Dear jay-dubs,

A quick call to the Honor Code Office revealed that not only is it possible for a repentant student to be readmitted, but that is the case in almost every situation. The person I talked with did not reveal the actual numbers of people who have and have not been readmitted in this sort of situation, but she said it is very common for them to be readmitted. That being said, it is decided on a case-by-case basis so that is something to keep in mind.

-Mico

Dear Watts,

I am Frank Oz.

~Anne, Certainly

P.S. No, apparently not.

Dear Please Tell Us Why,

1. Laser Jock

2. Eirene

- Definitely not either of the above

Dear Mr.,

Let me copy and paste the following chat conversation, which one of the two of these Board writers just forwarded to my email. 

Board Girl 1: oh my gosh that Pilgrim is so CUTE!!!
Board Girl 2: .....................okay? Yes.
BG1:  what a man--I mean, the way he talks to people
BG2: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanted details 
BG1: His beard
s
e
x
y
BG2: I KNOW, right?
i've never liked them before now! 

Just saying...my beard is pretty hot.

--Pilgrim

Dear I prefer cloudy days,

Male: Pilgrim has the best hair. He has the beard of a god. 

Female: Me, I also have excellent facial hair. 

-Watts

Dear Sunshiney,

Sure, Pilgrim's beard is the beard of a god if we're assuming that includes Lorenzo Snow.

For best male hair, I'd have to nominate Hamilton. I mean, not many people can get away with 2-foot-tall teased bouffant hairstyles, but it sure looks good on him!

Also, I must say Entropy Ninja's dreads are absolutely adorable.

–Concealocanth

P.S. This answer may or may not be a complete fabrication.

Dear Friendly Non-Mormon,

Actually, the white you're seeing is part of Marlene Dietrich's hat. On the left is the picture in question, and next to it is one I found of Dietrich and Piaf where you can see the back of Dietrich's head.

Here's one where you can't see the white at all, leading me to believe that it is either some sort of detachable veil, or Dietrich liked to change hats every hour on the hour.

-Genuine Article

Dear Curry,

Yes, there are SO many kinds of Indian food. Mainly, the food is different based on regional traditions. If you like spicy things (and by "spicy" I mean... SPICY) then Goan food (Vindaloo dishes, etc.) is your best bet. I personally think that food from Uttar Pradesh is the best chaat you will find.

The food at the Holi party in Spanish Fork... hmm, if I recall correctly, I ate rice, saag paneer, and a papadum, which while a fairly standard pan-Indian meal, I feel could be best labeled as Punjabi (Northern Indian). Mmm, it was good even with the copious amounts of purple powder that got thrown into it.

–Concealocanth

Dear Uncle,

Your vote will never make a difference. 

Let me explain. Your vote will never make a difference in national elections, and probably not in state-wide or local elections either. Consider the Bush-Gore race back in 2000. In what was the closest race in history, Bush beat Gore by 5 electoral votes. What made those 5 electoral votes seem even more close was that the all-electoral-votes-or-none state of Florida was decided by a mere 537 votes. How many times can you vote? Once. Even in the closest presidential race in history, you would have needed 536 more votes to have made a difference!

Okay, now let's assume that your vote made the difference to get your candidate elected. Are you sure he or she is the candidate who will best represent your interests? If you believe so, how did you come to that conclusion? If you actually did the research required to know who the "best" candidate is, you probably spent quite some time researching. For example, did you vote for the one who will best manipulate the economy in a way which will help you get a better job, or the one who will lead the nation to a higher moral level, or the one who will give you the biggest tax break? What else could you have done with the time you spent researching? Played with with your family? Developed a hobby? Worked at a part-time job? 

My professor's point was that it is silly to vote out of self-interest. Any time you spend educating yourself enough to pick the right candidate could be spent doing something with a much better return on investment. You can't even say that you're voting out of interest for your fellow countrymen because, really, your one vote will never matter. You could spend the time it would take to educate yourself doing much more effective things to improve your country (tutoring prison inmates, mentoring local youth, picking up trash, etc.). 

I can only see two reasons to vote: First, you like following politics and enjoy going to the voting booth. Second, you feel some sort of spiritual need to vote. That spirituality can be an abiding connection to our great country and a desire to pay respect to the constitution, or perhaps a renewing of your consent to be governed. 

-Hamilton

Dear Congratulations,

Great job on your success! I know that must have been a lot of work. I've also lost weight (not as much as you, but a significant amount) and I understand the frustration of feeling like a healthy point isn't good enough.

I think it's really easy for us to wrap up far too much of our self-worth in our weight and physical appearance. If we think we weigh more than we should, we are tempted to look at the world through the "what-if" looking glass. What if I were shorter/taller/thinner/curvier/prettier/smarter/perfect? Would he like me/would I have more friends/would my life be better in some way?

This is not how to live life. Jeffrey R Holland, speaking to the Young Women of the church, said:

I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: "You can't live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people's opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. ...The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]" And in the kingdom of God, the real you is "more precious than rubies." Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good. I mention adult women because, sisters, you are our greatest examples and resource for these young women. And if you are obsessing over being a size 2, you won’t be very surprised when your daughter or the Mia Maid in your class does the same and makes herself physically ill trying to accomplish it. We should all be as fit as we can be—that’s good Word of Wisdom doctrine. That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size.

At the same time that I know this is important, I also know that it's easy to hear the words "no optimum size," and much harder to accept them when it seems that there is an optimum size, and everyone else is at it. According to the Institute of Mental Health, 10% of college students have an eating disorder. Are these the girls you're trying to look like? The same article comments that disordered eating affects "nearly 80% of women ages 18-25." Are those the women you're hoping to emulate? 

According to that article, 80% of women are dissatisfied with their appearance. Those girls you wish you could match in weight? They're wishing they could match someone else, be it in weight, height, body shape, muscle tone, hair color, or some other aspect of their body. 

This blog post was written by a woman in a similar circumstance; she lost weight and was having trouble accepting her new self. She comments:

Now that the constant struggle to lose weight has been removed, it’s really easy to start concentrating on all the tiny little things wrong with my body and my psyche that I never noticed before because the fat was the main target of my anxieties. I have become hyper-critical of the smallest, imperceptible flaws that no one notices but me.

Remember that sometimes we are our own harshest critics. Look for the positives in yourself, instead of focusing on the flaws. For example, I tend to dislike my thighs. They simply are not my favorite part of myself. However, to let my entire self-image revolve around that and my tummy flab, or what have you, would obviously be pretty absurd. What is more important, the perceived imperfections of my body, or my status as a daughter of my Heavenly Father? I think it's pretty clear.

Stop letting yourself insult you. Look for the positive things in yourself, and be glad about how far you've come. Realize that those other girls also have difficulty accepting themselves, and that this is something most of us are facing. 

With regards to wanting to lose a few more pounds, try keeping things where you are for a while and eating at a maintenance level for a few months. Then, if you still feel like dropping a few pounds, your doctor does not oppose, and it would not take you to an unhealthy place, consider re-adjusting your diet to deficit levels. 

Keep working on adjusting your mental image of yourself. Look at yourself and see how far you've come, and that you are a healthy, beautiful person. When you catch yourself dissing you, stop it and come up with a compliment for yourself. Believe it. Read your scriptures, read conference talks, and pray for help loving yourself as God loves you. Remember that you are a daughter of God, and that He made you, loves you, and thinks you're beautiful. Is He wrong?

No.

-Sister

Dear 135,

I don't have much to say except that most of the women I pursue and date are around that BMI. Don't get yourself down.

-Hamilton

Dear maybe 'cause he's cuddly,

Assuming you mean a BYU Affiliate ID, I suppose it will start helping you right away. Here you can find information about the different types of IDs offered by BYU. Under the "Affiliate" section, it shows a phone number you can call if you have specific questions. Just, you know, for the future. This site simply says that your ID is "created as soon as a ... BYU affiliate begins using University resources and is valid for the entire life of their relationship with BYU." It also says that you will get "access to products and services granted by appropriate personnel." So, to better answer your question we would need to know how exactly you are affiliated with BYU. If you work at Beehive Clothing then you will have different perks than the spouse of a faculty member or a former student. 

As for the Cosmo question, I would argue that he is not more epic than us. At least, he certainly doesn't have the writing and research prowess evident in our collective omniscience. 

-Mico

Dear Epic,

Actually, I'd argue that Cosmo might be cooler than us, because, under that suit, he's an extremely attractive male with crazy gymnastic skills. Okay, well, I know for sure that at least one of them is a really nice lookin' dude. Dunno about the rest of you writers, but my breakdancing and gymnastic moves are sorely lacking. And having had some experience with this sort of thing, I know it's really difficult to maneuver in large mascot costumes. My awe and respect goes out to the Cosmos.

–Concealocanth

Dear Bored,

Wow, apparently I'm the only writer who's seen Top Gear? (Or at least who's chiming in.)

Anyways, I've only really seen the Great Britain version, and I don't religiously follow, but I do have two favorite episodes to put forth.

1. The episode where they're all in the American south and they have to eat road kill and try to get each other shot by writing things on each other's cars (e.g. "Country Western is rubbish," "Hillary for President.")

2. The one where they make the motorhomes and then push Jeremy's off the cliff because it's SO LEGIT and they're jealous. Check it out here at about 1:15. 

Party on,

~Anne, Certainly

Dear Freshman Zoob,

Give an incoming freshman an answer to an on-campus housing question, you'll satisfy their curiosity for a day. Teach an incoming freshman where to find all the answers to on-campus housing questions, you'll satisfy their curiosity for a lifetime. 

I encourage you to log on to My Housing Account and send this question in a message to Campus Accommodations on your message board. They know why it is listed as non-available and will answer your question there.

-Art Vandelay

Dear Ann Onymous,

"Why do age gap relationships happen" is not an easy question to answer. I think we can safely bypass discussing why a younger person would marry a rich older person (unless we want to drag Captain Obvious into the discussion). Instead, let's just consider other reasons (perhaps psychological, perhaps not - read on!) why some women (and men) are attracted to older men (and women).*

On an emotional level, age gap relationships can make sense. Dating or marrying someone older than yourself often means they have more experience, and are more mature. Often times the older person is also in a more stable stage of life. For example, two college students dating have a lot of things up in the air - will they continue living in College Town after graduation? Will they get internships, jobs? Will they move away? Do they want the same things in a post-graduation life? Who will make the money? And so on and so on. However, let's say we are looking at a relationship like your parents', where one person is 21 (a senior in college or just graduated) and the other is 42 (likely has a job, maybe a home, etc.). For many young people, dating someone older who already has a steady job and a handle on basic interests and goals is very desirable. 

I suppose you could also look at this from a biological standpoint. That is, for women, at least, being attracted to a man of any age is fine since they can generally still procreate. (Of course, once women reach a certain age they can no longer bear children, so from a biological standpoint this would suggest that men seeking out older women doesn't make as much sense.) So, if a younger woman can marry an older man then she will have the emotional maturity that (often) comes with age, and greater financial security.

Those are just a few theories I've come up with. It has been fun to read the article "Love: What's Age Got To Do With It?" from Oprah.com, which interviews a few different May-December couples. Now, for my straight-up opinion on these types of relationships - whatever works for you. There isn't anything inherently "gross" about an older person and a younger person dating. I think this is largely a cultural taboo we've got here in America. In some Asian countries younger women are often seen with older men. This may be a result of Confucian values that say respect your elders; whatever the case may be, they view a relationship between a younger women and older man as one type of desirable relationship. 

Anyway, those are a few things to get you thinking. In the end, its best not to worry too much about what other people think. Pretty much every woman my age will agree that certain older male celebrities are quite attractive (Johnny Depp, George Clooney - I'm looking at you!); most women probably also agree that men tend to age well for quite a while. However, going back to your first paragraph about teacher-student relationships, often times the ones that are most publicized are the ones between older women and male high schoolers. In these cases it is seen as even more out of the ordinary than when it is an older male teacher, which just goes to show that there is a double-standard here. Why is that? Perhaps because the older participant in a relationship (usually a man) is generally seen as the protectors, but in such a relationship the woman has taken that role? I don't know for sure, but it is an interesting complication to think about.

-Mico

*I'm going a little parentheses crazy (but only a little). 

Dear USPS,

You should allow for up to 14 days for any mail since that's the time allowance USPS has given themselves. Unless you ship express or priority you should never expect for mail to come faster than that. If it does, get excited. If it doesn't don't worry about it. More likely than not the change in how long it takes has to deal with where your main mail sorting/distribution place is in relationship to your actual home. 

-Watts

Dear Warped Mastermind,

I think in a universe including dating, the single most mysterious aspect of reality is not qualia. (Although you could argue that the experience of dating is a part of qualia, though if you started down this path qualia would have to be the most mysterious aspect as it'd include everything else.) Beyond that, I think it's a philosophical concept that's a little abstract for my taste. But those are my thoughts.

~Professor Kirke

Dear WM,

Not gonna lie, I totally thought you meant quelea. Quelea: living proof that anything, when amassed in large enough numbers, can be totally terrifying.

Am I missing something, or is the concept of qualia (a subjective conscious sensation of reality, or raw impression) just a restatement of Locke's concept of sensation? That is, a raw impression of reality somehow conveyed to the senses? I agree, non-communicable aspects of reality can be the most interesting ones. "Eye hath not seen" and all that–some things aren't communicable except by direct experience. This is probably why we keep coming back to Boyd K. Packer's tasting salt story in Sacrament meeting talks (though I'd rather hear that story about 100,000 times before having to rehash that "Footprints in the Sand" poem yet again... ugh). Anyway, yes, I once attempted to explain what meat tasted like to a lifelong vegetarian. I got nowhere. ("It's savory... like nuts... but the texture is tough... but soft, like asparagus? And it's salty... IT TASTES LIKE ANIMALS, OKAY? DELICIOUS ANIMALS.")

I'm not sure I'm ready to label it the single most mysterious aspect of reality, but the concept of qualia is pretty mysterious, sure. As for PK's assertion that dating is the most mysterious aspect of reality, I'm going to be picky with that. Dating isn't mysterious at all. The institution of dating makes a lot of sense. The institution of courtship is almost as old as malekind. What's mysterious is how the object of your affections will respond to your advances and how you respond to someone else's. Unpredictable, yes, and mysterious, definitely. 

–Concealocanth

Dear Warped,

I find reality to be the most mysterious aspect of reality (also, the process of thinking about reality's reality). 

-Meta-Mico

Dear Thyme,

My birth family isn't LDS. When I met them, I asked them for family history information just because I was curious, but also a little bit because I wanted to make sure the names were in Family Search. My family was flattered and delighted that someone would be interested in learning about the family members they loved so much. I think your family would more likely enjoy talking about their memories or their relatives than being hurt or offended you'd ask.

Of course this is assuming you're doing it because you actually want to know. If you prefaced it with, "I need all these names so I can do temple work on them and have that out of the way!" then maybe wait to approach them until you're doing it out of sincere interest.

While you're at it, you might consider take a tape recording and getting all those stories on record. You could be extra-nice and type everything up in a book to give to the relatives as a thank you for their help, but that's your call.

-Marguerite St. Just

Dear NW,

I had a hammock in my bedroom in high school. We used the first option you listed. The stud held just fine but I had a bad eye bolt which bent. Granted this was after some pretty bad abuse by myself and my friends. As long as it's only one person in the hammock at a time, one stud should be fine. 

-Watts

Dear Not,

I don't reconcile my political apathy with LDS doctrine. I find there are more pressing issues in my path to enlightenment than worrying about voting.

-Hamilton, the sinner

Dear passive,

To be perfectly frank, I have little tolerance for frank people. (People named Frank, on the other hand, I am generally okay with.) It isn't frankness itself that bothers me, but their lack of regard for other people's feelings. Barring certain disorders that utterly mess with a person's sense of propriety, most everyone can think before they speak, and can understand the implications of what they are saying. The fact that she apologizes afterwards suggests to me that she is only worried that you were offended, not that she said something offensive. After all that, you can probably tell I definitely think it is okay for you to talk to her about her offending words.

While it is really nice of you to want to let these things go, it isn't doing you or your roommate any favors. Of course, since you've already approached her about the issue, what else can you do? You could keep trying to tell her how you feel - be as blunt as you can. Maybe she will respond better to your bluntness and raw emotion. Another thing you could do is be incredibly passive-aggressive. First, warn her that you won't tolerate certain statements anymore ("Look, Roommate B, when you make jokes about my frizzy hair I get really offended. Next time you do it, I'm just going to walk out, understand?") Second, follow through.

Blunt Roommate: Wow, Roommate A, your hair is frizzier than an electrocuted Pomeranian! Haha!

You: That is offensive on so many levels. *coolly walk away*

That's just an idea. And maybe you are too nice to actually do it (I'm pretty sure I would be too nice). I think straight-up ignoring her after the offending statements would probably do the trick, especially if you had One Final Talk with her. Finally, maybe it would help to bring in a third-party to support you. You certainly don't want to "gang up" on this roommate, but another witness may help her to see how her words affect you. Hopefully some of this helped; good luck!

-Mico

Dear right-brained,

I took Stats 121 last fall, and the assignments were all done through the statsportal website, which it looks like IS also uses for 121. I thought it was a very manageable class. Stats 121 doesn't require a lot of math knowledge; if you can understand how to plot a straight line (like, y=mx+b), you'll be okay. Anyways, I didn't think the class material was incredibly difficult. If you're worried, though, you could always just take it in the fall. It really wasn't a bad class, and if you take the class you have the benefit of live lectures, labs, TA's, etc. Anyways, good luck with your statistics-ing!

~Anne, Certainly

Dear crazy,

It's been quite awhile since I've dealt with relativity, but I tried to brush up on it for you.  I've rediscovered the fact that relativity is trippy.  I'm not satisfied with the numbers I came up with, but since relativity rarely seems to make much sense I'm not sure they're wrong.  So I welcome any comments explaining why my analysis is completely bunk.

Anyway, here's the setup:

The Klingon bird-of-prey is K, Earth is E, and Buzz Lightyear is B.  The proper length between K and E is d.  The proper length between E and B is also d.  (The proper length is the length as measured by an observer seeing both bodies nearly at rest.)

It seems like the main thing you forgot is length contraction so the distances between parties are effectively shorter, but you'll see this leads us in to some murky waters that I don't know how to reconcile.

What we have is a tale of three observers.  So let's visit each in turn and see what they see.

Notation: L is length/distance.  T is time.  V is velocity.  The first subscript is the observer and the second subscript is the observed object.  So L_EK is the distance between Earth and the Klingon bird-of-prey as observed by an observer on Earth.  T_BE would be the time for Earth to reach Buzz from Buzz's perspective.

Earth

Because of length contraction, an observer on Earth measures the distances to be less than their proper length.

Since T_EB is less than T_EK, Earth observes Buzz arriving before the Klingons as we would expect.

Klingon bird-of-prey

Okay, this looks fine.  As we would expect the measurements between Earth and the Klingon bird-of-prey are symmetric between the two.

Alright, so from the Klingon's frame of reference Buzz arrives before the Earth does and their plan is foiled (T_KB is less than T_KE).  Interestingly, the Klingons observe Buzz as being closer than the Earth, that's a little trippy, but whatever.

Buzz Lightyear

Here's where my trouble lies.

Okay, again, our measurements are symmetric between Earth and Buzz.

Good, our measurements are symmetric between the Klingons and Buzz, but wait a minute...this says it takes less time for the Klingons to get to Buzz than for Earth to get to Buzz.  That's somewhat absurd.  And what does that mean for where Buzz is when he meets the Klingons?  Wouldn't that mean from Buzz's perspective the Klingon's came zipping by Earth?  What I'd really like to know is T_B(KE).  That is, how long does it take for the Klingons to reach Earth from Buzz's perspective?  And how does that time compare to T_BE and T_BK?  And what about the same information, but from the Klingon's point of view?

I don't know if this is the correct way of doing the calculation, but here's my reasoning.  The distance that the Klingons need to travel is contracted in Buzz's frame of reference and is the same as the contracted distance between Buzz and the Earth.  In Buzz's frame of reference the velocity that the Klingons are traversing that distance is the same as the Klingons velocity from Buzz's frame of reference.

Doing the time calculation, we see that in Buzz's frame of reference he encounters the Klingons before the Klingons reach Earth.  What makes no sense, however, is that Buzz reaches the Klingons before they reach Earth, but Buzz still hasn't reached Earth yet.  And if he lets the Klingons keep going they reach Earth before he does.  Huh?

Looking at it from the Klingon's frame of reference, the Klingons encounter Buzz before Buzz reaches the Earth but also before the Klingons encounter Earth.  If Buzz just keeps going then Buzz reaches Earth before the Klingons, which is great.

At least Buzz is able to intercept the Klingons in all the frames of reference, but then it becomes very unclear as to who reaches Earth when and how to reconcile that with the Buzz/Klingon encounter.

If anyone has some insight in the manner, please comment.  As I stated at the beginning, relativity is trippy.

-Curious Physics Minor

Image sources:
Klingon bird-of-prey: http://stexpanded.wikia.com/wiki/IKS_Ki%27tang
Earth: http://visibleearth.nasa.gov/view.php?id=57723
Buzz Lightyear: http://www.balloonallsorts.co.uk/catalog/buzz-lightyear-story-flying-foil-super-shape-balloon-p-926.html

Equations formatted with LibreOffice Math.

Dear dude,

I don't think forgiveness has to wait for full understanding. I'd just try to come up with a mental compromise that doesn't distribute blame and try to move on. Here's what I might think: "Ok, he did it, probably with poor motives but probably also without understanding how hurtful it would be. He's sorry that it hurt me. He wants to move on and so do I, so we will." I think the key thing will be not mentally revisiting the issue; just get to a point where you can mentally drop it and then don't pick it back up! This kind of problem doesn't need to be fully explained, with everyone agreeing on what the motives were and how the blame should be distributed, in order to be solved. It just needs to be left alone.

I had some pretty sticky issues with a mission companion or two that could've permanently messed up our relationships. At different points we mostly apologized for most of what had happened, but we never came to full agreement on exactly what each other needed to apologize for or fully discussed every particular of the issues. Yet we ended up having pretty decent relationships. This usually happened after we both arrived at the point where we could just leave past problems alone. Just letting go of things past and forgiving each other, with time things got better. If I went back and started rehashing all of what happened mentally I could probably still come up with things to complain about, but I've let go. I think there's a phrase about love covering a multitude of sins. It's not that it understands them, endorses them, justifies them, or accepts their version of what they are; it just leaves them alone.

You could forgive him even if he hadn't apologized, so it ought to be even more possible given your situation. Not necessarily easy, but possible. Again, success will mostly consist in mentally leaving the issue alone. Forgiveness is hard, but it sounds like you have enough good will that you'll make it work out. I wish you the best.  

~Professor Kirke

Dear dude ranch,

In addition to PK's good thoughts, I'd like to add that forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to think what happened was good or acceptable. It just means you forgive them and accept fully the efficacy of the atonement, for everyone.

–Concealocanth

Dear Warped Mastermind,

Websites that use per-session cookies "store state information [like your login info] only within a session." So when you log in to the site, it creates a cookie related to your login authentication, which is automatically deleted when you exit the web browser. If you don't shut down the browser, that information might end up kicking around until you do. This probably has vaguely negative security implications for that site...if scary hackers (who?) got their hands on that cookie (how?) and it still contained valid login information or session information (why?) they could gain free unlimited access to chemistry abstracts from CAS (who cares?)! Therefore, even though this (super-realistic) scenario in no way involves the security of your computer, it is imperative that you shut down your browser immediately, always, upon exiting every website ever. And the CAS website is one of those few that is nice enough to remind you of your duty in this important...whatever. So as far as there is a why, I think that's it. 

~Professor Kirke

Dear disembodied teeth,

Did you know that there's an entire website devoted to how to tip pizza delivery drivers? And that it's been around long enough that CNN Money references it?

The standard is about 15% for normal service, though it's courteous to tip more if there is bad weather or long distance travel involved. The first site quite decisively states that $3 is the absolute minimum for small orders of less than $20, though CNN advises a more modest $2 per pizza. As for deliveries that aren't pizza, I'd stick to the 15% rule. It sounds to me like your $3 tip is just fine for the orders you're typically making.

-The Entropy Ninja

Dear Friends with benefits a Freshman

At least when I worked in the housing office, there was never any holding of rooms in different housing areas to try and provide freshmen with their preferred housing. You were right to be skeptical as this simply doesn't happen. The only reason rooms were held were for spots for RAs, student athletes, or at the request of the Accessibility Center to be set aside for residents with special (medical) housing needs. 

But, you never know if someone who picked a spot in Heritage will decide not come to BYU, or decides to move off-campus, or decides to move to Helaman Halls. That is why it is always a good idea to check the available beds page often to see if any spots open up if your preferred housing area was full on your room selection date.

Happy housing hunting.

-Art Vandelay

Dear 'Nymless,

I can't find evidence Ben Fee is anything but perfectly alive. Truth be told, 104 is old, but it's hardly unheard-of. If you know he's dead for sure, let us know, and I'll keep looking for an obit.

No Dice

Dear Milton,

Unfortunately, no. Matter likes to turn into heat, not lose heat. It takes considerably more energy to get something cold than it takes to get it hot (think about how easy it is to light something on fire). There's nothing comparable to a microwave in terms of price and availability, mostly because it would take so much energy.

No Dice

Dear Miltons and Shakespeares,

Well, you could get a flash freezer (blast chiller), but they're a few orders of magnitude more expensive than microwaves. Think $20,000. Sorry to aid and abet Dice Man in crushing your dreams.

–Concelocanth

Dear Cumin,

I recently answered a similar question. But, for your specific questions I will go into more detail about sealings thanks to my favorite Church policy source ever (who wonders why no one ever just talks to their bishop).

• When a man and women who were previously married are sealed to each other, no unendowed children can witness the sealing. If they have unendowed children who are being sealed to them at the same time, they would come in after the sealing took place.
• Unendowed children under the age of 21 can only be sealed to the parents if they were not previously sealed to parents or were not born in the covenant. If they were not born in the covenant or sealed previously, they must have been legally adopted by the new spouse in order to be sealed. No sealing of minor children to a step-parent can take place unless there is a legal adoption. Unendowed children cannot be over the age of 21 and still be sealed; if they are over 21, they have to be endowed to be sealed.
• Children are allowed to attend sealings of their living siblings under the following conditions: They must have been born in the covenant or sealed to their parents. Children who are over the age of eight, in order to be present at a sibling’s sealing, must have been baptized. Males who are 12 years of age or older must hold the Aaronic Priesthood. Also, if the children do not live the majority of the time in the same house as those who are being sealed, First Presidency approval is required for them to be present at the sealing. Those children who are married or who are over the age of 21 must have been endowed in order to observe the sealings of their siblings.
•  Presumably, unendowed children—under the conditions stated above—are allowed to witness sealings of their siblings because they live together as brothers and sisters and can feel they’ve been a part of this significant family event.

And there we go.

-Marguerite St. Just

Dear Worldwide,

As long as there have been universities, there have been tunnel worms.

The world's first university, as I am sure you are all aware, is not the University of Bologna, founded in 1088 AD, but the University of Atlantis, founded in 9600 BC. 

One day, the son and daughter of one of the foremost Professors of Alchemy at the school decided to do what every young child wants to do: dig a hole through the Earth and come out on the other side. So, they got their spoons, and they started digging. After a while, they got new spoons, and they kept digging. Eventually, they broke through the crust of the Earth and fell through the Hollow Earth to the underside of the crust on the other side.. 

Recovered from the documents of the University of Atlantis' modern Sister School (and translated helpfully into modern English, for those of you who don't read Atlantian), we have this primary document, an account of the proceedings written by Tunnalia Worma, daughter of Professor Fakius Latinus.

14/27: It is very dark inside the Earth. My brother, Ninja Steve, and I have mostly recovered from the long fall we sustained when we broke through the crust of the earth. Father shall be so excited to learn that his theory is correct and that the Earth is indeed Hollow as an Orb of Glass. As of yet we have seen none of the ferocious lizard-beasts father said inhabit the place, but sometimes I have the strangest feeling that something is watching me.

14/28: Steve and I have recommenced our digging. After all, we have already made it halfway through, and now we are digging down, so it should be rather easier to emerge from the other side of the Earth. I merely hope that Father's co-worker Malum Newtonius is incorrect about the possibility of us falling off of bottom of the planet. Surely we will somehow stick to it?

14/29: I am getting very nervous. We hope that we have almost reached through the crust to the other side of the world, for our last spoons are very worn out. I cannot get rid of the apprehension I feel about being in this place. Something alien inhabits this place.

14/30:At night- or at least, we think it to be night, although who can tell in this midnight place?- we hear the roars of strange animals and the scraping of something on the rocks near us. Once I woke up in a terror to feel warm wetness across both of my ankles- a strange, sticky substance left behind by who knows what monstrosity of this deep. The same night, Steve awoke, screaming and bleeding from a cut on his hand. A cut made by some sort of tooth or claw, surrounded by the same stickiness I found on myself. What is this horror? I hope we are soon able to leave this place.

14/31: We must hurry. We have dug as fast as we can, for we cannot hope to escape them for much longer. The ground shakes, slime... slime in the deep. A shadow lurks in the dark. We must get out.... they are coming.*

At this point, the historical record abruptly breaks off. Modern scientists have concluded that Steve and Tunnalia most likely  fell prey to the giant carnivorous worms that competed with the dinosaurs for any prey that found its way into the brutal ecosystem of the Hollow Earth. These worms, of course, are the ancestors of the tunnel worms that currently lurk beneath Brigham Young University.

Scientists have created this diagram to describe the situation.

As you can see, when Tunnalia and Steve broke through the crust beneath Atlantis, they fell down through the layers of the Hollow Earth, landing next to the crust beneath Provo. It is hypothesized that escaped tunnel worms from their entry hole may be related to the disappearance of Atlantis. 

The other end of the children's tunnel was indeed on the other side of the world from Atlantis' location in the Indian Ocean. The tunnel they were digging was directly beneath modern-day Provo.

It is now necessary to study another historical document, this one a student journal kept by Gimgimno (not the Board writer), a student at the ancient University of Nephi, located in present-day Provo. The document has been graciously translated and provided to us by the archives of Brigham Young University. It was found during an excavation to prepare the foundation for Ira N Hinckley Hall. 

Dear plates,

I don't know why Professor Shiz is making us do this recording. How is writing about my life supposed to accomplish anything? Nothing interesting happens to me anyways. My stupid roommate Gadianton keeps yelling at me for pounding on the floor and waking him up at night, but I never do it! I don't know what's making those stupid scratchy noises underneath the rooms, but it's not me. We live in the basement, so there's nobody underneath us. Must be that campus construction again. I can hardly sleep at night, and I'm going to fail my Promised Land Heritage class if I can't wake up on time tomorrow. It's way over by the statue of President Massasoit, it takes me forever to get over there.

This record ends here, but excavated near the plates were two skulls, several bone fragments, and the remnants of a tunnel.

Researchers hypothesize that the tunnel worms found the nearly-completed tunnel Tunnalia and Steve had been working on and broke through the crust into Gimgimno's abode, devouring him before moving to the basement areas of the University of Nephi. The tunnel worms lived in these systems until the modern tunnels of Brigham Young University were built in the same general area. They then quickly infiltrated those tunnels, and live in them to this day.

They are there, and they are hungry.

Watch out.

Sleep tight!

~Anne, Certainly and Professor Kirke 

*Yes, I just shamefully pilfered from the Lord of the Rings movie Mine of Moria scene. So sue me.

Dear Cinnamon,

I, unfortunately, am woefully unstudied in the details of religious symbolism, but my former (and possibly favorite) visiting teaching companion, who may just be in my top three of Most Well-Read People Ever, was kind enough to e-mail me some thoughts to your question.

She said:

The only thing I have learned about numbers is from my CES class. The instructor often refers to holy numbers used by the Hebrews anciently, and the symbolism they represent. The numbers are 3, 7, 10, and 12. Each number represents Perfection in various forms:

Number 3 represents Divine Perfection. Some examples from the scriptures are: when Christ really wants to emphasize something, he repeats it three times; such as, he asked Peter if he loved Him, and said "feed my sheep." In the last chapter of Revelation (and in other places) he says, "Behold, I come quickly" (meaning suddenly, not soon). Moroni appeared to Joseph Smith three times in the night to usher in the Last Dispensation.

Number 7 represents Complete, as in the 7 creative periods of the earth, 7 days of the week, 7 quorums of 70.

Number 10 represents Perfection in Order. The only examples I can think of are when Moses and Brigham Young led the people in the exodus(es), the companies were ordered in camps of 10s, 50s, 100s.

Number 12 represents Perfection in Government, as in the Quorum of 12 and the 12 Tribes of Israel.

I was referred to a book, The Lost Language of Symbolism by Alonzo L. Gaskill, forward by Joseph Fielding McConkie. Chapter 6 is Numbers as Symbolism, and it lists several numbers, with the four I mentioned above, as the perfect numbers. "The attributes of deity are traditionally divided into three: omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence. There are three kingdoms of glory... Time, pertaining only to man, is divided into past, present, and future."

And from my CES class handout: "The study of numbers in Hebrew is called Gematria. There is intentional symbolism in numbers and it is evident throughout scripture. However, as has been the case with many things, Jewish scholars have probably taken it beyond the mark. The implications of imperfect numbers is no where as significant as any of the perfect numbers" 

I hope this satisfies your curiosity.

Hopefully you learned something new and have some more information if you'd like to do additional reading.

-Marguerite St. Just

Dear Delia,

Honestly, due to the dramatic difference in the programs between the US and the UK, I would not recommend going this route. Though it is possible for you to apply to certain programs having already obtained a US bachelor's degree, these programs are not generally accelerated, and some programs limit admissions to those who have completed health related degrees. Additionally because nursing is a high demand career, many schools are not accepting any international applicants at all, University of Manchester included (Note: for some reason I can't link to my search, but if you search "nursing" under courses you should find what I'm talking about). 

I think the idea with already having your bachelor's is that yes, there are programs you can do. However, I cannot find any program (for internationals at least) that is significantly shorter than a regular 3-4 year full-time program. The shortest one I found was still 2 years long. 

Furthermore, even if you did find a program, applied and were accepted to the program there are a lot of other factors that make this plan extremely unpractical. First there is cost. Though the tuition will likely be cheaper (though not cheaper than an in-state or BYU tuition), the cost of living in Britain is much higher than within the US. For example, taking the ridiculously inflated prices in New York City, after you factor in the exchange rate, London is still a couple hundred dollars more expensive. Then there are groceries, gas/transportation, and other costs. From my experience in London, prices generally stay the same numerical price, but the pound is worth about 1.6 dollars. Thus, while a gallon (or in the case of London, a liter) of milk may be $2.50 here in America, it will be about $4.00 in the UK. That means less milk for a higher cost. Not exactly a deal breaker, but definitely impractical all things considered. 

Now, given all of that -- the higher cost, the lower likelihood of even being allowed to apply for a program, let alone getting into one, and international visa issues (I refuse to cover this because it should be obvious that getting visas is not always the easiest process) -- taking in all of that information, the true nail in the coffin is how atrocious reciprocity is. 

The short version: your UK degree will basically be useless in the US. 

The long version: the programs in the UK and US are very, very different. The scope of practice, the standardization and testing, even some of the core curriculum is different. Where US programs have you learn as much as possible for every area of nursing, most UK programs require you to chose and area and stick with it. This also prevents you from having flexibility in what you do because if you get an Adult nursing degree, you won't ever be able to get hired in a pediatric or psychiatric specialty. 

Heck, reciprocity is terrible between states, let alone across international boarders. 

And lest you think that you can simply work in the UK and get some experience, this article makes it pretty clear how easy (NOT) it is to get a job as an international. 

Bottom line: don't do it. Save up some money and actually travel/live abroad, but don't get your nursing degree from another country. 

-Watts