Whenever he thought about it, he felt terrible. And so, at last, he came to a fateful decision. He decided not to think about it. ~John-Roger and Peter McWilliams
Question #92590 posted on 09/11/2019 11:04 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is your ideal breakfast?

-El-ahrairah, who likes a good breakfast burrito

A:

Dear El-Mo,

Ideally I would be having breakfast at a buffet where I can consume all of the breakfast items in dubious amounts. And the breakfast is on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. And it's noon.

However, also feel compelled to choose a single, ideal, breakfast dish. For me that dish is eggs benedict. A fluffy buttery english muffin, a nice thick slab of canadian bacon, and a soft billowy poached egg all topped off with a sea of delicious hollandaise sauce. It doesn't get better than that no sirree.

Peace,

Tipperary 

A:

Dear Trickster God, Mr. Steal Yo’ Turkey Bacon, Wordsmith Extraordinaire,

Allow me to be the grouchy old man of this group by declaring: oatmeal. Not just any oatmeal, mind you. You’ve gots to have the proper fixin’s, see. Mix in some brown sugar, cinnamon, and some mixed berries (or, heck, even just blackberries), and you’ve got yourself a solid foundation upon which to build the rest of your day. 

(Protip: using frozen berries totally works here because you can stir them in right after the oatmeal is done cooking and they will help cool it down as they thaw, all the while leaking their delicious juices into the mix.)

However, it should also be said that my favorite parts of breakfast are things that could not, on their own, constitute what I consider a substantial breakfast, namely: toast, yogurt, hashbrowns, and bacon. 

-Frère Rubik also likes scrambled eggs, cooked Alton Brown-style, but he makes those for dinner more often than he does so for breakfast. 

A:

Dear El-Ahrairah,

Most days I don't eat any breakfast at all, so if I guzzle down a protein shake or a Naked juice in the morning it's a good day and I know I'm off to a great start. But for the sake of this question let's suppose I actually ate this meal you're speaking of. Nothing beats a good breakfast sandwich! Toast an English muffin or a bagel, put bacon or sausage, hash browns, cheese, and a slightly runny fried egg on it, and drizzle with hot sauce. Perfection.

-Alta

A:

Dear El-ahrairah,

Oh let me tell you what my ideal breakfast has been for the last 4 months!

So pregnancy, real fun stuff when it comes to cravings. Mine? Cinnamon.

First trimester I could hardly eat anything substantial... except cinnamon sugar toast. I would sometimes eat up to seven pieces per day when I was feeling really nauseous. Carl would make me toast in the morning and I would be sad if he got me toast without the cinnamon sugar. It wasn't as good! But he quickly understood when I asked for toast, it meant cinnamon sugar toast. 

Then the second trimester came around and I got to eat more normal food and it's the best!!! Instead of eating my usual toast, I switched over to Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the breakfast of champions. I ate three of those boxes before Carl mentioned that he found Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros at the grocery store. Highly recommend. They're much fluffier and airy than the original, (I never thought I would describe cereal as fluffy), plus there's more cinnamon sugar as the additional texture grabs ahold of its sugary goodness. I also single-handedly ate that box as well!

I then realized it probably wasn't the healthiest thing to eat twice a day with all that sugar... I became so much more sophisticated and switched to Cinnamon Life. I'm now on my fourth box, and the fifth is sitting right next to it on the top of my fridge. I eat it as a midnight snack because cinnamon.

And that my friends, is my ideal breakfast... for now. 

-Goldie Rose

A:

Dear El,

It depends on the day. Sometimes I'm in the mood for hot chocolate and toast, other days it's muffins and grapefruit, or a goat cheese omelet, waffles, french toast, fresh fruit in cream, a smoothie, yogurt and granola (or just plain yogurt), pancakes, or whatever else currently strikes my fancy.

~Anathema

A:

Dear trickster,

Cereal. I love basically all cerealSpecial K, Frosted Mini Wheats, Honey Smacks, Cheerios—you name it. So I am blessed enough to get to have my ideal breakfast every single day.

That being said, I'm with Altathere's something about a good breakfast sandwich that's just kinda irresistible. I would just probably have it along with a bowl of cereal.

Sincerely,

Cerulean

A:

Dear El, 

I wake up in a simple Scandinavian inspired A-frame cabin in the Swiss Alps. I smell something warm and sweet wafting in the air. I pull on a silken robe over my PJs and slide into a pair of soft slippers as I shuffle to the kitchen. There waiting for me is my handsome Pebble with fresh cinnamon rolls, an orange juice smoothie, and a sunny-side-up egg on a piece of buttered toast, with fresh strawberries washed in a bowl on the counter. I eat slowly and take time to enjoy all the flavors. All is right in the world. 

Though I guess since I can't have that on a regular basis, my realistically ideal breakfast is probably French Toast (with real maple syrup, obviously), a smoothie, and scrambled eggs with zucchini, tomato, bacon, cheese, and green onion. I like to have something sweet and something salty, plus a smoothie or lemon water to wake me up. 

Cheers, 

Guesthouse

A:

 Dear You, 

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- Ron Swanson

A:

Dear El-ahrairah,

Avocado toast with a poached egg atop. 

Guess I'm never owning a home after all...

-guppy of doom