"There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction."-Salvador Dali
Question #93009 posted on 05/19/2020 2:06 p.m.

Dear friends,

Using only ingredients you have on hand, give me your best quarantinis (presumably non-alcoholic, but I won't judge). Pictures welcome.



Dear El-ahrairah,

There's not much in my apartment, because my roommates have moved out. 


This is pretty much all I've got. However - as you can see in the picture, one of my roommates left a full bottle of Martinelli's so I figured I'd make a Very Mormon Drink:

  • A reasonable amount of Martinelli's Sparkling Cider (I probably had about half a cup)
  • The juice of three tiny orange segments (which probably came out to about a teaspoon or two - we're not being precise here)
  • About a teaspoon of lime jello (an excellent suggestion by Goldie Rose)

Stir it up! Wet the rim of the glass and make a sad attempt to cover it with more lime jello powder. Laugh at the monstrosity you made, then drink up - you're done!


(I would have liked to use a shorter glass, but alas - I am a poor quarantined college student with exactly one type of glass.)

The Very Mormon Drink was... okay. A little sweet, but not too bad, overall. It would probably be better with alcohol. Gotta love a little bit of irony.




Dear Elmo,


Voila. Hot chocolate made from almond milk. And if you think that doesn’t count, you can an add the vanilla extract that has alcohol.

Mazel Tov,


(Not really but let me enjoy the joke okay?)


Dear El-ahrairah,

When I was a little kid and my family went out to eat, I would always mix all of the drink options together. Orange soda, root beer, Sprite, pink lemonade, and I forget what else.

As an tribute to my past self, I decided to make a quarantini with all of the drink options that we have in our apartment (minus my almond milk because that would be just gross.)

Equal parts ginger ale, white cherry Powerade, blue raspberry cherry Powerade, and blueberry pomegranate Body Armor Lyte.


It was actually pretty good! I gave some to Carl and he looked at me suspiciously until I told him that it didn't taste bad. He looked at it, took a swig, nodded, and said that it tasted fancy. 

We approve.

-Goldie Rose


Dear White Rabbit,

Here is the quarantini that I make pretty often during quarantine, partially for when I sing, and partially because I seem to have been getting randomly mildly sick (not with Corona, maybe just sick of being inside?). It's also good if you have a slight cough and don't want people freakin' out.

Heat a mug of water for 30 seconds in the microwave.

Add a little honey (maybe around 1 1/2 tbsp, depending on your taste)


Add some lemon juice (maybe 2 tbsp?), or anything citrus

Mix, and enjoy.

It's great because the honey soothes your throat and the lemon kind of gets at the parts that hurt. Anyway, it makes it better. And it is pretty delicious in mind.

Yes, you can also make it with alcohol.



Dear El,

We have a LOT of canned fruit in my house. One of my favorite simple smoothies to make.... okay well basically it's like a milkshake? It's hard to describe. Anyway, it could easily be an alcoholic drink. Here's an approximate recipe:

1-quart jar of canned pears (or 2 cans from the store.) Should be in full syrup or at least half-sugar syrup. None of the just-water or super light stuff. You want it sweet. 

1/2 cup milk or milk substitute, (part of it should be whipping cream if you're committed.)

1 tsp Vanilla or vanilla bean. 

(For milk and vanilla you can replace with ice cream instead.) 

2 Tbsp sugar (or not. Your call) 

Ice to texture. Should be able to sip through a straw, but not like, watery. Or however you like, I don't care. 

Frozen strawberries and/or peaches are really good in it too, if you feel like throwing them in there. It's whatever. 

It's super easy and super light. It's great when I want something sweet but not heavy like cake or brownies. I like to make it when I want something cold. Obviously you could add like most clear liquors to this and it would be just fine. It is definitely delicious!




Dear you,

All I have is toilet paper and water, which surprisingly doesn't taste too bad if you let the toilet paper get soggy enough.

-Every Hoarding Utahn