Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better. ~Albert Camus
Question #45362 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Regarding Board Question #45265 I too must respond as an MFHD graduate who is married to an (almost) Engineering graduate.

Who is smarter? My husband says I am, but in all reality I think we're just both smart at different things. I got a 35 on the ACT and am confident I could have majored in anything I wanted to, but I chose MFHD. I learned a lot of scholarly information. MFHD is a combination of psychology, sociology, physiology, etc. It is a legitimate science based major.

I knew some "dumb people" in my MFHD classes. My husband knew some "dumb people" in his Engineering classes.

When it comes to making a living off our majors, it's funny because when I quit my job in 3 weeks and my husband starts his job, our income won't change. Even 30 years down the road, if we both pursued careers we would probably end up with similar salaries.

Don't bash a major that you don't understand, and don't idealize a major that is not all you make it out to be.

- the MFHD major.

Question #45360 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I've been a member of BYU Women's Chorus for two years. In response to question Board Question #45254, when you try out for a BYU choir come with a hymn of your choice prepared. Be ready to sing it a capella. As far as talent necessary, I would say that you should have the ability to sing classical vowels and to sing in front of others without choking (literally and figuratively.) Also, don't be afraid of criticism. The audition sounds intimidating, but it's worth the reward of being in any of the choirs.

- Christine Daae

Question #45328 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is there a scrap yard at BYU at which materials are available for students to use?

- iwantobuild

A: Dear wantstobuild,

According to my build-happy Economics professor....no. Unless you could build yourself a time machine and transport back three or four decades.

-habiba
Question #45327 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Craig is gone. That means I get my father's laptop, while my father gets Craig's because it is better. This is all well and good, but my father requires that before I can take his laptop, I have to transfer a few files and programs from his laptop to Craig's, and I cannot figure out how to do it. I have an ethernet cable, at least, it fits in the ethernet cable port, but I'm not sure if it is helping.

Here is my plea, oh great ones: can you direct me how to transfer pictures and music, as well as a few dvd to mp4 transfer programs, to another laptop, both with and without an ethernet cable, so that I can inherit this toy from my father?

- Giovanni Schwartz

A: Dear G,

...USB drive? External hard drive?

That's how I've always handled this situation...

-Claudio
A: Dear Gio~

I think the only weakness of a flash drive would be if it's a large amount of data which would be irritating to do over multiple transfers. If such is the case, read on:

Ideally, you'll want both computers on a network. If you have a Wi-Fi card in both laptops, it's no problem if you can get access to a wireless network somewhere and send it that way.

Ideally you could also wire both computers into a network hub, which should significantly increase the transfer speed.

I know it's possible to do direct computer-computer connections, too, but I don't remember exactly how it works. Hopefully LJ, CPM, Yellow, or someone like that will jump in here.

~Hobbes
A: Dear Giovanni,

You know, I could tell you how to set up a direct computer-to-computer connection, but there are so many things that can go wrong, so many special cases, that I really think you'll be better off just using an external hard drive or flash drive to transfer the files. If you already knew how to handle the complexities of a direct connection, you wouldn't be asking us how to do it, so I'd suggest that you either find a computer-savvy person in your ward to help you out, or just copy them over. If you get a flash drive, you'll even be able to use it later for other purposes. They're quite useful.

Note also that transferring programs between two Windows computers generall doesn't work too well; you'll need to reinstall those programs. Hopefully you have the original installation discs, or you know where to get them online. If not, you're out of luck there. Apple's OS X packages programs in a way that makes them easy to transfer from comptuer to computer, but neither Linux nor Windows does the same.

-Yellow
Question #45326 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are some good places to sell stuff? I'm currently thinking about the Wilk Ad Board, KSL Classifieds, and CraigsList.

-Sell Out

A: Dear Wall E.,

Ebay. Seriously.

-Polly Esther
A: Dear Sell Out,

Depending on what you're selling, Etsy can be another good place.

- Katya
Question #45325 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My girlfriend wants to try a natural colon cleanser because she feels it will make her healthier.

Are there any reasons why she should not do this?

I found a site http://www.naturalcoloncleansers.org which claims there are many benefits associated with colon cleansing, is this true?

- Concerned Boyfriend

A: Dear Concerned,

YES!! There are LOTS of reasons why your girlfriend should not try a colon cleanser. I don't remember why, but some time ago I did a lot of poking around and investigating about colon cleansing (probably one of my random trains of thought).

There are a few ways to go about it: by supplement or by flushing with water. The supplement idea is pretty ridiculous, considering that by the time anything you consume reaches your colon it's been digested, unless it's fiber. As for water flushing, unless you get it done by a professional (in the loosest sense of the word) it can be quite dangerous. Pumping a few gallons of water up your rectum just doesn't sound very healthy. And there's nothing natural about it. There have also been people that have seriously injured themselves by inserting the tubing up too far and ripping the colon. NOT GOOD. The Mayo Clinic says that it's entirely unnecessary and potentially harmful with lots of scary side effects. I must say I concur.

-habiba
A: Dear Concerned,

As habiba's link to the Mayo Clinic explains, healthy bacteria in the colon is important to digestion. Colon cleansing would get rid of these bacteria, resulting in some weird bowel problems (this is why diarrhea is a common side effect of antibiotics). If your girlfriend is having bowel troubles, I recommend trying a probiotic such as Digestive Advantage (my gastroenterologist recommended it for my irritable bowels). If she insists on trying a colon cleanser, advise her to eat yogurt during the process (yogurt contains some of the helpful bacteria found in probiotics).

-Whistler
A: Dear Has a Girlfriend,

There are lots of things you can do to your body that seem healthy and cool. While she's cleaning her colon, you can recommend that she try ear coning and using chocolate as a natural aspirin.

-wet blanket
Question #45324 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

While reading an answer from Cognoscente regarding Board Question #45200 I made the decision to bring this to the board. First off, a little backstory to give an example.

These passed few semesters my best friend began noticing a goodly number of scooters being used by two and sometimes three guys at the same time. He was a bit frustrated at these guys for doing such a "close" activity with another guy. I will admit I too feel similarly, but this is mainly because the plurality of instances that I've seen this happen the guys in question are often yelling and generally making fools of themselves. However, my friend and admittedly myself, see this as being a very... unstraight thing to do.

Another mutual friend of ours brought up the point though, what if on a scooter were found two or even three girls at the same time? To this my friend replied: "that would be hot!" (a la Cognoscente's response). His differing in responses intrigued me, and the aforementioned board question reminded me of this.

So, onto the question(s). Does society view the interrelationships of guys with guys and girls with girls on different planes? Can girls do things to other girls and appear perfectly heterosexual while guys cannot do these things? A perfect example of this would be with the aforementioned question as well. Would there be a stronger reaction from the board if the original writer were male and were referring to two roommates? If so, why do you board writers think that is? Any other comments/observations/thoughts on this subject?

Oh, and Cognoscente, I do not mean to judge or anything of the sort. I've learned enough from this board to not do that unless I have all of the information. For all I know you were completely facetious in your remark.

- Trying to understand...

A: Dear Trying~

Does society view the interrelationships of guys with guys and girls with girls on different planes? Can girls do things to other girls and appear perfectly heterosexual while guys cannot do these things?

YES!

Do you seriously have to ask us that? Do we live in the same society? A woman has to act extremely masculine before anyone thinks much more of it than just a woman trying to be boyish.

A man who acts even slightly effeminate will start whispers.

I think this is basically self-evident.

~Hobbes
A: Dear this should be obvious,

Of course men together is different than women together! Women together will never provoke as visceral a response in most people as men together. There are many reasons for this, and I guarantee that most people will disagree on which ones are right. It could be that men are more visually oriented when it comes to arousal. It could be the male-dominated culture we're a product of. It could be that men are simply the uglier gender (the "Seinfeld argument"):

ELAINE: Well, the female body is a... work of art. The male body is utilitarian, it's for gettin' around, like a jeep.
JERRY: So you don't think it's attractive?
ELAINE: It's hideous. The hair, the... the lumpiness. It's simian.
GEORGE: Well, some women like it.
ELAINE: Hmm. Sickies.

Regardless of why there's a gender disparity, it exists. And kids, that's why girls can hug, kiss, and hold hands and nobody thinks anything of it, but if two dudes touch elbows they're the mayors of San Francisco.*

-Cognoscente

*the only exception is butt-slapping at sports events, which is totally manly.
Question #45323 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Here's a quick question on music. I'm a rather big fan of Duncan Sheik and was wondering if any board writers were as well. If so, do you have any recommendations for artists that are of a similar laid back/mellow style?

- Sometimes softer is better

A: Dear agreed, but not TOO often,

I'm not really familiar with much of Sheik's music (though I, like everyone else that has ever owned or been nearby a radio, am familiar with "Barely Breathing"), though it looks like I should be. A four-and-a-half star album on Allmusic.com is nothing to sneeze at.

Recommendations from the music gurus include John Mayer, Eli, Eagle-Eye Cherry, Shawn Mullins, Luca, Slow Fade, Casey Stratton, Graham Colton Band, the Whitlams, and Jennifer Paige.

As far as chill-sounding music from my own collection (as well as the collections of Foreman and Cognoscente, check out Board Question #42144. I still approve of almost everything in that question. That's a darned fine list, in fact.

-Claudio
A: Dear Softer,

Check out everything aforementioned, and add Laura Veirs and Lizz Wright to the list. Laura Veirs is a singer-songwriter from Colorado/Seattle, and Lizz Wright is some amazing jazz/blues/pop.

-habiba
A: Dear sometimes softer,

A music map of Duncan Sheik says that people who listen to Sheik are most likely to also listen to Dirty Vegas.

For mellow music in general, I recommend the Kings of Convenience. Upon listening to Duncan Sheik, I think you will really like Kings of Convenience (here is the music map for them as well). I'm also a fan of Laura Veirs (so far).

-Whistler
A: Dear Whistler,

Thank you for giving me one of the greatest musical tools I've ever seen. I checked Music-Map.com with a few bands I've gotten into lately and it was uncanny how many of my other favorite bands were in the cloud.

Wow.

-Claudio
A: Dear Softer Lover,

Don't forget about Pandora! Pandora is a website where you can type in an artist or song title and it will generate a play list of songs that are similar that you might enjoy. I would check it out if I were you because I've discovered many great artists that I had never heard of before off that website.

~Krishna
Question #45322 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm not satisfied with my life at the moment. I'm currently working full time for BYU and having a fun and relaxing and just-the-right-amount-of-busy summer. Besides the constantly sought after and this year not feasible trip to Europe, it's really exactly how I wanted to spend the summer, but it is somehow not satisfying, and I keep getting annoyed and grumpy really easily. How should I fix this?

-Argentine

A: Dear Argentine,

Find something meaningful to do. Pick up a service project or start volunteering. Do little things for other people. If you feel like you're making a difference in somebody's life, you'll feel better about yourself and your life. Example: this week I was pretty stressed and busy with midterms, and after a 3 hour evening test review I drove a classmate to her house in Lehi so she wouldn't have to take the bus late at night. I tell you, it made my whole day brighter.

Oh, and go to the temple. You just can't ever do that enough.

-habiba
A: Dear Argentine,

One thing you could do is to stop interacting with people. Then getting annoyed and being grumpy will cease to be a problem.

Okay, well if you have to interact with people, like for a job or something, I recommend eating something delicious, like marshmellow mateys or a piece of chocolate. Then you can start exercising to compensate for your poor diet, which might also help you feel better (the whole endorphine rush makes anyone happy). If you're lucky enough to have a significant other, making out can do the same thing (well, similar).

-wet blanket
Question #45321 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Has anyone ever sprayed themselves with canned air? I was playing around with it a few weeks ago and accidentally sprayed my forearm to the point that liquid came out (I know, I know, I should have been tilting the can up, not down). It hurt like the dickens! It felt like I'd burned myself because the liquid was so cold. Anyway, the pain went away by the next morning, and I haven't felt any pain since. The thing is, I still have a mark on my arm, even though it's been almost three weeks. It's just a little spot, about a half inch in diameter. It doesn't seem like the skin is damaged, and it feels just like the rest of the skin on my arm. Any ideas on when this spot will go away? Also, if anyone has any fun stories involved canned air, feel free to share. :-)

Thanks!
~Coroa

A: Dear Edith Leakall,

Once upon a time when I was working at Airline HQ, all of us in our little office cubical thingy were really bored (monotony does that to a person). Cole Slaw happened to have a Styrofoam cup full of ice water and Aggy had one of those cans of air. Put two and two together. Too bad I don't remember what happened, though. I just know we all decided it prolly wasn't a wise idea to drink the ice water anymore.

And um... no. I've never sprayed myself before. We all kept daring people to do it at work, but none of us were that dumb. Err... Brave. Sorry.

-Azriel
A: Dear Coroa,

I was once dumb enough to spray myself (5 or 6 years ago). I was the only one willing to sacrifice myself for a science experiment invented in boredom. Like you, I had a spot. However, I don't remember how long it took to go away. I can tell you that it's gone now, and has been for some time.

I also was once sprayed with canned air on the back of the neck by a boy who thought he was flirting with me. HINT: NOT A GOOD IDEA. Needless to say, that never worked out for him. I never saw any spots, but I also don't usually look at the back of my neck.

-habiba
A: Dear Coroa,

I have a slight fetish for canned air. I love it with all my heart. I would willingly marry whoever it was who came up with the idea/technology to compress air into a can and sell it to the masses.

Periodically, I go to my boss and express to this person how disgustingly dirty the computers are getting. My boss will then kindly allow me to retrieve some canned air (at the company's expense) and I will play with it, spray with it, clean with it, and YES I will even spray myself with it. However, I generally do not do it at a close enough range so that it gives me the first stages of frost bite.

Silly people. Fire, canned air- they are both in the same category. Fun to play with but you must be responsible.

-The Cheeky Chickie
Question #45320 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the purpose of friendship in eternity? I obviously can't be sealed to my best friend.

These lines particularly worry me:

"Our most important relationships are with our own families because our ties to them can be eternal."*

Yet the Doctrine and Covenants says that "that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there..."

What does this mean? Can we still be friends after this life?

-little morning dove

*From the church pamphlet, God Loveth His Children

A: Dear little morning dove,

Of course we can still be friends! I can't see any reason why not. We won't be sealed to them, but I'm sure we will continue to have friendships. The same sociality that exists between us now continues on. It wouldn't make any sense that we would just forget about people outside of our blood family that are important to us. Take for example people like mission companions who you cry, laugh, and sweat blood with. It seems entirely unfair to not be able to associate with such dear friends. Your family relationships are of course the most important, but I don't think Heavenly Father gives us friendship here just to deny it to us later.

-habiba
A: Dear little morning dove,

First, given an apparent contradiction in doctrine, I'd privilege scripture over a pamphlet. Second, there are actually plenty of people in your family that you aren't directly sealed to, including grandparents, aunts, nephews, cousins, etc., so I don't think that being directly sealed to someone is the ultimate test of their importance in your life.

I believe in the blessings of sealing, even if I don't understand all of them. I understand that families or couples are the basic sealing unit of the Church and I understand that we have special duties and responsibilities with regard to our families. It makes sense to me that those responsibilites are related to that sealing relationship. I like to think of our family relationships as the nucleus of our experiences in this life — the place we first learn about love, charity, faith, hope, and cooperation. However, I don't for a second believe that our profoundest relationships, in this life or the next, are limited to our nuclear families.

- Katya
A: Dear mourner,

For all we know, we might not be able to find our friends in heaven. When you think about it though, human relationships are remarkably replicable, although we tend to see all of our relationships as remarkable and irreplaceable. So, even if we can't find our friends in the afterlife, I think we'll be able to make new friends. If you like having friends, that is.

-wet blanket
Question #45319 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In your honest opinion what is the definition of priesthood leadership in the home and presiding in the home? What specific behaviors does this entail and how does this impact the way that husband and wife make decisions about and direct the family? Although I am not opposed to hearing general authority quotes on the topic I am more interested in how you personally interpret these teachings. Additionally, from your interactions with other LDS people what is your sense for how 20-somethings in the church interpret these teachings? How do they put these teachings into practice if they are married, or what are their expectations for how these things will work when they get married?

-Curious

A: Dear Curious,

To be quite honest, I find a lot of global definitions of priesthood leadership and presiding in the home to be problematic. We hear more about what it's not than what it is, and a lot of official definitions seem to consist of doubletalk such as "he's the leader in the sense that you're both equal."

That said, I know many young LDS couples with happy, supportive relationships where I would definitely say that the husband righteously exercises his priesthood power. The tricky thing is that each couple seems to work out the details of decision making and duties differently, based on their individual situations and personalities. If I could name one parallel in all of these husbands, I would say that they are highly committed to serving their wives and families, and that they and their wives approach marriages from that perspective.

Reducing the definition of priesthood leadership to "service," doesn't give you much to go on, in terms of global gender roles, but if you're truly committed to showing Christlike love towards your spouse, you can discover the specific ways to make your marriage run smoothly.

- Katya
Question #45317 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Can air freeze?

- endless mystery

A: Dear endless mystery,

Sure, but it has to get really cold. See Board Question #2274.

- the librarian
Question #45316 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear Humble Master,

In (^42889) you chose Captain America, Gambit, and Runaways as the Marvel comic book characters which should be adapted to film. Now that Marvel has announced a Captain America film, the appearance of Gambit in the Wolverine film, and a Runaways film, do you have anything you wish to say?

-Humble Master

A: Dear Humble Master,

I surely wish Marvel Studios would give me a job. Not only did they announce a Captain America film for 2011, but they announced it will be set entirely in WWII, which I have felt was they way the first film should go. My assumption is that at the end of the Captain America film he will be blown into the ocean after destroying a Nazi bomber plane, and the Avengers film which will be released a few months later will begin with Tony Stark and Nick Fury finding Captain America's body in ice, and reviving him.

I'll be interested to see how Gambit is used in the Wolverine movie. The idea of a Runaways movie is very exciting. Especially one written by the comic series' creator, Brian K. Vaughan.

-Humble Master
Question #45315 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are your thoughts on swearing?

-cussity

A: Dear cussity,

My feelings are more or less expressed in Board Question #44245. I dislike the overuse of harsh expletives and I respect people who find better ways of expressing daily frustration.

- Katya
A: Dear potty mouth,

I'm not a fan, the end.

-The Cheeky Chickie
A: Dear overactive basal ganglia,

Psycholinguist Steven Pinker, in a chapter entitled "The 7 words you can't say on television" from his book "The Stuff of Thought," makes some good arguments on when a taboo word is the best way to say it. Examples include in literature or film for purposes of realism, or when a situation is so appalling that a puerile, academic, or humorous synonym would be inappropriate. If you have a fascination with swearing, I suggest you read Pinker's book, though I warn that he doesn't use dashes, stars, or random symbols, and you will probably even learn a few new swear words from the chapter.

--Gray Ghost
A: Dear Runes,

I'm opposed to it. Also the end.

-Azriel
A: Dear cussity,

I swear this question has been answered before. Oh, that wasn't your question. Well, swearing. Jesus said that we should let a yes be a yes and not bother with swearing. None of this "I swear on my mother's grave (!) that I'm telling the truth." I think it's a good idea, because if you start swearing some of the time, the truthfulness of the times you aren't swearing on something is called into question.

-wet blanket

PS I've read the book Grey Ghost mentions - it was an interesting chapter, and yes, I did learn some new swears.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, I have recently had my attention re-directed to that wonderful skeleton in the proverbial mormon closet, blacks and the priesthood. Now, given the simple reversal of policy I can handle that. But I found this website that has all these alleged quotes from church leaders and publications about how blacks are lesser and bear the "mark of Cain" and jazz. I guess my real question is what sort of statements (both good and bad) have been made by past and present church leaders about the status of black members of the church? The website I was talking about was http://realmormonhistory.com/god&skin.htm. It seems pretty overtly anti-mormon so I'm just wondering how much of what they have there is accurate and just...what do you guys think of it all?

most sincerely
~
falcon sister

A: Dear falcon sister,

For most of your question, you should check out Board Question #28355 and Board Question #33337. In particular, I'd like to direct you to the quotations from Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Elder Bruce R. McConkie, and President Harold B. Lee. They do a good job of explaining the speculation that surrounded the issue, as well as interpreting statements made by general authorities. In Board Question #33337, bismark replied to Board Question #33156 and pointed out a few more things relating to the circumstances surrounding the ban. Many people did try to come up with explanations for why the blacks were not allowed to hold the priesthood, but they were unfounded. On the other hand, some also pointed out that the blacks would be denied none of the blessings of the gospel for living faithfully, and that it was "a practice, not a doctrine, and the practice will some day be changed." (President David O. McKay, quoted from bismark's comment; see there for the source)

What's the take-home message? Don't try to speculate on the reason for a commandment if the Lord hasn't seen fit to give one. Doing so can not only be embarrassing, but damaging as well.

—Laser Jock
A: Dear Falcon Sister,

I think enough's been said on the topic, but I just want to point out that nowhere in the scriptures does it say that the mark of Cain was black skin (see Genesis 4:15 and Moses: 5:38-41). That's a pretty big assumption that's been made by modern Christianity. It could have been a purple star on the forehead for all we know.

-habiba
Question #45313 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Have any of you ever read anything by Chris Crutcher? What are your thoughts?

most sincerely
~
falcon sister

A: Dear falcon sister,

I've read Athletic Shorts, and thought it was very well written. I thought he did an excellent job of tackling touchy, but real situations and accurately capturing human emotions. I'd recommend it to teens and adults.

Sincerely,

The Cleaning Lady
Question #45312 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

regarding Board Question #9118 is it true that byu has their own grading scale that they convert your grades to? if so, what is it? Also, do they combine my grades from grade9-12 and form a GPA from that? if so, how does it work?

- Fat Louie

A: Dear Fat Louie,

BYU didn't invent their own grading scale, but they do use the Carnegie Scale for grading (A=100-94, A-=93-90, B+=89-87, B=86-84, B-=83-80, etc). In GPA points, A=4, A-=3.7, B+=3.4, B=3.0, etc. They take all of your high school grades (9-12) and use the Carnegie Scale to create an unweighted GPA. They use that unweighted GPA for admissions and financial aid consideration. It's probably one of the most fair methods used. Most universities won't equalize to make up for differing high school GPA systems.

-habiba
Question #45308 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board and the 100 monkeys

What would you do if your spoon was too big?

- I am a Banana!

A: Dear Mr. Tiddles,

Oh man oh man. Far too few people have any idea of what you are even talking about.

-Azriel
A: Dear Banana,

What would you do if your spoon was too big?

Hmmm...a hypothetical query. An if, lacking a then. Let us analyze this.

What
[hwuht, hwot, wuht, wot; unstressed hwuht, wuht]
-pronoun
1. used interrogatively as a request for specific information

You address us, the 100 Typing Monkeys of renown and repute, with a request for information. The information you seek? Our actions if a spoon were too big.

Intriguingly, you refer to all of us, but only use the singular form of spoon. Therefore, the utensil in question must be too big for 100 Typing Monkeys to utilize. Whether that refers to a spoon of such weight that 100 monkeys cannot lift it, or of such size that our mouths cannot collectively slurp from the concave bowl at the end of its stem is unclear. Nonetheless, an indisputable fact is this: that spoon would have to possess fantastically absurd proportions.

Such a utensil would undoubtedly have previously been possessed by a being of grand stature. The preceding owner would be, in layman's terms, a giant, in the common vernacular. However, if, as your question suggests, we are now possessors of this mighty utensil, a utensil which is too big for us, and therefore once belonged to a giant, we are undoubtedly Giant-Slayers, much like Jack of the Fables. Therefore, we are mighty. Therefore we are feared. Therefore we have power. Therefore we can take over the world. Therefore we can use the all the resources of the combined military might of all the nations of the planet. Therefore we kill CATS.

What would you do if your spoon was too big? Kill CATS.

-100 Typing Monkeys

Question #45301 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the true story of the "17 Points of the True Church"? Some rumors indicate that Floyd Weston fabricated or invented the story behind the "17 Points" and when confronted, he supposedly stopped telling his story, but his talk is still in circulation or on sale.

- secret asian man

A: Dear secret asian man,

The only rumors I found that countered Floyd Weston's story were on anti-Mormon websites. It's pretty clear that nobody is sure what really happened; the falsifying evidence is more full of holes than the actual story. It is worth noting that The Church itself doesn't publish or verify the story or the 17 points, although LDSaudio and DeseretBook both sell them.

-habiba
Question #45289 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I understand that when my parents were students at BYU there used to be a student/community garden right across from Wymount where the Health Center is now. Are there any other places on or near campus where a small garden plot could be planted by students? And if not, is this something I could approach the BYUSA about? Thanks!

- A Green Thumb Itching to Plant!

A: Dear Green Thumb,

There doesn't seem to be any garden space on campus. Board Question #30810 has the number of a master gardener who may be willing to share. If you decide to approach BYUSA about having somewhere to garden on campus, make sure you have a good plan set up.

-habiba
Question #45284 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear Hobbes,

This is inspired from the message boards, but when(not if, but when) you succeed in taking over the government, what positions or fates will you bestow upon the writers and readership? Also will you change the government to an absolute dictatorship disguised as a democracy or just an absolute monarchy?

Aspiring to supervise the training of Dark Chipmunks and Tunnel Worms,

- The Nanti-SARRMM

A: Dear Nanti~

I don't know that I've ever explained this fully, but the Hobbes system of government is so much more than anything you've suggested. As I've hinted before, the objective of the Death Squad is complete anarchy. I don't seek rulership; I merely seek the spread of misery and destruction in the fastest and most efficient way possible. In this anarchy, the strong will survive, and inevitably the weak will unite against the strong, but soon their ad hoc government will be subject to the will of my ever-powerful Death Squad, which is more a force of nature than anything else.

A few writers stand out to me as filling special niches in the post-apocalyptic world of my design:

Katya, naturally, will be worshiped for her intellect, and will erect unto herself a citadel of books, impenetrable by the minds and weapons of lesser mortals. The Cult of Katya will spread in popularity as the people will look to her to redeem them from the madness.

Uffish Thought will be worshiped for her hair. Her own little cult, being based on very little, will not present a threatening rival to Katya's, and in fact she will be overthrown when a brave young prince inflicted with a terminal disease throws dried corn at her feet, drawing away her barbaric henchmen into his camp.

As you guessed, Humble Master is that prince. He will look at the situation surrounding him and realize that only through cooperation and productivity can humanity find its redemption. He will help reinstate agriculture and architecture; he will reinvent scholarship, politics and art, and be the one bright hope that the world unites behind. His efforts will climax when he and I meet in an epic duel atop the skeletal remains of the Taj Mahal, where we will hurl lethally sharp Scrabulous pieces at one another. After the duel, I will stand above the fallen Humble Master, cackling evilly as humanity watches its hope once again crumble to dust.

I will become jealous of Tao and habiba, my two children, and attempt to pit them in a war against one another. It's not as if I had a throne for them to inherit, it's just that I wouldn't want either one of them, having such good genetics, to take after their pops and kill me in my sleep or something.

As the civil war between habiba and Tao rages on, I may be seen atop some lofty mountain spire, staring down at the agony and bloodshed that are my legacy, and say into the unforgiving wind, "What have I done?"

On that mountain peak I will die alone, cold and weak. Perhaps sad violin music will play, and perhaps not. My scar on the earth will never heal, but the wound I carried in my heart would e'er be the deeper.

All the writers which I haven't mentioned (I need to go buy presents for my kin) would be my thralls and slaves.

~Hobbes
Question #45279 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What the devil is that construction crew doing between the ASB and the JKB? I work in the ASB and whatever they are doing is shaking the whole building. As much as I love the fact that my chair now vibrates like I put a quarter in it, the noise gets tiresome. Are they adding on to the secrect tunnels where the worms are? Cecil Samuelson's new secret underground parking spot? What are they building/doing?

- Shaken not stirred

A: Dear Shaken~

My workplace is also affected by this noise. Just yesterday a co-worker postulated that the construction setup was just a cover for the alien invasion that's really going on.

However, their cover story is that they're building a tunnel. Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out why they're building a tunnel, so I assume this is just an alarming sign that the tunnel worms are expanding their operation.

~Hobbes
Question #45247 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the most common letter count for the name of a country? I figured it out for American states, and it's a tie between 7 and 8, which is to say that a state is most likely to have seven or eight letters in its name. So how about it? And while you're at it, could you sort it by continent? I'd be interested to know what effects regional language differences have on this.

I'd do it myself, but a number of you told me that you were bored and wished that there were more interesting questions to answer, so I'll let you tackle it.

- Optimistic.

A: Dear Optimistic.,

I had fun with this one. I started with the list of countries here, and wrote a little program to parse it and extract the bolded entries (I didn't count the territories). Then I separated that list out and wrote a program to do a little statistical analysis of the countries' name length, grouped by continent. I wasn't sure if you wanted the character count including only letters, or including all punctuation and spaces, so I did it both ways. Most of the statistical measures you're probably already familiar with; the interquartile range is not as common, however. (It's the difference between the 75th percentile and the 25th percentile.) I also plotted histograms showing the frequency of each letter count; the red bars show the count including all characters, while the blue bars only count letters. If you wish, you can download the text files I created and the histograms here. Enjoy!

—Laser Jock


All countries (regardless of continent): 197 countries

letters onlyall characters
mean8.749.12
median77
mode77
range2428
interquartile range44
standard deviation4.375.10


Africa: 54 countries

letters onlyall characters
mean8.659.06
median77
mode77
range2428
interquartile range44
standard deviation4.545.33


Asia: 49 countries

letters onlyall characters
mean8.618.96
median88
mode106,10
range1822
interquartile range44
standard deviation4.054.70


Europe: 45 countries

letters onlyall characters
mean8.408.62
median77
mode77
range1517
interquartile range3.254
standard deviation3.483.97


North America: 23 countries

letters onlyall characters
mean10.3011.04
median99
mode66
range2428
interquartile range5.256.25
standard deviation5.626.66


South America: 12 countries

letters onlyall characters
mean7.007.00
median77
mode7,87,8
range55
interquartile range22
standard deviation1.541.54


Oceania: 14 countries

letters onlyall characters
mean9.5710.14
median7.507.50
mode55
range2326
interquartile range910
standard deviation6.267.15


Antarctica: None
Question #45229 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Let's say the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile was a real hot dog. How many LA Dodgers Fans would that feed? Keep in mind that some people like a few more hot dogs than others.

- Elliot

A: Dear Elliot,

According to Wikipedia, the current incarnation of the Wienermobile is 27 feet long and 11 feet high. Based on photographs, I'd say that around 60% of the height of the Wienermobile is due to the hot dog, itself, which would make the dimensions about 27' x 7'. The dimensions of an actual Oscar Meyer Wiener are around 5" x .8". This means that the Wienermobile would be equivalent to around 700,000 hot dogs. That's twelve hot dogs for every fan in Dodger Stadium.

- Katya
Question #44933 posted on 05/28/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

A couple years ago, I got to go to dinner at a restaurant in Holladay, UT called "Boulevard". I remember that when we went, someone in our group had either a coupon, or had seen in a newspaper a sort of discount called "seasonal special" or something to that effect. My question is, how do I find out when those seasonal specials are going on? It included a 5 course meal for $32 (appetizer, soup, salad, entree, dessert). I really want to find out when it's going on, b/c that place is amazing, but I can't really afford the food at regular price.

-Foodlover

A: Dear Foodlover~

Sorry it took ages and ages to get this answer to you, but apparently information on these "seasonal specials" is highly exclusive and available only in the innermost circles of the Boulevard.

As it turns out, these specials are decided "Day to day, sort of as they happen."

ME: In other words, the only way to find out if there's a special is to call immediately before I plan to come eat there?
LADY ON PHONE: Yeah. Sorry about that.

So, um, the number is (801) 274-6999 .

Enjoy!

~Hobbes