Dear Brainy Board-readin' Babe-
Wow, it was way easier to find you than I thought it would be! Amazing.
For one, I must say: you're not committing to anything much. Let's also be clear: neither am I. This is just a date. I'm basically planning on a 100% acceptance rate (barring circumstances which prevent it, of course) of anyone who completes the necessary sequence of events.
But, as we all know, I can't just distribute pictures of myself willy-nilly. There have been some posted, most notably in the infamous Peanut Butter Experiment
, but those are edited and that's how they must stay. Even then, they aren't such great pictures.
However, dear reader, I didn't want to leave you out in the cold. And that is why, to give you as much of a visual as possible, I gathered together testimonials from three very real, genuine Board-reading females, all of whom I have been on at least one date with. Please note: While I did solicit these, I did not dictate their format or content. Believe it, baby.
As mentioned, part of the past weekend was spent in the company of Chillylint. While unable to get a full testimonial written, she did give permission to use these quotes:
"Hecks yes, I'd totally give your endorsement."
"Can I give you two thumbs up and five stars? Because you deserve them all. Plus, maybe like a sticker for good performance."
"Your company was greatly enjoyed. As well as the pie. It was wonderful."
I'd suggest Foreman to any girl in need of a rad date. Not only is he the perfect gentlemen (he always walks on the street side...), but his witty conversation, piercing blue eyes, and attentive considerations make him the complete package.
Our date was quite full of merrymaking. I won't describe every detail, but the activity was well planned, creative, and there was never a moment of boredom. He has such a wide range of interests that there wasn't a single topic that was not discussable. I will throw in a singular detail and say that this boy is one mean cook. My taste buds had never before enjoyed such a medley of sweetness.
Good luck and good dating to all those in pursuit. I wish I'd been a witty enough Board girl for him. Alas, I was not enough to hook this catfish. The date, however, will remain a golden trophy on my shelf of accomplishments. What an honor and delight it was to spend the evening with Foreman, the greatest of God's gifts to women.
P.S. He wears killer jeans too.
P.S.S. And oh man...the modified elevator shimmy sent shivers down my spine.
"Insights To A Lovely Sophomore's Life... Log. Over a semester."
September 23, 2007
Today I met a boy... tall, nicely slim, clad in a Jimmy Eat World t-shirt and jeans. He laughed a little nervously to my friendliness, but one flash of his almost-too-large but perfectly straight set of pearly whites assured me he wasn't utterly creeped out. I read his baby blues better than he reads mine.
It was like at first sight.
September 30, 2007
I ran into Foreman again today. Luckily I was still in my Sunday best. His shirt sported the Beatles this time. I found out his work facilitates his fondness of books... jealousy. He wasn't condescending to my involvement in the food industry. We have a common employment background.
October 3, 2007
I opened the door to see Foreman standing on my doorstep. Feet firmly planted shoulders width apart, one arm hanging loosely at his side, a piece of pie in the other. Baked goods are a permanent fixture in that boy's hands. Don't get me wrong... they are the best I've ever tasted. My prince charming in a Better than Ezra-embellished baseball tee.
October 25, 2007
Foreman can pull off women's skinny jeans and David Bowie button-ups. I have the pictures to prove it.
November 16, 2007
We finally went on a date... hallelujah! Foreman was a real gentleman. Paid, planned for and most definitely paired off. He chose the activity -- musical, yet familiar -- and forewent a favorite band for an oxford button-up. He talked just enough during the show to let me know wasn't oblivious to what was going on or my location next to him, but not so much that our neighbors told him to zip it.
December 6, 2007
What a Calvin and Hobbes enthusiast... Foreboy knows those comics almost as well as he knows the board archives. I'd never dare borrow a volume from him. A bit book obsessive and possessive, he keeps those pages white and glossy.
December 13, 2007
I hope I'm his flavor... and not a shape-shifter. Foreman's classic reply was, "Whatevs."
December 16, 2007
So, Foreman's apartment is a functioning democracy when it comes to date planning. An insider sat in on a voting session. All I have to ask is: modified elevator shimmy? Also, the guy can crochet better than I can! Always full of surprises.
Signed and Authenticated,
A Christmas Carol
So, Babe, there you have it. Foreman in the words of three real, live girls. If a picture is worth a thousand words, that was about 65% of a picture for you. I'd also like to point out that we're three for three on the baked goods front. Yeah. It's tasty. Now, get to e-mailing
! The mission-accepting e-mails have already started coming in, and we're going to go in chronological order once the new semester starts
. Hop on the boat!