"We wish we were Obi-Wan Kenobi, and for the most part we are, but there's a little Darth Vader in all of us." -Chris Stevens
Question #92916 posted on 02/13/2020 10:12 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you have any good faculty dating stories?

-Nosy

A:

Dear Nosy,

I'm not sure exactly what this question entails, and I don't have any real "stories", more like a short set of cute factoids. 

In high school, my AP English teacher was married to the German teacher. They would sometimes act like they didn't know each other at school. He would walk by her classroom while she was teaching and say hi and I love you and she would say things like "Who is that guy? He's so weird. He always does this!" I thought it was pretty funny. 

My current bishop is a BYU faculty member and he calls his wife "the queen of my heart." Or he'll say things when he's waiting for her like "I'm saving this seat for the most beautiful creature to walk the Earth." Basically, he is constantly adoring her and that's what I want in my life. (And you know what, I have it!) 

My grandpa was a Chemistry professor at BYU once upon a time. My favorite story about him is that he tried to call my grandma a pet name (perhaps like the ones mentioned above?) and she got SO mad at him. She railed on him and told him that if he called her that again she'd never talk to him again. And now they're married and he only ever calls her by her first name. They have a strange relationship. 

Cheers, 

Guesthouse

A:

Dear Nose,

I don't have stories about faculty dating, but for some reason, a lot of professors I've had have felt the need to offer me dating advice/judge my dating decisions. Maybe I gave off the vibes of being a hot mess that needed dating help? Anyways, here are some of my favorites:

  • One time a professor scolded me for pulling an all-nighter to work on a project because it was "unfair to my wife." Then I told her that I wasn't married or even dating someone. She then said "Well why aren't you dating someone?". I don't know professor, I don't know.
  • One time on a study abroad some of us were telling bad date stories. After a story I told, our professor told the story of how he met and started dating his wife and this guy was absolutely smooth. Like he's a total legend. And then after telling his story, he roasted those of us who were telling bad date stories. I don't remember the roast, but it was savage.
  • On another study abroad I made a joke about using statistical analysis to improve my dating life. I was just joking, but our professor took it waaay seriously and talked for 15 minutes about how using statistical analysis could improve my dating life.
  • Later on a ride back from a research conference with that same professor, I had mentioned that  I was going to go on a trip with my then-girlfriend (now fiancée.) My professor gave me a bunch of advice, but it was all stuff like "don't wear sweats, comb your hair,  remember deodorant." Like, I'm glad he was concerned, but did he really think I wouldn't do that stuff? How much of a mess did my professor think I was?

Ah, good times. Now I am currently enjoying being engaged because for a brief moment in time I don't get dating advice or marriage and parenting advice.

Hope you enjoyed these!

Peace,

Tipperary

A:

Tipperary, 

How in the heck are you escaping marriage advice while being engaged????

I, too, am engaged and pretty much everyone on the planet has advice for me about my marriage. They really love telling me I'm stupid for getting married so young instead of enjoying the freedom of my youth. Also common is "never go to bed angry" and questions about "Who's going to do the work around the house?" as if it's only one person's job. 

Personally, I find it quite unfair that I am getting more dating advice now than I did when I wasn't engaged. Please advise. 

Guesthouse

A:

Dear Guesthouse,

It's because everyone comments on how beautiful our multi-racial babies are gonna be, or asks us when we're gonna have kids.

I get it, because my fiancee and I talk about how cute our future kids are gonna be at least once a day. I tolerate my family asking cause we joke about it a bunch (my sister kept asking us about nieces so we got her a baby doll for Christmas). However strangers  asking us about our beautiful interracial kids annoys me so bad. 

That's none of their business and also a little racist/ignorant. It's so hard to not just destroy people.

So, not getting marriage advice is a plus but it does have a cost.

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Peace,

Tipperary