In my apartment last year, we actually created a dating democracy. Whenever someone had a date lined up, we would all gather together and propose an activity and gameplan for the date which would then be voted on. And, most importantly, we determined what level of affection they should show; e.g. - go for the hand holding, a kiss, or perhaps the Modified Elevator Shimmy
. (Note that this is how the process began in the first place.
"Well, guys... what should I do about this girl?"
"I think you should grab her butt."
"Shall we put it to a vote?"
"I can see that on the date: 'sorry... they voted...'"
"It was three to one in favor... personally, I voted 'aye.'")
So, that's how we did it. For myself, since those days are over, I usually have a conditional plan in mind -- when it's getting to that point, I'll mentally decide that if tonight's date is going well, I'll hold her hand. Chalk one up to Premeditated.
PS- I attribute the successful marriage of one of my roommates to an especially thorough first-date planning session one afternoon. But maybe that's just me.