That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest. - Henry David Thoreau
Question #27253 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
Who is Alex Rodriguez' (baseball player for the Texas Rangers) wife? My roommate has no testimony of your information finding skills, so if you could PLEASE find out for me, we would both be amazed and EXTREMELY appreciative. (Please don't write back and say he is single, because we know for a fact that his is married.)
Thanks, Your #1 Fan

A: Dear #1 Fan,
Alex Rodriguez married Cynthia Scurtis on November 2, 2002. You have received this answer because you asked with faith in our abilities. Your faithless roommate would not have received the same courtesy. Remember, the 100 Hour Board is not on trial. You are.
--Der Berliner
Question #27252 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
What do the letters ESPN mean? I've looked on the internet and even ESPN magazine and can't find the answer.
--Sportistically Ignorant

A: A Dear Ignorant,
ESPN stands for Entertainment and Sports Programming Network. And by the way, this question was also asked and answered in our June 13, 2002 archive.
-Cleveland Rocks
Question #27251 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have bought a book of hymn arrangements for voice and included in it was "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing". Every time I sing it my voice teacher rants about how she does not understand why it was taken out of the hymn book. It is a really beautiful hymn and I don't see anything doctrinally confounding (at least in the arrangement I have). Could you explain why it was taken out?
--a curious voice student

A: Dear Curious Singing George,
That's the question. That's the question everybody asks when they hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or the BYU choirs or the particularly stalwart ward choirs sing "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing." Why remove such a beautiful piece from the canon?

I haven't found any explicit answers for you. But I did find a beautiful article about the creation of the new hymnbook. You can find it on It's bibliographic information is:

Author: Kathleen Lubeck
Title: "The New Hymnbook: The Saints Are Singing!"
Source: Ensign, Sept. 1985, 7

I will, though, quote to you the excerpts I think are most relevant to your question (though the rest of the article really is interesting, informative, and worth reading):

"An estimated six thousand hymns had been submitted in recent years by members of the Church, and each was considered for inclusion in the new book. During the selection process, all names were taken off the texts and music submitted so they would be evaluated on their own merits, not on the credentials of those who submitted them.

"We had to feel strongly that each piece of music would do a great deal of good, that it would be loved, and that it would be of high enough quality that a member's spirit could be touched," added committee member Bonnie Goodliffe. "We wanted hymns that would touch our hearts in a Sabbath setting and stay with us during the week, too."

As a result, during the selection process the committee members looked at the hymns' potential, rather than disqualifying them for errors in form or mechanics. "If we felt approval from the Spirit, we worked with the hymn, in consultation with the originator, until we felt it was right," said Marvin K. Gardner, committee member. "As we reviewed each new hymn, we prayed to know if it was pleasing to the Lord, and if it would bless the lives of Church members. I'll never forget the many times I had the unmistakable feeling that the Spirit was indeed pleased with particular hymns and that I could without any reservation recommend that we use them. Each committee member felt that Spirit often."

Selecting the relatively few hymns that would finally be added to the book was a challenge. "I would compare it to buying a house," said Sister Goodliffe, "There are other factors involved in choosing, besides just the house itself. It has to be right for the family, in the appropriate price range, in a suitable location; it's not enough that you like it. Selecting these hymns was similar. There were more factors involved than I had dreamed of. And there were many wonderful hymns we couldn't use."

From the numerous hymns submitted, about two hundred were gleaned for final review and field testing. "We invited hundreds of people in various groups representing a broad cross section of Church membership to listen to these hymns, and they indicated which ones they felt were most effective," said Elder Pinnock. "The selection of hymns for the book was based on this field response to hymns proposed by the committee."

Just as some hymns have been added to the book, some have also been deleted. "Through the years a number of hymns have only rarely been sung," said Elder Pinnock. "Wanting to keep the book to a reasonable size, and needing to add new hymns, we felt it would be wise to remove some of the little-used hymns." Members may want to keep their old hymnbooks as a treasure, Brother Moody suggested, and continue to sing the hymns they love that may not appear in the new book."
It seems that "Come, Thou Fount" didn't make the cut. But, as Brother Moody suggests, we can/should continue singing "the hymns [we] love." You might even see it appear in the next edition of the hymn book.
Question #27250 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
About my most recent question about lights, Board Question #27249 why was that a stupid question? I intended it to be analytical.
--clinton king

A: Dear Clinton King,
Okay, I plead guilty to over-zealous sarcasm, but just out of curiosity, what kind of answer were you looking for? You want to know how often the parts of the lights need replacing? How 'bout every time they break? Do you plan to change your car's transmission every so often? No, you do it when you have to. And if BYU administration should ever decide to change out all the lights, the ensuing mass quantity of holes on campus would swallow everything up and the institution as a whole would cease to exist. No, no, there is no schedule. In fact, the only reason I can possibly concoct in my mind for which you would want to know all this information is if you had to write some strange paper about campus lighting, in which case the 100 Hour Board isn't going to help you much. If you really want to know the frequency of repair of these lights, I suggest you recruit a bunch of friends and keep a 'round-the-clock vigil in every quad until you obtain a sufficient sample to represent the entire population, and do the numbers from there. It might work; they manage to guard the Y and the statues on campus before the BYU vs. Utah game. Maybe you can ask the ROTC to help you out.
Question #27248 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have this tape called "I'm a Mormon." I listened to it when I was little and would like to get a copy of it, but the tape is really old (circa 1980) and it is not a very good recording. Is there anywhere I can get a new tape (or better yet, a cd) of this recording?
--completely reminiscent

A: Dear Lost in the past,
How very interesting. Here I was thinking that I was the only person who still owned that tape. Who could every resist such classics as "Gratitude Attitude," "Do you want to feel Happy?" and the titular "I'm a Mormon"? Written by Janeen Brady (who also wrote the Safety Kids stuff), this album is not available anywhere. BUT, if you go to and search for her, you will find a compilation album ("Songs for a Mormon Child") that includes some of the old goodies from "I'm a Mormon." Hope this helps.
--Hopelessly Reminiscent
Question #27247 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
Do you just walk into the Special Collections section of the library and use the books? What's with the card reader to the right of the doors?

A: Dear Unsigned,
There are a lot of doors in Special Collections, so I am a little unsure of which doors in particular you are referring to. However, despite that, I will go ahead and give you the scoop on the SC scene. Books in Special Collections are not available for open public perusal. They are kept in an extremely large area behind the public area. (The first floor here actually extends well beyond the length of the second floor, all the way to the Brigham Young statue in front of the ASB.) Most books in Special Collections are kept in open stacks back there, though there are a number of vaults for the more valuable items and also for the photographic archives.
Special Collections materials are viewed in a, er, "special" reading room. You are only allowed to have paper and pencils with you when you are in that room-everything else must be placed in a locker. To get the book(s) you want, you simply fill out a request slip for it and one of the friendly Special Collection staff members will go to the back room and retrieve it for you. Once you have entered the reading room, said staff member will hand you your materials.

Did you know that the oldest item in Special Collections is a small stone upon which is inscribed a receipt for a purchase of beer? Rather ironic, don't you think?
-She Who Must Not Be Named
Question #27246 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why are those "dangerous midget scooters" allowed on campus, but not the sensible, comfortable, warm-and-fuzzy, experience-proven skateboard (namely, the longboard skateboard)? I think everyone will be using them in the future.
--Robot S. Milosevic

A: Dear R.S.M.,
As far as I was aware, scooters were banned from campus. I, too, though, have noticed a few renegades scooting around. Perhaps you should join them on your longboard.
-Bob the Tomato
Question #27245 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
When did women start to shave their legs, and why?

A: Dear Centiplegic,
The earliest shaving razors discovered were flint blades made possibly as far back as 30,000 B.C. -- though that doesn't necessarily prove that (a) women were using them, or that (b) these alleged 'women' were using them to shave their legs.

However, between 4000-3000 BC (don't you love how they space these periods out so much? And here we are trying to disown the early 90's when they're barely 10 years away and not be even connected with them...but, I mean, what's the big deal with the 90's anyway? You bitter that you were too young to be a roadie or tour the country in a Ford Econoline with the East Coast Family?) women were removing body hair by making their own depilatory creams that contained bizarre combinations of scary ingredients such as arsenic, quicklime and starch.

Around 500 BC, Roman women began to remove hair with razors, pumice stones and make homemade depilatory creams from medicinal drugs such as bryonia. They also used tweezers to pluck their eyebrows.

This gives a pretty good segue into the present, where the female population at large is currently being systematically attacked by commercialized propaganda to substantiate their own egotistical self-awareness ideas. In the preface of her 1991 study in "Psychology of Women Quarterly," psychologist Susan Basow reflects lightly upon this calculated destruction of your body's hair:

"A major component of 'femininity' in the United States today is a hairless body, a norm that developed in the United States between 1915-1945. Little has been written regarding the development of this norm, and virtually no empirical research has been done to assess how universally ascribed to is this standard or why women actually remove their leg and underarm hair (Basow 83)."

Question #27244 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
At devotionals, etc... I see two students down on the floor interpreting in sign language. One is just doing standard ASL, as far as I can tell, but the other seems to be mouthing the words, and just moving her hand really fast in front of her mouth. What kind of sign language is that?
--cub scout

A: Dear cub scout,
You are right. One is doing standard ASL, while the other is mouthing the words. With his/her hand he/she is signing the first letter or two of the word being said. This is to aid lip readers, who would have a hard time distinguishing between such words as "come" and "some" or "ball" and "mall," because your mouth moves the same way when you say either of those pairs. With the first letter of the word, the ambiguity is removed and lip reading is facilitated.
--Der Berliner
posted on 12/06/2002 midnight
Dear 100 Hour Board, Board Question #27244
I wondered about the second sign interpreter myself. Here's the deal: The system is called cued speech. It is an aid to lipreading in which the hand shape and position combine with the visible articulations (lips, teeth, tip of tongue) to give each sound its own unique appearance. Each hand shape codes for a class of consonants and each position for one of vowels, which combined with the mouth position, represent a syllable very naturally in a small fraction of a second. Clever, no? For more information see
--Precision Freak
Question #27243 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
What did we do before the internet?
--Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

A: Dear LSD,
We sailed paper boats down orange juice rivers, we folded wrapping paper into birds and watched them fly away, we drank crystalline waters from tulip teacups. We sang, we danced, we reveled.

We watched TV.

--Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes, AKA SSAM
Question #27242 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
Is Joseph Jensen who works at Independent Study single?
Thanks, Just Wanting to Know

A: Dear Oh Inquisitive Wonderer,
Did you happen to do any research on your own about your Joseph Jensen? There are actually many men with that same name running around BYU. There are, however, only 3 who fit the name more or less exactly and/or work for Independent Study so I'll give you a rundown of what your options are: Joseph Jensen #1: He is a part-time employee (instructor, actually) from Pleasant Grove, Utah. He opts not to disclose his age. He is also happily married, so that means he isn't available. If you want to talk to him, please enroll in one of his courses at Independent Study. Actually, I guess that isn't an option unless you're trying to complete high school, because those are the only ones he teaches. English is one of his main specialties.

Joseph Jensen #2: A student at BYU, goes by 'Joe' and thinks he's hot. He has a PO Box address and lists his phone as an 800 number to protect himself from stalkers like you on BYU's The sad news about him is that, since he doesn't work at Independent Study, I ceased research regarding his other interests. If you are intrigued by this information anyway, mail him a letter and see what he's like. He will reply in 7-10 working days, but a reply is also contingent on the status of his semester.

Joseph Jensen #3: Name is actually Joseph William Jensen. He's from West Valley City, Utah, which may or may not be a good thing (I personally have a slight dislike towards the west side myself) but he does work at Independent Study and is an active student at BYU. He is 23 years old, and he enjoys his business classes. He is also, however, what administrators call a 'special exception.' Perhaps you should stay away from those types. Moreover, since he struggles to find dates on the weekends, I'm sure you could ask him out.
--Bulbous Bouffant, Macadamia
Question #27241 posted on 11/14/2002 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,
Can you tell me how many tickets were sold last year for the Homecoming Dance? How about each preference dance? If you can't find the numbers, do you know somewhere I can go to get a good guess?
Thanks, Demographicizer

A: Dear Demos,
This question gained us quite a few weird looks, particularly from the lady in charge of gaining these statistics. She wouldn't release those to us without a clearer idea of your purposes for them, but she did say that Homecoming was somewhere around 2400, and Preference was 2000. So yes, that does answer an old question about guys and girls. If you wish to find out more, then go into the Student Leadership office on the third floor of the Wilk (room 3500) and ask for Valerie Shewfelt. Her office is on the west wall, second to the north (#3494).
I'm sure she'd give you better results if you gave her a good reason too.