"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #37010 posted on 06/16/2007 3:17 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

RE Board Question #36744: My brother, who is doing very well in his law school ranking currently, took an LSAT Prep Course which he recommended over any other. It's offered by Dr. Frank Giulluza (http://departments.weber.edu/polsc/polsc/professors/FGdept.html) at Weber State University in Ogden, UT. The best part: his prep course cost about 1/4th of the Kaplan courses. (My brother reported the cost at $225.) It's offered during the first two or three weekends of August. The price and depth of the course are both VERY appealing. The two drawbacks: it is in Ogden which means you're traveling a bit on those weekends and he does omit prepping students on the reading section of the LSATs. (His theory is that there are a few tips you can pick up to prepare for the reading portion, but ultimately it boils down to your ability to read.)


Question #37008 posted on 06/16/2007 3:17 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In regards to the blessing your baby at home question, my bishop recently gave a fifth Sunday combined Relief Society and Priesthood lesson on what I can only describe as "Mysteries of the Handbook." One of the things he touched on was blessing your baby at home, which he said was mostly done in the case of unwed mothers who do not need the extra public attention. I do not know how wide-spread that sentiment is, but that is at least the case in our little slice of southern Utah County.

- Miz Beaver

Question #36912 posted on 06/16/2007 3:17 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Laffy Taffy. Sometimes they have some pretty crazy jokes! But I got this one in 10th grade, and then again this week, and I've never understood it. Help?

What kind of garden grows the most vegetables?
A flash garden!

- She

A: Dear her,

Haha!!! Oh wait. Yeah, that's not funny. It's so not funny, in fact, that it sparked national outrage. Really. Fox News broke the story here, and it was covered by different outlets (like Cnet here). The Willy Wonka company even held a press conference announcing the firing of their chief joke guy and requesting applications for a replacement (see here (and click "more" by the video description)).

Most people agree that the most likely explanation for the joke is a pun on Flash Gordon, but even knowing that, it doesn't make much sense. Perhaps you should apply for the job.

-=Optimus Prime=-
A: Dear She

This gives me a chance to share one of my favorite Laffy Taffy jokes of all time (and there are so many good ones vying for this honor):

Q: When is a car not a car?
A: When it turns into a driveway.


-Humble Master
Question #36908 posted on 06/16/2007 3:17 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I work as a pest control technician, and it seems that so very often when I come across a large fire ant mound, it's not in a nice dome shape. Rather, it looks like it has 1 or 2 ruts going through it. The rut may be about 2 inches wide and just cuts right through the entire length of the mound, leaving walls on either side. At first I thought that it was just where someone had walked on it or something, but I see it way too often to be a coincidence. And it's pretty much just on large ant mounds, not small ones. I know my description is only so good without a picture- sorry. But what's going on here?

-Doug Funnie

A: Dear Doug Funnie,

I'm sorry to tell you that out of the hundred or so images of fire ant mounds I found, not one featured a rut as a prominent feature. So, I'm guessing that it's not directly a feature of the mound, but rather from external source. My first guess would be a bike, as kids often ride their bikes all over the grass and very well might hit a fire ant mound without realizing it.

That said, though, if any of our readers has a better documented explanation, feel free to submit a comment.

Question #36906 posted on 06/16/2007 3:17 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How many semesters can one take at BYU before they start telling you to get out? I 8understand there'll be a hold at 120 credits but one can still do more...? Do they start kicking people out when they've had more than 5 years or ...?

Super-senior-wanna-be (maybe)

A: Dear SSWB,

They started nagging Mr. Nike when he reached 180 credits. Pretty sure that's when they tell you to get the heck out.

A: Dear wannabe,

I don't think there's a strict time limit imposed on completing your undergraduate education. If you have to take classes part time for several years because you're also working or raising a family, BYU's pretty sympathetic to that. I've known people who took 6 or 7 or 8 years to graduate under such circumstances, and I don't think BYU gave them any trouble since they weren't accumulating credits that quickly.

- Katya
A: Dear Saffron,

Once you've reach a certain amount of credits they start making you pay graduate tuition. Sounds like incentive to get out to me!

-Kicks and Giggles
Question #36894 posted on 06/16/2007 3:17 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I will be practically finished with school in December and my wife will be having a baby in January. I want to take a few really easy courses in the winter and walk at graduation in the spring. What courses would you suggest that are easy, GPA boosters?
- El embarrasado

A: Dear El embarrasado,

See Board Question #24126, Board Question #4913, Board Question #20428, Board Question #4084, Board Question #2097, Board Question #28622, Board Question #25461, Board Question #16027, and Board Question #35387.

Personally, I recommend Welsh 101A in the fall (2 credits) and Welsh 102 in the winter. That's 6 credits of easy A right there. A foreign language choir would be fun too, I think. And any 100 level dance or EXSC class should also be fairly easy and fun, although it won't boost your GPA like a language class would.


Question #36893 posted on 06/16/2007 3:17 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the classes freshman generally take? Are honors classes a good idea? I'm a little lost for my fall schedule, and I'm trying to get help from several different sources.

-Confused and Apprehensive about Fall Term

A: Dear Confused and Apprehensive,

The classes you take will depend on your major. If, like a lot of freshmen, you haven't picked a major yet, you'll probably want to take mostly GE classes, to get them out of the way while you figure out what you want to do with yourself. On the BYU website, you can find Major Academic Plans (MAPs) for every major, as well as one for open majors. MAPs basically tell you every class that you need to take for any particular major, and they suggest which classes you should take each semester.

That having been said, there are still a whole lot of choices for your GE classes, so after you've taken a look at your MAP, I suggest that you go here where you can find a short description of any class, and decide which ones sound the most interesting to you.

Additionally, if there's a major that you're considering, a lot of majors have a sort of 'introduction to the major' class, so you might want to try that out.

Don't forget to take something fun, too. I was an open major my first semester, and I took freshman English, American Heritage, Welsh, two dance classes, Book of Mormon, and my Arts GE, and it was just right.

I highly recommend taking American Heritage this fall, because Dr. Kimball is teaching it, and he is fantastic. Plus, if you ask for a tutor, you might get me. ;)

As far as honors classes are concerned, I've thoroughly enjoyed all the honors classes that I've taken (religion and biology). They had great teachers, and they seemed better organized and had less busywork than a lot of my other classes. For many more opinions about honors classes and the honors program, see Board Question #20477, Board Question #23883, Board Question #10770, and Board Question #1544.

I hope that helps you out, and I hope your freshman year is great.


Question #36880 posted on 06/16/2007 3:17 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the best underdog movie ever? I vote for Hoosiers, but if Hoosiers never existed, I'd go for Seabiscuit. You?

- Angry Smurf

A: Dear Angry Smurf

Rudy. In my book there is no competition (except maybe the first Rocky, but Rudy still wins). Every time I watch it man sweat drips out of my eyes. When he gets accepted to Notre Dame: man sweat. When he makes the practice squad: man sweat. When the crowd stands and chants his name: man sweat.

-Humble Master
A: Dear Arthur,

I also strongly agree with both Hoosiers and Rudy. Gosh those are great flicks. I think if neither of them existed I'd have to vote for Invincible, just because I'm a little biased towards that movie. Also, branching out beyond sports movies, how about <I>Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken or The Journey of Natty Gann? Sonora and Natty are pretty lovable underdogs, truly. Aw, nostalgia...

-Kicks and Giggles
Question #36763 posted on 06/16/2007 3:17 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Who was Ambrosia's terrible jogging teacher? Or was it at least not Nathan Black or James George?
(see Board Question #11377)

- seven or eight

A: Dear seven or eight,

My apologies--I don't remember my instructor's name. He didn't make much of a lasting impression. Neither of those names sounds familiar, though. Good luck.

Question #37002 posted on 06/16/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Regarding Board Question #36744 about LSAT prep classes, specifically BYU's:

If you are reasonably self-motivated, the BYU class is worth it for one reason alone: they give you a TON of real practice tests. These are 8 bucks apiece if you buy them direct from LSAC, so to pay $500 and get 40 of them already almost makes up the cost. Then add in the specialized instruction and Saturday labs and it really is a great deal.

- Queen Noor

Question #36910 posted on 06/16/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So I will be returning to BYU this fall and I will probably need a car. I was wondering if any Board writers or readers have leased AND purchased a car. Which was a better arrangement? I am inclined to think buying is better long term, but maybe leasing would be better for the remaining three years I will be at school? Also, if one were to lease, is it possible to negotiate a lower down payment, or are they usually pretty unbending?

- Duane Reade

A: Dear Duane,

I showed branflakes your question. This is what he said:
[branflakes]: hahaha
You see, once upon a time, branflakes and I went car shopping together. We got to the dealership at like 7-something p.m. and were there until like... 11:30 p.m. Mind you, they closed at 8:00 and I didn't end up buying anything. It was obviously a very fun experience for both of us.

In any event, I do know lots (and lots, and lots, and lots) about leasing. I figured I could give you the sales pitch they gave me. Ready?

Basically, leasing means that you're buying a portion of the car. The portion of the car that you buy depends on the term that you buy it for (i.e. 12 months, 24 months, 36 months, etc.). The longer you sign the lease for, the more car you buy. (I still don't quite get this part because they wanted to give me a loan for the whole car and were telling me I was buying "part" of the car... Hm.)

Now, there are a couple of leasing "myths" that I'd like to address.

(Actually, both of these are exactly what came to my mind.)

1. It's like renting.
Not so! When you rent an apartment, you're at a disadvantage because when you turn your keys in at the end of the contract, you're done, they're done, etc. You don't see anything of the rent you've been paying. When you're done leasing, you have three options. First, you can sell the car yourself. Once you sell it, all you'll do is walk into the bank and pay off the rest of your part and essentially buy their part. Two, you can trade it in. If you trade it in, it's just like selling it except you get a different car all in the same deal. Again, the bank gets their money and you get yours, if the car is worth more than what you bought it for. Three, you can keep it. If you decide to do this, you pay the bank whatever you owe them and you're done.

2. If you go over your miles, you're going to pay a ton in fees.
Only if you turn the car in at the end. If you do anything else, the miles you put on it don't matter at all.

Okay. Now there are a couple of advantages to leasing a car that I'd like to go over. First of all, you can always have a new car and it'll always be under warranty so you don't have to worry about paying for maintenance. Second, you can never be upside down on your payments (when you owe more than the car is worth) because you only bought a certain amount of the car. A lot of times people come in and they buy a car without wanting to pay anything down and they want us to roll the taxes and licensing right into the loan. That means that they're starting the loan upside down. (We (I?) made them draw lots of pictures of this part.) With leasing, you never have to worry about that.

Etc., etc., etc.

And then they'll take you out and show you the car that you're thinking about buying again. (branflakes will insist that I "almost bought a car that I had never driven" but obviously you shouldn't listen to him.)

Honestly, there are certain situations in which leasing a car is probably the better way to go. But I didn't do it. Mostly I decided not to because I don't want to always have a car payment.

As to buying a car, if you buy it, you take on all the responsibility of buying it. That means that you need to figure out how you can afford a car such that you're not going to end up being upside down on your payments. Either way there's going to be negotiating that goes on. Know that before you go and plan on negotiating the price, downpayment, term of the loan, etc. before you sign.

Anyway. Good luck with things. Email me if you have more questions. Oh, and also, if you want to buy my car, I'll totally sell it to you. It's actually pretty nice.

- Lavish
Question #36909 posted on 06/16/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you were to write a story which ended

And, just like that, with a few squirts of hand sanitizer, the Sweddish-born mullets were home.
how would that story go? Feel free to change punctuation and capitalization of that phrase to match your story.

- geico (who had this phrase enter werf's mind, felt it important enough to write down, and waits anxiously to learn its context)

A: Dear geico

The Terrific Tale of Stanley and Gerard, the Mullets Who Lived

Once upon a time two swedish weightlifters, Sven and Bob, made the terribly poor decision to grow mullets. If they had sought advice from any living creature, including the breeds of fish at the bottom of the ocean which have no eyes, they would have been warned that such a hair-do was a fashion faux pas on par with white socks with two red stripes worn with sandals. But alas, these foolish friends and roommates convinced each other that mullets were the sure-fire way to get the ladies.

What caused this obviously faulty conception of reality? It very likely stemmed from the fact that, as children, both Sven and Bob had been captured by aliens and experimented on (it is difficult to imagine that anything less-traumatic could possibly have inspired such mutated understandings of societal conceptions of beauty). Little did Sven and Bob know that this same alien abduction had left them with mutated bodies. Specifically, the aliens had, inadvertently, altered Sven and Bob's DNA in such a manner that their hair would gain sentience if it ever grew to a length exceeding three inches. Sven and Bob's normally conservative hair-styles had previously prevented such an occurrence. The decision to grow mullets was ill-fated for more than the obvious reasons.

Little did Bob and Sven know that as their hair lengthened it was gaining a life of its own. Soon the mullets had named themselves Stanley and Gerard. Now, despite the fact that they only owed their existence to manipulation of Sven and Bob's DNA by aliens who were not kindly to humans, Stanley and Gerard were peacefully minded towards humanity. They liked being attached to Sven and Bob's heads, they enjoyed the feeling of the wind when they ran.

But, unfortunately for Stanley, Sven did not bathe as often as he should. Nor, on those rare occasions when he did bathe, did he wash his neck. Soon the Stanley began to fear that if the neck was not cleaned an infection would form.

This fear motivated Stanley to begin experimenting with movement. When Sven was asleep Stanley would try to move independently. Eventually Stanley discovered that he could remove himself from Sven entirely, and reattach himself as well. Stanley scooted himself across the floor and over to Bob's room. He quick taught Gerard how to remove himself from Bob's scalp. Gerard, much like Stanley, was concerned about Bob's sanitation. The two mullets went off in search of something to clean and or sanitize their hosts' necks.

All they cold find were a couple bottles of hand sanitizer. They determined that they could use this, at least temporarily, to clean their hosts' necks, then reattach themselves in a cleaner, less stinky home. Stanley wished Gerard luck, and Gerard wished Stanley luck, and they returned to the respective hosts to attempt a hand-sanitizer neck-cleansing. These being extremely smart and capable mullets their plan was executed flawlessly.

And, just like that, with a few squirts of hand sanitizer, the Swedish-born mullets were home.

-Humble Master
Question #36907 posted on 06/16/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why in the world are sunburns from the beach so much worse than those from the lake? It seems that even when the same amount of time is spent in the sun, I still burn so much worse and longer when the burn was acquired at the beach? Why is this?

-Tae (and for the record, "the lake" usually means Lake Havasu, where there is never a shortage of sun)

A: Dear tea,

I looked this up to make sure, but when you're at the beach, the UV rays that cause sunburn are coming from above and from below, where they are being reflected off the sand. And while the water at the lake can also reflect UV rays, it only does so at certain angles. The sand does it all the time.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #36905 posted on 06/16/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

The Garden by Michael Mclean and Bryce Neubert.

Please does anyone know where there will be a performance of this production / play??

I have searched the internet over and over and have only found Michael McLean's website www.michealmcleanmusic.com but it doesn't give any information regarding a performance of "The Garden"

- Jess Vaughn

A: Dear Mr. Vaughn,

I sent your question onto Mr. Mclean himself and here's the response I got:


I just now got your email. I'm unaware of any productions of THE GARDEN scheduled in the future. There were a few at Easter Time around the country but I don't know of any in the future.

Michael McLean
There you go!

-Just Another Cassio
...admittedly a fan of some of Mr. Mclean's work.
Question #36903 posted on 06/16/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do any of you male writers find it sexy when a woman doesn't shave her armpits? For some reason I really like it, in an "Amazon" kind of way. Am I a freak?

Yea baby..

A: My dear,


Wow, that's just absolutely hilarious.

How 'bout it, guys?

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear Negativo Chico,

I think most-all body hair is repulsive. Yes, you are a freak.

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear Freak

(1) No (I have the same feelings about leg hair).
(2) Yeah, a little bit.

-Humble Master
A: Dear Freak~

I dated a sasquatch once. Not pretty.

Yeah, you're a freak.

Question #36902 posted on 06/16/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am currently reading the Old Testament cover to cover, but this time with the eyes and experiences of a 34 year old as compared to those of a 19 year old. To put it simply, I am greatly disturbed by what I'm reading. I have been raised on the story of Abraham and Isaac and how, at the last minute, God stopped Abraham from going through with the sacrifice of his son, for he just wanted to see where Abraham's heart was. I just read about Jephtha (Judges ch. 11) promising the Lord that he would sacrifice the first thing he saw on his doorstep at home if the Lord would deliver the Israelites from their enemies. In the end, Jephtha sacrifices his beloved daughter. How am I to reconcile these two stories? Are boys more beloved than girls in the eyes of the Lord? Are Latter-day Saints expected to accept the stories of the Old Testament literally? If we can discount certain parts of the Old Testament, why do we accept other stories? Because they don't clash with contemporary culture? I'd appreciate your bringing me some peace of mind.

A: Dear reader,

I'd like to bring up one important point. God was dealing and does deal with individuals, here. Of course he doesn't place males or females unequally in importance - but there is always, always more to the story. God understands each person and each situation implicitly, and each situation is going to be a little different - just because it looks the same from those few details, doesn't mean the situations in actuality are very alike at all. Why does God ever spare one and let another die - even right now. Say there are two mothers of a child with cancer. Both are praying for their child to live - one lives, one dies. Who knows. You have to keep that in mind when stories like this come up. That's really all I feel qualified to comment on here, and will leave the rest to other writers, but keep that point in mind.

A: Dear ,

Well, I hope your testimony isn't based off of what you read. Especially not the Old Testament. I don't think Latter-day Saints are taking advantage of the sick amount of resources poured down upon us. Time for me to rant

(RANT MODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The CES Manuals are the most amazing things in the world and it is a pity that almost no one in the church has ever touched them. They contain so many explanations and doctrines that we would never touch on in an actual church meeting (why do we take the sacrament with our right hand?) etc. Anyone who is trying to read through (especially) the Old Testament deserves to have the two manuals right next to him/her. AND you don't even have to buy them. They're free. They're online. Click here now. Enough said!

(End rant!)

First off, there is speculation as to whether or not she was actually sacrificed (if you want to know more, look it up in the manuals). I'll just give you the last line: "a prophetic historian could never have approved of a human sacrifice."

Second, no boys are not more important than girls. The Lord says he is "No respecter" of persons.

Third, we are not expected to understand everything literally. We are expected to search, ponder and pray. The rest of the answers will come with time.

Fourth, Discounting parts of the Old Testament (I assume you're talking about the Songs of Solomon?) . We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly.

Fifth, doctrine and contemporary culture have nothing to do with each other. We do not preach that which is popular. I think the first discussion where we declare the harsh truth that the LDS Church is the only church with authority in the entire world isn't very popular. After you say that a few children getting eaten by bears isn't that much harder to swallow.

-Castle in the Sky
Question #36901 posted on 06/16/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear Humble Master,
While reading Board Question #36731, I was highly amused by your choices of themes. While most seem simple enough to execute (a tiny monkey climbing around stealing guests' belongings, freezing a young child in carbonite, giving the birthday-werf an offer they can't refuse, etc), a birthday party, especially for a young child, that draws its inspiration from the writings of Emmanuel Kant sounds like a challenge. In fact, the mere idea of such a party baffles me. How would you suggest that one go about planning a birthday party for a young child that is based on the writings of Emmanuel Kant?
-The Chalice of Evil

A: Dear c,

Congratulations on your best question yet. :) That was fantastic.

A: Dear Chalice of Evil

Obviously there is only one logical path available to be trod here: the Kantian sublime. How would the kantian sublime be incorporated into children's parties? I'm glad you asked (sort of...that was a throwaway joke, the second one I've written in an answer that has come back to haunt me...actually it was a lot more fun to answer this question than I thought it would be going in).

Birthday themed around the Kantian sublime:

While the current understanding around the term sublime is informed by the fact that you can order shakes called "Lime Sublime" or others of similar ilk the origin of the term is far different. While Kant did say that "We call that sublime which is absolutely great" he wasn't really referring to a notably delightful flavor sensation. Kant's use of "great" to define the sublime was more along the lines of "incomprehensible" rather than "scrumptious and taste-tastic." Things like earthquakes, massive ocean swells, or even mountains (think Rocky Mountains, not Blue Ridge), which the mind can't really comprehend, are sublime. There should be a simultaneous feeling of delight and terror in the incomprehensibility of the object for it to be sublime (any readers who have different understandings of the sublime...feel free to have them, I study pop culture, not eighteenth century German philosophers).

So, how can there be a sublime children's birthday party? Fortunately small children are more likely to find things sublime than adults. I daresay science tricks (such as those practiced by Mr. Wizard (may he rest in peace) or Bill Nye the Science Guy) would be incomprehensible to a young child. There are lots of other options. Optical illusions: sublime. World's largest birthday cake: sublime. Building a lazy susan under the kid's bedroom so it can spin: sublime (but not terribly practical). A pig this big wandering around the back yard: sublime. Having a sculpture of a beaver this large: sublime.

So there it is. Several easily executed ideas about how to theme a child's birthday party around the writings of Kant.

-Humble Master
Question #36899 posted on 06/16/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the fashion "rules" regarding socks? I know you aren't supposed to wear white socks with slacks, but other than that, I am clueless. Do your socks have to match your pants, or your shoes, or neither or both?

Tryin' to be stylin'

A: My dear,

I had a really good friend in ninth grade who I could be radically silly with. One of the silly things we discussed was socks. We decided that it was a "major fashion faux pas" to wear socks that do not match your shirt, unless you are just wearing white socks.

Now, as I said, this was basically just silliness. And it should be noted that at the time, all my socks were white. Nowadays, it's rare for my socks to match ANYTHING I'm wearing, though they usually match each other.

But as for real socks-rules, I would say with slacks, wear socks that somewhat match the color of the slacks. For example, brownish socks with a brown suit, bluish socks with a blue suit. If you are wearing a colored-ish suit with black shoes, I think you can wear black socks.

If you're wearing purple alligator-pattern shoes, I think the color of socks you wear is not important. No one will notice the socks anyway.

Um, and I can't think of any case where socks will look good with sandals. If you're aware of this and choose to do it anyway...I'm okay with that. Really, I just can't stand ignorant bad fashion. If you know you look stupid, I'm free to laugh at you! (And, I feel compelled to tell you that I do it—though I didn't go out like this—it was cold, okay?!)

Shorts usually look better with socks that are not black or another dark color.

I think those are the only rules I can come up with. The problem with trying to assign rules is that socks really should be decided on a case-by-case basis. If you were to come to me with an outfit, I could help you more specifically.

I love socks.

- The Defenestrator
Question #36898 posted on 06/16/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you ever see shapes in the carpet? What kind of shapes do you see?

- spaced it

A: Dear,

Yes, in the carpet, the clouds, ceilings, walls, bark, dirt, grass, anything with irregularities. Though I see all kinds of things, mostly I see cartoon-type characters. In fact, as a child, I used to think I could become a rich and famous cartoonist, if only I could capture the cartoons wherever I went. Who needs inspiration when they're all right there, ready-made?

-Uffish Thought
A: My dear,

Not so much in the carpet, but the linoleum in the bathrooms in my house definitely has some neat shapes. Once, there was a fallen hair that combined with the random lines to form a perfect, beautiful face. It was fascinating.

- The Defenestrator