"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #41534 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear Claudio,

Re: Board Question #41380
Resulting garlic breath?! What kind of cannolis are you eating? Cannolis are delicious pastry desserts filled with a sweetened ricotta cheese mixture...no garlic in sight, ideally. Check out wiki if you don't believe me.

- Obi-Wan Cannoli

A: Dear Obi,

Meh. My bad. Thought it was a pasta dish.

Question #41467 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I love my roommates. I do not, however, love a certain roommate's boyfriend. He is loud, obnoxious, and rarely acknowledges my existence. When he does acknowledge my presence, it is to either sing a popular song with my name in it, or to comment on my straight A grades. I've tried to be nice to him, but he never seems to make an effort to be nice to me. Therefore, I have started to more or less ignore him. Is this wrong? The hard part is that I usually end up pretty much ignoring my roommate too because I go in my room to study. I don't want my roommate to think I dislike her, and I don't think it would be good for our friendship if she knew that I don't like her boyfriend. It's to the point that I dread being home when her boyfriend is over. What should I do?

- stressed about the bf

A: Dear,

It's okay--you don't have to date him. Which means you don't have to put in all that time and effort maintaining a good relationship with him. That's your roommate's job.

I've got two engaged roommates. With one set, I'm good friends with both halves of the couple, and even if it's just the three of us, I don't feel uncomfortable at all, and we all have a great time. With the other one, though I like them both, I don't have the same bond, and if the three of us were in a room, they would sit on a couch and cuddle and coo and stare deeply into each other's eyes and kiss a lot, and I'd sit on the other couch, making occasional attempts at conversation, but mostly feeling awkward. I try not to be in the same room with just them.

Sometimes, you just don't do as well with some couples as with others. That's not weird or bad, that's normal. You don't have to tolerate out-and-out rudeness to you, but if he's just mildly annoying like that, smile a brief smile, tell him it's good to see him too, ask him how he is, and book it on out of there. It's just fine to study in your room if you don't want to be in the front.

If you're tired of having the front be a couples-only zone, and you wouldn't be the only one, don't give up. It takes a little more effort and a stronger stomach, but something to do, be it studying, a movie, cleaning or any other task, as well as headphones, calling over friends of your own, or anything else. Myself, I feel like I pay equal rent, and am entitled to use of the front, as just as much as my more coupled roommates, and I tend to stick it out.

If I were you, I'd just wait it out. Either she'll break up with him or she'll marry him. Or she'll date him indefinitely, and then it might be a good time for you to look for somewhere else to live, if you really can't stomach the guy. But for a few months, you can be civil, and then be elsewhere so you can stay civil. After all, there are unpleasant people everywhere you go--one more hanging out in your living room shouldn't be entirely unmanageable. As for your relationship with your roommate, there's no need to confront her and tell her you don't like him, but if she asks you about it, it's okay to say that you wouldn't date him yourself. Be glad that she's happy with him, and don't make a big deal of it. You're right, there's no need to drive a wedge in your friendship. But there's no need to stay up at night worrying about it all, either.

-songs of inexperience
Question #41465 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

We know that if you vote for a republican presidential candidate that you are in actuality voting for the electors from your state who represent the republican party who in turn cast the direct vote for president. The question is, when you write in the name of someone who is not affiliated with a party, or maybe not even running, who are the electors that you are voting for?

-Gonna vote for Elder Bednar

A: Dear Reader,

In some states, write-in candidates are required to nominate their own potential electors before the election. In others, voters who write in alternate candidates must also write in electors for those candidates.

This implies that (1) if you're registered in the former type of state and (2) Elder Bednar does not choose to submit the names of electors to the voting board of that state by the deadline (30-60 days before the election, depending on the state), then you're going to be out of luck.

"Go ahead, throw your vote away."

- Katya
Question #41464 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

how do members of the motab or orchestra attend their regular church meetings?
since the times of meetings rotates each year, they're bound to have some times when their "music and the spoken word" clashes with their ward's sacrament meeting.

Motab Fan

A: Dear Motab Fan,

I sent this question to my uncle, who's a member of the OTS. He says that some years he just has to attend sacrament meeting in another ward with a later schedule. See also Board Question #33762.

- Katya
Question #41462 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What was Mitt Romney's B.A. in?

- Uncreative

A: Dear Uncreative,

According to a March 2007 Washington Post article, Mitt Romney was an English major.

- Katya
Question #41461 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear Foreman,

I've been impressed with your introduction to the board (especially your work as part of HFAC). What do you hope to accomplish as a writer?

- Christmas Cactus

A: Dear Christmas Cactus-

Hey, thanks for the personal attention. It really helps to boost my ego. Which, of course, is #1 on the Things to Accomplish as a Writer list.

But seriously, this is a good question. I was so caught up in the frenzy of applying and getting accepted and tryin' on my new boots (to employ a strange metaphor) that I hadn't even really given any thought to overarching goals. So let's give it a whirl.

What I Hope to Achieve as a Writer for the 100 Hour Board:
1) Help People. If there are people with serious questions out there that they need some real help with, I hope I can do so. And hey, I may be a faceless stranger to most, but sometimes that's what people need. If anyone needs something, look me up on Gmail chat. foreman(dot)theboard(at)gmail.com.

2) Entertain. I always loved the Board for its sense of humor. If it means drinking vinegar and watching ice cream melt to accomplish that, so be it. I feel a responsibility to answer what questions I can as thoroughly as possible, which apparently may mean going to ridiculous ends for it. Heh. At least it's fun.

3) Score Mad Dates with Brainy Board-readin' Babes. I think that one speaks for itself.

4) Improve Myself. Write more. Write better. Increase research skills. Learn things. Get out and talk to more people to find answers. Exercise patience. Have fun. Get super. Get really super (okay, literally one person in the world just got that, but I don't care).

5) Share. I love spreading awesome music/ books/ movies to others. Especially in the music department, a lot of people can use the assistance. And I'm here to help.

6) Inspire! I remember as a young freshman, reading the wonderful writings on the Board and wanting to be a part of that. If could do for someone what Horatio or Benvolio or Pa Grape or Latro or Skippy DeLorean or Toasteroven did for me (in no particular order, plus there are a lot more I could list), I'd be more than happy.

That seems like a good enough mission statement, methinks. Thanks for helping me sort out my thoughts!

Question #41460 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is there any way to re-listen to my patriarchal blessing? The week after I got mine on hard copy, I thought that a word was missing, so I just wrote it in (I've only changed it just that one time; memory can play tricks on me). As the years have gone on, I've noticed different things here and there, and there are a few parts that just don't make sense grammatically (or interpretationally) unless some words are added. And depending on what words are added, it could be interpreted different ways. There are also typos and whatnot, but I'm not as bugged by those as I am with the former issue.

- Picky PB reader

A: Dear Picky-

One of the things about Patriarchal blessings (or any type of revelation, really) is that it comes to you through the filter of a flawed human being. The same can go for prophecy, translation, or anything else. There's a quote that says the Book of Mormon translation, for instance, would be different if someone other than Joseph Smith had translated it, even if they were inspired. Especially since the Spirit, I believe, communicates in concepts rather than words (your brain, which thinks in words, makes it in to words, often imperfectly) the individual and their life experiences "color" the interpretation of what God tells them. Your blessing is affected a great deal by the personality of the person giving it.

Actually, I just remembered, my Patriarch told me (after my blessing was completed) that he wasn't being told words, but rather it was like he was seeing pictures and scenes flash through his mind and he was describing them as fast and accurately as he could. He said there was so much he couldn't keep up, nor get all of the details in. Tantalizing information to hear, let me tell you. But the essentials and the bare facts, I'm sure, are correct.

My Patriarchal blessing has a few interesting bits, as well. Though the written copy came out about as I remembered it, it has some typos, some severe sentence fragments, and even something I'm pretty sure isn't even a real word. However, the overarching meaning and spirit about it are still the same.

On another note, my Patriarch told me that not every blessing (mostly for the reasons listed above) comes out perfectly. He told me about how he's been inspired to change things before as he was typing it up. Or simple slips of the tongue. Once, he said, he called a young man "a princess," which was obviously unintentional and was rectified later. So really, unless you talk to the Patriarch personally, I'd say it's hard to tell what it may have meant.

Likewise, I don't know of any official storage of the audio recordings. If anyone has it, it'll probably be him. Once again, I'd ask if you're concerned about it. I say don't worry too much, unless it's a huge issue, and then try going to the source.

A: Dear sandwich reader,

I'm pretty sure the recording is made just so it can be transcribed, usually by the patriarch or his wife. The Church keeps only a text document on file. It's unlikely that your patriarch kept the recording, but asking him is your best bet at this point, since he would know best what he did with it. Also, Board Question #10716 mentions how patriarchs submit the official copies. Good luck!

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #41459 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear Cognoscente,

What on earth are you going to do with a 3.5 TB RAID on a PC?

- Arcaiden

A: Dear arcaiden,

Hey, it's my fantasy and I'll design my computer the way I want. But, you know, up until very recently there wasn't a way to get high density storage on your average PC without a RAID array. Nowadays, though, 1 TB and 1.5 TB SATA II drives are coming out, and the prices are falling across the board every month. I guess I wouldn't have to shell out for the RAID controller any more. It would be cool to have 5 or 7.5 or 10 TB on a redundant array... but I probably wouldn't even be able to fill it for like... 6 months.

Question #41458 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Here's a riddle: I'm terrible at every instrument I touch, but there's one that I'm good at. What is it?

- J.K. Flip Flop

A: Dear Flippin'-Floppin',

The theremin.

For those unfamiliar with this device (which is SO sweet), it was the world's first completely electronic instrument. It consists of a speaker hooked up to two antennae or electrodes. These electrodes sense the proximity of objects, namely the thereminist's (I just made that word up...oh, wait, it's real. Dang) hands. One controls volume, and one controls pitch. Thus, when moving your hands closer to the electrodes, you make the note louder and higher and vice versa.

The trick is that the frequency doesn't move in just notes, like the keys of a piano. No, it's EVERY sound possible. Thus, the thereminist must have nearly perfect pitch, or else werf will never come close to hitting many notes in a row.

And check it out! This guy will teach you to make your own!

For a good example of the theremin, listen to "Good Vibrations" by the Beach Boys. It's the weird "DWEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEE" sound. No, it's not REALLY a theremin (it's another electronic instrument based on the same principles as the theremin), but it's really close, and it's a song most of you probably know, so I'll call it good.

Question #41455 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have found that I can never submit my requirements in school on time. I can't help but do it over and over again, just to make it as good as it can get. Do you have any suggestions of what I should do?

- Jyonrai

A: Jyonrai,

Let us take a step back and look at this situation. You can't submit your assignments on time because you are a perfectionist. Or at least, you seem to have one of the needed qualities to be a perfectionist. So in order to jog your concern for punctuality let me point something out. Stop being so anal about your work! I'm sure your assignment are wonderful the first 5 times you re-do them. Just turn the assignment in when it is due. How much simpler could it get than that?

What possible good could it do to turn in assignments late so that they can be as perfect as possible? They are never going to be completely perfect and all of those points that you might have gained from making it slightly better are being lost to the evil monster of "late fees."

Just do what the rest of us students do: work on it until it is due, then shrug your shoulders at the imperfections and turn that puppy in on time. It really isn't that hard. If you need a support group then just give access to your computer over to your roommate/friend and let them print off your assignments and turn them in for you. You'll learn. And your life will be much less stressful when you just learn to let the imperfections go in favor of your sanity.

-The Cheeky Chickie
A: Dear Jyonrai

Um...part of making the assignment the best it can be is meeting the requirements. Including the due date. If your a perfectionist, be a perfectionist about everything. Oh, and no paper is ever done, it's abandoned at the due date.

-Humble Master
Question #41451 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

On youtube if you look up major headache dry Ice fun, you will get a yellow mug and a person making some sort of bubble thing. What do you suspect the person is using to make the bubble for the head?

- Dori

ps. its really cool

A: Dear,

Lucky you, the person who posted the video also wrote how they did it in the comments. They said it was "dry ice and water in the cup. There was some water and hand soap on the paper towel that went over the cup." So, there you have it. I suspect the bubble was due to hand soap on the wet paper towel they put on the top of the cup with the dry ice and water. Just a hunch.

-Uffish Thought
Question #41450 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the salary for Salt Lake City City Council Members?

- Rocky

A: Dear Neo,

According to the Deseret Morning News, they make $21,750 a year. The article also gives salaries for Provo ($12,240) and Orem ($9,900) and some other cities if you're interested.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #41447 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

We've decided to move somewhere far away from our current problems. Here are our requirements: 1) We need mountains. 2) It must be warm part of the year. 3) It must have snow part of the year. 4) It must be far away from Utah. What places in the world do we have to choose from?

-The Heartless Siren & Lady Bug

A: Dear Gertrude and Saffron,

Northeastern Pennsylvania, the Pocano Mountains.

-Kicks and Giggles
A: Dear problem escapees,

I'm going to suggest Provence, France. Mountains with ski resorts in the winter and hot beaches for the summer. It is far far away from here. You girls better start brushing up on your French.

A: Dear,

Convince Howl to let you use his Moving Castle, and go wherever you like the weather and the distance from Utah. Or, if you like, use the castle to stomp all over Utah. Actually, Baba Yaga's hut would be cooler for that last one. Try that.

-Uffish Thought
Question #41442 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In one of my classes we watched the short video "A Vision of Students Today". All the links I could find use the same embedded YouTube video so you'll have to watch it off campus, this page does include the full text lower on the page though. http://mediatedcultures.net/ksudigg/?p=122

If you had to recreate this specifically for BYU what facts would you change? What statements would you add?

- No one in particular

If you can find the video hosted somewhere we can access on campus feel free to change the link.

A: Dear,

To be honest, I don't know that all that much would change. Hours worked, spent in class, spent studying, talking, goofing off, and sleeping may not be all that much different.

The numbers on debt may be a little different, and I'd probably add time spent on church-related stuff, maybe some statistics on dating because we tend to care a lot about dating. Also, marriage.

Also, every generation whines that we have to fix the previous one's mistakes. Well, yeah. That's the way it works, and the way it's going to. We know you weren't the cause of everything you deal with, and that doesn't really relate to school and how it trains you do deal with it. So that part I'd take out, I guess.

And what was that about the chalkboard? It relates a little, but not enough to be the ending bit. So there.

Still, though, I don't think a lot would change. BYU's full of college kids, and although we don't drink as much as other college kids, most of those things weren't in the presentation, so they wouldn't be affected.

It's good to keep in mind, though, that those are averages--obviously, some people are more studious, some are less so. And since you can't un-talk on the phone, but you can just not write an assigned paper, things look a little worse than I think they may be. The less important things seem bigger, and the more scholastic things are downplayed a bit.

-Uffish Thought
Question #41427 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I love to listen to the Book of Mormon Soundtrack in my car (great for putting the kids to sleep). Do you know how or where I could find the piano sheet music to the soundtrack? I've searched with no luck.


A: Dear tmlarsen ~

Everything I can find and everyone I have talked to all point to such an item not existing. I mean, I'm sure the writer has a copy, but outside of contacting werf directly (which you are welcome to do), I'm not sure we can help you.

Another option...you could get some of that software that takes music and transcribes the sheet music for you.

~ Dragon Lady
Question #41421 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How much of a violation of the morality part of the Honor code would get you get you kicked out? And, is it wrong to report someone to the honor code office if they told you something you know is very against the rules?

- Soccerbabe

A: Dear Soccerbabe,

People change. I know because I have. And the Honor Code Office knows as well. It is on a case-by-case basis. I know of a boy who had his whole life ruined because he fornicated. I don't think he was sorry for it. He was kicked out of school, expelled from the apartment complex, and banned from receiving any BYU credit (transfer) for 24 months. Ouch.

I think you would need to pray about it and, if you were going to tell someone else, you would need to tell her beforehand. If you are really a friend you will do what is best for him/her. That might mean telling or that might mean not telling.

Good luck!

Question #41420 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My husband is having a very, very frustrating time with one of his professors and classes. This class is taking up an extraordinary amount of his time and nothing is turning out right. The professor keeps piling on assignments, frequently changes and adds to the requirements for assignments, the professor is out of town a lot, and there is a huge project that my husband has worked on basically nonstop for the last three weeks. This is in addition to his several other demanding classes. My husband isn't doing well in this class, which he isn't accustomed to (he has one of the highest GPAs I have ever heard of).

All of this boils down to an extremely discouraged guy and one very lonely wife who is starting to feel very strong, negative feelings towards this professor. This situation is putting strain on our marriage because I want to see my husband a little more but I also want him to do well, which doesn't seem to be possible in this case. I know the semester is almost over and I am trying so hard to just make it through. Any ideas on how to comfort my husband (who might be receiving his first C) and keep my sanity while I don't see my husband? I keep busy with my full-time job, friends, family, church, and other activities, but I am still having a hard time. I'm afraid that next semester will be just as bad as this one.

- lonely wife

A: Dear,

A C, especially to someone used to getting all As, is a rough thing to get. Still, it's not the end of the world, and if you worked hard and did your best, then you did all you could, and can be satisfied that it's not that you're lame, it's that you're battling an unfair professor, or a subject you're weak in, or something like that. Remind him that you're proud of him, that life still goes on, and that he does many things well. Also, find some other things to do. I bring up rock climbing a lot, but I really like the almost tangible sense of accomplishment, the endorphins, the hands-on experience, and the mind-numbing concentration on a simple task. Hit up the Quarry and spend a couple hours to celebrate or to distract from a disappointing day. Or find something that works similarly to cheer, distract, and make you feel like you've done something.

It's going to be hard for you, too. Many of my married friends see less of each other once they tie the knot, because they've got so much on their plates, with work and school. And though it might not always be so hectic, there will always be things that need to be done, and time that must be spent apart. That's something to learn to cope with.

And even though I'm not married, I know the strain and heartache of seeing someone you love who's hurting, and you can't do much to help. Do what you can, of course. Help with studying and organizing. Do what you can to ease the load on your husband. You can also put special effort into doing things for him. Cooking him a nice dinner or planning a date or tidying up his mess may not help directly with the grades, but serving people makes them feel loved, and you feel useful and happy.

I'm glad you're keeping busy. Keep it up. I can think of few better ways to stay cheerful than to be busy with good things.

To be honest, next semester, you're right, may be just as hard. There is no magical solution, there is no tip or tidbit of advice that will suddenly make everything fall into place. Life, (and especially married life,) is hard stuff, and that's just the way it is. Do your best to be helpful and loving and supportive, and make sure you're taking care of yourself, too. Find some time just for the two of you, and learn to be okay when you're lonely for a while. Remember happiness is more an attitude than an occurrence--practice being happy. And good luck--I hope you're wrong, and next semester turns out better. But if it doesn't, I hope you know you're capable of toughing it out, and coming out stronger and more capable.

-Uffish Thought
Question #41415 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So here's the deal. My husband and I were both raised in areas outside of Utah where the LDS members were significantly fewer. I've been in Utah for almost 7 years now. I've been married for about 3 of those. My husband and I both love the gospel. We both believe it and we both practice it. But I realized this morning that I have a major dilemna. While I believe in the gospel, I don't think I believe in the church. In fact, some weeks the idea of attending church meetings other than Sacrament meeting makes me want to induce vomiting in order to have an excuse not to go. I've been trying to figure out why I feel this way. After all, if I believe in the gospel, why do I have issues with church? One theory I have come up with is that I'm simply in a different culture here in Utah than I was accustomed to growing up, as is the case with my husband. I'm confused as to why I can have a testimony of the gospel and its teachings, but have no desire to attend church. Any thoughts on this subject?

- mj

A: Dear Mary Jane:

I can definitely sympathize with you. Although I would not go so far as to say that I have found Church vomitous, I am sometimes bored, or annoyed. There were a couple of months (not so very long ago) where I felt rather apathetic towards the Church. I wasn't out actively rebelling constantly, and I still believed in the gospel, but I (a) let other people's interpretation of said gospel bother me too much, and (b) didn't put forth either the time or effort to really live the gospel. And part of that, I would submit, means being a part of the Church.

I don't think this is a matter of geography. There are annoying Mormons in Utah, but there are plenty elsewhere. The same is to be said for admirable members. I think this is a matter of your personal relationship with God.

I like how Spencer W. Kimball put it: "I find that when I get casual in my relationships with divinity and when it seems that no divine ear is listening and no divine voice is speaking, that I am far, far away. If I immerse myself in the scriptures the distance narrows and the spirituality returns" (As quoted here.) Would you even have the revealed word of God that you have without the Church? No. Would you have your (presumably) temple marriage without it? It's times like this where trying to focus on the positive is probably best, even though it's hard.

I suppose God could have left us to our own devices, but he chose to give us "apostles; prophets; evangelists; pastors and teachers for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ" (Eph. 4:11-12). All of these positions aren't meant to ruin your life, but to improve it.

Remember your baptismal covenant? You were once "desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called [part of] his people." You were "willing to bear one anotheŕ’s burdens, that they may be light . . . and comfort those that stand in need of comfort." (Mosiah 18:8-9). Are you willing to do that now? Beneath all the questionable lessons, past all the conformism, that's what the Church is all about. I think we can go a lot further helping each other than trying to make it on our own. If you give up on it, then that's one less chance to help not only others, but yourself.

I, for one, realized that I didn't really like being apathetic. I wanted to go on a mission, get married in the temple the whole shebang--how could I do that if I didn't care?

How about I make you a deal: I'll go to church, sit through all my meetings and hold my tongue and my inward criticisms, study the scriptures daily, and maybe I'll even attempt to attend Institute next semester. If I do all that, then I bet you can try similar things. Feel free to email me: it's good to have someone to report to.

Good luck. I bet if you study the New Testament, and ponder Christ's life and teachings, you'll come to the conclusion that you can do more good within the Church than outside it.



Dear 100 Hour Board,

Have there ever been or are there currently any dangeresque, vigilante crime fighting organizations on campus? How could one get in on the late night, bad-guy-hunting scene?


A: Dear,

Well, freshmen used to be hazed a lot more, which some people might think of as vigilante crime fighting.

There's us, of course, but you already know about us.

The best dangeresque crime-fighters are loners, though. The Lone Ranger? Sargent Preston of the Northwest Mounted Police? Zorro? All awesome. All loners. (Don't even try to bring up Tanto, King, or Zorro's sweetie. Sidekicks are only there to give the hero someone to talk to or smooch.)

Steps to becoming an awesome loner vigilante
Get an awesome outfit. They help set you apart from the crowd, and garner you a reputation that bad guys fear and the ladies love. Black is classic, but other colors can go well too, if they're classy and not silly. There's also style, fit, material, and pockets to consider. Aim for something dashing yet utilitarian.

Find something that shouldn't be allowed. Pick a lawless location, a dangerous supervillain, a really bad fashion mistake, an oft-overlooked crime, a social class, an unjust cause, ugly landscaping, bad body odor, green jello with carrots, or illiteracy. Or pick any combination of up to three of the above. Start nursing a grudge. It helps if the thing you're fighting once harmed you or someone dear to you. If it hasn't, bait it until it does.

Work out some witty catchphrases, a visual image, or some other sort of signature thing. Again, it's all about making a name for yourself. Like the Dread Pirate Roberts. Before anyone knew who he was, he had to do some serious public relations work.

Train for a long time. Days is not enough, unless you've got some awesome radioactive toxins or other supernatural means that are helping you. Weeks will work if you're a crazy technophile with a lot of background knowledge already. Months is closer, but years is really best.

In some crossover from a previous answer, you should have a lair. Underground is best, of course, but ancient ruin lairs, treetop lairs, fourth-dimensional lairs, coffee-shop-type lairs, and couch-cushion fort lairs are excellent second choices. Except you should call your lair a hideout. That's better for what you're doing.

Wield with unflinching and unflappable panache an unusual weapon, or possibly an otherwise debilitating eccentricity. Make people remember you.

Also in that vein, occasionally let low-level offenders go, carrying a message to the bigger guys. Not only does it spread fear of your name, sometimes you can trail them right back to the headquarters of the opposition.

Wait, your name. Is it cool? If it's not, hang your head in shame and go on home. Cool name or nothing, bro.

Pick a time of day to fight. You may laugh, but this is crucial. Some are night-time fighters, and this is awesome. But if you're really got style, you may be able to pull off a high noon, early misty morning or twilight type time frame.

Now that you're ready, fight crime. Win most battles, but have a few heartbreaking losses that you can mostly recover from before the next big fight. Be suave, be confident, be witty, be charismatic. Sell yourself well.

A few notes, now that you're in business.

Take every opportunity to show up places in costume. Your day-to-day identity isn't safe enough. Masquerade balls are the best time to scrounge up info and begin the first stages of your cunning plans. Halloween, the circus, or a themed party will work in a pinch.

Once you've become successful, you may have (1) sidekick, (1) trusty animal companion, and either (1) ladyfriend with smooching privileges and emotional support or (many) ladyfriends, one per battle, with minor smooching privileges, massive flattery, and bragging rights, but no emotional support, and no more than 3 days involvement. Also, this kind is less likely to be kidnapped and used to blackmail you.

Fighting the big bosses means either the end of you, or the end of your vigilante time. After you beat the boss, there's only cleanup left. If you're still having fun with your crime-fighting, just keep catching the small fry, and hindering the big ones, until you get tired of it all, and then take out the head honchos in a blaze of glory.

-Uffish Thought
A: Dear Uffish

I'm sorry, but Tonto goes with the Lone Ranger. The other two I'll let you get away with claiming as loners, but not the Lone Ranger. Which is terribly ironic, since "Lone" is part of his name...

Spider-Man, traditionally, would have been a loner, but recently he joined the Avengers. But Daredevil, he's a loner. The Shadow was mostly a loner, though his woman friend was generally along on his adventures.

And being a loner is not pre-requisite to be a dangeresque vigilante crime fighter. Having a team watching your back can be quite useful. Especially if Snake Eyes is part of the team.

And sometimes you can be both a loner and part of a team. I offer Batman as an example of a dangeresque vigilante crime fighter who is both a loner and part of a team (in all the good movies he's definitely a loner, but there are plenty of good comic books involving the "Bat Family" (Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl(s), Oracle, Batwoman, Spoiler, Huntress, etc., etc.). Oh, and he's part of the Justice League. AND the Outsiders. That's a whole lot of group interaction for a loner.

-Humble Master
Question #41398 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My dad is thinking of getting into the warning track business on the side. (The area of dirt right before the fence on a baseball field.) He already has some crushed brick laying around that he wants to sell and some ballparks in the Orlando and Raleigh areas have shown interest. I'm looking for all the materials he would need, and some info on how it is manufactured. I've already searched wikipedia and several other websites with no luck. Are there any specific legal requirements for it? Links to websites, books, or general info would be greatly appreciated.

-Mrs. Swafford

PS-I'd never heard of warning track before, but it seems quite useful.

A: Dear Mrs. Swan,

You can order the ASTM International standard for construction and maintenance of warning track areas here for $35. There is also a new standard in progress. Following the standard isn't mandatory (at least as of 2004), but if there are legal requirements, it will most likely involve the standard. Warning tracks appear to be of different compositions depending on the weather and preference. From what I can tell, it is manufactured by crushing whatever materials you use to the size you want and mixing them together. I hope that helps. Good luck!

-=Optimus Prime=-
A: Dear Mrs.

I don't have anything to offer concerning your situation, but I wanted to let you know that "My dad is thinking of getting into the warning track business on the side" easily entered my non-existent list of Top 10 Question Intros of All Time.

-Humble Master
Question #41393 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So I play the harp, and lately I've noticed that when I pluck a couple of specific strings, they buzz. I have no idea why! I've looked the strings up and down and I can see no obstructions or anything touching the string causing the buzzing sound. I've wondered if maybe the string is near breaking point, but I really have no idea. Oh omniscient Board, what is the deal?

- Duane Reade

A: Dear Duane,

There are a few things you can check to find the cause of the buzz (from Musicmaker's FAQ):
If the buzzing sound occurs only when the sharping lever is flipped up (engaged), then you need to tighten the lever more firmly against the neck of the harp. Use a ball-end allen wrench to turn the cap-screw clockwise.

If the buzzing occurs when the lever is flipped down (disengaged), the string may be vibrating against some part of the sharping lever itself. Look very closely at the position of the string as it passes through the sharping lever. It may be rattling against the plastic cam (the part that you flip up & down), or against the small post (the part that the cam pinches the string against when engaged.) You can change the position of the string by pushing in or pulling out the brass guide pin on which the string rests above the sharping lever. (Make sure the string is resting in the groove of that pin.) Use a pliers to gently push or pull on the pin, watching how that moves the string in relation to the sharping lever.

If the problem is not located around the sharping lever, you may have a loose end of string that is rattling inside the soundchamber. Put your hand inside the harp and touch the knotted ends while plucking the harp to see where the problem is located. Oftentimes we can solve it by simply trimming off a loose end of string or by twisting the knotted end in a different direction.
They then mentioned a few other small parts that can come loose and need to be glued; check out their FAQ if none of their first tips work for you. Good luck!

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Duane,

LJ gave the a great answer. In addition, I asked one of my harp-playing friends what she thought, and this was her response:
There are a couple reasons why a string would buzz. (1) The string is touching one of the knobs at the top of the string, (this has happened several times with me) (2) The string is not securely/correctly tied at the top or the bottom of the string. There is a specific way to correctly tie a harp string, and if not done properly, it could buzz, and (3) it could have to do with the way they are playing the string. You should grasp the string quickly to prevent buzzing and you must do it without your fingernail hitting the adjacent string. I'm betting it is not this last reason if they are just playing the string by itself and it is buzzing. Those are the only reasons I can think of for a string to buzz. If the harp is not far away, I would be interested in looking at the strings to help figure out the problem.
So, if nothing else works, shoot me an e-mail at claudio dot the dot crowing at gmail dot com, and I can get you in touch with my very helpful friend.

Question #41384 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am completely addicted to syllacrostics and anacrostics. I always buy those variety puzzle books at the grocery store, but it only takes me a few days to go through a whole book. I've been supplementing them by printing out puzzles from the internet, but that's starting to be a huge waste of paper. Are there any websites where I can play interactive puzzles without printing anything out?

- Darth Fedora

PS I have actually found a few, but I've already finished all of the puzzles on those sites...so the more sites you can find, the more wonderful I will think you are!

A: Dear dolf,

I assume you found acrostics.org and doublecrostic.com already. The latter has a daily puzzle for a membership fee. There's also these ones. If you sign up for the NY Times Premium Crossword Service, they have Acrostic puzzles (example) and an archive as well.

Looks like you're going to have to buy a subscription somewhere if you're really interested in a large supply of online puzzles. And syllacrostics appear to be even more rare and I don't feel like googling any more. Maybe you should start your own site. Enjoy!

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #41373 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Are there any outlines for making a good Frisbee out of Paper? (for my purposes it can also use tape and staples - also cutting with scissors is fine.)

- Assassin

A: Dear Assassin,

There are instructions for a pretty cool paper frisbee on this site. Or, if you're a ninja kind of assassin, you should definitely check this out: a paper frisbee that transforms into a throwing star. Have fun!

Question #41363 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I (along with some other students) am writing a paper about the requirement of freshmen to have a meal plan, with a focus on Heritage Halls. I have found some information on the board, as well as the official BYU site, but I would like more. Where can I go, and/or who should I contact to find out specifics on that requirement? Can anyone on the board give me more information? Some of my questions include, but are not limited to:
Why are freshmen required to have a meal plan?
Why aren't Wyview freshmen required to have a meal plan?
When did the requirement first come into effect?
What are the benefits of having a meal plan?
What are the disadvantages to having a meal plan?

Any other information about the meal plan requirement is welcomed.

- writing a paper

A: Dear writing,

You didn't say what your paper was for, but I can only assume it's for school - and we're kind of against doing other people's schoolwork for them. I will tell you that if I were writing the paper, I would call BYU Info and ask to speak to someone in charge of meal plans, and arrange a personal or phone interview with them. Your information will be the most credible coming from the source, anyway.

Good luck,

The Cleaning Lady
Question #41298 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'd like to be Cosmo for next year's Halloween. Is there a way I can borrow one of the Cosmo suits from BYU?

Cosmo Jr.

A: Dear Cos,

Frankly, I kind of doubt the feasibility of this, but I would suggest that you plead your case to Cosmo himself by calling his office at 422-7613.

Good luck!

The Cleaning Lady
Question #41293 posted on 12/13/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,
What caused the large gouges in the asphalt at the entrance to the visitor parking east of the Wilk? They are right in front of the parking enforcement booth on the pedestrian crosswalk area. Today I noticed more of the asphalt gouges on the pedestrian side of the ramp on the south end of campus. (The pedestrian/bike ramp that starts near the JSB)

- No one in particular

A: Dear No one in particular,

Hungry velociraptors.

A: Dear No one,

A wizards duel. The BYU wizards have been getting out of hand a lot lately. There's been some tension about the Honor Code. Apparently the Honor Code office has been upset about wizards wearing robes. They fear it is too close to cross-dressing and don't think that just because they are wizards that they should be able to bend the Honor Code rules. It wasn't a pretty sight. Let's just say that the wizards have agreed to not wear robes, since that goes against the International Statute of Secrecy. However, I do believe the Honor Code office will think twice before threatening a wizard with expulsion.

- Niffler
A: Dear No one,

And the real answer is...Tangerine is right. They were caused by hungry velociraptors. BYU's Physical Facilities kindly made up some PC answer about "cracks caused by heating and cold that result in asphalt expansion...blah blah blah..." but that sounds like an inaccurate cover to me (and doesn't address the blood stains). Good thing we have the 100 Hour Board, so you can get real answers.

Don't hide in the kitchen,

The Cleaning Lady