A:
Dear Polly,
If you got your $10 million from lottery playing, I'm sorry but you ain't payin' no tithing with that money.
Dear Curious Cat,
Oh, my, my, my . . . $10 million? Well, you didn't include any fun but frustrating little conditions (e.g., "only on yourself," "must spend 10,000 a day or lose it all," "can only buy things in person," "can't tell your family," "you have to store it mostly as coins, construct an enormous 'money bin' and go swimming in it every day," etc.), so with the expectation that I can spend this money however I would like, here are some ways:
- Perhaps I'll buy a mountain. And have my face carved into it. Or just build a cabin on it. A cabin built in the shape of my face.
- I will donate money to BYU and become catered to and get good seats to the BYU football games. And have a building named after me (the Rating Pending Doctorate of Foreign and International Relations Building, or the RaPiD FIRe Building! Awesome!)
- I will have a kick awesome home-theater. You will be invited, but you have to take your shoes off if you lay down on the leather sofas.
- I will go to all of, but not limited to, the following places: Rome, Venice, Milan, Geneva, Sydney, Paris, all over England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland, Africa (probably South Africa and Kenya), Norway, Brazil, Japan, Ukraine and Austria.
- You had better believe that a heap o' cash is going to be invested and the proceeds of the interest will be supporting schools all over South America and Africa. All over!
- Money for kids' missions and college.
- Wave runners. ("They say money can't buy happiness. I say lies. Money buys a wave runner. Have you ever seen anyone sad on a wave runner?")
- Money to church for churchy type things (they know what they're doing)
- $500 to whoever writes
this glorious of gloriousness. It is choice to me.
- Be a good person.
- Be nice to friends.
- Not change who I am but if I do, totally watch a movie where the main character "forgets what's important" and "loses their focus" but then has a "change of heart" and "rallies their friends together" and "totally beats the other, arrogant sports team that were so cocky they thought they would win!" (Don't you LOVE those movies! It's a surprise every time!)
- Take care of my mom (this one is real. No jokes here.)
- Buy some top of the line photography equipment.
- Support the arts. (Just the ones that I like. Probably not much going to "modern art." And can we do away with marching bands please?)
- Have a good life, do a lot of good, and hopefully die knowing that I couldn't have done more for other people.
- Rating Pending (who would trade all of the marching bands in the world for all the DVDs of
Ducktales)