"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #41504 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Regarding Board Question #41344,

As an ex-painter, I can attest to the fact that making ceilings perfectly flat is the quite possibly the most aggrivating thing in the world. Not only do you have to patch something above your head (awkward), but sanding the joint compound on a ceiling means covering your entire body in white dust, coughing your lungs out, picking white goo from your eyes for the rest of the day, and blowing white stuff out of your nose for hours. It's quite the experience, really.

Not to mention the fact that all that overhead sanding makes your arm hurt like crazy, and the dust dries the heck out of your skin. It's so much easier just to spray a little texture and make everything blend in than making the effort to get everything perfectly smooth. Think of the painters, man! Those poor helpless painters!

-Red, yellow, blue

Question #41488 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Board Question #41328: If you don't mind shopping on-line for Euro candies, pastries, etc. Try the following two sites. My favorite is Malincho where I like to buy Milka Chocolate Triolade.

http://www.eurofoodmart.net/
http://malincho.com/
- Janeway

Question #41487 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

In Board Question #41371 it was mentioned that you should leave the toothpaste on (without really rinsing) so the fluoride has time to activate. This isn't really true. You know when you are at the dentist and they leave a fluoride paste on for a minute-ish? Same thing. If you are spending an appropriate time on brushing (2 mins.) then the toothpaste will do its job.

It's actually really important to rinse well after brushing, because otherwise you leave plaque and bacteria in there.

Dental resident

Question #41483 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Re Board Question #41329

With all due respect Cognoscente, I highly respect your opinion on matters musical, but I strongly disagree with your advice on headphones.

I would suggest that the reader head over to the head-fi forums. (http://www.head-fi.org/forums/) This is probably the worlds largest collection of audiophiles, some of which spend $1000+ on a set of headphone and amps. None of them will suggest Bose headphones. Ever. Why? Because they are not worth the money.

As far as economy headphones go, these are the ones that I have seen suggested on head-fi as budget phones:

Koss KSC-75 ~$20 (I have these and they are excellent. They are also probably the most recommended headphone on head-fi. In fact, in my opinion everyone should have a set.)
Creative EP-630 ~$30
Sennheiser PX 100 ~$40
JVC Marshmallow ~$20 (Somewhat variable quality it seems.)
Sennheiser CX300-B ~$50

- Fredjikrang

A: Dear Fredjikrang,

I agree: Bose is good, but there are other brands that offer better quality for cheaper.

I'd also suggest HeadWize as another good place to try for information on headphones, especially their main forum.

—Laser Jock
Question #41426 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am a psychology major and I have to take Psych 301 (Psychological statistics) My question is whether or not it would be a good idea to take Stats 105 before this class or Math 110. I don't actually need to take either of the classes because I fulfilled it though my ACT score. I haven't take Math for 3 years though and it has never been my strongest subject. Any advice?


-Bad at math

A: Dear math-challenged,

I wouldn't take any of those classes to prepare. Psych 301 is really... not that complicated. I think the most complicated thing you do arithmetic-wise is square roots. So if you have problems with squaring or square-rooting numbers, you might want to take Math 110. Psych 301 is a bunch of plug-and-chug that makes you feel like you know what statistics are about (well, it was for me). Good luck!

-The Supershrink
Question #41425 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why is football called football in the U.S., but real football (soccer) is not given its rightful name? Who decided to call it football anyway?

- Me

A: Dear Myself:

I hereby refer you to Wikipedia, wonderful source of this sort of knowledge.
"The word originally referred to a variety of games in medieval Europe, which were played on foot. These sports were usually played by peasants, as opposed to the horse-riding sports more often played by aristocrats. This explanation is supported by the fact that the word football has always implied a wide variety of games played on foot, not just those that revolved around kicking a ball."
Using "football" for soccer because you kick it with your foot appears to be a false etymology.
The rules of football were codified in England by the Football Association in 1863, and the name association football was coined to distinguish the game from the other forms of football played at the time, specifically rugby football. The term soccer originated in England, first appearing in the 1880s as a slang abbreviation of Association football.
So, we could call soccer Association football if we felt like it, but we don't.
Today the sport is generally known simply as football in countries where it is the most popular football code. In countries where other codes are more popular, the sport is more commonly referred to as soccer.
You can't stop slang. These other countries to which you refer started the tradition of calling what we know as football just that.

Sorry, self, but there is not "real" football. Rugby, soccer, and football are all games played on foot, so they all are perfectly valid. Though you obviously prefer soccer, none of them have any sort of linguistic monopoly.

---Portia, the non-athlete
Question #41424 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

100 Hour Board,

I have a problem. I speak with a terrible southern accent. My fiance told his friends behind my back, or so he thought, that he did not know how he would handle my voice for the rest of eternity. I cried so much that night. "Lord help me," I screamed out into the blackness of the sky above me. Sometimes I want to slit my wrists--ya'll know what I mean, right? Anyhow, please give me advice. Should I A) Marry this boy and cry every night, B) Kill myself, or C) Get a voice transplant. Do you know about voice transplants? How much are they? Thank you all for your time. With love,

-Yellow Eyes

A: Dear Freaky Eyes,

Personally, I'd be a little more worried about the fact that I have yellow eyes.

-The Cheeky Chickie
A: Dear not a brown eyed girl,

What on earth is wrong with a southern accent? Everyone in my family sounds like they came straight from "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" There is no shame with having a southern accent! I cannot believe that someone has managed to convince you that it isn't a wonderful thing. It is a beautiful sound to hear a southern accent. I have a southern accent.

And if the person you are planning on marrying doesn't love your accent then perhaps you could do one of the following two options:
1. Beat him over the head with a stick until he loves it.
OR
2. Make him live down south until he develops an accent of his own.

Live the accent, speak the accent, love the accent! Get it?

~Krishna
A: Dear incandescent irises,

Your man was being pretty thoughtless. You should probably call him out on it and ask for an apology. Not to make a big thing about it or whatever, but just to get it out of the way. Let him know how his comment made you feel so you can both put it behind you and laugh about it instead of cry about it.

You can get voice training and/or speech therapy to eliminate accents. How else do you think all TV reporters sound exactly the same? That said, there is nothing wrong with speaking the way you do. Be happy and proud of your roots and cultural heritage.

Just wait 'til you spend holidays with your side of the family. Then you can all gang up on the Yankee and make fun of him.

-Cognoscente
A: Dear cat,

For what it's worth, I think a southern accent on a girl is kind of hot.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #41419 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear Female 100 Hour Board members,

I've been reading through a few of the posts and I have a question for the girls out there.

Under the most ideal of situations, you are walking on campus , a guy stops you, and asks you out. This is completely out of the blue, you've never seen this guy before. However he is as attractive as, say, Bismark. Do you accept?


- Hodag

A: Dear Hodag,

Nope. I care about personality a lot more than looks, and I've no guarantee that I'll enjoy spending time with this guy. (On the contrary, anyone who would ask me out so randomly is probably someone I won't get along with.)

- Katya
A: Dear Hodag,

I'm not sure if I would say yes if he looked like Bismark, but if he was my type and presented a great reason for wanting to go out with me then I would certainly have to think about it. Also, if we were on BYU Campus so that it was safe to assume that he was a BYU student, then that would be a bit more in his favor. If someone randomly asked me out in downtown New York I'd be more inclined to run away.

-The Cheeky Chickie
A: Dear Hodag,

If I were not already dating someone else, I might, but only because I was too taken aback to say no, and I would curse myself for accepting forever after, because that is just a slightly creepy and stalkerish way to ask someone out.

-Tangerine
A: Dear Hodag ~

Oh sure, why not?

~ Dragon Lady
A: Dear,

If we chatted for a few minutes and got along pretty well, I'd consider meeting him for a low-key lunch or a group thing or an on-campus activity like a play or something. Especially if it were in the middle of the semester, and I was itching to make new friends.

-songs of inexperience
Question #41418 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am studying abroad in Paris next year (with BYU). I am required to take a prep class during the second block of next semester. What goes on in this prep class?

- miss buonarroti

A: Dear Lucky:

It is a very fun, easy class. Your grade is based entirely on attendance. Different students come in and tell you what to expect in France, and you have readings about the culture. You'll learn about meals, passports, booking flights, how to behave around French people, and the personality of your director and fellow travelers.

I would talk Paris with you any time: portia (at) theboard (dot) byu (dot) edu

Bonne chance, mon ami(e)!

---Portia
Question #41416 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I've always wondered about this, and I'm wondering what your opinions are: my patriarchal blessing declares my lineage by saying my birthright blessings come from Ephraim, but there is blood from other tribes of Israel as well. What do you think that means? If it makes a difference, my mom is a convert, and also part Middle Eastern.

- Confused

A: Dear Confused,

Here's my guess (and it is only that): Genetically speaking, it's pretty easy to see why you'd have ancestors from several tribes of Israel. However, most American Mormons come from the tribe of Ephraim, and you have the same birthright blessings as that community.

- Katya
Question #41414 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If someone who was baptized but not endowed dies, does werf's family still have to wait a year to do werf's endowment (there's probably a better word than "do" that I should have used)? I'm thinking of, for example, an 18 year old single girl who would have had no reason to receive her endowment before she died. I'm just asking out of idle curiosity; I don't actually know anyone in this situation.

- Lisa S. - no, wait, that's too obvious, let's call her L. Simpson

A: Dear Daughter of Homer,

Yes, werf's family would need to wait a year no matter what the circumstances; even if werf was about to receive werf's endowment for one reason or another, the year-long waiting period stands.

~Hermia
Question #41413 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Typing Monkeys,

Can you send the following message to CATS?

Dear CATS,
Help is on the way. The 100 Typing Monkeys will never know what hit them. CATS move every zig, remember?
Wishing you the best,
A devoted fan

100 Typing Monkeys - you have been warned...

- That Curious Cat, who wants to hear from CATS again!

A: Dear Curious Cat,

Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness, however, I am no longer in need of any help. 100 Typing Monkeys was ever so kind and he helped me find the error of my ways. I believe he called it... brainwashing? He said my brain is nice and clean! I like clean. Now I spend most of my days reading classic English literature, helping nice old ladies cross dangerous intersections, caring for animals at the local shelter, and donating to small insignificant charities. I wish you the best of luck! Thank you 100 Typing Monkeys! You're the best!

Sincerely,
-CATS
A: Dear 100 Hour Board Readers,

It's a Christmas Miracle!! Did you read that grammar? This makes the #13 incident forgivable.

-100 Typing Monkeys
A: Dear 100 Typing Monkeys,

Me? A miracle?! Why, thank you!

The real miracle though is the power of friendship. Friends are so important. They help us become better people than we are and they lift us up when we are down. And that is exactly what you've done for me 100 Typing Monkeys. You're fantastic! In fact, everyone is fantastic. I am just so glad that I can share all I have with MY friends.

By the way, friend, what was the #13 incident of which you speak?

Sincerely,
-CATS
A: CATS,

Our friend, and we do not hesitate to call you such any longer, as far as we are concerned there was no #13 incident. You should never think of it again (and after another "friendship" session or two we are confident you never will).

CATS, we are coming to see you as the Guildenstern to our Rosencrantz, the Romulus to our Remus. We find the new CATS so delightful we would like to extend honorary membership to you. We would like you to become the 101st member of our group. CATS, will you accept the honor, so that we might become 100 Typing Monkeys and Friend? If this works out, don't be surprised if an offer of Honorary Monkeyhood comes your way, and we simply become 101 Typing Monkeys. Of course, CATS, you would have to prove yourself worthy of that highest non-sapian honor, but we trust you can be that good.

-100 Typing Monkeys
Question #41411 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

U2 has a song called "One". I'm sure that most of you have heard it...if not I recommend listening to it right now. I heard a rumor that this song was written about a relationship that one of the band members had with a Mormon girl. Apparently she wouldn't marry him unless he became temple worthy, and he was unable to do so, and she broke up with him...and he wrote One about her.

My question is, do you have any verification or information about this story? Even if you have never heard of that...you have to admit that there are some lines that could definitely allude to the LDS temple.

For example:

"Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus
to the lepers in your head?"

"We're one but we're not the same
Sisters...brothers"

"You say love is a temple
Love a higher law"

All of those (as well as several other parts of the song) are very interesting...

information?

Thanks!
-The Sweetest Thing

A: Dear The Sweetest Thing,

I am no pop music expert like others on the Board, but I was intrigued by your question and thought I would do some research, digging, and thinking myself. I have never heard this theory but I will admit, as you say, that one could definitely see it as an allusion to various points in the LDS faith. However, after reading a lot of other's ideas about it, I would have to say there is no verification (or mention, that I can find) that this is about a band member not being able to marry a Mormon girl because he couldn't go to the temple. In fact, a lot of people think it is about a gay son coming out of the closet, talking with his father. Some think it's about AIDs in one form or another. Here are some quotes about the song from the band itself. And yes, there is a quote from GQ.

"Is it true that 'One' was played over the radio a lot during the Los Angeles riots?" the singer [Bono] asked, referring to the most acclaimed song from the Achtung Baby album, and one of the songs on the list.

"That's what I heard from some friends," he added, "which is surprising because I never saw the song as something hopeful or comforting. To me, it was a very bitter song."

[...]

Edge: It was a very pivotal song in the recording of the album -- the first sort of breakthrough in what was an extremely difficult set of sessions in Berlin. I like the lyric a lot because it treads a very fine line between becoming too clear, too jingoistic, but in the end it never does... stays personal.

Bono: We spoke about this before. It is a song about coming together, but it's not the old hippie idea of "Let's all live together." It is, in fact, the opposite. It's saying, "We are one, but we're not the same." It's not saying we even want to get along, but that we have to get along together in this world if it is to survive. It's a reminder that we have no choice.

(from "U2's Pride (In The Name Of Songs); Achtung, Babies: Bono And Edge Evaluate One Critic's Choices For The Group's 10 Best Recordings, From 'I Will Follow' To 'One'" by Robert Hilburn, Los Angeles Times, September 12, 1993)

Recorded in Hansa Studios, formerly a Nazi mess hall, the song came from nowhere. Bono had a couple of middle-eights that fitted together, and it was while fiddling around with these mongrel tunes that the inordinately emotive lyrics of "One" began to seep through. "They just fell out of the sky," says Bono. "A gift from above."

This much he knows: the Dalai Lama had asked U2 to participate in a festival called "Oneness." Having sensed the unsavoury whiff of hippiedom, Bono sent back a note saying, "One -- but not the same." Unconsciously, this became his hook. As the melody flowed, he was thinking about untouchable sadness, disharmony and disease and relationships that end too soon. Within half an hour, they had recorded the bare bones of what Noel Gallagher now calls "the greatest song ever written."

(from "Gold in the House", GQ Magazine, October 2001)

Bono: There were a couple of things going on, and as usual I meant to resolve them, but the best U2 songs seem to occupy this place of contradictions. I had a lot of things going on in my head at the time, about forgiveness, about father and son angst. I was trying to write a story song I think, and I'm just not good at that. The lyrics came really quickly. The humbling bit about songwriting is that anything above good usually feels like an accident. A lot of U2 songs are first drafts.

(from an interview on All That You Can't Leave Behind, Amazon UK)

What do I think? I think U2 likes writing songs that have a million different meanings. I'd also like to believe it is not about a homosexual kid. All in all, I think it's a great song. I mean, come on, Rolling Stone has it as 36 on their list of 500 greatest songs of all time.

- steen
A: Dear Rubber Ball,

See also Board Question #19495.

- the librarian
Question #41410 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board, Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity, or the Librarian,

I think you've answered before why women used to faint so much, but I can't find the answer anywhere in your archives.

So, why is it that women used to faint so much (or at least that's what stories would have us believe) and don't anymore?

- Poor Archive-Searcher

A: Dear pooreos,

The closest response I could find was Board Question #19238, basically stating that it's not true. I think the reason was simply a gender stereotype (the "weaker sex") that has fallen out of fashion.

-=Optimus Prime=-
A: Dear Phinneas,

Ok, duh. Everybody knows it's because of those dang corsets they were always wearing, which made it difficult to take deep breaths and led to a lack of oxygen reaching the brain, causing them to faint all the time. The stereotype has just carried over from when everyone was wearing corsets.

-Kicks and Giggles
A: Top 5 Reasons Women Were Prone to Spells of Fainting in the Days of Yore

5. There was less oxygen on the Earth. But, oddly enough, women more commonly encountered the pockets of non-oxygen than men.
4. Before the International Confederation of Wizards' Statute of Secrecy of 1692, wizards that indulged in muggle-baiting and other pranks were more prevalent and often used the stupefy charm. And they were more misogynistic.
3. Obviously the lack of personal hygiene produced odors strong enough to make women with sensitive sniffers pass out. Women ceased fainting around the time of deodorant's invention.
2. There is no difference in the rate of fainting from the past to today, women are just better at looking like they're upright and conscious when they faint today.
1. Men looked really good back in the day. Swooning good.

-Loki
Question #41409 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How do I make my byu email address(s?) forward to my new gmail account? Is it something to do with the alias manager?

A: Dear ,

Yes, it is everything to do with Alias Manager. Log into Route Y and click on E-mail Alias Manager under the Communication tab.

You should see your byu.edu/byu.net email address(es) listed under "Alias Address." Under "Forwards To" you should type in your Gmail address. Then click on the "Lookup/Make Changes" button to save your changes.

Cheers,

-Tangerine
Question #41407 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How often do you change your bed sheets?

- Texas Housewife

A: Dear TH,

Whenever I feel like it! Gosh!

- Katya
A: Dear Tex,

I wonder if we're all afraid to answer this for fear of having the wrong answer...

In the summertime (when the weather is hot): every week to every other week.
In the wintertime: once a month.

That's right, I said it. I have no idea how good/bad that is...but it's how I roll.

-Claudio
A: Dear TH,

Once a week.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Texas

Whenever Mrs. Master says its time to change the sheets (this is a foolproof method that is vastly superior to the method I used in my bachelor days, which was to change the sheets when they smelled like it was time for a change).

-Humble Master
A: Dear Texas Housewife,

Yeah... I'm pretty sure that my answer would definitely be the wrong answer. So I'll just say that it's been 0 years, rounded to the nearest year.

-Yellow
Question #41406 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Every Christmas I like to give my neighbors a Christmas treat. This year I have less time than usual to spend enjoying making delicious treats. What is your favorite, simple Christmas treat that you think my neighbors would enjoy?

- Trying to spread some cheer

A: Dear Cheer Spreader,

I recently tried my hand at making a chocolate chip cheese ball. It turned out to be very delicious! Therefore, I present you with this recipe:

Chocolate Chip Cheese Ball
1 pkg. 8oz. cream cheese
1/2 cup butter
1/4 tsp. vanilla
2 Tbs. brown sugar
3/4 cup confectioners sugar
3/4 cup mini chocolate chips
1/2 cup chocolate Chips
Chocolate Graham crackers

Beat softened cream cheese, butter, and vanilla until creamy. Slowly add sugars until blended. Stir in 3/4 cups chocolate chips. Place mixture onto a piece of plastic wrap and form into a ball. Refrigerate for 1 hour. Roll ball in chocolate chips. Serve with graham crackers.

It isn't too hard and makes a delicious treat!
-The Cheeky Chickie
A: Dear Gertrude,

Clementines. Yum.

-Kicks and Giggles
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the 10 coolest places on campus? For example, the fishtanks below the WIDB , the science experiements in the Eyring building...


- Finding Nemo

A: Dear Nemo,

Here are my top 10:

10. The HBLL atrium.
9. The Brimhall atrium. (But I liked it better before they remodeled the building.)
8. The walkway above the HFAC tunnel
7. The periodicals room at the HBLL
6. The HFAC instrument office (It's on the 3rd floor, but you can't get to it from the rest of the 3rd floor.)
5. The building where the BYU operators work (If it's not really that cool, I don't want to know, 'cause in my head, it's fabulous.)
4. The supply room / hallway behind all of the labs in the ESC. (Not only does it contain all the physics toys you could ever want in a lifetime, but there's a little panel you can open to peer down at the pendulum.)
3. The secret library entrance on the west side of the HBLL by the bike racks.
2. The underground lab in the ESC.
1. The NOC (Another place I haven't been, but I have it on good report that it's awesome.)

- Katya
Question #41404 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear know-it-alls

WARNING DO NOT PROCEED READING, QUESTION MAY BE OVERWHELMINGLY INTELLIGENT AND KNOWLEDGEABLE. IT MAY *WILL* CAUSE HARM TO YOUR ULTRA EGO.

I know it's not "impressive" to ask you "how" to get on the board... (of course, i wouldn't do anything to ruin the great impression I have already made, not including, the numerous grammatical and debatably theoretical errors I have already made)
Why did you do it? What inspired you to join the board? What about your alias?

An year from now, When I write for the board, you will be giddly skipping down the sidewalks, and be secretly thinking how glad you are just to be under the eclipes of my glory as a board writer while others shoot you disgusted looks.

I appreciate you all to some extent, so when I'm a writer, I'll allow you to watch me from a far. and Cognoscente, you can drool.

-Just Another I.B procrastinator otherwise known as Lemony Snicket impersonator (if you haven't already noticed)

p.s. I made a fool out of myself.. however, I enjoyed every moment.

A: Dear Safe-Made Fool:

Hmm, well your assertions are a bit presumptuous, and I am unsure what Cognoscente is drooling over, but I will attempt to answer your actual questions.

Why did you do it? What inspired you to join the board?

I started reading the Board almost two years ago, now, and I really started becoming a regular reader this past Winter Semester. By a series of fortuitous events, I became good friends with a few writers. I knew I could do the research and writing, and do it well, at that, but I have a confession: a large part of why I wanted to do this was to feel a part of something. To finally be "in" a group like I never had been before. Everyone wants a place, and the Board seemed like it would be a good one for me.

What about your alias?

With my excess of posts on this message board, it was hard to imagine using any other.

---Portia
A: Dear lemony wannabe,

I can drool? From what? Envy? Lust? Happiness? An embolism lodging itself in my brain? I just don't understand!

Your assertion of future Board dominance is slightly tempered by the fact that you not just butchered, but massacred the English language in your message. Your utter contempt for grammar, spelling, and style would be enough to make poor Strunk and White weep. I mean, it's like you're shoveling non sequiturs into your writing. I feel confident enough to venture that I likely won't be in your shadow any time soon.

To answer your questions, I applied because I felt like I could answer questions well and have a lot of fun writing. I happened to know a couple writers as well, and I admired them. I came up with my alias on a spur of the moment whim... I wanted something intelligent and descriptive, with just a subtle whiff of pretension. I found the following as a definition: "A person with superior, usually specialized knowledge or highly refined taste; a connoisseur." I thought that sounded pretty self-aggrandizing, so I went with it.

-Cognoscente
A: Dear Just

May I humbly suggest that the introduction you have made in this question has left none of the current writers trembling in their proverbial boots. Knowing how to apply is not successfully applying, after all.

What inspired me to write for the Board? I knew Dragon Lady before she ascended to Writerhood. She was a regular Board reader, and lead me to many of the more humorous Board posts. Following her ascension she would, on rare occasion, ask for my help in answering questions. I enjoyed it, and figured I might as well make the whole thing official.

An explanation for my alias can be found in the Active Writers bios (really, I enjoyed the irony of the juxtaposition in my name).

-Humble Master
A: Dear Just ~

What inspired me to join the Board? branflakes.

What about my alias? Hope you have a few hours.

~ Dragon Lady
Question #41397 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Cold weather does funny things to my nose. While a quick jaunt to the mailbox adds some color to my sniffer, walking to school makes my whole face seem blotchy; after a snowball fight I'm a veritable Rudolph. However, few--if any--of my friends or fellow campus-goers seem to suffer the same olfactive affliction. Why does my nose get so darn red when I go outside, and short of sideways earmuffs what can I do to keep it from doing so?

--Wyver

A: Dear Wyver

I turn to another Q&A site, the NY Times, for an answer (well, they're also a news site, but apparently they have a Q&A portion in their paper). Here's the exchange that is applicable to your query:
Q.Cold air supposedly constricts the capillaries in the skin. Why, then, do your nose and cheeks turn red on a nippy day? A.Oxygen gives blood its bright red color, said Dr. Barbara Gilchrest, chairman of dermatology at the Boston University School of Medicine. Oxygenated blood flows in arteries from the heart to the capillaries, where it gives up oxygen to cells. From the capillaries it flows in veins back to the heart.

However, the cell processes that rely on oxygen slow in the cold. ''When the skin is very cold, there's not much metabolism going on,'' Dr. Gilchrest said. ''So the oxygen doesn't drain off and the blood stays bright red,'' giving the skin a ruddy color.
I'm guessing that different people's bodies handle the cold differently, thus the differing levels of reaction you've noted.

-Humble Master
Question #41381 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear Portia,

Is there any way to increase my singing range? I'm just wondering if practice helps this at all, and what in the world you would practice. Story time: when I was sixteen, I could only sing up to about middle C in full voice (aka not falsetto) but now two years later I can sing up to about F. Is this range-al increase natural or did I by my frequent singing just get better at singing?

Also, on a side note, do you know any good books about dancing bishop snowboarders?

- Bass who sings tenor in ward choir

A: Dear Friend:

From another good friend (and excellent singer), Katfish:
Your range can sometimes shift naturally, especially since the voice generally isn't fully developed until you're well into your twenties. But I'd guess that the change you've observed is also a result of your frequent singing. The small muscles within and around your vocal cords can be worked out and stretched just like any other muscle--so the more you use them, the more flexible they become. It's unlikely you'll increase your lower range by much more than the little you can gain through learning to relax the vocal mechanisms to allow the production of lower pitches. Higher notes, though, are produced by your vocal cords' gradually stretching out to become longer and thinner, so this is where you'll really see the advantages of regularly exercising your voice (as it seems you already have).

If you want to continue increasing your range, (1) sing frequently to maintain good habits and keep your voice in shape and (2) push the limits of your comfortable range. Sing regularly in the upper part of your range and do daily exercises--the warm-ups you sing in choirs or even just scales--to stretch even further. (Do a Google search for "vocal exercises" or something similar to find examples if you don't already have some in mind.) That said, BE CAREFUL. Stretch yourself, but don't overdo it to the point that you're forcing your voice or hurting your vocal cords. Warm up, keep your voice relaxed and open, and stop before your singing is strained or painful. Make sure you're conscious of your limits--they will hopefully change with practice, but they still exist.
As to your second question . . . no, not to my knowledge. I did find this article about a Mormon snowboarder which mentions LDS youth dances. If such a book were to be written, I bet it would look like this:



The Bishop's Ride, by A. Lamona Johanessessenen. Tagline: "Half-pipe . . . or two to tango?"

Feel free to write a blurb for the back and send it my way.

---Portia
Question #41377 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My roommate was telling me about a TV commercial he remembers from a few years ago, but we were unable to find a video of it anywhere online. It's a beer commercial; my roommate believes for Bud Light. In the commercial, two men are sitting at a bar (or possibly at a pool party) telling your-momma jokes. One says to the other (something to the effect of), "Your momma's so ugly, when she robbed a bank, she didn't even need a gun. She just stuck her face over the counter and said, 'Put the money in the bag.'" (The speaker makes a reportedly hilarious face as he delivers this last line.) Can you find this commercial anywhere, or at least find out what brand beer it was for?

Expectantly,
Stanley Grube

A: Dear Stanley

No.

There isn't much we can do in this case other than multiple searches of every form of "Your mom/mamma/momma/" and "beer/bud/bud light/budweiser/ commercial/ad" we can think of. I've done those and haven't come up with anything. Sorry.

-Humble Master
Question #41374 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What would you say is the most accurate form of ninja star made out of paper? (for my purposes it can use staples and tape as well- so it doesn't necessarily have to be oragami)

- Assassin

A: Dear Assassin

You happen to have come across an authority on ninja paper throwing stars. How do I know so much? Allow me to share a tale of honor disparaged and honor reclaimed:

Once upon a time I worked in a dungeon in Special Collections. A fellow coworker, BMW, and I once had our honor offended by another coworker, "Amee." What did she do to offend us? I can't recall exactly to be honest, but be assured that our reactions were completely logical. Unable to let such disparagement as we had suffered stand unchallenged, we did the natural manly thing and made paper ninja throwing stars. Now, of course, both BMW and I had made many, many throwing stars in our lifetime, but we found we required a refresher, so we turned to that trusty enabler of many a crazy plan: google. Having found specifications for a basic throwing star we forged a projectile called "Amee's Death." Soon we expanded our arsenal to include throwing stars that had been stapled together and expanded (Amee's Death 2.0, 2.1, and 2.2), a small throwing star (Amee's Death Pod), a very, very small throwing star (Amee's Death Pod Nano), and a ginormous trowing star (Amee's Death Pod 3.0).

Through these efforts, I can state with authority, that the most accurate paper thowing star is the gradeschool classic, but with extra care made to ensure that each and every fold is as crisp as possible. The expanded arsenal looked impressive, but was terribly inaccurate (yes, the throwing stars were inaccurate, not the throwers). But once again, the key is crisp folding of the edges. Crisp edges!

-Humble Master
A: Dear Humble Master ~

May I interject and remind you that you didn't turn to Google—you turned to me, and I turned to Google. And may I also remind you that it was I that made Amee's Death Pod and Amee's Death Pod Nano. Neither your nor BMW's fingers were nimble enough for such a job. Please do give credit where credit is due.

Dear Assassin ~

Humble Master is right. The class grade school ninja star is quite effective. I got so good at making them at work that when we had an paper airplane throwing contest for FHE, I made a ninja star instead. And if I had any talent at all in throwing, I'll bet I would have won, too.

~ Dragon Lady
Question #41359 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Can somebody tell me about LASIK? I have heard that if you want to have LASIK, it is very important to get someone good to do it for you. If it is so, any recommendations in Utah? Thanks guys!

- Mrs Fiona Shrek

A: Dear Fiona

The FDA has information about LASIK that can be found here. As that's government info it's not the propaganda found on many of the sites that advertise LASIK. It has pretty good descriptions of what to expect before, during, and after surgery.

I've never looked into LASIK surgery, nor do I know anyone who has had it done in Utah (well, I'm sure I do know someone who had LASIK done in Utah, but nobody is springing to mind). It doesn't look like any of the other writers have much in the way of personal experience associated with LASIK, so we can't really offer personal recommendations. And a significant factor to consider is if your insurance covers any of this type of procedure, and if it does then your options are probably limited anyway. If you're not limited, a simple google search brings up many options which you can sort through to find out who best suits your situation.

-Humble Master
Question #41347 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am wanting to preserve a pumpkin a whole year. I don't want to carve it, just preserve it to win a contest. Do you know what I need to do to ensure it will not rot for 12 months?

Thank you.

- Greg

A: Dear George,

Here are some ideas:

-shellac it
-put it in the freezer
-put it in a root cellar or other cool, airy place or in a box (? I don't know about the box thing. This site said it. It also says to handle carefully and not to wash or brush the skin.)
-vacuum seal it

Good luck in your endeavor.

-Kicks and Giggles
Question #41284 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So I know this may be a little early to be thinking about this, but being as I won't exactly be in a position that I can look for jobs very easily I've been trying to figure out what I want to do next summer. This last summer I worked in Alaska and made pretty good money ($8500), but going back is a little out of the question because my boss was quite literally insane. Also I'm a girl and even though I think I could do door to door sales my dad is not too stoked about that idea. (He let me run off to an island in the middle of nowhere, AK but I can't knock on doors in Denver.) I would love to live in a new place too. (Outside the Southwest) I'll be finishing my Sophomore year and just starting to apply for business school. Anyway I was wondering if you knew of any really well paying summer jobs or just anywhere that you have had a really good experience.

- Employ'D

A: Dear Employ'D,

Looks like you've discovered something about board writers in general: we don't get rich over the summer (if ever). In fact, seeing your summer salary made me a little jealous - if you made that much, it means that you were netting over $11/hour for 40/week, which is more than I ever made over the summer.

However, while I never made a ton of money working over the summer, I have made decent money and had good experiences working various campus office jobs. I did accounting for Newsnet and the College of Nursing and taught software classes at the Office of Information Technology, and each of those not only paid well, but also helped me develop valuable skills - and they were resume-worthy.

So, while it may stink to not earn as much money this summer, your situation may be a good opportunity for you to focus on a more career-focused or resume-building job that may not pay as much. If I were you, I would look into internships in places that seem interesting to you, at companies you know you may be interested in in the future. If you don't see a posted internship for a company you know you're interested in, you can probably contact them directly.

Good luck!

The Cleaning Lady
A: Dear Employ'D,

I've had pretty good experiences with summer employment in the form of paid internships. You might talk to the Business School and see if any such positions are available in that field that would interest you. Most schools and departments have internship coordinators that should be able to help you out.

Good luck!

-Yellow
A: Dear,

You might also look into being a nanny. Depending on where you do it, you can earn some really good money, and get out of state, too.

-Uffish Thought
Question #41283 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I was driving, well, riding back from Arizona, and we passed this weird lighted complex thingy. We had no idea what it was, but it was all lit up and cool looking. It was about 30ish miles (maybe 32/33) south of provo, and it was west of I-15 (on our left going northbound).

Any idea what it was? It was quite intriguing.

- Basso Continuo

A: Dearest Basso,

My guess is that it was the Currant Creek Power Plant.

Sincerely,

The Cleaning Lady