"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #36719 posted on 06/04/2007 3:43 a.m.

Dear BR,

In response to Board Question #36587 and therefore also Board Question #23511, International Telegram http://www.itelegram.com, took over Western Union's old network and will gladly deliver a telegram to you in any of over 220 countries starting at the low low price of $18.95 for up to 100 words.


Question #36644 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is it really worth it to go to New Student Orientation? It sounds pretty lame to me.

- Yes, yes, I know... too cool for school

A: Dear Too Coo' fo' Skoo',

It might be. I assume you're a new freshman, which means you probably have no idea about the alphabet soup you're about to enter. You will need to know where the Wilk, the JSB, the ASB, the HFAC, the JFSB, the SWKT (pronounced "Swicket") and the Talmage are, among other places. It would be a pretty great advantage before coming to know that most religion classes take place in the Joseph Smith Building (the aforementioned JSB) and art and music classes are commonly held in the HFAC (the Harris Fine Arts Center), for example. It would be really good to know where the library and the Cougareat (where restaurants are on campus) are before you start classes and suddenly need a book or a chalupa more than you need oxygen (which happens more than you might think). You can learn all these things without attending orientation, but learning it that much faster eliminates the inevitable headache that comes with being hideously confused at a rather large university.

I'd say give it a shot if you have time. Have fun exploring!

A: Dear yes,

I went to one morning worth of NSO, I thought it was lame. If you can read a map then you're already capable of figuring out 90% of what NSO would tell you. The other 10% can be taken care of at One Stop, there will be signs all over the Wilk (WSC) telling you how to get there.

-Curious Physics Minor
A: Dear cool,

One other thing—I did Freshman Academy my first semester here, and somehow my NSO group included all the same people. I ended up in 1—3 classes with those people, so it was a chance to get a little head start with making friends. That might be something to consider, for anyone who's in Freshman Academy. (Assuming, of course, that they still do it that way.)

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Yes, yes,

Additionally, they serve dinner at NSO, which is why I went. It wasn't particularly amazing, but it was free. I'll go a long way for free food.

Keep the Faith.

-St. Jerome
A: Dear Yes,

Like St. Jerome, I went to NSO for the free food. In fact, I've been a Y-Group leader for NSO twice for that same reason. It is not great, but it is free, and it is food, and you will not be here at BYU for long before you learn to truly appreciate the free food that can be had here if you know where to look.

My Y-Group leader was also quite cute, and I had a bit of a crush on him.


A: Dear you,

To add my voice to LJ's - I have one friend who was at band camp during NSO, and we sometimes still make jokes from that few days. She's sad she missed it. I'd say, if you have a good reason to skip out (like your family is only in town for a couple days and they want to do things), you'll get over it, but why not, really?? Just so you can feel happy inside yourself that you didn't go to something that might have been lame? Just go. If you hate it, you can always just quit going.

Question #36643 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

i think a girl i work with has an eating disorder, but she isn't super thin. is that possible? i think she had some medical problems which affect her weight and hormones, but medicine didn't help, and i think she's really hurting herself trying to compensate. she'll be at work for a whole 8-10 hour shift, on her feet, but goes without eating so long that she gets headaches. she'll drink some juice and pop some excedrin and go back to work.

a friend used to take her out to lunch and stuff a lot, but he left for study abroad and ever since she's been kind of depressed. she really likes him, but is convinced that he isn't attracted to her because she isn't thin enough. which seems silly because she's beautiful, and they're always together.

last night she came home from a family vacation and was telling us at work about how awful it was having people who made her eat two or three times a day and how she felt fat and sick the whole time because of it. she said the only time she feels good about her body is when she's hungry.

what can i say or do? should i talk to her friend when he comes back? i think she's more likely to listen to him. she should definitely get some professional help too, but should she see a regular doctor? a therapist? both? help!

- a friend

A: Dear friend,

It is possible to have an eating disorder without being super-thin. Bulimia is characterized by a failure to lose weight (although note that if purging, accompanied by fasting and weight loss is present, that would be anorexia, whereas purging that fails to cause weight loss is bulimia).

I can't say whether or not your friend has an eating disorder. Her comment that eating regularly makes her feel fat makes me suspicious, but it's not sufficient evidence to say for sure. If you're worried, you can refer her to a therapist, but if you're not very close she may take offense, even if it will end up helping her. If she does have an eating disorder, she ought to see a therapist first. A doctor will probably tell her she isn't eating enough (if she isn't), and perhaps refer her to a therapist. If you want to know other ways that you can help her, this is a good resource. And no offense to her friend, but I don't think he would be helpful in this situation.

-The Supershrink
Question #36640 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the best property to own in Monopoly?

- The Thimble

A: Dear Tiny Metal Object,

I'm not telling. I have a series of properties I always buy when playing Monopoly and it bankrupts everyone else every time. Like I'd tell you my secret (snorts derisively).

I will tell you, though, it's probably not Baltic Avenue.

A: Dear Thimble,

According to Wikipedia, the most commonly landed on spaces are Illinois Avenue, New York Avenue, B&O Railroad, and Reading Railroad. Mediterranean Avenue and Baltic Avenue are the least commonly landed on. These probabilities are due to a number of factors in the game, including the fact that players are statistically more likely to begin a turn on the "Jail" space, while they never begin a turn on the "Go directly to Jail" space, the card that says "Take a ride on the Reading Railroad," etc. For more information, see the linked article.

- Katya
A: Dear Thimble

I'll be relying on some analysis of various members of my family's tactics in playing Monopoly, as we went through a stretcha couple of years ago when that was the game of choice and it was played most Sundays before dinner. I still remember most strategies they employed. I had never really thought about our strategies like this before you asked the question, but now I see some very different methods being used, and some very distinct patterns in how we played.

My younger sister, Less Humble, always tries to gather the four railroads. She'll trade anything for them. Once she gets those four cards she'll go for other monopolies. She won more often than I would have liked.

My youngest brother, Humble Youth, tends to go for the big ticket properties, that are hard to build up, but can bankrupt a player in one landing once they are built up. He won less often, but when he did he won big (he needed some lucky rolls of his own and some unfortunate rolls from other people, as it is easy to roll right past the dark blue squares).

My older brother, More-or-Less Humble, preferred the cheap properties that you can build up immediately. If he won it was usually a short game, because if it dragged out those properties never hurt enough to finish other players off.

My strategy was to get the mid-range properties. I especially enjoyed getting the Orange and Red corner going. If I had those my next goal would be to get the yellow monopoly, rather than the pink one. And I won with some frequency.

Now certainly we all branched out of those preferences, and the way people landed on spaces affected their ability to get what they wanted, but I think if everyone had their druthers they would have gone for those areas I described first (I won most often, if I'm not mistaken, so that may be a hint as to the best strategy).

-Humble Master
Question #36639 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is Taco Bell healthier than other fast food restaurants? (For instance McDonald's and Wendy's). It's a simple question, just say yes and we'll move on.

- Sr. Delicioso

A: Dear Asker,

All signs point to yes.

-Magic 8 Ball
Question #36638 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

actions may speak more loudly than words, but do they speak more truthfully?

my best friend and i are in kind of a jim/pam situation. then werf kissed me, but said werf didn't want it to change our friendship; and then werf starts acting like we're actually dating. everywhere we go people assume we're a couple, which is fine since i want to be, but werf insists on saying we're just friends.

i'm not sure whether werf is just dealing with some commitment issues, or really is only interested in being friends. and this is complicated by the fact that i'm supposed to be moving to another state soon, so i don't have a lot of time for werf to figure it out.

so, i guess i'm not asking what i should do or say because i've tried lots of asking and doing but to no avail. the problem is which i'm supposed to believe. do i believe that werf just wants to be friends like werf says? or do i believe that if werf treats me like we are in a relationship that we are, and werf is just afraid to say so?

- daydream believer

A: Dear Monkee,

It sounds like your friend/significant other is unsure of his/her feelings for you, and is also really scared to let you go. He/she likes you but isn't sure what should be done about it, and he/she is worrying that if SOMETHING doesn't happen, you'll skip along on your merry way and find someone else. (Either that or he/she is taking advantage of some of the benefits of a relationship without really having it be so.)

So what should you believe? Tough question, seeing as how we don't know the person in question. But if he/she is actually saying you're just friends, maybe that's as far as he/she is actually willing to go. I wouldn't assume you're in a relationship until both of you decide to go that route; otherwise, you may be setting yourself up for heartache.

Good luck. I hope this helps.

A: Dear daydream believer,

For the purposes of this question (and of avoiding excessive werf-age), I'm going to assume that you're a girl and your s.o. is a boy.

So. His actions are saying that he wants to act like a couple and have some of the perks of that relationship, but his words are saying that he doesn't want the burden or commitment of being an "official" couple.

Like Nike said, this is an amazing recipe for getting your heart broken. I think that you need to assume you're just friends unless he says otherwise, and I also think you need to enforce boundaries on his behavior, such as would be suitable to people who are just friends.


- Katya
A: Dear girl (also my assumption for this question),

I've done this before. He even encouraged us to both go on a lot of dates with other people, so I did, even though my emotions were always with him. (He, however, actually went out with other people only twice, and those were midday things. weird.)

You should look at his overall attitude toward life. Is he the type of kid who likes to play? Is he coming out of an emotionally rough time (i.e., a bad breakup, etc.)? Does he give any sorts of reasons for his attitude, and you just don't believe him?

Then come back and ask a follow-up question if you still need to. In my case, he said he didn't want a girlfriend and what he really wanted was just to be friends, even though we were, for all intents and purposes, dating like crazy. Turned out he wasn't kidding.

Pay attention to the way he treats the rest of his life. Had I done that, I would have had a good indicator of what this kid was all about. You might have the same results. A caution: be honest with yourself (and use friends and roommates who know you both for their 3rd party opinions, too). Just because you want it one way or the other doesn't necessarily mean it's so.

Question #36637 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I really love the movies by M. Night Shyamalan. I think the man is a genius. And he has good standards and makes pretty clean movies. I especially loved "The Village." But I noticed that of all his movies, that one seems to be the one that people criticize the most. I have read all sorts of reviews from people who say that it was boring, predictable, cheesy, not scary enough, etc...

Now, if you're expecting a real horror thriller, of course you'll be disappointed. It wasn't meant to truly be a horror movie. The few creepy parts are only there to serve the purpose of the REAL plot, which is a beautiful character study and love story. And it's really not predictable at all if you let yourself get lost in the world M. Night has created, rather than watching it from a detatched, sceptical mindframe. The first time I saw it, I was completely floored by the ending.

So, this got me really curious. What is YOUR opinion of "The Village" and other M. Night movies? Which one is your favorite? What do you think he'll come up with next?

- Neapolitan

A: Dear Poly,

I really don't like Mr. Shyamalan's movies, but it's not his fault: I just hate scary movies in general. I'm a total scaredy cat.

I have, however, seen both "The Sixth Sense" and "Unbreakable." Besides the scary stuff, I'll admit "The Sixth Sense" had a great story and good surprise ending. Once I got the gory images out of my head, it was actually a good show. "Unbreakable," though, was incredibly stupid, in my opinion. I left feeling kind of depressed and most definitely disappointed. I think they could have done better on that one.

What will he do next? Make something slightly less scary and creepy, I hope.

A: Dear Neapoliton

I love Shyamalan's films. I agree that the man is a genius. However, I have to point out that by FAR his most criticized film is Lady in the Water. Looking at rottentomatoes.com's list of his major studio films, 84% of the nation's critics gave positive reviews to The Sixth Sense, 68% to Unbreakable, 75% to Signs, 43% to The Village, and only 24% gave positive reviews to Lady in the Water.

However, I've enjoyed all his films. Unbreakable is one of my favorite films of all time. I consider it a masterpiece, and a perfect deconstruction of an American medium and genre. My next favorite of his films would probably be Signs, followed by The Village, then Sixth Sense, then Lady in the Water.

I enjoy the manner he plays with different elements of the fantastic genres. Sixth Sense was a ghost movie, Unbreakable a comic book movie, Signs an alien invasion movie, The Village a creature feature, and Lady in the Water was a fairy tale. But even as he's embracing those elements he throws in others (The Village was his romance film (and in some ways it followed the path of a romantic comedy).

I enjoy the Shyamalan's films, but I think he was a little arrogant in Lady in the Water (he continually attacks the role of critics, essentially making his movie a defense of storytelling for storytelling's sake, but then casts himself in the role of a writer who, through his work, will change the world because storytelling is so important...you can't have it both ways). I don't think the film deserved the absolute beating it took at the hands of critics, but really he attacks film critics (literally) and the role they play in society (figuratively) throughout the film, so I can see why they might not have been pleased with it. I actually rather enjoyed the film. But I think having that film flop will be good for his work in the future, forcing him into new avenues of storytelling. However, rumor is that his next film is going to be R-rated and much gorier than his previous (well, either that movie is his next one, or he was going to be doing an adaptation of a Nickelodeon cartoon...either way he is changing his M.O. for his next film), so I'm not sure what to expect in the future from Mr. Shyamalan.

-Humble Master
A: Dear rainbow,

I actually really liked Lady in the Water, but not at first. It took me a couple days to get around to liking it, and that was when I decided to look at it in the major way it seemed to be made - really just a movie version of a story he used to tell his kids. Then it was really charming for me.

The first time I saw Signs, I also was incredibly turned off. Hated. It. I felt incredibly preached at and a lot like he was trying too hard to make a painfully obvious point. The second time I saw it (three or four years later) I really liked it and changed those opinions. huh.

I really liked The Village. The plot twist was incredibly intriguing to me and was such a social commentary.

Loved The Sixth Sense just because it's one of the movies you have to go back and watch again to catch everything. Those are my favorites.

I have a different opinion of Unbreakable every time I see it. Don't ask me to explain this. I see different things I like and don't like every time. Weird.

I guess what I'm trying to say with this whole answer is that I am intrigued by the guy. His movies are always marketed differently from what they are, which I think is actually a drawback for him because then people are disappointed if they're going hoping to see what they thought it would be. (i.e., Lady in the Water wasn't really scary, even though it was marketed as a mysteriously scary movie.) Still, I like that feeling of never knowing what to expect. I like going in without preconceptions, and I like that he always has something meaty to say. I like that it sometimes takes some work on my part to figure it out, but he's still clear about his message - he usually communicates well.

That's my two cents.

A: Dear Neapolitan,

I was entertained by Signs (particularly the moment when it made my dad scream), and not so much by the The Village. Other than that, the only one of his movies I've seen is The Sixth Sense, which I hated because It scared me so badly. The night that I watched it, I didn't sleep at all, and after that I slept with the light on for weeks. Just thinking about it now is making me scared again. I can hardly even laugh at "I see dead people" jokes anymore. I have no idea why it scares me so much, but I've sworn never to watch it again.

A: Dear Olympus

I agree entirely with your point about his movies being marketed poorly. I recall that the previews for Unbreakable made it seem more or less like it was going to be Sixth Sense 2 (which couldn't be further from the truth).

-Humble Master
A: Dear,

I agree they're mis-advertised, too, so even though I don't like scary movies, I don't trust the trailers, anymore.

I love watching his movies because they make me feel smart. There's more to all of them than just a story, they've got twists and symbolism, little quirks and points and running themes and hidden gems for those who care to find them.

The first time I saw the Village, I'll admit my favorite thing was that I called the plot twist at the end. I was joking, but I got it spot on, so I claim it anyway. It's not my favorite of the bunch, and I won't buy it unless I find it for REALLY cheap. But I liked watching it.

The movies are never quite what I expect, and that's part of what I enjoy. That I go, my only expectation being that it'll be a little more intricate than most movies, and I'm generally pleasantly surprised. So I don't know what he'll do next. And I like that.

Oh, and I liked Sixth Sense best. It was the first I saw, and the most thought-provoking and interesting to me, and a good story, to boot. The rest are pretty cool, too, though. I like them all, though in different ways, and for different reasons.

-Uffish Thought
Question #36635 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do children have a lower tolerance for pain? It seems like they have a high tolerance because they fall down a lot and don't cry. But when I was a kid I was terrified of getting shots and now that I am an adult it doesn't bother me at all. What's the deal?

- Duane Reade

A: Dear Mr. Reade,

I don't know about the pain tolerance of children, but I wanted to comment on your last sentence. Being afraid of getting a shot doesn't mean you have a low tolerance of pain; it just means you have something in your head that's convincing you that it's going to hurt, and that, therefore, makes you tense up and sometimes it hurts more. As an adult, you've obviously gotten past this mental block and can relax enough so that the needle prick doesn't hurt anymore.

A: Dear Duane,

I found a number of sources that suggest that yes, children do have a lower tolerance for pain. (And younger children more so than older children.) However, I think that there's also an issue of control involved. When you or I go in for a shot, we know about it ahead of time, we're in control of the situation, and we can rely on our rational mind to help us realize that it won't be as bad as we think. For kids, things like shots are unexpected and unexplained, which make them more scary and painful.

As far as falling down and not getting hurt goes, bear in mind that little kids are already pretty close to the ground to begin with, and they tend to have a lot more padding than adults.

- Katya
Question #36629 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the proper term for calling a random person and saying random things? Is it a prank call or a crank call?

- honey nut toasted coco berry crunch

A: Dear hntcbc,

Google returns more raw hits for "prank" than "crank," by a margin of about 11:1. Oddly enough, Google Book Search favors "crank" to "prank," 2:1. "Crank call" on Wikipedia redirects to "prank call," as the preferred term. The OED doesn't include either phrase, so I can't get a good sense of usage dates for either.

My analysis is that "prank call" is more commonly used (casually, at least) but "crank call" may be the older variant.

- Katya
Question #36625 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have 10 month old daughter who loves to eat my keys. A woman in the grocery store told me that they have lead in them. Is this true? Should I ban keys from the babe?


A: Dear Momma,

I honestly don't know what is in your keys-but I can assure that they are probably not the cleanest thing to be letting your baby suck on.

A: Dear A Momma,

Yes, many keys do have lead. Here's what a press release from the Attorney General of California says:
"We believe the public should know that handling keys — ordinary brass keys like you'll find in your pocket or pocketbook to lock and unlock your house door — may expose you to the toxic chemical lead at levels that exceed Proposition 65 limits," Lockyer said. "Given this discovery of lead exposure, parents may want to rethink using their jangling keys as a convenient toy for their toddlers and small children."

Keys generally are made of brass containing 2 % lead which makes them easier to cut. Some keys, including many car keys, are steel and contain only trace amounts of lead. Chrome-plated keys also produce lower exposure to lead.

"No one really knows how much of the lead from keys is being ingested, but we do know that consumers are being exposed to lead, some of which may get into the body through hand-to-mouth contact," Lockyer said. "This exposure is sufficient to trigger the Proposition 65 requirement that consumers be warned or have the company prove that the exposure is safe."
Here's one possible solution: steel keys, which he mentioned are often used as car keys, sound pretty safe. You can go to a locksmith and ask for their mis-cut keys; they'll usually give them to you for free (or at least very cheap). I'm betting that if you ask for steel keys, he'll be able to give you just those ones. That way your daughter will also have her own keys, so she can't lose yours, and they won't be as dirty as keys you use all the time.

My parents also let us play with keys. (Incidentally, my mom ended up going to the locksmith to get some "play keys" as a direct result of my losing her keys for her when I was a baby. :) I wouldn't worry too much about the fact that your daughter has been playing with your keys up until now. My parents did that with all of us, and we turned out fine. (I promise.) But it might not hurt to try to get some lead-free keys.

Good luck parenting!

—Laser Jock
Question #36624 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

dear one hundred hour board,

yesterday i stumbled across a book that amused and intrigued me very much. it had a different "secret to happiness" for every day of the month, listing a total of thirty-one secrets. if you were to write such a book, what secrets to happiness would you include?


A: Dear lanada

I'm not going to go with a generic thirty-one day period for secrets to being happy. No, no, I am giving a specific guide to being happy this July 2007, day-by-day.

-July 1 Wake up and welcome the happiest month of your life. Breathe in that new-month smell. What's the secret to being happy today? Brushing your teeth with the off-hand (if you're right-handed use the left hand, if you're left-handed use your right). Why will this make you happy? You'll quickly appreciate that you are capable of using your dominant-hand. And it will make you happy (this is coming from someone who had their dominant-hand in a sling for the last year).

-July 2 This morning you should stop and ponder, for at least two and a half minutes, how cool squirrels are. Now imagine a small squirrel performing a leaping, twisting backflip of wonder, much like I recently saw a squirrel perform on its way out of a dumpster, and you will have to smile.

-July 3 What can make a person happy on the third day of July? The realization nigh imminent are: a Transformers movie, a Harry Potter movie, the last Harry Potter book, and that for lunch this day you will be enjoying a fluffernutter sandwich (that's the real key to happiness for today)

-July 4 Celebrate our nations freedom and independence by seeing gigantic robots from another planet beat each other up when Transformers is released, and have a barbecue and watch some fireworks as well.

-July 5 Midnight croquet. You'll have to prepare for this on the Fourth, obviously, but a midnight of croquet inevitably sets the tone for a freakishly happy day. And, you can have a sparkler display to celebrate your victory.

-July 6 With the crowds that will still be flocking to theaters to see Transformers today is your chance to enjoy one of the earlier summer offerings in a less-crowded theater. Take your pick from Spider-Man 3, Shrek 3, or Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. There's a magic in a movie theater that isn't copied in home viewings, so enjoy this opportunity for a happy day.

-July 7 This is probably going to be a hot day, I recommend going swimming to have a happy day. But put on sun screen, or it's going to be hard to be happy on the 8th.

-July 8 Whatever your favorite meal is, make it. If it's something your mom knows how to make, call her up for the recipe. If it's something you had at a restaurant, try and imitate it. Have some fun in the kitchen (and no, boiling water for ramen does not count, go to the store and buy some ingredients. Cooking is a blast if you put some effort into it).

-July 9 Go on Facebook. Find some old friend you haven't talked to in at least one year. Read up about them in their quaint profile page. Hope they don't reject your friend request.

-July 10 We all have some tv show or film that we adore, but that our friends have never seen. Today you share the happiness. Get a group of friends together and introduce them to The Hudsucker Proxy or The West Wing or M or What's Up, Doc? or Arrested Development or Firefly. Even if you're friends do not share your level of reveling in the film/tv show, you'll enjoy the viewing of it.

-July 11 See Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (this is the movie adaptation of the book series I've most been looking forward to, as it's the one book I think might make a better film than novel (and yes I just compared and apple to an orange, no need to tar and feather me for having an opinion)).

-July 12 Find a favorite book from your childhood at the library (maybe something from the Great Brain series perhaps, or something from Beverly Cleary) and read it. It won't take very long to read the book, but it will be rewarding.

-July 13 Find a task around the house or apartment you've been meaning to get to (and that can be done in one day) and do it. If you're a man this might be washing enough dishes to see the bottom of the sink (or at least having enough clean dishes to go one day without having to wash something to be able to eat a meal). That sense of accomplishment once it's done: happiness.

-July 14 Do your home or visiting teaching before the last Sunday of the month. It'll be a rare and pleasing experience.

-July 15 Take a moment, and allow your mind to drift back to the Hallowed Memories Hall you maintain in the corridors of your mind (if your brain is organized like mine it'll be next to the Pretty Spiffy and Nifty Memories Lounge). As you enter the Hallowed Memories Hall, begin the replay of that savored memory: The Answered Prayer. The last play against the University of Utah in the 2006 season, when, with three seconds on the clock, Beck scrambled for time and found Harline in the endzone for one of the greatest victories (and comeback drives) in Cougar history. The memory of the euphoria of that moment is guaranteed to make you happy for, at the very least, 24 hours. And while you're in there you might see other great plays, such as the 2001 victory over Utah, or the Miracle Bowl. And, also, take a moment to realize that you're halfway through one of the happiest months of your life.

-July 16 Gather some friends, go to a park, have a picnic and play ultimate frisbee. There should be a professional televised Ultimate league...

-July 17 As you go to bed think very hard about your favorite movie. With any luck you'll dream that you're a part of that world (I know my sister will be dreaming of a pirate ship crewed entirely by Captain Jack Sparrow (or Johnny Depp, she's not picky).

-July 18 Go outside, stick your tongue out, and do a pirouette (I did this once in high school with a friend who'd had a bad day, it improved our happiness level exponentially).

-July 19 Remember back to the awkward days of Junior High. Realize you're not there anymore.

-July 20 Go to a bookstore, wait in line with other bibliophiles, and wait for the glorious midnight release of the last Harry Potter novel, and discuss in-depth theories about how it will end with complete and utter strangers (that advice about not talking to strangers...null and void, one night only).

-July 21 No secret here. Read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

-July 22 No secret here. Discuss Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows with informed individuals.

-July 23 Buy some chocolate for a friend who isn't as happy as they could be (maybe they haven't read Harry Potter yet).

-July 24 Think about something that always makes you laugh, no matter how many times it crosses your mind (a recent exchange that makes me smile every time I think about it no matter what I'm doing: (the lights are just turned off on the way our of the room, making it pitch black) the future Mrs. Master: "Whoa, I can't see a thing." (<I>THUD) Humble Master: "Did you see me walk into the door?")

-July 25 Go to an ice cream store. Ask for a free sample of every flavor. Mmmmm....so tasty. Leave a tip on the way out.

-July 26 Go to a toy store. Find the coolest toy. Buy it. (I don't mean to imply that you can buy happiness...but we do live in a very capitalistic society)

-July 27 Be Humble Master so you can get married to the woman of your dreams...or crash Humble Master's reception if you can't pull off being Humble Master (which would be a shame, that's going to be a happy day).

-July 28 Schedule a water balloon fight. Have the scheduled water balloon fight.

-July 29 Perform a random act of service. Nothing big, but something that'll give you a warm fuzzy (and not a cold prickly).

-July 30 Watch your favorite movie of all time. If you're one of those people that maintains an alternating list of five films that are vying for consideration for "All-time Favorite" choose the one that you haven't seen for the longest amount of time and watch it.

-July 31 Take a moment to think back on the happiest month of your life. Sigh...and realize it's all downhill from here.

-Humble Master
Question #36620 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I currently cannot use my left arm due to a frolicsome accident. While the accident has helped me get sympathy, ice cream, and good food, it has rendered me helpless for putting a pony tail in my hair. I know that if anyone could tell me how to put a pony tail in my hair with one hand, it would be you, O writers of the board. What solutions do you have?

--Capture the Flag victim

A: Dear Vickie,

As soon as I saw this question, my roommate and I sprang into action. We figured out something that works, but it would take a lot of practice and our results weren't exactly pretty.

The only real problem lies in getting the rubberband off of the wrist and into the hair. To fix this, we stored the band not on our wrists but on our fingers, holding the band in an open loop containing all of the fingers except the index, which should be hovering outside. It's helpful if you can keep the band above the middle knuckle of the middle finger. So your hand is in a claw position with the rubberband poised in place and the index finger on the loose. Using this claw (mostly the thumb and the middle finger), we scraped our hair against the respective napes of our necks and got it in a solid grip. The index finger now has its moment of glory in bending back and scooting the rubberband off of the fingers and onto the ponytail. Manipulation of the hair through the band is fairly self-explanatory. A double-over of the rubberband is needed at this point, and we found that though tricky, it is possible, if you start off with a tight twist.

We didn't spend a great deal of time perfecting the technique, but I could see it really working for you with practice. If you advance enough, you could probably even move the ponytail up off the nape to a more normal ponytail location.

Or, you know, you could get an alligator clip or ask somebody else to do it for you.

A: My dear,

Or you could just cut your hair so short that it won't go in a ponytail. That's what I did, last summer...worked great for me!

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear flag got pwned,

I know nothing about this, having never had long hair, but you might want to check out the advice on this page.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #36619 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I thought I could help out with Board Question #36502.

I hopped freight trains with three friends to New Orleans and back in January and was caught four times; once by the BNSF police (Bulls), who just gave my friends and I a verbal warning and told us to get off; once by rail workers in a train yard, who kicked us out and told us to "go stick your little thumbs out on the highway"; and the two other times engineers caught us, the first told us to keep our heads ducked lower, and the second said we had to go ride on the grainers. (Which was fine because it was a beautiful 85 degree day!)

A good friend of mine spent one night in jail because he was hopping on top of the cars while the train was moving. The bulls told him as they were arresting him, "You can ride, just not on the tops."

Also, to clairify the Wikipedia entry, the railroad police are technically federal police because the railroads are partially owned by the government, so if you they are having a very bad day, and decide a warning isn't enough for you, then you could be spending time in Federal Prison with a federal offence on your record. But on the upside, bulls only are in major metropolition areas.

Also, in your hypothetical question, you make the very bad decision of jumping on a flatbed. Those are hard to get off of if the train is moving because you have to go from sitting to running instanieously with a twist of your waist in there too, so you're going to fall on your face.

- Bleser Kerouac

ps. We could be hobos, forever and ever. (Nice twist of David Bowie lyrics!)

Editor's Note: The Board does not condone illegal activities. Any train-hopping done by readers is at their own risk. Just so you know. We're not interested in getting blamed for anything.

Question #36617 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Okay, I'll try this again. I have a question about the upcoming movie "September Dawn" and how it depicts Brigham Young's role in the Mountain Meadows massacre. This is a seperate question from Board Question #23775, which talks about a documentary made quite some time ago and Board Question #36272 which is about the actual Brigham Young, rather than a portrayal of Brigham Young in a 2007 film.

Some articles I have read say that the movie is benign, and that those involved in the attack are "already being billed as a group of renegade Mormons who were apart from the church and went against Brigham Young's advice."

However, other news articles I have read said that the movie will show that Brigham Young "shared direct responsibility for the attack" and that "the iconic Brigham Young had complicity in the massacre."

Which one of these two is correct? Does the movie September Dawn depict the Mountain Meadows Massacre happening because of Brigham Young's orders or despite them?

- Brad

A: Dear Brad

Sorry our last response wasn't what you were looking for. I've only found one advance review, and it makes it seem as though the film shows that Brigham Young was responsible for the massacre. To quote the review:
Christopher Cain's portrait of the Utah region's Mormons as insane-in-the-membrane zealots, as well as its depiction of their successful plot to kill (with the help of local Native Americans) 120 immigrants passing through to California, is reportedly based on the official 27-page confession of convicted Mormon John D. Lee. Yet the clunky, heavily skewed means by which this tale is presented is nothing short of egregious, with its Mormon characters demonized with such laughable gusto, and its Christian victims cast in such a holy, noble light, that the project quickly feels less like an attempt at historical truth-telling than like shameless anti-Mormon propaganda. Mastermind and holy prophet Brigham Young (Terence Stamp) spews bloodthirsty Joseph Young-inspired fire and brimstone, Bishop Jacob Samuelson (Jon Voight) rails on about how the visitors are abominations (one of the women wears a gun!) who are intent on driving the Mormons from their lands, and Samuelson's son Micah (Taylor Handley) drools like a wild animal as he partakes in the carnage while disguised in Native American garb. This cartoonish demonization persistently seems tied to a religious-political agenda, as well as comes off as an easy way to provide bad guys for the hokey Romeo and Juliet romance between Samuelson's older boy Jonathan (Trent Ford) and gentile Emily (Tamara Hope), a courtship that amounts to one my-religion-vs.-your-religion conversation and a hilarious come-hither look from a river-bathing Emily to her sweet Mormon hunk.
Doesn't sound like Mormons come out looking too good in this film (incidentally that review came from slantmagazine.com which is a popular movie/music review site, and is in no way, shape, nor form associated with the LDS Church(as evidenced by the fact they refer to a "Joseph Young" rather than Joseph Smith)).

-Humble Master
Question #36616 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why is it that some people's ears can bend over and for others it's painful and awkward to bend them forward or wiggle them much at all?

- Beaker

A: My dear,

Some people are wimps.

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear Beaker,

Poor genetic material?

Actually, that's pretty much the case. The outer ear is made almost entirely of cartilage, and some people simply have stiffer cartilage than others. Stiffer cartilage = more resistance = more stress = more pain.


Question #36612 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why does ice cream seem to taste so much better when converted to a milkshake? I can never seem to dish out a mug of ice cream without succumbing to the temptation to add a little milk and mix it up. It's so good!

- Back home in the Land of Blue Bell

A: Dear Back to the Blue Bells,

I know what you mean! And if you happen to have a candy bar or something then you can throw it all into a blender and make something SO good! Yummm.... I like it because it is smoother and creamier than simply ice-cream. It feels better in my mouth and sliding down my throat. Also, I think that milkshakes probably aren't as cold which means that they probably taste better because you can taste them more. That's just my theory though...

A: Dear Back Home

I concur. In my case I believe I prefer shakes because the consistency of straight ice cream is not my preferred state for that tasty treat, thus a shake is superior. In fact, even when I'm having straight ice cream I always heat it up a bit in the microwave to soften it up (and also because ice cream is really cold, it hurts the teeth a bit). And recently I was introduced to a Root Beer Freeze, instead of a float, in which the ice cream and root beer are mixed up in a blender, rather than poured together in a cup. Mmmmm....

-Humble Master
A: Dear,

I find the wetter, or (forgive the word,) moister a dessert is, the more I tend to like it. Brownies over cupcakes or cookies, pie over cake, milkshake over ice cream. Maybe it's because I don't drink enough anyway, so I'm usually fairly dehydrated. But man, it sure tastes better, doesn't it? Mmm.

-Uffish Thought
Question #36606 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Recently, my friends and I were having a discussion about when stubble becomes a beard. What do you think?

- sunshine

A: Dear sunshine,

Based completely on 100% my opinion: stubble becomes a beard (or the beginnings of one) when it is no longer prickly. Stubble is prickly.

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear,

How about when you can see more hair than skin on the chin?

My dad has a beard, but it's a big thing--you really can't see any skin underneath, and it's maybe a half to a quarter inch poofy, and pretty thick. When I see guys with college-type beards, I have trouble thinking of it as anything but advanced stubble, especially when they trim their "beards" so short. But I'm beginning to accept that my father's style beard isn't the only option for beards. And thus I'll accept more hair than skin visible as a beard. Past the scratchy stage doesn't quite cut it for me, since some people are so sparse or patchy that it can't be a full and even beard. So there.

-songs of inexperience
Question #36605 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So I watched Delta Farce the other day. Let's just say it wasn't the greatest. However, I noticed some striking similarities between that and The Three Amigos. None of my movie-going companions had ever SEEN the Three Amigos (those poor, lost souls!), so the similarities were lost on them.
My question(s): have you seen Delta Farce, and did you notice the similarities?
Was the movie actually based on The Three Amigos, or at least taken from the same general idea?

- The Delta Three Farce Amigos

A: Dear Î"3,

I have not subjected myself to Delta Farce (although I approved of the Chuck Norris reference), but you're not the only one to notice the similarities to the Three Amigos:
  • "A Three Amigos with fewer laughs" [source]
  • "Using an old Western theme borrowed from 'The Magnificent Seven' and 'Three Amigos'..." [source]
  • "...a strenuously unfunny Three Amigos knockoff..." [source]
  • "The rest of the story more or less plays out like a red neck version of The Three Amigos...it's just not funny." [source]
So the consensus seems to be that (1) it is a rip-off of Three Amigos and (2) it's a stupid movie. As for whether it was actually based on Three Amigos, nobody but the writers knows for sure, but since this is the writers' (Bear Aderhold and Tom Sullivan) first movie, I'm going to have to guess that it had to have influenced them at least a lot.

-=Optimus Prime=-
A: Dear DTFA,

I also have not seen Delta Farce, but based on Prime's response it seems that it, like Three Amigos, The Magnificent Seven, A Bug's Life and countless other movies was cribbing from Akira Kurosawa's masterpiece, Seven Samurai, which if you haven't seen, I highly recommend. A bit more serious than Three Amigos though.

Keep the Faith.

-St. Jerome
Question #36603 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, men's shirts have buttons on the right side and women's shirts have buttons on the left. Why are the buttons reversed? Is it just so we can really tell the difference between a guy's and a girl's shirt, or...what?

- Confused shirt wearer

A: My dear,

A man's shirt is designed so that it's easier for the person wearing it to button it up. Women's buttons are situated so that it's easier for someone else to button them, because women used to be dressed by other people. That's what I was told, anyway...

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear Shirt-wearing Confused Person,

The Defenestrator's right. Way back when, women in high society used to have servants dress them, and as most people are right-handed, it was easier to dress a woman if her clothing buttons were on the right side.

Guys, I guess, have always had to fend for themselves. ;-)

A: Dear Confused shirt wearer,

There is another reason why men's buttons are on the other side, also historical. Men traditionally wear weapons on the left, so as be able to draw them with their right hand. When they began to wear coats with their weapons, the buttons were placed on the right so that the man could unbutton with his left-hand and draw with his right hand. It is actually very easy to do. Left-handers are out of luck, as usual, but that is how life goes.

Keep the Faith.

-St. Jerome
Question #36602 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

On the south west corner of Palisade Dr. and Center Street in Orem there is a white, oddly-shaped building. It doesn't look like anyone lives there. What is that building?

- This is Why This is Why

A: Dear This is Why This is Why,

Actually, the oddly-shaped white building is on the north-west corner of the intersection. The south-west corner has a regular-shaped brown house, I believe. And, in a show of true omniscience, Lavish and I answered this question before you even asked it. See Board Question #33372.

You should be exceedingly impressed right now.

Question #36601 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear more musically-minded/'cultured' persons:
I'm an engineering major with all the proclivities that such a major implies. As part of my girlfriends quest to 'culturize' me (have yet to step foot in the MOA-3 years running ;)), last semester we attended the BYU Philharmonic Symphony/Orchestra's performance of Edward Elgar's Enigma Variations. Hopefully you've heard of these pieces, or at least familiar with the back story to them. The supposed enigma is the counter melody or basis for the variations. My question is not so much based on the pieces themselves, but more about music in general. Seeing as you have 15 samples of music, I have a hard time seeing how you cannot make an appropriate guess based on the contemporary music of the time. I've been told music has inherent rules/themes that all 'good' music follows. In addition to theory rules and logical assumptions, computers could reasonably be used to find a correlation/relationship between the variations and the 'mother'(?) piece.

I don't have an extensive knowledge of music, nor it's rules, but it seems to me that this is a problem that could be possibly be solved by locking several british music historians, an Elgar scholar, several theoreticians(?? - music theory people), some mathematicians and some computer nerds in a small room with a moderately powerful computer. Is it-or am I giving too much credit to science?

--wondering non-luddite

(or is everyone just in love with the mystery and intrigue of an unknown variation that no one wants to know, kinda like santa when you're 4 or 5 and think something might be fishy--but not sure you want to find out...)

A: Dear computer user,

I have heard of the Enigma variations. I even played in a band arrangement of them (not something I recommend).

I'm trying to find your exact question so I can be sure to answer it or at least try to answer it. Are you asking if any classical piece's time period could be determined with a computer program, or if a variation on a theme could be identified through technology? I'll try a hand at both, and if I do a poor job just write in again.

The style of a piece could be determined with a computer program, I believe. Some software has been developed attempting to analyze music with computers (see here and here for some examples). I can think of some fairly simple examples in music that a computer could be programmed to recognize. For example, in hymn writing, there is a "rule" that there should not be parallel fifths or octaves (however, this rule is sometimes violated, even in Bach's case). If a piece had no parallel fifths or octaves, it could be a branch on a decision tree which says "might be baroque or classical, or neo-classical." Usually someone familiar with different genres of classical music can estimate its style without computer assistance. The more tricky examples are when modern music imitates classical music. However, there are differences there too. Neo-classical music usually has more dissonance and uses the conveniences of modern instruments. For example, in Prokofiev's "Classical" symphony, he has the flutes play rapidly in the upper range of the third octave, something that would have been impossible on classical (pre-Boehm) flutes.

Now, if you're asking if a variation could be traced back to its theme using computers, that is a more complicated question. A theme can vary in a number of different ways. Melodies can vary in rhythm, key, complexity (few notes vs. many), and timbre. Sometimes a variation of a theme will just include its accompaniment (usually the bass line), which could be the same for many different melodies. In the case of the Enigma Variations, there is some speculation that the theme is a counterpoint to a more famous melody. To any given theme there are multiple counterpoints, and to any counterpoints there are multiple melodies it could be counter to. A computer could probably find some way to fit any melody into a string of notes by using slight variations... but it seems like with enough rules a computer could spit out something meaningful.

Question #36600 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dearest 100 Hour Board,

I come to you with a broken heart and contrite spirit. Please Help!
You see... my high school sweetheart is getting married in a couple weeks. Which is fine, as we had a mutual break-up before his mission, and stayed good friends during his entire mission. The problem arrived when he got back, and started dating someone within the first few weeks, and told me that he and I could never speak again. Needless to say, I was not invited to the wedding. So, although I am very happy for him, I have been slightly heartbroken over this loss of such a dear friend. But, I have come to deal with the fact that it is his life and there is nothing I can do to repair this friendship, or bring back the past. So, on to my question... I was wondering what I can do on the day of the wedding to distract myself. I asked some friends at work and they all suggested I go get drunk, and then crash the wedding. Since that isn't really an option, I was wondering what good activities you guys might suggest for me to keep myself occupied on this otherwise emotional day. And I want absolutely no free time to sit and wallow- so I need something for morning, noon and night! (oh, and I'm not in utah- so nothing utah specific, I guess) Thank you, thank you! I LOOOOOVE you guys!


A: Dear Soupy,

I would suggest that you go to an amusement or water park. Those are exceptionally entertaining, will keep you entertained for almost all day, and take friends with you. You can make some amazing memories doing stuff like that.

I'm so sorry that you and your high school sweetheart are no longer able to be friends. That's really hard and it just downright sucks. Aren't guys silly? Thinking they can't be friends with someone just because you two broke up? One day I'm sure he'll feel stupid for letting your friendship go to waste.

A: Dear waterworks,

In addition to just going out and having fun with friends (which I highly recommend), there's only one way I can think of to keep your mind off of something like, and that's to immerse yourself into an artificial reality, either through a book or a movie. By projecting yourself into its reality, hopefully you can forget about your own for a while. I recommend going to the library or Blockbuster or something and renting enough books and movies to last you the entire day -- ones that are really engrossing, like action films or spy novels. You'll probably want to avoid chick flicks and romance novels for obvious reasons. Good luck.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #36598 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What does the E. in Chuck E. Cheese's stand for?


- Fredjikrang

A: Dear Fred

Initially all sorts of possibilities floated through my head: E. coli, Excess energy, Entrails, Eats, Etc.

But the answer is really Entertainment (and once upon a time Chuck was a rat, not a mouse).

-Humble Master
Question #36596 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How do I get pictures from my phone onto my computer, especially if texting etc has been blocked? I have an LG VX8300 if that helps.

- Photographer in Training

A: Dear pit,

I assume you have Verizon, since that's the only carrier in the States that uses the LG VX8300. I also ran into this problem with my new Razr. 25 stinkin' cents for a pix message...

Anyway, you'll want to check out this guy's blog about your phone. I recommend using the microSD card method. They're pretty cheap and so is a reader, if you need one.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #36593 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why does it sometimes seem like there's water on the road (especially during the hot summer months), when there isn't? It really looks like water, even reflects the images of the cars on the road like water, yet it disappears when you get closer to it. What is up with that?

- Mr. Thirsty Driver

A: Dear Mr. Thirsty Driver,
  • You're one of only two people to ever experience this unexplained phenomenon, the other being Oscar Wilde during a stroll in 1883.
  • When the sun warms the road to unusually high temperatures, the air just above the road heats up, giving it a lower refractive index than the denser, cooler air above. Light from the scenery at a shallow angle to the road is refracted by this gradient toward motorists, whose lines of sight are at complementary angles. Our brains mistake these to be reflections of cars or of the sky above, a sight most commonly found in pools of water. The phenomenon is called a mirage, specifically an inferior mirage because the image seen is underneath the real object.
  • Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

-Two Lies & a Truth
Question #36592 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

As I was returning from my annual Memorial Day trip to Idaho a question that I've thought about for years came up in my mind again. What is proper road kill etiquette? By this I mean what should I do when I hit an animal, and how does this change if I were to hit a pet as opposed to a wild fox or dear? Would the owner of the pet be responsible for the damages caused to the vehicle (I know that kind of sounds selfish). Thanks in advance.

- First Trombone

A: Dear Frederick,

If you hit a pet, please, please, for the love of all you hold dear, take the animal to an animal hospital if it is only injured (and try to contact the owners ASAP). If the animal is killed by your car, please be sensitive and try to locate the owners and let them know. There's not much worse than finding your pet as roadkill on your way to work in the morning.

-Kicks and Giggles, who loves her dogs (deceased and living) more than many other things in her life
A: Dear First Trombone,

It would be nice if you could contact the owners of the pet that you hit. However, most of the time the animal will not be wearing anything that indicates who it belongs to. If the animal is injured then it is best to take it to an animal hospital. However, if the animal is dead then there really isn't much you can do now is there?

Also, I do not think that the owner of the pet should be responsible for damages. If anything they could probably counter that by saying that you should have been driving more defensively and you owe them money. You already hit their pet...isn't that enough? Just pay for it already.

A: Dear Trombone Adam,

So I started poking around on the internet and this is kind of an interesting topic. First, about etiquette. The proper thing to do is stop and depending on the situation, call the police and/or insurance agency, or knock on the door of the nearby house, so someone can get the animal out of the road.

As the driver, you should be covered under Comprehensive coverage for any accident with an animal, wild or not. This page even says your Comprehensive coverage will cover cleaning blood off your car's interior if you take the animal to a vet.

Whether the owner is responsible for the damage is a highly debated topic. The general consensus (at least for dogs) seems to be that since most places have leash laws, it is the pet owner's fault. Luckily, you shouldn't have to worry about it, because it will be up to your insurance company to get the money from them, not you.

If you're interested, here are some links to online discussions about this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #36590 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'll be leaving on a mission soon. (Woohoo!)
Will my 100 Hour Board account be waiting for me when I return home? That would be nice.

- El Azteca de Plata

A: Dear Golden Aztec,

Your account will be in an inactive state, but still available. Under the current system, if you do not log in to your account for 90 days, it is labeled "expired" and held in a separate section of our management system. When you try to sign in, you will be directed to send an e-mail to us so that we can reactivate your account. Don't worry, though; it will still be there.

Good luck!

Question #36589 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Does Burnt Almond Fudge ice cream actually contain burnt almonds? It certainly doesn't have any fudge in it.

If (as I suspect) the almonds are of the unburned variety, is anything added to give them a "burnt" flavor? I can't tell by taste, but I love the stuff either way.


- Ababcdcdefefgg

P.S. I believe Snelgrove's may have come up with the flavor, if that helps.

A: Dear Ababcdcdefefgg,

I asked my favourite BYU Creamery employee about this one, since the Creamery makes a flavour called Roasted Almond Fudge, which I imagine is pretty much the same as Burnt Almond Fudge. He said, "No, the almonds are not burned and no burned flavor is added. They are not roasted either. Nor is there a roasted flavor added. We do, however, add maple flavoring to it. Maybe that does it."

There you have it. I bet I am your favourite writer now, am I not? And I bet you've always wanted to buy ice cream for your favourite writer, haven't you?


Question #36583 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

While reading the board today, Monday, 5-28-07, I saw a question asked by someone who signed it as "Becky," the first alias I registered. Now, I don't use this alias much anymore, but doesn't registering an alias prevent someone else from using it? I thought that registered aliases couldn't be used by other people, and now I'm confused.

- kore ga jinsei, formerly known as Becky

A: My dear,

A person can sign a question with anything werf desires. As a reader, I always signed with my registered reader name, but there's nothing that dictates that that must be so.

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear The Reader Formerly Known as Becky,

The Defenestrator is right. Your signature is not automatically inserted by the system; it's whatever you choose to put there. However, it does show up for the editors, so they have an easy way to verify your identity if there's some kind of a problem. (It's not the only way, of course.)

If an alias is unique/well known, we've been known to clarify things a bit (for instance, when someone a while back signed a question as one of the writers). If it's either a common 'nym or a rarely used one, we probably won't notice. If someone does steal a 'nym you regularly use, let us know and we can add a comment to the post explaining it.

—Laser Jock
Question #36580 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is flirting? How do i do it? What if I'm doing it on accident? Help me

- For a friend of a friend

A: Dear friend,

Yay Tangerine:) Man, she hooked you up. She hooked you up so well I thought there was something wrong with her answer for a second because it was entirely blue.

I have just one thing to add. (She already answered your actual questions.) I have a couple of friends who laugh at me because of my flirting (which I'm sometimes ignorant of), but at the same time they say it works. Take into consideration the advice from all those links, but in that context I would just add that I think I tend to flirt the best when a) I'm happy, and b) I get genuinely excited about the things the other person is talking about. I tend to use touch a lot (I had one friend explain to me once that hitting was not one of his love languages, but I think it's one of mine ...), and that combined with just being a happy person and getting lost in what the other person is talking about (meaning, don't be thinking about your next comment - be thinking about what they're saying and maybe think about what more you want to know about it - ask good questions) are some of my keys (not that I'm an expert, I'm single, but take it for what it's worth:D).

As for not knowing if you're doing it, well. I'd ask your friends. They'll probably know and be honest if you ask:)

Good luck, these are dangerous waters ...

Question #36575 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I like orange juice, so I make it a lot. I use the frozen cans. I tend to go through a pitcher of orange juice pretty quickly. But, whenever I make more orange juice I just add the new orange juice to the old stuff (I usually make a new can of it when there is about an inch or two left of the old stuff, so I NEVER run out). Is this ok? I know orange juice ferments if it gets too old, so if I ALWAYS have some old orange juice left, and I just always add new orange juice, can the old stuff that was left over still ferment and make my whole pitcher of orange juice go bad? I hope this makes sense.



Well, I can tell you what happens in our family. We make a lot of juice from concentrate too, and if we don't wash out the pitcher every so often it starts to taste sour. I figure it's probably fermenting. It would probably be a good idea for you to wash yours at least every couple of times you go through a pitcher.

—Laser Jock
Question #36455 posted on 06/04/2007 3:40 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I've recently been reading the discussion about pornography on the board.

I understand the emotional component attached to the females' concern with their husbands looking at pornography and the heavy LDS encouragement of strict avoidance, but doesn't it seem a little too dramatic/obsessive to have this do-or-die attitude?

I just find it appalling that there's such enormous pressure in the LDS Church to deny a pretty fundamental Christian doctrine - that we are all sinners. I mean, not everyone "sins" in the same degree and I don't allude to excusing sin, but on the other hand how many of us can put our hands on our chests and say that not even a glimmer of indecency has ever crossed our minds?! Hats off to the .01% who can (if that).

I've heard of LDS marriages literally getting broken over pornography and I always think - if there was genuine concern for each other, would most people not be willing to "put up" with certain flaws of their partner, even if (perceivably in an LDS context) so gross? Does pornography really deal that much damage?

At the risk of sounding judgmental (if I haven't been enough already), I keep thinking - would Christ leave his wife (potentially) if she was like... looking at porn once in a while or something? (I hope this is does not sound too sacrilegious, it's not the point for it to do if it does) I personally think he'd be very caring and loving above all in the matter and really try to understand where she is coming from at least...

Admittedly, I've personally never been there so I don't really know what it's like, but I just find it astounding that something as deeply involved as a (temple) marriage can disappear because a spouse cannot give up looking at porn once in a while. Can a husband and wife really not get together and communicate about it? If they loved each other to begin with, shouldn't they be able to work it out somehow? Who can dishonor the genuine concern of a loving marriage partner and what love is there if they do?!

... Sorry if this is too long, but this is something that bothers me personally so I want to know what your thoughts are.

- (Almost) Anonymous

A: Dear Almost,

Sorry this has taken so long. Given the gravity of this kind of subject I have felt that it deserves a worthy answer and I am unwilling to give it less than 100%. In order to answer this question though we need to turn to the doctrine of the church. As we do I will examine each of your questions:

1) Doesn't it seem a little too dramatic/obsessive to have this do-or-die attitude (towards pornography)?
2) If there was genuine concern for each other, would most people not be willing to "put up" with certain flaws of their partner, even if (perceivably in an LDS context) so gross?
2b) Does pornography really deal that much damage?
3) Can a husband and wife really not get together and communicate about it?
4) If they loved each other to begin with, shouldn't they be able to work it out somehow?
5) Who can dishonor the genuine concern of a loving marriage partner and what love is there if they do?!

Doctrines on Pornography
(Note: all taken from the scriptures or the "Eternal Marriage" student manual under "Pornography" unless otherwise noted)

"Using pornographic material in any way is a violation of a commandment of God: "Thou shalt not . . . commit adultery . . . nor do anything like unto it" (D&C 59:6). It can lead to other serious sins. Members of the Church should avoid pornography in any form and should oppose its production, distribution, and use." - LDS.org (see also Matthew 5:27-28, D&C 42:23)

"You cannot afford in any degree to become involved with pornography, whatever its form" -President Gordon B. Hinckley

"The Lord knew that in the last days Satan would try to destroy the family unit. He knew that by court edict, pornography would be allowed to prosper." - President Ezra Taft Benson

"A diet of ... pornography dulls the senses and future exposures need to be rougher and more extreme. Soon the person is desensitized and unable to react in a sensitive, caring, responsible manner, especially to those in his own home and family." - Elder Marvin J Ashton

"A little pornography may not only lead to child and spouse abuse, but it slowly sucks out the marrow of self-esteem" - Elder Neal A Maxwell

"Again, I say, leave it alone. Turn if off, walk away from it, burn it, erase it, or destroy it" - Elder H Burke Peterson

"Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness" - Ephesians 4:19

"Behold, ye have done greater iniquities than the Lamanites ("hatred was fixed, and they were led by their evil nature that they became wild, and ferocious, and a blood-thirsty people; full of idolatry and filthiness" - Enos 1:20)... Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives, and lost the confidence of your children, because of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend up to God against you. And because of the strictness of the word of God, which cometh down against you , many hearts died, pieced with deep wounds. - Jacob 2:35

"[S]ee that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love" (Alma 38:12).

Question #1 for Judgment: "Give an accounting for your relationship with your spouse." - David O McKay.

Counsel on Mate Selection:

"I suggest that you not ignore many possible candidates who are still developing these attributes (deep love of the Lord and of His commandments, a determination to live them, one that is kindly understanding, forgiving of others and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home). You will likely not find that perfect person, and if you did, there would certainly be no interest in you. These attributes are best polished together as husband and wife" - Elder Scott (Conference, Ensign May 1999 pg 26)

Thoughts by C.S. Lewis:

"Or take it another way. You can get a large audience together for a strip-tease act---that is, to watch a girl undress on the stage. Now suppose you come to a country where you could fill a theatre by simply bringing a covered plate on to the stage and then slowly lifting the cover so as to let every one see, just before the lights went out, that it contained a mutton chop or a bit of bacon, would you not think that in that country something had had gone wrong with the appetite for food? And would not anyone who had grown up in a different world think there was something equally queer about the state of sex instinct among us? "

"I think ["the state of into which sexual instinct has now got"] is everything to be ashamed of. There is nothing to be ashamed of in enjoying your food: there would be everything to be ashamed of if half the world made food the main interest of their lives and spent their time looking at pictures of food and dribbling and smacking their lips."

"Before we can be cured we must want to be cured... we may, indeed, be sure that perfect chastity---like perfect charity---will not be attained by any merely human efforts. You must ask for God's help. Even when you have done so, it may seem to you for a long time that no help, or less help than you need, is being given. Never mind. After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again." - CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

Thoughts on your questions

Writing this answer has been very dark for me. It's a ugly topic and I don't enjoy talking about it. At the same time, it's important because things are about to get much, much worse.

Pornography. You see that it has the potential, like any other sin, to keep us from happiness. That is good. Yet, based on your questions, I don't think you understand the effects of pornography on a relationship. I also think you see pornography as a sin that we, in the church, have pulled aside and decided to whine about more than the others because it is so taboo and misunderstood.

Here are some of the things pornography does to a family (just based off my own personal experiences with those involved with/around pornography):

To the offender, over time pornography:
1) It embraces their passion and selfishness
2) It suffocates their ability to love others
4) It warps their perspective of life and their relationships with others
5) It eradicates their hope
6) It destroys their self-esteem
7) It consumes and paralyzes them
8) It eliminates their ability to be guided by the Spirit to help and serve their family members.. they can no longer administer priesthood ordinances or provide spiritual guidance to others.

To the offended, over time:
1) It cripples their ability to trust their spouse and feel loved by him/her
2) It destroys their sense of stability.
3) It makes them doubt their own personal worth

Stay away from it. Pornography is the biggest problem within the church. Don't assume you are safe. And, please, don't assume that is is "just as bad" as another sin. It is one of the most addictive, vile and painful sins that the world will ever know.

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear (Almost) Anonymous-

This is not something that should be shrugged off with a "boys will be boys" attitude; my wife mentioned to me that in a support meeting for significant others of those with sexual addiction, one of her associates mentioned "he says it has nothing to do with me, and sometimes I can believe it, but I don't think he realizes the effect this has on me." For them, it feels like their husbands are having affairs with those women. My wife knows that my addiction began before I even met her, but when I have stumbled--which has been thankfully rare--it has had an effect on her, and I know it should.

That said, it is true that pornography addiction should not be an automatic cause for divorce. However, if a man is knowingly compromising the most sacred part of a marriage, he shouldn't expect it to not be a big deal. Any husband or wife that neglects or betrays their sexual relationship through infidelity, refusal, inappropriate disclosure, or pornography use should not be surprised when it has a strong negative effect on the well-being of their marriage. This isn't something that should be occassionally allowed any more than kissing someone else should happen once every year or two.

When such sexual sins do occur, both the offending spouse and the offended are faced with a choice: repentance and forgiveness, accepting the sin as appropriate, or rejection. If the sinner cannot seek repentance and the offended spouse cannot forgive, their marriage cannot be healed. This is not easy, but must be done for the relationship to thrive once again.

-Learning about the atonement
A: My dear,

You said something else in your question that I'd really like to address.
I just find it appalling that there's such enormous pressure in the LDS Church to deny a pretty fundamental Christian doctrine - that we are all sinners.

This is in no way true. It sounds like maybe you are confused. We do not deny the fact that we are all sinners. In fact, this has been heavily emphasized as I've grown up in the Church. I've had many a Sunday School teacher ask, "So who in here is perfect?" making the point that none of us are (though it is almost obligatory for some smart-aleck in the class to raise werf's hand) (Okay, so it was usually me...). And one of my very amazing Institute teachers has asked every now and then, "So, who in here is a sinner? (Everyone should have their hand up, because—guess what! We all are!)." We very much believe that Jesus Christ is the only person ever to live a perfect life on this earth.

Just to reiterate: we all sin.

However, in the Church, we are taught to do our best to become perfect (Matthew 5:48). We know that with Christ's help, and through His atonement, we can repent and become more like Him, with the eventual goal of perfection.

Basically, this is not about never sinning. This is about ridding ourselves of sin, whatever kind it may be. Pornography is very serious, as Castle in the Sky has already discussed in depth, and must be treated as such.

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear,

Perhaps it is a bit dramatic, the do-or-die attitude. I would hope that most women, upon finding out that the guys they're dating or their husbands would not just say "that's it!" dust off their hands, and get out without pausing. I would hope there would be a lot of compassion and love and understanding.

At the same time, perhaps you're underestimating the effect it can have on both parties. Pornography isn't like leaving the toilet seat up--annoying, but something you can learn to deal with. It's an addiction, and it hits the woman especially hard, because it's in an area where she feels like she should be enough. Like she's failing somehow, or just not good enough, if he needs to look elsewhere to sate himself. Rationally, we know it's not true, but emotionally, I think it would be a blow each time. We also care deeply about you, and it would hurt to see how much it affects the people we love. And we love and worry about our children, or the environment they'll be born into. Pornography isn't taken very seriously in the world outside the LDS church, often, and I think the world at large underestimates the sway it holds over their appetites, their modes of thinking, their attitude towards women and children and love in general.

Pornography is no small deal.

I don't think there's anything wrong with making sure you're compatible with your spouse. I think it's wise to think through things. I don't know quite how to explain it. But I'll try anyway. I think if financial security is really important to you, that you become deeply unhappy and can't focus on and enjoy the rest of life if you don't know where your next meal is coming from, you're a fool to marry someone who's going to try and support a family by being a street musician, no matter how much you love each other. Unlike my ex-roommate, I don't feel there's only one person in the world you can truly love. And if there's something big between you, that will affect your quality of life in a negative way, I think you'd sure better factor that in and not look over it just because you're in love. Love is good, love is great, but it's not everything.

For me, I think I'd have a really, really hard time if the person I end up with is addicted to pornography. That doesn't mean I'll rule people out if they are. It just means that I'm going to be much more cautious. I deserve someone I can feel loved by, most of the time, a good chance for happiness, and that would be a serious impediment. And the guys I know who are struggling with this, they deserve someone who can be supportive and loving for years and decades of this struggle. If they married someone who just couldn't deal, I'd be a little mad at those girls for going ahead and marrying them anyway, because they felt it was a Christlike thing to do. I don't know that I could be very supportive, and think of him instead of myself in that situation. So I have to be very careful, and make sure that I don't get myself in too deep if it turns out that I'm really not strong enough to deal with that. I can put up with a lot, but there's no need for me to test the limits, especially when it's more than just my happiness at stake.

Your question about Christ, and I hope I'm not too far off the bat either, but this is my personal opinion. First off, He'd probably marry someone more compatible with him. Someone a lot closer to perfect. So I don't think that pornography would be a big issue. If it were, though, I think He'd be very loving and kind and compassionate, because He's perfect, and perfectly loving. But I think at the same time, He would do what's right. I don't know what that would be, especially in this hypothetical situation, but if it were the right thing to end it, that's what He'd do, and if it were the right thing to stay in and fight it out, then He'd do that. But since it's such a personal thing, and the circumstances can be so different, I don't think I have any right to make sweeping judgments.

To sum up, yes, I think it's a shame when things go sour and marriages are ruined. It happens so often, I wonder if we're trying hard enough, but having never been there myself, I don't know what it takes. I think if things are going to be a big deal to you, (and porn is often, often a big deal, no matter how widespread it is,) it's foolish to shrug them off lightly, thinking it's the Christlike thing to do. You have to take care of yourself, and the people around you, and a good understanding of how you function is key to doing that. I think, in fact, that it's unChristlike to enter into something you can't handle. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to him. If it crops up unexpectedly, I think you should make the best of the situation, and be as loving and supportive as possible, and as Christlike as you can be--I think it needs tons of sacrifice and love and patience that can stretch decades, understanding and communication and all kinds of virtues. If it's destroying you, maybe, just maybe, it's time to call it quits and walk away, but I really don't know, and I think it can be different for different couples.

It worries me too. But I can see why relationships break because of it. Pornography, as I've said, is no small thing. It needs to be taken seriously. That's why, though I won't make any snap judgments based on that addiction, I'm going to be very careful when I find out it's a factor. It shouldn't be overlooked, simply because I'm in love. But if it happens that I do have to deal with it, I'll put my whole soul into repairing the rift, and helping my husband regain control, and a healthy and untainted view of how the world should work, and what should and shouldn't be tolerable. I trust that in the end, things will work out well, not matter what circumstances arrive. But I don't know what route my life will take before I get there, and I'm unwilling to condemn any action unequivocally, because I don't have that kind of perfect judgment.

-songs of inexperience
A: Dear Almost Anonymous,

The prophets of the church are inspired men - they don't choose their messages because they've got their thumbs on the pulse of LDS culture and they know that Pornography is a hot topic right now. They're not spreading propaganda, telling us exaggerated, sensational news, trying to foster unwarranted fear. If they fulminate against pornography as often and as solemnly as they do, it should be extremely clear that this is not something to be taken lightly. God is trying so hard to warn us. Can you not hear it?

That being said, I expect to have a flawed husband and I hope he expects a flawed wife, but I sincerely pray that I have a marriage in which both parties take the prophets' warnings with utmost respect and ardency. If my husband has a problem with pornography and he treats it with such "once in a while" cavalierness, I think my marriage will be in trouble for more reasons than porn.


Question #36633 posted on 06/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What makes highlighters so bright?

- Much Obliged

A: Dear Mention It,

They paid attention in school.

And their ink is fluorescent. It will usually say this on the packaging, actually. Basically, the ink absorbs UV waves that your eye normally doesn't see and converts them to visible light in addition to the regular light that's reflected back, making it much brighter than any non-fluorescent material. Cool beans.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #36631 posted on 06/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why is it when you tie in Tic-Tac-Toe it's called a "Cat's Game" and not something else? Like most things are called draws or ties when you tie, why is this different?

- Bleser

A: Dear Bleser,

It turns out that no one really knows. However, for some guesses see Board Question #3679.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Bless,

Huh. I always just heard it said as a "cat," not necessarily a "cat's game." I always just thought it was called that because with an ornery cat, nobody wins, because ignoring it makes the cat bother you incessantly and trying to pet one is hazardous to your hands and arms. ;-)

Question #36626 posted on 06/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear dear friend,

Every night I wake up parched, and make/drink an entire pitcher of juice. I want to be able to sleep through the night... any suggestions?

- Sparkle and Leroy, who just kicked insomnia and is hating that it came back in sandpaper-throat form

A: Dear Sparkle,

Have you tried drinking a bottle or two of juice/water before bed?

A: Dear Sparkle and Leroy

A greater understanding of the tribes of elvish sleep trolls which make us sleep will help with so many of these questions.

I recommend sleeping with your mouth closed. You see, the elvish sleep trolls that make you sleep have a strange aspect of their societal rituals. When a young elvish sleep troll male comes of age, there is a rite of passage he must pass. The tribe seeks a dance floor with a "gaping hole which wind enters and exits" (the open mouth of a sleeping individual) and the young male is ritualistically garbed in the "Robes of Youth Ready to be a Man," which, unfortunately for you, are made of an extra-absorbent material. Then, to prove his mettle and fearlessness, the elvish sleep troll will throw himself into the noisy maw. The elvish sleep troll's goal is to stay down as long as possible before the hole closes and traps him. On rare occasions elvish sleep trolls are swallowed, thus leaving "a frog in the throat" of people in the morning, and giving them unusually raspy voices initially. But when the elvish sleep trolls escape, their absorbent robes take much of the sleeper's saliva with them, thus leaving you parched and dried out, and in need of a glass of water.

-Humble Master
Question #36610 posted on 06/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm planning on being a mother someday and also want to follow the prophet's council to get an education. I was wondering what majors would provide good job oppotunities should I have to work? I have been looking into Home and Family Living because the major classes are something I would enjoy but is that a pretty useless major? If I major in that what type of jobs can I do with it? Sorry that's actually 3 questions.


A: Dear Pickled,

This is actually a subject matter that I have given a lot of thought. I would honestly advise to you pursue whatever it is that interests you most. I advise this for two main reasons:

1. What if you don't get married? Then you could possibly be stuck with a major and/or job that doesn't interest you. Now wouldn't that be sad?
2. Even if you were to get a degree in something that interested you and then a job in that field was not conducive to having a family, you could still find a good job (a receptionist or whatever you think would be good) because you have a degree. For example: you don't necessarily have to get a job being a lawyer just because you went to law school.

However, if you still want suggestions for a specific line of work that would probably work well then I would recommend being a teacher. The world is constantly in need of them and when your kids are little you wouldn't have to work, but if you did want to get out then you could to substitute teaching.

I've also heard that something such as an ultrasound technician is a pretty good job. You make your own hours and schedule your own times. You can work as little or as much as you want.

Again I say: do something that you love, even if right now it doesn't seem like it will be the best job for a wife and mother. It will probably work out and you'll be more fulfilled.

A: Dear Picky,

I definitely agree with Krishna. Remember, the prophet's counsel for getting an education wasn't only given so you would be ready to support your family should the need arise: it was also given to encourage your own growth and progression. Do something you enjoy!

I majored in communications and I'm about to become a stay-at-home mom. When my kids are a little older, I'd still like to work, albeit from home. See, even though journalism is mainly regarded as a 9-5 (and more!) profession, you can do it from home and freelance. I'm sure you can find something to do from home, should you want to, with the major you choose.

I'm sorry that I don't know of the job possibilities for the major you specified, though.

A: Dear Pickled,

The BYU Counseling and Career center publishes a book called From Major to Career. You can find it on their website as a link on the right-hand side. This book lists possible career options for each major offered at BYU. The following are listed for Home and Family Life:
4-H Youth Development Agent
Administrative Assistant
Analyst (Social Science)
Association Executive
Building Manager
Chief Information Officer
Child Development Specialist
Child Psychologist
Consultant (Children's Education)
Cooperative Extension Agent
Correctional Officer
Counseling / Clinical Psychologist
Dean Dean (of Student Activities)
Dean (of Students)
Distance Learning Educator
Economic Development Coordinator
Educational Therapist
Employment Firm Worker
English as a Second Language Teacher
Fashion Designer
Foreign Service Officer
Fund-Raising Director (Charities)
Grant Writer
Guidance Counselor
Guidance Counselor (Career)
Guidance Counselor (Community College)
Human Resource Manager
Interior Designer
Juvenile Officer
Manager (Children's Services)
Manager (Health Program)
Manager (Production)
Manager (Recreation Facility)
Manager (Recreation)
Marriage and Family Counselor
Preschool Teacher
Psychiatric Technician
Public Relations Specialist
Public Relations Specialist (for Schools)
Rehabilitation Counselor
Residence Hall Director
School Social Worker
Social Worker
Social Worker (Child Welfare)
Social Worker (Crime victims)
Social Worker (Institutional)
Substance Abuse Counselor
Tour Operator
Volunteer Services Coordinator
Looks like you've got a few options. They do stipulate, however, that "Additional education/work experience may be required." I highly recommend you pay a visit to the college advisement center in 151 SWKT to talk to an adviser. They'll be able to discuss options with you on a much more detailed level.

Good luck!

Question #36609 posted on 06/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board-

What's the difference between Music 160R and 260R? How do I know which one to take?

- Slightly Confused

A: Dear Slightly,

260R and its 300 and 400-level counterparts are for music majors. If you're not a music major, take 160R (your private teacher can make your class easier or harder depending on your level of expertise).

Question #36607 posted on 06/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Will any of the writers help us move on Monday? I will make sure that there will be ample amounts of good food available for the kind-hearted writers.

- mubbajeanne

A: Dear Mubba,

I would be utterly useless. I'm 9 months pregnant and incredibly awkward; plus, I'm not supposed to lift anything remotely heavy. So I'm going to say I'd love to help, but no.

I'd be happy to come and take care of some of that food for you, though.

A: Dear mubbajeanne,

I'll gladly help you but I need more information. Email me! castle (dot) in (dot) the (dot) sky @ theboard.byu.edu. Soon!

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear mubbajeanne,

What time on Monday?

- Lavish
Question #36363 posted on 06/04/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Could you please tell me the number of active members of the Jehovah's Witnesses, in the years 1900, 1905, 1910, and so on up to the present day?


A: Dear Wait Until You See the Answer~

Steen did a good job on this one, and I took over the question from her, after which I accomplished virtually nothing. First her numbers, then I'll explain:

21,000 in 1917

115,000 in 1942

129,000 members in 1942

410,000 members in the United States alone by 1971

nearly 900,000 members in the United States alone,
with about 3.5 million members in 200 different countries

actively involved in 2006 6,741,444
So, there's steen's answer.

As for me, I went to the Kingdom Hall here in Provo, and they pointed me to their website, where they said I'd find a phone number for their headquarters, which phone number I was quite unable to find. I'm miffed about this.

I went back, and a fellow there told me that he would email me with those numbers. That was Monday, and I'm hoping that his answer may yet come.

Anyway, if you're wondering why your question took so long, it's because it was a rough question to answer from Utah. Sorry. You need to start a petition that the Board start funding writers' trips to, say, Brooklyn to enhance the quality of our research.

For the time being, however, here's a nice graphic from Wikipedia that should hold you over until I can get something better.

Man, I feel like such a failure.



Dear 100 Hour Board,

If (and hopefully it's a big if) Mitt Romney becomes president, do you think the secret service will let him go to the temple? I mean, they can't exactly go inside, and I'm sure they don't want their "charge" to spend a few hours alone with a bunch of potentially crazies!

- Barack Obama

A: Dear Barracks,

Having grown up in the DC area, I know it's not uncommon for the CIA, FBI, and the Secret Service to hire Mormons. In fact, proportionately they're over-represented because of their general integrity. So I see two options. Either he will have Mormon SS guys accompany him, or he will forgo temple attendance for four years. Really, the second option seems more likely, what with the unwanted media frenzy such a visit would cause. Heck, I wasn't able to go to the temple for 2 years, and I was a full-time missionary, so I think it would be ok.

-=Optimus Prime=-
A: Dear Barack Obama,

See also Board Question #36542.

- the librarian