"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #36679 posted on 06/02/2007 3:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear Sports Nut

If you are seriously considering pursuing your love of baseball into the world of academia, you should absolutely, positively, 100% definitely go talk to Dr. Rich Kimball in the history department. You should probably take his class on Sports History and you should go buy Doris Kearns Goodwin's other book--Wait Till Next Year: A Memoir. Sorry to be so bossy, but it's the truth. Also, (you don't have to post this next part if you don't want to) HumbleMaster, the day has finally arrived--I know who you are! I took a class from Dr. Soper with you.


- Sneak

A: Dear Sneak

I'm afraid you are mistaken. I've met Dr. Soper. I've spoken with Dr. Soper on more than one occasion. I've sought Dr. Soper's advice. I've seen Dr. Soper present a paper at a conference. But I have never taken a class from Dr. Soper (though I know who you think I am).

-Humble Master
Question #36588 posted on 06/02/2007 3:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear Red Team,

We know how to become writers, but how do we go about challenging you?

- The Blue Team

A: Dear Blue Team~

I'm glad someone has shown up to save us from this madness. Defeating the Red Team is no small task, and I hope you know what you're getting yourself into.

First, you need to get the Red Team to show its ugly red face; this is done by asking a slew of nasty questions that require research right around some high-stress time of year, such as finals week or midterms. With any luck, the regular Boardlings won't be able to field all of your horrible questions, and they will go over-hours and turn red. The situation will get worse and worse, until one of our editors will pick up the little red phone in werf's office and say quietly into the receiver, "Give me the Red Team."

Then they'll come. They'll emerge from their holes, their pits, their cavities, and their caves, and they'll start shredding those questions like an unholy behemoth seeking revenge against humanity. While they're at it, the rest of us normal writers will be ducking our heads and trying to stay out of their way.

How to challenge the Red Team, then? First, you must become a writer. This isn't easy, but it's certainly worth it. Second, you must be absolutely insane to the point of being willing to show your face while the Red Team goes to work on campus. Answer more questions than they do, and rob them of their legitimacy.

Don't want to become a writer? Well, I guess then you'd have to accurately guess when the Red Team is going to work, then you'd need to somehow access the Board's master list of questions, and answer them. No, I really don't see this working.

If you want to take them on in a water-balloon fight, you should post a challenge on the Board board, and hope that maybe one of them looks at it. Or email me, and I'll be your medium. There's something refreshingly direct about a water-balloon fight, isn't there? I can't promise you they'll want to participate, of course, but I will do my best.

Good luck, Blue Team, our hopes go with you. Free us from the Red Scare!

~Hobbes

PS. My intense powers of clairvoyance make me think it's not unlikely we'll be hearing from the Red Team again fairly soon.
Question #36586 posted on 06/02/2007 3:36 a.m.
Q:

Attenion Board Members...

Today, while driving home from an extremely long journey I noticed that there are little black dots all the way around the edge of the windshield. What are these dots and why are they there?

- Yours, Briar Rose. (As Dictated to Bella Twigs)

A: Dear Rose Twigs,

I always figured they were just a built-in sun blocker, but apparently it's a little bit more involved than that. According to this site, the black dots are part of an enamel band baked into the outside edge of windshield glass that allows the windshield to adhere to the car. The dots' basic purpose it to provide a "finished" edge to this enamel. It softens what would otherwise be a harsh line between black edge and clear windshield.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #36584 posted on 06/02/2007 3:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is there any place on campus that you can have a private lunch with a group of friends and/or family?

Peace and quiet @ BYU

A: Dear P&Q at BYU,

You might want to look into Legends Grille, the MOA Cafe, or, if you just want to grab some good old fashioned Cougareat food, you can take it to the small outdoor courtyard on the east side of the Wilk and eat on the picnic tables there. I find that to be a nice, oft-overlooked place to quietly enjoy one's meal.

-krebsccout
A: Dear P&Q,

You might also try The Skyroom Restaurant, in the Wilkinson Center. (Last time I was there, I wasn't terribly impressed with the food, but the view is amazing.)

- Katya
Question #36581 posted on 06/02/2007 3:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

national geographic magazine had an issue where the cover had an extreme close up of a strawberry with miniscule diamonds inserted near the seeds. what was the issue date? where can i get a copy of the magazine or cover photo?

This One Girl

A: Dear That One Girl,

The issue in question is from March 2002 (vol. 201) and highlights an article called "Diamonds: The Real Story." You can find copies of it here on eBay for about six dollars.

- Katya
Question #36573 posted on 06/02/2007 3:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Recently, the Boston Red Sox hit back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs, becoming only the fifth team to do so in history. This got me thinking about listening to Seattle Mariner games on the radio in my childhood when the Mariners did the same thing. (Actually, in my memory, they hit, like, six or seven consecutive homers. Obviously, that's not the case. That's impossible.) In my extensive Googling, I can't find record of the Mariners doing this. I need confirmation that they hit four consecutive homers! Please tell me it wasn't just three homers. I remember going hogwild and running around the living room waggling my arms like a classically excited little kid. Furthermore, is there any video or audio of the event occurring? I'd like to relive it if possible.

- (bubba.)

A: Dear Bubba

I'm sorry, but in the articles I looked at there is no mention of the Mariners ever hitting four consecutive home runs (it's always a shame to have childhood happiness bubbles burst). According to this article:<QUOTE>The other four teams [besides the Boston Red Sox] to hit four consecutive home runs were the 1961 Braves (Eddie Mathews, Hank Aaron, Joe Adcock, and Frank Thomas); the 1963 Indians (Woodie Held, Pedro Ramos, Tito Francona -- yes, The Skipper's dad -- and Larry Brown); the 1964 Twins (Tony Oliva, Bob Allison, Jimmie Hall and Harmon Killebrew); and last year's Dodgers (Jeff Kent, J.D. Drew, Russell Martin, and Marlon Anderson).Four consecutive home runs is the record, so the most the Mariners could ever have hit in a row is three. According to the Baseball Almanac the Mariners did hit seven home runs during the entire game four times once in 1985, 1996, 1999, and 2002. But I couldn't find any record of the most consecutive home runs by Seattle.

-Humble Master

Question #36572 posted on 06/02/2007 3:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the 5th largest library in the United States?

- Your stapler

A: Dear suddenly anthropomorphized stapler,

The combined holdings of all libraries at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign make up the fifth largest library in the United States, after the Library of Congress, Harvard University, the Boston Public Library system, and Yale University. As such, UIUC's library is also the third largest academic library in the United States and the country's largest public academic library.

- Katya
Question #36571 posted on 06/02/2007 3:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

It's that time of my life: all my friends are leaving on their missions. What do I do!? My friend and I are stuck here at home with nothing to do and no one to do it with. It'd be easier to make more friends were I at school, but I'm at home for the summer, and there's no one around. What should I do? What did you ladies (and/or gents) do when everyone was called to serve and, as proud as you were of them, you became devoid of male friends?

Yours Truly,
Eponine (who is running out of female characters and felt weird signing this one with a male one.)

A: Dear Eponine,

Well, for the summer I went home and worked a million hours with my best friend, in a warehouse. Who needs other friends when the two of you have a warehouse and some sweet, sweet cash? Institute is actually always my saving grace over the summer, though. It's a social hub where I'm from - even though I didn't go to the singles' branch, I could make a lot of friends by frequenting institute. It helped a lot that summer as I got to know more people.

I did keep in close touch with one of those missionaries during that summer, which was really fun. He was the one I missed the most, so it was nice to still be in contact with him. Made the rest of the withdrawals go away a little.

When the summer ended, I went back to BYU and to be honest went through a few more withdrawals. We (my apartment - we moved out of the dorms together) really missed those boys for the first little while. However, in our new ward we quickly found a first-class apartment of top-notch guys to bond with, and things went swimmingly after that.

Good luck. I know it's weird to be used to male company and then suddenly be left out to dry.

-Olympus
A: Dear,

You know, I thought the switch to guy friends older than me would be really weird. It really wasn't.

Go to institute and the singles ward. Hang out with your girl friends, work a lot, go do whatever's fun around there to do. Just get through the summer, and when you come back, make friends with whoever's in your ward or classes. It's surprising how easy it'll be.

For now, what do you usually do at home? Do those things. Also, become a tourist in your own town and go see the things you've heard are cool, but have never gotten around to. Go on road trips. Take up rock climbing. Write the best puppet shows in the history of ever. Learn to dance. Or play the guitar. Or cook. Pick something you've always thought was cool, and do it.

And next year, don't go home for the summer. Honestly. It's nice here, there are jobs, and there are friends. I like it, anyway.

-Uffish Thought
Question #36569 posted on 06/02/2007 3:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the difference between a fatherland and a motherland?

- spaced it

A: Dear spaced it,

Gender, clearly.

-Yellow
A: Dear spaced it,

Well, when a fatherland and a motherland love each other very much . . .

- Katya
A: Dear spaced it,

Also, I think the motherland usually has a harder time when the little ones secede. The fatherland can't seem to wait to get back his independence.

-krebscout
A: Katya,

Where do babylands come from?

I think I love you.

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear spaced it,

Okay, okay. Enough with the jokes.

A fatherland is the nation of one's fathers, one's native home. In English, the term is often associated with Nazi Germany since the German word vaterland (which simply means "homeland") was directly translated and widely used as "Fatherland" in news reports and anti-Nazi propoganda. The direct meaning does not have this connotation.

In a colonial setting, a motherland refers to the colonizing country to which outlying colonies are tied. It also can bring to mind the phrase "Mother Russia" and its associated connotations. In all other settings, it has the same meaning as "fatherland," though it does not have the Nazi-related connotation.

Smile!

-Yellow

Question #36568 posted on 06/02/2007 3:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am a pretty darn ambitious student, with a lot of AP Credit. (I am a senior in high school heading up to BYU this fall) I am going to major in Electrical Engineering, and want to get a lot of prerequisites done before i head of for my mission. Would you recommend knocking out classes like phys 220, math 343, math 214, cs142, cs 235, ecen212, and csecen-cs 125 ALL before my mission, or taking things slower. I definitely am not an oober-nerd seeking solely for my text books as my best friends. I am just wondering if anyone on the board, from experience, can let me know if taking all of those classes (in addition to BofM, american heritage, IM's, other GE's, and hot dates) would be too much for my freshman year. Thanks.

-nikebball

-oh and when does that calc refresher course start, and how can i register for it? i want to take it this fall before i start my freshman year. thanks.

A: Dear Kin of Mine,

I don't know about the calc refresher course and I wasn't an electrical engineering major, but I'd recommend you take things a little slower. First of all, you should be making some time for serious mission preparation before you go, and having all those classes won't leave you much time for scripture study and other reading you should probably do.

Also, when you get back, you might want some time in college to think about things. As nice as graduating early is, it forces you into the work world quickly, and sometimes it's good to take a couple years in college, experiment with some classes and careers and decide what you really want to do. Spreading things out also gives you time to have other life experiences - with too many classes, you can't socialize as much or work on hobbies as much. Rushing through school, you might regret missing out on some other things.

Those are just my thoughts.

Nike
A: Dear nikebball,

EngT 295R (Engineering Math Refresher) is only offered fall and winter semesters, but it's offered as a block class, so you'll be able to get through it in the first half of the semester, at least.

As for your other questions, I'd recommend taking a lot of those harder classes after your mission. It's not so much because I think you won't be able to handle it your freshman year, but because you're going to forget a lot of what you learn over the mission, anyway. It will be much easier for you to do well in advanced classes which directly build upon those core classes if you've taken them the previous semester, not two years previously.

- Katya

P.S. It's "über-nerd," which is, I think, proof that I am one. ;)
A: Dear nikebball,

Aside from the engineering math course that Katya found, there's also a less-formal (but still intense) review during the week or so before classes start. It's not for credit, but during those four or five days they really run you through everything. Get in touch with the engineering department to find out exactly when and where it's held.

—Laser Jock
Question #36582 posted on 06/02/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Ok so I am getting married in 2 1/2 months. While I am super excited, and couldn't have picked a better man in the whole world to marry, I am totally stressed out because like I mentioned I only have 2 1/2 months to plan an entire wedding.

To make matters worse, I am in a pretty remote area, well over 2000 miles away from Utah (my wedding destination) and so even getting there for just a preliminary visit is going to be costly and well, near impossible.

I'm not getting married in the temple, so I have to find a great but inexpensive wedding venue (preferrably outdoors). I also want to simplify things by eliminating anything "unnecessary" since obviously I'm in a time crunch.

So anyways, does anyone have any advice, even for one or two of my problems, or things that you did for your wedding, that would help out?

Thanks!

-Stressed in the Klondike

A: Dear A Klondike Bar Sounds Really Good Right Now,

Delegation is going to be my main piece of advice for you. With a shortened span of time and being away from where you're getting married, I think you need to enlist the help of family and friends to get it all done.

For instance, you could assign your fiance/mother/sister/aunt/cousin/bum on the street to research local photographers for you. Have them bring you price estimates and a few samples of each photographer's work, and then you can make the decision. Quick and easy. You can do the same thing with wedding and reception locations: have someone go online (or, even better, someone IN Utah scout the places for you) and you decide what you want. Same thing with local florists and other wedding businesses you'll need to enlist the help of. I kind of insisted on doing everything myself at our wedding, and I could have saved a few headaches and brain cells had I let others help out a bit.

Also, be organized. Write down exactly what you want so you'll end up loving the event, and I'll bet when you see it in writing, it won't seem nearly as scary to accomplish as it is in your head (that's ALWAYS true for me!). Make deadlines for yourself: you'll need to book the locations and get your dress early (remember time for alterations), but buying the guest book can wait. Put the most important things first!

Other than that, honestly, make time for your fiance. I know that won't help you simplify anything, but enjoy this time when you're planning your life together and anticipating such joy. Don't let your wedding be more important than your relationship; if you can keep your priorities straight, you'll love your wedding, no matter how it turns out.

I wish you lots of luck! Happy nuptials!

Nike
Question #36579 posted on 06/02/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is it really a good idea to "wrangle" (see Board Question #36501 ) a guy into being your boyfriend?

---Portia

A: Dear Portia,

One of the definitions of wrangle is "to obtain, often by contrivance or scheming." I don't see any problem with putting in effort and planning into a relationship. What do you think it is considered when you make yourself look especially nice when you know you are going to see a specific guy. How about when you make it so you can talk with a guy or see a guy that you otherwise probably wouldn't see? I consider that to be scheming. So scheme away dear and find yourself a great guy!

~Krishna
A: Dear Portia,

...Isn't that what always happens?

Just kidding.

Nike
A: My dear,

Why not? Seems like a good method to me! Once you get your rope around the guy you want, don't let him go, no matter how hard he fights! Pen him up with the other cattle and prepare him for the SLAUGHTER! HA HA HA!!!!

...

I am, of course, kidding. I do not treat boys like bovines. When I like a boy and I have sufficient reason to believe he may like me, I am fairly obvious about it. Considering how forward I tend to be, some might think of me as one who "wrangles"...

- The Defenestrator
Question #36574 posted on 06/02/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So I know that you all have dating applications for people to fill out, but who wants to fill out my dating application?

Yours Truly,
Eponine (who has decided to stick with this one for a while, due to character traits obvious to those Les Miserables fans)

A: Dear Eponine,

I don't, due to the obvious complication that both of us happen to be female.

I think dating applications are pretty darn creepy anyway.

-Tangerine
A: Dear Eponine,

I will happily fill out your application. Also I want to point out that I have no dating application. I will go out with anyone who wants to. I sure hope this helps. Please don't hate me.

-- Brutus
A: Dear Eponine,

Like Brutus, I don't have a dating application, mostly because my wife wouldn't approve. Which, I am afraid, is the same reason that I have no desire to fill out yours.

Keep the Faith.

-St. Jerome
A: Dear Eponine,

I don't have a dating application either. Mostly due to lack of interest by any of the readers. LOL I think you need to make more of an argument as to why someone would want to fill out your dating application before you get any takers. What's so great about yourself that someone would actually fill out an application to date you?

-The Mischievous Madame
A: Dear Eponine~

Now, if I were to actually to meet the Eponine, I would take her out in a heartbeat. When it comes to fictional crushes, she's high on my list.

However, I have no interest in filling out your dating application. I'm sure you're a nice girl, but on the other hand, you might be a 40-year-old serial killer bent on my destruction. One musn't take such chances.

Take Brutus on a date. I've also never met him, but I'm sure he's a nice boy. On the other hand, he might be a schizophrenic leprechaun. The Internet is a funny place.

~Hobbes
Question #36587 posted on 06/02/2007 midnight
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

We were wondering if telegrams still exist, because I really really want one.

-Kisses, BR

A: Dear BR,

See Board Question #23511.

- the librarian
Question #36578 posted on 06/02/2007 midnight
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is there a policy against dating your TA?

- Anonymous

A: Dear anonymous,

Most departments prohibit it. See Board Question #1362.

- the librarian