"Barring polygamy, you will break up with every person you date minus one." - Yellow
Question #90940 posted on 02/27/2018 11:38 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why do things still hurt when it doesn't make sense for them to? How do I deal with that?

-My Name Here

A:

Dear Friend,

It comes as a flash
Suddenly trading joy for ash
Biting deeply the core
With a promise of more

It comes as something slow
And with passing time begins to grow
Twisting and twining around the heart
Tearing it apart

It's something we feel
Being unwelcome makes it no less real
Because the hurt we bear
Is a sign we care

It's a signal from our soul
That the past doesn't come to null
For we are a sum
Composed in part of the things we've done

There is no timeline for healing
No deadline to be done "dealing"
No formula for when everything will be right
Just patience for renewal of light

~Anathema

A:

Dear you,

From my current emotional struggles, I've learned that hard and painful things don't come about individually. Emotional trauma is not separated into distinct incidents. Just because you think you're emotionally recovered from something doesn't mean it will never hurt again, especially when other things in your life may not be going so well. Therefore new pains can reopen old wounds, and pain can conglomerate in unexpected ways.

That's a super sucky thing, but it doesn't mean you're doomed to suffer forever. Every few days, I'll feel as though I'm getting better, as though I've emotionally recovered from the rather terrible month I've had, when another unfortunate thing will happen and I'll sink again. Instead of feeling optimistic or positive, I'll be reminded of all the other things that have gone wrong, and I'll feel overwhelmed. Those are hard, bitter days, and like you I wonder why I'm still in pain about incidents I thought I had gotten over. But inevitably, the next day is better. I may be feeling lost and lonely and hopeless, but when I wake up the next morning, I have renewed energy and I have more hope than I expected. That hope doesn't negate the bad days, but it tempers them and makes them feel less demoralizing.

Auto Surf sent me this picture recently, and it's illuminating when it comes to describing the process of emotional recovery:

Plot.jpg

It can sometimes be difficult to remain hopeful, because I acknowledge my flaws and weaknesses that make me susceptible to similar emotional struggles. But when it feels like my bitterness is unreasonable, or that logically I should no longer be hurting over something, I read this quote from War and Peace: "If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, the possibility of life is destroyed."

To me, this means that even if all my emotions aren't positive, emotion itself is, and it makes life joyful. Despite my pain, I don't really want my life to be ruled by reason alone, and in the long run, my pain will make me a better person. It may be a sucky process, but there is a subtle joy to the more persuasive pain.

I'm sorry you've been struggling, but you're not alone. It's not easy to sound sincere over the internet, but I love you and I would be happy to talk to you if you ever need someone, so please, feel free to email me. You are strong and amazing and I admire you.

Love,

Luciana

Question #90998 posted on 02/27/2018 10:12 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I haven't been out of the country since I was like 8 years old (so never as an adult), but I'm going to Canada in a few months and I have no idea what I need to do to prepare, so I have some dumb questions. I already have a passport, but what else do I need to do? I'm a planner, and being clueless is stressing me out.

Will my cell phone work there without charging me outrageous fees? (I have T-Mobile if that matters)

What about my credit card or cash? Can I use my credit card north of the border like normal, or do I need to worry about the difference between Canadian & US money? Do I need to exchange some money before I go or something like that?

Anything else I need to check into before I go?


Thanks,
Drucilda

A:

Dear person,

I am Canadian and I use T-Mobile precisely because it's really easy to call Canada from the US as well as to have my phone work while I am there. I have a prepaid plan and I have an add-on called "Simply Prepaid Mexico and Canada UNL Roaming". If you are postpaid I don't know what the best plan would be, but I am sure if you go into a T-Mobile store they could help you figure it out. 

Another thing you should know about using T-Mobile phones in Canada is you will want to manually select your carrier instead of letting your phone choose automatically. I find Bell and TELUS work the best. I think I may have used Freedom last time I went to Canada as well. Roger seems to only let you call, data doesn't work. Granted, I have only tried to use the phone in Calgary, Edmonton, Toronto, and Ottawa, so if you're not in a major city you may need to experiment.

My American visa debit cards work while I am there, though they seem to charge small fees when I use them. The fees didn't seem unreasonable to me. If I were you, I probably wouldn't worry too much about that. 

If you have a passport you should be able to cross the border. You probably want to get some kind of travel health insurance while you are there, though I'm not sure what to recommend.

Hope this helps. If any readers have additional recommendations, please feel free to chime in. 

-Sheebs

posted on 02/27/2018 11:39 p.m.
One thing I might add is that if you're going to be using your credit or debit cards, make sure your bank knows you're travelling. You don't want your cards deactivated on suspicion of theft if they're your primary source of money.

-The Exquisite
Question #90996 posted on 02/27/2018 7:12 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have an Instagram account called @inkaoutside for my pup. It took me many months to came up with that name. And I love it. I like the simple rhythym of the name and it reflects the nature of our account (love for the outdoors).

But, now, I have two pups, Inka and Yeti, a girl and a boy. I want the name to reflect them both.

Can you help me with a new name? We live in Tahoe and we love the outdoors, particularly mountains. They are both German Shorthaired Pointers. I like the simple sound of @inkaoutside and I don't want something cumbersome or awkward like @inkaandyetioutside.

I'm not a creative person and am completely stuck. Oh creative Board Writers, can you help us come up with our new Instagram handle?

-HerTahoeLife

A:

Dear Canoe,

@yetinkaoutside

You can have it. I want no royalties. It's all yours.

-Spectre

Question #90989 posted on 02/27/2018 7:30 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

You know how old cop cars are put up for sale and then a civilian can buy them, but all the law enforcement features of the car are removed, except for the car being black and white? Well, my question is, if a civilian is driving around a black and white car, what color is listed on the car's registration and title?

-Mrs. Longbottom, 2/22/18

A:

Dear Mrs. Longbottom,

According to the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles, "If the vehicle has multiple colors (camouflage, custom painted), select the two most predominant colors." It looks like this is pretty commonplace in most states. Thus, the car would be registered as black and white, and listed as BLK/WHI. 

-guppy of doom

Question #90993 posted on 02/27/2018 4 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

This is a question for as many of you as are willing to answer. No need to go do research, just looking for suggestions based on your own experience, if any. I am dreaming about future places to buy or build a vacation home (if and when I have the means) and am looking for location ideas. The general area I'm interested in is the Intermountain West. I'd be looking for scenic, foresty areas with mountains nearby, and reasonable proximity to decent medical services and shopping - nothing fancy, just like Walmart/Target level. A nearby major or at least regional airport would be a plus.

-Ranger Rick

A:

Dear Ranger Rick,

My dad has dreams of retiring in the Grand Tetons. (Or, well, nearby. It'd be kinda hard to retire on a famous mountain.) However, a lot of people are building vacation homes there, which isn't good for the residents and farmers currently living there. So you might want to look at Jackson Hole too. Jackson Hole has a medical center, Albertsons, Smith's, and an airport, so it looks like the perfect place for you!

-guppy of doom, with help from Anathema and Tipperary

A:

Dear Ricky,

Three cities I'd suggest are Colorado Springs Colorado, Missoula Montana, and Coeur D'Alene Idaho. Colorado Springs is in the Rockies and is the home base of the US Olympic training center. Missoula Montana is at the intersection of the Clark Fork, Bitterroot, and Blackfoot Rivers, and is close to some of Montana's many national parks. Couer D'Alene is in northern Idaho along the shore of a beautiful lake, and is a destination for golfers. I would love to in any of those cities. They're all big enough to have everything, yet also have amazing scenery and outdoors activities. If you're looking for more ideas I know Forbes makes lists like this all the time, you might want to look there. Hope this helps!

Peace,

Tipperary

Question #90986 posted on 02/27/2018 12:30 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is a magic xylophone, or something? Ha ha, boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

-Doug

A:

Dear Teach Me How To Dougie,

A regular xylophone would make the same tone, but a rib xylophone is different because ribs don’t have uniform density or shape. Steel drums are made from one continuous piece of steel, but the shape allows it to produce different tones. Also it is obviously a magical xylophone because real skeletons don’t make xylophone sounds. Also, it’s a cartoon. I hate to break it to you but cartoons aren’t even real. I know it hurts, but someone had to tell you.

Peace,

Tipperary

Question #90976 posted on 02/27/2018 12:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, what advice would you give someone who feels like they made a mistake marrying someone? They say they had a choice between two people and they chose the wrong person.

-Sunnyside

A:

Dear Sahara,

I would definitely advise a marriage counselor. But as Anne says below, for such a sensitive topic, only offer advice that has already been solicited. This is the kind of issue that merits professional help, in my opinion.

I'm not sure how to package what I'm going to say next as advice for your friend, but I would like to include it in this answer because it's pertinent to the subject: I don't believe that outside of situations along the same line as abuse there is really a wrong choice for who we marry. It's not so much much who we initially choose, but the choices we make thereafter that truly determine how much of a match someone is. This is because people are dynamic; who you marry is going to be a different person from the person you celebrate your 25th anniversary with. Thus it's the life you create together that truly makes a difference.

~Anathema

A:

Dear you,

Anathema's recommendation to seek professional advice is good. I'd also be cautious of offering advice in this situation if the person wasn't looking for it. Particularly in a very sensitive situation like this, there are a few potential advice-giving pitfalls:

1) Not knowing the whole situation. Do you know all the details about a) why she chose Guy A instead of Guy B and b) why she now feels that the choice was wrong and c) what the Guys or others may have done to contribute to those feelings and d) etc. etc. etc. If the answer to the above is "no," you run the risk of giving advice that could be not just useless but actively harmful. (For example, imagine if it turns out that her now-Husband is abusive and you don't know. You certainly wouldn't want to go on to give advice about "Well, maybe if you just give it some time...") 

2) Not knowing if the person actually wants advice. A lot of the time we go to our friends for validation of our feelings ("yeah, I felt like that once" or "ugh, I'm sorry...") rather than for solutions. It's the whole "not about the nail" thing (which both genders are actually prone to, though it may well be imbalanced the way the video suggests). Especially on a matter as a) personal and b) important as a marriage that already took place, I'd usually want to be pretty sure the person actually wanted my suggestions before I offered them.

If someone said "Anne, hypothetically what if someone had been dating two worthy, righteous priesthood holders and then married one of them and despite having a healthy and supportive relationship felt that maybe they had chosen wrong, what would you think about that?" then my thoughts would probably be along the lines of the comments President Monson made in this talk regarding making a marriage work. However, I think you'd need to be really really careful to make sure that any such advice was both a) appropriate for the person's situation and b) appropriate for you specifically to offer. 

~Anne, Certainly