Dear Drinking Problem,

Of course not! Most of us, if not all of us, really like to hear from readers. Especially if we had specifically invited readers to email about a particular topic, I'm sure any of us would still be happy to chat about it, even months later. Email away.

- Eirene

Dear Drinking Problem,

I'd virtually never mind getting emailed about anything I've ever answered. Feedback is helpful and I wish I got more of it than I do. 

~Professor Kirke

Dear Drinking,

Nope!

~Anne, Certainly

Dear Fred,

The only time I wouldn't like follow-up emails is when someone is attacking me for what I wrote. But then, I don't think anyone likes that much.

-Azriel

Dear Drinker,

Emails--whether to laud, question, correct or scold--make me feel important. Bring 'em on.

-Hamilton

Dear Any

To each his own. But your parents are wrong. 

No Dice

Dear Any,

What is "cuddling?" Are we talking about putting arms around shoulders, or are we talking much weirder and/or more physical cuddling à la this Divine Comedy sketch or the contortionist stuff that that one couple* seems to go for? I think sitting with your arm around a girl's shoulder is a committed thing to do but that it's not exactly something that needs to wait for marriage. But please don't be a part of that one couple. 

~Professor Kirke

*We all know them. Some of us have also noticed their commitment issue rollercoaster.

Dear Regina,

Two months ago (in early February) the blond couple was shown at the St. George Temple. Reportedly the blond version is no longer being shown at said temple, though. Also, five months ago I saw said couple in Taiwan (or maybe it was Hong Kong?). I'm guessing that the rumors about phasing this film out may be true (alas and woe).

-Azriel

Dear George Romney,

Yes. Legislative Attorney Jack Maskell prepared a report for the Congressional Research Service in 2011 that states:

The weight of legal and historical authority indicates that the term “natural born” citizen would mean a person who is entitled to U.S. citizenship “by birth” or “at birth,” either by being born “in” the United States and under its jurisdiction, even those born to alien parents; by being born abroad to U.S. citizen-parents; or by being born in other situations meeting legal requirements for U.S. citizenship “at birth.” Such term, however, would not include a person who was not a U.S. citizen by birth or at birth, and who was thus born an “alien” required to go through the legal process of “naturalization” to become a U.S. citizen. 

As further discussed in said comprehensive report (which has 233 footnotes - just sayin'), this is why John McCain (born in the Panama Canal Zone) was eligible to run for President. 

~Professor Kirke

Dear dreamweaver,

Take your clothes and small items in your car and re-buy everything else. I know you don't want to sort through all your belongings, but the truth is that you'll end up doing it to some extent anyway, so you might as well go whole hog. I'm the sort of person who gets overly-attached to objects and furniture for no reason, so I was dead set on taking as much stuff with us as possible when we moved, which turned out to be a huge hassle just to end up with all of our furniture scratched, our linens musty, and everything else covered in dust. Take the money you would have spent on hauling your stuff across the country and buy new stuff when you get there.   

-Genuine Article

Dear Dream,

I might be facing the same dilemma sometime this year and I'm going to do basically what GA suggests above. I just can't justify spending money to move things that aren't worth very much and have little-to-no sentimental value. I will be bringing things that were expensive and that have little resale value. If you have a midsize sedan, you will likely be able to take everything except furniture. These are things I'm going to pack into my car:

• Bike
• Camping/outdoor-adventure gear
• Clothing
• Random small household items
• Important books (my favorites, photo albums, etc.)

Things I will bring if I have space:

• My totally awesome wicker chair that I've had for over two decades
• Other books (I will likely mail many of these if I can't fit them in my car)
• Guitar
• Non-perishable food
• Kitchenware which is on the expensive side
• Beanbag chair

Things I will not be bringing:

• Dresser
• Desk
• Cheap kitchenware
• Anything cheap/easily replaced that is bigger than a loaf of bread

-Hamilton

Dear Grey Poupon,

I spell it "grey" because "grey" looks grey but "gray" doesn't. I'm a little synesthetic. Don't judge. 

Here's a little mnemonic: grAy is American and grEy is European. So I have to remember to spell it "gray" here, or else the proofers and editors swoop down and slap me with a dead fish, which is the usual penalty* for my lapses into European spelling and conventions. 

–Concealocanth

Dear Gray,

As an aside, Gray's Anatomy refers to a century-old anatomy textbook (which is where the TV show stole the name from). It is named after Henry Gray, meaning that Gray refers to his name, not the color. 

-Hamilton

Dear Miss Gray,

Gray is a color. Grey is a colour. Simple as that!

Pip pip, and cheerio!

- Sir Britishy Reginald Forthwright the English

Dear House > Gray's Anatomy,

I spell it whatever way Dave Matthews spells it  grey.

-Art Vandelay

Dear Gray,

I like to spell it 'grey,' but I do have sort of a hipster streak (plus I'm an Anglophile).

Love from

Queen Alice

Dear Gray's,

I spell it I-T.

- Eirene's inner eight-year-old

Dear Undecided,

Effective relationships need to be based on friendship and communication. If you've already got that with someone, that's an advantage. There are only two options: you can only date people who aren't your friends (people you don't know), or you can also tell your friends when you're interested and/or get told when they are. This is both possible and desirable.

One should never creepily announce a commitment or interest level way higher than the other person has demonstrated ("so I know we are just friends but also I am secretly MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU"), but you can always flirt or joke about making a good couple or even just ask the person out on a paired-off activity, and if there's a positive reaction then you can keep going that direction. If not, as long as you aren't weird about it you can almost definitely fall back without seriously affecting a friendship.

~Professor Kirke

Dear Undecided,

Actually... I think you can totally declare "also I am secretly MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU," but I guess the reason PK isn't recommending it is because coming on strong only exacerbates the already high risks of declaring romantic feelings for a friend.

I, personally, would rather know if one of my male friends had a secret, mad crush on me (though I find it unlikely given that they're, for the most part, dating other people). I have a friend who was in your situation. He secretly had a crush on the girl for years. He didn't say anything, because they wouldn't have been able to date. When the time was right, though, he told her how he really felt, and now they're dating. Yay encouraging success story!

While it can come as a shock to a friend that you like them in that way, I think the risk and shock is usually worth it, because it opens the option of dating a person who you already know is a good friend. Think about it: if the person you have a crush on is really as wonderful as your buzzy hormonal feelings are telling you, they'd rather you out with it instead of suffering in silence. 

–Concealocanth

Dear Mechanical Girl,

The main problem here is probably that the most recent conference doesn't yet have an Ensign edition (as of when I'm writing), but it should be out soon so I'd imagine you'll be able to do whatever you did before.

If whatever you did before still doesn't work once the Ensign has been published, you can try to download the relevant Ensign as a PDF once it becomes available and then load the PDF onto the Nook by doing something like this. 

~Professor Kirke

Dear why not,

Look, I can't tell you why you should love your body; that might just make me a hypocrite. Instead, I'll say work with what you've got. Perhaps dressing in a way that flatters your figure will help you appreciate it more. This site, this site, and a whole lot more give advice on what styles of clothing look best on a pear shaped body. Dressing in a way that flatters your figure, and working out (which strengthens you whether or not others can tell), may help you feel better about yourself. Good luck!

-Mico

Dear love,

During my years on this earth, I have observed a peculiar phenomenon among people, especially women: We want what we don't have.  Girls who have curly hair use straighteners.  Girls with stick-straight hair try to get beachy waves.  Pale people try to tan.  It seems that these physical qualities aren't inherently beautiful—it has to do with what the culture values at the time (for example, it used to be en vogue to be pale and overweight because that signified that you were wealthy). 

It does seem that our culture currently values the uncommonly skinny, which means pear-shaped ladies like you feel unappreciated.  Maybe finding some pear-shaped celebrity examples could help you value your shape more?  Personally, I think Christina Hendricks is a beautiful woman who has wide hips (though she's arguably an hourglass shape).  Simply doing a Google image search for "famous pear shaped models" or "pear shaped celebrities" can bring up other examples.

Own your shape, girl!  There is not one standard of beauty.  I wish you luck in making peace with your body (by the way, "body peace" is another great Google search you can try!).

Love from

Queen Alice

Dear Marty,

Why do Russia and China veto the resolutions concerning Syria?

Why does anyone veto anything? Because they benefit from the status quo more than the alternative. Russia and China consistently make a point of using their UN Security Council vetos against the West's ideas, in part because their politicians benefit domestically from taking a stand. In Russia and China, being seen as a puppet to America's goals equals political suicide. Much more than that, though, Russia and China have large economic stakes in the current regime, and a bloody revolution could cut all that out from under them. Russia, for example, would never get paid back the billions the Assad government owes them for weapons. As allies to Syria under Assad, quite divisible, Russia and China have to show their support for the government by making Western interference in the form of resolutions and sanctions as minimal as possible. Additionally, due to the outcome in Libya, China and Russia are now taking a more non-interventionist attitude than ever. Though the UN has a declared "responsibility to protect" people from abusive governments, as The Economist says, "China and particularly Russia, feel that the 'responsibility to protect' has already gone far enough, thank you very much. Last year, they signed on to a resolution that authorised 'all necessary means' to protect Libyan civilians from Muammar Qaddafi. That intervention became a NATO-led air war against Libya's regime, and ended with Qaddafi's bloody death at the hands of the rebels. The Russians felt duped."

Could there be a potential backlash from Iran if we (I say "we" meaning the UN) do end up taking the path of military intervention?

Syria is now tenuously operating under a UN-monitored ceasefire, with the Assad regime not making the peace concessions they promised. However, despite the continued killing, I don't think we will intervene militarily unless something drastically changes. The UN will never get the vote needed to intervene–with the Libya situation, the vote passed because Russia and China abstained. As I said previously, Russia was not pleased with the way the Libya campaign was run, and any military venture with Syria would be exponentially more difficult as air-strikes wouldn't be effective on the large scale that they were in Libya. That leaves NATO and the Arab League to take the lead, and NATO already declared that they had no intention whatsoever of doing so, and there is no way that the Arab League would independently take an action with such a high likelihood of sparking regional chaos. Even less likely is the idea of the US taking a unilateral action of military intervention in Syria, especially with Obama up for reelection, and the economy as the forefront issue–this would be a bad time to insert ourselves into a(nother) long-term war. An alternative idea being tossed around is arming the Syrian opposition, but caution is warranted, because as The Economist puts it, "The guns that flooded into Afghanistan to arm locals against the Soviet Union helped create the chaos that spawned the Taliban," and this is a very similar situation.

Essentially, what I'm saying is that as things currently stand, I don't see a military intervention happening in the first place. But in the hypothetical situation that one did, there would be tremendous backlash from Iran, as they are longstanding and very close allies, who have recently been seen working together militarily.

Aside from Russia, China, and Iran, which other countries are known allies to Syria?

Currently, no one other than Russia, China, and Iran. Syria has angered the European Union, America, and the rest of the West, and gotten themselves booted out of the Arab League as a consequence of using deadly force on protestors after declared ceasefires. If you're interested in who has a stake in Syria's fate, I recommend you follow the money, and for who supports the regime, follow the arms trade.

What is the estimated number of deaths in Syria now, and how does it compare to Libya at the time when we decided to involve ourselves?

Somewhere between 9,113 and 13,368 dead in Syria compared to (?<10) thousand dead in Libya previous to Coalition intervention; the Libya number is hard to ascertain due to media lockdowns and still-uncertain missing/dead counts. Remember, though, the decision to intervene is not something based purely in casualty statistics; rather, it depends on the history of the region, the political climates of each nation involved, potential consequences, alliances, promises, treaties, and a host of other factors.

–Concealocanth

Dear none whatsoever,

Generally between 3 and 5 a.m. the next day. So, if it aired at 7 p.m. Wednesday night, then it will be on Hulu ~4 a.m. Thursday morning. Sources online confirm this, as does an experience I had a year ago with a bout of insomnia wherein I watched a show just after it was put on Hulu, around 4:30 a.m. Good times.

-Mico

Dear Trying,

I'm not very familiar with the archives; I just have search engine skills which helped in my quest to become a writer. Nonetheless, this is one of my favorite questions from yesteryear (and it deserves dozens more thumbs-ups than it currently has). I can't think of any bad responses, and don't feel like searching for the failures of my cohorts (if you want to, try a search term like "bad responses" or "bad answers"). 

-Hamilton

Dear Musing,

I don't want to date myself but did serve.

My weekly reports asked for number of baptisms, number of those baptisms that were men, baptismal invite goal, confirmations, lessons to investigators with a member present, other lessons to investigators, lessons to less actives, referrals received and contacted, progressing investigators, and contacts - pretty much what's in Preach My Gospel, with a few additions. Different missions will have different additional numbers, but the numbers as described in Preach My Gospel chapter 8 are pretty constant. 

The weekly letter had a pretty open prompt that boiled down to "talk about what you're doing to help investigators get baptized and help less actives come back, and discuss how your study is helping you in your efforts." Pretty standard stuff. Sometimes we were encouraged to write about experiences of specific types related to current emphases of the mission (e.g. using the Book of Mormon to help someone accept a baptismal date).

~Professor Kirke

Dear Basil,

Proselyting. Except when I was in Rochester and then it was Visitor's Center, which was awesome.

It's been so long since I had to fill out a weekly report that I don't remember what I said on there. Apparently whatever it was, it was funny, though. My mission president specifically said he and his wife loved reading my letters because they would make them laugh.

-Marguerite St. Just

Dear Can,

My mom "passed" her pregnancy test to find out she was pregnant with me on the same day she aced a test on pregnancy in a college class. Apparently it was a pretty good day for pregnancy.

~Professor Kirke

Dear Yours Truly,

With both pregnancies, I peed on a stick and about 30 seconds later it told me I was pregnant. Yup. That's about it.

What prompted me to decide to pee on a stick? Well, with Baby Bones #1 (our "Oops Baby") my period was two days late (I have very regular cycles, in case you were wondering) at the time I decided to take a pregnancy test. I just had this feeling. And I was right.

Baby Bones #2 was planned. Thanks to the power of knowledge, particularly books like this, I was able to get pregnant the first month we tried. Two days before I was supposed to start my period I decided to take a pregnancy test because, again, I just had this feeling. It was positive. He's 16 days old as of today.

That's about it. I feel like this was way more information than anyone would ever want to know about me, yet it still seems like a pretty short answer. Well, I hope you have a nice day!

-Sky Bones

P.S. Please remember it could easily take you months to finally conceive. Don't get disheartened. Just keep your chin up and exercise that patience.

Dear Blawg,

Here are blogging tips from the Evil HR Lady herself:

Here's how to be a successful blogger:

1. Be better than everyone else.
2. Write frequently.
3. Have a new angle for your topic.

Now, in terms of being better than everyone else, the blogosphere is a true meritocracy. If you are good people will come back. If you are not, they won't. 600 followers is not shabby. You can't generally force a big build up, but you do need to maintain the followers that you do have.

In following other blogs you do want to build relationships with other bloggers. You can send them links to your stuff with a note about how their readers would like that, but most of those will get ignored. Better to make insightful comments on their blogs. And what is an insightful comment?  Not one like this:

Great blog! Good thoughts. I wrote my thoughts here: www.JohnDoeBlog.org.

You need to actually say something interesting enough that people are interested in clicking on your name and going to your blog. Your comment must be relevant, well written, and different enough to get people's attention.

If your topic area does any "carnivals" or "round ups" or what have you, join those groups. If nothing else it gets things linked back.  If not, start one. It's not hard. Find a few bloggers in your area and email them telling them you are starting a carnival.

Does your topic have a LinkedIn group? Join it. If not, make one. Make sure your LinkedIn profile is a good one and share your blog posts on your Linked in. This will then post to the weekly updates that you receive from your connections. Of course, you can't do this if you are blogging anonymously.

The point is to get your blog out there in a non-spammy way. Do not send out mass emails saying, "I would love to write a guest post for your blog and only ask for a link back!" Unless the blog normally accepts guest posts (Like KevinMD.com), only the really bad and desperate will accept your offer. 

Hope that helps!

Wow, major props to Evil HR Lady who I think got this back to me in five minutes flat. If you hop on over to her blog, you'll see that she is a master of the art of having interesting things to say, so you should take her tips as gospel truth.

–Concealocanth

Dear the psychicness happens to be a subset of our omniscience,

The consensus on this Nursing board seems to be that there aren't any masters programs that don't require chemistry. Lo siento, Pepita. (Though personally... I'd rather have nurses be really strong in chemistry than not. Just sayin'.)

–Concealocanth

Dear wouldn't risk it, 

Why would getting married cause a prospective adoptive parent to be temporarily disqualified from adopting, when he or she was eligible to adopt before the wedding?

I think your thought is correct–it's all about stability. As a single person in a stable situation with absolutely no likelihood of having children, you are eligible to adopt, and then again as a stable, established married couple, you are again eligible. But as a newlywed person, establishing a new family, things are a lot more up in the air, and thus not an ideal situation for children to get adopted into.

I wonder whether it would be possible to adopt a child shortly before getting married, and then going through the process to have the child legally adopted by one's spouse as well. What do you think?

I'm thinking about puppies and rainbows and the persistent song stuck in my head. And that one kid in nursery today that, when asked his name, said "braaaaains" every time. I was seriously worried we had a zombie outbreak going on. (It turned out his name was "Blaine.") Anyway, you probably wanted something relevant to your thoughts. I think that would be possible, though I think it's an unusual way of going about things, not to mention underhanded. 

–Concealocanth

Dear Bookmobile,

1. No, it's not, since it's a gift from him.
2. None, see above.
3. Fire and brimstone (actually, probably nothing).

–Concealocanth, who is still not a lawyer.

Dear Bookmobile,

I second all of Concealocanth's answers. Specifically, as the link in her third answer says, the first-sale doctrine generally allows the buyer of a copyrighted work to transfer their copy to someone else, even if the publisher tries to restrict that. Recently some publishers have tried to get around this sort of thing, but as in Concealocanth's answer, that doesn't always work out for them.

—Laser Jock, who is also still not a lawyer

Dear Ahhhhnold,

If you're just a dude who hits the gym a few times during the week, you'll be fine with the typical recommendation of .8-1.0 grams of protein per kg of body weight. Unless you're a genetic freak or are doing some hardcore bodybuilding (like, professional athlete type stuff), don't worry about getting more than that, at least for the purpose of building muscle. It's like if you're building a brick wall, one brick at a time. You're limited by your pace in building, so having 10 million bricks stockpiled won't help you build the wall any faster. I dunno, that's a terrible analogy, but it works well enough. There are studies that say this same thing, but I can't look 'em up right now. Ask another question or just shoot me an e-mail if you're super interested in reading them.

- Commander Keen, from the unknowable darkness of hiatus

Dear Arnold,

Also note that specifically, you probably don't need to take any protein supplements. From NASM Essentials of Personal Fitness Training (3rd ed.), pg. 427 (citations reproduced below):

...In a healthy population, protein supplementation is difficult to defend, at least in its general use among athletes. The concept that "more is better" is the conventional thinking of many users of protein supplements, especially in the bodybuilding community.⁵² Athletes tend to base their diet decisions on nutritional advice from their peers, nonscientific mentors, heroes, or idols, rather than the peer-reviewed, scientific literature.^53–56 No evidence has shown a constant, linear increase in muscle mass or performance related to protein intake.

They do go on to give a few exceptions. These include using protein and carbs directly after exercise, to enhance recovery;^57–63 as part of a weight-reduction program, particularly for bodybuilders or other "competitive cosmetic athletes"; and convenience (such as early-morning workouts when whole food is not a good option).

There are also some negative side effects associated with chronic use of high-protein diets, defined as consisting of more than 30% of total caloric intake from protein, or three times the protein RDA for athletes:

• People on these types of diets often compromise other aspects of their diet, such as having a "higher intake of saturated fat and low fiber intake," which increases the risk of heart disease and some types of cancer.
• Your kidneys have to work harder.
• Excess protein intake also reduces the amount of calcium available to your body, which they say is "of genuine concern," given the problems that so many Americans already face in obtaining adequate calcium.
• High protein intake requires higher fluid intake.
• Increased protein intake is often accompanied by lower carbohydrate intake, which "can lead to decreased glycogen stores, which inhibit performance and contribute to dehydration."

It sounds like you're starting a new exercise program; good luck!

—Laser Jock

52. Curtis D. Pump up your protein powder? Muscle Fitness 1991;52(10):75.
53. Parraga IM. Determinants of food consumption. J Am Diet Assoc 1990;90(5):661–663.
54. Douglas PD, Douglas JG. Nutrition knowledge and food practices of high school athletes. J Am Diet Assoc 1984;84(10):1198–1202.
55. Perron M, Endres J. Knowledge, attitudes, and dietary practices of female athletes. J Am Diet Assoc 1985;85(5):573–576.
56. Weblow JA, Fox HM, Henneman A. Nutritional knowledge, attitudes, and food patterns of women athletes. J Am Diet Assoc 1978;73(3):242–245.
57. Kraemer WJ, Volek JS, Bush JA, Putukian M, Sebastianelli WJ. Hormonal responses to consecutive days of heavy-resistance exercise with or without nutritional supplementation. J Appl Physiol 1998;85(4):1544–1555.
58. Chandler RM, Byrne HK, Patterson JG, Ivy JL. Dietary supplements affect the anabolic hormones after weight-training exercise. J Appl Physiol 1994;76(2):839–845.
59. Tarnolpolsky MA, MacDougall JD, Atkinson SA. Influence of protein intake and training status on nitrogen balance and lean body mass. J Appl Physiol 1988;64(1):187–193.
60. Staron RS, Karapondo DL, Kraemer WJ, Fry AC, Gordon SE, Falkel JE, Hagerman FC, Hikida RS. Skeletal muscle adaptations during early phase of heavy-resistance training in men and women. J Appl Physiol 1994;76(3):1247–1255.
61. Tarnolpolsky MA, Atkinson SA, MacDougall JD, Chesley A, Phillips S, Schwarcz HP. Evaluation of protein requirements for trained strength athletes. J Appl Physiol 1992;73(5):1986–1989.
62. Thissen JP, Ketelslegers JM, Underwood LE. Nutritional regulation of the insulin-like growth factors. Endocr Rev 1994;15(1):80–101.
63. Volek JS, Kraemer WJ, Bush JA, Incledon T, Boetes M. Testosterone and cortisol in relationship to dietary nutrients and resistance exercise. J Appl Physiol 1997;82(1):49–54.

Dear Cliffhangers,

Jer3miah is dead and it's never coming back. The series' creator, Jeff Parkin, had high hopes that they might be able to do a second season (there was even talk of the first season being made into a film), but things never panned out. I will tell you that if you're looking to fill the void Jer3miah has left in your heart and viewing schedule, BYU's transmedia class is producing another web series, Pretty Darn Funny, which, as it turns out, is pretty darn funny.

-Genuine Article

Editor's Note: Please see the comment below for more accurate information from Jeff Parkin.

Dear Nick "Molty" Smith,

Here's a pdf file of the chords to Rondo Alla Turca, graciously transcribed by a musically talented friend. I'm sorry if the pages are a little rumpled... I may or may not have used the sheet music to catch a snake. If you have trouble downloading the file, email me and I'll give you the file in another form.

–Concealocanth