"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #36749 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Just to add a note to Board Question #36625, my friend's little niece was playing with her mother's keys and fell with them in her mouth, managing to pierce the roof of her mouth completely through with one of the keys. So not only is it unsanitary and unhealthy to allow her to eat your keys, it can also be very bloody and involve a pricey visit to the emergency room.

- Angry Smurf

Question #36727 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear Daydreamer (Board Question #36638),

I have, as of late, found myself in a very similar situation. It stinks, and I offer you my sympathies in this time of massive confusion. Here's my two-cents. Just take it a day at a time. If you're really concerned, then you should announce to Friend that you are concerned and express their feelings. However, I wouldn't push it. This enters the real of the DTR and could very well scare your friend off and Destroy The Relationship rather then define it. It's possible your friend is just as confused as you are right now. I firmly believe that if you just go with it, things will work themselves out. It may take a while.

Also, you may consider getting a blessing or ten from a trusted source that you can talk to about all of this (Bishops are great for that). I have found this to be massively helpful.

- Miss Katria

Question #36669 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you writers get together and gossip about other writers and/or readers in your spare time, or do you actually have lives outside the Board?

Yours Truly,
Eponine

A: Dear 'Ponine,

Not only do we not have lives outside the Board, but we actually live inside it, much like Tron. You can find us if you search the archives hard enough.

-krebscout
A: Dear Eponine

The information I'm about to reveal may, quite literally, cause your head to explode (and/or implode (not necessarily in that order)). Read on at your own risk.

I've never met any other active Board writer. They're all complete strangers. Therefore, I've never gossiped with anyone of them about any other (well...in my head sometimes I have conversations...but that's probably revealing too much about myself). And, in spite of my own ineptitude, somehow, I manage to maintain a grueling academic and rewarding social life outside of the Board.

-Humble Master
A: Dear Eponine,

I love hearing all of the latest gossip about the other Board writers. Some of it is very juicy...

~Krishna
A: My dear,

The Board is my LIFE.

...laugh, but it's truer than you think...

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear,

Though I've got friends I've met through the Board, I no longer think of them in terms of it. Honestly, your good friend you met in the ward, or a class or whatever, you don't only think of them in connection to those organizations.

I'm also not a big fan of gossip. I'd like to know what's going on in my friends' lives, but I'd rather they're okay with me knowing it. So, though I'll occasionally hear that maybe this writer is dating that person, I don't really care much unless they're one of my good friends. And then I wonder why you're calling them a writer, instead of just a person.

So, no.

-Uffish Thought
Question #36668 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Could you provide scientific data to prove or disprove that all bad or misfortunate happenings in life pile on at the exact same time?

Yours Truly,
Eponine

A: Dear,

I can prove it. Once, when I was 9 years old, I had a really bad year. Last year, I had a couple bad experiences, as well. That's a good 12 or so years in between, and not everything bad at the same time.

But I can understand the sentiment. When something big and bad happens, it's much easier to notice all the others happening, too. Here's hoping life gets better for you.

-Uffish Thought
A: Dear Epo9,

No.

But if I could, then the corollary is that once all the bad and misfortunate happenings in life have occurred (which I assume they have for you), then it is no longer possible for any bad or misfortunate happening to happen later in life, already having been piled on. You may now look forward to a charmed life.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #36667 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So I just bought a nifty new gadget, and when I was telling my brother about it, I spit out the cliche "it was 100 bones". I don't think I've ever used that phrase before, but that's what I said! Anyway. Where did that come from? Were bones really used as currency? Sounds pretty gross.

- Currency Lover

A: Dear Currency Lover

This isn't a complete answer, but it is quite interesting. According to the OED the first recorded use of "bones" as slang for currency was in 1896 (and our generation thought we were so hip, new, and cool).

-Humble Master
A: Dear Currency Lover,

The OED doesn't list much information about the etymology of "bone," meaning "dollar." It may be connected to a phrase "to carry a bone," which refers to winning half the stake in a game called "bone-ace." The name of that game may be related to all the other meanings of "bone," or it may be related to the French "bon, bonne."

As far as anyone using bones for currency goes, there's an online role playing game called "Nitemare" which uses bones as money, but I haven't come across any real societies which do.

- Katya
Question #36662 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How does cable TV work? I mean, our apartment complex has 15 apartments, each with various TVs and connections, and as far as I can tell, we are supplied by only 2 cables from the utility pole. So, how does one cable connection provide my TV with 99 different channels? And how do 2 cables provide my entire complex with 99 channels each?

-Curious

A: Dear Cat,

Fun question: how do you get so many channels over the same wire, enough for your entire complex? Well, first let's start with something that's a little more intuitive: light. If you look through something that transmits light (say, glass), lots of different frequencies of light come through. Obviously you can see everything from red to violet. A fiber optic cable works the same way: it's basically glass, in a special form, that transmits light. So if you wanted to, you could send several different "pictures" over the cable: maybe one using red light, one using yellow light, and so on. Then at the other end you could use filters to separate out the different images. Well, in practice fiber optic cables use many, many more frequencies than that. They can transmit tremendous amounts of information all at the same time, down the same cable, by using many frequencies.

Now, it's a little harder to visualize, but you can do the same kind of thing with electricity. You can send an alternating current at different frequencies, and the copper cable can transmit many different frequencies at the same time, just like a fiber optic cable can transmit many different frequencies of light at the same time. That's how you can get 99 channels on one cable. The reason it doesn't take very many cables to supply an entire complex is that you aren't really drawing a lot of power from the cables; you really need just enough to get the signal. Then your TV amplifies the signal. So since each apartment will only draw a tiny current, it doesn't take a very big cable to supply all of them.

—Laser Jock
Question #36661 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why is it that some people have grey elbows? I tried to google this 'grey elbows' but nothing came up. Do you know what I am talking about? They are like grey instead of pink. Is it just because they are excessively dry or something? Mine are normal skin color, but it isn't like I regularly moisturize them. I don't really want them to ever be grey, if I can help it. Maybe it is just genes or something.

- Queen Lucy the Valiant

A: Dear Lucy the Valiant,

Every time I have ever seen "grey elbows" it has been because they are ashy and dry. If werf would put lotion on them then they would look much better.

I asked a science type person that I work with why dry elbows happen and she said that it comes from 2 things: first, not as much oil is produced on your skin in that area and second, because of the constant movement of your elbows. It causes friction and dries out your elbows.

Therefore I'm going to say that it could possibly be an inherited thing depending on if you naturally have dry or oily skin.

~Krishna
A: Dear,

I don't use lotion as much as I probably should, and my elbows are occasionally rough and a little lighter color than the rest of my skin. I suspect that if I don't start using lotion, I'll get gray elbows. I'm not a big fan of that idea, actually.

-Uffish Thought
Question #36660 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am a pregnant woman with a gluten sensitivity and lately I've been REALLY craving things with gluten in them. Pizza, crackers, bread all sound really good to me. It's like my body WANTS them.

When I've eaten that stuff in the past, I've gotten achy as if I had the flu, and I feel generally cruddy, however it has never been proved (medically) that I actually have a Celiac allergy. I just seem to feel sick when I eat gluten.

So I've wanted to try eating gluten again, but I'm worried about the baby. With Celiac disease the gluten actually damages the cilia in your intestines and, therefore, you don't get the nutrients from the food that you need and you become mal-nourished. So if I am not getting the nutrients, will my baby not get the nutrients? Or will I go doubly unnourished since the baby will take any trace amount of nutrients I get? Is intestinal cilia affected when you have a gluten sensitivity? Or is it just those that have a full-on Celiac disorder that have their intestines damaged?

And, as one last question, is it possible that my pregnant body could change the way it handled gluten in the past? I haven't had this sensitivity all my life. In fact, it was only when I came to college that I "triggered" it, I believe, by my diet. Can I "untrigger" it by eating it again and just letting my body adjust? Or is that a bad idea?

Thank you for your help. I'm really tired of not being able to eat what I'm craving.

- New Waiter

A: Dear,

I'm not sure, neither is anyone else. This is a good thing to ask your doctor about. I'd hate to take a guess and be wrong.

-Uffish Thought
Question #36657 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I went to the doctor the other day and they placed this little clamp-like thing on my fingertip to measure my oxygen level. First of all, I'm sure it's not called 'clamp-like thingy' (Surgeon: "NURSE! Hand me the little clamp-like thing!" Nurse: "Yes, Doctor!") so what is it? Secondly, how can it measure my oxygen level from my fingertip? It seems like they'd have me breathe into something to do that.

-Snore

A: Dear Snore,

Ah, you speak of a pulse oximeter, which is used to evaluate how well the lungs are providing oxygen to the blood during rest, exercise, or other activities a researcher may be interested in. If they were to use an instrument you breathed into, it would measure the amount of carbon dioxide (and other gasses) you exhale. This test is known as an oxygen saturation test. Oxygen concentration determines the color of the blood, which in turn determines the refraction of light that passes through the skin and your "clamp-like thingy" is employed to determine the blood's oxygen saturation. Well-oxygenated blood is bright red, while blood carrying less oxygen is darker. Normal concentration is between 95 and 100% (though resting can be at 90% for some people) and it is considered abnormal if oxygen saturation declines by more than 5% during exercise or sleep. Lung disease or other types of medical conditions can cause fewer of your red blood cells to be able to carry their usual load of oxygen, and your oxygen saturation might be lower than 95%. If you have more questions about the test take a look an article by Harvard Health Publications and Wikipedia has a decent article on the device.

- steen, lover of medical questions (that she's allowed to answer)
Question #36652 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How do you feel about men wearing sparkly lip gloss?

-I swear it didn't rub off-

A: Dear you shouldn't swear,

Oh baby, oh baby.

-Olympus
A: Dear what an odd question

I think lip gloss in general is a poor fashion choice, but it is a notably poor choice for a male (as is any lip gloss).

-Humble Master
A: Dear Rubbing it off,

It depends: are you wearing it because you like it or because you got it from your girlfriend's lips?

~Krishna
A: Dear You,

No.

- Lavish
A: Dear George,

Are they dressed in drag? Because then I'm okay with it.

-Kicks and Giggles
Question #36651 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Speaking in generalizations, it is clear that men less frequentely end up with women who are their equal height or taller. Of course there are exceptions, but generally speaking, it is less common. My question is, do you think that the reason for this is more on the women's side, i.e. they are less attracted to men who aren't tall and powerful and hence turn down invitations, or more on the men's side, i.e. they feel emmasculated when dating a woman who is taller than they, so they don't even bother asking? I read a study that the more money a male makes, the less likely he is to date a woman taller than he. So is it because women make exceptions to their "rule" because he is rich? Or is it just that his money gives him an extra boost of confidence to ask out a woman that a poor guy wouldn't have the guts to approach?

Got it where it counts..

A: Dear,

I can't say what side this is more on, being only one gender, myself. But I can tell you that usually, I'm only attracted to guys who are taller than me. I have, on more than one occasion, been very attracted to guys around my own height. I'm not going to rule out attraction to guys shorter than me. But I will say that at this point, it's very unusual.

For what it's worth, then, almost all of the guys I've found attractive so far have been my height or taller.

-songs of inexperience
A: Dear Got it,

I think it's a bit of both. I've known girls who generally wouldn't consider shorter guys and guys who generally wouldn't consider taller girls, so each would have been taking themselves independently out of the equation with respect to the other. (And yes, added self-confidence on the part of the guy, whatever the source, could make a difference in such situations.)

I haven't ever been attracted to a guy who was noticeably shorter than me, but I'm pretty short, so I can only think of a few guys who even meet that description. One of my biggest crushes in college was on a guy who could have been shorter than me, depending on the shoes I was wearing. He was very secure and self-confident, though, so he didn't suffer from the stereotypical Napoleon complex.

For what it's worth, it's actually possible for a guy to be too tall, at least from my perspective. I have many male friends who are tall or big and tall, but sometimes I feel like a child or a miniature person around them, and I'd have a hard time feeling like an equal partner in a romantic relationship with someone like that. (I'm not saying it's impossible, just that it would be a bit of a strike against them to begin with.)

- Katya
A: My dear,

I have mostly dated boys taller than me. That has a lot to do with the fact that almost all of them are—it's a bit hard to find guys shorter than 5'4". Overall, I prefer a guy who's just a few inches taller than me: three to four inches taller is ideal.

Really, though, height isn't that important. I've had one boyfriend who was five feet tall. He's a nice guy. I'm not dating him anymore, true, but that has nothing to do with his height, and that's a fact!

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear Got it,

In the interest of giving a male opinion, I'll answer as well.

As a general rule, most girls are shorter than me. Thus, when I give a hug, it's usually to someone shorter than me. When I imagine a girl, I usually imagine someone shorter than me. I get used to things being that way, and it just seems natural. While money might play some role statistically, in my case, I don't think it has much influence. I just get used to girls being shorter than me, and dating someone taller seems "weird."

Of course, some people go for weird, so I can't speak for everyone. Just for myself.

Have a nice day!

-Yellow
Question #36650 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If being around someone makes you sad, but not having them around makes you even sadder, what would you do?

- Happy the Dwarf

A: Dear unhappy,

I would ask them how they felt and what they wanted.

-krebscout
A: Dear Happy,

I'd go back to Wales.

-Tangerine
A: Dear Happy,

Fix the reason that they make you sad when they're around.

- Lavish
A: Dear (not?) Happy,

I would fill up my time with other people and things that make me happy.

-the young lady in question
A: Dear,

I'd work on detaching myself emotionally from them, and find new people and interests and things to do. A no-win situation is an uncomfortable one, and I see little reason to stay in it.

If you're talking about family, though, instead of someone you're interested in romantically, I'd say something similar, but not exactly the same. Try not to be so influenced by them that you are no longer in control of your own emotions and happiness. Be the best daughter/son/sister/brother/mother/father/etc you can, but don't allow yourself to feel guilty or unhappy when things aren't perfect between you. You shouldn't abandon the relationship altogether, most of the time, but you shouldn't let it rule you.

But if, as I suspect, you're talking about someone you're interested in, but who is for some reason unable or unwilling to return the sentiment in the usual manner, I say you detach your affections as soon as possible, and look somewhere more fruitful.

-songs on inexperience
A: My dear,

This made me think of this song by Weird Al. Aaaah...

- The Defenestrator
Question #36649 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I want to be the next BYU president, is there any way I can some how talk to the Board of Trustee and give them a little presentation?

- Sammy

A: Dear Sammy,

Hmm. I would guess probably not. But I think it would be much more professional if you were to work out the details of such a meeting on your own, wouldn't you think? At least they would remember you as you went through the process instead of showing up after some random, lowly, Board Writer did all of the work for you; so good luck with everything :) and, uh, if you do become President...remember me at football games.

- steen

p.s. If your first name begins with a C and your last name ends with a -gues, then that would be really funny.
Question #36648 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What percentage of the BYU population feels blessed to be attending BYU? And how many hate it here?

- I love it here

A: Dear Loves it,

100% of the people that I talked to feel very blessed to be here. However, the numbers may be skewed a little bit because I made it clear that I'd kick anyone's butt if they said that they hated it here and didn't want to be here. It was this choice though and they all said they loved it. :-)

~Krishna
A: Dear majority,

I'll write a survey if you administer it and compute the data. Good?

-Olympus
A: Dear I loved it too

I polled a fair number of BYU graduates that attended BYU, but are now attending another institute of higher education. They all loved it at BYU (100 percent, that's not a bad approval rating).

-Humble Master
A: Dear,

Eh, I'd say it's not quite 100%. It's a high number, but just about any organization will have people who are a little disgruntled. I'll say between 80% and 95% feel really glad to be here. A few hundredths will be indifferent. For true hatred of the school, I'm guessing 1-2%.

-Uffish Thought
Question #36647 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do any of you know what has happened to bismark since winter semester ended?

- Curiouser and Curiouser

A: Dear,

I asked him.
I went to Japan. It is awesome. I asked the board writers if they wanted anything, and only Tangerine and Krebscout responded in the affirmative, so I guess they are the only ones who get anything. There are many Asian girls here. That is definitely a plus. I like the food too. Goodbye.
-bismark
And there you have it.

-Uffish Thought
Question #36646 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

When I'm good at something I don't like to see it being done badly. I'd define that as being a control freak. The only options here for me are either taking over the project and making it good, or staying out of it completly and letting it go to pot. Generally the first option doesn't make as many friends as the second for some reason, but the second option generally leads to a bad grade or a losing performance. What do you guys think about my situation? Should I continue to take over things that I know I can make better, or should I step back and smile while I slowly implode watching something be done badly? Do you have any experiences in situations like these?

Yours Truly,
Eponine

A: Dear Eponine,

I confess that I don't understand why you think these two extremes are your only options. There is a middle road; there is the opportunity to be a contributing, fruitful member without being the ringleader. We've all been in these situations before - we're all intelligent, creative people. I've found that sometimes I silently get elected as leader in the natural progression of things and sometimes I don't, and it never helps a bit to try to force the group dynamic. So sometimes you do have to let go, but have some faith - your way to do things isn't the only way to do things. Don't mistake a differing opinion for an inferior one.

-krebscout
A: Dear Eponine,

Like krebscout said, these aren't your only options. By your philosophy, someone like a math teacher should either do all her students' homework for them, or she should just sit back and let them all fail because they don't know how to do it. Why not explain your group how you'd like things to be done and educate them about why it's a better way of doing things? Take the opportunity to improve your skills in rhetoric and negotiation.

- Katya
Question #36634 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Are some numbers more aesthetically pleasing than others? I was wondering because at work I'm sometimes asked to assign prices to products and I was wondering if some numbers were intrinsically more appealing than others. I'm also into online auction scene where I'm always trying to bid the perfect amount of money. So I guess I have two questions: what kinds of numbers encourage people to purchase products (or at least don't drive them away) and what numbers should I use or avoid when trying to bid the perfect amount in an auction?

- Dollars and Nonsense

- Anonymous

A: Dear Dollars and Nonsense

This is just my musing, not any hard actual data. It seems that anything that ends in .99 is more pleasing, because customers are less intimidated in paying $4.99 than $5.00 (or any other full dollar total). This at least appears to be the regular trend. Perhaps people who do the pricing believe that customers are complete morons, and won't catch on that they are only one cent off from the more intimidating dollar amount. Gas stations take this to the next level and charge 9/10 of a cent beyond the actual price.

As far as bidding online goes, I always like to add one cent to whatever my gut says I shouldn't bid beyond. So, if I think $7.50 is a reasonable price, I'll go ahead and bid $7.51, because someone else is likely to think $7.50 is a good price (but of course, when they see the winning bid is only one cent more, they know someone bid only $7.51).

-Humble Master

Question #36623 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear One Hundred Hour Board,

You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum upfront. How much cash do you give the wizard?

--Chuck Klosterman

A: Dear Chuck

Well, according to the Law of the Conservation of Attraction, if I were to become fifty dollars more attractive, someone somewhere would become fifty dollars less attractive. I'm afraid I'm not willing to do that (incidentally, this Law also explains why young people who look so awkward in the early stages of puberty stop looking so weird, somewhere someone is leaving middle age, and growing less attractive at the same rate).

-Humble Master
A: Dear CK,

None at all. I don't pay random magicians, and I can think of much better uses for my money. I'm also not all that concerned about being more attractive. I think how I was born is good enough for me.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Chuck Klosterman,

I would look at the Wizard oddly and accuse him of playing mind games with me. Then I would walk up to the person who became a dollar better looking and ask for his number (assuming that it was a man).

~Krishna
A: Dear Kloster,

I'd take the money that I was going to spend on my Prince Charming's birthday present and hand it to the Wizard. I'm sure my prince would enjoy it.

~The Mischievous Madame
A: Dear Not-Norris,

I would walk away. There's no need to respond to him or show any outward form of emotion. Honestly. After reaching a few blocks away I would reach into my left sleeve and pull out the magic wand that I swiped off of him. You see: First off, I don't need to look any better and if I did people might believe I'm suave and sophisticated (which would be a terrible terrible lie). Second, he was an unauthorized wizard practicing magic on Muggles for a profit. Unacceptable! With his wand gone and the immediate threat removed I would promptly phone the Ministry of Magic and have his bottom hauled off to Azkaban.

I would then proceed to use his wand for answering board questions. "TELL ME THE NAME OF ALL THE BYU COMMENCEMENT SPEAKERS! CRUCIO! ALL OF THEM!

It would be most helpful.

-Castle in the Sky
A: My dear,

I wouldn't do it. It would be downright irresponsible for me to attempt to become any more attractive than I am. I am already nigh unto irresistible; just think of the havoc that would be wrought if my attractiveness factor were to increase by even a tiny little bit!

- The Defenestrator
Question #36621 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Yesterday I was at the zoo (the one in Portland, OR, if that makes a difference) when I saw something strange. In the tiger cage was a phone book, torn a bit at the edges, as if it had been used as a toy. A similar phone book was in the orangutan pen. Why were these animals in possession of phone books? I thought they were trying to call locksmiths.

- the Cleric of Oxenford.

A: Dear,

I can't say for certain, but I bet they have been used as toys. They flip around in the wind a little, which might make them slightly appealing. Besides, there are always outdated phone books around, so it's an inexpensive item to toss in a cage. I think I remember seeing this at a few other zoos.

-Uffish Thought
A: Dear Cleric of Oxenford

Obviously phone books enrich zoo animals lives. No really, I'm not being silly. From the St. Louis Zoo's website:
The Zoo and AT&T Yellow Pages would like to thank you for participating in the 2006 phone book recycling drive. Some of the phone books collected will be used as enrichment items for primates, elephants and rhinos. The rest will be recycled by AT&T.
However, I can find no information about how, exactly, the phone books enrich zoo animals lives. Perhaps they have better social lives with the phone books (maybe they call home every week or so, see how the old gang in the mother continent is hanging).

-Humble Master
Question #36608 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have a friend. I am a boy, she is a girl. She is in need of several swimming suits, but has a hard time finding what she wants, and is considering buying a bikini and wearing it under tank top/ shorts. I don't quite know what to think of this. Anyway, she specifically has a hard time finding swimming suits with a built in bra. Any of you girls have suggestions for companies that make such swimming suits? Anything in Provo, Salt Lake, or even the internet will be helpful!

-Just trying to help

A: Dear Just Trying,

Swimsuit shopping is a jerk. Ever since I blossomed into a young lady, there's only been one place that I've found satisfactory swimwear - Sam's Club. Strange, I know, but they have those tables of clothes in the front of the store and they're cheap and they're pretty modest and they're excellent. The swimsuit I own now is a tankini set from Sam's paired with a set of boy's swimtrunks for extra modesty. Sam's carries a few brands, including Speedo, which is one of the best for females, support-wise. You should definitely tell her to take a look there.

-krebscout
A: My dear,

My sisters and I went swimsuit shopping last week. After going to several stores, we found success at Sears! The really interesting thing about our trip was that we all ended up getting the same suit. They only had one in the correct size, so we ordered two more. (Well, Mom did.) The suit costs more than I'd usually spend on a swimsuit, but I think it's going to be worth it.

Anyway, it's really cute, and terrifically modest. High enough in the front and back, and very well constructed in the sides (with the armholes correctly sized to offer adequate coverage, I mean). One really exciting thing: the legs openings are not high cut! I think I may be able to abandon the shorts I usually wear as protection from wedgie visibility! Amazing!

You may think it's strange for me to recommend one specific swimsuit, but I'm doing it. My sisters and I are built fairly differently, and it fits all three of us, and is flattering, so...yeah. Maybe your friend should check it out. (I couldn't get the picture to show up on the page, but if you click "Enlarge Image," it should open up in its own window.)

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear Just trying,

You'd think this would be easier in Utah. My mom found a great sale at JC Penny's at home, bought seven of their suits (all modest one-pieces, actually) and brought them out when she was coming anyway, had me try them all on and took six back.

Granted, I may have an unusually nice mother here:) I don't know where her home/family are located, but an arrangement like that may or may not be necessary or convenient for your friend. The moral of the story is, if she can, tell her to try JC Penny's.

I think I remember some of my friends saying they use Land's End or some other type of online shopping ... they buy a few, try them on, and return the ones they don't want. Same idea. Your friend shouldn't have to have an elaborate clothing arrangement if she doesn't want to - hopefully these ideas will help.

-Olympus
A: Dear,

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with doing a bikini under other swimwear, so long as you're comfortable and modest. A bikini is basically a swimming bra, it seems, and that sounds like exactly what she needs, since she can't seem to find regular swim suits with built-in bras. What's wrong with adding her own, simply for extra support and modesty.

It's harder, of course, to swim in shorts and a tank top that aren't designed for swimming--they create more drag. But if she can find a tankini thing, shorts and a top that are designed for water, and she feels modest in them, no big gaps around her stomach, I really don't see a problem. I think the guidance about one-pieces is less about the number of items of clothing you're wearing, and more about coverage and modesty. I don't feel bad wearing swim shorts along with my suit, because that makes two pieces. And I don't think she should feel bad swimming in three, if that makes her most comfortable, and most modest.

Other than that, just shopping around in lots of stores for a long time is the best advice I can give. Swimsuit shopping IS hard. Bleh.

-Uffish Thought
Question #36597 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear One Hundred Hour Board,

Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so-called "super gorilla." Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over 12,000 words, an IQ of almost 85 and--most notably--a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs 700 pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that the gorilla would be "borderline unblockable" and would likely average 6 sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made it clear that he would never intentionally injure any opponent. You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?


--Chuck Klosterman

A: Dear Chuck,

I sure don't think so. Those things are HUGE! He could tear someone apart if he wanted. Humans are unpredictable enough, why add animals to the crazy mix of football?

~Krishna
A: Dear Chuck

No, in general. But absolutely, 100 percent, certainly, unequivocally, under no circumstances would I allow a gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders. We don't want those players negatively influencing a gorilla. They would cause it to regress down the evolutionary scale by the first water break of the first practice (yes, that was a rip about the perception of the Oakland Raiders football team, not football players in general) now, if the XFL were still around they might allow it...).

-Humble Master
Question #36594 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So i am employed at the Orem Fitness Center (OFC-4-LIFE) and sometimes when we close there is a ghost, fredrick as we fondly refer to him, and he likes to appear in the pool gallery and makes the pidder padder of little feet downstairs on the track. Countless numbers of employees can attest to this frightful experience. Rumor has it that it is the tormented soul of the young boy that drowned the first year the center opened. We call him Fredrick, but we would we like to know the real name of the one death at the OFC. Can you find it?

- IM A TEN

A: Dear Ten

It's not a ghost. It's a sea otter that got lost while migrating to the coast (it was part of a traveling zoo, that's how it ended up in Utah). The night janitor has been training it to do even more tricks, and hopes to soon post a Youtube video that will lead him to fame and fortune (the night janitor has not yet realized that those people who make fools of themselves on internet videos never get any money). Oddly enough, the sea otter is, in fact, named Fredrick.

(Ok, in all seriousness, I've searched Utah newspaper archives and can find no information about any deaths at the Orem Fitness Center, I'm going to assert that there never was any death, and the ghost rumor started as a joke, but has since taken on a life of its own).

-Humble Master
Question #36577 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you know where I can purchase fresh guavas in northern Utah? They didn't have any at Wild Oats, and concentrate is not good enough.

Guava Boy

A: My dear,

No.

- The Defenestrator






Okay, okay...

There seem to be a lot of bath products and the like that include some variation of guava...

You can buy dried guava online here...

And, I found this chain of smoothie shops called Keva Juice. They use Real Fruit (according to Wikipedia), and guava is specifically mentioned. There's one located in Bountiful. (I looked at Jamba Juice, but couldn't find anything that implied that they use genuine fresh guavas.) Anyway, maybe you could go on over and offer to pay them lots of money for their guavas. Or you could use coercion, or whatever method you prefer.

Alternately, you could get a friend who's going to Hawaii to bring you back some fresh guava...

Now, if you want to grow a guava tree, there are many places that will sell you one. (Only $9.95! What a bargain!) According to the place that I linked, the potted guava trees you buy from there should be ready to bear fruit within two years. AND you keep them inside ("Ideal houseplant!"), so the non-tropical weather shouldn't be a problem...

Or, you can look on eBay! I saw a link that suggested I might be able to, and started getting all excited...but then it was just seeds or plants. Go figure. Who wouldn't want to buy fresh fruit on eBay?!

So, in case you couldn't tell, I'm not in Utah right now. I've been trying really hard online, and coming up with nothing that's actually helpful. It seems like your best option may be to charter a private jet to some tropical location, pick however many guavas you require, and go back to Utah.

Or, in the case that money is an object, you could try calling some local grocery stores...I'm sure at least one of them must have guava...they just didn't want to talk about it online.

I hope that you found this entertaining, if lamentably unhelpful!

- The Defenestrator
Question #36576 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why is Myspace banned but Facebook is not at BYU? A detailed answer for both parts would be appreciated.
- jj

A: Dear jj,

Myspace: crappy, unmoderated, full of sleaze, waste of internet bandwidth.

Facebook: well-designed, moderated, responsive to removing inappropriate content, useful

-obstreperous
A: Dear,

I'd guess it has a lot to do with bandwidth, too. Although I wouldn't be surprised if Facebook were someday blocked, too, as it seems to get bigger and bigger and fuller and fuller of video clips and music streaming and other things that take up a lot of bandwidth.

-Uffish Thought
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Questions about plants:

1. You know the pink roses at the temple? What kind of roses are they?

2. The slope that leads down to the library's underground floor (directly south of the ASB) has vines climbing all the way down the walls. They are all the same kind of vines except for a nice long patch of extremely pretty leaves on the Southeast corner. What kind of vines are those?

- Green-thumb

A: Dear,

I asked my friend Butch again. This is what he got back to me. I don't how perfectly it answers your questions, but it's better than nothing, and it's the best I can do.
At the library the vines are English Ivy. It grows well, thickly, it's evergreen, and looks pretty much the same all year long. It's cousin Boston Ivy goes reddish bronze in the fall and loses it's leaves in Winter. Be careful where you plant it. It literally sticks to walls and leaves a sticky residue if you ever pull it off. It grows best in the shade.
As for the Temple roses, They're a type of miniature shrub rose (that's planted in rows down the front) I can't remember the exact name, it's something like... "child's play" or something like that. I'll see what I can figure out.


So, hope that helped a little. I'll let you know if he comes up with new info.

-Uffish Thought
Question #36524 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How much merchandise did IKEA Draper sell on May 23rd? If they won't give you that number, how many people visited the store?

- Camper

A: Dear Camper,

Let's see what we can find out.

I called IKEA's customer service and talked with a helpful representative before being transferred to the person in charge of public relations. She confirmed that she would be the person to know, but she actually did not have either of those figures for Draper. She also said that they generally did not release that information and apologized for not being able to help more.

That'll be 1 banana cream pie.

-The Investigator
Question #36458 posted on 06/05/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have a dilemma. I applied a few months ago as a transfer with less than 30 credits (for the summer semester) and was rejected because my high school gpa was a 3.3. I recently sent my college transcript in after this semester and changed my status on the application to a transfer with more than 30 credits. After doing so I received an e-mail that they would need my transcript (they hadn't received it yet) to re-evaluate their previous decision for admisison in the summer 2007 semester. My question is, should I just change the semester I am applying for to Winter 2008? I figure that I will have a better chance of admission applying for the winter 2008 than having them re-evaluate an application previously rejected. I also figured that they would have their 3000 admitted transfer students already and that I could be one of the first transfer students admitted into BYU for 2008. By the way, my GPA was a 3.63.
So am I making the right decision just applying for the winter semester instead of the summer? Thanks, sorry for the life story.

- Reporting to Salt Lake City mission in two weeks!

A: Dear Reporting,

If you're going on your mission in two weeks it doesn't seem like it will matter either way. I just recommend sending them your transcript as they requested. At worse, they will recommend that you apply Winter 08. You have nothing to lose.

-Castle in the Sky