"When you get a little older, you'll see how easy it is to become lured by the female of the species." - 1960's Batman TV show
Question #36938 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Wannabe,

If you want to get into the CIA...

Learn Arabic, Farsi, Urdu, Pashto, Mandarin, Hindu or Hmong.

Then they actually BEG you to apply. I know... it was a pleasant feeling to be able to turn down a provisional job offer.

That is all.

Horatio

Question #36936 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

A comment Vis-A-Vie Board Question #36748, dated June 11, 2007.

Alas!

I can not and indeed do not find fault with friend Yellow's opining, rather, I find fault with his reasoning, viz.
"Monty Python is, for all intents and purposes, a collection of related skits with no real interconnecting plot, some of which are rather crude."

It makes me wonder if friend Yellow is at all familiar with the source material for the film? He comments about the excellence of W. Goldman's abridgment of S. Morgenstern's "The Princess Bride" (at least, I /assume/ it was the abridgment. If he has the full text, I'd like very much to see it), but makes no comment about Sir T. Malory's "Morte d'Arthur" before leveling his charges against the Pythons' adaptation. Even an incautious reading will find that while the Pythons have taken liberties with the specifics, their film adaptation is remarkably true to both the tone and the overall feeling of the text: episodic narration, bawdy details, absurd violence, and all.

Indeed, most medieval fiction seems to be a balance of those three things. Chaucer? The Fabliaux? Even liturgical drama is full of things that I would hesitate to relate to my mother: viz. the moral to "Millere his tale", a 13th century French story entitled "Le Chevalier qui fist les cons parler", and "The Second Shepherds' Play"

I'll say no more, save that it is sometimes helpful to be aquatinted with things and stuff before speaking about them.

- Portia, the fire eater

Post Script.

For those so inclined, Project Gutenberg has "Le Morte d'Arthur" here: http://www.gutenberg.org/browse/authors/m#a573

A: Dear Portia,

Fair enough. Monty Python and the Holy Grail may also be an adaptation of a literary work. It might even be a true adaptation. But that still doesn't change my point; you could take out any one scene in that film and not lose anything. Maybe the book's that way too. But it still isn't my cup of tea.

I guess the point is that The Princess Brideisn't better simply because it's an adaptation of a book, but rather that it's better because it's an adaptation of a book with a real plot line, character development, and much less bawdiness. I much prefer it.

That said, I wasn't aware of Mr. Malory's book, so many thanks for the added information.

Smile!

-Yellow
Question #36932 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Quasi-related to Board Question #36767:

I'm sure you already do this, but reading the instructions and warnings carefully and considering your family's medical history (and any others meds you're already on) before taking a new medication is really important. (Doctors are great, but they're human and make mistakes, so don't just expect that your doctor will always give you the medication that is best and safest for you on the first try. And even an excellent doctor isn't a mind reader. If you have extra information, help your doctor out and share it.)

With birth control, for instance--if you have a genetic predisposition to blood clotting, the estrogen in birth control will aggravate the condition. So if you know that your family members have had trouble with blood clots, discuss it with your doctor and consider getting a blood test before going on birth control.

-loved Yasmin; should have read the warnings

*Birth control doesn't cause clotting problems for most women, and only around 3-8 percent of the US caucasian population have the most common clot-causing genetic condition. (Other groups have a lower instance.) So it's not a reason to panic and avoid birth control. Just something to be aware of.

Question #36929 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear Sparkle and Leroy,

In response to Board Question #36826, it is possible for a little girl to "break" someone's neck. It practically happened in my family. My dad was playing on the bed with my then-3-year-old sister, Amy. Well, Amy jumped on him, and happened to land directly on his neck. It was just a little jump, and she didn't weigh much at all, but my dad instantly was in pain. For the next month and a half, he suffered - due to improper diagnosis in our small country hospital, he didn't get properly treated til long after the incident (they had held the x-rays upside down - I'm serious). The problem was that my sister had knocked some of his discs in his spine way out of place, and they pinched off all the nerves to his left arm and side - he could barely move his arm, it constantly hurt, and it tingles to this day. He had to undergo major surgery, tons of painkillers, and months and months of bedrest. All because of a three year old girl.

Ok, well, technically, it wasn't a BROKEN neck, but your neck is very fragile, and here is one case where a small girl was indeed the cause of some serious neck damage! Watch out, they're cute, but they're deadly too...

-Spaceman Spiff

Question #36917 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In response to Board Question #36789, the hamartia of which you speak is not a tragic flaw, such as those found in many Shakespeare plays. Hamartia is a serious mistake that one makes--a sin, or transgression, if you will--that is in no way connected to a pre-destined character flaw. Just wanted to clear that up.

Yours Truly,
Eponine (who does not want misinformation about Greek Tragedies spreading)

Question #36857 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why don't people like us as much as the Even Numbers?

-Odd Numbers

A: Dear odd,

Here's a lesson: It's not about aptitude; it's the way you're viewed.

Basically, evens know the proper ploys when they talk to boys (or, if they're boys, girls) - little ways to flirt and flounce. They know what shoes to wear, how to fix their hair - everything that really counts to be popular. They have the right cohorts, they're good at sports, they know the slang you've got to know.

Really. Think of celebrated heads of state or especially great communicators -- did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were popular!

What you need is a teacher. Find one of those evens and get 'em to make you their new project. They'll know exactly what you need. Soon you'll be popular, too (although, maybe not quite as popular as those evens).

Or, if you don't want that advice, try washing your hair once every two weeks, and make sure to tell Johnny Football Hero that he played a good game last weekend, and that you liked his article in the newspaper. The evens are all over that.

-Olympus
A: Dear 1, 3, 5, 7, . . .,

I like for things to be balanced, and even numbers seem more balanced to me. (Also, I think of even numbers as female and odd numbers as male, for some reason.)

- Katya
Question #36856 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I read Board Question #31057. Let's reverse the genders on that question. To put it into context: a guy and a girl have been friends for a sustained amount of time. (We'll say rule of thumb, over a year.) The guy comes to the realization, "Man, I really want something more to happen with this girl." However, he's not positive there's reciprocation and because of their good friends status, it might be more difficult to hint at deeper affection without putting it all on the table. Should the guy risk an incredible awkwardness that MIGHT end the friendship for a deeper relationship? AND! How should said guy go for the deeper relationship? Just be BLATANT about the whole thing, or what?

-Good Wood for Fire

A: Dear Dry Wood,

I think it's a lot easier for the guy, that said, I don't think there should be a difference. Our culture has made it that way but that's just stupid.

Second, yes. Sincerity is best and just remember the lesson from "Phantom of the Opera": the guy who said I love you first won.

-Castle in the Sky
Question #36855 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My nephew is 5 1/2 years old. He's been experimenting with urinating lately (so I've been told by his parents). He "decorated" a friend's bathroom recently, much to the dismay of the friend's mother, who forced Nephew to clean it up (which was good). Nephew also apparently urinated on his 3-year-old sister. His parents are unsure as to what to make of that (naturally they were furious), but although his father says such a thought never crossed his mind in his life, he simply guesses it is a boy-discovering-himself sort of thing. I asked other men about this and they don't agree; Nephew is an agressive child anyway and they believe that he went above and beyond what is normally expected of young boys. I have to say that something tells me that they're right. If he were younger, perhaps, but I think he is old enough to know that that sort of thing is really bad. What do you think?

- Upset Auntie

A: Dear Auntie,

I agree. That doesn't sound normal to me, and it does seem to fit in with more aggressive behavior. It sounds like his parents aren't too happy with it, in any case, and I bet they'll do their best to help him change his behavior.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Upset,

Yeah, seconding Laser Jock, that's not normal. It's one thing for a little boy to not understand the "decorating" a bathroom but at 5 1/2 years old peeing on your little sister seems off. I would really look into that because it doesn't sound like it's going to just naturally go away.

-Castle in the Sky
Question #36853 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why is the order for posts in the archived version of the board different than when it's on the home page? For example, when I click on June 8th in the archives, it starts with (^36716), whereas the home page for June 8th starts with (^36614).

Also, does it happen all the time, or only sometimes? I've seen it before, but not always. Before I log in and after has the same results as going into the archives, but only sometimes.

- Twister of Fate, who hopes this question makes sense.

A: Dear Twister,

Yeah, I know what you're talking about. You may want to check out Board Question #18893 and Board Question #23873; basically, it's just the way things were programmed, and it's minor enough that we haven't taken the time to fix it. It does it on a fairly consistent basis, although I haven't checked to see if it does it every day or not. Right now we're working on the next version of the Board, so it'll probably wait at least until then.

—Laser Jock
Question #36852 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In Board Question #36264 I asked about transcripts of the SPEECHES given at University commencement and college convocation. The answer I was given related to GRADE transcripts available from the record office. I appreciate Hobbes' previous help, but can any of you find information on the SPEECHES from graduation.

- BYU Alum still looking for an answer

A: Dear BYU Alum,

You can definitely obtain transcriptions of all speeches given at commencement. For example, Dick Cheney's speech is available at speeches.byu.edu. To get a hold of a commencement speech from a specific college I would contact the Deans Office of that college. They usually contract a student to transcribe those. In fact, I've been hired to transcribe the commencement speeches for my particular college. (I'm almost done with that.)

There you go!

-Just Another Cassio
...apologizing for the miscommunication.
Question #36851 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,
What does werf mean? I've heard you guys say it a lot.

- Kissables

A: Dear Kissables

There is a FAQ about this very subject. I will give a summary answer here, but the full FAQ can be found here (or by clicking the "Frequently Asked Questions" button on the left side of the Board web page). So what is a werf you ask? To quote from the FAQ "'werf' is a term to replace he/she or his/her in writing, concocted by the workers at IS (Independent Study)." It's a gender neutral form of he/she, and we Board writers hope for the day it is in the vernacular.

-Humble Master
A: Dear Kissables,

It should be noted that 'werf' is to be used in situations where using 'one' is impractical. For example, you cannot say "When a customer comes to the door, ask one for one's identification." You can, however, say "When a customer comes to the door, ask werf for werf's identification."

'Werf' denotes a specific individual of unspecified gender, while 'one' simply represents any generic individual.

-Yellow
Question #36850 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you could choose the mode of your death, what would it be?

- Free Rain, who wishes to be hit by lightning when she's 98

A: Dear Free

Old age (though I've heard freezing to death is also a very comfortable way to go).

-Humble Master
A: Dear Free as a bird,

I'd like to die peacefully (in my sleep or otherwise), preferably with my family around me.

Also see Board Question #35049 and Board Question #15414.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear charged,

I'd like to go sleeping, peacefully, like my grandfather, and not screaming like the other people in his car. (Obligatory Reference.)

However, there's no "like" about it. I know how I'll go, because I have looked in the prophetic glass eye of an old woman who lives near my childhood home.

I can't really discuss the specifics here. However, I'd start buying futures in small clarinet manufacturers, if I were you.

-Olympus
Question #36849 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the origin/meaning behind "This little piggy..."? Isn't it a little odd that a pig is eating roast beef? And what is "wee wee wee"? Curious to know...

With such a brief and succinct question, you may wonder,
could it be?
is it she?
it is I
I do not humbly deny
to be
- Future Mrs. Master

A: Dear Pretty Lady

I was privy to the conversation that sparked this question, and now I've got to go and do the research myself. Unfortunately, my research did not turn up answers to all of your questions. Apparently the rhyme falls into a tradition of tickling games. At this site I did find out that:
The words for "This little piggy" nursery rhyme are used to point out each one of the child's toes! The last line in "This little piggy" is used to accompany the child being tickled by the narrator of the poem! This rhyme is extremely popular which ensures that it will be passed from generation to generation. The first publication date for the words and lyrics for this nursery rhyme was in 1728.
I do not know why the person who typed that up was so very excited about the first two sentences that they were deemed worthy of exclamation points. Other sites more or less have this same information (though they lacked exclamation points). It seems that the "Wee wee wee" does not refer to any bladder control issues the last little piggy is suffering, but is meant to imply the child's laughter when tickled.

As for why a little piggy is enjoying roast beef...well at least it wasn't bacon. Animals eating other animals isn't as creepy as cannibalism.

-Humble Master
A: Dear Sgt. Sarah,

I've always understood the "wee wee wee" to be the sound a pig makes...

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #36845 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear Board,

Why is it that in car commercials, the car has a license plate that is painted the same color as the car? Since they pretty much are always a "Professional Driver on a Closed Course," do they even need a plate?

- Lite Walker

A: Dear Lite Walker

I am assuming that in order to operate the vehicle, even on a closed course, it must be licensed. It is the same color as the car to avoid being distracting (I found all sorts of state laws about fines for operating an unlicensed vehicle, but nothing specific to filming a car commercial).

-Humble Master
Question #36844 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What advantages are there to online check-in (for airports)? I've been tempted to do it and print out my tickets that way, but I figure I have to check my bags at the airport anyway, so it doesn't save me anything. Am I right, or are there more advantages to online check-in?

- Flyer

A: Dear Frederick,

Oh, there's definitely more advantages. If you print your boarding pass online, you get a higher spot in line so you can be in a higher boarding class and board the plane faster.

Also, if you happen to not be checking any luggage and just have carry-on stuff (I did this once and it was bliss), you can just head straight through security and to your gate, then to your spot at the front of the line! Amazing.

-Kicks and Giggles
Question #36843 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear Hobbes,

I think I know who you are.... Tvaya Mama!

- Sparkle and Leroy

A: Dear Sparkle and Leroy~

Well, apparently I'm trapped. The only defense I have is that I also know who you are. If you choose to resort to blackmail, I warn you I shall prove a challenging mark. However, I think you should use your newly-discovered information to come over to my apartment and we should settle this over cookies and milk.

~You know who

PS. I understand your inability to bring me cookies in the past, as we have a tendency to be in different countries, but I'm sure you'll figure something out.
Question #36841 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I've been backed up on my board reading for a few days so I just had the chance to peruse through Board Question #36669 regarding gosspy board writers.

I noticed krebscout was the first to answer, my questions are regarding her.

I hear she had a missionary come home yesterday! Not being LDS, I don't really know how long it takes for missionarys in love to propose to their equaly loving girls.

So,
When will kreby's boy propose?
Will I meet you all at the wedding reception?
Do they need a toaster?

- Bleser

A: Dear CJ,

He'll propose when they both feel like it's the right time.

There's not really a standard amount of time that it takes for missionaries to propose to their girls (IF the girl waited, and that's a minority). In fact, the majority of missionaries whose girls did wait for them don't end up marrying those girls...although I don't think that'll happen to our dear krebscout and her (former) Elder M.

I hope I'll meet you at the reception! I was bummed I missed out on when you were here. And I imagine they won't need a toaster, but crock pots or twizzlers are always good to have.

-Kicks and Giggles
Question #36839 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,
What is BYU's ballet class like? Do you have to wear a leotard?
-twyla

A: Dear Theodore,

It's pretty much like any other ballet class, except you get a grade. Yes, you have to wear a leotard. And pink tights. (Let me tell you, those mirror-lined dance studios were not my friend when I took that class, but I had some fun and learned a lot, so it can be worth it. Plus everybody else has to wear the same awful get-up, so at least you're not alone.)

-Kicks and Giggles
Question #36822 posted on 06/13/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I know you get this a lot, but there's always different writers and always different books coming out. What's the one book I absolutely must read this summer?

I have already read a lot of the "classics," but haven't read much recently published literature--not much time with school and such. Am I the only one who keeps a life list of every book I can ever remember reading? Or is that really weird? Anyway... that was more than one question. Sorry. I just have a lot of time on my hands this summer and have been devouring old favorites and need some fresh suggestions.

Thanks,
Ella Enchanted

A: Dear Ethel,

If you're going to read just one book this summer, please read Gilead by Marilynne Robinson, found at our very own Harold B. Lee Library and on Amazon.

-Kicks and Giggles
A: Dear Ella,

I'm going to assume you'll be reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows no matter what is said here. So I'm going to recommend The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (it won the Pulitzer...).

-Humble Master
A: Dear Ella,

The book that was recommended to me last summer I will go ahead and recommend to you. I suggest reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It's fiction and very interesting (to me at least).

My favorite line? Well that would have to be "...at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the worlds greatest lie."

Enjoy!

-Just Another Cassio
...reading this right now.
A: Dear Ella,

If you want to be like me, you could read The Parliament of Man: The Past, Present and Future of the United Nations, by Paul Kennedy. I can't vouch for it yet, because I'm only a few pages in, but we could compare notes.

Also on my list of books to get my hands on: What I Know for Sure: My Story of Growing Up in America, by Tavis Smiley. (Who is a RAD speaker, by the way, and I've heard this book is just as charismatic and genuine.)

-Olympus