"I thought we decided that spaghetti was much better than post-it notes." -Dragon Lady
Question #91255 posted on 05/17/2018 10:55 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is your least favorite job interview question? if you could interview someone for a job, what questions would you ask?

-recent grad who's just finished the millionth interview.

A:

Dear you,

I'm going to go with "What is your greatest weakness" and "Where do you see yourself in [time period]" on the least favorites.

My greatest weakness is probably actually a personal failing that has very little to do with my ability to adequately perform this job and is also none of ya business, Mr. Interviewer.

I hated the "where do you see yourself" questions because as someone who planned on leaving the work force to have kids I felt like answering honestly "Where do you see yourself in 5 years" with "at home with a few kids" was basically just a disqualification.

~Anne, Certainly

A:

Dear Grad,

My least favorite questions ask about specific situations, like "Tell me about a time you didn't get along with a person you work with, and how you handled the situation." That doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room if you don't have a good example of that situation, and why should my interview suffer just because I'm a delightful, agreeable person who gets along with everyone all the time?

I tend to favor open-ended questions like "How would your past experience prepare you for this position?" Questions like that allow me a greater degree of flexibility in my answer, which in turn allows the interviewer to get a better grasp on my personality and personal sense of qualification.

Personally speaking, if I were interviewing someone, I would want to get a feel for who the person is beyond their resume qualifications. If I've reviewed someone's resume and want to interview them, I already think they might be a good fit for the position based on their past experience/education. The interview would of course review that experience, but more importantly I want to see if the interviewee is someone I would look forward to working with and see as an asset to the team. So I would probably favor questions like "What is it that interests you about this position?" and "What aspects of your previous positions have you most enjoyed?"

Love,

Luciana

A:

Dear grad,

Honestly, I don't mind being asked what my greatest weakness is. I've got plenty to choose from. I know what they are and how to manage them. My employer is going to find out about them sooner or later, so I might as well get it out of the way right off the bat.

Overall, though, I really hate the interview process. I wish my interviews could look like this. In my mind, most interviews look like this. So far, I'm convinced that most of my career success has been because of my resume and in spite of my interview skills.

-yayfulness

A:

Dear Congrats,

I conducted almost 50 interviews this past January of applicants for next year's cohort at my current predoctoral clinical psychology internship. My least favorite question, though we always asked it (because you kind of have to), was "Why do you want to be here next year?" The vast majority of applicants gave generalized, boilerplate answers that could have literally applied to any internship in our field, or at least a large percentage of the internships. I zoned out two sentences in every single time. To be fair, I don't remember my own answer to that question and I'm sure it was equally mind-numbing.

My very favorite question to ask was, "If you were an animal, what animal would you be and why?" The super-serious candidates would often get really thrown by it (I had one guy tell me straight up it was a dumb question), or they would loosen up a little and you could see a little more personality. Honestly, by the time a candidate gets to the interview stage, we've seen their application and we have a pretty good sense of whether they have the experience and the skills to hack it. What we really care about is how painful it might be to have to spend a year as a supervisor/peer/client/etc. of that person. It was interesting to discover that people tend to take three main approaches to answering that question: (1) they tell you what their favorite animal is, which is NOT the question; (2) they tell you what animal they think they are most like (I'd be a chimpanzee because I'm intelligent and social and loved to climb trees as a kid); (3) they tell you what animal they would want to be, often with really different qualities than they have (the short, anxious woman says she'd be a giraffe because they are tall and serene). 

I have to say, asking that question was actually really helpful in remembering the candidates later on when we were discussing them. Some of their responses to that question were super endearing and very memorable. It's hard to forget the woman who says that she'd be a wallaby with lasagna inside her pouch.

For the record, I'd be a bat, because they are super cute and sweet, affiliated with Halloween, sleep a lot, and can fly around whenever they please. Also, some people find them a little spooky.

-Divya

A:

Dear Kvothe,

I've now been on the other side of the interviewing table many times, and I will tell you now: all of those questions you hate to answer, are the ones we love to ask.

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger

A:

Dear Recent Grad,

I was applying for crappy summer jobs a few weeks ago, and one place asked me to come work for them for free for a couple hours as my "interview." That is my new least favorite interview question.

-Alta

A:

Dear Grad,

My friend was just asked the question "How would somebody you don't get along with describe you?" at his recent job interview. It's an intriguing question, and although it might not be my least favorite it would definitely be one of the hardest ones for me to answer.

-the Goose Girl

A:

Dear recent ~

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"

Um, dude. That's a long time. Are you asking myself to commit to your company for 10 years? Really? I guess I could lie... but that doesn't seem like the best answer either. I really don't know a good answer to this question.

~ Dragon Lady 

Question #91239 posted on 05/17/2018 8:08 p.m.
Q:

Dear Married or Engaged 100 Hour Board Writers,

How did you decide who to invite to your sealing? Did you invite every aunt and uncle from each side, or endowed cousins? Were any you didn't invite upset?

How about your reception? How did you gather addresses? Is Facebook tacky for this or a good tool?

This is much harder than I expected.

-Wedding Colo(u)rs

A:

Dear Wedding,

My husband and I invited all my aunts and uncles to our sealing, but not very many of my husband's—a lot of his aunts and uncles aren't members of the Church, and he had never even met a lot of them that are, so it was a pretty easy choice for us not to invite them. We invited a few of our endowed cousins to the sealing (emphasis on few) who we had really good relationships with, but none of the rest of them. Sealing rooms have limited seating, which means inviting everybody isn't even an option, so we didn't feel too bad about not inviting everyone we knew. 

Facebook is the easiest way I know to gather addresses for invitations, and it's what we did. We created a group, and posted a link to a Google form at the top where people could give us their addresses. Instead of doing a mass invite to our entire friends list, we both went through and added people to the group individually, both to avoid annoying people who didn't want to be added to our group, and because we couldn't afford throwing a reception for our entire friends list. We weren't super exclusive about who we added to the group for invites to the reception, but we did handpick all of them. We also both got lists of people to invite from our parents.

I have no idea if anybody wanted to be invited to the sealing/reception and was upset that they weren't, because if anybody was, they had the good sense not to mention it to us. Your wedding is about you; don't spend the entire lead-up to it worrying about what other people will think. Just do what makes you and your fiance happy, because you two are probably the only ones who will still look back on the day in 20 years anyways. 

-Alta

A:

Dear Kalua,

Vienna and I basically left the decision of what family to invite up to our parents, and then filled in the extra spaces with friends and other people we knew. We did use a Facebook event, which I don't think is tacky, but a word of warning: not all of your Facebook friends may see your invitation, so you'll probably want to double-check the list and reach out to anybody who didn't fill out your form. 

So, yeah, we mostly left that decision to other people, but hey: I was finishing up my last semester of a physics degree, and she was student teaching. We kind of had a lot on our plates.

-Frère Rubik

A:

Dear you,

For the sealing, we invited the Aunts/Uncles who would conceivably attend. We may have invited all of mine, I'm not sure about my husband's (he has a lot!) We also had in the temple our bishop and his wife, the members of our bridal party who were endowed, and I think one of my cousins who was endowed. Nobody got upset with either of us about not being invited.

For our reception - we got lists from each set of parents. My parents have moved a lot and have semi-regularly sent out Christmas cards/letters, so they have a decently maintained database of names they could give me. We also had a Facebook group. I think using a Facebook group is a good tool, but probably not the ONLY thing you need to do. Some people will (wrongly) assume you already have their address or just won't want to fill it out even if they want an invitation.

Have fun wedding planning!

~Anne, Certainly

A:

Dear Brit,

We invited Tally's aunts and uncles but not mine because I have a ton and she only has a few. I mean, we had a limit on the number of people we could have in the sealing room and my immediate family filled more than half that space.

Also, I think Facebook is a great tool for inviting people. In fact, I would say that is almost the entire purpose of Facebook since I don't actually post much there but I still have like 900 friends. Who are those friends? All the people I want to maybe send wedding invites to and maybe want to get wedding invites from. You can even do the whole "Put your name and address in this google doc and we'll send you an invite" so you don't feel bad if you forget anyone because now it's their responsibility to opt in to getting an invite. You save money and time so you don't have to hand write addresses or put stickers on envelopes or anything like that. Plus, if someone unfriended you on Facebook then you know not to send an invite to them.

On the other hand, Tally and her mom think Facebook is very tacky and not a great way to invite people and very impersonal. I'll let you guess which approach we took.

-Spectre

A:

Dear puce and tangerine,

For the sealing, we invited all the aunts and uncles on both sides knowing only a fraction could come. We would have invited endowed cousins too but all were on missions. We were worried about inviting one uncle who has schizophrenia and is sometimes disruptive, but he was fine. We were glad there were a lot of other people we were close to to balance it out. My parents also invited a few close family friends.

We invited lots of people to the reception. Owlet thought a mass invite would have been tacky so she individually messaged each of her friends (or rather sent them a link to a google form to fill out). She mostly hoped contacting them personally would make it more likely for them to fill out the form and/or send us a gift. And we gave a hundred invitations to our parents to give to their friends.

-El-ahrairah

A:

Dear colores de boda,

My wife's parents and most of her family aren't active members of the Church. We eventually decided to limit the sealing to my immediate family members, since it seemed inappropriate for anyone else to be there when nobody from her family could be with us. It was the least bad of several bad options. Four years later, I still have a lot of regrets about the whole situation, but I don't think there were any better solutions available to us under the circumstances and I would probably make the same decision again.

-yayfulness

A:

Dear Wedding ~

First, we reserved the biggest sealing room Mt. Timpanogos had to offer. Then we invited all of our aunts* and uncles, siblings and spouses, 3 of my best friends over the years, and of course, parents. We filled the room quite well. We did not invite cousins. That would be insane. My grandma has 17 kids and step kids. Both of our families are large and mostly active LDS. There's just not room enough for that. No one expects it in my family.

Basically, we looked at what all my siblings had done (I'm the youngest) and gauged if that would work with Yellow's family (he's the oldest; sibling tradition had not yet been set). It did, so we went with it.

As for the reception, our parents mostly gathered addresses. My mom likes to invite EVERYONE, so we did. [shrug] Parents paid for it and more presents for me, so... not too put out by that. I wrote a list of my friends' and their addresses in a Google Sheet. If I were to do it now, I would send out a Google Form. While Facebook existed back then (10 years ago, folks!), it was not a useful tool for gathering addresses like it is now. Instead I sent a mass email, hopefully bcc, and asked people to send me their addresses if they wanted an invite. People I was close to I asked directly.

Mostly, I'm ridiculously chill and don't really care about things like this. Heck, two weeks before my wedding I went to France for a week, and pretty much left my mother-in-law in charge of everything. So if you care, maybe I'm not the one to ask.

~ Dragon Lady

*Which led to a really hilariously awkward moment when The Heartless Siren came to give us congratulations afterwards and hugged us both. When she hugged Yellow, he scratched her back, which is an inside joke (which I will share if anyone cares) and we all thought was really funny. Unfortunately a few of my aunts saw and their eyes went wide and their jaws dropped, and I'm pretty sure they thought their new nephew-in-law was cheating on me in the sealing room. Also, I recognize that THS's nym at this moment is terribly appropriate, but I swear, she had that nym LONG before our wedding.

Question #91248 posted on 05/17/2018 5:48 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I want to do family history but it seems like everyone who tries to explain what to do is assuming I have a traditional, simple family tree. My ancestors were largely drunks and deadbeats. Many were born out of wedlock and even the couples who were together for life didn't always get married. I'm not even convinced they all got birth certificates.

Can I seal couples if they never actually got married? Can kids be sealed to parents who were never married? What if family search is asking for birth dates and there aren't any birth records? What if a woman had lots of children and no one knew who the fathers were? What do I do if there are 5 different sources that all have different birth years and name variations for a person??

Any advice or resources would be greatly appreciated.

-Haaalp

A:

Dear Halpless,

No one has the perfectly nice family tree that's complete with all the proper documentation. However, if that documentation wasn't required, then there would be no way to verify any inputted information's validity; people could just create family trees that had no bearing on reality.

I would suggest getting in contact professional family history services, such as the LDS Church History Library, or BYU's Family History Library. These places will be able to help answer your more specific questions.

~Anathema

posted on 05/18/2018 3:03 p.m.
Log onto FamilySearch and you'll see the article that indicates the policy of sealing couples that were never married, plus sealing their children:

https://www.familysearch.org/ask/salesforce/viewArticle?urlname=Can-a-Couple-Be-Sealed-Who-Never-Married-or-Whose-Marriage-Date-I-Cannot-Find-1381812085539&lang=en_US

What if family search is asking for birth dates and there aren't any birth records?

Looking at location in the Wiki under the Search bar, it's common for government birth records not to be made until the late 1800s, you could find baptism records that may include their birth date in church records.

What if a woman had lots of children and no one knew who the fathers were?

You are more than welcome to add a child with an unknown father. Google certain things such as "Finding the father of an illegitimate child, genealogy" will pull up several good articles to help with your search. Starting with court records may indicate who the father was. The sealing will not be available, but you can do the other ordinances.

What do I do if there are 5 different sources that all have different birth years and name variations for a person??
Name variations are very common due to people having accents that may be misunderstood while they say their name. Plus education wasn't as common back then so not everyone could spell, let alone write. Choose the one that shows up the most in the records.
The closer you are to the birth date, the more likely the birth year is correct. People may forget what exact year they were born, and it is not always themselves who is giving the information. An 'approximate birth' is appropriate to add to their FamilyTree profile.

-A genealogy major
Question #91209 posted on 05/17/2018 4:36 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Please say you're joking.
-My Name Here

A:

Dear you,

"You're joking."

~Anne, Certainly

Question #91225 posted on 05/17/2018 11:16 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you have any terrible things that have happened to you (lately/ever) that are so terrible they're funny? I could use some solidarity and some laughs right now.

Thanks.

A:

Dear Grateful,

The only thing I can really think of is how I was having a really stressful week a while ago and then my sister called me for a ride because her car wasn't working but when I went to pick her up I discovered that my car had been towed. I then had to spend precious time that I could have used to study for my Quantum Mechanics final (and $170) to get it back from the impound lot.

I'm still not sure if I can laugh at that yet, but there you go.

-Frère Rubik

A:

Dear you,

'Twas the morning of an ill-fated day when I left my mission companion in the car to fill it up with gas. All our hard work and relatively little sleep left me feeling fuzzy, so as I stood at the gas station and blinked at the rows of buttons and different types of nozzles, I found myself unable to do what I had done almost unconsciously for the past year.

Which type of gas do I use again? I thought, my eyesight somewhat blurred as I looked at the four buttons. Oh, that's right. The cheapest one.

And I proceeded to press the button which gave me the most expensive gas. 

My four-year-old self would have been ashamed. Hadn't my mother spent months teaching me the magical ways of numbers, carefully training it into my head that one comes before two and five before seven? But here I was, twenty years old, thinking two dollars was cheaper than one dollar.

I was going to give you the rest of the story in horrific detail, but considering I'm the only writer holding this question up, I'll sum it up for you: I filled up our car with diesel fuel. I remember holding up the green nozzle to the gas tank, wondering "Doesn't this usually fit in here?", chalked it up to my fuzzy brain for not remembering if it did or not, and started filling up the car. Halfway through a horrible feeling came over me, so I went to talk to my companion, who was left speechless when she saw the nozzle in my hand. We called the senior missionary who was over cars, he called a tow truck, we lied to the members who picked us up and later dropped us off at the car shop (we told them we just had car troubles), we lied to our district leader about why we didn't have a car for a day, and the next Zone Conference we were told to "not be like those sister missionaries who filled up their car with diesel gas" while everyone laughed and our district leader glanced at us suspiciously.

It's only taken three years, but I can finally openly share this story and somewhat chuckle at it.

-guppy of doom

A:

Dear person,

My best source of dark humor to date has come from being in graduate school. Lego Grad Student exists for a reason.

-Sheebs

A:

Dear you,

I'm blessed enough that the terrible things in my life have been relatively easy to handle, but at the beginning of this year I had a succession of crappy, stressful things happen to me, and while it was not very much fun and I cried a lot, looking back at it it's vaguely amusing that life decided to wallop me so much over the course of one week.

January 1st: I wake up vaguely disappointed, because I had finagled my way into getting off work early the night before, and had been hoping to see Yossarian (whom I hadn't seen since the end of November). However, he was busy with family and not responding to my texts. So I wake up and text him something like "Can I see you today? I really miss you." I then proceed to take a shower.

When I emerge from the shower, Yossarian had actually responded to me. And his response was breaking up with me. By text, out of the blue. Less than a month after he was supposed to come to California with me to meet my family (until he bailed at the last minute), and less than two weeks after he suggested we live together. So it came as a bit of a shock, even though logically I knew it was the right move for us.

Thankfully I had the day off, so I spent most of the day crying and emotionally trying to process everything. Then, the next 4 days I worked 10-hour shifts in a role heavy with guest interaction and in which I was on stage all day. So I had essentially no time to process everything that was happening. One of those days I was the coordinator, and approximately 20 of the guests I was responsible for got stuck on a ride in the rain. And let me tell you, that was a nightmare, because the guests were soaked and unhappy. Kids were crying, and I'm pretty sure the cast members at Columbia Harbor House hate me because we left a large pile of rags on their tables because I had no time to deal with anything.

It wasn't a complete disaster, but I had to coordinate with my leaders to process refunds and add Fastpasses for people, and they were not being particularly helpful. I had time to eat about 3 bites of food before I had to dash off to continue fixing everything. Everything turned out okay, but it was more stress than I was expecting, especially considering it was my second-to-last day on the job.

January 6th: I had specifically requested the day off because it was the last day of my internship and thus the day I had to move out of my apartment and into my new one. However, the new complex I was moving into happened to be the one Yossarian lived in when we first started dating, and right next door to the place he lives now, which is why I was so excited to move there in the first place. Considering he had unceremoniously dumped me, the move was a lot sadder than I expected it to be. In addition, I was moving into the apartment with two friends, but neither of them were actually able to move in that day, so the apartment was empty and I felt really alone.

Since it was the day of moving and I was relatively broke, our apartment didn't have any furniture yet. My parents had bought me a bed for Christmas/my birthday, which was supposed to arrive on the 6th, but somehow it got delayed. So once I had lugged all my stuff up the stairs I proceeded to sit on the floor and cry about Yossarian.

I spent a few hours unpacking, then checked my phone to see a text from one of my college friends. Except it wasn't actually from that friend, it was from his Dad, letting me know that my friend had passed away from cancer, and thanking me for being his friend.

That was devastating enough, but that friend also happened to be the person I had dated last before Yossarian, so I was especially emotional about it, and spent a while crying about that as well. Between his death, the breakup, the end of my internship, and moving into a new apartment alone, I was paralyzed with loneliness and felt as though I didn't have anyone to turn to. It was a terrible, awful day. Also my bed didn't arrive for like another three days, so this was the start of three nights sleeping on the floor.

January 7th: This was an interesting day, and the calendar end to my hellish week. It was a mixed bag, because (lacking all anonymity) it was my birthday, so the dreadful sadness was interspersed with birthday wishes. It was also the first day of my new job, which is always a mildly stressful day (but on the bright side, I bonded with my coworkers really quickly because I vented to them about the week I was having). It was rough because I still felt lonely and depressed, and wasn't helped by a text from Yossarian that said "Happy birthday weekend" because my ex of 6 days apparently couldn't be bothered to know when my actual birthday was. But by that time I was emotionally drained to the point of exhaustion, and missing Yossarian way more than I should have been, because I was desperately craving his support through the rest of the upheaval in my life.

So that's the story of the most terrible week of my life. In retrospect, it's funny to think back on what a mess I was, and with a few months of perspective and emotional growth, I can laugh at the situation, plus feel very grateful for the many ways I've been blessed in the intervening time. I don't know if that gave you any laughs, but hopefully some solidarity?

Anyway, things will get better.

Love,

Luciana

A:

Dear Thanks,

The other day I told a boy I was down to go exclusive and he compared me to three dude friends. I got a bad haircut. I got soaked biking to work and my eye was twitching ALL DAY. Rejection is manageable. Being rejected and seeming completely neurotic about it is funny. Which makes you laugh. Which makes you seem more neurotic.

But today the twitching stopped and the boy gave me tamales. So yeah. I guess things work out. We didn't but things did. 

Babalugats

A:

Dear,

I was a long-term sub at a school I came to love, with teachers in the department that I respected and liked, and an unofficial understanding with the department chair and principal that I would be hired as a full-time teacher the year after. The interview went well, but I didn't get the job. The position went to another first-year teacher who had identical credentials except that he could also coach a sport. (Epilogue: because I didn't get the job I was expecting, I applied to others, and ended up working at a school that I think is an even better fit for me. And the department chair at the school that didn't hire me wrote me a glowing (and possibly guilt-ridden) letter of recommendation that helped me land my current job, so it's a happy ending, I guess.)

I also learned this year that I have a rare, incurable auto-immune disorder that may eventually cause me great(er) pain and blind me, but I was actually relieved about that, so go figure. Having a name for it at least gives me tools to learn how to deal with the symptoms. Ha HA!

-Uffish Thought

A:

Dear you,

I'm pretty sure this phenomenon is why Twitter exists.

-Ace