"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #991 posted on 10/18/2003 4:02 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,
Who decides which books are "classics?" Is there some committee that gets together every year and meditates on which books would be the best torture for the poor helpless student populace?

-Classic Schmassic

A: Dear Class-act:

Yes, the International Literary Classics Coalition meets once every two years to decide which books to add to list of supposedly great literary works. After an "incident" in 1968, when a half dozen disgrunted college students attempted to asssassinate the entire coalition, membership in the group, as well as the location and timing of their meetings, is a tightly kept secret. Personally, I'd like find whoever is responsible for adding Dickens to the list and give them a good wallop over the head.

-- The Keeper of Silly Literature