"I like fiery passion, actually." - Olympus
Question #92557 posted on 09/08/2019 11:48 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's something or multiple things you've accomplished this year that you're really proud of? (Serious and silly answers are acceptable.)

-Goldie Rose

A:

Dear Goldie, 

I made it through my second year with a 4.0 GPA, which took a lot of work and I'm really proud of. 

I also have been working on being more confident with myself and my decisions, and I think I've made a lot of progress with that. It's been hard, because I think I naturally feel a lot of unnecessary guilt and anxiety about disappointing people... but I think I've felt less like that lately, and if I do feel that way, I choose not to care. It has made me feel a lot happier! 

On the Board, I've been really trying hard to have my answers completed by 100 hours, and I've done a pretty good job sticking to it. There are only a few that I've taken longer on, and only when it feels justifiable to write a really good answer. 

Also, this September will be a year that I've been a writer, and I think I'll hit 365 answers by then, which I am super proud of. (For those looking at the stats, that only counts the ones attributed to my 'nym. The 365 includes any secret 'nyms and anonymous answers.)

Cheers, 

Guesthouse

A:

Dear Goldie,

  • I presented my research at a research conference in Nebraska
  • I got an award for excellence in undergraduate mathematics for the third year in a row
  • I was on the Dean's list for my college
  • I spoke at my college graduation (also, I graduated with my Bachelors y'all)
  • I got my own apartment and am living by myself for the first time (it's pretty dang fantastic)
  • I went out of the US for the first time on a trip to Japan
  • I got my first real job, which turns out to be something of a dream job for me (it's pioneering doing data science at a company)
  • I am completely financially independent (I have my own insurance, benefits, and everything)
  • I got my first car (which unlike SNB, I was not able to just pay cash for, but hey, at least the car payments will raise my credit score)
  • At some point, I hit over 1,000 answers written for the Board
  • I might just have found someone to start referring to as Newton in my answers. Stay tuned.

~Anathema

A:

Dear Goldie,

  • I made the Dean's List in my college
  • I scored in the top 5% nationally of a test I had to take to get my teaching license
  • I got my teaching license and graduated
  • I moved to a real apartment and had a blast decorating it
  • I got a real job and started teaching last week
  • I kept at least some of my houseplants alive
  • I almost kept several basil plants alive (even though they all ultimately died)
  • I finally found a foundation that's a good match for my skin tone
  • I read 100 Years of Solitude, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, in Spanish, which was a slog but I'm proud of myself for finally doing it

-Alta

A:

Dear G-Ro,

I presented some original research at a conference! It was awesome to attend the conference and I'm really glad I went. Not only do I feel accomplished for doing it, but I'm also super hyped to do more research!

Also, it's not really an accomplishment on my part, but somehow I'm in a relationship with the most amazing woman and we're gonna go on a road trip together! So that's very exciting.

Peace,

Tipperary

A:

Dear you,

I present to you Sunday Night Banter's list of wonderful accomplishments:

  • I graduated in April and have been enjoying the graduate life
  • I recently celebrated my three year wedding anniversary which I think is a big deal 
  • I started a real estate brokerage with my brother and am now a young entrepreneur & business owner 
  • I got back into cycling and have been loving it
  • My wife and I decided we needed a new car but didn't want to go in debt and we paid cash (that was an awesome feeling y'all)
  • The dryer in our basement apartment broke and I figured out how to fix it on my own
  • My wife and I planted tomatoes and they are actually growing
  • I've done pretty well at keeping my journal up-to-date
I am hoping to have several more accomplishments added to this list by the end of 2019, so stay tuned!
 
-Sunday Night Banter
A:

Goldie,

I have tried a zillion new things this year. I have been mostly terrible at them, but I tried them. I have big failed on like every big thing I've tried. But I tried again. To be honest, most of this I was absolutely terrified to do. That's a big part of why I'm proud of them. 

I sailed to the Bahamas with my best friend and her family. It was scarier than I expected adventure would be. The planning, the people, the swimming--all terrifying. But I had an amazing time and willed myself to do some hard things. I started thinking of myself as someone who can, who does, and who is just as effective as everyone else. As soon as I did, my progress accelerated big time, and I'm proud of that. 

I learned to cruise timber and keep up with my crew. I started out constantly behind and stressed but now I can tell I'm an effective member of the team and I'm proud of that. 

I moved even though I didn't want to. I only moved an hour from my friends and family in Provo, but it was hard for exactly all the reasons I thought it would be. I stuck with it and I'm proud of that.

I went solo camping for the first time. I ended up bottoming out my car and getting stuck real bad. I pitched my tent, talked to my neighbors who promised to help in the morning, and went to sleep. All night I felt like an absolute idiot, worried about my parent's car and what they would say, and imagined animals outside my tent. But in a weird way, I woke up proud of myself. It was an awful experience, but I had tried something new which no one had ever taught me to do. There are a lot of things I want to do which no one in my life really does. So as foolhardy as it sounds, I have to have stupid experiences to figure them out. This felt like a start, and I'm proud of that. 

I took up climbing. This is one of those things that no one in my life does. But it's also one of those things I can't figure out by myself. I can't afford the gear and memberships. It's dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. But I took the plunge and bought the shoes, and started asking for help. So I picked up a new hobby and invested in it, but I also started reaching out to people for help and I'm proud of that. 

I had my first kiss  eww no don't talk about that, gross. I mean the relationship didn't work out, and it's not really the kiss I'm proud of. It's just that I challenged my dating anxiety in a big way, and stayed long enough to figure things out for real. That meant constantly taming the fight-or-flight attitude I usually have. I didn't allow myself to be angry and I didn't allow myself to run away and I'm proud of that. 

That's just a few things, but they're good examples of some of the deeper progress I've made. That story can be summed up a little like this:

I have been in an accelerated process of recognizing just how insecure I am and fighting through it. I have made a million choices in spite of insecurities that directly oppose them. The strangest thing is how acutely I felt insecure throughout, and how I still feel those insecurities. Like, I haven't let them hold me back in practice, but emotionally I've been a mess the whole time. But it's allowed me to observe my insecurity closer than I ever have before and I think now I have a really good shot at changing them forever. And then, because I did all the stuff anyway I am actually just better at them. I have amazing experiences to show for it. I've also been identifying my real actual desires and letting myself have them. I have a better focus on exactly what I want out of life, and I believe I can get it, and I actually make plans to get there. That's a new feature for me. And I also think I've learned enough about myself to turn around and pay more attention to others. 

So yeah, I'm a better person and I'm proud of that. 

Babalugats

A:

Dear Goldie,

For starters, I became a Board writer! Is that too easy of an answer?

I also got up enough nerve to actually submit something I've written into a competition; I submitted a short story earlier this summer to the Old School RuneScape developer team for a recently held "write your own lore" competition revolving around a major content release. My submission didn't end up making the cut, but it was a valuable learning experience that helped me better identify my strengths and weaknesses in my fiction, so I'm glad I at least made the effort. (I suppose this answer is as good a time as any to note that yes, I still religiously play on the Old School servers, because despite all appearances I haven't actually grown up one bit since 2007.) Just submitting something has helped me pay more attention to the flow of my writing and where I can improve.

Speaking of Old School RuneScape, I also recently went from being a lowly junior moderator in a relatively well-known clan to a senior moderator, which was a good affirmation for me that communication, conflict management, and interpersonal skills are important and valuable even in something as seemingly trivial as the day-to-day ins and outs of community in an MMO, and I ought to continue working to refine them. Also, that my communication skills are not as weak as I often believe them to be. Should I be proud enough of all this to write it publicly? Maybe not. But it matters to me, so I'm sharing it.

Genuinely,

9S

A:

Dear Goldie,

  • Getting married.
  • Getting into grad school.
  • Applying for real adult jobs and not being automatically rejected by some of them.
  • Buying furniture for and decorating my first ever unfurnished apartment. This includes making bedside tables and a screen to separate the bed from the room (yay studio apartments!).
  • Getting good enough at Assassin's Creed that I now want to take the controller from minnow when he's playing because he's not doing it right. (For all the gamers I played games with: I'm sorry. I now understand why you were so upset when I kept falling off that ledge a million times.)

-guppy of doom

A:

Dear Rosy Gold,

I realized after reading over other writers' answers that there are some cool things that I did in the past year. I finished my mission in the Philippines, I survived my first semester back at BYU, I got accepted into two part-time jobs (at different points in the year) that I really enjoy, and I GET TO WRITE FOR THE BOARD! Currently, this upcoming semester is looking pretty great and I'm stoked; I just hope that it continues going great.

-Inklings

A:

Dear Goldie,

I don't know if this counts because I haven't quite finished, but I'm quite pleased with the progress I've made, so I think it does.

A year ago, I decided I wanted to read more because I used to read a ton, but I just kinda stopped before my junior year of high school. So from August to December last year I read a bunch of books and I felt like I was doing okay, but when I heard about the Pioneer Book 2019 Reading Challenge in January I decided that would be a great way to motivate me. Basically Pioneer Book has a list of 44 categories and if you read a book from each one before the end of the year, they will give you $50 store credit!! Which at a used book store like Pioneer Book is at least 7 or 8 books :)

As of today, I have 14 books left to read, so I think I'll be able to do it. If anyone has recommendations for a Pulitzer Prize winner or nominee, a National Book Award winner or nominee, or a Hugo or Nebula winner or nominee, let me know! Those are some of the categories I have left.

Sincerely,

Cerulean

posted on 09/09/2019 1:03 p.m.
Cerulean: For the Hugo Award Winner, you should read "The Three Body Problem" by Liu Cixin--it's the first Asian novel to ever win the Hugo (originally written in Mandarin but there's a good English translation) and I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Question #92589 posted on 09/08/2019 10:38 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have spent a lot of money on textbooks and while trying not to feel sorry for myself I started wondering, what is the most expensive textbook or course packet that the BYU bookstore sells and what major/class is it for? Just trying to make my grass greener while I satisfy my curiosity.

-Skinny Wallet

A:

Dear SW,

There's a list on this site from 2014. It looks like the most expensive book is for those poor Psychology students, as the APA Handbook of Sexuality & Psychology is about $400! I tried emailing the bookstore and seeing if there's been any updates, but it's been 244 hours and they still haven't responded. If I do get a response though I'll add it as a correction!

-guppy of doom

Question #92578 posted on 09/08/2019 10:36 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My husband has totally lost his sex drive. He thinks that since we fell in love and waited until we were married to have sex, sex isn't a need and we don't need to do it that often. I want more sex to feel connected to him. What are some good lds resources that talk about sex as a need/in general?

Sexless in Seattle

A:

Dear Sexless,

I'm sorry about that. I also feel like sex is a very powerful way to stay connected to your spouse. I don't have good recommendations about good Church resources that talk about sex as a need. In fact, I don't think that's where I would even start if I were in your shoes. I would recommend talking from your heart and letting him know why you waited to have sex with him in the first place. Help him understand where your sexual desire is coming from. Is it because you want to feel wanted? Is it because you have some sexual tension built up and need a healthy way to release it? Is it because you feel like sex is one of the most vulnerable ways to connect with a spouse? 

I think if you can help him understand how you view sex, not how the Church or Church leaders view sex, then you'll get a better response. If you continue to struggle with this in your marriage, it might be worth going to a sex therapist. If you decide to go, please know that there is nothing shameful about seeing a therapist. In fact, I think it's actually a pretty noble thing to do.

Good luck and good sex!

-Sunday Night Banter

A:

Dear Sleeping in Seattle,

I'll link some LDS resources that talk about this. However, I think you may need more than just showing him these books/articles/talks. If you haven't already, talk with him about why you want more sex. Even if he thinks it isn't a need, he can hopefully understand that it's something his wife wants, which may make him more open to it. Talk and see if his low sex drive is due to his natural self (some people naturally have higher or lower sex drives), or due to any problems or feelings lately, as things like depression may impact sex drives.

"Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments" by Elder Holland. 

Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality coach and counselor. While I haven't read or listened to any of her stuff, my coworker highly recommends her.

Sexual Wholeness in Marriage.

And They Were Not Ashamed.

This article has some good advice and resources.

Finally, there's some good quotes here.

-guppy of doom 

A:

Dear friend,

I saw an advertisement in the JFSB for a website that you might be interested in. Here is the website. 

-Inklings

posted on 09/09/2019 1:03 p.m.
Kristin B. Hodson is a great resource- she's one of the co-authors of a book that guppy of doom linked to above, but she's also really active on Instagram, with small helpful tips and questions to help you think about sex, and encourage communication. I've loved when she'll open it up as a forum for her readers to share their own experiences- it could definitely help the question asker feel less alone. In general, it's just a quick and easy way to get info and a community.
Her website is kristinbhodson.com and her instagram handle is @kristinbhodson.

If the question asker is looking for more, she's also the founder of "The Healing Group" a mental health center centered around sex positivity with clinics around Utah.
posted on 09/09/2019 2:32 p.m.
Please encourage your husband to visit with his doctor. Loss of sex drive could be the result of a medical condition or a side effect of medications. I know you asked for resources to show him why sex is important in a relationship, but there should also be a conversation with a doctor.
posted on 09/10/2019 9:44 p.m.
I would recommend reading "Love and Marriage" by Sister Wendy W. Nelson, President Nelson's wife. It talks a lot about the importance of intimacy and why we should express love deeply and often.
Question #92598 posted on 09/08/2019 3:42 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

During Fall and Winter semester I heard that the library alone uses 4 miles of toilet paper a day. If that’s true, how many miles of toilet paper does BYU campus use per day??

- just roll with it

A:

Dear Proud Mary, 

Based on the corrections given on Board Question #84468, I'd like to make an estimate assuming a $250,000 toilet paper budget for a semester (why not overestimate, right?). Assuming we're working with $2.50 a roll that's 100,000 rolls a semester, divided by 120 days gives us about 833 a day. 

Most industrial size TP rolls are about 1000 feet long. So, with a little bit of basic math...

833 rolls x 1000 ft = 833,000 ft / 5280 = 157 miles 

Of course, we probably want to have a little bit of wiggle room, because there are smaller bathrooms on campus that don't use the big rolls, and I gave an overestimated budget. I think it's safe to say BYU campus uses between 130 and 160 miles of toilet paper every day. 

If other campus janitors or resource distributor employees have knowledge that would make this estimate more accurate, please enlighten us. I tried to find and reach out to the leader of the custodial warehouse and such but was met with a confusing web of bureaucracy. 

Cheers, 

Guesthouse