"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #41310 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In regards to Board Question #41160, try looking on Ebay. I was in a situation where my phone was stolen and my carrier wouldn't give me any sort of discount, not even an early upgrade as I only had about 2 months left on my contract. I would research what phones Sprint currently offers, that way you know that the phone will work on Sprint (which is a CDMA network by the way). If the phone model isn't super high-tech, or high in demand, you can usually get a new one for not too much money. Good Luck!

- Duane Reade

Question #41306 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In regards to Question Board Question #41158 I've never had a horse that would eat an entire bale of hay in a single day. When we were feeding bales of hay we would feed a flake or two of hay two times a day. I found this site ( http://www.geocities.com/mshrr/care.html ), with information from CSU, that said a horse on average needs about 20 lbs of food a day, and an average bale of hay is about 50lbs. So a single bale of hay should last you at least 2 days. I would be worried if you had a horse eating 1-2 bales a day.

- Loves to ride

A: Dear Rider,

Thank you for the clarification on that.

Question #41302 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.


For Board Question #41145:

Funny, that like two days after I asked this, the release date was announced which is: December 5, 2007.

- Queen Lucy the Valiant

Question #41296 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In regards to Board Question #41161:

Elder Holland spoke at my stake conference just two Sundays ago and told this very story. I also heard him tell it when I was on my mission and he visited.

The way that the person remembers the story is more-or-less how Elder Holland himself told it about nine days ago. It happened when he was a pre-teen (about 10 or 11 years old) and it was the Sunday School president and another member of the ward who extended the calling to a then-inactive Holland Sr. In fact, Elder Holland's father smoked at the time.

To make a long story short (and because I can't tell it with all the meaning it has for the apostle), that calling reactivated Elder Holland's father. Yes, the two would later serve in England together in proselyting capacities.

The moral of the story: don't give up on inactives.

- Questioning

Question #41294 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

RE Board Question #41191 - I'm assuming the reader was referring to the Strengthening Church Members Committee which was highly controversial when the media first found out about it. Much of what you'll hear from anti-Mormon sources blow it up to be the new version of the Danites, with the committee executing jobs which result in people having them spied on, threatened, and strong armed into shutting up. The reality is, the Church keeps records of statements made against it publicly and probably takes disciplinary action against those who do so for apostasy.

-wired, who's heard it all when it comes to anti-Mormon assaults

Question #41292 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

About the oral health question in Board Question #41137:

As Laser Jock pointed out, you can definitely cause damage to your gums by over-brushing or over-flossing. Brush twice a day (maybe more if you eat something particularly sticky, etc...but definitely not necessary all the time) for 2 minutes. Use a soft bristled brush and don't scrub..plaque is actually really soft and will come off easily. Calculus is the hard stuff that needs to be scraped off by a hygienist or dentist...brushing hard won't get that off anyway.

To avoid bleeding, floss using a back and forth motion to get the floss into your tooth contacts...don't jam it in, that will cause bleeding.

Definitely don't go without brushing due to bleeding..the plaque will oxidize into calculus, and may cause real gum disease. By treating your mouth a little more gently, you should be fine again soon.

If financially possible, I would recommmend one of the sonic toothbrushes...they time brushing for you and are able to get your teeth cleaner without the harsh scrubbing.

-Wife of dentist

Question #41255 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

This is a comment in response to Yellow's answer to Board Question #41037.
I would say that article is really not worthy of reading, seeing as how D. Michael Quinn was excommunicated for apostasy in September of 1993.


A: Dear BoC,

Fair enough. Though I doubt you're going to find a church-sanctioned book called "Political Disputes among the Brethren, and How This Relates to Your Salvation."

Just because someone was excommunicated doesn't make them an automatic liar, though you should certainly take into account the source of the quote.

Question #41223 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is there any way to be rated as a kisser objectively? I've been told a few times that I kiss very well, but mostly by girls who had a vested intrest in my liking them at the time... Is there any way to know whether I really am decent, or do I just have to struggle with the problem of letting my ego inflate vs. talking myself down?

Hoping I'm good, but finding it hard to believe I'm THAT good...

A: Dear Hoping,

We can arrange that. twice dot marked at the board dot byu dot edu.

-twice marked
A: Dear Hoping,

Here's the thing. In order to be "objectively rated" it seems to me that you will either have to (1) kiss a whole lot of girls for the sole purpose of having your kissing rated or (2) kiss someone who's kissed a whole lot of guys for the sole purpose of rating their kissing. Neither situation strikes me as terribly healthy, emotionally or psychologically.

I don't argue the fact that some people are better kissers than others, but to what extent is that supposed to matter? If I have a loving, caring boyfriend, why should I care if some other guy is a 5% better kisser? (Or maybe my guy is a better kisser when he's kissing me because of our emotional connection, which wouldn't be there with anyone else.) In short, I don't see that you can so neatly separate osculatory prowess from the emotional component in a relationship.

- Katya
Question #41222 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I recently tried to send a pouch letter to a missionary friend. I got it returned to sender from Salt Lake saying that it didn't conform to the new regulations placed on pouch mail which began November 1st. I had never heard of these new rules. I tried googling it and asking my friends and came up with nothing. Do any of the writers here know what the new rules are and why they were put into place? Gracias!
- 50

A: Dear Fitty-

I had heard these new pouch rules somewhere, but I still can't figure out where. As it is, the only sources I'm digging out aren't quite official (family-to-missionary blogs [I feel so strange linking those]), but they corroborate one another and I figure that those families with missionaries they have to send pouch mail to are the ones who would actually know.

Anyway, the rules are these: Only postcards or single sheets of paper are allowed. Do not enclose these in envelopes; fold the paper (single sheet, remember) into thirds and tape it only on the top (not sides) with two pieces of tape not more than an inch from the ends. No other items (such as pictures) are allowed. Position the pouch address, return address, and stamp as you would on a normal envelope.

In my mind, those rules seem pretty specific to not update people on, but I guess they expect the missionaries to make sure those writing them know about it. Under the old rules, things such as photos, currency, stamps, or anything besides paper were not allowed either, but apparently people were breaking those rules too much (I know I've sent photos via pouch mail. Oops.), so they had to crack down and forbid envelopes. However, if you print the pictures on said sheet of paper, that's legit. The Church certifies to foreign officials that only documents are enclosed in pouch mail, so I suppose they want us to make sure we're keeping them honest. It's the least we can do; it is an amazingly convenient service they offer us.

Now, go send that missionary a letter. He needs it.

Question #41221 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

There never seems to be any attractive people of the opposite sex in my ward (no matter how many wards I go to, even friends'). But there are always a plethora on campus. Where do all of these people live? How can I meet them? Are there secret wards that these people attend?

- Hodag

A: Dear Hot Dog:

Wait, were you not aware that there was a Board Writers' ward? Well, there is. That is where all these attractive people that you've been seeing go to church. As if we'd tell you where we live--ha!

Dark Chocolate
A: Dear Old Man Trouble,

Maybe you're just too picky? Or maybe you only think married people are attractive and that's why you can't find them in any of your wards.... *shudder* That could be awkward.

It's true that Board Writers rank pretty high up there on the attractiveness scale. It's also true that my ward has some highly attractive people in it.

A: Dear,

The grass is hotter on the other side, huh?

A lot of the people who have been taught to take more care of their appearance are also the people who are lucky enough to be used to living with a higher income. Thus, though it sounds stereotypical, wards in more expensive neighborhoods may be likely to have people who are more attractive.

If that style of attractiveness isn't your cup of tea, I'd recommend asking the people on campus you do find attractive what apartment complex they live in. If they're unsure of your motives, you can tell them you're conducting an informal poll, or researching places to live, next time you move. Both are true, and neither is as worrying as saying "you look hot, and I want to live near you."

-songs of inexperience
Question #41220 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What do you do when you're done kissing? Goodnight kisses are easy enough; when you're done, you can just leave. But what about when you kiss and nobody's going anywhere afterwards? Should you say something? Should you cuddle? Hold hands? Give em a big thumbs up? Rate them on a scale of 1 to 10? Something else?

- Skank

A: Dear Kissy,

...kiss some more?

A: Dear Disreputable,

Goodnight kisses are easy enough; when you're done, you can just leave.
This saddens me. What will you do when you're married?

Dark Chocolate
A: Dear Saffron,

1. Hug.
2. Smile.
3. Continue (perhaps with conversation, for example) as normal.


-Kicks and Giggles
A: Dear Agi Hammerthief,

I recommend avoiding the thumbs up. Rating on a scale could also be really awkward, depending.

A: Dear Skank

Top Five Post-Snogging Activities/Reactions Guaranteed To Prevent Awkwardness:

5. Lean back and ask if the other person has a breath mint, then offer it to them.
4. Run out of the apartment screaming, "Hey neighbors, I just made out, now I'm going back for more!" Then return eagerly to your partner.
3. When your make out partner's roommate walks in on you, wait until they leave, then tell your make-out partner that their roommate was a better kisser.
2. Mention that your previous significant other had multiple tongue piercings. Then ask if your current significant other would be willing to allow you to pierce their tongue using kitchen utensils in an attempt to recreate your earlier experience.
1. Ask if they're up for trying to reenact famous screen kisses, starting with the upside-down Spider-Man kiss. Then begin testing the strength of lighting fixtures to find one you could hang off of.


Question #41215 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So they say you're not supposed to keep certain foods (like meat and things) at temperatures between like 40-70 degrees. How long is it ok to keep them at these bacterially-encouraging temperatures before the food is considered bad?

On Thanksgiving, my brother left the extra turkey out for a good 6 or 7 hours, just sitting on the table. And then he sent me home with some. But honestly, I'm scared to eat it...especially since it's a week old now.

But then I think, you know, when a large mass of hot food goes in the fridge, it probably spends a fair amount of time in that temperature range before going completely cold. And since I've been eating food out of the fridge for a couple of decades now, I think it's probably safe to eat things like that. But is there a guideline for how long things can be left unattended and unchilled?

-Down, Chuck! Good dog.

A: Dear Clancy,

Umm, actually, a good rule of thumb is to not keep left-overs for more than 3 or 4 days. So said my once roommate dietitian.

A: Dear Chuck,

By the time you read this, that turkey will be almost two weeks old anyway. Gross! You should have put it in the freezer ages ago.

A: Dear Chuck,

The Mayo Clinic's web site includes this on their page about food poisoning:
Harmful bacteria can reproduce rapidly if foods aren't properly cooled. Refrigerate or freeze perishable foods within two hours of purchasing or preparing them. If the room temperature is above 90 F, refrigerate perishable foods within one hour. Freeze ground meat, poultry, fish and shellfish unless you expect to eat it within two days. Freeze other beef, veal, lamb or pork within three to five days.
Of course, it's not a death sentence if you don't follow these guidelines. However, it's certainly the safest bet. You may be fine eating things after longer than that, but you also may not. Keep in mind we're not doctors or dietitians, so talk to someone professional about this if you have questions.

—Laser Jock
Question #41214 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Have you ever had the experience where you meet one person who is seemingly the exact double of another person?

I have two friends who are incredibly alike...it's almost creepy, really. They both do ballet, they have similar voices, facial expressions, sayings, musical tastes, and a million other things in common. It really creeped me out when friend A picked me up from my house, and the second I got in her car, I realized that she was listening to an extremely rare song that I thought only friend B knew. It's really weird.

So I always want to tell them about each other, especially when one does something in the likeness of the other, but I think it might be weird and they probably won't understand the significance of the situation. Do you think it would be weird?

Maybe I should introduce them to each other...that could have glorious consequences!

-Seeing Double

A: Dear Astfgl,

Do it. Tell them about each other, introduce them. It's such a blessing to find your other you. Take my word for it.

A: Actually, I'm going to advise against introducing them.

You, my friend, have stumbled upon a doppelgänger. The fact that you've seen them both is dangerous enough...it portends illness or danger for your friend. If they actually meet, however, death is certain to follow.

Pay attention next time to see which friend casts no shadow. Besides being a great song from Oasis, it's the surest sign that one of the two is, in fact, a ghostly double. It would be best to not associate with them anymore. Ghostly companions are not often good company.

A: Dear,

There is, of course, the possibility that one of them will be offended by your comparison when she meets the other. Introduce them, and mention one or two similarities, but be careful if you're going to say that they're practically the same person.

-Uffish Thought
A: Dear Seeing Double

Should Claudio's assertion of doppelgangerness be correct (and how could it not?), beware, one of them is evil, and may likely wish to kill the other. I saw it on an old Twilight Zone, so you should tread very carefully if you plan to introduce them. I'd have some sort of restraining devices at the ready.

-Humble Master
Question #41213 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you're in an FHE group that meets far, far away, your roommates don't go, you don't have a car, and the guy who said he would call you and give you a ride has yet to do so, what would you do?

I suppose I could call the ride guy...but I'm not even sure how regularly he attends. I heard our "dad" talking to him in the same please-come-for-once way he used on me. I don't know anyone else in the group.

-FHE Orphan

A: Dear Quetzovercoatl,

Tell your FHE dad you need a ride to get there. Then you can get to know everyone else in the group and have more ride options without feeling awkward!


Dear 100 Hour Board,

So when I walk into the library wearing my headphones (apple earbuds, if that makes a difference) and walk through the security sensor gate things, I hear a buzzing sound. This does not occur when I do not wear the earbuds. Are my earbuds channeling the waves from the security sensors and frying my brain?

- Duane Reade

A: Dear DR,

They're not frying your brain any more than regular noise does. See Board Question #8912 for an explanation.

- the librarian
Question #41211 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you're invisible, can you get sunburned?


A: Dear...something,

In my mind, it depends on how you became invisible. As there are numerous ways of accomplishing this, I think each should be taken separately:

Option the First: You are invisible because all light passes through you.

If this is the case, then ultraviolet radiation would be irrelevant. It, like all other parts of the electromagnetic spectrum, would pass straight through you. If this is the case, you are also likely to have the power of walking through solid matter. Good for you!

Option the Second: You are invisible because the visible portion of the electromagnetic spectrum passes through you.

If this is the case, then the UVA and UVB rays that cause sunburn would still affect you. You had better hope that you're one of the people that can turn clothes invisible with them, or you're in for some nasty burns in nasty places!

Option the Third: You are inside a wormhole.

If this is the case, then all light is being bent, which makes it less likely that it will come into direct contact with your skin. Also, you might be dead. We don't really know yet.

Option the Fourth: You are covered in metamaterials.

If this is the case, light is being bent around you without being absorbed or reflected off of you. UV would not apply, thus, no sunburn. Besides, you're completely covered anyway, so no need to worry about getting burned.

Option the Fifth: You are under an invisibility cloak (sorry Niffler, I beat you to it)

Again, totally covered up. No worries about getting burned. Besides, magic usually comes with automatic SPF 30. It's one of the benefits that is often forgotten. That's why Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all so pale!

So remember, unless light isn't touching you, it's still best to wear a good sunscreen when invisible.

ESPECIALLY if you can't make clothes invisible too.

A: Dear Claudio

What about the Invisible Woman on the Fantastic Four? Her "invisibility is achieved by bending all wavelengths of light (including infrared and ultraviolet radiation) around her body without causing any visible distortion; she also somehow directs enough undistorted light to her eyes to retain her sight while invisible." I'm pretty sure the bending of light around her would mean a no to the sunburn issue, but which of your categories would she fall into? Seems like a sort of mix of Options the Third and the Fourth, except she's not necessarily fully covered as you describe someone in Option the Fourth, thus perhaps allowing the possibility for burnage.

-Humble Master
A: Dear Humble Master,

I think that the lovely Ms. Richards has, due to her exposure to cosmic rays, achieved much of the benefit of Option the Fourth without any of the downsides. I do think that the curvature of light around her body prevents her from being sunburned, but she should probably wear sunglasses, or she's cruising for some nasty cataracts.

Besides, Sue is most often wearing her trademark skintight suit, which covers everything but her face. While she may suffer a bit of a farmer's tan from that limited bit of light that she can direct to her eyes, she's not likely to get a severe sunburn with most of the light being bent around her instead of coming into contact with her.

A: Dear Claudio,

I should curse you for that, you smelly git.

Dear ate a Ton-Tongue Toffee,

Oh sure, Claudio covered invisibility cloaks, but we all know how rare a good one of those actually are. What Claudio didn't mention is when people can go invisible without invisibility cloaks. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, page 213: "I don't need an cloak to become invisible," said Dumbledore gently. Or page 129: "There was a pop, and a little man with wicked, dark eyes and a wide mouth appeared, floating cross-legged in the air, clutching the walking sticks." Or let's even jump to Order of the Phoenix page 540 about Fred and George's Headless Hats: "How do those hats work, then?" said Hermione distracted from her homework and watching Fred and George closely. "I mean, obviously it's some kind of Invisibility Spell, but it's rather clever to have extended the field of invisibility beyond the boundaries of the charmed object..."

The important part behind all of these instances is that the person (or object) that is invisible is still there. Now, sure, you could argue that what we see is simply a reflection of light, thus, if you can't see werf, light isn't reflecting off of werf. And if light isn't reflecting off of werf, werf can't get a sunburn. However, I am not convinced that the light isn't hitting the person. I think there are one of at least two possibilities here:

1) It is simply a trick of the eyes. (Hullo! This is magic we're talking about!) The light is still hitting the person, thus the person can still get a sunburn.

2) Let's go back to the reflection of light. We've already established that the person is still there; we just can't see werf. If we're seeing the scenery behind the invisible person, then the light must be reflecting off of that surface, and thus passing through the invisible person. I'm guessing if UV rays can cause sunburns just by touching skin, surely they can when passing through skin.

So, I'm gonna say yes--you can still get a sunburn if you're invisible. But I'm sure there's a sunscreen spell of sorts out there. (Claudio, I dare you to find proof that magic comes with SPF 30. I would lean to believe that it can be done, but not as a default.)

- Niffler

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Where can I find a copy of the album "Min Irhabi?" by DAM? I have tried searching all over the internet and I cannot find anywhere that sells this album.

- Me

A: Dear Me-

For everyone's knowledge, DAM is the first Palestinian Rap group.

Well, Me, the reason you're having trouble finding an album called "Meen Erhabe" (translation: "who's the terrorist?") is because that's actually a song title, not an album. The group only last year released their first album, "Dedication," which you can buy from their site. Note that the track you specified isn't actually on the album; it was originally available for download, but I can't find an mp3 anywhere anymore. You can watch it here, in the meantime. If anyone can find a link to the song that's not broken, let us know.

Interesting music, to be sure. I just can't figure out why if it was Me asking, I didn't just answer my own question...

-Foreman, anxiously awaiting a normal, American, rock and roll music question to answer.
posted on 10/27/2012 6:05 p.m.
You can purchase this song on iTunes by searching for "min imhabi" (yes, spelled incorrectly).
Question #41207 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the quickest way to get the heater blowing warm air? In the morning my brother and I used to argue about whether it heated up faster when you turned it on high, low, of left it off from the beginning. So which is the fastest (maybe not either)?

- Lucy Pevensie

A: Dear Lucy,

According to this site, a the heating system for your car is a secondary cooling system for your engine. Basically, the heater core takes hot coolant from your cylinder head, blows a fan through it (which gives you the hot air in the cabin), and then returns it to the pump.

What that means is that your car isn't actually going to heat up until the heater core is filled with hot coolant. If the fan is blowing on the core the whole time the car is on (i.e., you turn on the heat full blast as soon as you get in), you're actually blowing cold air against something you want to warm up, keeping it cooler longer. If you don't turn on the fan, however, the heater core can warm up without any cold air blowing across it, meaning it will likely warm up faster.

Of course, it's not likely that either way is going to make THAT much difference. But you know, when you're cold, that few seconds matters a lot.

A: Dear Diamond Girl,

See also Board Question #32605.

-=Optimus Prime=-
A: Dear Optimus Prime,

Aw, man! I hate it when that happens.

Question #41205 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In reference to Board Question #41088, I grew up watching A Muppet Family Christmas every year and wholeheartedly second Humble Master's recommendation.
With that said, I think it should be known that the version that they sell on Amazon (and show on TV) is not the full original; it is cut. There's a whole plotline, one of my favorites, involving the Christmas turkey, which is completely gone. We had a copy we taped off of TV when I was little, and the quality of our old VHS is starting to decline. Do you know if there is any place to find the original version or preserve our copy?

- The Post-it Note

A: Dear Post-It Note

The DVD version in my possession retains the turkey plot-line. At least, I'm assuming it's the turkey plot-line you're referring to. There's a full plot-line involving the Christmas Turkey in the version I have, and I can't imagine there were originally two turkey plot-lines (incidentally, the scene where the turkey introduces the Swedish Chef to Big Bird is classic).

Usually if a film or television show is cut for time, it's only on TV, the versions sold in stores retain the original running time (example: The Charlie Brown Thanksgiving shown on ABC this year was missing a sequence in which Snoopy and Woodstock put on Thanksgiving costumes which is alive and well in my DVD version). It's cut shorter for television because the amount of ad time sold per half hour of television now is greater than when the specials were originally produced. If you wish to transfer your VHS to DVD, well you most likely know someone who does video editing on their computer (everyone knows someone who does that now), so you could ask them. Or you could try the BYU library.

-Humble Master
Question #41203 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

By my good fortune (and having enough credits to register early) I was able to enroll in Beginning Piano here at BYU. I am really excited about this class because I love to play the piano, but with only one year of "piano lessons" I'm not that good and am looking to get better.

However, my question for you, is have any of you taken the beginning piano class? What is it like? What should I expect from this class? Thanks so much!!

- Alishka Babushka

A: Dear The Abbot,

I took it. It was easy. REALLY easy. If you have any piano experience at all, you should have no problem getting an A in the class. Even if you don't have any experience, you should still have no problem getting an A. They start out really basic and really slow, and since classes are so small you can get pretty much all of the individual help you may or may not need.

Question #41202 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How much does Michael Buffer make for saying LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE?

A: Dear Nameless Boxer-

Michael Buffer: legend of the Boxing announcer world. People (myself included, until lately) may have no idea what his name actually is, but ain't nobody don't recognize that bellow!

From this guy (he's a sportswriter, he must know), Buffer makes $25,000 (plus expenses) to say his literally-trademarked line.

Just to kick it up a notch (BAM!), he's also done work for the NBA, NFL, NHL, WCW Wrestling, NASCAR, Indy 500, and MLB; plus multiple CDs, video games and movies, which I'm sure don't hurt his earnings at all. According to this site, "[b]y 1999, Bruce [his brother and business partner] and Michael working together had generated more than $400 million in sales."

Basically, the answer to your question is: a lot.

Question #41201 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, there is this new (I am assuming new because I haven't heard before) Christmas song that is just driving me nuts. It is set to *shudder* Pachelbels's cannon, sung by a boys? choir, not really sure. All I do know is it is to Canon in D, and there is this annoying ossiato part sung by I am guessing boy sopranos with the text along the lines of "this is christmas day, christmas day, because this is christmas day, this is christmas day, christmas day, because this is christmas day....."

Any idea who sings it, or what song it is, and why it is so popular this Xmas season? I find it murderous on my ears, and I just HAVE to find it so I can play it for my roomates.

Cool. Thanks a bagillion.

- Basso Continuo

A: Dear Basso Continuo-

My best bet is that you're referring to "Christmas Canon" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It's from the album The Christmas Attic. It's not exactly the words you transcribed, but I can't possibly imagine that this isn't it (I'm listening to it now).

Also, TSO should probably be forgiven for this song on account of the awesomeness that is "Christmas Eve/ Sarajevo 12/24."

Enjoy pummeling your roomies' eardrums!

A: Dear Basso Continuo,

Yeah, I'm seconding the Christmas Canon vote. The actual words are "On this night, on this night, on this very Christmas night..." etc. If that's not the song you're thinking of, then it must be a parody of it.

As for why it's so popular, well, I heard it last year and the year before that too, so I don't think it's anything new. Sorry.

Merry Christmas anyway!

A: Dear Basso-

Yellow is correct regarding the age of the song. As I neglected to mention, The Christmas Attic album came out in 1998. Hope that wraps everything up.

Question #41200 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Have you noticed that for the most part, that toilet paper dispensers in public bathrooms are way too low? Is there any justification for giving it only 8 inches of clearance from the nasty ground? Am I the only one who gets upset by this? I mean, can't it be higher? I am sure an extra foot wont make it out of reach for anyone.

- Confuzzled

p.s. hopefully this isn't too weird? edit if needs be.

A: Dear Granny Aching,

Public restrooms are nasty and full of germs. You should avoid them at all costs.

A: Dear,

Yes, it bugs me, too. If the toilet paper is touching the ground, I rip off the end and flush it without using it. If it's not, I pull it out sideways, and I'm careful to make sure it doesn't touch the floor. Yeech, restroom floors.

-Uffish Thought
A: Dear Confuzzled

I thought I'd raise a voice of dissension and say I haven't noted abnormally low toilet paper dispensers in public restrooms. I'm not saying they don't exist, I just didn't want it to seem like there's a wide-spread epidemic going on.

-Humble Master
Question #41190 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My husband is in his second year of medical school and will be taking the Boards (USMLE) this coming Spring. All we know is that he can take them within a specified period of time (we are pretty sure it's from May-beginning of July). Anyway, we are also trying to plan a family vacation before he starts doing his rounds in early July. My husband wants to take the USMLE at the last possible opportunity before we go on vacation, but we can't really plan the vacation until he knows what his options are for taking the test. Can he really take the test at any time in those 3 months? Are there only certain days of the week he can take the exam? Do spots fill up on certain days, forcing students to choose another day? We have searched the USMLE website and can't find any answers. Help!!


A: Dear IMAQT,

Here is what I was able to find out:

1. Yes, you are able to take the USMLE exam during the alloted three month period.
2. They do not like it when you ask questions unless you are a medical student actually looking to take the exam.
3. This is a pretty good site with some advice on how/when to take this exam.
4. You have to get a permit in order to schedule exams and once you have it then you can schedule and take tests through the Prometric website/testing facilities.
5. Here are two of the Utah Prometric locations for taking the test (there are two others that I didn't list):

201 SOUTH 1460 EAST
SALT LAKE CITY, UT 84112-9059
Phone: 801-581-7310

350 SOUTH 400 WEST
LINDON, UT 84042
Phone: 801-226-2095

6. If you are not in Utah then you can look up other locations on the Prometric website. However, when you are selecting the test you will need to select "STEP1" instead of looking under USMLE. (Unless you are trying to take STEP2, in which case you look under STEP2.)

7. According to one of the nice receptionists that I talked to at the Prometric center in Lindon, the USMLE STEP1 test is an all day test so there is a good possibility that it would start at 9AM. She said that their center is open Monday through Saturday. I would assume that yes, certain days do fill up so you would probably want to go ahead and call or go online and schedule an appointment!

8. This telephone number will connect you to someone who can help answer other questions for you about the actual exam: (215) 590-9700 If you get frustrated (like I did) then keep on pushing zero until it takes you to an operator.

Hopefully some of that information will help you and your husband out!

Question #41182 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,
I want to make my computer folders more interesting, but I can't find a good way to search for icons online. I've found a few sites that have thousands of icons, but they take forever to search through. Where can I get an icon of the U.S. Capitol, for instance?

A: Dear Friend:

Doot doot dooooot!

Question #41139 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My dad's Jewish, my Mom's LDS, and my whole family is white. In my eyes, I am multicultural but not necessarily multiracial. Do you think I'm multicultural enough to get a scholarship for next semester? If so, what kind should I look at?

- hopefully multi-scholarshipped soon

A: Dear Looking for Moolah:

Here is the response I received from emailing the Multicultural Office at BYU:
Thanks for looking into this; Í’m always happy to share about our office. Almost 3 years ago the Board of Trustees passed what is called The University Statement on Fostering an Enriched Environment (see here). This statement is now the lens through which we look at students for our funding. Our focus is the "cultural, ethnic, and racial" side of things, but we also consider others as well based on their own unique backgrounds. I would inform your student that she will most definitely be considered in our holistic review as we look at students for funding. We cannot guarantee anybody money because we doń’t know what the future brings with funding and applicants, but she will be looked at. All she would need to do is fill out the BYU Comprehensive Scholarship Application and the FAFSA and that is all. I hope that answers the question, but please let me know if you have any others.

Sam Brown
Multicultural Student Services
samuel (underscore) brown (at) byu (dot) edu
Good luck!

Question #41124 posted on 12/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have read the stories that have been published on the 100-hour board about the librarian security guards and the Board Writer Horror Story, but I would like an even more real and applicable horror story, if possible: What would happen if all board writers that are currently students at BYU got the exact same schedule next semester, comprised of classes chosen by the current (or past) board writers that have left this fine university? What would those classes be? Keep in mind the 18-credit limit for most students.

I await an entertaining story and entertaining responses, if an omniscient board writer feels obliged.

- Larry the Cucumber

A: Dear Larry,

Since this is a fictional tale, we'll ignore traditional bureaucratic hinderments to the ideal schedule, such as prerequisites and declared majors. We're taking it a step further than you requested, and in this fairy tale, all the BYU alumni writers now hold PhDs and are now tenure-track faculty at BYU. That's right, the classes consist entirely of Board writers, and are taught by past and present Board writers. First, the schedule:

HEB 130: Introduction to Hebrew
Credits: .5
MWF 12-12:50 PM 125 HRCB
Instructor: Dragon Lady

RUSS 321: Third Year Russian, Part 1
Credits: 2
TTH: 11-11:50 AM B142 JFSB
Instructor: Katya, the Physics Chick

VAStu 330R Book Binding
Credits: 3
T 4-7:50 PM B67
Instructor: Duchess

HST 380: Popular Culture in America
Credits: 3
TTH 2-4 PM 275 MARB
Instructor: Humble Master

VASTU 394R - Special Problems in Art (Underwater Basket Weaving)
Credits: .5
MWF 12:00-12:50 PM
Instructor Dragon Lady

PSYCH 490: Psychology and Film
Credits: 3
TTH: 8-10 AM 1053 SWKT
Instructor: Supershrink

ELang 525: Old English
Credits: 3
TTH 10-11 AM B160 JFSB
Instructor: A.A. Melyngoch

CS 750: Computer Vision 2
Credits: 3
Th 4-7:50 PM 373 MARB
Instructor: Optimus Prime

Astute readers may have noted a few scheduling quirks that have befallen the poor writer students in the scenario. Most significantly, they are in classes from 8-8 on Tuesday and Thursday. And somehow Dragon Lady is teaching two different classes, five days a week, for a grand total of 1 credit hour. But that's how the cookie crumbles sometimes, sorry DL.

As for the class dynamics...they're interesting. Due to some restraints the 100 Typing Monkeys only attend the Psychology class offered in the SWKT. They snicker whenever CATS' name is called and nobody replies. Other than that, at the start of the semester everything is peachy, but as it becomes apparent that everyone in the class is well-informed, opinionated, and out-spoken, tensions rise throughout the semester.

The first incident comes when in the Popular Culture class, which, though it carries a heavy comic book/graphic novel emphasis, explores many different areas of popular culture. During a class discussion on music, Cognoscente makes a disparaging remark about the Beatles in response to a question about their influence, which Claudio and Foreman take issue with. As we all know, when the Beatles are maligned in a public setting a fist fight inevitably results. This is no exception. Cognoscente, Claudio, Foreman, and Kicks and Giggles had taken to sitting in the corner to discuss music together (even when it was Cold War Era Superhero discussion day), which meant that Claudio was already in close range to land a blow. Foreman, who is ever the gentleman except when the Beatles' honor is on the line, double teams Cognoscente. As those three continue to rough house Kicks and Giggles cries out that her opinions on music are also well-founded and shouldn't be ignored.

Azriel is quite put-off by the display of masculinity and music-pride. However she is torn between two competing impulses: to run from the chaos, and to try and quietly restore order to the chaos (not by stopping the fist-fight mind you, but by straightening the chairs that have been thrown into disarray by the fist fight). She is so torn that she decides to not move and hope nobody looks in her direction.

Yellow takes control of the situation and refuses to accept any more comments concerning the question that started the fight. The Cleaning Lady comes in and takes care of Azriel's latter impulses.

The next most significant moment comes near the end of the semester. Portia has a nervous breakdown because, oddly enough, the .5 credit course in underwater basket weaving is all too stressful. One day she snaps, grabs Dragon Lady and begins dunking her in water screaming, "My GPA is already less than what I'd like because of last Fall! Do you even realize how stressful dry basket weaving is? You've added water to the mix! I am honestly feeling a bit panicked even thinking about it! My friend's sister lost her scholarship because of it! Noooo!" Fortunately, the class quickly springs to Dragon Lady's defense.

Other than that, the semester is largely uneventful. The class is made up of smart-alecks and know-it-alls, which doesn't make the teachers' jobs easy, but in the end all the students pass every class. But I will never teach the Beatles in a popular culture course again.

-Humble Master