"When you get a little older, you'll see how easy it is to become lured by the female of the species." - 1960's Batman TV show
Question #36875 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What should I get my dad for Father's Day? Here's the thing: the man virtually has no hobbies! I feel like all I've ever given him over the years are things like new socks, car wash gift certificates (lame, I know) and crossword puzzle magazine subscriptions (the one thing I know he enjoys, but has received so many as gifts I've banned it as a possible option.) He's naturally pretty book smart, isn't really social and doesn't like to talk a lot. Difficult to shop for? Extremely. I'll be honest, we're not on lovey dovey father daughter terms like most BYU students who seem to come from ideal Mormon homes. But he is my dad and I feel obligated. Any creative ideas?


A: Dear Desperate,

Boy, do I sympathize. My dad doesn't fish, grill, play golf or watch sports. Most years, I ask my mom for ideas about what to get him, because she's really good about paying attention when he casually mentions something he might like. So, my first suggestion is to ask your mom if she has any ideas.

However, this year I've decided to do something a bit different. I don't have good ideas for giving my dad anything tangible, but we have a lot of funny family stories about him that have never been written down. For Father's Day, I'm going to write one of them down, and send it to my parents. If I do this every year (and maybe for his birthday, too), I'll eventually gather quite a collection of stories, and they'll be a lot more meaningful than years of socks. Even if you don't have funny stories about your dad, chances are you can still think of things you did together or ways he shows he loves you or what your first memories are of him.

Good luck!

- Katya
Question #36872 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear One Hundred Hour Board,

You meet the perfect person. romantically, this person is ideal. You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about he film's "deeper philosophy." Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

--Chuck Klosterman

A: Dear,

I'm pretty indifferent towards it. So long as he can accept that I don't really care, and that I'll poke fun at him for loving it so much, of course it's not an obstacle.

-songs of inexperience
A: Dear CK,

No problem. I'll see his Dark Crystal and raise him Labyrinth. ("You remind me of the babe . . .")

- Katya
A: Dear Chuck,

You said intellectually stimulating. I may get over it in this instance. If it were anime, however, I might be less forgiving.

Dear Katya,

::is properly sickened::

You're right, though. Labyrinth is way the heck worse.


Question #36870 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I don't officially graduate until August, but I'm done with school June 21st. So, can I say I have a degree from BYU, or what am I supposed to tell people between now and August about my college/degree status? Thanks

- Third

A: Dear Third,

Say that you've completed all your coursework and you'll be awarded a diploma in August. It's not uncommon for there to be a bit of lag time between the two.

- Katya
Question #36869 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How dangerous are foxes to people?

- Wary of Foxes

A: Dear Wary of Foxes~

I know for a fact that Star Fox, if provoked, could destroy an entire planet's worth of people. Luckily, however, he is currently aligned with the forces of righteousness and continues to defend Corneria from the evil Andross.

No, but seriously, that's the funniest question I've seen asked for awhile. Props.

A: Dear Wary

This site is all about foxes. It has the classic Q&A section, and includes the question "Will a fox attack my children?" The answer is:
As a rule, no. However (as with pets, above), foxes will defend their homes if they have kits and if a child is too persistent in hanging around the den. Foxes prefer to run away, leading the predator (child, dog, whatever) away from the den; but if there is no other way to protect the kits, a fox will bare its fangs and try to drive the predator away. A child who persists in trying to get near a litter of kits is asking for trouble; so encourage your child to respect wildlife from a distance, not up close.

That aside: children playing in their own yard or a playground or walking to/from home should be perfectly safe from foxes.
So, it seems that they aren't terribly dangerous to people, but probably shouldn't be provoked (as a side note, the other night I had a harrowing experience at my apartment complex's dumpster that involved a bag of garbage, an attack raccoon, and me fearing for my life).

-Humble Master
Question #36868 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If my brother marries the sister of my best friends husband, is there a name for that relation?

- just wondering

A: Dear Wondering

I believe, though I could be wrong, that she will become your "sister-in-law" (though currently, she is simply your "best friend's husband's sister"). I don't think society has coined many terms for good friend's spouses, much less good friend's spouse's family.

-Humble Master
Question #36867 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Just out of curiosity, what are the 5 largest Cable Companies in EACH of the following countries?

- Spain
- Portugal
- Argentina
- Brazil
- Uruguay
- Chile
- Paraguay

- Cable Complex

A: Dear wire fetish,

You're assuming each country has at least 5 cable companies. Since this is just for curiosity, here are the cable companies I could find for these countries:

  • Aunacable
  • Euskaltel
  • ONO
  • R Cable y Telecomunicaciones de Galicia
  • Retena
  • Telecable
  • TV Cabo
  • Cabovisão
  • TVTel
  • Pluricanal
  • Bragatel
  • CableVisión
  • Video Cable Comunicación (VCC)
  • Clarín
  • Telefé
  • Multicanal S.A.
  • Net
  • TV Cabo Communication/Tv Show Brazil
  • Vivax
  • TVA
  • ViacaboTV
  • Mais TV
  • Montecable
  • Nuevo Siglo
  • Tele Cable Color
  • Televisión Cable Color
  • TV Cable del Este
  • Multicanal S.A.
You're welcome.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #36866 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Best way to get water out of your ear?

- Water-logged

A: Dear Water-logged,

If you have water in your ear for an extended period of time, it might get infected and give you swimmer's ear. If it gets really bad, the doctor can syringe it out (it's a little scary because it sounds really loud, but after it's all out you're like, that was in my ear?). This site lists other treatments for swimmer's ear. Sometimes jiggling your head from side to side can help the the water out (just don't get carried away).

Question #36865 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why is it on some (at least my old) radios that when there's static, you touch it and the static stops, or when you walk by the static gets worse, and stuff like that? Is there something around my house I could tape to the antenna to get that human-touch effect all the time?

- Afflicted Antennae

A: Dear Acute Amplifier,

For this one I ended up combing Google and using what I know of physics to sort through the various explanations that I found. Quite a few people like to speculate about this kind of thing, so there was a lot to wade through.

As far as I can tell, there are basically two situations: either you're just close to the antenna, or you're actually touching it.

To explain what's happening when you're close to the antenna, it helps to realize that radio waves are still light—they just happen to be a different (longer) wavelength than visible light. This means that they, like visible light, are absorbed and reflected by surfaces.

A radio wave can pass the antenna (which picks up the signal), keep going, and then bounce back off of something (like a wall). The antenna will also pick up this second signal. It's easy for the two signals to not quite match up, leading to a poor signal. If you happen to walk in just the right place you may block one of the beams, keeping it from interfering with the other. It's also possible to get reflections coming from several different surfaces at the same time; if two were synced and one was not, you could make the reception worse if you blocked one of the in-sync signals. I'm pretty convinced that this is the right explanation; thanks to this site for being one of the only reliable sources I found anywhere.

I'm a little less certain of the case where you're actually touching the antenna. After sifting through a lot of ignorance, the best answer I can come up with is that your body is functioning as an extension of the antenna. Though there is some surface resistance (your skin), your body itself isn't too bad of a conductor, and it can act as a weak antenna. Apparently that's enough to make a difference in your signal reception.

If you want better reception, you have two options: one, you can try repositioning your antenna. (But I'm guessing you've already tried that.) Or two, you'll have to get a better (probably bigger) antenna. A rooftop antenna would be your best bet, if you were really serious. You could try experimenting with lengths of wire, coat hangars, and so forth (metal touching metal) to see if they help. (You don't want them grounded, though, or you won't get much signal.)

Or you could build this.

—Laser Jock
Question #36863 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What do you prefer: Chocolate or Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Bar?

- Jeb Scooter

A: Dear Jeb,

Though I don't know the specific ice cream sandwiches to which you refer, I assume strawberry since I like everything strawberry.

- Lavish
A: Dear cousin Jeb,

I'm in the mood for some chocolate, but make it dark. Please deliver one of them here (you may have to zoom in all the way).

-Just Another Cassio
...not really there.
A: Dear Jeb,

Since at the moment I have a sore throat, I'm going to say that strawberry sounds much better than chocolate.

Actually, it usually does anyway. Chocolate's good and all, but strawberries?


Question #36862 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,
Lately I have been enjoying the "What were we thinking?" commercials on TV. I think they are sponsored by tobaccofreeutah.com, but when I tried to access that website, my computer had "Problem Loading Page" issues. These commercials show people back in the 50's or 60's smoking -- in a doctor's office, in a diner, on an airplane, etc. My question is: Are those really old film clips, or did they make them for the commercials? It's hard to believe they could find real film clips, but on the other hand, it's hard to believe they could get all the little details so true to the era.

- One who really did see a pediatrician smoke in the examining room with a 9 month old baby present

A: Dear One

I'm not currently in Utah, and unfortunately I haven't seen the commercials you reference. I've looked online but can't find any videos of them. But I'm going to guess they are real footage (such footage as you describe undoubtedly exists, and it would help the rhetorical clout of the commercials if they found it).

Your question inspired me to go the extensive Humble Master DVD collection and find a scene from The Day the Earth Stood Still which always cracks me up. In the film, a peaceful alien has come to Earth, and he is examined by some military doctors. I found the script online (it was easier than transcribing the scene), and heres what the doctor says right after the examination:


Two Medical Corps officers, a Captain and a Major are interestedly studying a series of X-ray films.

The skeletal structure is completely normal. Same for the major organs -— heart, liver, spleen, kidneys.

And the lungs are the same as ours. Must mean a similar atmosphere -- similar pressure. How old do you think he is?

Oh, I'd say forty-five.

He told me this morning when I examined him. He's seventy-eight.

I don't believe it.

Their life expectancy is a hundred and thirty.

How does he explain that?

He says their medicine is that much more advanced. He was very nice about it. But he made me feel like a third-class witch doctor.

What cracks me up so much about this scene, is right when they start marveling at how advanced the alien's medicine is, they start lighting up cigarettes. So, I'm pretty sure such footage as you describe could be found.

-Humble Master
Question #36860 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I come from a long line of Roadshow winners, and have extensive experience in said activity. However, I am just learning, that some people don't even know what a Roadshow is! Do you know what a Roadshow is, and have you participated in one before? Any entertaining stories/favorite moments?

Yours Truly,

A: Dear Gertrude,

Do they even do roadshows anymore? I sure haven't seen one in awhile....nor ever been in one.

I kind of actually think they're pretty dumb (sorry), so I hope they don't do them anymore.

-Kicks and Giggles
A: Dear ep,

Sort of. I was in what my stake called a road show once, when I was a little kid. We never went anywhere, though, so I'm not sure if it was really a road show. Still, I went to road show practice. We danced to "Me and My Shadow" and did the finale, too.

A: Dear Eponine,

I totally know what they are! My home stake did one when I was little and I think my mom like... co-directed ours. Or something like that. Anyway, I was young enough that I don't remember a whole lot about the show but I do remember spray painting black wigs and having the time of my life with it. I always wished that my stake would do them again but sadly, the demographics of my home area weren't exactly the most... roadshow friendly. Not enough people ever wanted to do them.

- Lavish
A: Dear Eponine,

Our ward did roadshows when I was really young, but I never participated in them. I was involved in several plays for Young Women in Excellence, though.

- Katya
A: Dear Eponine

I remember my older siblings being in a roadshow when I was a youngin', but I don't think I ever participated (I do remember a member of our bishopric being a nerdy math teacher, and hitting a yard stick on a desk to get the class's attention so hard that it broke (for some reason I remember that they had a yard stick specially made of balsa wood so it would break)).

-Humble Master
Question #36859 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the chances that I've breathed the exact same air particles as Bathsheba? (I picked Bathsheba just to pick someone.)

- Just wondering

A: Dear Just Wondering,

The chances that you have not breathed one of the same molecules as Bathsheba, or anyone else in not-recent history, are so infinitesimally small that it's basically an impossibility. The math on this site might be a bit off, (I think they underestimate the number of molecules in the atmosphere by at least half,) but even if we say it's one million times less likely than their calculations suggest, you've still probably got 10,000 molecules of Bathsheba air in you right now.

Just in case you don't trust that site, (it does have some pretty cheesy graphics, I know,) this page on newscientist.com suggests that you probably have at least 5 molecules from da Vinci's final breath in you at this very moment.

Crazy, huh?

Question #36854 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you found out that a girl you've been dating for a month has a $10,000 debt and will probably incur a $40,000 debt by the time she graduates from her undergrad work, will this deter you from dating her and actually letting it get serious? If so, how long would you have had to date her to not let it, and if not, how will you pay it off?

- The Financial Analyst

A: Dear Analyst,

It would definitely be a barrier. I'm not going to say there's no way I could marry someone with that debt, though.

Here are my reasons: for the next decade or so I'm going to be in school. And even after I graduate, I'm never going to be rich. Frankly, I have no idea how I would manage that much debt. It would take a long, long time to pay it off, and there's a good chance that some pretty important things (like kids) would have to wait for a while. My wife would probably have to work. None of those ideas sound very attractive.

But you know what? Relationships and marriage don't always make a lot of intellectual sense. If I felt strongly enough about someone I'm sure we could find a way to make things work out, despite having a lot of debt. So I'm not going to rule it out, because stranger things can happen. I'm also not even going to try to give an answer on how long we'd have had to date or how I'd pay it off, since both would be very unpredictable. If I met the right person, it would work out somehow.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Financial Analyst,

I think though that it also depends what the debt is from and how financially responsible she is in general. I think there are obviously situations in which people have to go into debt for school. But like... you can be responsible about it too. I mean, there's a difference between going to school just barely full time, not working, and paying for everything with your loans and going to school while working even a part time job in order to minimize your debt. See what I mean? I think it also depends on what her work ethic is and how her other financial habits look. You know, if she lives within her means and if she does what she can to stay out of debt in other way.

I guess the hard thing is, a lot of times girls start school with full intentions of finishing school but then get married, don't even finish a degree, and then still have to pay off the debt. So then... to an extent, since the girl hasn't finished her degree, the time she spent at school is costing her family more than it's worth. Does that make sense?

Anyway. Just my opinion.

- Lavish
A: Dear FA,

Why do you assume that the guy will be the one to pay it off? I went into debt for my master's degree fully expecting that I would take care of it myself, not that some man would rescue me from my own actions. I resent having my value as a person and a woman reduced to a one single, superficial dimension.

- Katya
Question #36738 posted on 06/14/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm getting started in the wholesale real estate business and as such, I'll be making liberal use of county (Salt Lake county) tax records for residential real estate, which are public records. One way to get these is at the county courthouse, but I'm trying to find a way to get them online (even by subscription if necessary). Is there a way to get these records online, including names and contact info for the owners of record?

- #24601

A: Dear a question about radio stations,

(Since when do questions ask questions?)

A number of websites have referred me to the Salt Lake County Recorder's Office webpage. You'll need to subscribe to access everything, but it appears that all the information you requested will be available there.

Good luck!