There is no music in hell, for all good music belongs to heaven. ~Brigham Young
Question #23343 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I enjoyed the amusing answers to Board Question Board Question #23150. I'd like to give a slightly more serious response - but just for the fun of it.

A highly polished shield would help in your defense from a blast from a laser gun. Metal can be highly reflective - in the neighbor of 95 to 99% of the incident energy. It takes an enormous amount of energy to melt or vaporize metal at a distance with an unfocused beam. So, unless the laser gun has one or two orders of magnitude more power than is necessary to blast through metal, your shield should be effective in deflecting the laser beam.

In regard to the part of the question dealing with the Star Wars Blaster rifle, the question looked harder at first, but I believe is actually easier. Harder because - what exactly does a Star Wars Blaster rifle shoot? It can't be a pulse of light, because among other things it travels much too slowly to be light. Remember that blaster shot ricocheting around the inside of the giant trash compactor in the first movie (Episode IV)? Traveling at the speed of light a pulse would go something like 10 million meters in a single frame of the camera (assuming 30 frames per second. Further if filmed at 20 frames per second).

But, obviously, all you need to do is to have a shield made like the inside of the trash compactor. And if Star Wars were consistent... your shield would deflect blaster bolts as well.

A better defense against laser beams (and perhaps blaster bolts) would be to cover yourself with cube-corner retro reflectors. That way no matter what direction the blast comes from, almost all of it is returned to sender, wiping out the shooter. Don't ask me why they were too stupid to think of it.

As an interesting side note, according to ancient unreliable history, it is said that Archimedes used mirrors to defend the city of Syracuse from an attack by a Roman fleet. He was able to concentrate the sunlight and set fire to each ship, one at a time. Some say that the mirrors were actually highly polished shields held by soldiers. Mythbusters has attempted to disprove the history as myth, and some attempts have been made to confirm the history, but I have my own theories. Archimedes was a genius.

- Doc

Question #23326 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

With respect to Board Question #23076, rubbing your nose before touching the inside of a beer mug should reduce the amount of foam. The outside of the human nose is a very oily place. (This is actually a trick that my flute teacher taught me for sliding my pinky finger across the keys.) Optimistic stated in Board Question #22462 that the oil from your fingers helps break up the foam, and touching your nose first will make your finger more oily, increasing the foam reduction. Of course, this only makes sense if your friends were talking about touching the inside of the beer mug, not the outside.

- Cindy

Question #23259 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What do you think of me?

- Johnny Depp

A: Dear Johnny,

I think you're one of the most talented actors of our generation, but I'm not too fond of you personally or politically. (Trashing hotel rooms and letting your bodyguards rough people up doesn't impress me.)

- Katya

P.S. I guess I'm one of the few who don't think you're that hot. Whatever.
A: Dear Johnny:

I have one word for you. Hott. Fake teeth, long hair, weird makeup, different accents. . .

Ah. Yes, so hott it requires two Ts.

A: Dear Johnny,

Oh my goodness, hot. Hot, hot, hot. I'm so excited for your next movie. Now get out of here, before one of the kids hears me.

-Your Mom
A: Dear Johnny Depp,

Board Question #22864

-purr purr
A: Dear Daddy,

I want *that* one. I want him *now*, Daddy.

A: Dear Johnny,

You are hot. Or, as Mo said, "hott." I like you as an actor - you pulled off Captain Sparrow like no one else could have. Katya's right, though - sometimes your personal life...well, not so good.

But still, you're hot. That's just undeniable.

Question #23258 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What do you think: is it better to come home from a mission just in time to start a new fall semester, or to come home and work to raise some money?

- Chris

A: Dear Chris,

I think there are two sides to this question and both depend on the person. (In no particular order...)

First, reality.
Some people have families that will support them through college and don't need to worry about money at all. If that's the case, great. If not though and you're one that doesn't, then the reality is that you may need the time to save money.

Second, emotion.
While money and education are important, the growth that one experiences from being on a mission just can't compare to the experiences at home. I've always heard from returned missionaries that when it's time to go home, it just feels right.

I don't think one could say there's a right way and a wrong way. If there was, you'd be given one day that you go home. I believe this is a decision that needs to be made based upon personal circumstances and counsel with the Lord. If you trust in the Lord and do what's right, everything will work out.

- Lavish
A: Dear Chris,

I came home from my mission and the very next day I was back at school. If I had it to do over again I would want to take a wee bit of a break between my mission and getting back to school to relax, earn a little money, and get back into a normal mode of things. It was a little odd for me to be thrust into the world of classes, homework, and trying to understand the complexities of women, after serving a mission. I went foreign and it also took me a couple weeks before I stopped making mistakes in speaking English and slipping in German words. I sure hope this helps. Please don't hate me.

-- Brutus
Question #23257 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is your opinion on police starting to use potentially lethal force against violent protestors?

- Chris

A: My Dearest Chris,

I believe that it is good for police to use a very strong force (potentially lethal force) against violent protesters. However, this does come with some hesitation. Potentially lethal force should only be used against protesters that pose harm to person or property. Once someone has been injured, or property destroyed, the police should demand that the crowds cease the unlawful demonstration, and disperse. If this does not happen police should state (over loud-speakers) that the use of potentially lethal force will commence in a short period of time (2 minutes for example), and once this time comes, they should light up the remaining protesters.

I personally have disdain for those that feel that they need to destroy property or harm people to further their own cause. These anarchists are the scum of society, they are like sheep, and they follow the most controversial leader. They do not offer solutions, they just cause problems. I think the press loves these riots (I don't really consider them protests), and that is why they have become so prevalent. The right to disagree does not mean one can harm the other party.

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
Question #23256 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

A year or two ago I heard a cover of the John Denver song "Country Boy." Since then, I have been (unsuccesfully) trying to find out who sings it and where I can find a copy. Help me?

Country Girl

A: My Dearest Girl of the Country,

Because John Denver was a popular artist, he has had many people cover his songs, especially since his death. I looked on, and found many tribute albums, and some of them had "Thank God I'm A Country Boy." The following albums had versions of this song: "Minneapolis Does Denver: Tribute to John Denver," "Country Mountain Tribute: John Denver," and "Rocky Mountain High: A Tribute To John Denver." You can listen to samples of these songs on, and even buy them there.

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
Question #23255 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What motivates people to sin? Specifically, people who love God and have salvation as their goal.

- Deep Thinker

A: Dear DT,

I think it happens when someone loses sight of his/her ultimate eternal goal.

A: Dear Deep Thinker,

I'm going to submit a theory about sin: People sin because it is easy. Every single sin is a matter of people losing control and choosing the easy way out. And, when I say "easy," I am certainly talking about easy in the short term.

The Plan of Salvation is never the easy way. The Devil's alternative plan was the easy way: Everybody returns to heaven, no extra effort required. In the short term, it sounded like a great idea. But, under Lucifer's plan, we would have arrived in heaven as weaklings unable to inherit the powers of God. I think all existence would cease to exist under Lucifer's plan because there would be nothing with the ability or strength to hold the universe together.

It is hard to obey the Law of Chastity. Free sex is the easy way out (well, for most people). It is harder to say no and live a moral life. We sin when we give into natural man urges... and let our hormones overtake our judgement. God wants us to become much more powerful than our bodies... so we have to work.

It is hard to obey the Word of Wisdom. Getting drunk is the easy way out. Peer pressure always pushes people to join the teaming hoards. It is hard to look at those attractive substances and say no. That is why so many people have relinquished their control to a bottle.

On a side note, I am always surprised by how many followers seek to fight for a banner of individualism. If I'm the only one in the group not drinking, aren't I the self-made and powerful individual? So why do those pushing the agenda of the individual tend to act just like everybody around them?

Regardless, I think sin is the easy way out. But, God doesn't want us to follow the easy path. He wants us to become like him, inheriting all the powers, qualities, and kingdoms of our heavenly parents. If we want to be like him, we have to work at it. But, it is never going to be the easiest way down.

God has asked us to overcome ourselves, and to spurn the easy. Desires, appetites and passions are all important to our eternal progression, but they must be kept within the bounds the Lord has set.

What motivates people to sin? Well... a lack of motivation to take a higher road. When we find a righteous motive, we are more likely to folow a righteous path.

That is all.

A: Dear Thinker,

I think it's a gradual thing too. Satan knows that righteous people aren't normally going to jump off the deep end and commit some grave sin right off the bat. It starts with things that are considered to be in the "gray area" and just gradually progresses. Gradual progression of the severity of sins coupled with rationalization is a recipe for disaster for even the most righteous people.

- Lavish
A: Dear Deep Thinker,

Let's consult the Book of Mormon, shall we?

3 Nephi 6:15

Now the cause of this iniquity of the people was this-Satan had great power, unto the stirring up of the people to do all manner of iniquity, and to the puffing them up with pride, tempting them to seek for power, and authority, and riches, and the vain things of the world.

Put simply, we sin when Satan tempts us with the "vain things of the world." Even those who love God and want to do what He wants them to do can forget what they ought to do and go after wealth, power, material goods and the like. This happens to the best of us.

I don't know that I can put it any more succinctly than the Book of Mormon does.

- Optimistic.
A: Dear Deep Thinker-

Why do you personally sin? Those are probably the same reasons others do. Elder Scott said that sin is often an attempt to self-medicate our souls; an attempt to forget our troubles momentarily, rather than turning to the real (but often painful) healing that Christ's atonement can bring.

-The Franchise
Question #23254 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Am I, literally or figuratively, the only person on campus who absolutely hates "Napoleon Dynamite" with a passion that will never die?

- Questioning

A: Dear Q,

I don't like it either. I'm with you.

A: Dear Q,


Question #23253 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My father was in the first graduating class of Brighton high school (utah) in 1970. He got a school ring and lost it only a few years later. He still talks about how he wishes he had that ring.

Im not sure if this is right... but I heard long ago in 1970 the graduating class chose their "class ring".. and that one design was made for the entire class and that all those who had a class ring had that same design.

If this is correct--I was wondering if there is a way I can get a replica of his old class ring. It would make him so happy I'm sure.

I checked the Jostins (the only people in the SL valley that does graduation stuff) website and was unable to find any information.

If you could help in any way it would be appreciated!


A: Dear MAD,

Have you thought of You might try registering (or registering as your dad) to see if you can contact anyone who graduated that year and who has their ring. The other thing you might try doing is to go to the high school library, ask to look at the old yearbooks, and try to track down someone that way.

Once you've found someone with the ring, um, I guess you could take pictures of it or something, or see if you can borrow it and take it to a jewelers and find out about getting a replica made. (Or maybe you should talk to the jewelers first, and then try to track down the ring. Either way.)

Good luck!

- Katya
Question #23252 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, would it be bad for an endowed female to, in complete privacy, say for example, her own back yard, sunbathe in a bikini? Along the same lines, is it bad to do that in a tanning booth? Where or what is the limit on that?


A: Dear ItsyBitsy,

I recommend you read "The Temple Garment: 'An Outward Expression of an Inward Commitment'" by Elder Carlos E. Asay from the August 1997 Ensign. He says:
There are some who would welcome a detailed dress code answering every conceivable question about the wearing of the temple garment. They would have priesthood leaders legislate lengths, specify conditions of when and how it should and should not be worn, and impose penalties upon those who missed the mark by a fraction of an inch. Such individuals would have Church members strain at a thread and omit the weightier matters of the gospel of Jesus Christ (see Matt. 23:23-26).

Most Latter-day Saints, however, rejoice over the moral agency extended them by a loving Father in Heaven. They prize highly the trust placed in them by the Lord and Church leaders-a trust implied in this statement made by the Prophet Joseph Smith: "I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves."
He also quotes from a message from the First Presidency issued in 1988 concerning the temple garment.
The fundamental principle ought to be to wear the garment and not to find occasions to remove it. Thus, members should not remove either all or part of the garment to work in the yard or to lounge around the home in swimwear or immodest clothing. Nor should they remove it to participate in recreational activities that can reasonably be done with the garment worn properly beneath regular clothing. When the garment must be removed, such as for swimming, it should be restored as soon as possible.
More recent counsel on this subject came from Elder Russell M. Nelson in the March 2002 Ensign ("Prepare for Blessings of the Temple"). He quoted Elder Asay and the message from the First Presidency. This is what our modern prophets have said. I'll let you interpret it for yourself, but I think it's pretty clear what is expected of those who have covenanted to wear the garment throughout their lives.

-Wilhelmina Wafflewitz
A: Dear IB,

Frankly, I have never been able to understand why any modest LDS female needs a tanned tummy.

(*la bamba pulls Katya aside and whispers in her ear*)

Fine, I see your point, but I still think it's dumb. By the time I get into that situation, I don't think that either of us ought to care if my tummy is exceedingly white.

- Katya (who stands out from the sorority girls by her peachy-pink-ness)
A: Dear Itsy Bitsy,

You know, dear, I don't see any problem with you wearing a bikini to tan in complete privacy, so long as it's not just an excuse to hang around in a swimsuit and you change back to normal wear when you're done and/or when someone else is going to see you.

The problem that I have is with tanning. Your husband may like a tan tummy, but you know that your aunt had skin cancer. This just isn't a safe habit to get into. If you have to be outside, you should be wearing sunscreen and sunglasses. And maybe a hat. You definitely shouldn't be shedding layers in an effort to expose more of your skin to those UV rays. You should keep yourself covered and wear sunscreen, or you're going to end up like me, covered in wrinkles, when you're older.

But go ahead and do what you want. You will anyway. I'm just glad you're modest and you don't wear that suit to the pool.

-Your Mom
Question #23250 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Who invented toothpaste? Just curious, I guess.

- stickittotheman

A: Dear Stickit,

Toothpaste has been used since as long ago as 500 BC in China and India but modern toothpastes were developed in the 1800s. Here's a "timeline" of modern toothpaste, I guess.

Timeline of Toothpaste

500 BC - "Toothpaste" is used in China and India

1824 - Dentist named Peabody adds soap to toothpaste

1850s - John Harris adds chalk as an ingredient to toothpaste

1873 - Colgate mass-produces the first toothpaste in a jar

1892 - Dr. Washington Sheffield manufactures toothpaste in a collapsible tube (called Dr. Sheffield's Crème Dentifrice)

1896 - Colgate Dental Cream is packaged in the collapsible tubes

After WWII, advancements were made in synthetic detergents that replaced the soap in toothpaste (i.e. Sodium Lauryl Sulphate and Sodium Ricinoleate).

A few years later, Colgate added fluoride to toothpaste.

Can you imagine life without toothpaste? Eww... And look at us now with twenty different flavors of toothpaste and toothpaste with whitening products and toothpaste with mouthwash stuff and each packaged in your favorite cartoon character shaped tube. Interesting.

(I added the underlined title at the top and I'm pleased with it.)

- Lavish
Question #23249 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

When people kiss, what are guys supposed to do with thier hands?

- Not going to try it!

A: Dear yeah right,

As per Official 100 Hour Board protocol, after this question was sub­­mit­ted, I tried it out with a large number of girls. You'd be surprised how many were interested in participating in this research when I flashed them my 100 Hour Board ID and my pearly whites.

The results were:
36.7% Somewhere on the middle of back (about the 6th thoracic vertebra)
24.2% Awkwardly on the back of head (depends on their hairstyle, obviously)
15.9% Clumsily on the lower back (approximately the 2nd lumbar vertebra)
13.6% One hand on each shoulder (also awkward)
5.4% Nowhere (that was weird)
4.2% Somewhere else not mentioned (but still Honor Code appropriate (mostly))

Since we all know you actually are planning on using this information, I hope this helps.

Quandary (with suggestions from an anonymous female writer)
A: Dear Hmm,

See Board Question #7000, for starters. (But not while you're kissing, I mean. That's a little <I>too</I> much devotion to the Board.)

- Katya
A: Dear Quandary,

I don't know if this will mess up your answer but, I changed my mind...

- Lavish
A: Dear Not Gonna:

What? KISSING??? Kissing's gross! Sick dude!

I'm not a very good liar. . .

A: Dear why not?,

As with most physical romantic contact, motion is a good thing. Granted, you don't want to get too crazy and be rubbing her so hard that she bursts into flames, but moving your hands is a good thing. Rubbing her arm gently, for instance, is good. Stroking her cheek is a good thing. I'd say you can't go wrong, but there are some places where hands ought not to go. (Trust me on that one.) I think you know as well as I do what's okay and what isn't. Try different things out and see what works well for you. You'll know when you find something that she likes.

Speaking from personal experience, I've found that the back of the neck, the cheek, and the waist are all good places for your hand to be while kissing.

- Optimistic.
A: Dear Not going to try it!,

Well, I always found that one arm around the waist and the other placed lightly along the side of the jawline so that the fingers are able to cradle the base of the back of the head to be rather well received.

A: Dear... oh please... you're getting lessons on the Board's time,

From the female perspective, thank you for asking the question and eliciting some excellent answers from the gentry. Wow... I'm impressed.

As for the girl's perspective, from the commentary of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and their continuous change-wardrobe make-out session, I agree with the Greek leading lady: "Hold the back of our heads, guys. That's all we want. Oh yeah."

Besides that, depending upon the intent behind the kiss depends where the hands should go.

Optimistic shows maturity by saying to go for what the girl likes, and to find out... girls who like where you touch her will definitely respond more favorably than when you try to touch her unfavorably.

Personally, depending upon the guy and the meaning behind the kiss as well as where we are in the relationship, or other critical factors, um... girls... (let the not-quite-so-innocent-parties-go-unnamed-here) like hands on waist, or a little bit higher on the back in order to pull her in closer, or ...basically anything that holds her head or supports her in some way.

Movement definitely is a good thing, although ...usually, slower is better. Taking your time... slow kisses as well as slower movements... not so slow as to make the girl question, but slow enough to really know what's going on.

To quote something once said to a friend, "Start small." A lot of life lessons can be learned from the same principles. Not sure what else to tell you without getting a PG-13 or such rating on this response. See the movie, "Hitch" for guides about the whole thing if you need visuals.

*thanks for the happy memories*

The Flirt,
Good Kisser:)
Question #23248 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

"Why are there so many songs about rainbows?" -Kermit the Frog, Rainbow Connection.

OK, what is Kermit talking about? I can maybe think of one song that mentions a rainbow. What other songs are there? Haha, silly Kermit.

- stickittotheman

A: Dear Stickit,

Actually there are quite a few. Not sure where you only get one from. I was going to compile the list, but The Keeper has already done so. Check out his response in Board Question #2886.

Question #23247 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I've got a housing question.

There's a good possibility I'll be getting married over the summer but I won't know for several months.

Contracts are being signed for Fall 06 as I write this. Should I sign a contract for single housing and hope I can sell it (if I do get married)? Or should I hedge my bets and sign both single and married contracts? How easy is it to sell a contract? Is it easier to sell a single or married?

My gut feeling is that it's relatively easy to sell a single contract at the beginning of Fall semester...particularly close to campus. Any experience/advice?

A: Dear Anonymous,

If things are as uncertain as you say they are, I would not sign any contracts. The Provo housing market is such that there are ALWAYS open spaces in many apartment complexes. Ride it out and see what happens, there is always time at the end of the semester to find yourself a contract.

-cubic nerd
A: Dear...

Cubic Nerd is correct. I would also advise not signing a contract yet - you shouldn't lock anything in if you're that unsure.

I'll tell you what Mr. Nike and I did. We knew basically at the end of winter semester that we were going to get married that year. We got engaged that July and I didn't sign a single contract. Instead, during August, we looked for married housing even though we weren't getting married until October. We looked for a couple weeks and found what we wanted. I moved in when my single spring and summer contact ended, and Mr. Nike stayed in his single apartment, as he had found someone to take his contract in October. I lived by myself in our married apartment from August until October, when we got married and Mr. Nike could finally move in. It was kind of expensive, but it was better than getting stuck with a single contract while having to pay for a married one as well.

So yeah. I'd wait until you're sure, and I'm positive you'll be able to find married housing at the end of the summer if you need to. Best wishes!

Question #23246 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Hi there!

Could you please tell me a very good recipe for brownies? Mine are too little brown I think...please help me.

-never stop trying to bake the best brownies in the world

A: Dear I might know, but you'd have to make me a batch to share,

The best things might be the most basic. Try the one in the Betty Crocker Cooky Book, found at Borders and probably at B&N. In it is a section of the most popular cookies by decade, and one of them, from the 30's, is the basic brownie recipe. Unfortunately for you, I did not buy the book, although I grew up perusing its pages.

However, I recommend buying the book. It also has fabulous cookie recipes to change and formulate (play with) to your heart't content. Sorry I didn's give you the recipe directly, but I try to teach people to fish, not to feed them roasted salmon directly, unless they're a really cute, nice, etc. guy who likes salmon cooked that way.

I'm being random cause it's 2:30AM. Hooray for the insomniacs of the world!

The Flirt
A: Dear Never and Flirt:

My gosh! I have EVERYONE saying Hooray!

Hooray for that!

A: Dear Brownie Maker,

See also Board Question #11920.*

- Lavish

*Disclaimer: Actually adding ingredients to otherwise harmless brownies is not endorsed by the 100 Hour Board, BYU, or myself and I have never in my life ever tried anything like this. Especially not on any of the guys in my ward. In this response I am not, by any means, suggesting that you try this. The aforementioned question is for educational purposes only.
Question #23245 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How do you format a business name in APA format? Do you put quotes around it? Italicize it? Simply set it off with commas? Do nothing?

For example:

"Barnes & Noble" is my favorite bookstore.

- theduck

A: Dear Ducky,

You treat a business name like any normal proper noun. Capitalize it. No quotes, no italicizing. Don't set it off with commas unless the context requires it.

For instance: My business, the Cookie Shop, is doing quite well. (If the speaker only has one business.) My business the Cookie Shop is doing quite well (if the speaker has multiple businesses but is referring to the Cookie Shop). This has nothing to do with the proper noun-ness of the business and everything to do with comma rules.

Treatment of business names: Barnes & Noble is your favorite bookstore. It's one of mine, too, though I begrudgingly admit that I can occasionally tolerate Deseret Book.

Some businesses may have a comma before "Co." or "Inc." in which case you'd follow the word with a comma as well.

-APA: The devil's handbook
Question #23244 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My dog, a yorkshire terrier, is very pregenant. Her due date is today and it's the last day I'll be home before going back to school. So, we realize that this question won't be answered in time to be applicable, but we'd still like to know. We've heard that if women want to go into labor, they should exercise by going on a walk or something. Does the same thing apply to dogs? If not, is htere anything else we can do to help her have babies faster?

~Christine Daae

A: Dear Christine Daae,

I haven't been able to find any information on hurrying up the onset of labor, other than medication or surgery. However, I found things that can be done to help speed up labor after it has begun. Walking can speed up contractions, and it is also a good idea to let the pup or pups already delivered to nurse, because this will release oxytocin, a hormone that will increase contractions and speed up the rest of the delivery. But if your dog hasn't gone into labor and seems past due, call your veterinarian. Hope the puppies came safely!

-Wilhelmina Wafflewitz
Question #23241 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear Horatio,

How was your birthday? Any big plans to rent a car sometime?

- A Fan

A: Dear A Fan,

My Birthday was pretty darn good. I mean, I didn't have to stress much... which is just great! I had the day off, so I went snowmobiling with a friend in the Uinta Mountains. My friend hit a tree and broke the snowmobile and I was sore for the next few days, but that's OK.

In the evening, my Dad took me to dinner at Cafe Pierpont and we went to see the Kings Singers perform with the Utah Symphony.

As for renting a car, I sure look forward to the opportunity... but I don't have many plans for now. Maybe I should just plan a trip so I could rent a car... but, maybe I should be satisfied in the knowledge that I COULD rent it... if I wanted to.

Thanks for being a fan. Be sure to join the new Horatio Fan Club blog. Just e-mail me (horatiotastic [at] gmail [dot] com).

That is all.

Horatio... a cultural icon for a full quarter-century.
Question #23234 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I often hear complaints that teachers don't get paid enough, and I do agree. However, I've been thinking about this lately and my thoughts are these:

Since the majority of K-12 teachers only work about 8 months out of the year (usually 2.5-3 months off for Summer, 2-3 weeks off for Christmas, 1-2 weeks off in the spring, and days off for various other holidays) they actually get paid fairly well. However, for further purposes, I'm going to say that they work 9 months out of the year because there seem to be enough paid preparation days both during the year and before the school year starts to round up to 9 months. I know that some teachers use a bit of the summer and occassionally their weekends to work on lesson plans--but I didn't feel it right to account for that because they choose to do that themselves and they do have paid prep times in order to work on those things.

According to the median pay for an Elementary School Teacher in Salt Lake City is $45,353. The same source quotes the median pay for a Registered Nurse in the same location as $56,664.

I chose a nurse because they were the first profession that came to my mind that is also comprised largely of women; but, who never get large breaks of time off from their jobs. And the two professions are arguably the same stress load while at work.

So, let's say that teachers work 9 months (or 3/4) of the year, and they get paid $45,353. Then I adjusted the nursing salary by multiplying it by 0.75 to get what the nursing wage would be for the same amount of "billable hours." It is $42,498. So, in all reality, the teachers are justly compensated for their time and aren't as shafted as they say they are. They are not in a different boat than many other professions that deserve more pay.

Is this a justified idea? What do you think? Any and all comments would be very appreciated.


A: Dear Itzak,

Do you actually know any teachers? Whether or not they are only paid for nine months out of the school year, they do a lot more prep than is actually paid for. A nurse can be dedicated, but she doesn't seem to often "bring her or his work home with them." Infact, in most cases, that would be highly dangerous as at hospitals there is equipment, patients shouldn't be moved, etc.

Do you think that summer is actually vacation time and paid? HA! I know of teachers who have to get second jobs during the summer to make ends meet. For all the subs, how much time do they get to prepare, and how much advance notice?

My roommate is a teacher, and she gets to school early and comes home very late. Don't tell me that she doesn't care or that she is adequately paid for her time. She's basically the kid's Moms, only minus some of the priveleges of discipline, and plus having to be PC and not being able to really tell the kids how she really feels about a lot of things, but having to go by the status quo.

I'm not saying that nurses have it easy at all. Good heavens, I know they don't. I just know not to bash teachers. Utah teachers, especially. They are either 49th or 50th for lowest salaries for teachers in the U.S.

Besides cost of living, teachers where I'm from make LOTS more money than teachers here do, and yet... even with the not-the-best facilities, lack of parental support to having to deal with other family's abuse, political dogma and politics with other teachers and principals, and educational systems that push being systematic instead of really teaching, they still do it.

Of course I don't have a say in it presently, but in order to have society on my pay scale, teachers would mkae the most money followed up with priority services. Lawyers would break even, and make enough just to keep themselves alive. I think there would be less conflict in this country if lawyers were only paid what either a) they were worth, or b) what their cases were worth.

A: Dear Itzak,

I, on the other hand, largely agree with you. There are instances in which I think teachers are underpaid. For instance, I know several teachers who are expected, for little to no extra compensation, to spend their nights and weekends mentoring students in extra curricular activities, including taking the students on road trips.

I know other teachers who are overpaid, insofar as their idea of teaching is to take roll, assign homework, and then leave class for the rest of the period.

On the whole, though, I think teaching is a well-paid profession. Yes, teachers usually take extra time to prepare their lessons. But they do have paid prep time. And most teachers do get a three-month vacation every year. No, it's not a paid vacation, but when you do the math, as you have, the wage that teachers are receiving for only working 3/4 of the year is not an unjust one. It's not the way to get rich quick, for sure. And teachers may have to get a summer job to supplement their income, but that doesn't mean that they aren't paid fairly for the nine months of work that they do every year. Teachers aren't on-call the way that people in the medical profession are. They don't have to worry about having Christmas interrupted because of someone else's emergency. And their job, though a demanding one, isn't, in my opinion, as demanding as one in which a person's mistakes have the potential to kill the client. I think the more relaxed schedule and less intense duties of a teacher can be compensation for receiving a lower wage than more demanding professions.

I considered being a teacher myself, you know. The hours would have been roughly when you were away in school anyway. I would get all the school holidays off to spend with you. I'd have summer vacation off to spend with you, too. It's not a bad way to go.

-Your Mom
Question #23229 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

A while back there was a discussion about Celiac's Disease. Does anyone else have DH (dermatitis herpetiformis) from Celiac's? After over 5 years of trying to treat it my options for managing it are still full of risks and side effects;ie, Cyclosporine -- my kidneys started to fail; prednisone -- gained 20 lbs and had a huge fat face; tanning -- obviously risking skin cancer. Now nothing is helping. I'm desparate for an answer... or a sympathetic dermatologist!

i miss the 80's

A: Dear Missing the 80s,

I had one of the kids help me do a search with that Google engine, and we found some information that might be helpful. You're certainly not alone in your condition.


It is important to appreciate that a gluten free diet may have no effect on the rash for approximately six months and sometimes, even longer. It takes this length of time before patients can start to reduce their drug requirements and approximately 2 years before they can discontinue drugs completely. It is also important to realise that these times are only achieved if the diet is absolutely strict. Even small amounts of gluten may result in patients not being able to stop their drugs.

Thus, because the drugs control the rash quickly and the gluten free diet does not, it is normal practice to start both drugs and diet together. After six months, the dose of drugs can be slowly reduced. DH is a persistent disorder (and because these patients also have CD, even if mild), the diet must be considered to be life-long. However, one improvement for patients that has occurred in the last five years is that it has been shown in DH (as in CD) that oats do not cause the rash and thus, these can be taken. Wheat, barley and rye must still be omitted. There is no evidence that gluten in flour or wheat products touching the skin can induce or exacerbate DH or CD.


So, you could try eating a gluten-free diet. However, as the article says, it has to be an absolutely gluten-free diet. No fudging. Ever. The effects may not show for a long time, so you'd have to be patient. But this sounds like the best way to stay off drugs with potentially dangerous side effects and to avoid putting yourself at risk for skin cancer.

The article also mentions a couple of drugs that you may not have tried. You could talk to your physician and see if any of them might be possibilities for you. If you decide a gluten-free diet is the route for you, discuss that with your physician as well before starting the diet. I'm not qualified to give medical advice--my expertise ends at prescribing chicken noodle soup--so go see your doctor before making a decision.

-Your Mom
Question #23222 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you know of any other websites where you can download more free talks by John Bytheway?

I have tried and and they are not giving me many results.

I know you are omniscient, and that is why I turn to you in my personally futile search. Thanks for your help!

- Bytheway, I can't find the talks...

A: Dear Can't find the talks,
John Bytheway sells books and audiobooks of his material, so you obviously won't be able to find everything he's ever written for free online. However, there are several sources for his material other than the two sites you mentioned. One is LDS Voices, which has two of his talks here and here. Several of his songs are available at Even more are available at his Web site.And parts of his book <I>What I Wish I Knew in High School</I> are available at And if you're willing to pay actual money for the talks, there are even more available on The prices, however, are rather high.

- de novo -
Question #23165 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have a question about Einstein's theory of relativity. I have only a fairly basic concept of it, so keep that in mind.

It came to me today in philosophy. The theory of relativity says that the faster an object goes, the more massive it gets, right? And that as something with a mass approaches the speed of light its mass approaches infinity.

Now for my problem. Lets say that there is a planet Werf 1 that is moving at 2/3 the speed of light away from some point, which I am going to call Point. There is also another planet that is in a straight euclidian line with Werf 1 and Point, but has Point between itself and Werf 1, which I am going to call Hundred. (So, the line goes through Werf 1-->Point-->Hundred.) Now, Hundred is moving away from Point at 1/2 the speed of light. So, relative to Point, neither of the planets are moving faster than the speed of light, however, relative to either of the planets, the other planet is moving away at 7/6 the speed of light, and so it would seem that not only is it traveling faster than the speed of light, one or the other, or both, of them should have infinite mass and we should all be dead. Is this possible according to Einstein?

I have thought of a couple ideas about this problem as well. The first is that Einstein assumes that there is such a thing as absolute speed/velocity. This doesn't make that much sense to me since he seemed to be a pretty intelligent person.

Then I thought that maybe no point can be moving at greater than the speed of light from any other point. This does not seem possible at all. After all, if you look at two galaxies that are moving away from each other, and then look at two arms of those two galaxies that are moving away from each other, and then look at two planets in those arms that are moving away from each other, and then look at two points on the surface of those two planets that are moving away from each other as the planets spin, and so on to the subatomic level, it seems very unlikely that no set of two points in the universe ever move away from each other at greater than the speed of light.

Another idea that I thought of is that maybe he is saying that there is some point in the universe from which no other point is moving toward or away from at greater than the speed of light. This seems much more likely than the previous idea, but it seems very closely related to absolute speeds. I am not sure about this one. It seems to have the same problems as both of the above.

Or maybe Einstein was wrong and some new theory has really already replaced his without me knowing about it?

The last idea is that I am not understanding something correctly. Maybe this is why alternative methods of geometry are being studied? Maybe I am confused about some part of Einstein's theory?

What do you think?

- Fredjikrang

A: Dear Fredjikrang,
You are in fact correct about mass getting bigger as you approach the speed of light. You have, however, made a crucial mistake in determining the relative speeds of the two planets. When using Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity the observed velocities are not given by simply adding and subtracting the given velocities. An example is given below (note that c = the speed of light).

<IMG SRC="">

There the relative speed of the two planets to each other is actually still less than the speed of light so everything still works out just fine and dandy (the negative sign in the observed velocity simply indicates direction -- in this case the velocity of hundred is in the opposite direction of werf). Just so you know Einstein's Theory of Relativity is still valid and the speed of limit is in fact the maximum speed of the universe. Well I sure hope this helps. Please don't hate me.
-- Brutus
Question #23159 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Lately I have been craving the amazing alfredo sauce that is used at Tomassito's Italian Cafe in the Cougareat. I looked them up on the BYU website, but couldn't find a menu or anything that would give me the recipe for the alfredo sauce. I think that they might buy it in big containers at some store rather than make it themselves, but all the store bought alfredo sauces I have tried are disgusting and taste nothing like the Tomassito's sauce. Could you please tell me where they get their alfredo sauce from or give me the recipe of this sauce so that I can make it myself? Thanks for your help!

- Brunette

A: Dear Brunette,

Tomassito's does make their own alfredo sauce. My sister used to work there, and she said it was quite the process to make it. The employees say they don't give out recipes; if you have a good reason as to why you need it, you might be able to ask a supervisor, but I really wouldn't plan on it. Do most restaurants give out the secret to their food? Not usually...

Question #23126 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

This all started in a Sunday School lesson (don't ask--long story). It has since lead to a "discussion" between my roommates and I (females).

What are the top 5 prestigious majors at BYU that have at least 50% women in them? We decided that Nursing is probably #1 followed by Music as #2.

On the other hand, what are the "bottom" 5 majors for women? We decided on MFHD as the lowest, with Elementary Education as #2.

Feel free to use whatever criteria you want to rank them.

As an el ed major myself, I don't like that ranking very much. However, after spending two days "job shadowing" my pre-nursing roomate, I don't even feel like I can compare the two. They are completely different leagues--and nursing is definately 20 times more demanding and stressful than my major is. It's not like I'm dumb or anything--I did very well in AP science classes in high school. The nursing classes are most definately extremely harder than those were though.

My roommates have a wide variety of majors, and so do our friends, so it has just continued as a topic to discuss. This isn't meant to spark a debate or controversy--it was just a discussion that we would like additional input on.

Anyone care to take a stab?


A: Dear Ada,

Looks like it's time to bust out ol' Board Question #8162, again, only our last list was pretty incomplete. I don't remember exactly how we came up with it, but it had some pretty big gaps. (We completely forgot nursing! How did we do that?) Anyway, we decided that it would be too time consuming to go through all of the majors, so we settled for departments, instead. Also, we couldn't find good numbers on male/female ratios, so we just went with our impressions. (Why go to the trouble of finding exact statistics, when the final output is based on opinion, anyway?)

So, in our observation, these are the rankings of departments with a fairly high number of females:

Nutrition, Dietetics and Food Science
Linguistics and English Language
Germanic and Slavic Languages
Humanities, Classics and Comparative Literature
Audiology and Speech Language Pathology
French and Italian
Spanish and Portuguese
Visual Arts
Counseling Psychology and Special Education
Social Work
Educational Leadership and Foundations
Recreation Management and Youth Leaderships
Marriage, Family and Human Development
Teacher Education
Home and Family Living

Naturally, this doesn't reflect our personal opinions on the subject. (Katya's family is full of music majors and she knows how much work the major is.) General observations: If someone isn't sure exactly what your field of study consists of, you get more status for being mysterious (anthropology, linguistics). Social sciences rank above the humanities, but below "real" sciences. And anything that makes you look like you just came to BYU to get married, loses you a lot of status.

Ironically, the majors which deal with some of the important area of life (family, marriage, education) get the shaft. So it goes.

- Katya & A. A. Melyngoch

P.S. If you're horribly offended by this question, don't bother writing in. The writer of Board Question #8314 beat you to it.
Question #23054 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How similar are digital camera sensors and high efficiency solar cells? Are they made using similar methods? Which one absorbs more energy? (Is more efficient?)

I am asking because during a recent venture into solar tech, I realized that current solar panels are not very efficient. However, the sensors in digital cameras do a similar thing (change light energy into electrical energy) and it seems like these sensors are getting faster (more sensitive/more efficient) all the time. It seems like there is some possibility of using advances in these sensors and applying them to solar panels. What do you think?

- Fredjikrang

A: My Dearest Fredjikrang,

Apples and oranges. Digital camera sensors (CCD or CMOS) are not really like high-efficiency solar cells (photovoltaic panels). A solar panel absorbs the suns energy, and converts it to electricity. The sun delivers about1 kW/m2 to the Earth's surface, and a good solar panel will produce about 200 W/m2 , about 20% efficiency. A digital camera sensor requires an electric charge to "capture" an image, so the sensor is "turned on" by a battery, exposed to light, and responds by outputting an electric charge. A good CCD sensor captures about 70% of the light that hits it.

Now you can see that there are inherent differences between these two light capturing devices, but there are also similarities. I am sure that if properly adjusted, one could use digital camera sensors to convert the sun's energy into electricity. Would it be a good idea? Probably not, this is due to the large cost for such a small sensor. For the price of a fairly large solar panel, you could buy a very tiny digital camera sensor. Because having a larger footprint would allow for an exponentially greater capture of light, the relatively low efficiency of a solar panel would beat a digital camera sensor (if it could be used as a light to electricity converting device).

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
Question #22975 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

During a recent nighttime walk on the southwest corner of campus, I stumbled across a cage on the little stone pathway behind the visitor's center. It was really dark and my cell phone wouldn't play flashlight long enough for me to see what animal was inside the cage, but after analyzing its breathing and the rough outline I make out in the dark (and seeing another fox running around free), my guess is that it was a fox.

The next morning, I made a small detour on my way up to campus, only to find the cage empty and re-set.

So my question is: who puts up these cages, why, and what do they do with the animals they catch? (Do foxes hunt deer?)

-Fox in the Snow

A: Dear Foxy,

Who: Who deals with campus animal control? For small animals, the grounds crew would take care of it. For bigger animals, animal control or University Police take care of it. But the local animal control, Utah County Animal Services, only deal with cats and dogs. Since the county does not provide animal control services for wildlife, BYU would have to hire a wildlife removal service which sets up the cages.

Why: Why put up cages to catch wildlife such as foxes? While foxes don't hunt deer, they do like poultry, so the beloved ducks of the botony pond are at risk with foxes at large. Also, foxes pose a potential health risk since they may carry rabies.

What: What do they do with the animals they capture? They either relocate or euthanize. Some animals may be in such poor health that euthanization is their best interest, or they may be so old that the stress of relocating to a new habitat may be too much.

-Wilhelmina Wafflewitz
Question #22784 posted on 02/25/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My Dad was recently remembering the good ol' days. He mentioned a few songs he enjoyed as a kid. I was able to find words/music to all but one song. I really want to surprise him with this so that he can sing it again.

The song was one that his father used to sing. My Dad was born in '51, so I assume the song came out around that time.

Here's what he said about it in an e-mail -
"Dad used to sing "I'm an s a v e d, I'm an s a v e d, I'm sure I am, I know I am, I'm an s a v e d." Don't remember the rest."

I've searched and googled and haven't been able to turn up anything.

Oh great 100 hour board, please help.

- Interested in this stuff

A: My Dearest Interested In This Music Stuff,

I have searched high and low for an answer to this question and have not found any song with the lyrics you mentioned. I have tried many modifications of the lyrics, "I'm an s a v e d, I'm an s a v e d, I'm sure I am, I know I am, I'm an s a v e d" but have found nothing. I assume that the word "saved" is spelled out, but I think the inclusion of "an" is the problem, it just doesn't sound right. I also talked to a older gentleman in my home ward, that collects music from the 50s, and he could not think of any song that had those lyrics. If you would like to ask your father for more specifics on the song, you can re-submit your question.

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo