There is no music in hell, for all good music belongs to heaven. ~Brigham Young
Question #23387 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear Interested in this stuff (Board Question #22784),

I ran a quick Google search and turned up a real answer. The title of the song is (predictably) "I'm S-A-V-E-D" and the Traditional Ballad Index says it's obviously a composed song, but the author is unknown. The first recording was in 1926, by Gid Tanner & his Skillet Lickers, but since then it has been recorded by Delaware Water Gap, in 1977, on the album "String Band Music," Georgia Yellow Hammers, in 1979, on the album "Moonshine Hollow Band," Karl and Harty, in the 1970s, on the album "Karl & Harty with the Cumberland Ridge Runners," Melanie Sovine, in the 1970s, on the album "Appalachian Folk Music," and Hedy West and Bill Clifton, in the 1980s, on the album "Getting Folk Out of the Country." It is also included in the book "Songs for Pickin' and Singin'", published in 1962, on p133, and "Songs for Swinging Housemothers," published 1963, on p. 43.

Since it's such an old song, there are many variations in the lyrics. One version given on the site I found has these lyrics, which seem to be closest to the fragment you provided:

(As sung by Karl and Harty [Karl Davis and Harty Taylor].)

Some folks jump up and down all night at a D-A-N-C-E,
And Sunday go to church to show their brand new H-A-T.
Upon their faces smeared are daubs of P-A-I-N-T,
But still they've got the brass to say, "I'm S-A-V-E-D."

CHORUS: "I'm S-A-V-E-D, I am, I'm S-A-V-E-D.
I know I am, I'm sure I am, I'm S-A-V-E-D."

I know a man; I think his name is B-R-O-W-N.
He talks for prohibition but votes for G-I-N.
He helps to mix the poison in his neighbor's C-U-P
But still he's got the brass to say, "I'm S-A-V-E-D." CHORUS.

Some folks go to church to hear the B-I-B-L-E.
The preacher gives a sermon from the P-U-L-P-I-T.
Then they go home and play poker, and roll D-I-C-E,
But still they've got the brass to say, "I'm S-A-V-E-D." CHORUS TWICE.

This reminds me of a great song my family sings: "I am a C, I am a C-H, I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N, and I have C-H-R-I-S-T in my H-E-A-R-T and I will L-I-V-E E-T-E-R-N-A-L-L-Y." That last line's a joy to spell in song.

And yes, yes, I should have done all this during the 100 hours your question was in the inbox, but what can I say? I've been busy. At least you've got your answer now.


Question #23384 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In response to Board Question #23234, I was a little outraged. I'm not a teacher, but I have a newfound respect for them. My mom went back to school to become a teacher. It is only her second year teaching but If I were in her place, I would be screaming. She has stacks of papers that she has to keep in a carry-around crate. She leaves in the morning at 5 am. She finishes school at 2:30 or 3. Then she has to stay in her classroom to organize her materials for the following day till 4 or sometimes even 6. She has to get to bed around 8 or 9 in order to get adequate sleep, but she usually ends up getting something to eat and then working on grading in bed. Besides grading thousands of papers, she has to coordinate the curriculum so that she is teaching the same stuff at the same time as the other teachers. She has to attend some saturday lessons by the district and have meetings with other teachers. She has to deal with angry parents and awful kids. There has been at least one memorable messed up kid in her 3 years of teaching (one as a student teacher). And the teacher has to start going to her classroom to put everything up and start outlining her entire years worth of planning around june or july in order to prepare for school. I've even seen her have to go do something at the school on sundays. Her life revolves around it. My step-dad works so money is not a problem, but for all that she does, she is probably getting no where near the amount she should be getting. Our teachers are teaching our children when they are not at home. All of the kids currently attending school will be the future educators and leaders of our community when we are older and depend on them to make wise decisions. I have seen too many kids in my moms class who turn out to be brats because their parents teach them to be that way. They may not "work" the same amount of hours and they may not need as much schooling, but for all the impact they provide, they should be given the highest priority in salary and importance.

- Has Much Higher Respect For Her Past Teachers

Question #23377 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Just a comment on question Board Question #23196. Some tips on buying a car. No matter what kind of car you are looking for, it is best to know the value of the car you are looking at. That way you can bargain with the dealer better, because you know what their minimum is. It is common for the dealer to mark up the price 80% or so on used cars. but if you know the blue book value, you can't be cheated so easily. There are free websites that allow you to calculate the exact value of the car. There are even nifty options like what the trade-in value is, and the wholesale value. is the best of these sites.

Question #23370 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Re: Board Question #23246

The best brownie recipe I've found so far is from Epicurious. It's mostly butter, so it should be good, eh?

- Nafo, a chocoholic


Dear 100 Hour Board,

Dear 100 Hour Board,

The question of prevelance of certain sins among Mormon guys (Board Question #23236) can be partially answered by Wilford E. Smith's article "Mormon Sex Standards on College Campuses, Or Deal Us out of the Sexual Revolution!", Dialogue 10(2):76-81. This article is available online at

Smith conducted surveys of thousands of students over his academic career (part of which was at BYU). His conclusion is that sexual acts, while less frequent among active Latter-day Saints, are still pretty common. He found that 78 percent of active Latter-day Saint men had masturbated. He also found that 19 percent of active Latter-day Saint men took part in intercourse outside of marriage.

His findings are from 1972, however. Church members may have gotten better or they may have followed the world's trend of making all these practices more common. He also discusses what percentage of Mormons found the practices he mentions immoral.

The Backslider is a great book, but it is a tad rough. Personally, I really enjoyed it and felt like it dealt marvelously with the issue of not allowing ourselves to be healed by the Atonement. It's not for everybody, but it's not too far off from my personal experience as a Mormon boy.

- Wishes he could really believe His blood is enough

A: Dear trying to believe,

Thanks for the info and for your comments. I think your last paragraph expressed the situation very well. If you've <I>been</I> there, you'll like the book because you'll really appreciate how the main character gets <I>out</I> of the situation. If you <I>haven't</I> been there . . . you may not want to go there at all, so you may not like the book.

- Katya
A: Dear it is, it is!,

I loved the book too. But I think you already knew that.


Question #23339 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In regards to Board Question #23232, the reason the A/C light comes on when you turn on the heater is that, while many people regard the "A/C" to be the "cooler," it really is also the "air conditioner." That is, it "conditions" the air by removing water vapor from it. This actually makes defrosting the windshield faster and more efficient, and less likely to "fog" the interior of the car while it's being heated.
It's a fairly new innovation, at least in my experience, but it's certainly NOT an actual problem that a mechanic needs to fix.

Martin Blank

Question #23309 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Hey so how do you men let a lady know that you like her? I still don't understand you all.

- Hawaii

A: Dear our fiftieth state,

Being of a somewhat timid persuasion, I used to try and be as subtle as I could. I still do. I would spend a lot of time around her and try to place myself in her life as much as possible. It would make sense to inform her directly that I was interested, but I was too afraid of the possibility of rejection to be so forward.

I have it on good authority that young women (or, at least, the one I'm currently dating) prefer to skip the games and just know, straight up, how a young man feels about her. I tried that about a month ago. She wasn't sure how she felt about me then, but after a few hours of thinking about it, she'd made up her mind.

So that's what I do now. It goes right along with my New Year's resolution to be more assertive. Rather than trying to imply my way into a relationship, I'll be more direct and let her know that I'm interested by asking her on dates, spending a lot of time with her, and telling her things along the lines of, "I like you," and "I would be interested in dating you." Thus far, I'm batting 1.000 with that approach. I think I'll stick with it.

- Optimistic.
Question #23307 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I just got my passport. I want a stamp but I'm poor. Where can I go for cheap and fun, departing from my current locale in the midwest?

If it helps, I like any place with good food. I speak enough Spanish to figure out where the important things are (hotel, restaurant, bathroom, beach), enough Arabic to say hello, and enough French to tick them off. Don't let that limit you though--I'm open to anything but Canada. I can go there sans passport.

- All Dressed Up With No Place To Go

A: Dear All Dressed Up,

I would recommend continually searching the major air carriers promotional fares as you can usually find a fairly good deal. For example right now (book by March 2) Northwest Airlines is offering a flight from Detroit to Frankfurt for only $249 dollars one way (which is really good for Europe). The key is to keep looking. Last year I flew from Salt Lake to Frankfurt for only $500 round trip.

If you are flexible and willing to wait for a good fare you can usually find something, especially if you are willing to look at different airports near your locale. For example I live in the middle of nowhere Ohio so any time I fly to or from home I have my choice of flying into Detroit, Cleveland, Pittsburg, or Columbus. If you try different airports you can usually find something.

If you want my recommendation I would go to Germany. It is a really fun place, you can get by with your English, and the food is really pretty good (I gained almost 30 pounds while I was there). Well I sure hope this helps. Please don't hate me.

-- Brutus
A: Dear all dressed up,
Don't go to France. They don't give stamps.

British Airways just ran a deal to London from NYC for $250 round trip...

There are deals out there.
A: My Dearest Wearing Clothes and Staying At Home,

If you just want anything in your passport, I have an idea. You can go to a country's consulate and purchase a visa, it isn't nearly as interesting as going to a country, but it is cheaper. Also visas usually have shiny holograms and other things, something that stamps don't have.

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
Question #23304 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What does everyone (and I mean everyone, not just Horatio) think of the recent deal made with the UAE and the managing of several ports? Personally, I think we shouldn't allow a government, known to abide and associate with Al Qaeda, to run vital parts of our economy.

- First Tenor

A: Dear First Tenor,

Honestly, I am devoid of opinion since I didn't have a clue that happened until you just mentioned it. Too busy writing at least three papers a week for the past.... while.

Um, if it's really how you said it is, I think the idea of anyone besides our govt's (state and federal) running any of our ports is not a good idea, unless it's actually located in a different country, so long as the country is a historically-known ally.

So, I don't mind if Horatio answers, personally. He seems to know enough to write intelligent politically-topicked answers and overall... like his writing style, too. (How often do you actually see someone writing the phrase "sublime to ridiculous" in a post? ROCK ON, DUDE!)

Why should I mess up a good thing?

My compliments to His Majesty,
Spin-and-Fact-Chef Horatio,

The Internationalist

PS. Why did I reply if I really didn't say anything? You asked me to.
A: Dear First Tenor,

The internationalist leaves me with no choice but to contribute.

Personally, I think there is WAY too much hype over this deal. Politicians on both sides of the aisle, including the less-than-honorable junior senator from New York, have jumped on this silly company acquisition.

Ok... for those of you who haven't been following the news recently, the large seaport management firm "Dubai Ports World" received an OK from stockholders to purchase the British company "Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Co." for about 6.8 billion dollars.

Why does this matter? Because Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Co. manages and operates ports in the United States... six ports in fact: New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, New Orleans, Miami and Philadelphia. The deal would put Dubai Ports World in charge of major shipping operations at those sea ports. Because ports are sensitive points of entry, the United States Government is required to investigate and approve the security plans of new companies seeking to operate such ports.

From everything I have read, Dubai Ports World cooperated fully with the government organizations charged with that investigation and approval process.
Under the process conducted by the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States (CFIUS), officials carefully reviewed the national security issues raised by the transaction and its effect on our national security. Twelve Federal agencies and the government's counterterrorism experts closely and carefully reviewed the transaction to make certain it posed no threat to national security. (reference emphasis added)

Dubai Ports World waded carefully through the bureaucratic quagmire that is the US Government approval process. And, recently, the administration approved Dubai Ports World's bid to acquire the Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Co.

Sounds like your basic bureaucratic approval process, right? So... what happened? Politics happened. Thinking more about November 2006 than anything else, a few choice Governors and Members of Congress basically threw a hissy fit. Talk about politics turning on its head... Bill Frist is siding with Hillary Clinton and Jimmy Carter has expressed his approval of President Bush's move. Woah! This is the weirdest Tag-Team match I've ever seen.

Anyways. Senator Frist has threatened to pass legislation to block the approval and acquisition process. Bush came out, said that was a stupid idea and threatened to veto. I'm sure I sound like a broken record on this one... but I'm gonna side with Bush on this one.

What is the problem? What are these senators complaining about so loudly?
1) Dubai Ports World is a partially state-owned operation in the United Arab Emirates.
2) Some of the 9/11 hijackers did their banking, lived temporarily, or sent packages through the United Arab Emirates.
3) Obviously the knee-jerk assumptions of politicians and press know more about a company's security plans than the various government organizations who wholeheartedly approved this acquisition.

Anyways, am I rambling? Have I lost anybody yet? I'm sorry, but I think background is important.

So, what did everybody learn in Dr. Christensen's PLSC 200 class? Anyone? Anyone? YES... we learned that CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION.

Let me put it this way:
1) Dubai Ports World operates ports ALL OVER THE WORLD... in places like Dubai, Germany, Shanghai, Djibouti... oh yeah... and HONG KONG. Obviously they do a pretty decent job (especially since they seem to have $6.8 billion dollars to go around acquiring other large companies)

2) The United Arab Emirates is a growing economic powerhouse and a significant ALLY in the War on Terror. I will have to strongly disagree with your characterization of the UAE as a "government known to abide and associate with Al Qaeda." We need to open our eyes people. All Arab countries are not created equal. Now, I would be concerned if the government of Yemen or Syria or Iran was seeking to take over our ports. But, the UAE is a cooperative, or if not, a friendly government to the United States.

3) The only real evidence anybody has against the UAE is that a few 9/11 terrorists were UAE Citizens, and they did some banking there. But, if that is our standard of judgement, why in the world did we allow a British company to run our ports? The infamous attempted Shoe Bomber was a Brit... and we know that terrorists have done business there. As I said above... correlation is not causation. We should not punish a government or a company for the actions of a few citizens (and, we shouldn't really do the opposite either, but I can see more justification for that).

4) The primary tasks of inspecting incoming cargo still fall upon the US Customs Administration. Dubai Ports World will take over none of the National Security aspects of running the port. That is still our government's job. They need only prove that they will obey the rules and regulations of the United States when hiring workers for sensitive positions... just like every other company.

President Bush put it this way:

If there was any chance that this transaction would jeopardize the security of the United States, it would not go forward. The company has been cooperative with the United States government. The company will not manage port security. The security of our ports will continue to be managed by the Coast Guard and Customs. The company is from a country that has been cooperative in the war on terror, been an ally in the war on terror. The company operates ports in different countries around the world, ports from which cargo has been sent to the United States on a regular basis. (February 21, 2006)

In summary, I agree with Bush and the Arab World on this one. The adverse reaction to this deal is nothing but Islamophobia. It is a frantic attempt to pander to the uninformed public through false stereotypes. Domestically, it is a silly attempt to discredit President Bush in the area where he is strongest. And, as you can likely tell, it all makes me mad!

Dubai Ports World should be subject to the same scrutiny and security precautions as any other port management company. But, we should not discriminate against the company just because it is from a country that speaks Arabic. C'mon people... put your thinkin' caps on!

Now, we could have a long debate over whether foreign companies should be managing our domestic ports. If we want to ban foreign countries from operating... let's do it. That will shut down all but the state-managed ports in the USA... basically shutting down both coasts to international shipping. You think foreign products are expensive now? If that is our priority, let us be consistent... all or nuthin'!

The deal between Dubai Ports World and that British company with a long silly name should go forward under the laws of the United States. If the DOC, DOD, CIA, and the rest of the 12 agencies said that Dubai Ports World is compliant... then what is holding us up??

Overall, if Frist follows through with his Hissy Fit... I think Bush should follow through with his veto. I think Bush is in the right on this one (see statements here and here). Dubai Ports World has every right to bid and invest in the United States if they are willing to play by the rules. I hope we can get over this soon and continue a strong economic and strategic relationship with the United Arab Emirates. Plus... I'm all excited to go skiing.

That is all.

Horatio the Pragmatist
A: Dear First Tenor-

I'm more troubled that several democrats in congress that opposed racial/ethnic "profiling" now seem to be embracing it. There is honor in principle, (even when I disagree with the opinion,) but there is no honor in such vacillation.

-The Franchise
Question #23303 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If a chicken had lips could it whistle?

Would you like fries with that?

If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?

How do you cite an internet source?

- Just curious (but really, I need the last one)

A: Dear Just curious,
A chicken could not whistle. Chickens are extremely unintelligent.

I would only like fries if they are waffle-fries.

I would not eat myself, regardless of what I was made of.

There are a variety of citation styles, and I cannot answer your question without knowing which style format you are using. You have to help me help you. If you are using APA, this site. shows you how to cite electronic and Web sources. This site has information on how to use the Chicago citation style, and this site does likewise for MLA. Advice for how to cite with Turabian, which is a variation of Chicago style, can be found here. None of these online resources is a good substitution for actually having and knowing the citation manual, but in your apparent current state of preparation, it is better than nothing.

- de novo -
Question #23299 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So what makes you do what you do? Why do you go through all the trouble of researching and answering people's questions?

- just onedering

A: Dear Oneder,


That is all.

A: Dear one,

I wonder that myself often times. I'll be sitting here researching a question for free for the benefit of someone I've never met (and in all likelihood, will never meet). Some might call that altruism, but knowing me, it's probably closer to insanity.

Right now, however, I have fifteen minutes until I need to go to work. I need something to fill up those fifteen minutes, and answering a question or two seems to fit the bill perfectly. (That, and I haven't any emails to respond to. Normally I'd do that.)

- Optimistic.
A: Dear One,

We answer because you keep asking questions. :-)

A: Dear "Onedering":

The hot guys. The great parties. The yummy food. The funny moments. The ability to say anything while being anonymous.

Hooray! The board is fun!

A: Dear Wonderer,

I just want to be loved or at the very least not hated. That or it's a pleasant break from Organic Chemistry.

-- Brutus
A: My Dearest Only Onedering,

The pay is better than my old job.

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
A: Dear Horatio beat me to the joke,

For me, I think it's curiosity. I've always been the kind of person who would run to a dictionary or an encyclopedia (and now Google) when I had a question. My Board research is just an extension of that -- finding answers to things that I wonder about. Also, I've always liked being helpful, and if I happen to have more information about Russian grammar or BYU scholarships, I'm happy to take the time to explain.

Plus, the people I've met through the Board, both readers and writers, are just awesome. I miss you guys.

- Katya
A: Dear just onedering,

I like to prove just how much I really DO know.

Question #23298 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Last night I took a risk and ate some yogurt that expired over 2 months ago. It looked fine when I opened it and I think it tasted fine. I haven't gotten sick yet... is it really bad for you to eat yogurt that is that old? Isn't it just bacteria that is already "expired" anyway??

-Yogurt Lover

A: Dear YL,

The whole point of yogurt is the fermantation... that's where you get the bacteria. Expired by only two months (okay, sounds gross), but in other circumstances I've had some that old, and it was fine, too. Mine just got a little tarter as there was more fermentation.

So, no worries. You will survive. Just keep a closer eye on your fridge for next time.

Lady Last Line,
Not advocating eating expired food as a normal
course of like

PS. I miss having the "The's" covered, and plan to return back to being The Last Line. If anyone wonders about my identity-gender again, Optimistic may save my honor yet again. In the meantime, I don't mind being without gender in my replies. Also, though, I reserve the right to still write LLL and you all have this post to reference that they mean the same thing now. and yes, it may be confusing, but too bad.

LLL (THE Last Line)
A: Dear Yogurt Lover,


Ok. Granted, I'm not a fan of yogurt in general, expired or not, but that's sick. Now I understand that it's bacteria all along and whatnot and maybe you're not going to get sick but I would sooner starve than eat that. I don't know why you'd even want to try that.


- Lavish
A: Dear Brave,

All I have to say is that you must be a guy to try yogurt that expired. If are a woman among women.

A: Dear YL,

Expired dairy is generally not a good idea because of how you might react to it, not necessarily because it will infect you with anything. If you didn't experience tummy weirdness right away, you're probably OK.

-NOT a doctor
Question #23297 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am a big fan and a daily reader of your board. I have a confusion that I would like to get cleared up. In one recent post I thought I remembered a writer saying that the writers' aliases get changed every week. As in, Horatio may become Faithful or something like that. That seems like an EXTREMELY safe (and maybe too safe) system for making sure no one knows who writes what.

But then, some people who write questions OFTEN say how much they love particular writers, and sometimes people want to be part of a fan club for a particular writer. Others write in specifically to one writer for their specified feedback on a question.

One of these things is not like the other. Are writers' names permanent?

- derrific this week, maybe someone else next week

A: Dear Derrific,

How long a writer uses her same nym is up to the writer. Some of us switch frequently. Some of us don't switch at all. I can't be bothered with petty details like which name my writing double uses and how often.

It would be an affront if someone wrote under my name. But then, I doubt that any of the writers could measure up to my standards.

A: Dear whoever you are 100 hours from now,

Like Veruca said, most writers have a primary name. But, they also have names that they use when they want to address a specific subject or discuss a more sensitive matter.

Currently, the 15 most prolific writers are:
Katya the Physics Chick 991
Horatio 905
la bamba 890
A. A. Melyngoch 638
Pa Grape 581
Optimistic 570
The Franchise 526
Uffish Thought 459
Hephaestus 413
Nike 386
CGNU Grad 383
Ambrosia 376
Petra 374
Novel Concept 312
Mojoschmoe 273

In that list there are two names that are used by the same person. Otherwise, our most active writers are all unique people.

But, like I said, every once in a while we go for a different identity. Hey... we're all anonymous... we just take it to the next level.

Most writer names are permanent... because it is tradition that writers keep the same nym during their entire tenure. But, we all have alternate secret identities... just like some of us have alternate personalities.

That is all.

Horatio... or is it?
A: Dear Derrific & Horatio,

While I won't discuss the validity of the answer, I will tell you that you are remembering what you read correctly. See my answer to Board Question #22926.

And I'm "prolific" too. Just newer.

- Lavish

A: Dear Derr,

An interesting note on our aliases, there have been several that were used by multiple writers all at the same time.

A: Dear Currently Derr (or Curr Derr),

You can usually count on us being the same people. I'm Nike, Katya is Katya and Horatio is Horatio most of the time. Go ahead and swear your allegiance to any fan club you like. ;-)

A: Dear Derr:

This is how I keep it all straight because I'm as confused as you are. Say you have 10 writers for the board. Some of those writers have 2, 3, 4, 67, 589 different nyms, but everyone has at least 1 "main" one. So, although there are only 10 writers, there are lots of nyms.

I really can't keep up with having twelve personalities, so I only write under Mojoschmoe unless I'm making Kev-Head write an answer. But, that attitude doesn't always work for every writer. Writers are a weird species like that.

Hooray for the Board!

Mojoschmoe, the one and only Mojoschmoe, lover of nutrition questions, spunky yet subdued, and too dazed and confused to have more than one nym.
Question #23296 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If I wanted to join BYU's Outdoor club, how can I get that started?

- Rock Climbing Fanatic

A: Dear Fan,

The same way you join any club. Find out where they meet and when and go. Try this page: BYU Outdoors Club. You'll see contact information for the president and adviser, when they meet and where and what they do.

Question #23294 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear all writers for the 100 Hour Board,

Birthdays are some of the greatest days of the year. Some people like to celebrate theirs and others don't. If it were your bithday and you could have anything you wanted for that day, what would each of you like to have? I'd love to hear both your realistic and unrealistic birthday wishes!

-Birthday Girl

A: Dear Birthday Girl,

I want another pony.

A: Dear Birthday Girl,

All I wanted for my most recent birthday was to have a party with a lot of friends there. In the past, I've waited for friends to throw a party for me and have always been disappointed. This year, I decided to forgo all of that and throw a party for myself. I had a ton of friends there and had a marvelous time. It was exactly what I wanted.

I had something else I wanted for my birthday, but as it turned out, that had to wait for a couple of weeks. I don't know that I can realistically count it as a birthday present, though, so I won't.

In retrospect, however, I think I could have done with another birthday cake.

- Optimistic.
A: Dear Girl,

You know that whole theory about how if you want a kitten you should start by asking for a pony? I believe in that theory.

My parents can attest to the fact that when I was in middle school and high school I absolutely thought I'd die if I didn't have a huge party with my 500 closest friends. And somehow they always managed to talk me down to about 30-50 friends. Sure enough, I didn't end up dying.

It's funny because, now I love making a big deal out of other peoples' birthdays but I hate when people make a big deal out of mine. I've gotten more realistic and would prefer to spend my birthday with a few people I'm the closest too than 500 people that I barely know. Speaking of which, my birthday is coming up...

- Lavish

P.S. On the topic of birthdays... One time for my roommate's birthday we gave her 25 kisses from 25 guys. Granted most of them were kisses on the cheek but it was still funny.
A: Dear BG,

Well, if we're talking really extravagant, a trip to Rome and Milan in the springtime (which is when my birthday is) complete with soothing, gentle gondola rides, mouth-watering Italian food, sight-seeing, a fragrant flower in my hair and Mr. Nike with me every step of the way would be rather perfect. I wouldn't mind hearing "Happy Birthday" in Italian one little bit.

On a smaller scale, I'm with Lavish. I tend to be something of an outgoing person, but when it comes to my own birthday, I get really uncomfortable if a lot of people make a big deal of it. I prefer to spend my birthdays with just my handsome prince (or with him and my family, if possible) with a quiet dinner, maybe a couple of presents, and perhaps an ice cream cake. (Ooohhh...Nike is hungry...) A big party might be fun, but I think I'd still choose the peaceful evening in Italy or the dinner and ice cream cake over a loud soiree.

If it's your birthday now, happy birthday to you! Birthdays are the best.

A: Dear BG,

I agree with you, and um...

For my birthday, unrealistic? New car, and the same wish I've had since I was a child and will not tell you right now! (Hey, when it comes true, I'm posting it for the world. Till then, hehehe. Won't you wonder!?)

Realistic? Um, ask me again in six-seven months. I should be in NYC or on the way back to Provo, so I have no idea.

Last year, it was a cake from the sister missionaries as we worked on cleaning out my house after a death in the family. That, and either pizza or subs, my treat. Oh yeah, and a week before, dinner with a galpal.

Year before that, it was... party that turned into a date with my now-ex-boyfriend-who's-engaged-to-someone-else, and then before that?

Nada. Forgotten on mish.

Before that? 11 letters, cake, and presents... I was a greenie and had an amazing trainer...

Before that? Um, Nada. Sorta family party, but I don't remember, really. Maybe a dance, but again... can't remember.

Before that? Um, 2000? Family party.

1999, family party and surpise party accompanied by first date with first boyfriend.

1998, Assuming it was a family party, but honestly can't remember. Most birthdays were family parties for most years in a row: hoping that this one is productive and happy, but not expecting much at my age.

The Last Line
Question #23291 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's your favorite sentence you've ever said/written?

- Chris

A: Dear Mr. Columbus,

Either "I'm getting baptized" or "I'm marrying the most amazing man in the world."

A: Dear Nike:


Dear Chris:

Probably my favorite sentence of the moment I've said is, "Life isn't easy, but at least I have my feet so I can dance, my tongue so I can taste food and my arms so I can embrace those I love."

A: Dear Chris,

"Hooray for idiots!!!"

--not an idiot
A: Dear Chris,

At the time it was, "She's going to live!"
Two days later, though she died.

Otherwise, many of my best lines are things I can't remember later.

Oh wait... another one, this time to someone who did live: "You're not dead yet!"

Or "Carol Ann Eppendorf Absher is getting BAPTIZED!"

Or, "Oh my gosh!(happy)" in response to two different friends telling me they were going on missions, or "I'm going to RUSSIA?!"
or "Uh, Mom, I'm going to LA."

Most memorable things said made either a huge difference in my life or the lives of people I love.

Oh wait- "I love you." Scariest and best three words of the English language.

The Flirt, friend to LLL
A: Dear Chris,

"What am I, Hong Kong?" (Makes more sense in context.)

- Katya
A: Dear Chris,

I can think of several marvelous puns.

First, in a conversation that went like this:

Me: Tom Waits is in this? I love Tom Waits?
Friend: Tom Waits for who?
Me: No man.

(Ha! Tom Waits for no man! Ha!)

Second, after sight singing in AP Music Theory, where the class was hideously flat as we tried to hit the fifth note of the scale:

"Oh, what a pity. We were sol close and yet sol fa."

(Ha! Solfege jokes! Ha!)

I love puns.

-Petra the paragrammatist

Question #23288 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why does cold weather make your nose runny? Well, not just "your" nose. Everyone's.

- Chris

A: Dear Chris,

See Board Question #3328 and Board Question #8125. (And also Board Question #1162 and Board Question #9130, on somewhat related topics.)

- Katya
Question #23287 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, I've been looking for the answer to this for a while. Are the White Stripes married, or siblings?

- Either way they're awesome

A: Dear either way,

Well, that is the question now, isn't it? For those of you unfamiliar with the saga of the White Stripes, Jack and Meg White have been purposefully vague as to their relation, telling the media different stories at different times. At points they have announced themselves as brother and sister, and at other points they have announced that they were married. As it turns out, they were once married, but are currently divorced. Their divorce papers have actually been published online; should you be so inclined, you can view them here.

I think the pertinent question, however, is rather "what made them think that pretending to be brother and sister when they were married was a good idea?" As to that, your guess is as good as mine.

- Optimistic.
Question #23285 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear Pa Grape (and anyone else who knows),
Is it true that Joseph and Hyrum removed their temple garments prior to their martyrdom?
The Engineer

A: Dear The Engineer,

The nature of the covenants made in the temple when receiving the garment would lead me to say that this rumor is false. However, I checked with Professor Susan Black with the Religion Department who is largely recognized as an expert on Joseph Smith. She confirmed what I believed by saying that there is no evidence that they removed their garments prior to their martyrdom.

-Pa Grape
Question #23283 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

The binding on one of my textbooks has cracked and now my book is falling apart. Is there a place around Provo that does spiral binding? I my need my book in one piece! Thanks,

- Minor Detail

A: Dear Minor,

Cougar Creations in the bottom of the Wilk. I've had them do lots of my books, even before the binding broke. It's cheap, too.

Question #23279 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

how many syllabols are in the book of mormon? not counting title page and footnotes and index and dictionary and chapter headings. just the plain text.

- syllobus the wallrus

A: Dear walrus,

This is a question that we will not answer, for a couple of reasons.

1. We don't answer labor-intensive "how many _____ are there" questions any more.

2. It's not always clear how many syllables are in a word.

To give an example, most English speakers would say that the word "fire" consists of one syllable and the word "higher" has two syllables. But the word "hire," which ought to have one syllable like "fire," is a homophone of "higher" in many dialects (including mine). Dipthongs make things tricky. And that's just the beginning.

You, however, are welcome to come up with your own conclusions about syllables, and do the counting yourself. And we'd be more than happy to hear the results.

- Katya
Question #23278 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

i really want to live in georgia when i 'grow up'. i dont know why, i just do. i dont really want to be too close to the coast but i would love to visit it often. and i would like living below atlanta. a city not to crowed but not too old fasion- i mean up to date with good schooling and job opprotunities.- preferably in the doctor, lawyer, psychiatrist, or teacher. know any good towns/cities.

- peach

ps. that brings up another question. do you put a space after a '/' like is it boy/girl or boy/ girl?

A: Dear Peach,

My personal recommendation would be Americus, Georgia. It is a small, small town about two and a half hours south of Atlanta, an hour away from the coast, and forty-five minutes from the nearest mall. The only thing that could make it better is if it were in Ohio. I sure hope this helps. Please don't hate me.

-- Brutus (whose best friend from high school lives in Americus and likes it well enough.)
A: Dear peach,

I have to recommend Sperling's best places website. They have information on cities all over the U.S., including almost 600 cities and towns in Georgia. The website will allow you to view and compare population density, education, unemployment levels and general population statistics. (If you have trouble registering, see the hints in Board Question #19559.)

No space after the slash.

- Katya
Question #23274 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear Horatio,

Are you still single?

That is all.

A: Dear ENFP,

Yes. As of February 21, 2006 at 3:25 PM MT, I am single. And, despite the detailed time stamp, I have no expectation that said status will change significantly in the next... say... 72 hours.

So... I'm single... but, with a fan club! So, I ain't bitter yet. :-)

That is all.

Question #23273 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Will I be able to watch Star Wars in heaven? If so, will the prequals still suck, or be will they be in perfect form too? (this was a legitimate concern for me about 6 years ago, but now I'm just curious) I mean, the guards placed at the gates of Eden had fire swords(Genesis 3:24), and I HAVE had multiple priesthood lessons in which Yoda was quoted. What do you think?

- Star Wars Kid... (not THAT one!)

A: Dear SWK,

The following is not doctrine and should not be taken as such:

When you get to heaven, you will be put to work, and if all you do on that seventh day of rest is watch Star Wars episodes, might be a bit extreme. If, however, you receive a true fullness of joy from the endeavor, then I see nothing wrong with it. Watching Star Wars on the heavenly day of rest may be a bit frivolous, but agency still works in heaven just as it does on earth. Still, I think they can do a LOT better than DVD's, and um, their light sabers are light leagues ahead of ILM's.

As for Yoda, if he has something of good report or praiseworthy to say, why not quote the dude?

Just a few thoughts from
The Force (NOT midi-chlorian based life form)
Question #23272 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Ok, so there is the Tomassito's in the Cannon Center. They sell pizza and breadsticks. Then there is the Tomassito's in the Cougareat. They sell a whole bunch of completely different stuff, and no pizza. The only thing that seems similar about the two is that they both have the same "Tomassito's: Italian Cafe" logo. So I reluctantly assume they are related. Is Tomassito's a chain or just a BYU campus thing? AND (supposing they are a chain and are related) are there any other chains that have a completely different menu at different locations? Does anyone else think this is weird? (ex. I have never seen a Pizza Hut, or something like it, selling hamburgers) Oh, and Luigi, the Tomassito's mascot, creeps me out.

-just your average Joe

A: Dear Justin,

Tomassito's is a nation-wide chain. I found Tomassito's locations not only at BYU, but at BYU-I, Iowa State, Oregon State, Montana State, and University of Nebraska-Omaha. According to this site, Tomassito's is "a branded pizza/pasta station concept developed by the National Association of College & University Food Services (NACUFS)." I found places that just offered pizza, like at the Cannon Center, but most places had both pizza and pasta. I didn't find another university that had two different Tomassito's selling different menus. It is a little strange, but I wouldn't call calzones and pasta and breadsticks (what they serve at the Tomassitos in the Cougareat) "completely different" from pizza and breadsticks. It's all Italian food, living up to its name of an Italian cafe.

I don't know of other fast food chains that have different menus at different places, but it's kind of like how Wal-mart and Target have regular stores, and then they have Super stores. OK, not that similar, but anyway. Oh, and though Tomassito's mascot may be creepy, their chicken and broccoli is pretty good for the price.

Wilhelmina Wafflewitz
Question #23271 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I was looking at this Crest Vivid Night toothpaste (or something like that) that is supposed to whiten your teeth during the night. Is it worth buying or will the usual stuff work?


A: Dear Jack,

I haven't personally tried it, but a friend did and said it didn't work...yet. I would stay away from "enhancer" products that "help" with endgoals...I would stick to white strips or bleaching procedures.

-la bamba
Question #23270 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

I've heard that Liberty Square has had some serious, ongoing, honor code violation problems. Is there any validity to this? Is this a thing of the past, or is this really an ongoing problem?

- Dee

A: Dear Dee,

I don't know if you'd say "serious, ongoing", but I'm sure that just like everywhere else on campus they have issues here and there. When I lived there, we had some guys below us of ill-repute who we suspected smoked weed amongst other things, and I do have to say that I was disappointed in the managment's response. Apparently it's not that easy to get someone evicted, even with those kind of problems. But I also remember honor code violations in the dorms my freshman other words, everyone has problems, but in my experience (after living at LSquare for a year and having friends who still live there) and knowing people from various buildings, I didn't hear of any "serious, ongoing" violations. I hope this helps.

- Xanadu
A: Dear Dee,

It might just be that because Liberty Square is HUGE, you hear more about incidents than somewhere relative small. It very well might be that Liberty Square has twice as many incidents, but they may also have twice as many people.

-la bamba
Question #23268 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,
I'm sticking around Provo for the summer and I'm having a bit of problem. I would like to save as much money as possible. But I know that BYU student workers get an extra tax for the summer when they don't go to school. My question: what combination of school and work would result in the most money saved, assuming I have no scholarship and I earn $8.00 an hour?
- what to do, what to do


The best combination that you would end up saving the most money would be not going to school and working at Costco for $12/hr. If you have no alternative, then going to school for a minimum credit load and the heaviest amount of work you can deal with, preferably at the Bookstore or Library, or in OIT or as an RA, or TA, or secretary, or at the MTC, all of which seem to pay the most of all the jobs on-campus, if you are limited to that. However, trying to get earning potential and staying on campus are not mutually-happy factors. So, if you can, get to, or any place that's off campus if you can, and only do school part-time.

Seeing as I don't know your actual financial conditions, nor your transportation accessibility, this is the best I can do at this point.

Question #23267 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Regarding Board Question #23120. During my time at BYU I knew of at least 2 people (one male and one female) who had their ecclesiastical endorsements revoked for breaking the law of chastity. In both cases each person did not think their acts were of a sinful nature and had no intention of confessing to their bishop. However in both cases their respective love interests felt differently. They each confessed to their bishops. Their bishops in turn forced them to give up the names of their cohorts (the 2 people I knew). In one case the man was threatened with disfellowhip if he did not give up the name of the girl he was with. In the other case the girl was heavily pressured to give up the name of the guy she was with. The bishops then took that information and pursued the other person for a confession. These 2 people were subsequently kicked out of BYU. My question is: Doesn't this go against free agency? Shouldn't it have been left up to the individual to decide if they needed to confess? Isn't' this somewhat like 1984? And how often do you think this happens?

-Neither of these people are me........seriously....

A: Dear Neither-

No. It was left up to them, and they decided to disobey the covenants they had made instead of making a genuine attempt to repent. If they felt that their actions were not sins, then not being bound to such covenants is the only course of action that would show respect for themselves and the Church. And it happens a lot.

-The Franchise
Question #23266 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am planning to go home to where my family lives in Romania for the Spring and Summer terms. My question is, can I still take an online class for either of those terms while I am overseas? It seems logical that I should be able to, but I wanted to make sure since I've never taken an online class before. Thanks so much!

- Foriegn Native

A: Dear Foreign Native,

You betcha!! As long as you pay for said class and have internet access you can take an independent study class whenever you want. I sure hope this helps. Please don't hate me.

-- Brutus (who is currently taking not one, but two internet classes in addition to his normal workload.)
Question #23262 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Sometimes it's a bit fun to go through my junk mail. What!? I've won a 52" plasma TV?! Whoa! When I open them up though, they often times just contain some unconnected words, not even forming half sentences. What's up with this? What is the point of sending junk mail if they aren't trying to sell you a product or even open virus infected attachments? Is there something I'm missing here?

- the manila folder

A: Dear I just turned in a massive paper in you... hope you did't get cut,

Sometimes I believe that the point of junk mail is simple to cause a small degree of annoyance, attributing to the test of life. This attributes to the amunt of money spent on minor headache medication. Notice how much of junk mail is about medicine anyway. After a while, they always get their money back.

Here's to all the conspiracy theorists and the time it takes to write them,

Lady Last Line
Doing her best to promote at least an interesting version of the truth. No lies allowed. Strange ideas, yes. Lies? Never.
A: Dear I didn't think manila folders could!,

Well, if we aren't talking nasty spam here, the point of all advertising is to get your name and product out there. If you can get someone to read your billboard, watch your commercial or, yes, even read your spam and they remember your name, you are that much closer to making a sale. And despite all the stories about scams from spam, there are still people who believe that yes, they've actually won a 52" plasma-screen TV absolutely free!!!!!!!!!! (Exclamation points courtesy of junk mail.)

As for the half-formed sentences and atrocious grammar and spelling...well, that's just stupid. It really doesn't take that long to pull out a dictionary and a style guide and check your writing over. I don't have an explanation for that one.

So, in conclusion, recycle your junk mail (no need to make spam go to complete waste) and avoid anything with multiple exclamation points.

posted on 08/05/2014 11:12 p.m.
Dear Old Question <br><br>The seemingly random and disconnected words in some email is there to confuse spam filters. It is called <a href="http://">Word Salad</a><br><br>The 74,000 hour board<br><br><br><br><br>
Question #23261 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are some good brands of Ice Skates? I've looked at Riedell, but are there some that are better? Sports Authority and Dicks don't really have much. Are CCM skates good?

- Michelle Kwan

A: Dear Ms. Kwan,

First I'm going to make some assumptions. I'm going to assume because of your pseudonym that you're interested in purchasing figure skates rather than hockey skates. In addition, because of the nature of the question, I going to assume you're somewhat of a novice to skating. With those assumptions, pre-assembled skates are perfect for beginners and will allow you to learn basic skating skills and techniques. You'll want a moderately stiff boot that gives your feet and ankles support but is flexible enough to break in. Make sure to look at the tongue of the boot for stiffness and padding which will protect you from injury. Make sure to try several different pairs on to find one that you really feel comfortable in. Be open to trying different brands. You may find that you like a different kind better.

If you want a basic ice skate, go with a major brand. Reidell seems to be a pretty good choice and comes with blades already attached. Jackson Skate Co. is also good. CCM is mostly known as a hockey company and in my opinion is a little cheaper when it comes to figure skates but for a beginner they'll work just fine.

You may want to call a local ice arena and get their recommendations. Most, if not all, ice arenas have a pro shop. The people there will be able to give you advice and might even sell the skates you're looking for. Also try this site for more advice.

Once you get into more professional skates the boot and the blade are usually sold separately for a more custom skate. Mine are the "Super Teri Deluxe" (Model 550) boot from SP Teri with the Professional Model 9 ¾ blade. If you're starting to think that I must be an amazing skater with some serious skills... well... actually, it's fine. Keep thinking it.

Oh, and in the event that you're actually looking to buy hockey skates, check out this site for more tips.

- Lavish
Question #23260 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What do we want?

- Women

A: Dear the fairer sex, all of you, be loved?

- Optimistic.
A: Dear Women,

Chocolate, of course. If any of the rest of you dissent, you can send yours my way.

-Your Mom
A: My Dearest Representative of the Other Sex,

You all want to be happy. This entails having someone to listen to you, and give reassurance. Also you want material things like perfume, clothes, chocolate, etc. But more than all, the thing that women want, is to be wanted.

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
A: Dear I'm one of you,

Optimistic is superbly right.
REV. is mainly right.
My thoughts?

Understanding and respect our opinions.

That, and to reference a previous Board question,
Good kissers! *smiles*

Chocolate I can live without. Kissing? Um... *shakes head* Someday I will find the perfect man and the perfect kiss. Till then, I refuse to kiss frogs, only princes who know they're princes and have the confidence and guts and all the good stuff to back it up!

Happy February,

LLL who seems to have kissing on the brain right now. Hmm. Hehehe.
A: Dear Women,

Whatever keeps me in your arms.

-Christina Aguilera
A: Dear Women et al:

Ice cream. Chocolate. French Fries. Affection.


A: Dear Lady,

Yes...once again, Optimistic is right. (Seriously, man, I'm becoming increasingly impressed with your brain.) It's true: women want to be loved. It's in our nature - we give love not only because we innately want to love and care for others, but because we subconsciously (or consciously) want to be loved ourselves. Although no one should need another person to make them happy (happiness shouldn't depend on someone else, unless it's Christ), I've gotta say that Mr. Nike, who is very loving, definitely fills my need of being loved.

But seriously...if I couldn't have that, I think I would settle for my degree RIGHT NOW and a nap for a year. Or two.

Or maybe a trip to Disneyland. I'd bet a ride on Splash Mountain would wash the midterm mumps away. :-)

Question #23238 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I went to EFY a few years ago where we learned a line dance to the song "Move It Like This" by the Baha Men. It was a pretty cool line dance but I forgot most of it and none of my friends can remember it either. How does it go?

Wanting To Get My Groove On

A: Dear Wanting to get their GROOVE:

This was by far the most fun I've ever had in getting an answer for this board. My husband and his friends are the DJs for the EFY dances, and so one of my afternoons basically consisted of three of them getting together in my living room, rocking out to the Baha Men and dancing the steps out. Hilarious. Here's the dance you're looking for, and it's pretty intense. I hope you understand what they're saying and what I'm typing:

Cross your left leg over your right, hop and switch legs, shake your booty, then hop and clap. (this goes to You can move it like this, I can shake like that). Repeat this two times, three times total. Then pump your right arm up in the air while kicking your right leg to the side four times touch your knees, turn to the back (arms up), touch your knees, turn to the front (arms up). Jumprope once on the right, then on the left, then on the right twice. Go back on your right leg, forward on the left, back on the right, forward on your left, then slide towards the back and clap above your head. You then have eight seconds to "shake your groove thang." Then, step to the right while making a muscle move with your arms, close your arms and face the back, open your arms then turn to the front while closing your arms (in a open close, open close fashion). Body roll and clap. "Shrek" side to side (which to me looks like a step touch step touch to the right, then the left with your arms in a Michael Jackson "Thriller" fashion). Touch your knees and move them right left, lift your right leg (and say whoo), left right lift your left leg, right left lift your right leg, left right lift your left leg. Make sure you "whoo" each time. Then jump and punch towards the ground with your left then your right then your left then your right arms. Stand still and flick your wrist six times, pull your arm like a choo-choo on seven, then you place your arms out, say WHOAAAA and turn 90 degrees to your left. Start over.

If this isn't very readable I'm sorry. We're really having too great of a time. But email me and I'll see if I can hook you up with private lessons from some of the EFY counselors.

Hooray for random rock-out sessions to the Baha-men!

Question #23204 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I love drinking water, and I usually drink more than the recommended 64 ounces a day. Aside from keeping me alive, what benefits do I receive from drinking water?

- Guzzler

A: Dear Guzzler:

Well, according to my nutrition books, a lot. Water in your body helps you regulate your temperature, remove waste, form lubricants in your joints, forms saliva and bile. These are just some of the functions of water, but these functions can be received on a low water diet as well as a high water diet. There is such a thing as getting too much water, and it happens when you don't have enough salt/potassium in your body to balance out the water intake. When excessive water overwhelms the kidneys, it can lead to headache, blurred vision, cramps, convulsions, and maybe death. Now, do I think you're drinking too much water? No. However, I would recommend drinking a gatorade every now and then to restore your electrolytes--especially if you're exercising a lot.

Hooray for frequent bathroom breaks.

Question #23194 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you know where I could get copies of old underground newspapers that have circulated at BYU (besides the Firearm)?

- Steve Frist

A: Dear Steve,

Unfortunately, no. "Underground" publications by their nature tend not to be too well archived. Sorry, but unless you can find someone who has them, you are probably out of luck.

Question #23190 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

So, I'm a freshman preemie whose birthday is in June; however, I'll be turning 18 this June instead of 19, owing to the fact that I skipped a grade quite a few years back. My question: how could I petition to be allowed to serve a mission at 18 rather than 19? I look around at my friends, all of whom are leaving this year sometime, and I don't see any difference in maturity or understanding of the gospel between them and myself. No one has ever divined my age before I've divulged it, and for all some people know I could be 19 already. I know mission presidents' and general authorities' children can leave early sometimes - are there any other exceptions? I'm raring to go, and there doesn't seem to be much to keep me here for another year. All I know is that I'll be rather lonely next year if I do have to stay another two semesters (even the seeming plentitude of the opposite sex of my age is a sham - they'll all be dating RMs). So, if any of you know of a way to petition the missionary department, or know a story of someone in my circumstance, I'd be appreciative. Any other advice would be great, too! Thank you.

A: Dear Waiting to serve,

Sorry this has taken so long, but I have been unable to get in touch with the person I was referred to. Today I was put in touch with someone else but was still unable to get a thorough answer from church headquarters.

You are correct that in special circumstances, some young men are authorized to leave on missions at the age of 18. The most commonly referred to situation is children of someone who is currently serving as a mission president. However, I was unable to get an absolute answer that this is the only situation or what other situations are.

Why? Probably because they hate to say definitively that you can leave at 18 in situations X and Y but not Z. They suggested you sit down and discuss your concerns with your bishop and/or stake president. They can consider the situation and whether they feel it is appropriate that you leave early and pursue receiving a clearance through the area presidency or perhaps through church headquarters.

I am sorry I wasn't able to give you a better answer, but that is the best I was given.

-Pa Grape
Question #23189 posted on 02/27/2006 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Where can I watch the "turn your cell phones off" clip with Steve Martin from Pink Panther that they show during movie previews?

- P.P.

A: Dear P.P.,

I haven't been able to find it anywhere online. I even checked some BitTorrent search sites and couldn't find it. It looks like, for the time being, the only place you are able to see it is the theaters.