"I would do it, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much." - Spike
Question #93222 posted on 07/10/2020 12:08 p.m.
Q:

Hay Frère Rubik,

I just bought a horse and have about ten thousand dollars to buy some new furniture for her and decorate her. I want my horse to look really nice and organized but I have no idea what her style is. I'd guess she's not very bohemian or modern, just like... normal and nice looking? It's difficult, because I've never seen her buy her own clothes, or wear any, even when fishmongers and chimpanzees are present (but neither do I, so who am I to judge! Wheeee!) But that's dehors the subject. How can I find decor styles to imitate? How would you do-up your giddy-up if you had money to spend?

-New horse who dis

A:

Dear You Up (for some Dressage)?

I'll admit: when my brain went on a "wild trip" in that other answer I wrote, it was more about the possibility of having enough money to afford, not only a horse, but also $10,000 worth of furniture and other accessories just for said horse.

("Wow," says Frère Rubik as he takes a sip of his drink and leans back in his chair "some people really do be that rich.")

So, I don't really have that many ideas for horse furniture and decoration, but I'll give you what I've got:

-A Town Called Panic gives us a few different ideas, namely: an easy chair, a piano, a car and a barbecue (if you haven't seen the movie/don't speak French: Cowboy and Indian are ordering the bricks to make a barbecue for Horse's birthday), a shower, and a bed (I know I've seen Horse's bed before but for the life of me I cannot find evidence of it).

-I personally have not watched BoJack Horseman, but the intro of that show would suggest that a horse would enjoy such staples of Malibu living such as a sofa, a flatscreen tv, and an inflatable pool lounge upon which it can contemplate its own existential dread ("Do I contribute anything to society? Am I just a toy to these people, meant to be lavished with expensive gifts and accoutrements but never taken seriously? Will I ever find my true calling in life or will I convince myself that mediocrity is enough? HOW DID I GET ON THIS POOL LOUNGE WITHOUT IT SINKING OR DEFLATING?").

-...Actually, that's all I've got, but if you want more horse furniture, a quick google search has you covered.

-Frère Rubik (who thanks you, because if it hadn't been for this question he wouldn't have known that they released a new set of A Town Called Panic shorts. Granted, he's become fond of the original version's frantic screaming in French, but even an English dub is still more of A Town Called Panic and that's great news)