"My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent." -Niles Crane
Question #67404 posted on 04/28/2012 3:32 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I started a job recently and signed a contract for two summers. The job is hard, just like they said it would be - but not at all for the reasons they explained. I can deal with some hardcore yelling, but not what they're yelling at me to do. It just feels so wrong. I need to quit because my heart literally cannot take it - I just don't know how to quit if I signed that contract. I'd honestly be fine quitting and never receiving any pay for this whole week of training I've done just so I'd never have to go back. Ahh horrible horrible horrible.


-Not what I signed up for

And before anyone says I need to spend more time at the job, I can tell you it really will not get better just looking at the nature of the job. It's how they make us treat these children that kills me. Who would I be if I didn't stand up and say I don't believe this is right?

A:

Dear Not,

I'm not sure what you were meaning the question to be here, but I'd say quit the job if you're not comfortable with it.

If you compromised your principles to keep the job, you'd be yourself, only morally degraded. (Sad.) I wouldn't want to go there.  

~Professor Kirke

A:

Dear signed up for,

Without the details of your contract we can't say how hard it will be for you to get out of. If I were you, I'd take the contract to a savvy family member or friend (or if you have enough money, to a lawyer), and figure out what consequences (if any) there will be if you up and quit. If it is as horrible as you say, then of course you should quit, but there may be some (hopefully small) reprecussions. Good luck!

-Mico

Question #67402 posted on 04/28/2012 1:50 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In searching the Archives and my memory, I noticed that Pa Grape was particularly adept at answering Church questions that some might shy away from - like about polygamy, etc.

My question is, has Pa Grape continued to explore those ideas, perhaps by getting involved in FAIR or other worthy apologists venues?

-Kindred Spirit

A:

Dear KS,

The only person who can really answer your question is Pa Grape, so without further ado:

Dear Kindred Spirit,

It's so nice to hear that people are still finding helpful some of the things I've written.  That brought a smile to my face today.  Thank you for that.
 
Unfortunately, I haven't had the time to get involved with FAIR.  I receive (and enjoy) their newsletters and wish very much that I could invest time and effort in contributing.  However, between Ma and my three little grapes, her growing photography business, and my efforts to grow my expertise in my counseling practice, I always seem to find myself running out of time.
 
That inclination to talk about difficult things is still there though.  Many of my clients, both LDS and non-LDS and particularly LDS youth, have found my candor around taboo topics such as sexuality (including pornography and masturbation) to be very refreshing and helpful.  When a topic "just isn't talked about," having an opportunity to ask, explore, and discover around it can be both refreshing and reassuring.
 
Hope you continue to enjoy reading old responses from retired writers.  The writers now are fantastic but there are some real gems hidden back in the depths of the archives.
 
-Pa Grape 

For the sake of having something to put here, I will tell you that I dreamed I was answering this question, and was mourning the fact that there are no interesting ways to introduce or wrap up these sorts of questions, because everything that needs to be said has already been said by somebody else. But in a coma-like state of consternation I was determined to think of a more interesting way of introducing this question than "I emailed Pa Grape. Here is what he said:" which is how I landed on the solution of coming up with a fun nickname for Pa Grape. That would shake things up!

I had completely forgotten this until I sat down to submit this answer, when it all came rushing back to me. The brilliant nickname I came up with? The Cluster King. Maybe I was thinking of clusters of grapes, but now that I'm fully conscious that nickname doesn't seem as brilliant as it did when I was asleep. Alas.

-Genuine Article

Question #67399 posted on 04/28/2012 1:50 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Some of you men might want to avoid this question since it's a little awkward.

So I know it is normal for each breast to vary a little in size, but mine are a complete different cup sizes from each other- one is a C and one is a D. It hasn't always been so noticeable, but now I see it in pictures and it kinda makes me a bit self-conscious. Will they even out over time at all, or is there a change health-wise that could help? I don't care enough to do anything drastic, but I would rather them not be like this forever.

Sorry again if this is an unusual question,
- The Asymmetrical

A:

Dear Asymmetrical,

I'm not a real doctor but I am a real worm Board writer, so I used my power of Googling stuff. According to this and other websites, breast asymmetry is likely to even out, but only if you're still in your breast growth period (i.e. the four years following your first menstrual cycle). I understand completely your desire to not pay hefty fees and go under the knife for "anything drastic" like cosmetic surgery, which is the usual remedy offered.

Health-wise, there isn't really much you can change in your diet, but it's possible that with a lot of dedicated exercise, you could shrink the size of your breasts (which are mostly fat stores) and have them even out. Alternatively, pregnancy and menopause both cause changes in breast size that could even things out. Until then, I'd even things out by stuffing the smaller side of my bra. But watch out for your crush, who might push you in the pool and then laugh at you when he sees all the Kleenex come floating out. Wasn't that a Lizzie McGuire episode? Or maybe that was from the "Most Embarrassing Moments" section of my older sister's tween magazines I used to read. (These same magazines frequently addressed your question, and told the girls to wait, not worry, and let things even out on their own. But really, if you're older, it's possible that they won't.)

Good luck. If after everything, you decide that your asymmetry is large enough and harming your psyche enough and you have the money, there is no shame in seeking cosmetic surgery in this situation. After all, cosmetic surgery can be used for good. If anyone gives you flak about it, ask them how much their orthodontia cost and why they got it. Mhm. Thought so.

–Concealocanth

posted on 04/30/2012 2:28 p.m.
If you're considering stuffing your bra, you might consider getting a push up bra that has removable padding (aka is a normal bra if you choose to make it so) Then you can just remove it on one side. I don't know if this would work, but you could try it in the store and see how it goes.
-cici
Question #67398 posted on 04/28/2012 1:50 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I will be a freshman next year and am taking the AP language exam to hopefully get out of freshman writing. I have talked to my English teacher and current freshmen and I believe I can safely skip it and move on to higher-level classes (probably not first semester, though).

But then I hear that the freshmen writing course is mandatory for some majors and that AP credit for the class will not count. Can you tell me what majors these are?

Cordially,
Hermione Can't Draw

A:

Dear Hermione,

I can tell you that Writing 150 is mandatory if you're going into one of the Communications majors (well, either Writing 150 or Philosophy 150) and "strongly encouraged" in English (though I don't know that they'd make you take it). I don't think an exhaustive list exists, but you could certainly check the mymap for the major you're considering and see if it says anything about Writing 150. Additionally, I'd recommend maybe talking to an adviser at BYU in the major you're considering. You could also consider taking an Honors section of Writing 150, which is recommended for people who already have AP credit for English.

~Anne, Certainly

A:

Dear Hermione,

In addition to seconding Anne's suggestion of talking to an adviser or two, I wanted to point out that Writing 150 is required for the Honors program, if you are at all interested in that. I had enough AP credit to pass out of first year writing twice and I still took it since I was considering Honors. After trying it out, I know now that Honors just isn't a good fit for me and my major, but I'm still glad I took Writing 150H. I learned things in Writing that I didn't learn in either of my two AP English classes, and it was both informative and useful to me. I know not every Writing 150 class will be as great as mine was, but my advice is to take it regardless of the major you choose. You can always improve your writing; there's nothing to lose.

-The Entropy Ninja

Question #67397 posted on 04/28/2012 1:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm considering getting a membership at the Quarry, since I love rock climbing. If there were a regular gym in the area, though, that also had a rock wall, I might consider getting a membership there, instead. Do any of you gym-going types know if something like that exists in the Provo-Orem area? Thanks,

-Gym Shy

A:

Dear Gym Shy,

I don't know of any gyms in Utah Valley that also offer a rock climbing wall. Momentum Climbing in Sandy offers great climbing and typical gym stuff (weights, cardio, yoga), but it is in Sandy and the monthly membership isn't cheap. 

I can vouch for the awesomeness of the Quarry, however. I go bouldering there alone a couple times a week, and I try to top-rope with friends at least once a week.

-Hamilton, who encourages any climbers to contact him since he is always looking for climbing buddies

Question #67395 posted on 04/28/2012 1:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Does chi running actually do what it says it does?

-Beginning runner

A:

Dear Beginner,

It doesn't look like there's real research on the topic, otherwise you'd think it'd be on their website. A survey with a very low response rate (meaning there are serious statistical problems here) says that most people who pay for it feel like it's helpful, but that's no evidence that there's anything more than a placebo effect at work. As I read their website my scam alarm bells are going off; it seems like money is much more central to this whole thing than scientific legitimacy is. It seems to me like it could be helpful, in the same way that any running advice could be, but is unlikely to make that big of a difference, especially for a beginner. I'd also class myself as a beginning runner and I feel like before I worry about anything exotic (especially anything I'd have to pay for - there's free info on the internet and at any good library) I need to run a bit more frequently and farther using what I already know. 

~Professor Kirke

Question #67391 posted on 04/28/2012 1:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Can you tell if someone has asked questions before? I.E. are their questions linked? Or can you tell by question asking style? Basically how anonymous is this?

-Just courise

A:

Dear Clarice,

Here is the best answer in the archives on the subject. (Essentially, the Board is PRETTY DANG ANONYMOUS.)

–Concealocanth

A:

Dear courisosious,

You know how serial killers and crazy people in movies always have their walls plastered in newspapers and little strings connecting everything? That's what it's like in the Board lair.

emptyroom.jpg

One of these days we will finally know who "my name here" really is.

-Mico, kidding, ha... ha... but seriously.

Question #67346 posted on 04/28/2012 1:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear masters of the Universe,

Situation:
I'm applying for an ADA position at the Bronx DA's Office (the application is due this summer, but employment would not begin until after law school graduation in 2013).

Problem:
All members of my immediate family essentially panicked when I told them I wanted to even apply to work in the Bronx. Their reasons are: 1) The Bronx is too dangerous; 2) you look young/are a female, so you will be a frequent victim of crimes; 3) there are bad people in the Bronx who will go after you after they get out of jail to get revenge on you for putting them there; and 4) you will be hassled on the train because you don't "fit in" with the demographic norm.

Personal response to problems presented above:
1) Not all parts of the Bronx are dangerous; 2) I'm not completely lacking in street smarts (I would hope that I learned some things from Chicago and other cities I've lived in ... if that means anything ... maybe it doesn't. I'm willing to stand corrected) ... also, I will not be living in the Bronx, only commuting there; 3) that's a misperception based on sensationalized TV shows; and 4) insufficient knowledge to confirm or deny.

Overly broad questions:
I'm applying to lots of DA's offices around the NYC area--the Bronx is just one of those. However, I need to know if there is a sufficient risk involved with even commuting to or working in the Bronx. Should I receive an offer with that office, the offer would come in December, well before I would hear back from other offices. Hence, I'm wondering now if I should even apply given all the alleged "risks." I don't know much about the Bronx and have only been to the NYC area twice recently. In general, what are your sentiments on this? Is it too dangerous? Do you think there is any legitimate basis for the fears of my family members?

If it helps, the office is located at 4101 White Plains Road in the Bronx.



Thanks for your time!




Sincerely,

A certain Tetris piece


A:

Dear certain Tetris piece,

Before I go on with the statistics I've found for crime rates in the Bronx, I just want to say you should still apply! There is no harm in applying for the job, whether or not you end up doing it. So, on to the answer. I don't know much about the Bronx myself (I do know that they have a unique accent up there, which is pretty cool, but means nothing in terms of safety). Neighborhood Scout, an organization that maintains relevant crime data for cities throughout the U.S. begins its page on the Bronx thusly:

The crime rate in Bronx is considerably higher than the national average across all communities in America from the largest to the smallest, although at 37 crimes per one thousand residents, it is not among the communities with the very highest crime rate. The chance of becoming a victim of either violent or property crime in Bronx is 1 in 27. Based on FBI crime data, Bronx is not one of the safest communities in America. Relative to New York, Bronx has a crime rate that is higher than 92% of the state's cities and towns of all sizes.

However, compared to other communities of similar population size, Bronx has a crime rate that is noticeably lower than the average. This means that for comparably sized cities all across America, Bronx is actually safer than most according to NeighborhoodScout's exclusive analysis of FBI crime data.

The site goes on to look specifically at violent versus property crimes. Apparently the rate of violent crimes is quite high; there is a 1 in 87 chance that a person will be the victim of a violent crime. Chances of being a victim of a property crime (theft and that kind of thing) is 1 in 40 (which is quite high). Overall, a person's chance of being a victim of either type of crime is 1 in 84, compared with 1 in 255 in New York in general. Sounds pretty bad, no? Well, obviously people do live in the Bronx and not all of them are murdered/murderers. If you go to the post by "SuperMario" here, you can find some good suggestions of safer areas to live in and general good advice. 

So, now you can be more informed on what the crime is really like in the Bronx. Like I said, obviously there are people living in the Bronx who are living normal enough lives. If you end up being interviewed for the ADA position, perhaps you should asked your interviewer (or other employees, if you have the chance), what to expect in that neighborhood. If you move there, you'll want to hang on to your street smarts: don't stand out from the crowd, don't be overly friendly to strangers, make sure no one follows you if you take the same route every day to work, etc. If you could find someone you know to live with, that'd be even better, but since you are going to be commuting it isn't as big of a deal. Anyway, those are a few of my thoughts. Hopefully these resources can help you make an informed decision. Again, there is no harm in applying for the job now even if you don't end up working there. Your family has some legitimate concerns, but there is a lot you can control to keep yourself safe. Furthermore, there is always the risk of something bad happening, whether you live in the Bronx or in Provo; so while you should consider those crime statistics, don't let numbers alone make your decision.

-Mico

posted on 05/08/2012 1:02 p.m.
Hi Tetris,

I live in New York City. The best part about being LDS and living in New York City is that you are closer to a Temple than most places in the world. Even Utah.

How does that happen and what does that mean? The city isn't very big area-wise (ESPECALLY if you, like many many many Mormons will be living in Manhattan) and there are thriving Stakes within the city limits that make the nation's largest city feel like home. I walk to the Temple (which is also my chapel building) and highly recommend living in New York.

I also think that your family has been watching too much Law & Order and hasn't actually lived in New York. Does crime happen? Sure, it happens everywhere (and yes, I have lived in scary cities that would give me more pause about my safety than NY).

Also, NOT living in the Bronx is very common for people who work there. I just looked at the office address you listed and on Google Maps, it indicates that you are off of TWO express subway lines, making the commute into and from Manhattan a breeze.

Do what is best for your career. If you are married, take this opportunity to live in a dynamic metropolis! If you are single, become involved with the Stake, you just might meet your Eternal Companion while living in Manhattan. (I did!)

Moving here is actually pretty easy, there is a strong LDS network, you can find roommates using a Google Groups listserv.

I think it is harder to live in parts of Baltimore (The Wire is more like Baltimore than Law & Order is like NY) or Detroit or Chicago than New York. While NY is a larger city, the crime (especially violent crime) rate in NY is not as high per capita and the relative lack of Church members in those other cities (I have personal experience in these places) would make it harder for me, personally, than NYC where you run into Church members everywhere since we walk/subway everywhere and don't drive places.
Question #67298 posted on 04/28/2012 12:38 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I just joined a gym with a pool. I've never had enough money to have a gym membership before, so this is a new experience for me. I would love to try out the pool, but am not much of a swimmer and am not clear on gym etiquette. I have a couple of questions:

1) Taking into account that I am female and not comfortable wearing revealing swimwear (let's just say I have a lot of getting-in-shape to do), is it acceptable to wear a one-piece with board shorts in the pool? I am not necessarily asking about gym rules because obviously I can just call and ask, but rather whether people are going to be staring at me because I have shorts on.

2) Does it make a difference that I can't swim very fast? It is a two-lane pool and like I said I'm not much of a swimmer and don't want to get in anyone's way. Is it common for others who are merely swimming novices to use the gym pool, or is everyone going to be annoyed with me as they literally swim circles around me?

-Blubber

A:

Dear Blubber,

1. I recently went swimming and wore shorts and a t-shirt over my suit, and nobody even glanced at me.

2. I cannot swim, so I popped in and asked the lifeguard about pool etiquette and if there would be a place for me. I was worried that I'd be holding someone up if I used a lane to doggy paddle/run underwater. The lifeguard showed me that all the lanes were marked for speed, from slow to fast, so as long as I stayed in the slow lane, no one could fault me for going slow. I'm betting your pool has a similar policy. I also asked about what happens when people share lanes. She said how I split the lane was really up to me if I got there first, and that people sharing a lane typically work it out between the two of them. You can swim in a loop, in which case going too slow would hold the other person up, or you can split the lane down the middle.

I suggest you go and have a brief chat with your lifeguard about pool etiquette, just so you don't step on anyone's toes. As for what you wear, you need to realize that no one cares, so no one's looking. I think we as women spend too much time worrying that someone could be watching us, when in actuality everyone else is busy swimming—you know, the thing they came to the pool to do? Just let it go and have a good time.

-Genuine Article