Dear 100 Hour Board,
It's been so long! How are you all?
Right now I'm doing quite well. I'm enjoying married life SO MUCH but also would love to be able to go out and hang with just my girlfriends for a while. I'm getting reeeeeal tired of social distancing and the stupidity of the upcoming election and the current administration's responses to BLM, the virus, and pretty much everything else. It's all making me cranky. Alas, we will press on! I've been getting through it by going on hikes and making lots of new recipes lately which have turned out well. The banana bread scones particularly were delicious.
I do have to admit that Pebble and I took a trip to Alaska last week. Luckily, there aren't many people up there so we had a very nice socially distanced vacation (besides the airport, but we followed all the rules and also got tested before we left). It was lovely to spend time in 60-degree rainy weather. Utah is a desert wasteland compared to Alaska. Someone will have to ask me a separate question about this for pictures etc.
On the less smiley side of things, I'm really nervous for my fall classes because I do NOT do well with online course work. I just can't keep a good, consistent routine with it. I worry that I won't be able to keep my GPA where it is. Since I'm applying to grad school starting this semester, it's really starting to stress me out. Also, online classes are just freaking depressing.
Despite the fact that I've been telling myself and others not to do this, I can't stop beating myself up for my quarantine (and probably also just marriage) weight gain. I see all these people on Instagram rocking their new workout schedules and getting fit during COVID-19, while I just watch The X-Files and eat Outshine bars in my swelteringly hot apartment. And I know, I know, I should give myself a break, comparison is the thief of joy and all that. It's just that Pebble is so good about being intrinsically motivated to follow his routine, and I cannot get myself to be consistent with mine. It's rough! Am I oversharing? Yes, probably.
At least it's almost fall and I can start buying pumpkin apple scented candles again.
I kicked off August with a seemingly random anxiety attack that, for the first time in my life, intensified suddenly into full-on panic. While in the ER, my heart rate peaked at almost 170 beats per minute, and for the longest five minutes of my life until the panic passed, I genuinely thought I was going to die.
I've spent the rest of the month playing the medication game with my doctor and setting up counseling. I've much improved from feeling like I'm on the verge of a heart attack, but until the anti-anxiety medication has sufficient time to work its magic, it seems that my new normal is a considerably diminished physical & emotional capacity. I've always said I was ahead of my time, but now my body seems ahead of its time, too.
Honestly, I've had my ups and downs. Referring back to Question #93011 you'll see my adventures with Carl Jr. not being able to burp, dairy allergy, reflux, etc. I've been going to a chiropractor since the middle of March (and yes kind reader who asked if he worked on my Atlas bone- he does thank you!). Well, in April I started going to physical therapy twice a week at the end of April since chiropractic adjustments weren't really just cutting it.
A month ago I was doing some research, frustrated that things weren't adding up in my mind. I found out that Carl Jr. does indeed have a lip and tongue tie. Which is SOMETHING I brought up to our pediatrician when he was TEN FRICKEN DAYS OLD. She looked in his mouth and said, "No he doesn't have one." I'm not going to get all TMI on all y'all, but nursing has been hell. If someone is actually interested in knowing the details, feel free to ask. But since I was a first time Mom I don't know what's normal and what's not. So he got his lip and tongue tie revised four weeks ago. It'll take anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months of him to relearn how to eat correctly. Which means if he had gotten it fixed at 2 weeks, he would only have to forget 2 weeks of how he used to eat instead of, I dunno, SIX AND A HALF MONTHS. His entire first year could have gone way differently (for me and him), and right now he's stubborn to change his eating behaviors.
ADDITIONALLY, if my pediatrician had just told me that she isn't qualified to professionally diagnose and tongue and lip tie, we would have gone to a pediatric dentist right away. Carl Jr. would have had a proper latch earlier on after his revision. (Which he didn't beforehand and that resulted in him inhaling way too much air and becoming difficult to burp.) I wouldn't have had to spend all my time and energy trying to burp him (sometimes for an hour straight on my shoulder), go to the chiropractor and physical therapy twice a week, be in an immense amount of pain, become depressed, and a bunch of other things that resulted in her misdiagnosis. I love her as a pediatrician, but honestly, I'm just pissed about it all and wanted to vent to someone besides Carl and my Mom. She's going to hear about it during his nine month appointment.
On the plus side, I graduated from physical therapy! I'm finally strong enough to handle Carl Jr. by myself, and nursing has gotten easier than what it was before. Carl is now applying for another job that he's really excited about and I really hope he gets it.
True to form, I'm living the dream, specifically the dream where I dig holes in the desert for fun and profit, thereby re-enacting the 2003 film Holes and thereby become crazy fit, you might even say... Shia LaBeouf.
Relationship-wise, I recently attended a friend's wedding and among the guests did spy with my sneaky eye That Person I've Liked For Two Years... with her surprise boyfriend. While this is mildly traumatic and vaguely tragic, those 15 uncomfortable minutes could save me fifteen percent or more in car insurance, because I'm thinking I should go into giant gecko riding so next time I'll be able to disappear easily over a wall.
Writership-wise, my invincible Mario Star Power I picked up when I started writing has about run its course, and I'm nearing the end of my time here at the 100 Hour Board, so if you have any burning questions for me about, say, chocolate frogs or dogs by logs then send 'em in. When I'm back from my stints in the desert I'll do my best to answer.
P.S. If you missed it, I wrote the Board's longest and longest-kept-over answer earlier this year (21350 hours and 25,249 words, respectively) which basically describes me getting in to international shenanigans with deadly weather, monkeys, and irritable foreign military police.
If you read some part of it, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org; I'd love to hear what you think.
I went into my remote internship this summer with basically no expectations because I just had no idea how it was going to work, but it's actually been going pretty well, so that's good.
On a less positive note, I am very stressed about going back to Provo and living with five roommates, including three strangers who may or may not take social distancing very seriously. I only have one in-person class and it's pretty small, so I'm actually not too worried about that, but I am worried about having to live somewhere where I don't really feel safe and about the toll that will take on my mental health.
Honestly - not the greatest. minnow and I had planned to travel to visit my BRAND NEW NIECE WHO IS ADORABLE, but no one is taking the pandemic seriously there and cases are exploding and we felt irresponsible traveling in a pandemic so that trip got cancelled. So now I have to explain to my extended family, none of whom are taking this seriously, about why I'm not traveling to see my new niece while my cousins are traveling across the country for a fun vacation. It's especially frustrating as we're currently living in Phoenix, and the virus and the heat is keeping us indoors all day, and I was really looking forward to a long trip away from this sun scorched land.
One nice thing though is I quit my job, as math camp for my PhD program is starting up in a few weeks. Though I'm not sure if I should be happy about an intensive calculus and statistics course shoved into 4 weeks. Right now I'm playing Assassins Creed and For the King and desperately trying not to think about the six years of academics I have ahead of me.
-guppy of doom
I'm doing pretty well at the moment! I'm at the end of a week long vacation that's consisted of camping at Bryce Canyon, staying at my aunt and uncle's guest house in Cedar City, and crashing at my parent's house to learn how to make salsa. It has seriously been sooo nice to take a break.
And oh, I should also mention that I just got an adorable kitten!
(He thought he was going to be coming with me on my vacation instead of staying with my friend who's been watching him for me)