"When you get a little older, you'll see how easy it is to become lured by the female of the species." - 1960's Batman TV show
Question #25767 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

During the major thunderstorm I was thinking. If I was doing work on the computer from my USB key and the power went out or there was a major power surge or something, could that surge ruin everything that I had saved on the USB key, or would it all just be fine?

thecolorblack

A: Dear thecolorblack,

According to http://www.compukiss.com/populartopics/sportsoutdoorshtm/article597.htm, a computer's motherboard or modem are the first to go if there was a power surge. This is because both are connected to some sort of wire connection that the surge will travel across - a phone line for the modem or a wall outlet for the motherboard. Although if the surge is strong enough it could fry additional components such as your beloved USB drive.

Therefore if you are working on a laptop not plugged in, you and your USB key should be just fine. If this is not the case the best way to defend your USB drive is to have your computer plugged into a good surge protector. These can range from a $10-20 dollars all the way up into the hundreds. Most of them have a rating concerning the surge they can handle. Check out http://www.howstuffworks.com/surge-protector.htm for more information.

Now if you lost power while working on a document, hopefully you save often enough that you wouldn't lose much. But in the event that you forget to, Word and other applications typically have an auto save feature that allows you to recover your work in the event of a power failure.

Remember that USB drives do not require power in order to keep information. So if you save something and then lose power, it's still there.

Hope you enjoyed the storms...I know I did.

-branflakes
Question #25765 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Whenever I take my earrings out, my holes itch like mad! I've tried putting rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide on my earrings before putting them it, but it doesn't seem to help. I've also tried nickel free, sensitive, and sterling silver earrings and those don't seem to work either. And pure gold or silver earrings are out of my budget. Any suggestions and why does this happen??

- Painful -

A: Dear Painful,

It seems you have a slight allergy to some types of metal, a common affliction usually called "contact dermatitis." Allergic reactions are common in response to nickel and other metals used in earrings. Unfortunately, if your skin really does have this allergy, simply cleaning it isn't going to help; the minute you put earrings back on, the irritant will begin its work again.

My suggestions, then, are these:

1. You said that your holes itch when you take your earrings out. Don't take them out. (I'm reminded of an old joke here...)

2. Find a pair of earrings that won't cause the allergic reaction. You've clearly already tried this route, with less success. However, it could be that you haven't yet isolated the substance causing the reaction. Websites exist that sell earrings specially designed for those with allergic reactions; you can find one of them here. This particular company offers a 60-day money-back guarantee if their earrings irritate your ears. Plus, they're not too expensive. It's worth a shot, I'd say.

3. There are other products aimed at people like you, such as Reaction Block, which claims to provide a "hypoallergenic shield insulating your skin" to prevent an allergic reaction. Go for it, if you're feeling brave.

4. Don't wear earrings anymore. This is up to you to decide if it's worth the trouble. The first time she got her ears pierced, my mom had an allergic reaction--in her case, a rash--that spread all the way to her neck and chest. She simply took the earrings out. It might be Painful (ha! get it?), but it solved the problem.

I've always considered myself lucky that not a single one of my four ear piercings have caused me any problems--other than at the Testing Center, that is.

-Petra
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My recently baptized visiting teacher just went inactive, partly due to The DaVinci Code and a bunch of hooey she's read on the Internet (plus having her Mother state she would cut her out of her will probably aided and abetted the decision).
I was just looking for some of the stuff she had told me that she is accepting at face value as fact. Can you tell me anything that I could share with her to refute her so called facts? I've cut and pasted the quotes below from one of the sites that seems to state the questions she raised:
"The founders of both "faiths", the Mormons and JWs, were of the Illuminati bloodline. Joseph Smith, along with Hiram Smith and Brigham Young, were the key figures behind the creation of the Mormon religion. They were of the elite of the elite Illuminati bloodline, the Merovingian or "Holy Grail" line, and were all high degree Freemasons.The Mormon empire was funded into existence by the Rothschilds through their Kuhn, Loeb, bank which also funded the Russian Revolution and Adolf Hitler, and yet again B'nai Brith, the Rothschild intelligence arm and defamer of genuine researchers, was involved.The Mormons also use the bee symbol, a classic symbol of the Merovingian bloodline."

Madea



A: Dear Madea,

I found that article that you quoted in your question. I also continued to do some searching regarding the authenticity of its story. Before I start talking about any of that, I want to introduce another topic first.

Your visiting teacher did not go inactive because of these things that she read. She went inactive because she never did have a strong testimony in the first place. I read the above material, and then some and I did not go inactive. In these situations, a return to the basics is needed: reading the scriptures and praying. That is the only way a testimony is gained and maintained. Sharing information to rebut these accusations will not do anything. An invitation to nurture her testimony is needed!

Now, let me discuss this article. First, it is most likely that many of the members of the church can be traced back through the Illuminati bloodline. For all I know, I am a descendant of a murderer; we all come from different backgrounds. One portion of the accusation I do have something to go against it. It says: "The Mormon empire was funded into existence by the Rothschilds through their Kuhn, Loeb, bank which also funded the Russian Revolution and Adolf Hitler." I find this highly unlikely, especially when considering the financial troubles that the church faced during its early years. In fact, the church nearly faced bankruptcy during Lorenzo Snow's administration. It was at this point that the church really started implementing tithing.

In addition, the article states that Joseph Smith, along with the many other leaders, "were also Satanists and formed their 'church' as a front for satanic activity which very much still goes on today." You are member, are we performing Satanic activities? Would you feel the fruits of the Spirit during our church meetings? No, you would not.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend; it is sad to see this happen. Hopefully that she can find the necessity to return to the basics and re-establish her testimony.

Resilient
A: Dear Madea,

I agree with what Resilient said; if she doesn't have a testimony of the Restoration, no amount of reasoning will talk her out of any wild rumors. (And even if you satisfy her concerns on one point, there are plenty of anti-Mormon sources who can give her other reasons to doubt.)

If she's genuinely interested in Church history, I'd recommend Joseph Smith : Rough stone rolling as a good biography which honestly addresses a lot of rumors, myths and criticisms concerning Joseph Smith. I don't know of any specifically Mormon critiques of The Da Vinci code, but she could read a more general Christian critiques, such as The truth behind the Da Vinci code, Breaking the Da Vinci code, or The Da Vinci hoax: exposing the errors in the Da Vinci code.

- Katya
Question #25762 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I understand that there are two trails to the summit of Mount Timpanogos- the one up by Aspen Grove and Sundance, and then the Timpanookee Trail. I've hiked it twice and, since I was living up closer to the American Fork Canyon, I did Timpanookee both times and absolutely loved it, front and back. Have any of y'all hiked both and have a particular preference?

Also, right now there's still some snow on the face. How long should I wait, you think, before hiking up there?

-Ready To Go Again

A: Dear Ready to go again,

Timpanooke is a longer hike but it isn't as steep. Aspen Grove is steeper but has a lot more waterfalls. I think you should hike Aspen Grove at least once as there are some beautiful areas and the view is spectactular.

Oh, and yes you can go up, but I would wait another 2-3 weeks at least.

-Rafe
Question #25761 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board (and hopefully someone in touch with the British Asian scene),

I listen to BBC's Asian Network radio over the internet occasionally when I'm madly writing papers and can't stand to listen to the typings and whisperings of the others in the the computer lab.
About a year or so ago the presenter of one of my favorite shows, Drive with Ray Khan, was suddenly gone. Adil Ray took over for a bit and now Nikki Bedi is on at that time. My question is why did Ray Khan leave? Did he choose to leave or was he forced out and why?

- BhabgraBabe

A: Dear BhabgraBabe,

I found this quote from him here in the About Ray Khan section:


I found my self getting itchy feet so I went from one commercial Radio Station to the next. In 1996 I joined the BBC Asian Programmes and stayed for nine years and then I got Itchy feet again. So in March of 2006 I joined Club Asia to present London's hottest Drive Time show.

I been to my doctor and he's given me something for my itchy feet so I might be around on Club Asia for a while.


Sounds like he just wanted a change so he left!

Talk Radio is a good thing.

- de novo -
Question #25760 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the name of the song that plays in the background of the Zales diamonds/jewelry commercials? I'm trying to find the sheet music. Someone had it once and I thought they told me it was called "Claudia" but I can't find it anywhere. Thanks!

- I aspire to being in a Zales commercial...haha

A: Dear Zales Commercial Junkie,

Heres what I found on zales.com


What music is played on your TV ads?
The song that plays on our commercials was written exclusively for Zales and is a 30-second piece. You should be able to find similar music in your local music store on a CD titled "Diamond Music" by Karl Jenkins.

The cd in question is available through Amazon.com here. Most of the sheet music for the cd is available here.
As I was looking, I also found the following songs and artists that were said to be used in Zales commercials as well - just in case the above music wasn't what you were looking for.

1. Under Pressure by Queen.
2. It Rains Diamons by Insane Clown Posse
3. For Your Love by the Yardbirds

Hope this is what you were looking for.

-branflakes

References:
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=1170
http://www.amiright.com/names/commercials/i.shtml
http://www.queenzone.com/queenzone/news_view.aspx?news_id=3298
Question #25759 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,
While mourning the passing of Billy Preston I couldn't help but wonder if the name "Bill S. Preston" of the "Bill and Ted" movies was meant as a reference to the music legend. Any idea?

- Sweet Loretta Martin

A: My Dearest Sugary Loretta Martin,

I say that in a way Bill S. Preston, Esquire is a homage to Billy Preston. Although there are no official statements from the filmmakers, it is something that those "people" like to do. It is what you make of it. As for that Billy Preston character, he was questionable, at best.

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
Question #25758 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board, - Katya

In regard to the question posted on June 8th ( I dont know how to find the numbers of the q's)
Heh your response made me laugh. Actually he is 23 and I am finishing up my undergrad right now. But I realize that it was probably me who worded it in such a way as to make you think we are in high school. But still ouch - it put the whole thing in perspective for me. Huge perspective actually. Because frankly I already know the answer to that, or any other thing that I ask but the thing is I sort of want and need a "mormon" opinion ( it doesnt matter why, dont ask, but I just do)
The whole purpose behind that question was the possibility of future mother in law "problem".
But anyways, thanks for keeping it fun and funny

Oh by the way, your screen name Katya is russian, are you Russian? or why did you pick that name?

- Jess

A: Dear Jess,

Whoops! Sorry about assuming you were in high school. (In retrospect, I think I based the assumption on the fact that you were hanging out at his house a lot -- most college students go to school far enough away that they don't have the luxury.)

I guess my advice still stands, even more so if you think you might be getting married.

I am Danish, English, German, Norwegian, Swedish and Welsh, but not Russian. My name comes from taking Russian 101 and having to adopt a "Russian name." My real name is tricky to prounounce, and the Russian one stuck as a nickname, so I use it here on the Board and sometimes in real life.

- Katya
Question #25755 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

The other day I was watching Mansfield Park (the one made in 1999 with Frances O'Connor). Since I play the harp I was particuarly interested in the part where Mary Crawford plays her harp. Do you know what piece of music she is playing?

- Harpist Who Wants To Learn How To Play It Too

A: Dear Harpist,

I believe the piece is called "Mary's Harp" and is on the Mansfield Park soundtrack. Is it the same song that is found on http://www.janeausten.co.uk/magazine/index.ihtml?pid=405&step=4? I hope that is what you are looking for.

-ABC 123
A: Dear Harpster,

On the topic of harps and Mansfield Park, imdb.com reports "The harp that Mary Crawford is playing is a double action harp. The double action harp was not invented until 1810, while the movie took place in 1806."

Just in case you wanted to know!

-branflakes
Question #25754 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

As a bit of query, is that truly an emoticon that is seen floating in the title bar, which indeed is causing this individual to wonder what is going on when even the omniscient Board succumbs to the lure of teenage deliquency, that is if it is what it appears to be?

-Colin

A: you,

since when have emoticons equated to 'teenage delinquency'? computer people have been using such textual icons a lot longer than the text-messaging generation of today. i'm over half-way through my twenties and i use them in almost every text conversation i have with my friends, and i am certainly not delinquent.

emoticons aside, such closed mindedness as you just expressed is not just insulting to those of us who use it to express ourselves, but it goes to show why other universities think we at byu act like snobs. this is not backlash from a bruised ego, but hopefully a wakeup call for those who shoot their mouth off before they think.

ignorant.

oh, and two afterthoughts: first, he's a new webmaster... it's better to not upset webmasters. and second, you might want to try using spellcheck.
A: Dear Colin,

How do you suggest I express the fact that I'm just a laid back guy enjoying my new position and having a little fun? I think ;-) does a pretty good job... I prefer to not take myself too seriously.

-CPM
Question #25753 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are my best chances for getting someone to fall in love with me and write me long, romantic letters sealed up with sealing wax? As a substitute, would any of you male board writers be willing to send me a romantic email if i gave you my email address?

- It's raining and it affects my mood

A: Dear Rainy,

Um...step back in time and be Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice?

Nike
A: Dear sad that it's raining,

Your chances of having a male Board writer (or any male) randomly write you a love letter sealed in wax are not good, I think. However, I think you could get any of us to write you a letter like that (or, at the very least, a romantic email) for the right price.

That price, however, depends on the writer in question. I'd suggest sending emails to the writers suggesting various bribes and see where that gets you. I've already listed my price for pretty much anything on the Board...several times, I believe. Telling you what it was would take all the fun out of it, though.

Search the archives.

- Optimistic.
A: Dear rainy day,

I'd start by falling for a member of The Quill & the Sword, because you know they'd go for the whole sealing wax thing. And if you can find one with an affinity for Victorian literature, both problems are solved.

- Katya
A: My Dearest Moody Person,

I'll bite. E-mail me at T h e R e v @ b y u . n e t and I will write you something that will melt your heart, or at least make you laugh. I am doing this as a friend, so if you want a hand-written and wax-sealed letter you will have to provide the materials.

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
Question #25752 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Would you know what I meant if I said someone was doing a "Charlie Brown" dance?

- Wish I could dance like that...

A: Dear Wishy,

Yes, I think I would understand. But why would anyone want to dance like that when there's the macarena?

Totally joking.

Nike
A: Dear Wish,

No. And I probably wouldn't fake that I knew it. You'd just get a blank stare.

-Petra
A: Dear wishing,

Of course! But then I'd have to ask you which Charlie Brown dance you were doing, 'cause I can think of more than one. (Don't mind Petra. She had an underprivileged childhood.)

- Katya
Question #25751 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

From what I understand, each of the Board writers can write under multiple pseudonymns. My question is, exactly how many board writers are there, currently? How many male and how many female? And do the writers ever write under a pseudonymn of the opposite gender? (What if I'm falling in love with a girl?)

- Think wisely about your answers...

A: Dear Think,

Regarding how many board writers there are, this question was asked only two months ago (see Board Question #24491). However, I think the current number is 25.

And I never write under a pseudonym of the opposite gender.

-Wilhelmina Wafflewitz
A: Dear Think Wisely,

We usually have about 25 writers. Right now we're split pretty much 50/50. Probably the most uneven we ever get is 60/40 in favor of either gender. I can think of one female writer who used a male alias on occasion, and two male writers who had female ones. All of those aliases have since been retired, and it's been about a year since any of them was used. (Actually, given some problems we had with one of those aliases, it might be preferable not to let anyone bend genders again.) Many of the writers do use aliases which are not identifiably male or female, but there's been very little gender impersonation in the history of the Board.

- Katya
A: Dear Think,

We also had one writer who was gender neutral for a long time... but she finally admitted she was, in fact, a girl. But, there was quite a fray on the Answer page over her gender.

As for the Males who tried to be females... um... at least one of those guys was just plain nuts (in an entirely complementary sense). So, Katya is right.

The names you see the most are most likely a writer's primary aliases. It is the random ones that come up on special occasions. For example, Horatio has answered a hundred times more answers than any of my other alter-egos. I can only think of one writer who has two aliases in the top fifteen... and he's just prolific.

That is all.

Horatio the Board Writer
Question #25750 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Where's a good, local karaoke location? I've never done it, but it sounds like a blast!

- Gimme a mic!

A: Dear given a mic,

I'm lazy today and don't feel like typing out all the different names, addresses and phone numbers I found in a quick Google search. Thus, I'll just direct you here, here, or here.

I've never sung karaoke in Utah (or, for that matter, anywhere else), so I can't give you any personal recommendations. Good luck.

-Petra
A: Dear Gimme,

The only local place with a regular Karaoke option is Doc's Pizza Buffett. It is in the Plumtree Shopping Center near Cafe Rio and the new Reams (formerly known as Food-4-Less).

They have a Karaoke night every Friday from 6-10 PM. I am there quite often, and it truly is a lot of fun. They used to have Karaoke on different nights at different places... but they are down to just Doc's on Friday.

Karaoke in Utah is interesting... because there is no drinking (which usually goes hand in hand with Karaoke). So, all the people you see up there going crazy are actually sober. It's a very sobering thought.

If you're interested in having a private Karaoke party, the same group does private karaoke parties (with or without a DJ) as well. They are called Karaoke Konnection at (801) 223-9320

So, head on over to Doc's on Friday and sing something crazy. Of course, nobody should use this as an attempt to figure out who I am... because I'll deny everything... while singing...

That is all.

Horatio
Question #25749 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My fiance and I have finally found an apartment to live in next fall. We have been considering renter's insurance. What are the pros and cons for getting renter's insurance? Is it really worth it?

- 525,800 minutes

A: Dear But Who's Counting?,

Mr. Nike and I have renter's insurance and I believe it's totally worth it. We pay $75 for six months of not worrying. They will replace up to, I think, $10,000 worth of damages. I can leave the house on vacation knowing if something should happen, we'll be fine.

We also included in our policy some special things we had insured, particularly my ring. I feel much safer with this rock with it insured!

Anyway, I highly recommend renter's insurance. It's always better to be safe than sorry.

Nike
A: Dear 525,800 minutes,

Other than the payments, there are no cons. If you don't get it, who will pay to replace your possessions if you apartment catches fire or is burglarized? What if someone breaks their leg in your apartment tripping over that ethernet cord or cable line that stretches across your floor and decides to sue you? Who covers you?

Your renters insurance. Unless you don't have it. Then you cover you.

We pay $10 a month (would be more, but we have our auto there too so they give us a discount) and have $15,000 worth of coverage (smallest policy State Farm writes). We have had renter's insurance for coming up on four years now and haven't had a second thought about it since.

-Pa Grape
A: Dear Minutes,

Ditto to what Nike and Pa Grape said. A little more about the coverages though.

Renter's insurance covers the following:

Personal Property : All of your clothing, furniture, appliances, etc. Make sure your policy covers all of your property at replacement cost not actual cash value. Basically that's saying the company will pay to replace your items rather than just giving you what they were worth at the time of the loss.
Liability : Another thing to point out here is if you cause damage to the apartment. You think your landlord would let you burn it down (or whatever) and just not worry about it? I don't. Most landlords are going to go after you for the damages.
Medical : Covers visitors on the property in the event of medical expenses.
Loss of Use : Also known as Additional Living Expenses. Covers you in the event that the property you rent is damaged and you're forced to move out. It will pay any increase in living expenses (i.e. hotel, eating out more, laundry away from home, etc.)

Depending on the insurance company, it may actually be cheaper to have your renter's insurance and auto insurance than just auto insurance.

As the Board Insurance Know-it-all, I say get it.

- Lavish
Question #25745 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the best way to make and receive phone calls between Ireland and the United States or Mongolia? Calling cards?

- Rampant Foolery the World Traveler

A: Dear Fool,

If you have a computer and a decent internet connection you should check out http://www.skype.com and their Skype Out service.

-Phoenix
A: Dear Rampant Foolery,
Or you can download Google Talk and talk for free! All you need is an Internet connection and a decent microphone. Enjoy!
-ME
Question #25741 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I know the story of Karl G. Maeser seeing a vision of the then future BYU and thus BYU was not sold and has now evolved into a leading University. But why did UVSC, or another University not build their university on the shores Provo Lake? It is a very pretty view on the other side and with a little ecosystem readjusting it could be a very attractive campus. Is this even plausible? Cause then we'll get a bridge across Provo Lake! =)

- Bridget

A: Dear Bridget,
If you read http://www.uvsc.edu/visitors/history/ you can read more about UVSC's history. One of their main priorities was not to build a university by the lake. Lakes come with their own problems. And I'd have to imagine that they didn't think it would be worth it to readjust the ecosystem. There was plenty of other land around that they wouldn't have to readjust. :) You don't need a lake to have an attractive campus.
-ABC 123
Question #25740 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:


Dear 100 Hour Board,

There are people who are addicted to drugs (opium) who want to quit. I found out that in order for a drug addict to have access to drug rehabiliation, they must first be arrested (or turn themselves in), and then they must serve a certain amount of time and have a record (let's just say there's a lot at risk). They just want to go quietly into drug rehab. There are some private rehab centers, but they are extremely expensive 50,000+. What do you know that can help?

- My Cracked up World

A: Dear My Cracked up World,

My heart goes out to those that are addicted to drugs and are looking for ways to stop. I hope this post will provide some answers you are looking for.

I found http://www.drug-rehabs.org to be a useful site and decided to call to get more information. I spoke with Lara and explained the information you had and asked for her advice. She very quick to respond that you do not need to be arrested or serve time in order to receive help. Lara did say that there are private clinics that are quite expensive, but that was not the only type available. She referred me to http://www.drugtreatment.tv (notice it is not .com) which listed free or low cost clinics that are organized by state.

In my research I also found the following sites which might be of use:
http://www.drugandalcoholrehab.net/
http://www.drug-rehabilitation.com/
http://www.soberrecovery.com/

Never lose hope my friend, and good luck. My prayers are with you.

-branflakes
Question #25739 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Does the icecream from the BYU creamery have xanthan gum in it?

- Redoubt

A: Dear Redoubt,

I spoke with Jerry from the Creamery to see if he couldn't shed some light on this subject. He commented that xanthan gum is used in BYU ice cream as a stabilizer/gluten. Jerry couldn't comment on which ice cream flavors he knew for a fact contained xanthan gum, but knew quite a number of them did. He said it was mostly due to the fact that even if the ice cream itself did not contain xanthan gum to start with, its likely an additive such as a cookie for Cookies and Cream could, and therefore introduce the gum into the ice cream. So the ingredients that are used for flavoring and/or taste could affect if xanthan gum was used or not.

If you are curious about a specific flavor, submit another question or just stop by a Creamery and check the carton.

bon appetite!

-branflakes
Question #25733 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How would werf become a hypnotist?

- Can't Believe My Eyes

A: Dear Can't Believe Your Eyes,

There are lots of hypnosis training centers that werf could check out online. I just typed "hypnosis training" into Google, and here are some that I came up with:

http://www.healthwithhypnosis.com/hypnosis_training_how_to_become_a_hypnotist.htm
http://www.hypnotherapy.com/hypnosis_certification_prg.html
http://www.learninghypnosis.com/Advanced.htm
http://www.omnihypnosis.com/
http://www.hypnosiscenter.com/
http://www.hypnosiscourse.com/
http://www.dicksutphen.com/html/hypnotist_training.html
http://www.wayneperkins.net/hypnosis/online.html

That last one has downloadable hypnosis training mp3s, so you can learn it all from the comfort of your own home.

-Tangerine

P.S. If werf wants to read what church leaders have said about hypnosis, Board Question #4204 is very informative.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the easiest major offered at BYU?
My dad is convinced it's Psychology (which I disagree with) because when he was here about 20+ years ago it was. What are your thoughts?

- wanting to prove dad wrong

A: Dear Dad Prover,

I really don't think this is a very good question to ask because the answer can be different for everyone. I think English would be a really easy major, but my husband would never dare tackle English as a major. Likewise, I think anything having do with math or science would be really hard, but I'll bet Mr. Nike could handle a biology major in a heartbeat. It just depends on your talents and natural abilities.

Nike
Question #25731 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you were to write a book, what would the first sentence/paragraph be? What about the last?

- The Top Hat

A: Dear Toppy,

Something about how life never turns out the way you plan, and that's exactly how it should be. The last line would probably be similar.

Nike
A: Dear TTH,

It depends on the kind of book I was writing. A non-fiction book would have a much different first sentence than a regular fiction novel, which would be much different than the first sentence of a children's book. However, let's assume I'm going to write a novel. The first sentence would be:
"The little green light went out again."
The last sentence would be:
"She discreetly picked up the tennis ball and stuffed it in her pocket."

-Wilhelmina Wafflewitz
A: Dear Hatty,

First line: It all started when werf poured a bowl of cereal.
Last line: And thats when werf decided it was finally time to put the bowl in the sink.

Catchy, eh?

-branflakes
A: My Dearest Out of Style Hat,

First paragraph: Have you ever noticed how ducks hold no animosity towards wolves, yet they seem to hate humans. Well Oswald has.

Last paragraph: The secret of the burger-eaters was out. Now everyone knew that they suffered from congenital foot deformities, and that they used the weekly meetings as a support group. However no one could explain why they carried around ducks like hand bags.

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

This is a really strange question, and I promise it's purely out of curiousity...Are humans white or red meat? What classifies meat as being either red or white? Is it dependant on the color it turns when cooked (blegh, this is kind of grossing me out), or is it the structure of the muscle/meat? Why do some meats such as chicken appear white when cooked, and some appear brown/gray/reddish, like beef? Can something be both red and white meat?

- Thought about putting a witty cannibal joke, but it just wasn't funny

A: Dear because witty and cannibal don't belong in the same sentence,

The short answer: Humans are composed of both red and white meat.

Here's why:
There are two main types of muscle that could be used for meat, slow twitch and fast twitch fibers. There are key differences that set these two types of muscle apart. For our purposes, we will talk about the physical characteristics, how the two receive oxygen, and their color. This site is quite helpful to our cause and sums up each of these differences in the following:
"Muscles that are used for extended periods of activity, such as standing or walking, are made up of muscles with fibers that are called slow-twitch. Since these muscles are constantly being used, they need a consistent energy source. The protein myoglobin stores oxygen in muscle cells, which use oxygen to extract the energy needed for constant activity. The more myoglobin there is in the cells, the redder, or darker, the meat. Muscles that are used for situations where quick bursts of activity are needed, such as fleeing from danger, are made up of fibers called fast-twitch. These muscles get energy from glycogen, which is also stored in the muscles."
The site also includes a great visual diagram of how these two types of muscle are divided up in fish, chickens, pigs, cows, and humans. Let's talk a bit more about how each muscle type receives oxygen. As stated, myoglobin is a key player in slow twitch as it is responsible for carrying the needed oxygen using your blood that allow your muscles to function. My roommates PDBIO 305 study guide had this to say about slow-twitch fibers:
"Slow-twitch fibers - also called red fibers are found predominately in the postural muscles such as in the back and legs and have a twitch duration of about 100msec. They are capable of producing muscle contractions for long periods of time and derive energy from oxidative metabolism."
Fast twitch fibers however do not use the same type of energy source as slow-twitch. Energy is received through a process called glycolysis where a molecule of glucose is oxidized into energy. This does not use blood as its carrier and therefore is white rather then red. Once again, the PDBIO 305 study guide says this:
"Fast-twitch fibers - also called white fibers are found predominately in muscles involved in fine, skilled movements such as in hands and eye muscles and have a twitch duration of about 7 msec. They are capable of producing rapid, powerful contractions, but they fatigue quickly. They are white because they contain little myoglobin."
In humans slow twitch muscles are found in your back and legs and fast twitch are found in places such as your hands and eyes. The site listed above also notes that
"the average human has about 50% slow-twitch and 50% fast-twitch fibers. Professional athletes can have a higher percentage of one or the other type. For instance, Olympic sprinters may have as much as 80% fast-twitch fibers and long-distance runners may have as much as 80% slow-twitch. Weight-lifters need fast-twitch fibers for quick bursts of strength, and long-distance swimmers need the constant movement provided by slow-twitch fibers."
So in conclusion, humans contain both red and white meat. The amount of red versus white can vary from person to person and depends on their exercise routines. The difference in color when cooked is due to how blood and muscle react when heated. For more information, you might find the following links helpful:
http://www.exploratorium.edu/cooking/meat/meat-chart.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_meat
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_meat
http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/oct2000/971654042.Gb.r.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glycolysis

This is probably a lot more information then you were really looking for, but what can I say - I want you to be informed. Enjoy!

-branflakes
Question #25729 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I saw an interesting video where someone had done a few experiments with supercooled water, like pouring it into a glass and having it turn into ice. (Unfortunately, I don't have the URL handy.) My question is, what would happen if you tried to drink supercooled water?

- Seoman

PS: Bonus points if you can answer the same question for liquid nitrogen. ;)

PPS: This is purely scientific curiousity. I have no intention of trying it.

A: Dear Seoman,

The video's concerning supercooled water I found are available here. I imagine they are the same ones.

Let's first talk about what supercooled water is. I find it much easier to answer questions when I can define something. Here goes.
Rather then try and explain it myself, let's have this site do it for us:
Water normally freezes when it is cooled below 0 degrees Celsius, forming ice crystals. Ice crystals form more easily when they grow on existing ice crystals -- the water molecules like to pack themselves in place on a crystal that's already gotten started. It doesn't take much to start the crystallization process going -- a little piece of dust or other impurity in the water, or even a scratch on the bottle are sometimes all it takes to get ice crystals growing. The process of starting off a crystal is called "nucleation." In the absence of impurities in the water and imperfections in the bottle, the water can get "stuck" in its liquid state as it cools off, even below its freezing point. We say this supercooled state is "metastable."
Water that is free of impurities (such as bottled water) under the right conditions can stay liquid at temperatures below 0 degrees celsius.
Wikipedia notes that under ambient pressure water has the possibility of being cooled to -42 degrees celsius (now thats cold!) and still remain liquid.
Now let's talk about it being a beverage. Note that even though the water is not frozen, it really is the temperature of its enviornment. As soon as a particle or disturbance is introduced, its solid...and that happens rather quickly. So if you tried to drink supercooled water a couple things could happen, depending on the temperature of the water. You could get a slushie of sorts and it could be a wonderful experience. Or you could have your lips, mouth, and possibly your throat frozen, which would not be a wonderful experience. So there you have it - you've been warned.

As for liquid nitrogen, our friend Wikipedia reports that it is "a cryogenic (extremely cold) fluid which can cause instant frostbite on direct contact with living tissue." So unless you want a frost bitten face, you'll stay away.

Well I hope this helps, I personally think this is some pretty cool (ha!) stuff.

-branflakes
Question #25723 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

i am having the trouble of trying to work out my pectoral muscles and the push ups do not seem to be doing anything to the lower part of my pectoral muscles. is there a way that i can be making the lower part of my pectoral muscles more with definition?

i thank you

- A Drift

A: Dear A Drift,
When in doubt, turn to your peers. Or Internet peers, anyway. Advice from http://www.steadyhealth.com/pectorial_exercises_t55328.html states the following:
first exercise is done on incline bench (30 to 45 degree angle) and is used for upper pectoral muscles. Lie on bench and support your legs on the ground and keep your buttocks firmly against the bench through entire exercise! Also do not bounce the bar off you chest! Otherwise you could cause yourself a serious injury! Ok, take hold of barbell (or weight) with both hands. Grasp it so that forearms form a right angle to the upper arm when the upper arm is parallel to the floor. Your eyes must be kept under the barbell. Then lift the barbell with slightly bent arms above the upper part of pectorals and opposite, lower the barbell slowly until it touches your pectorals (touch it lightly!) and then again raise your arms by extending it. Beginner should do up to 10 sets.
Opposite exercise is with decline bench (also 30 to 45 degree angle, just in decline position) and it is used for lower pectoral muscles. Also, here be careful not to bounce the bar of your chest. Carefully lift the bar off the rack. Steady the weight over your lower chest; do the exercise slowly- slowly lower the bar until it (lightly!) touches the lower chest. Then pause of a second and return it t a starting position. Also repeat this 10 times.
Other advice from http://www.bodybuildersnetwork.com/chest/:
PECTORIAL REGION BASIC MOVEMENT
Upper Pec--Barbell, Dumbbell, Smith Machine Incline Press, Cable Crossovers
General Pec--Barbell, Dumbbell Machine Press, Dips, Flat Bench Flyes
Lower Pec--Barbell, Dumbbell, Decline Press
Inner Pec--Pec-Deck Flyes, Cable Crossovers, Narrow Grip Bench Presses
-ABC 123
Question #25721 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Re: Board Question #24808

What I meant was, is it possible to dodge a bullet (that's been fired from a gun) or catch an arrow (that's been shot from a bow) in real life? And is there any recorded instance of an actual person doing either of these feats?

While it would be admittedly pretty awesome if one of you Board Writers has accomplished this, that's not what I was asking because I assumed you hadn't. I meant to just ask about people in general. Sorry for the confusion.

- Still Not Joey

A: Dear Still Not Joey,

From my reading online, the answer seems to be mixed. On the believing side, the party line is "yes, it's probably possible," with one key caveat: you have to see the person firing at you and know where the bullet is coming from; in that case, you're not really so much dodging a bullet as dodging the barrel of a gun. (This Wikihow article teaches you "How to Dodge a Bullet," understanding, of course, that with the caveat the article is more appropriately titled "How to Avoid Gunfire" or "How to Notice Where a Gun is Aimed." If you want to see a bit more criticism of the article, visit the discussion page for some dissenting and assenting opinions.)

On the unbelieving side, the answer seems to be "no." Um, I've got nothing more on that. It seems pretty clear, don't you think? If you want to read part of this blog for a long and slightly loopy discussion of whether a person could seem to alter the space-time continuum enough to dodge a bullet. (I think I made up that space-time continuum bit. Or did I?)

As for catching arrows, it seems to be slightly more possible, especially for those trained in karate and the like. Visit this website or this website for firsthand evidence.

This is all internet research, I know, and I apologize. Devoted as I am to answering your questions, though, I'm not quite crazy enough to firsthand research on this subject.

-Petra
Question #25694 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

When reading about history, you hear a lot about people being exiled to stange islands all the time--Ovid, and Napoleon and such...What does it mean to be exiled? Do they live completely by themselves? Are they guarded? Do their families come with them? How is it different from prison? Why aren't they just sent to prison? Is it still in practice today?

- Waterloo

A: Dear Waterloo,

Exile today is a different idea than it would have been back in the days of Napoleon, and even more different still if you go back to Ovid. The basic idea behind exile is simple - banish the offender from the area and never allow werf to return. The justification for this was that the exilee could potentially become a martyr for their cause within their own country. Exilees were not sent to prisons. Rather, they were simply prevented from returning to their homelands. Sometimes they could live with their families and others. Sometimes they were even welcomed by other countries and allowed to live comfortably.

Wikipedia has an excellent article on exile, which includes a list of famous people who have been exiled throughout history. The most recent famous exilee I can think of is Leon (Lev) Trotsky, who was exiled from the Soviet Union. He travelled to New York, from which place he went to Mexico, where he was assassinated in 1940.

Sorry, I just can't pass up an opportunity to show off my knowledge of Soviet history.

- Optimistic.
Question #25692 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I had never heard of the Tanner Building being referred to as "the box that the Salt Lake Temple came in" before today. It got me wondering. Are the dimensions of the Tanner building and the SLC temple such that if you had a box the size of the Tanner building, could you put the temple in it? I was staring at the Tanner building this morning and I almost think you can.

- The Top Hat

A: Dear Top Hat,

The dimensions of the Salt Lake Temple are 181 feet long, 118 feet wide, 107 feet high. The east center tower is 210 feet high; the west center tower is 204 feet high.

I haven't heard back yet on my phone call to find the exact exterior dimensions, but looking at the floor maps of the Tanner Building, I estimate it's 200 feet long and 120 feet wide. That's about the same base as the temple. However, I know it's not as tall as the temple. When you go to BYU's campus map (http://map.byu.edu/Map.html) and find the description of the SWKT, it says it's the tallest building in Provo at 161 feet 6 inches. That's not even as tall as the highest point of the Salt Lake Temple. So, if you had a box the size of the Tanner Building, you could not fit the Salt Lake Temple in it. Well, maybe you could, but you just wouldn't be able to put the lid on the box.

-Wilhelmina Wafflewitz
Question #25676 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,
I've got a couple of tree questions. First, what kind of tree are those ones down by J-Dawg, that are in a line on the north end of that parking lot? In the fall they get these little red berry things (maybe some kind of cherries?) and they just look so sweet and story-bookish! Secondly, I'm wondering what this other kind of tree is; I've seen it several places around town. There is one down 700 E., about 3 houses up from 700 N. in front of a women's house with a big glass window that I think may have recently been broken. It's big and has heart-shaped leaves and in the fall it drops these bizarre nut-things, with spikes all over them, leading me to believe that perhaps it may be some sort of a hazelnut tree. I love that tree, it looks like it came straight out of a Dr. Suess book! And, to avoid future tree questions, perhaps you can recommend your source of information, or some sort of tree-identification book, if one exists.
Thanks a ton!

- amorously-arboriousity

A: Dear amorously-arboriousity,

Well, other than just happening to have made the acquaintance of someone who is studying tree identification, I can't take too much credit for this answer. I passed the question scriteria on to her and she ran with it. Literally. She went for a jog and found your trees.

She says the first one by J-Dawgs is a Pyrus calleryana (a Bradford Pear). She's pretty sure she found the right one on the second tree. It is a Asculus hippocastanum (Horse Chestnut).

She did a heck of a lot better job at it than I could have.

-Rafe and the Running Botanist
Question #25670 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do YOU think that being hypnotized is a sin or looked down upon in the church? I have a friend that tells me that it's REALLY bad because you're giving up your free agency, etc.
Personally I just think it's really fun/funny.

-you're getting.. zZzzZzz..

A: Dear sleepy,
We're really not at liberty to express our opinions on this matter, but the Church has some direction in Board Question #4204. It may be funny, but most of the time I've found that it does more harm than good.
-ME
A: Dear ME

We're really not at liberty to express our opinions on this matter . . .

Because we're . . . hypnotized? (No. Because we've been asked not to comment on speculatory doctrine. I just thought it was funny.)

- Katya
Question #25648 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Awhile back Blockbuster changed locations from what is now Zupas to the building on the other side of University Parkway, next to 24 Hour Fitness. I have heard a rumor that when they changed buildings they wiped out their customer's histories, including any late fees on the account before the move. Is there any truth to that or is it just a rumor?

- doesn't want to pay late fees that a friend racked up on my account

A: Dear doesn't want to pay,

Wishful thinking, my friend. Their late-fee records are intact.

-Rafe
Question #25647 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My city basically started a program a few years ago where they wanted to add one new stoplight in the city for each resident. They haven't asked me where I want mine yet, but I am convinced that they will soon since there are probably 6-8 new ones all along one street.

Anyway, I was walking down that street, past the Senior Center today. When I crossed the street I started thinking about the chirp sound at that particular cross walk. Now, it makes sense that there would be an audio cue for people (especially seniors) to know when to cross the street...

But...are there any recorded cases of birds chirping back at the crosswalks? This seems like it could potentially be problematic. It could be dangerous since seniors may hear real birds and mistake them for the mechanical chirping. They might begin to cross the street when it wasn't actually safe.

Has there ever been a lawsuit for something like that?

- Patient

A: My Dearest Long-suffering Person,

I sincerely hope your city is putting in a new streetlight for each resident of the city, and not a stoplight for each one. If it is a stoplight then I will rank your city as the most wasteful city in the United States in my annual guide.

Now to your question, the audible signal for the visually impaired is well thought out. From the "crosswalk" entry on Wikipedia it says "Crosswalks have also been adapted for the blind by adding two small loudspeakers at each corner, chirping when it is safe to cross east-west, and cuckooing for north-south." Now those who rely on this system are well aware of how it works, and usually have better perception of sound due to their visual impairment. So they know exactly how the "chirp" or "cuckoo" should sound. I have never heard a bird chirp the same way as the loudspeakers, nor have even a fraction of the strength. In conclusion, if someone mistakes a real bird chirp with a crosswalk chirp then they should not be out walking the streets alone. And I really hope that no one ever files a lawsuit over this, we have too many frivolous lawsuits as it is.

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
Question #25546 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I ordered a copy of the conference CDs from April 2006, and was very happy when they came yesterday. I started loading them on my computer through iTunes, so that I could subsequently put them on my iPod, when I got to disks 7 and 8, and it did not find the information for them. Instead, they are listed only as Track 1, 2, 3... I tried several times with each CD, disconnected and reconected to the internet, and nothing works. Is this a problem with my CDs, with me, with my computer, with the CDs for everyone, or what?

Thanks,

Freind of the Nonspellers

A: My Dearest Friend to Yourself,

To explain the reason that iTunes (which I hate) and any other program you could of tried did not get the track information for discs 7 and 8, one must understand how it all works. Each CD has a "discid", a sort of "fingerprint" of a CD created by performing calculations on the track duration information stored in the table-of-contents of the CD. This discid is used with the internet database, typically either to download track names for the whole CD or to submit track names for a newly-identified CD. When you inserted the other discs in your computer, it found the track information on a database (CDDB or freedb), and matched titles to corresponding tracks. Now whoever did the favor of entering the information must of not gotten around to the last two discs, but don't worry, you can enter the information yourself and even update the CD databases and share the wealth.

To properly name the files it is easiest to do it before the ripping. It depends on your software, but basically you can rename the tracks from "Track 1" to "President Gordon B. Hinckley - Until Again We Meet" for example. I would try to follow the naming conventions that you found in the earlier discs. You can use this as a guide. Once all the proper information is entered you can use your ripping program to update CDDB with the "new disc."

If you already ripped the discs, and just want to edit the filenames and ID3 tags (MP3 information) it is still possible. I use Tag&Rename to make sure all my ID3 tags have the proper information, and to rename the files to my standards.

I did not do a walk-through because you are a smart person. You can figure things out. I was going to make entries to the CDDB for these discs, but I couldn't find anyone with them, not even the LRC.

I conclude with a gift to all readers. The Church releases on its website the MP3 files for just about everything, so there is really no need to buy the GC CDs if you are just going to rip them to MP3. The glorious website can be found here

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
Question #25545 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Alright, here's a toughie for you now that finals are over. I was watching The Adventures of Don Juan (old movie, with Errol Flynn) just now, and in the movie there was a very prominant musical theme repeated over and over. I seems to remember hearing this theme in some other, more recent movie. Have any of you seen Don Juan, and if so, do you know what other movie that music is used in?

- Trillian

A: My Dearest Instant Messaging Program,

I have good news, and I have bad news. I found that the music from "The Adventures of Don Juan" and it just so happens that our University did the publication of the soundtrack on CD. That means you can go to the LRC and check out CD 1138 (4 hour check-out). I did this, listened to track after track, thinking, taking notes, and it came to me, nothing that is. So I took a break, listened again, and nothing came to me. You see, there are 20 tracks, with no distinguishing words, which makes searching Google for a match basically impossible. I can sense familiarity between the score and many movies, but I cannot pin it down to a name. I hope that the reason you asked this was so you could buy the new movie soundtrack so you could hear the music of "Don Juan," and that finding this has led you to a greater treasure, the original. For the sake of people who think they might be able to find a match, I will post the soundtrack information.

"Max Steiner - Adventures of Don Juan"
Label: BYU/FMA Release Year: 2000
1. Main Title (03:45)
2. Caught/Escape/Juan's Entourage/Processional (05:23)
3. Unmasked (03:53)
4. Madrid (02:08)
5. The Press Gang (02:21)
6. The King's Portrait/Juan's Arrival at the Palace (02:43)
7. Seeds of Treachery/Count de Polan Captured (04:41)
8. Fencing Master/Hall of Flags (05:22)
9. Paragon Among Queens (05:33)
10. Donna Elena's Advances (02:49)
11. Sentenced to Exile (02:15)
12. Song at the Inn (02:00)
13. Count de Polan's Ring (02:06)
14. Juan Exposes Duke de Lorca (06:24)
15. Rescue from the Fortress (04:58)
16. The Chapel/The Loyalists Gather (02:47)
17. Evading the Palace Guards (03:56)
18. Fighting for Freedom (03:50)
19. Death of Duke de Lorca/Don Juan Bids Farewell to Margaret/The Road to Lisbon (05:24)
20. A Short-Lived Reformation/End Title (00:51)

-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo
Question #25458 posted on 06/14/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I heard a story about the way that the word "quiz" was invented and I was wondering if it was true because I haven't been able to find anything to back it up. I heard a story in like Middle School that there was a bet between two men where one man said that he could invent a word and make it famous. So he invented the word "quiz" and wrote it on the side of a building...and so forth, and the word became famous. Any truth to that story or is it completely made up?

- The Cheeky Chickie

A: Dear Cheeky Chickie,

Well, the word-form itself predates the anecdote, which is a great story and probably not true:

The story goes that a Dublin theatre proprietor by the name of Richard Daly made a bet that he could, within forty-eight hours, make a nonsense word known throughout the city, and that the public would give a meaning to it. After the performance one evening, he gave his staff cards with the word 'quiz' written on them, and told them to write the word on walls around the city. The next day the strange word was the talk of the town, and within a short time it had become part of the language. This picturesque tale appeared as an anecdote in 1836, but the most detailed account (in F. T. Porter's Gleanings and Reminiscences, 1875) gives the date of the exploit as 1791. The word, however, was already in use by then, meaning 'an odd or eccentric person', and had been used in this sense by Fanny Burney in her diary on 24 June 1782. 'Quiz' was also used as a name for a curious toy, something like a yo-yo and also called a bandalore, which was popular around 1790. The word is nevertheless hard to account for, and so is its later meaning of 'to question, to interrogate', which emerged in the mid-19th century and gave rise to the most common use of the term today, for an entertainment based on questions and answers.


(http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutwordorigins/quiz)

That's from Oxford Dictionaries their very selves, and they're pretty nearly the last word on questions of etymology.

-A. A. Melyngoch

Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am a legal alien in this country. I entered the U.S. legally and have stayed that way. I have paid hundreds of dollars to do so but I am not an american citizen yet, because that requieres me to spend several hundreds of dollars more and at this point I don't have them. I have tried to find some info on this and I have not been able to do so, thus I came to you.
If there is an amnesty for illegal aliens in the country, how would that affect me?. Do I become a ciizen as well(as I did what the law required of me)? or am I out of the loop because I did everything that the law required of me?.
I don't know, this whole inmigration thing is kind of complicated, but why do people that break the law get the brakes and those that obey the law have to keep on paying?.
Please your thoughs, 'cause darn, I am unhappy!, I think I should have stayed illegal and spend all the money and time that went to the INS on a cruise or something!

Faithful to the 12th.

A: Dear Faithful,

First of all, let me congratulate you on being honorable and obeying the laws of this land. I know from some experience that it is not easy to obey the immigration laws of the United States.

I have taken some extra time on this, because I simply have been unable to find an answer within the confines of the law. Of course, the US Code is an extremely complicated work of piecemeal.

The word 'amnesty' has been thrown around a lot lately as the immigration issue has floated to the surface of the political swamp. "Amnesty" is an official pardon for those who have committed a political offense. So, there is a huge argument over whether or not illegal immigration is just a political offense... they just don't know it yet.

From my readings and understanding of the current debate, there is a push right now to offer illegal immigrants a way to become legitimate resident aliens of the United States. Generally, the plans call for a fine (which will probably be relatively small) and a requirement to pay all owed taxes.

Among other things, President Bush is advocating some sort of path to citizenship plan as part of his Temporary Worker Program:
Some temporary workers will want to remain in America and pursue citizenship. They should not receive an unfair advantage over those who have followed the law, and they will need to be placed in line for citizenship behind those who are already in line. Those who choose the path of citizenship will have an obligation to learn the facts and ideals that have shaped America's history. (emphasis added)


So, the White House is calling for a path to citizenship for those currently in this country illegally or those who may enter as part of a future temporary worker program. But, advocates of such a system are quick to say that these immigrants would be at the back of the proverbial line.

I have read on occasion that this provision is built into the Senates "Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act of 2006" (S.2611) which passed in the Senate 62-36 on May 25th. But, if any of you have seen a cartoon on "How a Bill becomes a Law"... you will notice that the Senate and the House have to reconcile their bills. And, the Senate bill contains a lot of provisions that the House bill did not cover. So, there is a lot of work to do.

The Senate Bill included the Immigrant Accountability Act of 2006 when introduced which provides "permanent resident status adjustment for a qualifying illegal alien (and the spouse and children of such alien) who has been in the United States for five years and employed (with exceptions) for specified periods of time."

The current bill is gargantuan, and I have been unable in my short time to really pick out where that provision is currently.

Regardless, it does not seem like either the House or Senate is planning to push any of those currently living in the country illegally in front of you. Any program offering a path of citizenship to illegal immigrants should have a penalty attached as well as a provision that they are at the back of the proverbial line.

That said, may I advise you not to give up your place in line. If you truly desire to become a citizen of the United States of America, I would make it a priority and get it done. Until you have been sworn in as a citizen, your status in this country is in some measure of jeopardy.

I know it costs a lot. But, if it is something you want, I really think you should finish it.

However, some people enjoy advantages of living in the country without citizenship. I don't know what those advantages are, because I was born in the United States (and, therefore, can run for President after I turn 35). I'm sure some people have found an advantage to being in limbo (personally, it would drive me nuts). So, there is always a risk to your status in this country until you have taken the oath to become a citizen of the USA. Plus, then you can get a cool passport and vote for your local school board member.

I hope this makes sense to you. Under the current political climate, I do not see your position as a legal and naturalized alien to be in serious jeopardy. Illegal immigrants, if granted such a generous deal, should be in the proverbial line behind you. But, I wouldn't let them cut in that line by putting it off.

That is all.

Horatio the Immigration... um... semi-expert-guru-like-person...