dear Yer Name Here,

I had a crush on a guy from freshman to junior year in high school. We were in the same small group of friends my freshman year who ate lunch together. We didn't really interact much other than him tickling me since I was super ticklish and had an entertaining reaction. But honestly, I didn't really have a crush ON him, I had a crush on who I imagined him to be. He was NOTHING like I pictured him, even though I observed his behavior every day at school. He was kinda rude to me since he knew I had a crush on him. He wasn't a member, and told me that I was "too Christian" for him. Naive little me didn't know what that meant freshman year, and my crush continued for the next two years. I even tried to make myself have a crush on someone else to get over him since he rejected me, but it didn't really work as I knew it was just me trying to get over him. (It didn't help one bit that he was a flirt and always got my hopes up.) The crush finally went away when I realized he wasn't the type of person I wanted to be in a relationship with (or eventually marry). I had to take off my rose colored glasses and see him for who he really was.

It doesn't hurt to reach out to him, but try to be realistic with the possible outcomes since you don't interact with him a whole lot. You mentioned you both moved, how far away are you from him? Is it close enough to have a successful long distance relationship? I am in no way trying to dissuade you to talk to him, as I've gone through my fair share of long distance relationships. I feel like it's important to have a good solid foundation and friendship in order for them to succeed. Maybe start slow and see where things progress from there. You never know what could happen!

Good luck!

-Goldie Rose

A:

Dear Aziraphale,

In all likelihood, you liking him doesn't carry any great significance. As Goldie Rose very astutely pointed out, it's very easy to like the idea of a person as opposed to the actual person.

I'd also like to the speak to the latter part of your question: specifically, "i get told a lot that me i’m very mature and responsible so i don’t feel like this is some passing fancy." That sounds a lot like me from 5 years ago (i.e. when I was a high school senior). My whole life I have been told that I seem older/more mature than my age. Because of that, when I got a crush on a guy, I thought that my maturity meant that my feeling had more substance and gravity. I was wrong. Maturity and responsibility don't lend a deeper significance/portending of reality to perceived romance.

All of that said, whether you try to move on or wait for this guy is up to you. Personally, I've later regretted and been embarrassed by all my crushes similar to the one you're describing. But you're a different person, so that won't necessarily hold true for you.

~Anathema

A:

Dear friend, 

I'm one that strongly believes in being honest, so I think you should talk to him about it. There are a wide range of possibilities after that and none of them will kill you... but you don't get ANY of those possibilities if you don't tell him how you feel.

Also, like the lovely other writers have pointed out, you shouldn't rely too heavily on your idea of this person, because in all reality, he won't actually be what you've dreamed up. That doesn't mean you won't like the real version of him, I'm just adding my advice to try to be realistic.

Cheers, 

Guesthouse