Dear 100 Hour Board,
Who copied who, Chip or Crumbl?
Chip came first, but Crumbl is infinitely superior. And technically both of them copied Levain, the first giant cookie-delivery company. Besides, it's not like making cookies is such a novel business idea that two separate businesses couldn't come up with it separately (so it's not so much that they were copying each other as they both just thought it was a good idea). I wasn't able to find the exact dates for when Chip opened their doors, but it was at least a couple months before the first Crumbl opened theirs. But Crumbl just does cookies better, and in this essay I will explain why people should stop wasting their money at Chip.
- If you just want a giant cookie, they're about the same size at both Chip and Crumbl, so it's not like Chip has an advantage in that way. They also charge the same amount for a box of four cookies.
- Chip's cookies are too greasy. They literally soak through the cardboard box they come in (partially because the box is very flimsy), so if you buy them and put the box on the seat of your car as you drive home, chances are you'll end up with cookie grease on your seat. And what the heck even is cookie grease? Why are their cookies so oily? Aside from obnoxiously getting everything the box touches greasy, their weirdly oily cookies also get ALL over your hands, and they're not as fun to eat because it's such an obvious reminder that you're eating REALLY unhealthy food. Obviously a giant cookie isn't ever going to be healthy, but I don't want to feel like I'm ingesting a bucket of lard while I'm eating it.
- Chip cookies are too sweet. And if you know me, you know that I have an EXTREMELY high sweet tolerance. But come on Chip, tone it down (or at least start using semi-sweet chocolate chips instead of milk chocolate).
- You can only buy boxes of four cookies at Chip--if you just want one cookie, you're out of luck. At Crumbl, you can buy a single cookie, you can buy a box of four, or you can buy a party box with a dozen cookies. That's WAY better options.
- Crumbl has so many better flavors! Chip literally only offers chocolate chip cookies, and occasionally they'll have specialty flavors for a few weeks. But it's only ever one specialty flavor at a time, so at best they only ever have two options available, and then only for a few weeks at a time. But their specialty flavors are also so rare that even if you go to Chip every week for a whole year, you'll still probably only be able to try maybe up to seven different flavors over the course of the entire year. Crumbl, on the other hand, has a veritable plethora of flavors. Every single week they offer chocolate chip and sugar cookies (so they already have a leg up on Chip), but in addition to that they cycle out four different specialty flavors every single week. So if you're in the mood for a classic chocolate chip or sugar cookie, you'll always be in luck, but you can also get exciting flavors like Biscoff Lava, Almond Joy, Nutella Sea Salt, Coconut Lime, Raspberry Cheesecake, or Funfetti. And it's fun to see what four flavors they'll have every week. Sometimes it will be a lineup of crowd favorites or sometimes it will be all new and exciting flavors, but they're always delicious, and even if you don't like one of them, you have five other flavors to choose from every single week. I could rant about this point for days, but seriously, Crumbl is infinitely more creative with their flavors.
- Crumbl cookies are good the day after you buy them. Heck, I even like some of their flavors better after they've been in the fridge for a day. Chip cookies, on the other hand, do not age well, so unless you can eat a box of four 18-pound cookies in one sitting (yes, I know they're not actually 18 pounds each), you're going to have to throw them away. Chip cookies are good warm because they're so gooey and yummy, but when they're cold you realize that part of the gooeyness is that they're undercooked in the middle. So when they've cooled down you're left with weird congealed yet still raw dough at the center, and it's not great.
- The ambiance at Crumbl is nicer. It smells like fresh-baked cookies, they have cute pink boxes and nice tables to sit at while you eat or even just while you wait for your cookies, their storefronts are nice, they have good lighting, it's a lovely experience. Meanwhile, Chip is located in some crumbling building next to a bunch of construction on a busy street with hardly any parking. Inside the lighting is stark, it mostly just smells like sugar without the warm vanilla-y scent of cookies, they don't have tables to sit at, and the customer area is so small that it's often overcrowded.
- Crumbl is more diversified. You can also buy ice cream there, based on their most popular cookie flavors!
- Crumbl is better at social media. Every week they have a cute video where they debut their specialty flavors of the week, and it's a delight to see those videos on my Instagram feed. Also, one time last year Chip's Instagram said they had Biscoff cookies, but when I went in they told me they were out and hadn't bothered to update their Instagram, and let me tell you, that was a huge let-down.
- Crumbl just won Best of State. If you don't believe me about their superiority, believe all the other people who prefer Crumbl over Chip. True, Chip won Best of State last year, but Crumbl won it for 2019. I like to think that means that people are finally realizing that they should have been eating at Crumbl all along.
That whole rant aside, though, if someone offers me a free cookie from Chip you better believe I'll still accept it. A cookie is still a cookie, and although I sound like I despise Chip in this answer, I really don't. But what I've found is that every time I get cookies there, I end up sort of disappointed, and after spending $10 on cookies you deserve better than disappointment. I've never been disappointed with Crumbl. In fact, I'm usually giddy with excitement about trying their flavors! So, Yoda, the moral of this answer that's probably much longer than you bargained for, is that even though they opened their doors a little later than Chip, Crumbl just does cookies better and you should spend your money there instead of at Chip.