"I thought we decided that spaghetti was much better than post-it notes." -Dragon Lady
Question #91222 posted on 05/11/2018 6:24 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I got a scholarship and I am supposed to notify my future college of my award. Who do I tell/email to notify BYU of a scholarship?

-gracias

A:

Dear De Nada,

Sunday Night Banter recommends contacting One Stop, which is a great idea. You can call them at 801-422-4104, or email them at ymessage.byu.edu. Because we don't have any information about your scholarship, like which one it is or who it's from, or even what college you're in, if you call One Stop and give them all the details, they'll be able to connect you to the right people much better than we can. Good luck, and congratulations on getting a scholarship!

-Alta

Question #91235 posted on 05/11/2018 3 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is it vain and shallow to hire a professional photographer to shoot my online dating profile picture? I'm not a photogenic person. Also, most of my recent photos are in group settings, which are not ideal for online dating purposes. Now, I'm not talking about getting linkedin headshots or excessively photoshopped photographs. I'm a guy and the profile will be on usual LDS dating sites. Thanks!

-Dial-up Internet

A:

Dear DUI,

I don't think it's vain or shallow, but I also don't think it's necessary.

I can't claim to be an expert at online dating, nor have I tried any specific LDS sites, so there's a distinct possibility that my limited Tinder experience wouldn't be applicable. But online dating tends to rely on quick decisions, with people deciding over the course of a few seconds whether they're interested in someone. Your photos are a crucial aspect of that, not only in terms of attractiveness, but in establishing personality. Professional photos may come across as too stiffed or forced.

I'm not photogenic either, nor do I end up taking that many pictures of myself. The newest picture I have on my Tinder profile is more than six months old, and the oldest one is from 2015. In my mind that's still a fairly recent picture, and I don't look particularly different, so I get by. Therefore I think getting professional photos solely for online dating is probably overkill, especially for a man. You're welcome to do it if that's what you want, but I don't think women will be analyzing your photos that extensively.

Love,

Luciana

A:

Dear you,

I don't think that's a bad idea, though it might cost more than you want. If you do end up using a professional photographer, I'd be upfront and honest with them as to the purpose of the pictures, and I think that would allow them to make stylistic decisions that would fit your purpose.

Also, you might find this article by the New York Times interesting, called An Inside Look at Your Favorite Dating Sites. One interesting excerpt is from Meredith Davis, the head of communications at a dating app called The League. She discusses the importance not only of photo quality, but of how you present yourself.

I have the same League profile in New York and San Francisco. It’s the same photos, but my New York self performs a lot lower simply because of the ratio. There’s a lot more women than men in New York, and the competition for high-achieving, ambitious women who have great photos — I don’t say “pretty” or “hot” because it’s not about that, it’s about how you market yourself — is a lot higher...

[Regarding how users can make their dating profile the best it can be] On the League, you have six photo spots. This is basically six advertising templates.

If you have a dog, put a dog in there. If you play instruments, put that in there. I don’t know what it is with Machu Picchu; everyone has photos with Machu Picchu.

Show one photo with your family. If you don’t have children, don’t put your baby cousins or your nieces. If your best friend is super-attractive, more attractive than you, think about that. No sunglasses. It hides your identity and people can’t relate to you when you have sunglasses on. You’d be surprised how many ex-girlfriend and ex-boyfriend photos we see.

No selfies. I see so many car selfies. You can literally see the seatbelt. No Snapchat filters.

Get feedback from friends. If you’re a guy, ask a good girlfriend, “Can you look through my Facebook photos?”

Friends are a good source of information. Not feeling it? You could also seek input on your current dating photos from Photofeeler, a free service which exists explicitly to provide feedback on people's pictures for business, social and dating situations.

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz

Question #90111 posted on 05/11/2018 2:15 p.m.
Q:

Dear Ardilla Feroz,

Abkhazia? Are you nuts?! What’s next, Transnistria? (Will you buy me a small souvenir? I’ll pay you back.)

-Secretly a Little Jealous

A:

Dear red/pink otter pop (that is to say, the best),

Once upon a time--about 909 hours ago, to be exact--I saw this question and began to answer it shortly after you'd seen Board Question #90084 and been clued in to my thereabouts. Unfortunately, my mostly finished response was met with oblivion, and thusly I have no longer know what I was almost done writing. Therefore, let us begin this answer anew.

[2663 hours pass and I am ashamed but do nothing further. Eventually...]

Anyways, so there I was in Doha, Qatar. I am having trouble determining exactly how hot it was that day, but it seems like it was about 91 degrees Fahrenheit at 6 AM, and possibly getting to 107 degrees later in the day, if my weather info is any good. It was easily one of the hottest places I have ever been in my life. Now, I've spent time in some hot places—one summer, for example, I was moving around railroad ties in 105 degree weather at a government base in the desert—I could elucidate, but it sounds more dramatic like that—but good ol' Western U.S. heat is dry heat, so if the temperature fluctuates 15 degrees one way or the other no one really cares. It's just heat. Humidity, though, makes you feel like a sad, wilted piece of lettuce, the kind that gets sweaty as it suffocates.

IN ANY CASE. I do not know how hot it was in Qatar, but owing to its privileged location next to the Persian Gulf indeed the tiny nation of Qatar is hot and humid. Interestingly enough, it's the world's wealthiest country per capita, so ethnically Qatari people seem to be very affluent, and very scarce. In early 2017, Qatar's total population was 2.6 million: 313,000 Qatari citizens and 2.3 million expatriates of other nations. Really, the only place I saw Qatari nationals was inside a fancy-pants shopping mall with AC cranked up to full. Many of the people I met working construction, transportation and food-service jobs--the other 88% of the country, as I understand the demographics--were Indian, Nepali, Pakistani, Filipino, Bangladeshi and Ethiopian.

[6334 hours have passed. This has become peak ridiculous.]
 
In essence, Qatar made me sad. I went to go look for an oryx antelope sanctuary but instead ended up being arrested casually by the police because I took a picture of an oil well, apparently illegal in Qatar as their economy benefits greatly from the rich, chocolatey dinosaur syrup. Thusly, the authorities and I chatted it up for a bit in the nearby police station. This was, like, the fifth time I'd been arrested in as many weeks, most of the other times being in eastern Turkey for looking suspicious/like a hobo/an American hobo in regions of conflict, so by now I more or less had the whole being-interrogated thing down pretty well. I mean, not really, but you can only detain someone for being an idiot for so long **knock on wood**. So it was that after the polizia (pretty sure that means pizza in Amerigo Vespucci-speak for you) determined I was not a threat they asked me, quite naturally, about my dating life.

"So, are you married?"
"Uh, no."
"How old are you?"
"Twenty seven."
"For you, what is a good age to be married?"
"...Twenty two?"
**Laughter**

But enough about those guys. They're all married, and like the other married people I know, dead to me.

Yes, Abkhazia.
My brother and I were in the Republic of Georgia and thought we'd have a looksee. Yes, there was a civil war going on a bit ago, but there was also a terrible, awful civil war in Bosnia and people still go there.

[7117 hours have passed, I have a problem]

Ay santo guacamole I have failed, here.

I have some great pictures of Abkhazia I'd like to share with you, but I am struggling to complete a number of tasks I am supposed to be doing in preparation for a journey far more complicated, riskier and damp than my visit to the frozen conflict zones of Abkhazia, Nagorno-Karabakh (now Republic of Arsakh), Turkish North Cyprus, or indeed, Transnistria, which was terribly interesting. To say I haven't had time to edit and share these with you in the time since you asked this question so far is totally untrue, but I've been hitting a creative wall of sorts lately across many mediums for a while now.

I am sorry.

So, Abkhazia? Yes.

Am I nuts? Probably, but I actually think Abkhazia was pretty chill, if sneaky propagandists who don't take good care of monkeys. If I have a lapse in judgement it will show with the next step.

What's next? I've already been to Transnistria, so no, not there. If you are looking for a souvenir from Abkhazia, I've long since left it. It's been even longer since Transnistria, but I might have an extra coin or two I wouldn't mind sending you (not their cool plastic money, though, since I wasn't able to get one for myself). Just send me an email at ardilla.feroz@theboard.byu.edu and we'll talk.

What is next?

I'll tell you by email, but if you watch closely over the next couple of weeks it'll start to become evident via my sign-offs. I'm excited and dreading the next couple of months.

Suerte,

--Abkhazia-dilla Feroz, who first saw this question in Baku, Azerbaijan and started to answer it in Qatar on a layover but who gave up on it in Utah

P.S. I'd recommend Atlas Obscura's recent article A Photographer’s Journey Through the Former Spas of Soviet Georgia to see cool and neglected Abkhazian buildings.

Question #91197 posted on 05/11/2018 2:39 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Hooray! School is out! Which means this question will be answered in no more than 100 hours, right?

Right?

-Judging stare

A:

Dear you,

Oh. Totally. 

-guppy of doom

A:

Dear friend,

School is not "out". It will never end. I cannot escape. Also I am lazy all the time regardless of my circumstances.

Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave

A:

Dear You clearly know us so well,

Hahahahahaha.

Like our lives ever stop being busy.

~Anathema

A:

Dear you,

I am not in school, but the five overdue questions I have are at a combined total of over 21,000 hours. Does that answer your question?
No, I am not proud of this. Rather, I disgust myself. On the plus side, I learned how to ride a motorcycle today so that is irrelevant, but encouraging.

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz

A:

Dear Ardilla,

You rejected and then attempted to slay the messenger pigeon we sent your wayagainso we've opted for an un-killable e-bird instead:

We need to talk.

-The Editors