I really wish people wouldn't say this. I even wish other men I know wouldn't say it. It's counterproductive. Often we complain about the saying "boys will be boys" - pointing out that saying is provides justification for boys to do things that they probably shouldn't, and perpetuates the idea that certain toxic behaviors are acceptable as long as they're gendered.
I think saying "men are trash" does exactly the same thing. It makes it seem like the general state of existence for men is being a bad person. In that way, it justifies bad behavior and continues the idea that certain toxic behaviors are 1) inherently masculine (which they're not) and 2) to be expected (which they shouldn't be)
Doesn't it seem like the best way to act is to hold everyone to a standard of equality, where we all are expected to be respectful and treat each other as equals, and then only the people who fall from that expectation receive rebuke? That way instead of doing what we do and creating these statements of stereotype (She's so crazy! Men are trash. Throw like a girl. Don't be a sissy. Grow a pair!) everyone has the baseline of respect and value, and the people who violate that through bad behavior (criminal or otherwise) are punished and the rest of us get to move on.
But that's not where we're at right now. My point is, there are obviously men out there who suck. There are men who are physically, emotionally, verbally, and spiritually abusive. Of course there are (and of course there are women out there like this too!) And lots of really unfortunate things happen to enough women that there is an outcry - and that can't be ignored. But (at the risk of being incredibly trite and responding with a phrase notorious in the feminist community) not all men are like that.
Men are valuable. I do not believe in specifying stereotypical "masculine" traits that I can identify that give you worth... I don't think it's fair for me to say "men are worthwhile because they are strong, stable, logical, hardworking, intelligent, etc." because 1) women have these traits as well 2) not every man possesses these traits, and 3) having good traits isn't what gives you worth. You are important and cherished because, as a man and as an individual person, you bring unique characteristics, feelings, thoughts, and talents to life. Your life isn't worthwhile simply because of your role in relation to other people either. You don't have to be a father, a boyfriend, a husband, a brother, a son, etc. for you to matter. You matter because you are.
I haven't met you, so I don't know what those unique things are. But I do know Pebble, and you asked for stories to make you feel worthwhile, so I'll illustrate my idea by telling you about my amazing fiance.
Pebble doesn't care much for gender roles. He is unique in that he cares about developing traits that he considers valuable that other people might consider feminine. He is working on learning to cook right now, because he wants to make sure that that's not something that is solely my responsibility in our relationship. He's not very good at it yet, but I can see how he's learning and working hard at being able to follow recipes and get some 'kitchen intuition.' Even when he doesn't cook dinner, he'll clean the dishes for me. He hates doing dishes and getting wet, but he does it as a way to show that he's grateful. He also likes to spend time with me looking at Pinterest as we plan to live in our own apartment. He sends me interior design posts that he likes when he sees them.
Pebble is also unique because he is very studious and dedicated. He spent over 36 hours cumulatively researching every possible thing about my engagement ring. He compared and contrasted different types of gemstones for value, price, durability, light reflection, colors, etc. Then he learned about different shapes and cuts of gems. He researched different metals and finish types for rings. He learned about different ways to set the gems. He made a to-scale design in Illustrator, measured it out and everything, bought the gems himself, and took them into a custom jeweler with everything worked out. My ring is incredibly simple, but every time I see it I am reminded of how deliberate Pebble is about everything he does. He puts time into the people he cares about.
Pebble is unique because he is incredibly witty. I am quite an anxious person, and when I'm stressed I do a fair amount of crying. Pebble has mastered the art of listening to me talk about my feelings, and when I've just about finished my crying, he'll crack a joke and make me laugh. He knows to let me process the hard things and then will pick me up with his wit and sense of humor. I love to see him make other people laugh when we hang out with friends too. It makes me proud to see him make other people happy.
Pebble is special because he recognizes my worth and works with me to achieve my goals. He doesn't try to tell me what to do, he truly respects me and treats me as his equal. I feel happy knowing we are going to work together as we figure out life, and that I am not just expected to abandon my aspirations because I'm a woman. I appreciate that he is a thinker and a questioner and a feeler all at once.
I hope you know that women who propose to be feminist (read: egalitarian) that use phrases like "men are trash" are diminishing in numbers, and those who do say things like that are getting pushback from those of us who are more interested in progress than being angry. We're getting there, I think. Just please don't assume that because one too many women said something like that means that feminism is bad and women are all vengeful and emotional tyrants. Not all women are like that either.
You are valuable and appreciated. I promise.