"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #37192 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

RE Board Question #37080: Just a side comment on the money for ring saving. Since you are planning, let me add another planning tip. I'm also in the same situation as you. I realize that a ring is a BIG purchase and something which needs to be saved for. I would recommend that you put your savings for a ring in an investment. No one is positive how long before they'll need to buy one, so to have so much money laying around - in a piggy bank, savings account, or other minimal return financial storage - is less productive. I recommend putting the money into a money market account or a save portfolio. ING Direct is a great resource for this type of savings. (They return 4-5% annually.) This can allow you to purchase an even nicer ring than originally planned OR have a little extra side cash to make the giving of the ring a little more special.

Sincerely and unashamed of having thought that far,

Question #37173 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Re: Board Question #36994

I am in a very similar situation, except I'm the wife. My husband works from home, so I have to constantly remind myself that he's not available to chat and play. But I can say this, from the wife's point of view: I know my husband loves me. But sometimes, when I need attention and don't get it from him, or when I feel like a low priority to him, I just don't feel loved. And it hurts.

I think that's pretty common among wives. Sometimes it's just me being selfish, and I need to get over it. But other times, it's completely legitimate and I really appreciate it when he's perceptive enough to realize that, and willing enough to step away from his computer (or stay up later) to give five minutes of his time to take care of me. It's not just wasting five minutes, if your wife is really in need. It's an investment of your time.

- Neapolitan

Question #37146 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Board,

In response to (^37031), I would like to report that I visited the Studio Ghibli Museum in Tokyo last week and had an excellent time. I even took my picture with a giant statue of those robot things from Castle In the Sky (I was going to post a link, but Tangerine convinced me to keep my identity secret for now. I guess I only have so much time for dating women and fighting men). Anyway, I was a bit shocked and dismayed to hear the Castle in the Sky watches dubbed Miyazaki films. My friends and I turn on the English audio track just to give ourselves the willies from how terrible it is, then quickly put it back to the original and correct Japanese audio track. For those of you who plan on seeing Miyazaki films, I highly recommend English subtitles over dubbing. And if you really want to enjoy it, learn Japanese so you can pick up on all of the subtleties that don't make it through the translation.

- bismark, who is in love with Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away

A: Dear bismark,

"Anyway, I was a bit shocked and dismayed to hear the Castle in the Sky watches dubbed Miyazaki films. "

Thanks bismark, that statement made me laugh on so-many levels. For your own personal safety I'll have you know that the ONLY Miyazaki film I enjoy watching dubbed is Howl's Moving Castle because, even though the voices are not perfect, it is the best dubbed Japanese movie I've seen. Period.

As far as my favorite Miyazaki film (Castle in the Sky for those who weren't sure).. I can't allow myself to watch it in English much. Though I have permitted it. Even with Mark Hamill doing the voice over for Muska just the thrill of hearing Pazu and Sheeta scream each other's names in Japanese ALONE is enough to convince me that dubbed is not the way to go.

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear bismark,

I agree with you in theory about dubbing vs. subtitles, but the dubbed version of Howl's Moving Castle has Christian Bale as Howl. You really can't compete with that.

- Katya
Question #37143 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Could you tell me how/when/where/why peanut butter was invented? Also, when did people start eating pbj sandwiches?

- Loves PB, Not PBJ

A: Dear why not?

Huh, who knew peanut butter had such a long history? So who invented it? Lots of people. And, despite what I distinctly remember being taught in elementary school, George Washington Carver was not one of them (I can't believe I was taught lies in the public education system).

First, let us see what peanutbutterlovers.com has to say on the subject matter:
There are many claims about the origin of peanut butter. Africans ground peanuts into stews as early as the 15th century. The Chinese have crushed peanuts into creamy sauces for centuries. Civil War soldiers dined on 'peanut porridge.' These uses, however, bore little resemblance to peanut butter as it is known today.
From this site about The History of Peanut Butter:
Peanut butter was invented and reinvented many times during history. Peanuts were known as early as 950 B.C. and originated in South America. The ancient Incas used peanuts and were known to have made it into a paste-like substance.
And from the Wikipedia page about peanut butter:
In 1890, George A. Bayle Jr. began to sell ground peanut paste as a Vegetarian protein supplement for people with bad or no teeth. In 1893, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg originated an early variety of peanut butter at the Battle Creek Sanitarium in Battle Creek, Michigan. Kellogg, along with his brother, W.K. Kellogg, patented a process for making peanut butter in 1895, but it used steamed peanuts rather than roasted peanuts. Contrary to popular belief, the renowned botanist George Washington Carver had no hand in inventing this food.
And, who invented the PB&J? Well...one of the organizations responsible for far more inventions and scientific breakthroughs than we like to give them credit for: the United States Military.
Both peanut butter and jelly were packed with United States Army K-rations in World War II. The combination proved so popular that returning GIs made peanut butter and jelly a standard American food.

-Humble Master
Question #37140 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why do lightbulbs almost always burn out right when you flip the switch to turn them on? I mean, what do they have just enough power until you turn them off and then just decide to die the next time they're turned on? It doesn't seem to make sense....

- Duane Reade

A: Dear DR,

I've always wondered about that too. I asked a physics professor about this one, and here was his answer (which makes a lot of sense to me):

The filament inside the light bulb expands (gets longer) when it gets hot. When you turn it on, it obviously gets hot very quickly. When the bulb is new this isn't a problem; however, with time the metal of the filament evaporates because it's so hot. The filament gets thinner and thinner, and eventually the sudden expansion when you turn on the light bulb breaks the filament and it burns out.

—Laser Jock
Question #37139 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Ok so this will sound kinda gross, but sometimes well after I'm done eating (like several hours after) I get these weird chunks of food that come up my throat. There's usually only one little chunk (about the size of candy Nerd) and it tastes like it's been decaying for awhile (ugh the thought just makes me shudder). I normally would think I burped them up, but again it happens several hours after I have eaten and I don't recall burping right before. They just kinda show up all of a sudden. Do you know what I'm talking about and why it occurs?

- Duane Reade (p.s. kudos if you know where/what I am)

A: Dear Duane,

I almost bought two movies from you last week.

I resisted.

A: Dear DR,

I know what you're talking about; it's happened to me before. Icky. I'm guessing they're just little bits of undigested food that travel back up your throat to eventually get released from your system - but why, I don't know.

I know you're in NYC because I've seen Ben on "Cash Cab" drive past you many times. But I don't know what you are.

A: Dear DR and Nike,

I think what you're talking about is actually covered in Board Question #21592 and Board Question #21720. Basically, it's not food coming up your throat (otherwise you would be tasting bile too). They're actually coming from the little pockets on the outside of your tonsils. Those little chunks go by a variety of names, the most common of which seems to be "tonsil cheese." (Great name, huh?) Anyway, check out those links for quite a bit more information.

—Laser Jock
A: My dear,

Hey, me too! Tonsilitis concretions, mmmm!

- The Defenestrator
Question #37136 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie whose title I cannot for the life of me recall/find, a group of scientists transport him from the past. He uses the restroom, and tells them there was no toilet paper, just two seashells. They then laugh at him becuase he doesn't know how to use the seashells.

What movie was this? And how DO you use the seashells?

- Sparkle and Leroy

A: Dear Sparkly,

The movie is Demolition Man, starring Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes (not Ahhhhhhnold), and it's actually three seashells.

Using the seashells is meant to be a running gag in the show and the joke would be ruined if they explained how the seashells are used. However, if you really want to know, Stallone explains it here:
"...it was explained to me by the writer is you hold two seashells like chopsticks, pull gently and scrape what's left with the third. ..."
I think I'll stick to toilet paper, thanks.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #37135 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Last summer, I dated a guy from Wales, and we fell in love. At the end of the summer, he had to go back to wales and i had to go back to where I'm from, so his solution was to ask me to marry him. I said no, because 1) we were both 19 and 2) he is not a member. It broke both our hearts.

He then proceeded to ignore me for 3 months and send me a chain of not-very-nice emails. I realize that that is just his way of dealing with things, so I can't hold it against him, but I still find myself wishing I had said yes, simply becuase it's LONELY out here.

So I guess my question is: does it ever get better? Or are we all doomed to pine for eternity?

- Sparkle and Leroy, who thinks that whoever said "'tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all" should try it

A: Dear s&l,

Oh, boy. It so, so, so does get better. I was close-ish myself to the whole M-word, at one point, and while it took me a good year (coughplusafewmonthscough) to get over it, I did, indeed, get over it.

Since that time, I've watched a bunch of people go through similar situations. I'd say a year is about average for the most serious, although there are some people who take far less time than that, for one reason or another. A year after my afore-mentioned incident, I nearly tried to go back to the kid. (It didn't help that it was Christmas - yeah, lonely.) Obviously, it didn't work out. A few months later, between dating other people, seeing how different he and I had become, and the weather warming up, I think I could safely say I was 100% over the incident. (So, all told, about a year and a half.) The point of this section is to tell you not to beat yourself up (if you are) for not being over it yet. That'll come at your own pace.

They say time heals all wounds; I contend that time+re-allotment of energy heals all wounds.

What are you doing with your mind? Pining, as you said? Do you still talk to him a lot? Do you have other guys around you that you could even be casually interested in? How about a solid group of friends? A good library? A gym?

Take these things into consideration. Call me in the morning.

A: Dear I'm-not-writing-all-that

I'm hoping someone else will answer your questions because... I'm not going to.

Here's my advice: never settle. I'd rather be lonely, and half-dead in a gutter than with someone who didn't treat me like a child of God. Don't waste your energy on him. You don't need to "pine for all eternity" because if you would've married the guy you couldn't be with him for all eternity. Period.

And, if he's sending you not-so-nice emails, he's not worth your time.

Lastly, you're young. You're 20-21 and you have many years to date. So relax. You'll find a man.

-Castle in the Sky will have a temple marriage
A: Dear Sparkly~

Pining causes pain. I won't comment on the logistics of your situation, because I think you're clever enough to work them out. However, let me join in with Castle in the Sky by saying that if the guy sent you a chain of nasty emails, you can and should hold it against him, because that is unacceptable behavior, especially to one who was formerly a significant other. I'd say you deserve better, but it would be more accurate to say that everyone deserves better, and if this guy's too stupid to have figured out how to treat a girl, he needs to cook for awhile longer before he gets married.

However that's not why I wanted to post an answer to you. Rather, I just wanted to tell you that I've also felt the agony of pining, and Olympus is right, it doesn't go away with time, it goes away with effort (which takes time). You need to decide to move on, and really do so.

Um, apparently you know who I am, so we'll have a heart-to-heart over some delicious Word-of-Wisdom approved tea, if you want.

Question #37134 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I realize that I am a pansy, but I was born that way, okay?

Let's just preface my question by saying that I attract complete skeezeballs, and that it is just inherent in my nature to not realize that they are skeezeballs until they actually do something skeezeball-ish.

Here is my problem. (It qualifies as a problem becuase this is NOT a one - time thing. This has happened multiple times.) I go on dates with these guys, and then they suprise attack my face, and start kissing me. Now, my nature is such that I would much rather just deal with it for a while than say no and have them get angry at me and yell, but that makes me feel easy and used. I have never quite gotten the confidence to actually say NO. Any tips (besides the obvious "don't be a pansy", because I've tried that and it hasn't worked out.)

Confused and Ashamed (and wants all board writers to know that she is NOT easy, just timid)

- Anonymous

A: Dear Low Self Esteem,

Why are you going on a date with anyone you feel would " get angry at [you] and yell" at you? Sounds like your standards on dating are a little low. You deserve better than that. Don't go on dates with creepy guys who are just in it for action. That's my advice.

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear Nonny,

Make it clear that you have physical boundaries they are not allowed to cross. Don't get close enough for these guys to "surprise attack" you in the first place! Avoid giving them any physical clues that you want that kind of interaction, and that should scare most of them off from kissing you since they won't have the guts to do it.

A: Dear Gertrude,

If you don't want a guy to kiss you, pull away or move your face when you surprise attacks your face. That shouldn't be a big deal. If they're like "what's wrong?" (because that will be their reaction, not getting angry), just tell them you don't really want to make out/kiss/whatever. No big deal. Good luck!

-Kicks and Giggles
A: My dear,

Maybe I'm repeating what's already been said, but don't "just deal with it for a while." If you don't want a guy to kiss you, stop him right away. By letting him kiss you, you're sending a message that it's okay with you. Don't send the message if you don't mean it.

I mean, I'm not good with subtle stuff, but I'd say that one's pretty blatant.

Um, and don't feel too bad. I think I pretty much know how you feel, here.

- The Defenestrator
A: Dear Anon~

I don't really consider myself socially weak-willed, so unfortunately I can't empathize with you too effectively, there. Additionally, I'm a guy, so if any kissing action is going to go on, I'm usually the instigator.

With that introduction, I read your question like this: "Dear 100 Hour Board, I have no willpower to say `no,' so how do I say `no'?"

I'm not trying to be offensive, but that's the fact. If you're unwilling to tell boys "no", get yourself into the right state of mind where you can do so, and thank your lucky stars that it hasn't gotten you into worse trouble yet.

First of all, don't feel obligated to agree to a date. If the guy is sleazy, then you're evidently not his type, so going on a date with him is a waste of your time as well as his. If a guy attacks your face on the first date, he's insane, and desperately needs someone to tell him "no." You get the unfortunate task of being that person, so tough it out and do what you're supposed to do.

In other words, you're a pansy. So stop being one.

However, I do want to sincerely compliment you on the terms "skeezeball" and "attacking my face", which I now intend to include in my everyday speech.

Question #37129 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I am trying to buy an inexpensive MP3 player ($100 cap) and am overwhelmed by options in the electronics world. I just want one that is easy to use, plays music from my CD's and online sites, and FM music would be a nice perk. The sites I have looked to for advice do not agree on the quality of different players. I have read reviews on circuitcity.com, cnet.com, and amazon.com. I can't even get a feel for what brands are better (Creative, SanDisk, ipod, etc).

How did you choose your MP3 (or ipod) player? What advice do you have for someone who is technologically challenged but wants a portable music device?

~ Rincewynd

A: Dear Rincewynd,

Easy to use? Check
Plays music ripped from cds? Check
Online Sites? ....
FM Music? ...

I never chose one, I got mine as a gift. But... I'm a tech junkie (computer engineering major) so here's my advice:

Get something with a screen, preferably an iPod. Why? Because it's the standard. Which means most compatibility, support, and accessories. They're made well, last a long time, and are just nice. No, they're not perfect but they are dang good. It's easy to use and plays music ripped from cds (ripped from iTunes). You can get an FM accessory. There are even "iPod Socks." Yes, you heard right.

Now, time for a quick lowdown on the online world of music shopping. In order to prevent piracy and control the masses the music industry requires DRM (Digital Rights Management) technology to be built into every single song that you buy online. This means if you buy a song off Apple's store it only plays on Apple's iPods and iTunes. However, that's about to change. EMI just went DRM-free. You pay $.30 more a song and you get a song that can be played on any mp3 player. Amazon.com will also start selling music later this year.

The one guarantee of an iPod is this: since everyone has one it will be supported. That's a good enough reason for me.

That said, you have a price range so.. shop around and I'm sure you can find an iPod Nano for under $100. I just checked eBay and found one for $78.

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear Wind Rinser,

This is a tall order to fill. I'm not much of a music listener, so I opted to go the cheap route over the cool route. A year or two ago I bought a Rave MP3 Sport like this one (but with more internal memory) for running. It was cheap, had long battery life and came with an armband. More recently I got this mp4 player to watch movies on, but I wouldn't recommend it for the music lover. There are better players for just music. Also, it's extremely generic and has no tech support and it took me several days to figure out how to convert video correctly to play on it. I bought it because it's tiny, cool looking, and I don't have to use any proprietary software with it.

So as you might be able to tell, I tend to lean towards generic players. The biggest thing for me is that it has to be plug & play. I want a player I can plug in, have it pop up as a drive, and drag music files into without any extra software. If it does that, it usually doubles as a flash drive, too, and you can store Word files or PDFs or whatever you want on there.

Some other things you might want to consider:
  • Menu System - does it organize by artist, title, genre, etc?
  • Battery life - built-in rechargeable or AAA, etc?
  • Screen or no screen
  • Easy to navigate interface?
  • Will it play your files? (iTunes w/ DRM, etc)
  • Do you want FM radio?
  • How much internal memory does it have?
  • Does it have an expansion slot for SD cards?
So it's up to you. I really don't know which brands are better than others, but I've used ipods before and from your description it sounds like that's what you want. Personally I just couldn't bring myself to be an ipod owner because like everything Apple they assume you could never want anything but what they offer. But the ones with screens have a very nice interface, they works great with downloads from iTunes, and like Castle said, the accessories and support are ubiquitous.

Good luck.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #37127 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear Hobbes,

How many trips to the School of Accountancy does it take a writer to meet the ever-so-gorgeous and oh-so-humble secretary with the Jelly Bellies on her desk?

-lekker lekker

P.S. Tangerine, when do you get back? I'm totally up to making cheesecake anytime at a moment's notice.

A: Dear lekker lekker~

By my current count: five. Each more delicious than the last. I got chocolates last time I showed up.

I told you: bribery is effective.

Hey, don't tell anyone who I am, right? Thanks.

As for Tangerine, a slight Board technicality is going to make it so she's not going to see this question, which is unfortunate, but I'll answer for her: She will get back in the Fall. Exactly when? I dunno. Maybe someone else does.


PS. Actually, maybe she will get a chance to stick a plug on this question. We'll just have to see. I need to figure out the nuts 'n bolts of the Board better.
Question #37125 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

A lot of prophets from times past have stated that a "living prophet's" words are more important than the words of a "dead prophet."

Now, here is a hypothetical situation: what if the living prophet of our church told us that the words of the dead prophets are more important than the words of the living prophet? Which one would we give more heed to then? The living prophet, who says to listen to the dead prophets more? Or the dead prophets who say listen to the living prophet more?

- BOOM! *The sound of of my head 'sploding*

A: Dear Sonic Boom,

Simple: wait a week. The Lord will not allow the leaders of the church to lead us astray.

Thank you "Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet" by Elder Ezra Taft Benson February 26, 1980

"Third: The living prophet is more important to us than a dead prophet.

The living prophet has the power of TNT. By that I mean "Today's News Today." God's revelations to Adam did not instruct Noah how to build the ark. Noah needed his own revelation. Therefore, the most important prophet, so far as you and I are concerned, is the one living in our day and age to whom the Lord is currently revealing His will for us. Therefore, the most important reading we can do is any of the words of the prophet contained each week in the Church Section of the Deseret News, and any words of the prophet contained each month in our Church magazines. Our marching orders for each six months are found in the general conference addresses, which are printed in the Ensign magazine.

I am so grateful that the current conference report is studied as part of one of your religion classes--the course entitied "Teachings of the Living Prophets," number 333. May I commend that class to you, and suggest that you get a copy of the class manual at your bookstore, whether you're able to take the class or not. The manual is entitled "Living Prophets for a Living Church."

Beware of those who would pit the dead prophets against the living prophets, for the living prophets always take precedence.

Fourth: The prophet will never lead the Church astray.

President Wilford Woodruff stated: "I say to Israel, The Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as president of the Church to lead you astray. It is not in the program. It is not in the mind of God." (The Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, selected by G. Homer Durham [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1946], pp. 212-213.)

President Marion G. Romney tells of this incident, which happened to him:

I remember years ago when I was a Bishop I had President [Heber J.] Grant talk to our ward. After the meeting I drove him home....Standing by me, he put his arm over my shoulder and said: "My boy, you always keep your eye on the President of the Church, and if he ever tells you to do anything, and it is wrong, and you do it, the Lord will bless you for it." Then with a twinkle in his eye, he said, "But you don't need to worry. The Lord will never let his mouthpiece lead the people astray." [In Conference Report, October 1), p. 78]

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear Headless Boardsman,

In that case, the prophet would be instructing us not to heed that particular counsel, since dead prophets have told us to listen to the current prophet. So he would in effect be saying "This advice that I'm giving you right now isn't actually at all applicable."

This would, of course, be a very strange thing to hear a prophet say, so I'd be looking for someone with a gun to his back or something. Though really, even that hasn't stopped prophets in the past from delivering their message. I think we've been instructed to pay attention to living prophets because the Lord knows that they won't put us in nice philosophical conundrums like this one. So really, it's kinda a moot point.

Interesting thought, though.

Question #37120 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm trying to make dinner for a guy that I'm dating, and while normal people freak out about what to make, I've got that covered. He wants me to make him a Russian dinner (which is another story entirely) but the problem is, I have no idea how MUCH to make. He's 6'5" (and skinny as a rail) and to give you a slight indication of his stomach capacity, the last time he had dinner with my family he had 8 hot dogs - with the buns. He wasn't being rude, he really was that hungry, and my mom was happy that there weren't left-overs.

I suppose I'm just afraid that I'll make too little, and he'll go home politely, though secretly starving. What should I do?

Oh, and Russian cuisine includes a LOT of potatoes, if that's helpful at all.


A: Dear Cricket,

Make too much then you don't have to worry. Us skinny guys can eat a lot sometimes (see the five-foot-something guy that downed over fifty hot dogs in one sitting! Craziness!). I'm sure SOMEONE would be glad to finish off the leftovers for you. :)

If you can't find anyone, email me at castle (dot) in (dot) the (dot) sky @ theboard.byu.edu.

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear Cricket~

Is there some reason you're not taking the obvious course of action and making too much food? You could ask him, I suppose, how much he eats, but that really seems to go beyond what is necessary.

However, clearly this is a really classy guy, if he requested Russian cuisine. I will happily take care of whatever leftovers plague you.

~Hobbes, who doesn't really think Russian cuisine is all that good, but loves it on principle.
Question #37117 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Is the Scarlett Pimpernel being still being performed, and if so, where is nearest performance?

If not, can it be found on DVD?

- Bumbling Blakely

A: Dear George,

Amazon has it on DVD.

-Kicks and Giggles
A: Dear Bumbling Blake[ne]y,

I assuming you're referring to productions of the 1997 Broadway musical. According to this site, the show will be performed by the Payson Community Theatre in August/September 2007.

- Katya
Question #37116 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the evolutionary advantages of armpit hair? It doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to me, but there must be some sort of advantage to it, because the armpit-hairy clearly won out over the armpit-hairless.


- Transatlantic Drawl.

A: My dear,

*commence sarcasm*

Hair in the armpits is clearly very useful. Firstly, it traps odor, which historically helped to scare away wild animals that otherwise would have attacked. Secondly, it encourages people to be more modest—sleeves, anyone? Finally (and most importantly), it provides ornamentation for a part of the body that otherwise would be absolutely boring. Think about that. The midriff has the belly button, the fingers have fingernails, and so forth. What does the armpit have going for it, really? So it gets this thing that looks like a bush! What an improvement!

*end sarcasm*

- The Defenestrator

Oh, and one more thing. So this guy can be attracted to someone! :)
A: Dear Transatlantic Southerner,

First of all, I don't believe in man's evolution and I certainly don't believe that armpit-hairy individuals "won out" in some "Space Odyssey" like battle.

Armpit hair CLEARLY wins on its own accord.

I don't think The Defenestrator really explained any of the REAL advantages of having armpit hair (such as chafing protection). But, I think she made her point clear enough: armpit hair is great!

First, adding to The Defenestrator's thoughts , what's an armpit also known as? A PIT. Yes, people call them pits (I don't know why but that's always bothered me). And, seriously, who wants to be thrown into a pit with nothing else there? That's like walking into a desert with no oasis or the moon of Endor without Ewoks! Ludicrous! There has to be something there to help the armpit rise above and surpass the mediocrity of being "just a pit."

Second, armpit hair gives people jobs and puts kids through college! Imagine how many razor blades and such are sold to keep those armpits silky smooth. If the whole world were to switch back to a "natural" state unemployment rates would skyrocket!

Third, think about tanning! How much sun does your armpit actually get? NONE! So, you get some extra hair to add life and color to an otherwise boring region.

I think that says it all. :)

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear Briton~

From my extensive knowledge of evolution (nil), I would think that hair usually wins out over no hair, at least in land-based animals.

Why aren't we covered in thick, armpit-like hair? Beats me.

Question #37115 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

The man who revised the Hippocratic Oath to what it is today was named Dr. Louis Lasagna. What's the funniest food last name/occupation you can think of? e.g. A psychiatrist named Dr. Fruitcake or a tax preparer named Mr. Fudge.

- J K FlipFlop

A: Dear J K

I'm starting us off on the wrong foot by not even mentioning a food here...but it is a funny name/occupation thing. An acquaintance told me they were watching Jay Leno's headlines segment, and there was an ad recommending you go and get a physical exam with Dr. Will Tickle (they assure me this was not made up).

-Humble Master
A: Dear HuMaster,

Will Tickle is better than this.

Dear J K gnilwoR,

How about:
  • Computer support: Mr. Spam
  • Marriage counselor: Mrs. Cantaloupe
  • Brain surgeons: Dr. Melon & Dr. Noodle
  • Bodybuilder: Mr. Beefcake
  • E.R. Surgeon: Dr. G. Beef
  • Actress: Ms. Honey Ham
  • Psychic: Mrs. Bologna
  • Hit man: Mr. Beet
  • Boxer: Mr. F. Punch
  • Psychiatrists: Dr. Bananas & Dr. Nuts
  • Personal Injury Lawyers: Mr. Bread & Mr. Butter
-=Optimus Prime=-

Question #37114 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In a game of chess, when white makes it's opening move, does any move make black have less ways to win than white?


A: Dear equator,

The official answer is: nobody knows.

The theoretical answer is: probably, with an extremely small chance of the probabilities being equal.

The reason chess has stayed such a popular game is because of the astronomical number of possibilities for each game. Of course, the possibilities are more limited at the beginning, which is why opening moves are a major focus of becoming a good chess player, but it is still widely disputed which opening is the best. Hundreds of openings have been mapped out and named, but picking one is a matter of preference rather than science.

The reason is that once you get a few moves into the game (as much as you can memorize, at least), the number of possible outcomes from that point is still so large we don't even have names for numbers that big. Theoretically, all possible scenarios could be mapped out, but doing so would take eons. This page doesn't explain it well, but gives some possible numbers.

As an alternate answer to your question, the most popular openings are based on moving the white king's pawn forward two spaces (which is normally countered by the corresponding black king's pawn being moved forward two spaces). There are literally encyclopedias of information about this if you want to learn more.

Personally, I have chessboards because I like the way they look. I rarely play.

-=Optimus Prime=-
A: Dear Equation

To quote the musical Chess:

Each game of chess means there's one less
Variation left to be played
Each day got through means one or two
Less mistakes remain to be made

(not strictly true, but it's still a great musical).

-Humble Master
Question #37113 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the mathematical probability that this exact sentence has ever been formed by anyone else in the history of the world?


- J K FlipFlop

A: Dear Just Kidding,

What is the mathematical probability that this exact sentence has ever been formed by anyone else in the history of the world?


-Castle in the Sky
Question #37112 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

have any of you ever tried to learn a language by tape or CD? I have taken a year of French and would like to continue learning on my own. Any recommendations?


A: Dear personnage mysterieux,

I don't have experience learning a language entirely from CDs or tapes, but the good folks at Amazon recommend the SmartFrench Audio CDs. You can buy both beginner and intermediate/advanced versions.

Bonne chance!

- Katya
Question #37109 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

It's wonderful to see the Board is still here! I haven't checked in for awhile...

My question is this: I was watching a VH1 love songs special, and I saw a Bon Jovi video that looked like it went with a movie, but I couldn't find the movie. It looked to be early 1990's, with Keri Russell (back when she had long, frizzy hair). It also had a dark-haired attractive actress, and then two different long-haired guys. The plot looked a bit like the dark-haired girl and one of the guys hooked up, then she caught him with Keri Russell, so she went to the other guy for comfort. The first guy shows up, and then at the end of the video the second guys' apartment blows up, with the dark-haired girl inside.

It's not astro-physics, or the meaning of life, but it's been bugging me that I can't figure out what it's called or who the other actress is. I know that leaving this in the oh-so-capable hands of the Board is the smartest thing to do!

- p.j.

A: Dear p.j.

The music video in question is for the song "Always" which was originally written for the soundtrack of the film Romeo is Bleeding. However, the band saw the film, disliked it, and decided not to allow the song to be used in the soundtrack. Later, the song was released on the band's Cross Roads album, and the music video was filmed (the video did have Keri Russell in it, but was not related to any film).

-Humble Master
A: Dear pajamas,

To answer the other part of your question, the other actress is most likely Carla Gugino.

-=Optimus Prime=-
Question #37107 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you're at a green light about to make a left turn, there's no left-turn arrow, and there is a continuous stream of cars coming in the opposite direction preventing you from immediately making the turn, is it legal to enter the intersection, wait for the light to turn red, and then make the turn? Growing up in Utah, I always assumed it was, because that's what everybody does. It makes sense, because otherwise you could be stuck at that intersection for eons, waiting for the oncoming traffic to ease up. Then I came to Boise, where, for some strange reason, the natives will not enter an intersection to turn left unless they're clear to turn. In fact, the other day some schmo had the nerve to honk at me because I was in the intersection when the light changed.

So is there an official law concerning this situation, or what?

- Deep Gimshee

A: Dear George,

In the state where I learned how to drive, the law states that if you have begun your turn and are in the intersection waiting to complete the turn when the light turns red, you can finish your turn. It's called aggressive turning if you start your turn before there is an opening for you and wait in the middle of the turn for a spot to go. If you take too long hanging out in the intersection before you finish your turn, I can understand people getting upset at you, but if you go quickly it should be fine. It's not uncommon (where I come from) for people to do aggressive turning, so I guess maybe it might just be less common in certain areas and that's where other drivers would get upset.

As I said, it's legal in my home state to use aggressive turning when trying to turn left, but it may not be legal in other states. Traffic laws differ state to state, so there's no way of knowing what you should do when you go to a different area unless you check up on their traffic laws before you go. If you don't know what the law is, it's best to follow the patterns of the drivers around you: when in Boise, do as the Boisians (?) do.

-Kicks and Giggles, whose mom is the best driver ever and taught her about aggressive turning
Question #37106 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

The other day while perusing an old census record, I noticed a set of twins named Roy and Ray. What are the best/worst twin names you can come up with?

- hannah or hagar or hepzibah

P.S. Props for anyone who knows why I was perusing a census record. I generally do it twice a week. :)

A: Dear Confused About Their Name,

I like Julia Roberts, but Hazel and Phinnaeus are pretty bad.

I'm guessing you were looking through census records for family history reasons.

A: Dear h,

I had great-uncles named Merril and Errol. Also, I kind of like Holly and Ivy for twins born at Christmas.

- Katya
A: Dear Nike,

WHAT?! I love those names!!

Dear Millie,

I know an Ally and Abby. I kind of think a Mary and Martha set would be a bad choice, but I don't know one; just a Molly and Martha set. I actually really like their names. I think something like Alexis and Alexander would be bad, too. In my opinion, the best way to name twins is to just name them like any other babies. Why do they have to rhyme and all that junk? Have you heard the names that Patrick Dempsey and his wife picked for their twin boys? I can't remember what they are off the top of my head, but I really really like them. So if you hear what they are, that's a good choice of names in my book.

-Kicks and Giggles

A: Dear hepzibah

Comic book geeks will get more pleasure out of this list than anyone else:

Peter and Parker, Clark and Kent, Bruce and Wayne, Reed and Richard, Barry and Alan, Steve and Roger, Jason and Todd, Hal and Jordan, Eddie and Brock, Simon and William, Thomas and Blake (those last two were pretty darn obscure...I'm a little embarrassed that I know them (especially the last one)).

-Humble Master
A: Dear Kicks and Giggles,

Patrick Dempsey's children's names are Darby Galen and Sullivan Patrick, who are the twins, and Tallulah Fyfe.

And really...Phinnaeus?

A: Dear,

If I ever have twin boys, I will be strongly tempted to name them Claude and Eustace, the name of Bertie Wooster's conniving twin cousins. Man, I love P.G. Wodehouse. Heh. Perhaps I should name them Pelham and Grenville, instead!

-Uffish Thought
A: Dear Nike,


-Kicks and Giggles
A: Dear Humble Master,

What about Selena and Kyle or Barbara and Gordon?

- Katya
A: Dear Katya

Oooooh...impressive. Let's not forget Scott and Summer, Stan and Lee, Jack and Kirby (the last two are in a different category...but still comic book related).

-Humble Master
Question #37105 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Cosmo Kramer, Cosmo Brown, or Cosmo the Cougar?

- cosmo girl

A: Dear girl,

Cosmo the Cougar, for sure.

Why? Because a) I like to root for BYU, and b) I don't know who the other two are. (I kid you not.)

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Thrice Cosmo,

Are you kidding? The Cougar!

A: Dear girl

Cosmo the Cougar all the way. Why?

Cosmo Kramer was a humorous character, but in the end Michael Richards was parodying his own performance, and it became less entertaining.

Cosmo Brown...I'm not really familiar with this choice.

Cosmo the Cougar...well he's the mascot of my team. Really this is a no brainer (and, incidentally, he made it to the Final Four of CBS Sportsline's "Most Dominant College Mascot on Earth" tournament (where he lost to the razorbacks of Arkansas (Cosmo the Cougar was an 8 seed, the razorback was a 1 seed, so it was a good showing to make it to the final four))).

-Humble Master
A: Dear CG,

Cosmo Brown, easily. I've been in love with him since I was five years old.

A: Dear cosmo girl,

I love BYU but.. someone needs to stand up for COSMO!

Laser Jock: Cosmo is from Seinfeld, Cosmo Brown is (I think) from Singing in the Rain.

KRAMER: "It's a write off Jerry, they just write it off."
JERRY: "Do you even know what that means."
KRAMER: "Well no, but that's what they do."

KRAMER: "I need the chicken Jerry! You can't shut down the chicken place! Kenny never hurt nobody!"

KRAMER: "It's killing me, I can't eat, I can't sleep, all I can see is that giant red sun in the shape of a chicken."

KRAMER: Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious.
JERRY: That's true.
KRAMER: It's very refreshing.

JERRY: Oh, come on, just tell me your code already. What is it?
GEORGE: : I am not giving you my code.
KRAMER: I'll bet I can guess it.
GEORGE: Pssh. Yeah. Right.
KRAMER: Oh, alright. Yeah. Uh, let's see. Um, well, we can throw out birthdays immediately. That's too obvious. And no numbers for you, you're a word man. Alright, let's go deeper. Uh, what kind of man are you? Well, you're weak, spineless, a man of temptations, but what tempts you?
KRAMER: You're a portly fellow, a bit long in the waistband. So what's your pleasure? Is it the salty snacks you crave? No no no no no, yours is a sweet tooth.
GEORGE: Get out of here.
KRAMER: Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master, the cocoa bean!
GEORGE: I'm leaving.
KRAMER: [building up steam as George bolts for the door] No, and only the purest syrup nectar can satisfy you!
GEORGE: I gotta go.
KRAMER: If you could you'd guzzle it by the gallon! Ovaltine! Hershey's!
GEORGE: Shut up!
KRAMER: Nestlé's Quik!
GEORGE: Shut up!

KRAMER: "You know Darren, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I'd be standing here about to solve the world's energy problems, I would've said you're crazy... Now let's push this giant ball of oil out the window."

-Castle in the Sky
A: Dear,

Ditto krebscout, but from later in my life. Doesn't everyone love him?

-Uffish Thought
Question #37103 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

1. Why is it that leftovers must be allowed to "ripen" before they can be thrown away?

2. How long does it take leftovers to "ripen" in your house? (i.e. 1 week, until you need the container, whenever you can't stand to open the refrigerator, etc.)

- leftover-eating worms would be so much more useful

A: Dear That's what tunnel worms are for,

I have to admit that we very rarely experience leftover "ripening" when I'm at home. My dad and I do a pretty good job of eating them, usually within a few days. And my mom does a good job of remembering what's there; occasionally we even have an entire meal of leftovers.

I think people don't just immediately throw leftovers away because they intend to eat them, but never get around to it. I personally consider food too old once it gets to be about a week old. When I'm at school I occasionally forget about food, and if it goes longer than a week before I remember I'll toss it. (Oh, and pay no attention to Krishna below. It's nothing but slander, I tell you.)

—Laser Jock
A: Dear left-over worms

I love numbered questions. I shall answer them now.

1. Because of the starving children in Africa/China/South America/we don't really need to leave our own country for this example to work. As long as somebody might eat it, it seems like a waste to throw it out if it hasn't ripened (especially if it might become a meal, because to throw it away then means eating a different meal in lieu of the leftover, which means eating other food, which costs money...so you're both throwing money out and eating other money when edible leftovers are tossed).

2. It is entirely dependent on the food item.

-Humble Master
A: Dear Leftover eater,

So I would like to tell you about a time when I saw the inside of Laser Jock's fridge; it was scary. Seriously though, you should see Laser Jock's fridge when he isn't at home (aka: when he is away at college). He probably still has that macaroni from last March and if you wanted to know what he ate in February--just take a look at the tupperware on the bottom shelf. Yes girls, this is what you have to look forward to when you visit a guy's apartment.

For the record, I get rid of food as soon as I establish that no one is going to eat it.


Don't believe Laser Jock's feeble attempts to tell you that I'm making stuff up. Don't believe me? Go look for yourself!
Question #37101 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Are any of you familiar with the Discovery Channel's game show called Cash Cab? If so, then you may know the answer to my inquiry.

How is the host/driver of the cash cab able to come up with the questions he does and recite them word for word repeatedly as well as know the correct answer? Is he reading it off of his dashboard or a display somewhere? Or does he just have the questions and answers memorized?

And how can I be a contestant on Cash Cab? I mean, besides randomly jumping from cab to cab in New York City? That could get expensive.

- Lycanthrope

A: Dear George,

I love that show!! I'm so glad you like it too. If you notice when you watch the show, Ben (the host) wears an earpiece. It is presumed that the questions and answers are being relayed to him via the earpiece, from the car that follows the cab which (I would assume) contains a producer who reads the questions, as well as an extra camera to get the outside shots of the cab.

You can be a contestant on Cash Cab if you go hang out in New York and look like a good pick to the producers. (The contestants are prescreened).

-Kicks and Giggles
A: Dear Lycan,

I love that show too...and I'll admit it's in tiny part because Ben Bailey is hot. :-)

How can you be a contestant? Well, you could stand around looking for his van-type cab...but then you might be standing around for a long time.

Question #37099 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear Tangerine,

Since you were born in the Year of the Rabbit, would you like to have one? I have one that needs a new home asap...

- Adoption Agency.

A: Dear AA,

I enjoy rabbits. I think they are cute. However, I don't enjoy them enough to actually want one. Anyway, I'd probably end up eating it in the end. Have you ever eaten rabbit? They're tasty little things! Besides that, half my family is allergic to rabbits. Additionally, I'll be in the UK by the time this posts, and in no position to care for a pet rabbit.


Question #37095 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Does the military allow HIV positive people to enlist? What if someone is in the army and they get HIV or develop AIDS?

- don't ask don't tell

A: Dear George,

According to the list of Medical Disqualifications at military.com, Immunodeficiency is a cause "for rejection for appointment, enlistment, and induction." So, no, the military does not allow HIV positive people to enlist. If a person is already in one of the Armed Services and contracts HIV, it would probably be considered on a case by case basis, but most likely the person would be discharged. Whether or not the discharge was honorable or dishonorable would probably be decided by how the person contracted the virus. If you have more questions about this, consult an Armed Services recruiter. (Remember, the military is made up of five different branches which may or may not have slight variations from each other in their guidelines and policies, so if you're wanting information for a specific branch, make sure you talk to a recruiter from that branch.) You can find local recruiters here.

-Kicks and Giggles, reformed Air Force brat
Question #37094 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, it's past midnight...and yesterday's posts are still up. At what time in the morning do the new posts come up?

-- Sleepless in Provo

A: Dear Sleepless,

They post at 3 AM. Go to sleep.

-Tangerine, also up past midnight for no good reason
Question #37069 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Thanks for answering my question about the books. You both named the right books. As soon as I read the titles I knew those were the ones I wanted.

Another question-
I am pretty much done with my undergraduate career, and my husband graduated in April. We've decided that we want to get some sort of Spanish-teaching software to help us bring back the Spanish we've learned and to help us improve. My husband speaks Portuguese, and he's studied Spanish a little bit. I studied Spanish throughout high school, and took one semester at BYU. So, I'm wondering if anybody has personal recommendations for that type of software. I'd say we're both better than beginners, but not quite advanced. I especially need help with listening. I can read Spanish quite well.

If you don't have personal recommendations, some advice regarding how to select good software would be greatly appreciated.

-some girl

A: Dear some girl,

The only Spanish software I've used for any length of time was the stuff we used in the MTC. I can't remember what it's called, but I spent tons of time trying to get my little family to the end of the journey. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that you can't get that outside the MTC, and since it's heavily focused on missionary vocabulary, you probably wouldn't want it anyway.

I found a review of various Spanish software packages that might help you. The first one listed, Tell Me More Spanish looks to be the best, but it's also about five times as expensive as the rest. If you're looking for something a bit more affordable, Instant Immersion Spanish Deluxe looks to be pretty good. It looks like it is able to adapt to your level of knowledge, and it's got tons of features. You can see a more detailed review of it here.

In more general terms, I think your main criteria should be that you'll learn to listen to and speak Spanish, not just read it. The ability to hold a real-world conversation in the language is much more important than just the ability to read it. In addition to the software, I'd suggest that you look for some spanish-language news stations over the internet. Try to listen to them once you get a bit more confident; the real-world experience will help you immensely.

Good luck!

Question #37067 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear Laser Jock and the rest of the 100-hrBored,

In Board Question #36961, you threatened me with tunnel worms. Need I remind you that I am the one who brought the sabre-tooth tiger to theboard? Yes, it was I, the infamous Magically Marvelous Motionite of Montana, former writer of theboard, who brought that durned tiger to battle the tunnel-worms.

You threatened to sic the worms on me. Bring it I say. Tunnel-worms are absolute pansies if you tickle them under their maw. They love it.

Oh, and for my 18-question post for our tete-a-tete.
(1) What is the best chick-flick ever?
(2) What percentage of BYU's budget is in allocated to construction this year?
(3) How much of South Campus is in the Provo River's floodplain?
(4) What is the story with theboard switching servers every couple of years (this is for the uninitiated of course)?
(5) What is your opinion of BYU's honor code?
(6) How many hours a week is healthy to spend in the library?
(7) What are the best hot springs in a 40-mile radius from campus?
(8) Does Horatio still hold the record for the most questions answered on the board?
(9) What percentage of the 100hrboard has a significant other?
(10) Same as nine, substitute with spouse?
(11) What is the description of your arch-enemy, given that you are superhero?
(12) What is your superhero power?
(13) Who has cooler powers than Superman?
(14) What did you think of Heroes?
(15) What is you favorite building on any college campus, and why? (Mine is the Maeser because the lecture room is slick).
(16) What is your opinion of the Debi Graham Band?
(17) How long have you written for the board?
(18) Favorite video-game music remix at www.ocremix.org?

Yes, answering these questions should keep you busy enough for me to distract the worms {insert evil-villain laugh here}.

-Motionite the Malevolent Moocher from Mars

A: Dear Motionite,

The answers to your questions lie hidden within our vaults. They're yours to come and take—if you can.

I'll tell you right now, though, that the spies have been shot and we're ready for you. Must I also remind you of the recent additions to our worms' armament? I'd just like to see you try to get past them now. Ever seen a worm with a bazooka? A missile launcher? You just watch yourself, friend...

—Laser Jock
Question #37063 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,
I recently received my mission call for Frankfurt, Germany. Owing to my location, I don't know a soul who got sent there recently on a mission. Any ideas how I can get more information on the nuances of the mission? (weather, advisable coat, car situation, dialects, bicycling, etc.)

- Herr Ältestes

PS: While I was typing this, my dog (whose kidney's aren't the best) did a number on my Harry Potter book (Half Blood Prince) AND this program won't let me do umlauts [Fixed. —Ed.]

A: Dear Future Missionary,

I was also in Germany on my mission. Here are some really quick suggestions. The weather is fairly humid so it will be hot in the summers and cold in the winters. To my recollection the Frankfurt mission had more cars than my mission did (which really isn't saying much). Pretty much plan on being either on a bike or using public transportation as that is pretty much common for European missions. You will probably get a letter from your mission president explaining all of the mission particulars, but here is some general advice. DO NOT BUY A TRENCH COAT!! I would wait and buy a coat over in Germany. Over there they have coats that are more suitable to biking and just are better. Also you will probably need to bring some money with you to buy a bike. If you are assigned to a bike area you will ride your bike and lot and it is worth it to buy nicer bike. For half of my mission I used very poor bike and severely regretted it. If you have any other questions fell free to shoot me an email. I sure hope this helps. Please don't hate me.

-- Brutus

By the way in Germany you still use "Elder" not Aeltester.
Question #36941 posted on 06/25/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I don't understand how seamless t-shirts work/are made. Is it some variation of a Mobius strip or something? Would someone please explain this to me?

- Bleser

A: Dear CJ,

I actually first learned about this in Uncle John's Bathroom Reader - the material for the shirts, instead of being cut from sheets of knitted fabric, is knit in a cylinder. This is why you never see girls' cut shirts that are seamless like that; they don't knit cylinders into hourglass shapes - they have to cut it. You can see the same principle at work (in a more visible way) here.

However, I'm highly intrigued by your idea, and if you'd like to start a Mobius line of clothing, I'd totally back you. Let's start with something like this.

A: Dear krebscout,

It's actually pretty easy to knit a mobius strip. Most knitters do it by accident, but some scarf / cowl patterns call for it intentionally.

- Katya
Question #37027 posted on 06/25/2007 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, I've been called to the Minnesota Minneapolis mission, English speaking. Any tips? Anyone on the Board serve there, or anyone you know?

Thanks one million

- Minnesota Missionary

A: Dear Soon-to-be Vikes Fan,

I'm from there. The people are good and generally humble and kind. In the suburbs they're majority white Lutheran, many are Scandinavian. There's also a large Hmong population in MN, as well as a sizable population of Africans (Somalis, Eritreans, et al.) in the Twin Cities area.

If you're not familiar with cold weather (and I mean really COLD-- not like Utah cold) then you'll want to get yourself some seriously nice gloves and shoes. In the winter it gets absolutely butt-cold, and by butt-cold I mean it hurts to breathe and you'll be outside a lot. If you're not a scarf fan already, become one.

If you're not a Vikings fan already (who could resist-- it's such winning franchise, after all) become one. Practice saying "Tarvaris" until it rolls off your tongue like the meatball on top of old smokey when somebody sneezed. If you like the Packers, repent. Also be prepared to compliment KG and be careful how vehemently you advocate his going elsewhere to get a championship (you can do it, you just gotta walk that fine line). If you don't know who Mike Modano is, figure it out and be able to follow up that backstory with how the Wild creamed Dallas in the Stars' first game in MN since '93 6-0, and how in only their third season the Wild made the Western Conference Finals. You think I'm kidding. Make flashcards. I'm serious.

As far as specific proselyting advice, it's the same no matter where you go: don't waste your time tracting-- contact the members. Cultivate positive Gospel-centered relationships and let them know you're serious about teaching their friends. It will take time, but they'll give you referrals. The people of Minnesota are good. They want to help you and more importantly, they want to help their friends.

Say hi to my family.

::: Latro :::
A: Dear MM,

I didn't serve in Minnesota but I'd be happy to give you some advice.

First, let me refer you to two archived Board questions.

Second, if you run into Tom and Pam Kline then give them a hello from a certain Elder they served with in their first area that gave her a hydrangea plant.

Third, remember that you are there to serve. Watch your mind and your heart. If ever you catch yourself being focused on yourself immediately figure out how to serve someone else. Missionaries go into the mission field not wanting to miss a thing. When you leave the mission the only things you'll regret having missed are those times when you could have pushed yourself a little further that day. The Lord knows your heart and will provide for your needs. Trust in that and take care of the needs of others.

-Just Another Cassio
...grateful for the opportunity to serve a part of the people in Argentina.