"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #41612 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Where would you define the line between someone who's hard working and someone who's a workaholic? Do you know of anyone that works 12+ hours a day, through weekends and holidays, and likes it that way?

- plant overlord

A: Dear plant ~

During fall, my dad works at least 16 hours a day. Through holidays and weekends. (Though, not Sundays.) During the spring and summer, that number goes down, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was still 12 hours a day at times. During the winter, he goes down to the normal 8 hours per day. If you asked him, he probably wouldn't say he liked it. But he does enjoy it enough that he has done it for the majority of his life. And he will probably continued to work like this until retirement. And when he retires, I cannot fathom him just sitting around doing nothing. He will just refocus his attention on genealogy. And that he will work all day, every day, much more than 12 hours a day, through weekends and holidays. And he will like it. No, he will love it.

I would say my dad is hard-working, perhaps bordering on workaholic. Where's the line between them? I would say hard-working is someone who puts all of their effort into work. (People can work lots of hours and still get nothing done. That is not hard-working.) They do their best to get the job done. They do their best to provide for their family. Workaholic is a misplacement of priorities. Someone who puts work ahead of family, church responsibilities, etc. A workaholic keeps working far after werf has filled werf's needed hours and has provided for werf's family. A workaholic works for the simple fact of working, and will keep doing it ... just because.

~ Dragon Lady
Question #41610 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

When I transfer to Hogwarts, will my religion credits go with me?
- (Hogwarts fantatic)

A: Dear non-muggle,

Of course they will! They'll transfer over under Muggle Studies.

A: Dear liar,

I'm sorry to call you such, but if you really were a Hogwarts fanatic, you would know that Hogwarts is a secondary educational facility. Did you get religion credits in high school? No, you may have gotten Seminary credit. But not religion. Religion credit comes after enrollment at a church university. However, you can't attend a university until after you have graduated from high school. You don't graduate from Hogwarts until the age of 17 or 18. Just like Muggle high school.

Now, will Seminary credits transfer to Hogwarts? No. Seminary credits will not transfer to any Muggle high school either. No secular school accepts religion credits of any sort. Only religious private schools are allowed to do such. Hogwarts is no exception.

Besides, if you haven't noticed, Hogwarts does not focus on any type of organized religion. Why would they accept religion credits? Actually, for that matter, I've never seen any student transfer to Hogwarts, either... perhaps they don't even accept transfer credit.

- Niffler

PS. Krishna, I'm sorry to disappoint, but Muggle Studies is the study of Muggles, not the subjects of Muggles' study.
Question #41609 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Back in the day, my sister knew a guy who bought an airplane ticket for his cello when he traveled with it. How would someone go about doing that now? Would they need to check ID? How would it get through security?

- Curiosity

A: Dear Curious,

I forwarded your question to a cellist friend, who told me that yes, it's standard procedure to buy a ticket for your cello when you're flying with it. (Musicians, generally, do not check their instruments, and cellos are too large to stow in overhead compartments.) She said that you have to explain to the security guards that it has its own seat and be willing to open up the case for inspection. Also, you have to take the endpin out ahead of time and put it in your checked luggage.

- Katya
Question #41608 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I asked a question 9 days ago.. and still no answer. How often do you ignore the question and just never answer?

A: Dear ,

I do it all the time. A lot of the questions that we get are just so ridiculous/boring/pointless/should never have been asked in the first place/you should just work up the nerve to go call that random BYU office yourself, that there's no way I'd answer them. Fortunately, most of our writers are not nearly as stuck up and unreasonable as I am, and most of our questions get answered quite promptly regardless of how ridiculous they are.


A: Dear,

As an organization, never. If we're not going to answer it, we'll let you know. If it's not in our system, it won't be in your "my questions" page, either, and that would be the appropriate time to ask us what happened to it, and maybe resubmit your question.

Sometimes, like Tangerine says, we just don't get around to a question, because it's a lot of work, or because no one really feels qualified, or because it's finals time and spare time is scarce, even for us. We try for 100 hours, but it doesn't always happen. Since it's a free service, though, you'll probably be all right.

-Uffish Thought
Question #41607 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So I finally finished my minor in Japanese not too long ago, but while I'm finished up my completely unrelated major, I'm finding I'm forgetting everything I learned since I'm not using it. Any ideas on how to keep from losing it completely?

- Cherry Blossom Girl

A: Dear Cherry Blossom Girl,

I don't speak another language (yet) but here are some ideas that some friends use to keep up their mission languages.

First off, lots of them will go to the TRC. Looks like Japanese is needed Thursdays from 3:00 pm to 5:20 pm and sometimes on Friday nights.

Find your favorite books in Japanese. My husband has really enjoyed reading the Lord of the Rings series in Dutch. It even builds his vocabulary. (Who knows how to say "orc" in any other language than English anyway?)

Finally, get some movies! Especially Disney movies if you can. You already know them front and back in English and you don't have to think too hard while watching them. That way you can hear more than one voice speaking and having a real conversation.

Hope those ideas helped some. Good luck!

- steen

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, I've heard rumors from former HFAC Security friends that the HFAC has a bunch of hidden tunnels and locked off rooms in the basement, because it was built on top of another building that was not completely demolished. Is this true? And if so, what the heck is down there? And how do you get in? Are there tours? It all sounds so intriguing...

- the jenerator

A: Dear I'm the jenerator, firing whenever you quit-

Yeah, whenever it is.

"Hey, Claudio, you got any secret tunnels under you?"
"Sure don't, Foreman."
"Yeah, me neither."
"Weird how these rumors get started, eh?"

Well, we got nothin' on this end. *Shrugs*

Yeah, can't you hear my motored heart? You're the one who started it,
A: Dear jenerator,

I'm skeptical. I have three family members who've worked in different departments in the HFAC, so I've seen what's behind a lot of the locked doors down there, and it's not hidden, mysterious tunnels. A lot of it is storage for the theatre department, plus some mysterious entrances to various stages and theatres, plus a lot of KBYU equipment.
I don't see any evidence of another building in this photograph, either.

- Katya
A: Dear the ~

There are also your normal campus-wide tunnels. I was in one just the other day when a fire alarm went off and I was down in the depths of Special Collections. The fire escape took us through the tunnels and I came out through the HFAC. My bet is that the tunnels were put there purposely as tunnels.

Tunnels serve many great purposes and are not unique to BYU. The tunnels under Temple Square are also great fun.

~ Dragon Lady
Question #41604 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

how long does it generally take you to answer questions?

- just some dude

A: Dear just a dude,

This is the 100 Hour Board, so I'm going to go with the answer of 100 hours. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

-The Cheeky Chickie
A: Dear dude,

8 minutes, 23 seconds.

A: Dear some dude,

See also Board Question #39366.

- the librarian
Question #41603 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Recent topics on the Board (and the tragic condition of a formerly great writer) have caused us to wonder: If it could be proved that a certain group of evil primates broke the Honor Code during their recent brainwashing of the mighty CATS, would the Honor Code Office take action against them? We realize that they are not students, but they do live on campus. Are they then subject to the wrath of the HCO if they were...anonymously reported? From what we hear, this office would be the perfect institution to give those stupid monkeys what they have coming to them. Your thoughts, please.

- CATS Fan Club (Still devoted to the old version of CATS, not this new, wimpy, grammatically correct and sickeningly nice incarnation)

A: Dear Fan Club,

It is a little known fact that all primates are completely exempt from all Honor Code regulations. Therefore they can do whatever they want!

Haven't you ever heard the saying: What does a 500 lbs gorilla get?


Don't mess with the monkeys!
-The Cheeky Chickie
A: Dear Cheekie-

Well... you know humans are primates, right?

I want documentation on this rule. I will totally let my hair grow out.

A: Dear Can I become a member?,

I think the fact that they don't have to wear pants excludes them automatically from all other Honor Code laws.

Oh, to be a monkey...

A: Dear CATS fan ~

Because 100 Typing Monkeys are not students, the HCO can do nothing to them. However, the fact that they live on campus may do something... but only if it's considered BYU-approved housing. And only if they had to sign the Honor Code to live there. If it is and they did, they could potentially be kicked out of their home. However, I'm fairly sure they fall under the same exception policy as BYU football players. They do the university a great service, and thus the HCO turns a blind eye. Or, perhaps the HCO office was as annoyed with CATS as many others... and are simply grateful to Monkeys.

In any case, I think if you called the HCO and reported 100 typing monkeys living in the SWKT to them, you may end up committed to a mental health clinic. Hmmmm.... this may not be so bad... Please, do try and let us know how it turns out.

~ Dragon Lady
A: Dearest Fan Club!

Oh, I have a fan club! Have I always had a fan club? That's so exciting!

How are you gentlemen (and ladies)? Please, let me know. I'd love to go hang out with you some time: we can play and do fun CATS-like activities like acting out the collective works of William Shakespeare in 60 seconds at local renaissance festivals ! Ahh.. what fun!

Wait.. you think I'm wimpy? WIMPY? What!

A: Dear Dragon Lady

I'd just like to point out that Gary Crowton tried running the football program in the manner you describe and that, as much as the on-the-field struggles, resulted in his being fired. Bronco runs a much tighter ship.

-Humble Master
A: Dear CATS (and now our) Fan Club

We invite you to find any portion of the Honor Code that deals with brainwashing.

And, furthermore, we "friendshipped" CATS. It has worked wonderfully. CATS is as good a friend to Monkeys as Peanut Butter is to Jelly.

-100 Typing Monkeys
Question #41602 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why are there pieces of red electrical tape over some of the electrical outlets in the HBLL?

-Spends Too Much Time in the HBLL

A: Dear Me, Too-

You're in luck. Having formerly worked for the illustrious HBLL custodial team, I know this one.

Those are the outlets that need to be replaced. When an electrician finally makes it through, all the things he needs to work on are already marked for his convenience. Some of them plain don't work, some of them are chipped or broken, and some of them are just loose. For whatever reason it may be, that's what it means. Now, why probably about 50% of them still HAVE that tape is an excellent question that I can't answer.

Bonus round: ditto for the lights. If you see a whole cage of 3 lights that are out, there's probably the same red tape sticking to it somewhere. It means the same thing.

Question #41601 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

When I was ten, I lost my two front teeth in pool-related accident. I lived with large Mr. Wilson-like caps for many years.

Now, had I not filled in the gaps with normal dental crowns, what would you have suggested I replace my teeth with?

-Tastes Like Glue

A: Dear TLG,

Ivory. Because then it would still be tooth material.

- Katya
A: Dear Tastes Like Glue,

I would suggest not replacing them at all, but simply regrowing them. So long as they weren't knocked out by dark magic, they would be easily regrown. (Consider Harry knocking out his tooth in Deathly Hallows when he's in Hagrid's sidecar.)

- Niffler
A: Dear how do you know?


A: Dear glue,

Solid gold teef, baby!

A: Dear Toothless Grin:

Vampire teeth. You can be Edward or whomever from Twilight, and attack Niffler or the Harry Potter character of your choice in a bestselling fictional battle to the death.

Question #41594 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dearly beloved,

So the other day I was making some soup, and started to pour chicken broth from a box into the pan I was cooking in. Out came two spherical-looking things that strongly resembled frogg eggs, only rather large, like the size of a marble. It really freaked me out and so I dumped the broth down the sink, "frog eggs" and all. They even had a dark spot in each, so it makes me think that it must have been some kind of egg or living creature or something. The broth was not past its due date, but is it possible that these bulbous, clear, slimy things are a type of mold? Or was I right - were they some sort of animal egg?

- Minnesotan

A: Dear Minnesotan,

I don't think it quite sounds like mold...but then again, after this semester of microbiology classes I'm convinced anything is possible. Frog eggs and dark spots. Hmmm. Were they slimy or was it the broth? And why didn't you open them up?! I'm very disappointed in your lack of adventurism. We could have got the microscope out and everything! I really can't say what they were from your description, though I wish I could have seen them.

Did you buy the broth from WalMart? That could have been next semester's tuition down the drain.

- steen
Question #41592 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear Foreman,

You stated in Board Question #41461 that one of your goals is to, "Score Mad Dates with Brainy Board-readin' Babes." Well, here I am. Could I see a photo of you before I commit to anything?

- Brainy Board-readin' Babe

P.S. ;)

A: Dear Brainy Board-readin' Babe-

Wow, it was way easier to find you than I thought it would be! Amazing.

For one, I must say: you're not committing to anything much. Let's also be clear: neither am I. This is just a date. I'm basically planning on a 100% acceptance rate (barring circumstances which prevent it, of course) of anyone who completes the necessary sequence of events.

But, as we all know, I can't just distribute pictures of myself willy-nilly. There have been some posted, most notably in the infamous Peanut Butter Experiment, but those are edited and that's how they must stay. Even then, they aren't such great pictures.

However, dear reader, I didn't want to leave you out in the cold. And that is why, to give you as much of a visual as possible, I gathered together testimonials from three very real, genuine Board-reading females, all of whom I have been on at least one date with. Please note: While I did solicit these, I did not dictate their format or content. Believe it, baby.

Testimonial #1:

As mentioned, part of the past weekend was spent in the company of Chillylint. While unable to get a full testimonial written, she did give permission to use these quotes:
"Hecks yes, I'd totally give your endorsement."

"Can I give you two thumbs up and five stars? Because you deserve them all. Plus, maybe like a sticker for good performance."

"Your company was greatly enjoyed. As well as the pie. It was wonderful."

Testimonial #2:

I'd suggest Foreman to any girl in need of a rad date. Not only is he the perfect gentlemen (he always walks on the street side...), but his witty conversation, piercing blue eyes, and attentive considerations make him the complete package.

Our date was quite full of merrymaking. I won't describe every detail, but the activity was well planned, creative, and there was never a moment of boredom. He has such a wide range of interests that there wasn't a single topic that was not discussable. I will throw in a singular detail and say that this boy is one mean cook. My taste buds had never before enjoyed such a medley of sweetness.

Good luck and good dating to all those in pursuit. I wish I'd been a witty enough Board girl for him. Alas, I was not enough to hook this catfish. The date, however, will remain a golden trophy on my shelf of accomplishments. What an honor and delight it was to spend the evening with Foreman, the greatest of God's gifts to women.

-Mary Jane

P.S. He wears killer jeans too.
P.S.S. And oh man...the modified elevator shimmy sent shivers down my spine.

Testimonial #3:

"Insights To A Lovely Sophomore's Life... Log. Over a semester."

September 23, 2007
Dear Diary,
Today I met a boy... tall, nicely slim, clad in a Jimmy Eat World t-shirt and jeans. He laughed a little nervously to my friendliness, but one flash of his almost-too-large but perfectly straight set of pearly whites assured me he wasn't utterly creeped out. I read his baby blues better than he reads mine.
It was like at first sight.

September 30, 2007
Dear Diary,
I ran into Foreman again today. Luckily I was still in my Sunday best. His shirt sported the Beatles this time. I found out his work facilitates his fondness of books... jealousy. He wasn't condescending to my involvement in the food industry. We have a common employment background.

October 3, 2007
Dear Diary,
I opened the door to see Foreman standing on my doorstep. Feet firmly planted shoulders width apart, one arm hanging loosely at his side, a piece of pie in the other. Baked goods are a permanent fixture in that boy's hands. Don't get me wrong... they are the best I've ever tasted. My prince charming in a Better than Ezra-embellished baseball tee.

October 25, 2007
Dear Diary,
Foreman can pull off women's skinny jeans and David Bowie button-ups. I have the pictures to prove it.

November 16, 2007
Dear Diary,
We finally went on a date... hallelujah! Foreman was a real gentleman. Paid, planned for and most definitely paired off. He chose the activity -- musical, yet familiar -- and forewent a favorite band for an oxford button-up. He talked just enough during the show to let me know wasn't oblivious to what was going on or my location next to him, but not so much that our neighbors told him to zip it.

December 6, 2007
Dear Diary,
What a Calvin and Hobbes enthusiast... Foreboy knows those comics almost as well as he knows the board archives. I'd never dare borrow a volume from him. A bit book obsessive and possessive, he keeps those pages white and glossy.

December 13, 2007
Dear Diary,
I hope I'm his flavor... and not a shape-shifter. Foreman's classic reply was, "Whatevs."

December 16, 2007
Dear Diary,
So, Foreman's apartment is a functioning democracy when it comes to date planning. An insider sat in on a voting session. All I have to ask is: modified elevator shimmy? Also, the guy can crochet better than I can! Always full of surprises.

Signed and Authenticated,
A Christmas Carol

So, Babe, there you have it. Foreman in the words of three real, live girls. If a picture is worth a thousand words, that was about 65% of a picture for you. I'd also like to point out that we're three for three on the baked goods front. Yeah. It's tasty. Now, get to e-mailing! The mission-accepting e-mails have already started coming in, and we're going to go in chronological order once the new semester starts. Hop on the boat!

Question #41591 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear CATS,

You mentioned in Board Question #41413 that you have been brainwashed, but unfortunately, dear CATS, brainwashing does not mean that your brain is nice and clean. Brainwashing, according to Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, means "a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas". Simply, the 100 Typing Monkeys have changed you to think like themselves. Have you tried remember your past at all? For example, can you remember anything about the #13 incident? You single-handedly took down monkey #13 of the 100 Typing Monkeys. It was fantastic! How tragic if you can't remember such a historic event. You should search through the archives to read about it if you really can't remember what happened. I miss the old CATS, who spoke Engrish (if I recall correctly).

The 100 Typing Monkeys are not as nice as they seem! Kindly direct your attention to Board Question #38688, where 100 Typing Monkeys said, "CATS is stupid-headed. All CATS is writing stupid-headed. CATS is making maybe all answerers that be not human be zagging to stupidheaded. Even if all stupidheaded be not all not human answerers. CATS must need not always being morons. All CATS must move smarter. All CATS must be zigging to library. All our books are be yours so CATS be no stupidheaded." Anyways, I am glad to know that you, CATS, are back from the 100 Typing Monkey's lair, but you are different now. I urge you to seek help - I hear the BYU Counseling Office is excellent and would love to help you be your old self again!

- That Curious Cat

A: Dear Sir,

Well... maybe he helped me with a glutamate imbalance then! I don't remember what it was called and it doesn't really matter anyways. The monkeys are my friends and, for great justice sake, I will not have anyone talking bad about them.

You speak of a #13 incident. I will talk to the monkeys about this. I'm sure they will happily clear up any confusion


PS. Your grammar is atrocious.
A: Dear CATS

The #13 incident? We would not have you weary your mind worrying and wondering about such topics. It's true there was a time when an incident involving yourself and #13 jeopardized our friendship, but it's been forgiven and, in your case, forgotten. When you visit us, as you frequently do to maintain our friendship, if you come across a shrine to #13, and occasional see #12 or #14 crying in front of it, do not dwell on this. We have a new #13. A #13 with whom you get along so well. In fact, this new #13 was instrumental in seeking you out and making you our friend.

There's no reason to ponder the fate of the previous #13. We see no need to bring up past history that might problematize your current state, and the happy state of our friendship.

And we would appreciate it if the readers of this Board would support our efforts by not troubling CATS' mind with ancient history. Such troubling could have terrible, terrible consequences and undo much progress.

-100 Typing Monkeys
Question #41560 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Recently the bookstore was having the "Food Fight" that was BYU vs Utah. People could donate a dollar and then fill out a piece of paper with a Y on it and get it posted all over the place. After thanksgiving, all of them were taken down, and no one knew who won. I have looked around, and found nothing, please help. how much food was donated and how much money was collected? thanks

A: Dear Wondering about Food:

From "BYU-Utah Food Fight Leaves Community as the Winner:"

BYU collected 104,100 pounds of food. The U of U fell short of BYU's total with 81,000 pounds of food collected. BYU [collected] over $20,000. However, the U collected over $25,000 in monetary donations.
That comes to 185,100 pounds of food and over $40,000 collected.

Question #41544 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear Wonderful People Who Will Find the Answer to a Question About the Most Amazing Band,

Who is Donna in the song "Pretty Donna" by Collective Soul?

Pretty Danna

A: Dear Pretty Danna,

I searched the web over for an answer to your question and all I could come up with was it is instrumental. Pretty informative. The Collective Soul website hasn't been working and I'm not about to pay $35 to join their fan club so I can email them and wait three months for an automated reply. Sorry. I can only assume it is one of the band member's girlfriends. I'd like to think it's named after a mother or sister. Regardless of who Donna is, she is one lucky girl (well, werf, I guess). It is a great song.

- steen
Question #41452 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I've looked through the archives, and I haven't found the answer I've been looking for. My sister and I were talking about this at dinner, and we were wondering what percentage of freshmen boys leave after the fall semester on their missions?

- A Freshman Girl

A: Dear A Freshman Girl,

Here are some rough estimates (with help from Portia):

15% of freshman boys don't end up going on a mission, at least not during their freshman year (either they choose not to, they skipped a grade, or whatever other reason there is).

Out of the remaining 85%:

One-third have fall semester birthdays. Of those, about 50% choose to leave after fall semester.
One-third have winter semester birthdays. Of those, about 20% choose to leave after fall semester.
One-third have summer birthdays. Of those, 0% choose to leave after fall semester.

So, in total according to these estimates, about 20% of freshman boys leave after fall semester. This seems to be a reasonable estimate given my observations.

Question #41401 posted on 12/19/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you any of you have any idea how to make your hair look shiny, silky? Is it using a flat iron.. expensive products.. or just a secret product I haven't come in contact with yet? I would really like to know how I am make my hair a little more beautiful.

-NOT vain just wants to tidy up a little

A: Dear Not Vain,

I've been surprised at how much difference a good flat iron has made for my hair. I bought a cheap flat iron several years ago, but then I read this article in Slate magazine and realized that my flat iron was rated the worst of all the flat irons they tested. So I splurged and bought the best one that they recommended and it's made a big difference. (It's pricey, but I found it for half off on eBay.)

Like you, I'm not hugely vain about how I look (I don't think that fashionistas are allowed to become librarians) but a good flat iron and a little styling creme / gel goes a long way.

- Katya
A: Dear Sessifret,

The secret to amazing hair is to cater to its needs. If you don't know what it is that your hair is lacking, ask your stylist next time you go in for a trim. Speaking of which, it's also good to get your hair trimmed often (sorry, I don't know the specifics). This will keep the ends healthier which in turn makes the rest of your hair look better, too.

A good conditioner can go a long way in making your hair shiny and silky. I actually use three plus two leave-in creams after I'm done showering. Each one serves a specific purpose and, yes, I can tell the difference when I don't use them all (but then, I'm very vain about my hair).

Like Katya says, if you're going to use a flat iron, you want to get a good one. Beware of heat damage that cheaper flat irons can cause (and curling irons and blow dryers). If you want to try a flat iron alternative, I have found this to be absolutely amazing and totally worth every penny!

Like I said, for more tips and ideas, be sure to ask your stylist.

Hope that helps!