Dear Not,

I'm not sure what you were meaning the question to be here, but I'd say quit the job if you're not comfortable with it.

If you compromised your principles to keep the job, you'd be yourself, only morally degraded. (Sad.) I wouldn't want to go there.  

~Professor Kirke

Dear signed up for,

Without the details of your contract we can't say how hard it will be for you to get out of. If I were you, I'd take the contract to a savvy family member or friend (or if you have enough money, to a lawyer), and figure out what consequences (if any) there will be if you up and quit. If it is as horrible as you say, then of course you should quit, but there may be some (hopefully small) reprecussions. Good luck!

-Mico

Dear KS,

The only person who can really answer your question is Pa Grape, so without further ado:

Dear Kindred Spirit,

It's so nice to hear that people are still finding helpful some of the things I've written.  That brought a smile to my face today.  Thank you for that.

 

Unfortunately, I haven't had the time to get involved with FAIR.  I receive (and enjoy) their newsletters and wish very much that I could invest time and effort in contributing.  However, between Ma and my three little grapes, her growing photography business, and my efforts to grow my expertise in my counseling practice, I always seem to find myself running out of time.

 

That inclination to talk about difficult things is still there though.  Many of my clients, both LDS and non-LDS and particularly LDS youth, have found my candor around taboo topics such as sexuality (including pornography and masturbation) to be very refreshing and helpful.  When a topic "just isn't talked about," having an opportunity to ask, explore, and discover around it can be both refreshing and reassuring.

 

Hope you continue to enjoy reading old responses from retired writers.  The writers now are fantastic but there are some real gems hidden back in the depths of the archives.

 

-Pa Grape 

For the sake of having something to put here, I will tell you that I dreamed I was answering this question, and was mourning the fact that there are no interesting ways to introduce or wrap up these sorts of questions, because everything that needs to be said has already been said by somebody else. But in a coma-like state of consternation I was determined to think of a more interesting way of introducing this question than "I emailed Pa Grape. Here is what he said:" which is how I landed on the solution of coming up with a fun nickname for Pa Grape. That would shake things up!

I had completely forgotten this until I sat down to submit this answer, when it all came rushing back to me. The brilliant nickname I came up with? The Cluster King. Maybe I was thinking of clusters of grapes, but now that I'm fully conscious that nickname doesn't seem as brilliant as it did when I was asleep. Alas.

-Genuine Article

Dear Asymmetrical,

I'm not a real doctor but I am a real worm Board writer, so I used my power of Googling stuff. According to this and other websites, breast asymmetry is likely to even out, but only if you're still in your breast growth period (i.e. the four years following your first menstrual cycle). I understand completely your desire to not pay hefty fees and go under the knife for "anything drastic" like cosmetic surgery, which is the usual remedy offered.

Health-wise, there isn't really much you can change in your diet, but it's possible that with a lot of dedicated exercise, you could shrink the size of your breasts (which are mostly fat stores) and have them even out. Alternatively, pregnancy and menopause both cause changes in breast size that could even things out. Until then, I'd even things out by stuffing the smaller side of my bra. But watch out for your crush, who might push you in the pool and then laugh at you when he sees all the Kleenex come floating out. Wasn't that a Lizzie McGuire episode? Or maybe that was from the "Most Embarrassing Moments" section of my older sister's tween magazines I used to read. (These same magazines frequently addressed your question, and told the girls to wait, not worry, and let things even out on their own. But really, if you're older, it's possible that they won't.)

Good luck. If after everything, you decide that your asymmetry is large enough and harming your psyche enough and you have the money, there is no shame in seeking cosmetic surgery in this situation. After all, cosmetic surgery can be used for good. If anyone gives you flak about it, ask them how much their orthodontia cost and why they got it. Mhm. Thought so.

–Concealocanth

Dear Hermione,

I can tell you that Writing 150 is mandatory if you're going into one of the Communications majors (well, either Writing 150 or Philosophy 150) and "strongly encouraged" in English (though I don't know that they'd make you take it). I don't think an exhaustive list exists, but you could certainly check the mymap for the major you're considering and see if it says anything about Writing 150. Additionally, I'd recommend maybe talking to an adviser at BYU in the major you're considering. You could also consider taking an Honors section of Writing 150, which is recommended for people who already have AP credit for English.

~Anne, Certainly

Dear Hermione,

In addition to seconding Anne's suggestion of talking to an adviser or two, I wanted to point out that Writing 150 is required for the Honors program, if you are at all interested in that. I had enough AP credit to pass out of first year writing twice and I still took it since I was considering Honors. After trying it out, I know now that Honors just isn't a good fit for me and my major, but I'm still glad I took Writing 150H. I learned things in Writing that I didn't learn in either of my two AP English classes, and it was both informative and useful to me. I know not every Writing 150 class will be as great as mine was, but my advice is to take it regardless of the major you choose. You can always improve your writing; there's nothing to lose.

-The Entropy Ninja

Dear Gym Shy,

I don't know of any gyms in Utah Valley that also offer a rock climbing wall. Momentum Climbing in Sandy offers great climbing and typical gym stuff (weights, cardio, yoga), but it is in Sandy and the monthly membership isn't cheap. 

I can vouch for the awesomeness of the Quarry, however. I go bouldering there alone a couple times a week, and I try to top-rope with friends at least once a week.

-Hamilton, who encourages any climbers to contact him since he is always looking for climbing buddies

Dear Beginner,

It doesn't look like there's real research on the topic, otherwise you'd think it'd be on their website. A survey with a very low response rate (meaning there are serious statistical problems here) says that most people who pay for it feel like it's helpful, but that's no evidence that there's anything more than a placebo effect at work. As I read their website my scam alarm bells are going off; it seems like money is much more central to this whole thing than scientific legitimacy is. It seems to me like it could be helpful, in the same way that any running advice could be, but is unlikely to make that big of a difference, especially for a beginner. I'd also class myself as a beginning runner and I feel like before I worry about anything exotic (especially anything I'd have to pay for - there's free info on the internet and at any good library) I need to run a bit more frequently and farther using what I already know. 

~Professor Kirke

Dear Clarice,

Here is the best answer in the archives on the subject. (Essentially, the Board is PRETTY DANG ANONYMOUS.)

–Concealocanth

Dear courisosious,

You know how serial killers and crazy people in movies always have their walls plastered in newspapers and little strings connecting everything? That's what it's like in the Board lair.

One of these days we will finally know who "my name here" really is.

-Mico, kidding, ha... ha... but seriously.

Dear certain Tetris piece,

Before I go on with the statistics I've found for crime rates in the Bronx, I just want to say you should still apply! There is no harm in applying for the job, whether or not you end up doing it. So, on to the answer. I don't know much about the Bronx myself (I do know that they have a unique accent up there, which is pretty cool, but means nothing in terms of safety). Neighborhood Scout, an organization that maintains relevant crime data for cities throughout the U.S. begins its page on the Bronx thusly:

The crime rate in Bronx is considerably higher than the national average across all communities in America from the largest to the smallest, although at 37 crimes per one thousand residents, it is not among the communities with the very highest crime rate. The chance of becoming a victim of either violent or property crime in Bronx is 1 in 27. Based on FBI crime data, Bronx is not one of the safest communities in America. Relative to New York, Bronx has a crime rate that is higher than 92% of the state's cities and towns of all sizes.

However, compared to other communities of similar population size, Bronx has a crime rate that is noticeably lower than the average. This means that for comparably sized cities all across America, Bronx is actually safer than most according to NeighborhoodScout's exclusive analysis of FBI crime data.

The site goes on to look specifically at violent versus property crimes. Apparently the rate of violent crimes is quite high; there is a 1 in 87 chance that a person will be the victim of a violent crime. Chances of being a victim of a property crime (theft and that kind of thing) is 1 in 40 (which is quite high). Overall, a person's chance of being a victim of either type of crime is 1 in 84, compared with 1 in 255 in New York in general. Sounds pretty bad, no? Well, obviously people do live in the Bronx and not all of them are murdered/murderers. If you go to the post by "SuperMario" here, you can find some good suggestions of safer areas to live in and general good advice. 

So, now you can be more informed on what the crime is really like in the Bronx. Like I said, obviously there are people living in the Bronx who are living normal enough lives. If you end up being interviewed for the ADA position, perhaps you should asked your interviewer (or other employees, if you have the chance), what to expect in that neighborhood. If you move there, you'll want to hang on to your street smarts: don't stand out from the crowd, don't be overly friendly to strangers, make sure no one follows you if you take the same route every day to work, etc. If you could find someone you know to live with, that'd be even better, but since you are going to be commuting it isn't as big of a deal. Anyway, those are a few of my thoughts. Hopefully these resources can help you make an informed decision. Again, there is no harm in applying for the job now even if you don't end up working there. Your family has some legitimate concerns, but there is a lot you can control to keep yourself safe. Furthermore, there is always the risk of something bad happening, whether you live in the Bronx or in Provo; so while you should consider those crime statistics, don't let numbers alone make your decision.

-Mico

Dear Blubber,

1. I recently went swimming and wore shorts and a t-shirt over my suit, and nobody even glanced at me.

2. I cannot swim, so I popped in and asked the lifeguard about pool etiquette and if there would be a place for me. I was worried that I'd be holding someone up if I used a lane to doggy paddle/run underwater. The lifeguard showed me that all the lanes were marked for speed, from slow to fast, so as long as I stayed in the slow lane, no one could fault me for going slow. I'm betting your pool has a similar policy. I also asked about what happens when people share lanes. She said how I split the lane was really up to me if I got there first, and that people sharing a lane typically work it out between the two of them. You can swim in a loop, in which case going too slow would hold the other person up, or you can split the lane down the middle.

I suggest you go and have a brief chat with your lifeguard about pool etiquette, just so you don't step on anyone's toes. As for what you wear, you need to realize that no one cares, so no one's looking. I think we as women spend too much time worrying that someone could be watching us, when in actuality everyone else is busy swimming—you know, the thing they came to the pool to do? Just let it go and have a good time.

-Genuine Article