"Women can tell you how many degrees (Fahrenheit and Celsius, to say nothing of Kelvin) it was outside." -Optimistic. on first kisses
Question #91386 posted on 08/29/2018 7:10 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Can you get me a dialogue sample of the screenplay, “Pride and Prejudice” with Dwayne Johnson cast as Elizabeth Bennett?

-My Name Here


Dear person,

I have secured a dialogue sample that matches the description you provided. (I copied/transcribed/paraphrased phrases from the following sources: Project GutenbergYouTube [caution: lots of profanity], and Moana.)


ELIZABETH is sitting at a desk reading a letter, her right eyebrow raised. A bell rings. Her expression briefly changes to an open-mouthed smile. The door opens and DARCY walks quickly into the room. Elizabeth's lips retract into her mouth. Nevertheless, she waves briefly and awkwardly, and runs a hand over her bald head. 

(in a rushed manner)        
How is your health?

Elizabeth pauses for several moments.

(clears throat awkwardly)       
What's on your mind?

Darcy sits down in an empty chair for a few moments, then stands up and paces on the opposite side of the room from Elizabeth for several minutes. Elizabeth looks at her watch and flexes her arm muscles threateningly. After several more minutes, Darcy approaches Elizabeth.

In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not repressed.
You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

Elizabeth's discomfort vanishes. She snorts slightly and stares, trying to keep her face straight.

(still agitated)       
Against my better judgment, and that of my entire family, and despite your obvious inferiority,
I confess my 
feelings of deep attraction to you. Though your family - which includes you -
is collectively a disgrace to society, something about you compels me to love you.

(using relatively dramatic hand gestures)       
So, you think I'm pretty cool. But you feel like a loser because of that? 

(agitated but unabashed)       
In spite of my endeavors to conquer it, I love you still. I hope I will be
rewarded by your acceptance of my hand. Elizabeth, will you marry me?

If you start singing, I'm going to throw up.

Darcy is clearly surprised, but says nothing.

(in a manner appropriate for a motivational speech)              
You haven't even started being a good guy. I don't know about you,
but I had my wake up call. It's your turn. Let me just speak from my gut;
I don't have anything prepared. Man, as you have your goals and ambitions,
further on down the line, this idea that you can have anything you want -
which you have heard since you were a little boy -
you gotta be ballin'. 

And this is all the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting.

My conclusion is that Dwayne is cool but, as predicted by Anne, Certainly, he does sound a little out of place in the England-in-the-1810s setting.


Question #91348 posted on 05/23/2018 8:18 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Imagine if America, in some alternate timeline, opted for kings instead of presidents.

How many kings would we have gone through since 1776, and who would they have most likely been?



Dear ALT+1,

First, let's make some assumptions.

  1. The monarchy will be hereditary.
  2. It will follow the English rule of primogeniture (although the parts about religion will all be thrown out).
  3. It will switch from male-preference primogeniture to gender-neutral primogeniture sometime between 1920 (passage of the 19th Amendment) and 2011 (when the English monarchy made the switch).
  4. George Washington will be the first king.
  5. Wikipedia will be used as far as it is available, after which FamilySearch will be the preferred source.
  6. Adopted children, illegitimate children, and children without both a recorded birth date and a recorded death date will be excluded.
  7. For simplicity's sake, we're ignoring the butterfly effect as far as is reasonably possible. Most likely, the life stories of all of these people would be extremely different if they were actual American royalty, but we're going to assume that nobody died sooner or later in this alternate world than in the real world, and that nobody had more or less children than they in fact had.
  8. For simplicity's sake, I'm assuming that every birth and death occurred on January 1 of the relevant year.

Sound good? Okay. Now, here are the rules of primogeniture.

  1. Under male-preference primogeniture, all male children are treated as being older than all female children. Under gender-neutral primogeniture, the actual birth order is respected.
  2. In theory, the monarch is succeeded by their first child, who is then succeeded by the child's first child, and so on for eternity.
  3. If the monarch's first child dies, the throne passes to the monarch's first child's first child. In other words, death of a child doesn't remove that child's children from the order of succession.
  4. If at any point someone dies leaving no living descendants, their oldest sibling is next in line.
  5. If at any point someone dies leaving no living descendants and no living siblings, their royal parent's oldest sibling is next in line.
  6. Spouses are meaningless. The throne only ever passes to blood family.

So with that, let's get started! Our first king is

King George I Washington

Born in 1732, acceded to the throne in 1776 at age 34, and died in 1799 at age 67 after a reign of 33 years.

George I had no children of his own - he was most likely left sterile after a bout of smallpox in 1751, although when he married the widowed Martha Custis he adopted her two children. Because of that, the throne would pass to a descendant of his father Augustine.

Augustine's oldest son died as an infant. His second son, Lawrence, died in 1752 and none of Lawrence's children lived to adulthood. His third son, Augustine Jr., died childless in 1762. George I was Augustine's fourth son (and first by his second wife); next in line would be Augustine's fifth son, Samuel.

Samuel died in 1781 (he was preceded in death by four wives and two children - be grateful for modern medicine, people). His oldest son Thornton died in 1787 in his late 20s, but not before having three or four children of his own, if FamilySearch is to be believed. Thornton's oldest son Thomas died in 1794 as a child, but his second son (George I's brother's grandson) would have been

King John I Washington

Born in 1783, acceded to the throne in 1799 at age 16, and died in 1841 at age 58 after a reign of 42 years.

John has 12 children listed on FamilySearch. His oldest son was

King Lawrence I Washington

Born in 1811, acceded to the throne in 1841 at age 30, and died in 1856 at age 45 after a reign of 15 years.

As far as FamilySearch knows, Lawrence never married or had children. John I's second son appears likely to have died young (no death date is listed), and his third and fourth children were daughters and therefore passed over by the rules of male-preference primogeniture, so the fourth king would have been Lawrence I's brother

King Benjamin I Washington

Born in 1820, acceded to the throne in 1856 at age 36, and died in 1872 at age 52 after a reign of 16 years.

Benjamin I had two sons and three daughters, in that order. His oldest son was

King John II Washington

Born in 1846, acceded to the throne in 1872 at age 26, and died in 1929 at age 83 after a reign of 57 years.

John II did not marry and had no children. His brother Franklin died in 1915 and had one son, Lawrence, whose death is not recorded. It's possible that Lawrence would have been the next king, but since Family Search has no record of his existence after 1910 we will skip over him and go to John II's sister

Queen Fannie I Washington

Born in 1853, acceded to the throne in 1929 at age 76, and died in 1930 at age 77 after a reign of one year.

She's the first queen in a line of six monarchs, but she doesn't last very long. She has numerous children attributed to her on FamilySearch, but the oldest of whom we have a meaningful record is

King John III Delehanty

Born in 1888, acceded to the throne in 1930 at age 42, and died in 1965 at age 77 after a reign of 35 years.

I'm guessing that if the monarchy actually existed, John III would keep the Washington family name rather than adopting his father's last name, but this is all a fictional interpretation so we can do whatever we want here. John has two children listed on FamilySearch, born in 1921 and 1922. It's possible that he had one or more children born before 1920 who are still alive today and therefore don't show up on FamilySearch, but that's unlikely enough that we will assume he did not. As it turns out, it doesn't matter whether male-preference primogeniture is replaced by gender-neutral primogeniture in 1920, because John III's son John (the younger of the two children) died in 1940 at the age of 18. This means that, as far as we know, with John III's death the throne passed to his only living child

Queen Margaret I Delehanty

Born in 1921, acceded to the throne in 1965 at age 44, and died in 1994 at age 73 after a reign of 29 years.

FamilySearch does not record a spouse or children for Margaret I, but it is entirely reasonable to believe that her husband and any children might still be alive today.

Assuming that she did die childless and had no additional siblings, though, the line would pass back to the next male sibling of John III (since the transition from male-preference primogeniture to gender-neutral primogeniture is not retroactive), Thornton Augustin Washington Delehanty. Thornton died in 1971 and his wife died in 1951, but it's entirely reasonable that they could have had at least one child who is alive today. So, regardless of whether the throne would pass to Margaret I's child or her cousin, we would almost certainly be living under the rule of the ninth king or queen in the Washingtonian line.

So, to recap, the nine monarchs of the Washingtonian line are:

  1. King George I (1776-1799)
  2. King John I (1799-1841)
  3. King Lawrence I (1841-1856)
  4. King Benjamin I (1856-1872)
  5. King John II (1872-1929)
  6. Queen Fannie I (1929-1930)
  7. King John III (1930-1965)
  8. Queen Margaret I (1965-1994)
  9. Unknown (1994-present)

In timeline form, it looks like this:

kings and queens of the united states 3.png

And as a family tree, it looks like this (with monarchs' names in all caps):

kings and queens of the united states 2.png

So there you have it: the royal lineage of the United States.

As flawed as the current system is, I think it's probably better than this.


p.s. After finishing this answer, I did some digging and found a couple other sources that don't fit neatly into the answer above. In 1991, the Chicago Tribune published an article on an 85-year-old man who was the last living descendant of Augustine Washington on a strictly male line. Under the Salic Law system of inheritance, in which the throne passes exclusively through male descendants, he would have been the King of the United States. Since he had no sons and has presumably died sometime in the 27 years since the article was written, the entire Washingtonian line via Augustine would have ended with him. Either a search would have to be made for a living descendant on an all-male line of Augustine's brother John Washington III or his uncle John Washington II (likely a very difficult proposition), or a new royal line would have to be chosen, or a new law of succession would have to be adopted, or the practice of royalty in the United States would come to an end.

Meanwhile, this article names Ancestry's pick for the most likely Washington family member to be the current monarch of the United States, although it does not give any detailed methodology. Despite my best efforts, I haven't been able to figure out his lineage or how they decided that he was the most likely to be next in the royal line.

Should you trust the genealogy professional, or the random guy on the internet? I'll let you decide.

Question #91271 posted on 09/30/2018 7:17 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

For Alumni week, and if it doesn't take too much effort, could you update the answers to Question #70656 with the recently announced temples? Especially yayfulness's video, if he's around.

-Thinks its still SO Cool!


Dear thinker,

Greetings from significantly beyond the end of alumni week! In my defense, I finally bought Crusader Kings 2 as a graduation gift to myself and it's taken over my life I've had a very busy last few months. But this wouldn't be a yayfulness temples answer if it didn't go horrifically over hours, would it? Either way, it's done now, so I hope it's worth the wait.

First off, for anyone who's new to this series, in 2013 I answered Optimistic's Board Question #70656 with a video showing that the Maldives, a tiny archipelago south of India, were the furthest permanently inhabited location from an existing or announced LDS temple. In 2015, right before I retired from the Board, I updated the answer in Board Question #83118, which is honestly easier to read if you don't want to deal with a video. By then, thanks to the announcement of the Bangkok Temple, the new furthest point from a temple was the island of Socotra, just off the coast of Yemen. Earlier that same year, I also answered Board Question #82234, which took a look at the United States (not counting Hawaii and Alaska, because... Hawaii and Alaska), and Board Question #82284, which corrected an error in my answer to the previous question.

Since 2015, the Church has announced sixteen more temples. The most notable ones for the purposes of this mapping exercise are in Harare, Zimbabwe; Nairobi, Kenya; Bengaluru (Bangalore), India; and an as-yet undetermined location in Russia. Because it's kind of hard to make a map of a location that hasn't been chosen yet, I've left the Russian temple off of my list, but we'll revisit it later.

So with that, here's the map:

distances to 2500.png

You can click here to download a larger zoomable version. I highly recommend it; there are a lot of details that are easy to miss on the small version. The key is as follows:

  • Cyan lines - 200 mile radius
  • Green lines - 500 mile radius
  • Yellow lines - 1,000 mile radius
  • Orange lines - 1,500 mile radius
  • Red lines - 2,000 mile radius
  • Purple lines - 2,500 mile radius
I omitted all distances above 2,500 miles, since no land outside Antarctica was covered and the polar distortion was too high to intuitively interpret.

As you can see, Socotra and the Maldives are now within 1,500 miles of the Nairobi and Bangaluru temples, respectively.

In total, there are six areas with permanent human habitations that are over 2,000 miles from the nearest temple, and no areas at a distance of over 2,500 miles. Before we get to the winner, let's see the runners-up. In order to make my life easier, I added an intermediate black line at 2,250 miles which only shows up on some of the zoomed-in images.

The smallest area on the map - incredibly easy to miss on the smaller map, where it's just a tiny red dot - is in the northern Arabian Desert. Here's a close-up picture:

red triangle.png

Remarkably, the red triangle falls directly on Al-Hofuf, the fifth largest city in Saudi Arabia. The city is almost exactly 2,000 miles from Bengaluru, Nairobi, and Kiev, and it's evidently one of the biggest sites of date cultivation in the world.

The second area is in northwestern Greenland. I didn't catch it the first time around, and now that I've graduated I can't go back and see exactly where the 2,000-mile line falls along the coast (there are no inland cities). However, if I didn't miss anything while investigating using the Google Maps distance measurement tool, there are three permanent settlements beyond that line: Kullorsuaq (population 448, 2,052 miles from Winnipeg), Nuussuaq (formerly Kraulshavn, population 202, 2,037 miles from Winnipeg), and Qeqertat (population 33, 2,014 miles from Edmonton).

The third area is in the Indian Ocean. At the southern end of that area, beyond 2,500 miles from the nearest temple, you can find the Australian territory of Heard Island and MacDonald Islands - but you probably won't find any people there. In the mid-1800s, a community formed around the seal oil industry and had a peak population of around 200, but the industry collapsed before the end of the century after hunting the local seal population nearly to extinction. Today there are occasional expeditions by scientists and amateur radio operators, but there doesn't appear to have been a permanent population in over a century. The nearby Kerguelen Islands, which I mentioned in Board Question #91382, are home to a French naval base but no civilian population.

Further north, midway between the 2,000 and 2,250 mile lines, is the island of Rodrigues.


The island is a territory of Mauritius and has a population of a little over 40,000.

The fourth area is in the central Pacific and contains several islands. One of those islands, just short of the 2,250 mile line, is Bikini Atoll.

bikini atoll.png

The atoll, near the center of the image and to the west of the largest island, had a population of 167 in 1946 before being relocated by the United States to allow the island to be used for nuclear testing. Today, Wikipedia reports that the island is home to six caretakers, and the larger island to the east, Rongelap Atoll, has either 19 or 20 residents.

Further west is the island of Pohnpei.


Pohnpei is the large island in the center, home to the capital of the Federated States of Micronesia. It has a population of about 34,000.

The fifth area is in the eastern Pacific, and has just one island: Easter Island.

easter island.png

Easter Island is an outer territory of Chile, with a population of about 7,750.

And the winner? The winner is our old friend Россия. There's enough Россия, in fact, that cataloging all of it would be nearly impossible, so I'm going to stick to the two segments that are beyond the 2,250-mile mark.

Segment number one is on the northern Siberian coast, way out in Significant Map Distortion Land. (If you want to see what the geography looks like without distortion, here it is on Google Maps.)

northern triangle.png

The red circle is the ghost city of Nordvik (Нордвик), which was founded in the 1930s in the hopes of finding oil. The oil prospecting never worked out, and instead a penal colony operated a salt mine. The settlement was abandoned in 1956.

The yellow circle at the juncture of the Anabar River and a minor tributary is the city of Yuryung-Khaya (Юрюнг-Хая), also founded in the 1930s, which has a current population of just over 1,100. As far as I can tell, it's the only populated city further than 2,250 miles from a temple in this part of Russia, although the settlements of Syndassko (Сындасско, population "less than 497") and Ust-Olenyok (Усть-Оленёк, population 27) are nearby.

If we go further south, though, there's a lot more to look at.

southern triangle.png

So remember when I said that this was Russia? It turns out that's using an... ah... expansive definition of "Russia" which includes a decent chunk of Kazakhstan and China. (The 2,000-mile line clips the corner of Mongolia too.) Here's that same place on Google:

kinda sorta russia.png

As you can see, there are quite a few cities in this area. We're going to need another buffer.

smaller triangle.png

The outer black line on this image is the 2,250 mile buffer from before, and the inner line is a 2,325 mile buffer. (A 2,300 mile buffer includes a bit too much and a 2,350 mile buffer closes the triangle entirely.) Inside that triangle is a mountain peak named Khrebet Tarbagatay, whose Wikipedia page somewhat inexplicably only exists in Swedish and Cebuano. There is also a ton of farmland but, at least according to Google Maps, only one city more than one city but I'll get to the rest of them later: Makanchi (Мақаншы), which is almost perfectly cut in half by the western side of the triangle.

triangle detail with circle.png

Finding any information on Makanchi was difficult. You can get a decent look at it from above on Google, but street view has only minimal coverage in Kazakhstan - you can see the border crossing at Qoqek (Tacheng) about 45 miles to the east and a random residential scene at Naualy a similar distance to the west, but hardly anything else even remotely close. Wikipedia has a sparse English-language page on Urzhar District, but the only pages for Makanchi itself are in Kazakh and Russian. From what I could gather from Google's attempts at translation, the city was founded in 1879 and has a population of around 12,242.

Now, about those other cities? Somehow I missed them my first time through this project, but a few do in fact exist, mostly along the road from Makanchi to Qoqek. The only two I could find on Wikipedia (links in Russian, which appears to have the most information) are Karatal (Каратал), a town of just under 1,000 residents (not to be confused with any of the fifteen other Kazakh and five Russian cities of the same name, one of which is located 150 miles to the northeast), and Bakhty (Бахты), a city immediately to the Kazakh side of the Kazakh-Chinese border with a population of about 2,500. Google shows a few other settlements along that road, but none of their names are given in the Cyrillic alphabet and as best I can tell none of them show up anywhere on Wikipedia.

While the northern tip of the triangle does approach several settlements, as best I can tell it doesn't actually include them. The closest is a village called Lager (Лагерь), but it turns out Лагерь is actually just the generic Russian and Kazakh word for "camp," so finding any details on the site turned out to be impossible. (For all I know, it may be an actual camp; it can't have more than a dozen or two structures.) Is Lager really outside the triangle? My measurements on Google suggest it is. My best guess from looking at the GIS screenshots says it isn't. I have easy access to Google and no easy access to GIS as I write this section of the answer, so Google is the official winner.

As best I can tell, then, Karatal is the furthest city from a current or announced LDS temple site (if you define "city" as "permanent civilian settlement with a Wikipedia page in at least one language").


Remember how I said I couldn't map the announced temple in Russia, because it doesn't have a location yet?

Giving it a location could change this answer quite a bit.

Wikipedia says there are currently three stakes and four districts in Russia. It seems likely that the Church would try to build a temple in one of those stakes, since they represent the largest concentration of Church membership. Therefore, I will start by looking at those three locations: MoscowSaratov, and St. Petersburg.

Moscow seems to be the most logical choice. According to the LDS Meetinghouse Locator, there are ten wards and branches in Moscow and its suburbs, and five others nearby. Plus, as the capital city, it seems likely to be the most suitable travel destination.

Moscow to Bakhty:

moscow to bakhty.png

Moscow to Yuryung-Khaya:

moscow to yuryung khaya.png

If a temple is built in Moscow, it will be just under 2,000 miles from Makanchi, and the entire Urzhar District triangle will fall within the 2,250 mile radius. Nordvik and Yuryung-Khaya would still fall outside of that radius, though, leaving Yuryung-Khaya as the furthest city from a temple.

Next up is Saratov. It only has six wards and branches, but the nearby cities of Samara (home to a district and a mission) and Tolyatti (also home to a district) and other nearby cities contribute seven more. Plus, it's closer to the far-flung branches in Russia's interior.

Saratov to Bakhty:

saratov to bakhty.png

Saratov to Yuryung-Khaya:

saratov to yuryung khaya.png

A temple in Saratov would be even closer to the Urzhar District than Moscow and even further from Yuryung-Khaya, so the result would be the same as Moscow: Yuryung-Khaya is our new winner. If the temple is built 200 miles to the northeast in either Samara or Tolyatti, it will be 2,230 miles from Yuryung-Khaya, still far enough to keep it in first place.

Last, and in my opinion definitely least likely, is St. Petersburg. With seven congregations and three more nearby, the number of members in the temple's immediate vicinity would be lower than either of the other two locations. Plus, St. Petersburg is just under 200 miles from the temple in Helsinki, Finland. Apart from saving the trouble of crossing an international border, a temple in St. Petersburg wouldn't do much to bring temple access closer to most of Russia's members. Still, it's a significantly more likely location than any other city that hasn't made the list.

St. Petersburg to Bakhty:

st petersburg to bakhty.png

St. Petersburg to Yuryung-Khaya:

st petersburg to yuryung khaya.png

If a temple is built in St. Petersburg, it will be about 2,235 miles from Yuryung-Khaya, 2,245 miles from Makanchi, and 2,250 miles from Karatal. This leaves Bakhty and Karatal tied as the furthest cities from a temple.

Let's imagine, though, that none of those cities work out and instead a temple is built somewhere like Yekaterinburg or Novosibirsk, less than 2,000 miles from both regions. If the furthest point from a temple is not in Russia, where will it be?

Remember the six inhabited areas further than 2,000 miles from a temple? We can eliminate Russia immediately, courtesy of the new temple's hypothetical location. We can also knock out Al-Hofuf and Greenland, since all of their cities are between 2,000 and 2,100 miles from a temple. Rodrigues is barely over 2,100 miles, so the Indian Ocean is out too. That leaves two contenders, both in the Pacific Ocean - one to the east, and one to the west.

Easter Island is the only candidate location in the eastern Pacific. By my rough measurement, it's around 2,215 miles from the nearest temple in Concepcion, Chile. In the western Pacific, I'm eliminating both Bikini Atoll and Rongelap Atoll, since the aftermath of nuclear testing left them with only a negligible population. That makes Pohnpei, Micronesia the only island under consideration. Depending on what part of the island you measure, it's between 2,200 and 2,220 miles from the nearest temple in Suva, Fiji. So ultimately, it all comes down to the exact location of the Conception and Suva temples and the exact location of the furthest inhabited point on each island.

If you think I'm going to stop here, you are completely wrong.

The exact site of the temple in Concepcion is Pedro de Valdivia 1525 (addresses in Spanish put the street number after the street name). Here is a close-up of the site:

100hb easter island temple distance 1.png

And here is the most distant identifiable man-made structure on Easter Island that someone could conceivably live in:

100hb easter island temple distance 3.png

The total distance? 2,219.85 miles.

100hb easter island temple distance 2.png

The best address I can find for the temple in Suva is the intersection of Lakeba Street and Princess Road. Here it is:

100hb pohnpei temple distance 1.png

It was a bit harder to find the most distant building on Pohnpei, but I'm pretty sure this is it:

100hb pohnpei temple distance 3.png

Total distance: 2,217.20 miles.

100hb pohnpei temple distance 2.png

Easter Island beats Pohnpei by exactly 2.65 miles.

So there you have it. If the temple in Russia is built east of Moscow, the furthest permanent civilian population from a temple will be on Easter Island. I think that's unlikely, though; once the Russia temple location is announced, I'm willing to bet Easter Island will be in second place, after Yuryung-Khaya, and I'm willing to bet that both of those locations will hold their position for a very long time. Why? Let's take a look at what it would take to change that.

We'll start with Yuryung-Khaya As I previously mentioned, a temple in St. Petersburg or the Samara-Tolyatti area would shave 15-20 miles off the distance from Yuryung-Khaya to the nearest temple, which would still leave it ahead of Easter Island (and in the case of St. Petersburg, if no other temple is built elsewhere in Russia, behind the Urzhar District). But both of these options are, in my opinion, unlikely at best. Could the Church build a second temple elsewhere in Russia? Assuming the first temple is in Moscow or St. Petersburg, I suppose it's possible. Yekaterinburg and Novosibirsk are each surrounded by a cluster of branches, but it seems unlikely that either location would be able to support a temple without significant growth first. And Vladivostok is too isolated from the rest of Russia and too close to Japan and South Korea to seem realistic, especially with a bare handful of branches there. And on top of all of that, Russian politics are not exactly favorable to foreign churches at the moment. Given that we still don't know where the already-announced temple in Russia will be located, I don't think a second one is coming in the foreseeable future.

There are several technically possible but completely implausible options: a second temple north of Sapporo on the island of Hokkaido (which would make no sense, as Sapporo is home to half the island's population and Japan still has no temple in most of its major cities), a temple in Fairbanks, Alaska (which would basically exist for the benefit of the Fairbanks Stake and nobody else - and which would still be 2,235 miles from Yuryung-Khaya), or a temple somewhere in the far reaches of Canada (and far from any existing congregations) or northern Norway, Sweden, or Finland (where there are only a handful of branches).

There are also three currently temple-less countries that we can safely disregard for the foreseeable future: China (not happening anytime soon, and Beijing and all but a few of China's largest cities are outside of the 2,250 mile radius anyway), Kazakhstan (unlikely - while the country isn't as religiously repressive as China, the current LDS population is just 197 people), and the northern tip of North Korea (no).

BUT! That does leave one important possibility: Mongolia. Right now, Mongolia has a mission, two stakes and a district, and over 10,000 members. That's only half as many members as Russia, but they're concentrated in a much smaller area. Ulaanbaatar alone has twelve wards, two more than Moscow. And right now, the nearest temple is over 1,200 miles away in Seoul, South Korea. I imagine it will be a while, but I'm willing to bet most of us will live to see a temple in Ulaanbaatar.

So, in summary and in order, the plausible locations for a temple within 2,250 miles of Yuryung-Khaya:

  1. Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia (1,730 miles; Yuryung-Khaya drops off the list entirely)
  2. St. Petersburg, Russia (2,235 miles; if no temple is built elsewhere in Russia, the Urzhar District stays in first place and Yuryung-Khaya stays in second)
  3. Samara or Tolyatti, Russia (2,230 miles; Yuryung-Khaya stays in first place)
  4. Yekaterinburg, Russia (1,800 miles; Yuryung-Khaya drops off the list)
  5. Novosibirsk, Russia (1,500 miles; there are entire countries in Asia further than Yuryung-Khaya from a temple)
  6. Anywhere else, which would require shocking and unforeseeable circumstances

As for Easter Island? In order to get a temple closer to Easter Island than Concepcion, you'd basically have to build a temple on Easter Island itself. The nearest inhabited place is nearly 1,300 miles away on Pitcairn Island; the nearest city of over 500 people is about 1,600 miles away on Mangareva in French Polynesia. Aside from the Easter Island branch, the nearest listed congregations on the Meetinghouse Locator are the Isla Juan Fernandez, Chile branch 1,900 miles to the east and the Hao, French Polynesia branch 2,000 miles to the west. The only areas in mainland South America closer to Easter Island than Concepcion are just a few miles to the city's south. All four of those places are incredibly unlikely temple candidates. Easter Island's branch is tiny, and when I was a missionary in Chile (2009-2011) the branch president was a senior missionary. Juan Fernandez Island has a population of barely 900 and the branch there is also very small small (although, to the best of my recollection, the branch at least had a local branch president). Hao is an atoll threatened by climate change - its highest point is just three feet above sea level - and it is only 600 miles from the temple in Pape'ete, Tahiti. And there's no good reason to build a second temple in a rural area just a few miles from Concepcion.

So is there ever going to be a temple closer to Easter Island? Probably not in my lifetime.

While we're at it, we might as well look at the outlook for the other locations beyond the 2,000 mile mark.

Micronesia and the Marshall Islands about 700 miles to the east each have a Church membership of 6,000-7,000, but I suspect a more likely location for a new temple in the Pacific is Tarawa, some 1,000 miles to the southeast. The island has 15 congregations, and Kiribati, the country it is a part of, has two stakes, two districts, 31 congregations, and around 20,000 members, making up nearly 20% of its population. It is also around 1,400 miles from the temples in Fiji and Samoa. Now, I'm not sure how the Church would feel about building a temple on an atoll as opposed to a proper island, but it's definitely a possibility.

Even more likely than that, though, is a temple about 1,350 miles to the southwest of Pohnpei in Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea. The country has two missions, two stakes, and twelve (!) districts made up of over 27,000 members in 80 wards and branches - significantly more members than Russia. The nearest temple is over 1,300 miles to the south in Brisbane, Australia. I would bet you just about anything that they will have a temple of their own announced within the next ten years.

For Rodrugues to lose its spot on the list, the Church would most likely have to build a temple in Mozambique or Madagascar. Both countries have a mission, multiple stakes, and just over 10,000 members. I'd guess Madagascar is the more likely of the two, since Mozambique is already close to two temples in South Africa and one in Zimbabwe.

You'd think that the towns in Greenland might get knocked off the list by another temple in Canada, but there really aren't any major cities with a concentration of Church members that are closer than the existing temples. The best candidate would actually be Edinburgh or Glasgow, Scotland. The two cities each have a decent cluster of meetinghouses, and it's been twenty years since the last temple was dedicated in the UK, so I think it's entirely plausible.

Al-Hofuf... that is a tough one. A temple in Saratov or Samara, Russia, would bump it off the list. It's hard to think of other realistic possibilities - Albania was the only serious candidate in Europe to come to mind, with 3,000 members and several thousand more in the surrounding countries, but Tirana is just barely over 2,000 miles from Al-Hofuf. India's Church membership is concentrated to the country's south and east, so a second temple there would probably not change anything. Still... I'm not willing to rule out Russia completely.

So I'll refine my prediction just a little:

  1. The Urzhar District will drop off the list of distant locations as soon as the location of the Russia temple is announced.
  2. Pohnpei will drop off the list within a decade.
  3. Yuryung-Khaya, Rodrigues, and Greenland will all drop off the list sometime in the next 20-30 years, give or take.
  4. Al-Hofuf will lose its place eventually, but the time and manner are impossible to predict at this point.
  5. Barring a dramatic change in the Church's philosophy towards temples or an utterly unprecedented mass conversion, Easter Island will sooner or later reach first place and stay there for as long as anyone who remembers this list is around to remember it.

And there you have it: in all likelihood, the second-most conclusive answer to this recurring question that I will ever write. I look forward to updating it as soon as the location of the temple in Russia is announced (although depending on my GIS access, it might not look as fancy). Until then, I hope this has kept you informed and entertained!


Question #91151 posted on 04/15/2018 8:24 a.m.

Dear Frère Rubik,





Dear Vienna,

Kidding! I’m just kidding! 


That's right, folks: one of the Board's kindest, funniest, most loving and compassionate writers has decided to marry probably the Board's most Rubik-iest writer. 

How on earth did I get to be so lucky, you ask? It's simple, really: I successfully defeated Chris Pratt in a taco-eating contest on top of the Empire State Building. Why she had us hold the contest there, I don't know (it was very cold and windy and the cilantro kept flying off of my tacos), but we went along with it because she is totally worth it.

I don't want to overly gush, but Vienna is amazing. She is so amazingly kind and loving and supportive and funny and great. She feels special to me in a way that no one else has before. She makes me so much better.

Plus, I mean, she's really pretty, guys:


What did I tell you? Drop-dead gorgeous. And I get to be with her forever.

-Frère Lovestruck

P.S. The reason it took so long, Vienna, is because I got lost in your eyes every time I tried to draw a paper bag over them.

P.P.S. Ok so yeah technically the real reason it took so long is because this semester has been absolutely crazy with graduating and wedding planning and whatnot but I'm serious about those eyes of yours, chica. They are DREAMY.

Question #91100 posted on 03/31/2018 9:06 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I know you’re busy trying to get into the Room of Requirement, but I saw a picture in the library on one of the display monitors advertising laptop chargers as perk #126. What are the other 125+

Or if you can’t secure a list of those, what would you list as the top ten library perks?



Dear Rachmaninoff,

You came to the write place, because as a Board writer I'm definitely privy to that real information, and didn't just come up with a list off the top of my head. Here are the other 125 library perks:

  1. Great place for studying. 8/10 recommend
  2. (The other 2/10 get bad grades)
  3. Comfy chairs for napping
  4. Comfy couches for napping
  5. Snack zone
  6. Sometimes they give away free chocolate milk during our weird version of Oktoberfest
  7. Vending machines
  8. So many books!
  9. Including one that may be about making your own cocaine?
  10. JK I know it's not about drugs sorry if my joke offended you
  11. But also so many cute teeny books!
  12. Lots of tables
  13. Some of which have outlets!
  14. You can meet your soulmate in periodicals
  15. Or anywhere else in the library, I guess
  16. Family study area
  17. Moving bookcases because BYU is Hogwarts
  18. The special collections
  19. (Which, if you haven't checked out, you definitely should, because they have some cool stuff)
  20. Like, they have engraved clay tablets from the Roman Empire
  21. And original illuminated manuscripts written on vellum by monks
  22. Reservable study rooms
  23. (If only the girls next to me having a loud study session in a quiet section of the library realized this)
  24. (Hopefully they read the Board and will see this and know that in the future they should definitely just reserve a study room)
  25. (#PassiveAggressive)
  26. Lots of available computers
  27. The multimedia lab, for all your multimedia desires
  28. You can check out cool movies
  29. You can also use some of their rooms to watch said cool movies
  30. The music area (where I am currently writing this)
  31. A production studio for recording videos or taking photos
  32. (With lighting, backgrounds, and cameras!)
  33. You can check out laptops
  34. And also iPads
  35. And also cameras
  36. (Photo cameras AND video cameras)
  37. And even GoPros!
  38. It provides employment to a lot of BYU students
  39. And the employees are all so nice
  40. Convenient printers
  41. And color printers!
  42. Also there are organs
  43. (Musical ones, not human ones)
  44. (Except for the human ones inside the humans who frequent the library)
  45. It's probably definitely haunted!
  46. Lots of family history stuff
  47. The giant globe on the 2nd floor
  48. Also the skeletons on the 2nd floor
  49. No Shh zones
  50. There are a lot of bathrooms here, so I suppose that's pretty useful
  51. Fast waterbottle filling stations
  52. And also some very slow ones
  53. Interlibrary loan, which gets you access to basically any book in any library in the nation
  54. It gives you access to cool databases like ebsco and JSTOR
  55. Also you can get a RefWorks account through them
  56. There's a big cool auditorium for lectures and conferences
  57. It doesn't leak, so you can stay dry during rain or snow storms
  58. Also it has AC for hot summer months
  59. It has fridges in certain areas for certain employees
  60. Self check-out stations to expedite your checking-out process
  61. The American Heritage review room is located there
  62. Vending machines that have school supplies
  63. And also chapstick
  64. (Basically, library vending machines are like a little mini-store in their own right)
  65. Conference rooms for people who must convene in conferences
  66. The cool mural on the 4th floor
  67. It has stairs, which is helpful for people who need to get from one floor to another
  68. It also has elevators, which is helpful for people who can't take the stairs
  69. Periodicals has a cozy fireplace area surrounded by couches
  70. It has some classrooms
  71. (Which means fewer classes being held in the MARB, something we should all be grateful for)
  72. Some of the women's restrooms also include nursing mother areas
  73. A lot of it is underground, which is pretty cool
  74. (HA, literally, because underground is cooler than above-ground in terms of temperature)
  75. (Well, I guess underground is just more insulated, so it could be cooler or warmer than above-ground, depending on the outside temperature)
  76. There are a lot of doors, so you're more likely to be protected in case of a velociraptor attack
  77. (Because if we learned anything from Jurassic Park, it's that velociraptors can definitely open doors, but hopefully having lots of doors would at least slow them down)
  78. The big glass ceiling/walls at the north entrance allow you to see what the weather outside is like
  79. Once I heard a rumor that it's the most highly insured building the Church owns, because of all its rare books and collections
  80. Little study carrels that line the walls on pretty much every floor except the 3rd
  81. Those carrels even have little personal whiteboards!
  82. Book detectors by the entrances/exits, so you can't steal their books
  83. (Bad news for book thieves, good news for future generations of students)
  84. Lots of outlets to charge your computer
  85. And I guess also your phone
  86. Art on lots of the walls
  87. Lots of fire extinguishers, in case of fires
  88. One time I was at the library and they were giving away cake
  89. There are 3D printers students can use!
  90. They have virtual reality equipment
  91. (And it's really cool and all of you should try it)
  92. You can check out hollow books
  93. The 1st floor has an auditorium that always has different art displays up
  94. There are weird but cool statues on the 2nd floor near periodicals
  95. There's a 3D scale model of BYU campus in 2005 on the 1st floor
  96. All the floors have little display cases by the south-end staircases
  97. The north-end staircase going from the 3rd floor to the 4th has grooves in it from so many generations of BYU students walking on it
  98. (Which is actually very poetic)
  99. (At least according to poets who write about mundane things like staircases)
  100. The University Accessibility Lab
  101. The Research and Writing Center
  102. Lots of recycling bins
  103. They're starting to put up more paintings of women, and I'm all about that women's representation
  104. The basement doesn't have cell service
  105. (Which could be good if you're trying to focus but get distracted by your phone a lot)
  106. "The largest repository of materials related to the viola in the world"
  107. The cool secret-ish study space near the viola archive
  108. The Asian section is pretty cool
  109. Also they have some old antique tables around that area, too
  110. They have hole punchers for students to use
  111. And also staplers
  112. They have scanners
  113. And even a fax machine!
  114. They have longer hours during finals week
  115. It's where freshman mentors meet with their mentees
  116. You can browse music scores on their website
  117. They turn on music to kick people out at night, so at least it's a fun way of kicking people out
  118. Some of the tables have little plaques on the sides next to the outlets discouraging the theft of chargers
  119. Brightly colored accent walls next to the staircases
  120. You can do an audio tour of the library
  121. You can stream media through BYUgle
  122. An AV dubbing rack to change VHS to DVD
  123. A reserveable sound booth
  124. They have a photo archive of their whiteboard quotes
  125. They have a vast documentary collection

And that, of course, brings up to perk #126, laptop chargers.

There's definitely more perks of the library, but in the interest of doing something else with my life instead of thinking about the HBLL at all times, I'll let you discover those on your own.


Question #90985 posted on 03/06/2018 11:16 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Books printed in the 1960s smell good, like really good. Why is that?



Dear Sniffler,

Do you want to know about SCIENCE??

Books are primarily made of paper, which is made of wood. Two of the main molecules in the cell walls of plants are cellulose and lignin. Here are some fun diagrams of the molecules.



You'll see that they're both long chains of mostly circular molecules. Circular molecules are aromatic, and they're called aromatic because most of the first aromatic molecules smelled good. That's not a general rule for aromatic compounds, but lucky for us a lot of the by-products of the breakdown of cellulose and lignin smell nice. Here are some of the by-products of the breakdown of cellulose and lignin:

 - Toluene

Toluene has a strong aromatic odor that most people find pleasant. It smells vaguely like gasoline.

 - Vanillin

You'll recognize this one as the functional molecule in vanilla. This is why old books smell kind of like vanilla.

 - 2-ethyl hexanol

2-ethyl hexanol is a compound that is found in a lot of natural plant fragrances, specifically fruits, like plums.

 - Ethyl Benzene

Ethyl benzene smells like gasoline as well, and has a sweet odor. It's used in tars and ink.

 - Benzaldehyde

Benzaldehyde is used in imitation almond extract, and has a sweet almond-like odor.

 - Furfural

Furfural also is a sweet, almond-smelling compound, and can also be used to calculate how old a book is!

So that's the chemical reason that old books have that slightly fruity, nutty vanilla smell! The older they are, the more they've got that smell. Books from the 1960's have been breaking down for like 60 years!

Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave

Question #90973 posted on 04/08/2018 6:42 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Can you all write answers/tell stories while impersonating another writer? This would make my week.



Dear friend,

Well, you didn't really ask for this, but I decided to do a predictive text answer based on the answers from each individual writer. Enjoy! (I've included some of our recently departed writers as well.)


Dear politicians,

The Cossack of the church can help serve a lot throughout the course of history. Virtually every country in the world crumbled into pieces of polygamy. Certainly, American opposition to the persecution of various protestant sects were killed by the government. The Korean majority of northerners were looking for a candidate who would be more uncomfortable with a god who allows for some trial and error. Despite his imperfections on the spot of the church he presided over recreational activities of the church. However, eventually I realized that I could figure out what the common factors were if you don't think of the church today. They didn't change the testimony of them.  I toootally feel you and they demonstrated suspicious sweatpants.



Dear Nancy of the unwritten horcruxes,

It definitely wouldn't revert back to different numbers represented lovingly by the reader. However esoteric people may be, I can just use my ~30 lb backpack as a bludgeon. So, while I thank you for the interesting read, I was extremely weak stomach and have actually fainted. Will you have 1.265x10 pictures of badly drawn squares? I don't even care. The point is, you can major in business, but I promise I am working on it. I especially like depressed shrubs creeping on the ground but never went through the veil of a dust mote. Negligible disclaimer here, the survivors will be highly incentivized to stop right now. Please don't significantly forward google results turned up 8 rows in the terrestrial room was seated with more people than the second row in the terrestrial room. never specify.



Dear you,

So, here's two more seconds of catchy game music and then the mountains on the west of the valley. The tunnel worms found the nearly tough fight between semesters and drums. You certainly would ensue you have it is very dark inside the earth and come out on the other side. The document singer clop range music with the opera woman is coming back. She's superhuman. I merely hope that father shall be so excited to learn that his theory is correct. It's never certain that you enjoy enough songs. Never enough. Yog begins making judgement calls, and we must hurry. We have dug as fast as we can but it's not something you'd specifically see. If Edward could somehow bring this fight to the water, then the mountains would probably have been graciously translated.

~Anne, Certainly


Dear bakerer's apprentice,

The aforementioned putrid enlightening Quora article does mention hot liquid sugars as an edible liquid. Anathema pointed out liquid nitrogen as a possibility but noted a google search showed there was controversy about safety risks. There's not enough food for this discussion 'cause their concentration as an ingredient never would work. Occasionally borrowing evasive moves from the quickstep when the disturbance occurred to the Marriott floor. He nodded appreciatively, but frankly I don't know how anyone could really substantiate that claim. Honey from bees and the body metabolizes the stuff I like best. He rumba his job. He topped his pilfered prize. successful recovery! It's fortunate the police showed up when they did so long beyond the 100 hours. thrilled to have our dragons back.


--Ardilla Feroz


Benedict of the friendship status,

I think maybe not worth it because who cares really? Babalugats hates change and always chooses the passive confidence. Babalugats would be Babalugates or something, I don't already read it. Whether plants experience things is important, and vulnerability can be explored in collaboration with the opposite party. The active participant reported feelings of relief come to understand the connection you should approach the conversation with respect. respect is the bit soft of the eggs. You can be that kind of wisdom every year, and disease production without snowfall? Not quite embarrassing enough. Lightning should be fine to understand the connection between moisture and wildfire. Please maybe date your life depends on what scholarship you get. you can be traced. Never mentally worth it.



Dear individuals,

Have any questions regarding any parts of this conveniently livable planet been assured? I mean, you stand to lose if you leave in peace on earth. The rarity produced throughout the week would help your body to metabolize the cake better than if you ignored prior cry. Monopoly on truth will resonate with our brains to be able to do anything good. If that's not a very expressive individual, then hopefully wrap it all up, because instead the spirit moves I have literally zero desire to do this. Always assume that if I bring something like the Aquabats, then hopefully I would rate each water bottle filler on any of 11 floors to fill my water bottle. Sometimes it just makes me more able to focus. But that's just a few moments of my existence.


~Dr. Occam


Dear fragrant James,

Now, slide dollars, and I am inferring to be really fancy metals. This is further reinforcement that many of the events that people tend to think apply to our day are actually talking about laundry. This miserable mood is a tranquil spring afternoon dance. One whiff of this complex fragrance and you can see the blues. see lectures, see feelings. They didn't really understand any of the different sweats encountered freshman year, such as: the scent that says, " well worth it ", the thermal conductivity of any pure metal, and instantly you'll be transported back to your days of ice blocking. They didn't really follow that order at all of the roman currency, which is kind of what I figured might happen. You didn't ever bottle up the epic and then lift up the side. I was going to take over our government, but the oldest version of the Hebrew torah should put in one last disclaimer. I was actually a vacuum.

-Frere Rubik


Dear clone,

Board question # 34094 squirrel pending technically came in the conservatory. It's probably significantly magic not entirely sure of the board's entropy. 12 board words ordered by the webmasters made major progress toward updating the future. lies sponsors domain number blownapart 20th board anniversary. Board 6.0 will significantly end the audience of the repeated meme board. I personally do have a point, the webmasters made major board questions.  When this question whisperer Sam was fine print, he got stuff to work. Some more progress toward updating the board is incredibly subjective and Sauron is going to die. 

--django fett


Dear yosef,

The social stigma of my major and psyche after all of the world literally had stopped says here's a little hat. But instead we just started using symbolism like the pro floor tradition orthodoxy. 06 things can happen without using words to do a survey for religious message collections. I was tired around 1891 minutes so long test seeds who can magnify thought attitudes. Acceptable thing grief check will cause something within you and bring you rage siblings to be more wonderful. The board generally just wanted to drop something like " mom is now that capture ". It's not attractive that I can keep going back to tithing in the sense that there are some beds in a fixed mindset. I was tired, and I didn't want to risk letting tarot cards be able to maintain their strange form. Not that I was going to stop worrying about what happened when I was still learning more about this practice. 

Take care,

-Auto Surf


Dear nameless of doom,

I officially decided to do it 4 weeks ago, and the means by which he came to them a few months ago is wrong. It's highly unlikely he would say " that was a girl from the tropics ", but more seriously contemplating getting a PhD in eternity hereafter. My roommate didn't take that test, or amorous relationships seriously. Do we not practice polygamy today? No, and about doing baptisms. If you explain what you can improve to be barber words, no choice in high school helped me. Thighs smaller than one man implies that a woman is the glory of the Pythagorean theorem. And you might even feel more comfortable telling them what you can improve in yourself or do to serve your laptop. students should avoid dating website to use it on walks and the temple grounds. That is entirely certain.

-guppy of doom


Dear fossilized typewriter,

I really do, you want high swear words? What recording label created the music you have to start worrying about this. The doctor descended deeper into a human clone of the doctor that got stuck in that alternate dimension with rose Tyler. For more information about the headphones you're looking at, there's a lot of good said thing people at the internet. So, if you ever compromise those standards, there's a little different perspectives besides elder Uchtdorf. There's some isolation between the first dimension and the pearl quorum. If somewhat boring with plenty of haiku blessings seems excellent spatially? Just mentally mentally mentally mentally chaotic. Don't be afraid of the twelve after being taught out there are over the muscles in his tongue. The majority of measurements of different perspectives are sealed headphones.



Dear charlotte in the car,

I have a very grumpy and cynical person, she's that retired writers. July is probably perpetually hungry about marriage. Have legitimate panic attacks been good at taking tests and all that popular stuff? Not going to call this good blank wall space. They find it difficult because of prejudice against Ontario culture of various ecosystems on an African safari. Writers are blissfully featured at the university of the Caribbean, and the captain of Disney’s opinion was uprooted recently but Maria is plagued by doubt and achievements. Epcot probably has the newest attractions like spaceship Dumbo, 1942, and the gran fiesta tour. Some of those four categories are very vocal about arsenic and old hardships, so I lowered their minimum to include a variety of different pavilions. The infamous Katya retires like it hot and moulin rouge questions like it's consistently incredible.




Dear seeker of salt,

My mission call was blackmailed as part of the never-ending war on the forehead of the best eggs. I think that eventually only franchise justice league will guide you to get paid by yourself, as if you should do it for marriage. You don't have a crazy new trump, you have a barely interesting proposition point. Adding in different goals, the entry tunnel of the torture ticket remains constant through his tweets. I certainly hope that we often forget about three years of our lives, which leads to things like the " fake news awards ". Because of this strategy Olympics, we can plan and emotionally theater the best pieces of your taxes if you have faith. If you have faith, not infallibility to consume within your major stories, but really just let it happen. Don't thank cats, but then proceed to get married by elder Holland.



Dear attractive caves,

The enormous limitations of our own demons have been described by napoleon constantly. He has a body weight range without range, and Jamie lee Curtis would pine for Provo constantly, and try not to worry too much about the future. Have a clear vision about 17.31g of molten nature, and Wikipedia will assume that you are talking about readily obtained heavy crystal. It makes things work, try to enjoy life experience applications and the beast of the intj farm gives us mercury. Thank a member of the south America and the descriptions of each moment before attacking the population of people. Just because vampires are so beautiful doesn't tell me you're joking every two days. However, they experience a profound existential crisis when committed to their values and to people who are originally from china. This is likely due to the human ankle.



Dear friend,

I totally get where you fit in the lord’s permit. The eclipse began particularly eloquent considering some of the things I didn't simply know.  I'm pretty sneaky and they're not necessarily more attractive than I.  It's because of William Flake. Also, it takes place in France which is pretty restrictive for me to understand.  Why is this important you may ask, it's so many crazy medical estimates for English speakers in China?  But, Sherpa Dave is not currently accepting any applications for commercial diamond groups, so estimating around the building we would hand out medicine and eyeglasses.  Keep it real people. When his work is done, his administration functions provide care to more people who speak mandarin Chinese. henlo religion, because honestly trying to understand where they collect carbon dioxide is not something that specifically trigger cravings.  It's certainly not the same values that are constantly important to understand. I often feel unpopular and different than someone who can communicate in English.  Literally this question reminds me of untalented people who are very different. Counselor 33 is located in Ghana.  Would whiplash for a paradoxically healthy person be kleptomaniacs? I don't think so.

Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave


Dear rey of the hill,

I don't know what timeline you expect going forward, but you hit a sensitive spot for some science this day. This helps me feel comfortable with my arms down, and I assume there are multiple artists creating the primary presidency. Did little guy in the world of the transcript text or email back? absolutely none of them sounded particularly jazzy, just like doctrine and covenants 121 says. I would just let him back in the newest movies only, you are at war with my arms. My dizziness went up again, and kingdom hearts 2.8 the music used during the broadcast are incomplete and cannot be updated. The story line of the rotation instead of being at the center of my axis is a good opportunity to do so because now the alumni will be having problems then the parent and member of the primary presidency specifically told us to let them know of any children that were referring to Dallas down a hill.



Dear perturbed Alibaba,

I believe this is a very common swamp for the job. We hugged her dad to admit that it is important to read, but I have told her that I think it is more comfortable that way. If it really bugs you, then do my shoes. Gordon b. Colony on mars is a very common feeling for all of us to prayerfully consider. Case the couch and then you are free game again. Needless to be a brag party, but I have told bighands and bigfingers respectively that you are your own grandmother. You just swallow it down and smile. The lizard people found out that our quarterbacks struggled untied shoelaces and I recognized that this confusion by Budweiser is a very common explanation for all of us to make the hottest chili on the planet. Have a new slogan like " band of brothers " and rise and roar. It'll be a good relationship in the long term.

-Sunday Night Banter


Dear rhubarb for carbs,

I had hoped to delay my hypothesis by measuring the absorbance spectra of those feelings about lego.com. If you are present somewhere in Provo, then taxation is theft. My dad gave up trying to manage each beverage individually and combined unique minutes because they were awkward. It's normal enough to deal blood cream at least until alumni week or even if you're more practical, until they have been broken. I can only hope that it primarily shines more of a straight interview. If you're on dates, they say they recommend marriage, but I got scholarships when I was going to do some real thing. So, what's the government actually sensitive for? Forcing people to do things and anything not crazy like butter. When I’m not true at each one isn't significantly nutritionally different from river dance theaters.

-The Entomophagist


Dear fellow nerf slave,

I also agree with choosing whether or not to return your motivations. The consensus was that it is normal to enjoy your style for the better friends until my cousin realized you mean you are enough. You can always improve a lot of barbecue with some board writers and this is for good reasons. You choose to make it worth your time by the church does not officially enforce a couple of levels and I feel that god is prompting you to go back to a creepy little man. It's properly summed up by a lot of ways and I feel you need to do it with straw as a ruse to kidnap maximum employment. Cheers do not have access to work worldwide. However, because she liked him a lot she should have encouraged church members to join with her to eat something. So, don't be a full failure associated with choosing tithing intervention. Just teach painful perspectives.

The Lone Musketeer


Dear wonderer,

I just don't think of anything to start to become the person god intended us to become. The thing about kissing family friends is that no matter how much you want to avoid them afterwards, you need to know everything frantically. You might avoid embarrassment by trying to do things by yourself but there are subtle differences between zombies or raptors. Combining all the strengths of both zombies and raptors are significantly harder to avoid than anyone. Byu football is awesome too, and I have asked 88 questions despite having kissed miss leinster. You don't have a lot championship clockwise minor dating equivalent. There are 10 things you need to know about everything to be good enough to repel them once you wish a long way. I happen to have tried the specific dance of learning for Disney princess. There you have it, but you don't need homework to make battle against the land of Clyde.




Dear certain monster podcast,

I mean, this corner of the Americas hasn't morally offered members anything. But alas, my thoughts about the Magyars in comparison to the nineteenth spectrum of emotion are pretty gruesome. understanding lgbt policies that can help your question but then frère made me remember that being around campus is not right. Nobody's good at byu. Even taking the initiative and emotional charge together, I think it depends on the circumstances and menu online to read its message of the church. That being said to be yourself about what kind of stress you have got yourself a meal. You want to see if audiobooks hold your partner's weaknesses and attack and just want them to be happy products. Also, you sound southern, and I think that if you want a little bit about Confucianism, I technically am a difficult enough person who doesn't just have a lot of answers.

-Van Goff


Dear you,

I don't really like this statistic of the philosophies of colonialism, the main goal was typically to extract the tea into the swkt and then forget about it. This map shows every part of the wilk in Greek symphonies. I am fluent in the private information of Provo, but it does mention that when you don't really address your late gas you have caused a hard impact. It's better to be single than to be a curator for a national museum. Honestly, and disseminated that throughout the world and it's just so perpetuating. We can tell the same story of the fathers of the fathers, but it does corroborate the editors would say about half of my mission companions are dealbreakers. They chopped the lids off the harbor and it's just never within someone's control. It makes sense when you're dealing with a limited-edition version of the original place.



Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave (with significant help from Tipperary)

Question #90969 posted on 03/25/2018 10 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How many tri-state areas are there in the United States? Which one would you want to conquer entirely?


Dear... you,
Why are you so excited about conquering tri-state areas? Well, who am I to question this, I've come up with an absolutely objective scoring system to determine which of these tri-state areas is the best, and thus, most conquerable. There are 13 defined tri-state areas that have a shared metropolitan area, and there are 62 places where three and only three states meet. (28 of those are in water.)
These are my categories:
Estimated GDP
Influence, political and otherwise
Does it look nice
With bonus categories like
Does the area include Illinois? (-5 points)
Does the area have a special name so I don't have to make up a new one when I conquer it? (+10 points)
Is Ike Samuels, the 1895 third baseman for the Saint Louis Browns from this area? (+20 points)
Does this area make a mockery of pizza? (-15 points)
How many Chick-fil-A restaurants does this area have? (+.1 points per restaurant)
Does this area claim to have the world's shortest and steepest funicular railroad? (-5 points)
  • The New York metropolitan area (NY, NJ, CT)
Population: 24 million people, 100 points
Estimated GDP: $1.74 trillion, 100 points
Area: 13,318 sq mi, 100 points
Food: Bagels and lox? Pastrami on rye? NY style pizza? Cheesecake? Lobster roll? Eggs Benedict? New York food is perfect, I don't make the rules, 100 points
Culture: Broadway? The Met? Jazz? That's pretty good, 85 points
Influence, political and otherwise: Wall Street? Silicon Alley? Not bad NY, 78 points
Does it look nice: It's pretty nice, good skyline, 53 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +2.5 points
TOTAL: 618.5 points
  • The Delaware Valley region (PA, NJ, DE)
Population: 7 million, 29.2 points
Estimated GDP: $434 billion, 25 points
Area: 5,118 sq mi, 38.4 points
Food: Philly cheesesteak? Soft pretzels? Italian ice? That's pretty good folks, 80 points
Culture: Quakers? Mostly food? It's not so bad, 70 points
Influence, political and otherwise: I mean, it's a pretty big city, 50 points
Does it look nice: Heck yeah, 100 points
Mockery of Pizza Bonus: -15 points (Have you SEEN Philly pizza)
Special Name Bonus: +10 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +8.5 points
TOTAL: 396.1 points
  • The Cincinnati (OH, KY, IN)
Population: 2.1 million, 8.8 points
Estimated GDP: $127 billion, 7.3 points
Area: 4,808 sq mi, 36.1 points
Food: Cincinnati chili? Nothing else? 10 points
Culture: Some pretty darn good zoos and museums? 80 points
Influence, political and otherwise: It's not lookin' great for the Cinc, 40 points
Does it look nice: DEFINITELY, 100 points
Special Name Bonus: +10 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +2.5 points
TOTAL: 294.7 points
  • The Pittsburgh tri-state area (PA, OH, WV)
Population: 2.6 million, 10.8 points
Estimated GDP: $139 billion, 8 points
Area: 11,751 sq mi, 88.2 points
Food: Kielbasa? Pierogi? Golabki? Polish food in general? 100 points
Culture: Polish people? The Andy Warhol Museum? Jazz? 100 points
Influence, political and otherwise: Pittsburgh? 20 points
Does it look nice: Sure, 80 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +2 points
TOTAL: 409 points
  • The Chicago tri-state area (IL, IN, WI)
Population: 10 million, 41.7 points
Estimated GDP: $670 billion, 38.6 points
Area: 10,874 sq mi, 81.6 points
Food: Italian beef? Deep dish pizza? Chicago style hot dogs? Not bad Chicago, 81 points
Culture: Architecture? Music? Museums? Chicago's got 'em, 84 points
Influence, political and otherwise: Chicago is pretty darn influential, 75 points
Does it look nice: THE BEAN, 100 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +3.5 points
Mockery of Pizza Bonus: -15 points
Includes Illinois: -5 points
Special Name Bonus (Chicagoland): +10 points
TOTAL: 495.4
  • The Greater Memphis area (TN, MS, AR)
Population: 1.3 million, 5.4 points
Estimated GDP: $71 billion, 4.1 points
Area: 3,013 sq mi, 22.6 points
Food: BBQ that is all, 100 points
Culture: Memphis Zoo? Blues? Gospel? 95 points
Influence, political and otherwise: Not bad area strategically, 70 points
Does it look nice: Oh yeah, 91 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +2 points
TOTAL: 390.1 points
  • The Dubuque tri-state area (IA, IL, WI)
Population: .19 million, .8 points
Estimated GDP: $5.5 billion, .3 points
Area: 3,070 sq mi, 23 points
Food: At least they don't make a mockery of pizza, 30 points
Culture: There are six parks, 8 points
Influence, political and otherwise: honestly zero points
Does it look nice: It's the Midwest baby, 80 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: .1 point
Includes Illinois: -5 points
Funicular Railroad Bonus: -5 points
TOTAL: 133.1 points
  • The Chattanooga tri-state area (TN, AL, GA)
Population: .53 million, 2.2 points
Estimated GDP: $25 billion, 1.4 points
Area: 2,137 sq mi, 16 points
Food: Apparently really good coffee? 60 points
Culture: "Chattanooga Choo Choo" by the Glenn Miller Orchestra, 100 points
Influence, political and otherwise: The city has it's own custom typeface, 100 points
Does it look nice: You better believe it, 87 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +2.5 points
TOTAL: 369.1 points
  • The D.C. tri-state area (MD, VA, WV)
Population: 6.1 million, 25.4 points
Estimated GDP: $491 billion, 28.3 points
Area: 5,564 sq mi, 41.8 points
Food: Tons of different influences but no signature dishes, 70 points
Culture: Smithsonian? A billion museums? The Washington Monument? It's all there, 100 points
Influence, political and otherwise: D.C.? That's the capital kids, 100 points
Does it look nice: You bet it does, 94 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +13 points
Special Name Bonus (DMV): +10 points
TOTAL: 482.7 points
  • The Joplin District (OK, KS, MS)
Population: .2 million, .8 points
Estimated GDP: $7 billion, .4 points
Area: 1,753 sq mi, 13.2 points
Food: ?? 
Culture: ??
Influence, political and otherwise: Control of zinc mining, 10 points
Does it look nice: You talkin' about the Show Me State? 86 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +.2 points
TOTAL: 110.6 points
  • The Quincy tri-state area (MO, IA, IL)
Population: .1 million, .4 points
Estimated GDP: $1 billion, .1 points
Area: 2,000 sq mi, 15 points
Food: Midwest food is not that great, I should know, 10 points
Culture: Midwest? Culture? 4 points
Influence, political and otherwise: Not looking good buddy, 5 points
Does it look nice: I mean, the Midwest is beautiful, there's no debating that one, 70 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: -100 points (ZERO CHICK-FIL-A'S)
Includes Illinois: -5 points
Ike Samuels Bonus: +20 points
TOTAL: 19.5 points
  • The Evansville tri-state area (IL, IA, KY)
Population: .9 million, 3.8 points
Estimated GDP: $17 billion, 1 point
Area: 2,367 sq mi, 17.8 points
Food: They have the oldest restaurant in Indiana, 60 points
Culture: A good zoo? The Evansville Philharmonic Orchestra? 67 points
Influence, political and otherwise: Southern Indiana isn't exactly the seat of influence in the US, 20 points
Does it look nice: We've spoken about the Midwest, 89 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +.4 points
Includes Illinois: -5 points
TOTAL: 254 points
  • The Huntington tri-state area (KY, OH, WV)
Population: .36 million, 1.5 points
Estimated GDP: $14 billion, .8 points
Area: 2,160 sq mi, 16.2 points
Food: I've heard they have some good German food, 68 points
Culture: The Huntington Museum of Radio and Technology?? 96 points
Influence, political and otherwise: 6 points
Does it look nice: The Ohio River, 76 points
Chick-fil-A Bonus: +.6 points
Special Name Bonus (Kyova): +10 points
TOTAL: 275.1 points
So there you have it. The New York metropolitan area is objectively the best tri-state area out there. Go ahead and conquer that one.
Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave
Question #90944 posted on 04/02/2018 4:30 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Could kidney stones be considered a sedimentary rock?

-Oscar E. Meinzer


Dear The Grouch,

Oscar E. Meinzer asked all of us
a question, which, answer we often must
but you must know this fact
we just can't be exact
for we are not nephrogeologists

 - The Earl of Limerick

Question #90925 posted on 02/04/2018 11:56 p.m.

Dear Entomophagist,

It's time for you to leave, sir.

-The Entomophagist


Dear Clone,

And so it is.

I had hoped to delay my retirement until I officially graduated, had been a writer for two full years, and/or had reached some arbitrary answer count milestone, but it's just too much for me now. It has been a long while since I've been able to fulfill this responsibility to my satisfaction. In the eloquent words of Bilbo Baggins, "I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread."

To my now former colleagues in the writership, it was a pleasure to know you. I can only hope to have added as much to your lives as each of you have added to mine. Maybe we can see each other again sometime when I'm back in Provo.

To you readers, thank you for your questions. My wish is that I could have been a net benefit to you as a writer, even though I'm sure I ruffled some feathers along the way.

I don't have a ring of power to blame for my problems, or any elf buddies that I can crash with until I feel better, but it's still time to say goodbye. That is, at least until Alumni Week.

Take care of yourselves,

-The Entomophagist

Question #90917 posted on 02/06/2018 1:32 a.m.

Dear Purveyor of Sound Kirito,

I'm in the market for some professional-grade over-the-ear headphones to edit sound in video programs like Adobe Premiere; I also plan on using them for mundane things like listening to music. Noise-cancelling seems like a nice feature, though I'll confess I have little idea of how or why that works. Cordlessness isn't a big deal—I don't really want to pay for batteries.

Do you have any recommendations or suggestions of how to select a good pair of headphones? What would your optimal headphones be? Is there a set of headphones that is a good balance of price and performance (perhaps to take on journeys where headphone damage is a risk)? Is there any other equipment I should acquire—sound cards, maybe, not really sure—to better facilitate pristine audio?

Thanks for your expertise,

--Ardilla Feroz

P.S. I've done a cursory Google search and found the following recommended list of 2018 headphones but basically all of them sound good to me. Also, if you're busy don't worry too much about this question.


Dear Ardilla Feroz,

Thanks for asking! I really enjoy headphones as a hobby, mostly for listening to music. I've done a lot of research over the years, and hopefully I can help!

First off, it's important to mention that price alone does little to indicate the sound quality of a headphone. At a given budget, there's a huge range of sound quality. Some headphones are inflated in price by name recognition. Some headphones have fatal flaws in their sound signatures. The fun part is finding the headphone that's the best sound for your budget, and that matches your personal taste in tonality.

The website I trust most for recommendations is innerfidelity.com. It's run by Tyll Hertsens, who has become one of the most well-known and respected headphone reviewers out there. And he's heard EVERYTHING. The reviews on there are focused on the sound quality and are very enlightening. He's careful to combine his listening impressions with actual measurements of the headphones, and the website features a huge database of measurements of different headphones, which can be very useful in seeing how a particular model will perform. I definitely recommend looking at his Wall of Fame pages, where his top headphones for each category and price point are listed with links to the full reviews.

The most important feature of a headphone is its frequency response, or how loud the headphone plays each frequency. Ideally, you'd want the sound to be perfectly flat (same volume) all the way down to 20 Hz and all the way up to 20 kHz. High-end floor-standing speakers achieve this pretty well, but it's way more complicated when you're trying to do it with a tiny driver on your ear. Additionally, a perfectly flat frequency response on a headphone sounds different than a flat response on speakers because the way the sound bounces off our face changes the sound. We're used to that, and so headphones have to tune their response to compensate. That's all really hard to get right in a tiny device, which is why so many headphones fall short. Additionally, there's personal tastes to take into consideration.  One reason I really like Tyll's reviews is that he has very neutral tastes. He wants music to sound natural, which only happens when the frequency response is tuned just right. And when that's there, the magic starts to happen.

Before picking a model, it's important to decide what kind of headphone you want. For pure sound quality, the best headphones out there are over-ear and open-back. The majority of headphones are sealed, meaning that the frame surrounding the drivers is airtight. This creates an air pocket behind the drivers that can make some weird resonances, creating an uneven frequency response. On the other hand, open-back headphones are vented behind the driver. This has several effects. One, it's possible to have a much smoother frequency response, creating a much more natural sound. Two, open-back headphones often make it feel like the sound is coming from outside your head rather than inside. In a good recording, you can hear the sound all around you and even pinpoint where the different instruments are. A good open-back headphone turns music-listening from "mundane" to an immersive and transcendent experience. Classical music is where they shine, but it improves the experience for pretty much any genre.

Now, there's some things to consider about open-back headphones. Since they're open-back, there's almost zero sound isolation. You will hear everything around you, and everyone around you will hear what you're listening to. So it's not ideal if you're around people or in noisy environments. For those situations I would recommend a good pair of sealed headphones, or some in-ears with isolating memory-foam tips. Check Tyll's Wall of Fame for recommendations there. Noise cancelling can give you even more isolation, but it raises the price and can sometimes make the music sound a little weird.

Right now I own the HiFiMAN HE400S, which is a $300 open-back headphone. I really, really enjoy it. When I switched from the similarly-priced Philips X2, it sounded like a synthetic curtain was lifted out of the way. Suddenly I was hearing real sound, in a presentation that is both exciting and pleasant. It injects a lot of life into the music, which is on the other side of the spectrum from the Sennheiser HD650. The HD650 is another excellent neutral headphone, but it's a lot more "transparent" in that it presents the music without trying to add any excitement of its own. Personally, I prefer the HE400S, and since the treble is light it keeps the excitement from being fatiguing.

The sound of the HE400S is excellent for $300, but my ideal headphone would have a little more clarity without losing the pleasant character, and a little more bass. I wondered if that headphone existed, until I heard the Focal Clear over Christmas break. At only $1500, it's the first headphone below $4000 to be practically perfect in every way. I would love to own that headphone. But, I also really enjoy what I already have, and I think my money would be better spent on a nice speaker and subwoofer setup once I actually have my own place.

For in-ears, I have the Philips S2 ($120), which is fantastic for listening to music at work and on the way to school. The memory-foam tips block as much sound as earplugs, so the isolation is great. They're nice enough that I don't mind the sound quality, but they're cheap enough I can throw them in my backpack and not be too afraid of the day they eventually fail, as all earbuds do. Mine have lasted a year and a half so far, which is great. I keep thinking about the Shure SE 535 ($500), but I don't think I would be comfortable carrying around that much breakable money.

Everyone has different ears. Not just mentally, but physically different ears. That impacts what we hear. Since headphones are so subjective, it's helpful to read a lot of reviews and see what people are describing. But to really understand what they mean when they say "clarity" or "transparent" or "neutral" is to start listening to headphones yourself, and to find what you like. That can be hard to do since the showrooms are all closing down, and the business is moving to the internet. So if you ever get an opportunity to listen to something, take it. And Amazon Prime is great because you can order something and then return it, just to hear how it sounds.

You also asked about other equipment, and you're absolutely right. The sound card in your headphone jack that costed a few cents to make is not going to create a signal that will do high-quality headphones justice. Luckily, there's a pretty big market for this. You need both a DAC (to convert the digital signal into analog audio) and an amp (to give that signal enough power to drive your headphones well). Often these come as a packaged combination. The Fulla 2 ($100) sounds great, and is probably the cheapest you can go and get a significant improvement over your phone or laptop. I have one in my office at work. At home I have a Massdrop O2+SDAC ($150).

I know this is a lot to take in. It's quite an involved hobby. But once again I'll point you to the Wall of Fame on innerfidelity.com as a starting point.

With a lot of this, you have to hear it to believe it. Maybe what I'm saying about headphones sounds like snake oils and mumbo jumbo. It really can create a magical experience though. An excellent setup can transform music from mundane to something a little more like this: (source)


Best of luck! Email me if you have any questions!


Question #90910 posted on 02/01/2018 2:47 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What do I need to make sure I do/don't do in order to keep my mac in A+ condition for as long as possible?

new computer


Dear newbie,

There's some boring articles out there that have some run-of-the-mill advice to keep your mac in tip top condition. But did you really come to the illustrious 100 Hour Board to get such tedious and common advice? Of course not! So here's the real deal if you want to keep your mac in a condition unlike your grades:

DON'T throw it against a wall. You may assume your laptop is as capable and durable as a book. This may shock you, but it's not. 

DON'T feed it chocolate, which is poisonous to computers.

DON'T light it on fire. Like books, fire is also super effective against laptops. Alternatively, you may consider finding the top student in your class and lighting their laptop on fire. Top students tend to wreck the curve, which means you won't get into that top master's program.

DON'T water it. And if you do end up watering it, don't plug it in when you do. However, if you want a new, electrifying hairdo, play with the cords while watering your laptop.

DO take it on walks. Though some studies have tried to prove that this doesn't actually help the laptop and is only a trick to get laptop users in the sun each day, I can assure you it's a lie. Taking walks is vital to the health of a laptop. 

DO talk to it lovingly each day. Remind it that your future depends on its little circuits. 

DO consult a therapist if your laptop ever experiences technical difficulties. Such problems are often signs that your relationship is failing, and a therapist can help you better understand each other and make needed adjustments. 

With these tips, hopefully your mac is able to stay in tip top condition! And never forget, if your laptop does unexpectedly die, you may need to take out a huge student loan to buy a new one, take a boring desk job you hate to pay for those student loans, live an unmotivated life due to your depressing job, and die alone at your desk! So never forget to keep your mac in A+ condition!

-guppy of doom

Question #90891 posted on 01/28/2018 10:54 a.m.

Dear Luciana,

My husband and I are going to disneyworld for a Friday and Saturday in April. We trying to decide on 2 parks to visit, so we can save a little money by getting the one-park-per-day ticket instead of the park hopper. I have no idea what there is to do in the non-magic kingdom parks.

The Disney website is a bit overwhelming to me, so I thought I'd ask you if you could give me a quick summary of the parks and maybe a recommendation.

We've been to Disneyland, by we wouldn't mind going to magic kingdom. Our top priority is rides, and we'd probably skip the more little-kid-ish ones like Peter Pan or Small World. We haven't done any of the shows before and don't really care about meeting characters.

Any thoughts to which 2 parks will be the best for us?

-Conference in Orlando


Dear Conference Woman,

In your situation, I would probably recommend going to Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom, but for your reference I'll discuss each park and its pros and cons.

Magic Kingdom

Magic Kingdom is the most iconic park at Walt Disney World, home to Cinderella castle and classic attractions like Dumbo and Pirates of the Caribbean. It is separated into six themed lands that house various attractions, entertainment, and eateries: Main Street U.S.A., Tomorrowland, Fantasyland, Liberty Square, Frontierland, and Adventureland.

Pros: Magic Kingdom is the park with the most attractions, and since you specify that rides are most important to you, that's a big plus. It's also home to some of the most popular and well-known attractions, so if you have fond memories of riding the Jungle Cruise or Big Thunder Mountain in Disneyland, it can hold a lot of nostalgia. With so much to see and do, it's easy to spend a whole day in this one park.

Cons: Magic Kingdom does tend to be one of the more crowded parks, and it is home to a lot of rides geared towards smaller kids, like Peter Pan. A one-day ticket to MK is also slightly more expensive than a one-day ticket to the other parks.


Epcot was Walt Disney's brainchild, originally meant to be a futuristic city where cast members would live, or an "Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow." While that vision didn't exactly work out, Epcot does have two major themed areas: Future World and the World Showcase. Future World is a bit of a misnomer, because I wouldn't necessarily call it futuristic anymore, but it's home to classic attractions like Spaceship Earth and Test Track. The World Showcase features 12 different pavilions celebrating the history and culture of various nations, from Mexico to Morocco.

Pros: Epcot is very unique, as theme parks go, as it has a slightly more educational bent than the other parks. Perusing the world showcase and exploring the wide variety of shops, dining, and entertainment is a truly incredible way to pass a day. There are also some really awesome rides, like Soarin' Around the World which offers stunning views of great architectural achievements. Epcot probably has the best food options of any of the 4 parks, because you can grab a French pastry for breakfast then jump over to China for lunch. Epcot also features some amazing shows and entertainment from performers throughout the World Showcase, from Japanese drummers to French mimes.

Cons: Epcot doesn't have a huge plethora of rides the way Magic Kingdom does. It's home to Soarin', the Seas with Nemo and Friends, Journey into Imagination, Spaceship Earth, Test Track, Mission: Space, Frozen Ever After, and the Gran Fiesta Tour. Some of those are amazing, and others I could easily recommend skipping (particularly Journey into Imagination and the Gran Fiesta Tour, unless you're a huge The Three Caballeros fan).


Hollywood Studios

Hollywood Studios is themed to the classic films and culture of Hollywood. While it is undergoing quite a bit of refurbishment right now, it's home to exciting attractions like Star Tours and The Tower of Terror.

Pros: Some of Disney's most thrilling rides can be found in Hollywood Studios, and there also some shows that are worth seeing. It's also home to my favorite attraction, Toy Story Midway Mania. They have super cool street performances from aspiring actors and actresses. HS also has my favorite nighttime spectacular, Fantasmic, featuring Mickey Mouse and his vivid imagination.

Cons: Hollywood Studios is currently receiving a bit of a facelift, with Toy Story land scheduled to open sometime this summer, and Galaxy's Edge (Star Wars) sometime next year. HS could really use those additions, because currently there are only 4 rides in the entire park: Toy Story Midway Mania, Star Tours, Rock 'n' Roller Coaster, and the Tower of Terror. Those are all awesome rides, but unless you specifically want to see shows like Beauty and the Beast: Live on Stage or the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular, it's hard to fill an entire day. To be clear, most of their shows are good and worth seeing, but if rides are your priority, Hollywood Studios might not be your cup of tea (or noncaffeinated beverage of your choice).

Animal Kingdom

Animal Kingdom is meant to bring us in closer contact with the world of animals than we could otherwise come. It's the newest of Disney's WDW theme parks, and home to the newest land as well (Pandora: World of Avatar). It's various themed lands are designed to ingratiate us with the animal world and allow us to experience animals of the past, present, and imagination. Animal Kingdom is also big into animal education and conservation, so if you're interested in learning about animals and how you can help protect them and their habitats, this is the park for you.

Pros: Animal Kingdom houses some truly incredible attractions, ones that I highly recommend nobody miss. Kilimanjaro Safari takes you through various ecosystems on an African safari, where you'll see real life animals like okapi and elephants. Because the animals are free to wander as they see fit (within reason, of course), every safari will be a unique experience, and you'll get different guides who share facts about the animals you see. Expedition Everest is my favorite roller coaster on Disney property. And one of the newest attractions, Avatar Flight of Passage, is by general consensus one of the most visually and technologically stunning rides ever. Animal Kingdom also has the best-rated show on Disney property, and for good reason. The Festival of the Lion King is incredible and moving and I adore it.

Cons: In terms of simple numbers, Animal Kingdom doesn't have the highest number of rides, coming in with a total of 8. However, shows like Festival of the Lion King and Finding Nemo: The Musical are well worth your time, and it's easy to fill a whole day in this park.

So overall, for your specific purposes, I would recommend Animal Kingdom and Magic Kingdom. You definitely won't get to see everything Disney has to offer with only two days, but with some good planning you can see the most iconic park and the newest attractions.

I have a couple of pieces of general advice. First, you can book dining reservations now for a trip in April, so if there are any table service locations you're particularly interested in, find a reservation now, if you can. Secondly, if you're staying on Disney property, you can book Fastpasses 60 days in advance, starting at 7 a.m. EST. Rides like Space Mountain, Seven Dwarves Mine Train, and Avatar Flight of Passage tend to have very long wait times, and a Fastpass is almost a necessity, so book one as soon as you can. Like, at 7 a.m. EST 60 days before your arrival. Or 30 days before, if you aren't staying at a Disney resort.

I hope you have a magical vacation! If you have any more specific queries, feel free to ask another question, or you can always email me at luciana@theboard.byu.edu and I would be happy to help any way I can.



Question #90871 posted on 01/22/2018 12:20 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I will be graduating soon and then moving across the country for work literally the day of the ceremonies. Along with graduation comes nightmares. (Stay with me.) One of these nightmares involves having books checked out after graduating. In the dream, these policemen (who looked like cowboys out of some Western film) came and threw me in prison.

So, 100 Hour Board, calm my fears. What would happen if I did graduate with books checked out? Will the BYU Police really send Special Agent Cowboys to come capture me?

Thanks in advance,

-The Book Thief


Dear Liesel,

I'm gonna level with you here: I really, really want to know if Special Agent Cowboys are a thing, and the only way I can see us finding out if they are a thing is if you go ahead and try to graduate with those books checked out. I mean, I'd try to do it myself, but I haven't had the dream and so I don't think it would work.

So...take one for the team, please?

-Frère Rubik

P.S. If Special Agent Cowboys are a thing, they're likely under Library Security, not BYU police.

P.P.S. A friend who works at the library says that having overdue library materials could potentially lead to a hold on your account that prevents you from graduating. They didn't say anything about Special Agent Cowboys, but I bet they were just trying to maintain the secrecy of that highly covert task force.

posted on 01/25/2018 11:07 a.m.
Not exactly the same thing, but when I was close to graduating I had some substantial fines to pay because of overdue books. They called me and said that I'd have to close out my account before they officially awarded my degree. This was a long time ago, but I imagine that it's the same now.

-The Man with a Mustache
posted on 01/25/2018 11:07 a.m.
When I graduated, I moved the same day and didn't have time to return a library book. So I mailed it back to the library, as far as I can tell there weren't any problems.

Zwerg Zwei
Question #90860 posted on 01/21/2018 9:29 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Within the First Presidency, does the counselor order always match the apostolic seniority? i.e. the 1st Counselor is the higher seniority apostle and 2nd counselor is the lower seniority apostle (or non-apostle as the case could be). If it doesn't always match, when was the last time it didn't?

Noticer of Patterns


Dear Pattern,

To answer this question, I carefully looked through a list of all the members of the Quorum of the Twelve and noted any calls to the First Presidency. Usually, the counselors were in order of seniority from that quorum, but there were a few exceptions.

  • John Henry Smith was 2nd Counselor while Anthon H. Lund was 1st Counselor, who was lower seniority in the quorum but was already in the First Presidency.
  • David O. McKay was 2nd Counselor while J. Reuben Clark was 1st Counselor, who was lower seniority in the quorum but was already in the First Presidency. However, when David O. McKay became the prophet, J. Reuben Clark became 2nd Counselor and the new 1st Counselor, Stephen L. Richards, had higher seniority.
  • Joseph Fielding Smith was called as an additional Counselor to the First Presidency, when he had higher seniority than the 1st and 2nd Counselors. However, he didn't officially leave the Quorum of the Twelve during that time.
  • Marion G. Romney was 2nd Counselor while N. Eldon Tanner was 1st Counselor, who was lower seniority in the quorum but was already in the First Presidency.
A few other notes:
  • President Eyring is the 2nd person to be moved from 1st Counselor to 2nd Counselor, after J. Reuben Clark who was in a very similar situation.
  • The only other people besides Elder Uchtdorf to return to their places in the Quorum of the Twelve after being in the First Presidency were three Assistant Counselors called by Brigham Young. They were Lorenzo Snow, Brigham Young Jr., and Albert Carrington.

After studying the history, it's apparent that the reorganization we had last week, although not unprecedented, was a little different than tradition. However, it's also become clear that "tradition" is broken all the time when it comes to the First Presidency. At times we've had Assistant Counselors, Other Counselors, and even a Third Counselor. There have been counselors who were never members of the Quorum of the Twelve. Not to mention all the First Presidency members that were excommunicated in the early church. Things these days aren't quite that chaotic.

I really appreciated that President Nelson did a worldwide broadcast to announce the new First Presidency to us, the members. For me it was an experience that reaffirmed my belief that Christ leads this Church and that our leaders are called of Him.

Also, here is a cool list of every First Presidency we've ever had.


posted on 01/22/2018 7:56 p.m.
In addition to the assistant counselors under Brigham Young who were released and returned to their places in the Quorum of the Twelve, Hugh B. Brown and Marion G. Romney served in the First Presidency and were later released and returned to the Twelve.
Question #90849 posted on 02/21/2018 11:06 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How should one respond when confronted with open racism? There I was, being a dutiful visiting teacher - bemoaning the wicked state of the world - and I mentioned that you don't have to look very far to see that the world is lacking in personal revelation. Soon the conversation turned to current events and Charlottesville. My companion (an active Daughter of the Utah Pioneers) said she didn't understand why there could be black pride, but there couldn't be white pride, and expressed concern about erasing history. I was too busy picking my jaw up off the floor to give a proper Christlike response, but I think I mumbled something about how we would be better to celebrate the achievements of our Pioneer ancestors and Dutch or Irish heritage rather than our race. I don't want to break up our companionship, and otherwise, she's as righteous and saintly as they come, but I feel obligated to show her that flying the Confederate flag (her son served a mission in the South) and supporting groups that preach white supremacy is not history, but hate. What should I have said? How can I better model tolerance, when we only see each other for a few minutes a month?

-Little Dutch Girl


Dear You,

The problem I see with "white pride" is that it's so closely associated with white supremacy. Often people who champion "white pride" tend to be white supremacists, which is clearly problematic. And while there was a black supremacy movement led by Malcolm X in the 60s, black pride isn't defined by that, and encompasses so, so much more than black supremacy. I think another difference is that black pride arose out of genuinely problematic social situations that disadvantaged people of color, so it's a response to an actual distasteful situation. White pride, on the other hand, seems to have come about because of people who are uncomfortable with programs that try to benefit people other than whites. At least to me, it almost seems like a way of deflecting the conversation to be about white people again, rather than allowing ourselves to listen and understand why black pride is a thing, and why people of color may be at a disadvantage in this country. I think in general, when people say something about their culture and lived experiences, we would all do better to listen to what they're saying and try to understand where they're coming from, rather than jumping in and saying, "Well what about MY culture?" 

I like what you said about focusing more on our specific heritage, as well. There's nothing wrong with being proud of being Dutch, or Irish, or Swedish or Norwegian or German or French. It's great to know where you come from, and if that heritage gives you a sense of identity and pride, great. But being proud of being Scandinavian is different from being proud of being white. For one thing, the concept of "whiteness" has changed a lot throughout the course of history, and groups that today we would consider to be white haven't always been classified that way by their contemporaries (like the Irish, for example, as well as Mormons, interestingly enough). Historically, "whiteness" has been a label applied to a certain desirable group, that "undesirable" groups have been excluded from; by classifying ourselves primarily by our whiteness rather than our specific heritage, we're associating ourselves with that same hegemonic worldview, intentionally or not. For another thing, "whiteness" has no specific heritage, because it's been such a subjective term over the years. "Blackness," however, has its own heritage for African-Americans, whose ancestors were stripped of their national identities. As white people in the US, we have the privilege of being able to identify our heritage as whatever European country our ancestors came from, or even simply as "American" if we want. But because of the fractured nature of slavery, a lot of African-Americans can't say what specific country their ancestors were from, and while they're certainly American, they were kept so separate for so many years from "mainstream" American culture that blackness became a unifying feature. There's nothing wrong with celebrating your heritage, no matter what color you are. And that's what black pride does. White pride, though, isn't so much about celebrating heritage as it is about celebrating the fact that we're white, so that's why it's better that we focus on our actual heritage if we want something to celebrate about ourselves.

As far as people who try to "protect history" by keeping Confederate imagery alive, my question is, what version of the past are they protecting? Yes, it is a fact that lots of Confederate soldiers were probably brave men doing the best they could in their circumstances. However, it is also a fact that the Confederacy as a whole fought tooth and nail to keep slavery alive, and engaged in disgustingly racist and oppressive practices. If people feel it's so important to protect history, my invitation to them would be to protect individual stories, not symbols of the Confederacy at large. Individual people are complex and nuanced, but the Confederacy as an institution stood for racism and oppression, and by supporting "the Confederacy," that's what you're supporting. History is the study of the past, so if people really care so much about it, maybe they should try to study what actually happened rather than just holding onto their existing worldview.

And as long as we're talking about protecting individual stories, listen to the individual stories of black people. Realize that they have a whole different version of the past than white people do, and neither of those versions is necessarily "correct." If two people attend the exact same church meeting, they'll probably come away with different takeaways and describe it differently, and it's not that one of them is right and one of them is wrong, just that they experienced the same events differently. So yes, if what your visiting teaching companion has heard about the Confederacy is from the viewpoint of people who tried to live just and honorable lives within its structure, she'll have a more favorable view of it than people who hear about it from the viewpoint of the many, many people who were oppressed under it. So if she cares about history so much, invite her to learn more about the people who have a whole different version of the past than what she's heard before, and listen to what they're saying and why they feel the way they do about the Confederacy. I feel like once you truly understand that, it becomes much more difficult to promote the Confederacy at large, even if you still have a personal connection to your own Confederate ancestors or something. 

Sorry, this sort of turned into my own rant against "white pride" and the whole "protecting our nation's history" argument rather than necessarily giving you suggestions for how to model tolerance to your visiting teaching companion. But honestly, if I were you I would just try to combat the single narrative we're often told about minorities. Use examples in your lessons of minorities doing amazing things, in stories that show them as real people rather than stereotypes. Talk about things you like about other cultures and religions and races. Share scriptures that talk about how God loves everyone regardless of race or religion or whatever else, and then talk about how you think those scriptures should be applied in a multicultural country like the US. Recommend books and movies that show minorities in a positive light, or that talk about complex social issues. Maybe this is naive of me, but I'd like to believe that a lot of people who are racist do it unintentionally, and while that doesn't excuse their racism, it does give me hope that if they realize they're being racist, they can change. Your visiting teaching companion has probably never had to face a lot of these issues head-on because they don't affect her, but if you help her understand minorities' experiences better, hopefully she'll realize that she could do more to be more tolerant.

Good luck, friend. Good on you for trying to be a force for good in the world.


posted on 02/21/2018 7:36 p.m.
As for the Confederate flag bit, I would recommend reading "Gone with the Wind" by Margaret Mitchell. Most people think that the Civil War magically ended slavery, and that was that. But during the second half of the 1800s, the south was devastated culturally and economically beyond the ending of slavery due in large part to the militaristic federal government. The confederate flag is tricky because on one hand it's used by extremists, but one the other hand it's used by rural people trying to maintain their liberty from an oppressive government. Their son who spent two years talking with strangers who grew up in the south hasn't told mom to take it down yet.

The only chance you have is to understand enough to have an empathetic conversation, and when you are on that level, she can trust your suggestions. Start with "Gone with the Wind."

Question #90833 posted on 01/21/2018 9:13 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, I have this guy friend. We became decently close last semester, and we spend enough time together (getting lunch, watching movies, hanging out during the day and at night), alone especially, that basically everyone I tell about him asks me why we aren't dating. I'm frustrated, because I don't have a good answer to give! I don't really know why. In the beginning of our friendship he was into another girl, but he isn't anymore, and I'm definitely single. I've gotten two types of advice here--either 1) I should make a move because he's probably into me, given how much time he wants to spend with me alone ("guys don't spend that much time with girls they aren't at least kind of interested in"), and he's most likely just hesitant to do anything because he's afraid of losing my friendship; or 2) I should NOT make a move and just focus on enjoying our friendship because it sounds like he only wants to be friends, plain and simple ("if a guy likes you, he'll ask you out").

You know, I honestly probably would go for it and ask him out but for one thing: he doesn't really initiate physical contact much. Or really at all. We have hugged before, but each time I was the one who initiated it. He never actively tries to sit close to me (like, when we watch movies), either. I know that I can give off don't-touch-me vibes because I'm protective of my personal space, but I've tried to seem more open around him? I dunno. We have so much fun together, and we can talk for hours, and he seems to actively want me around--and this is why I end up feeling confused.

Is this cut-and-dry "if he liked you, you'd know" type stuff and I should just forget about him maybe being romantically interested in me, or is it possible that he's just worried about ruining our friendship and doesn't want to risk doing anything that could potentially weird me out? Am I crazy for wondering if he's purposefully not touching me because he doesn't want me to think he's into me? Am I reading way too much into everything?? (I'm sure that last one is true, but I've been in my head too much to know what else could be true as well.) Thanks in advance for reading all this nonsense!



Dear Ugh,

What did I do in the same situation? Agonized over it for a few months, talked to everyone about it but him, listened to every opinion but my own, and tried to kill the whole idea with grit and fire. But, for your sake I decided to perform an experiment. Like you I had some confusion about dating potential with my best friend. In the spirit of honest research I approached him about it until I got answers. My results are discussed in the sections below. My worry is for you, like me, to have the "what if" thing constantly nagging at the back of your head and you interpreting everything he says and does through that lens. Its the worst. Guessing is the worst. Neither option is a big enough deal to be worth avoiding decisive action. If you think the thought will never go away on its own, it's time you addressed the question openly. None of the conversations described below were really dramatic at all. We were both pretty open and comfortable, excepting a bit of initial awkwardness.

"What If" Relationships: Disambiguation of the male/female friendship


Ambiguous male/female friendships are frustrating, confusing, and exhausting. They are characterized by constant questioning, interpreting, and imagining. Though they hold their own potential, they are often dragged out distractions from other important life goals and potential dating relationships. Communication may be the most accessible and beneficial approach to romantically ambiguous friendships. This experiment explored the communication model as an option for resolving those volatile friendships described above. The participants communicated feelings about each other and the friendship and made decisions collectively. The communication did not result in a dating relationship. However, the active participant reported feelings of relief, accomplishment, control, and greater confidence and self-awareness. Results indicate that communication between mature adults is an effective and positive method for disambiguation in their relationship.


The purpose of this experiment is to provide insight to the action of any person or persons in an ambiguous friendship or a friendship with romantic potential. Though the parameters of this experiment are specific to this study and not universal, the results may assist in the planning, implementation, and motivation that are necessary to clarifying these relationships.  


A long-term male/female friendship was selected and determined to be >90% platonic for most of the duration of the friendship. An environment of interested family, friends, bishoprics, etc. was established to place graduating strain on the certainty of the friendship over time. Once the friendship was known to be volatile (measured to be <60% platonic at any point for either individual at multiple sampling times) the romantic feelings were vocalized by one participant to the other for disambiguation. The participant measuring the variables and vocalizing romantic feelings will furthermore be referred to as "the active participant." The remaining partner will be referred to as "the control."


The active participant took longer than expected to develop, understand, and recognize romantic feelings. This extended the duration of the experiment but did not effect the outcome by any significant figure. Once romantic feelings were admitted by the active participant a series of communication sessions were performed. The final session is of particular note as the active participant gave up trying to understand the situation logically and managed to express actual feelings for the control without regard or fear for the outcome. Average awkwardness across all sessions was measured to be about 27% in time duration, but only about 15% in depth. Satisfaction and understanding increased exponentially with each session. 

Over multiple communication sessions it was established that the friendship was, in fact, questionable and had been questioned by both parties.  The active participant made a logical argument for "trying things out" while the control maintained that, although significantly tempted, it was "not a good idea." Between communication sessions the control continued to hint at the potential of a dating relationship. The active participant therefore continued to question the friendship status and become more confident that she had feelings for the control independent of logical decision making, past or future. A final session included a complete disclosure of romantic feelings from the active participant and a final decision with conditions. The control, now being aware of the magnitude of the active participant's feelings, maintained that he had no interest in dating but also promised to stop being awkward and making off-hand comments about dating interest.  

The resulting emotional state of the active participant is in active flux since the advent of the final session. Some negative feelings have been reported by the active participant such as disappointment, worry for the future, worry for the well-being of the control, and listlessness. The active participant has reported significant lost time watching Boy Meets World, listening to sad Blind Pilot songs, and crying into dry vending machine sandwiches. However, a surprising amount of positive feelings were also reported considering the outcome of the experiment. The active participant reports feelings of immense satisfaction, self-actualization, pride, increased self-awareness etc. She has also shown improved communication skills, empathy, and vulnerability. 


It is proposed that communicating for the disambiguation of male/female friendships has significant positive effects on all parties. The active party, regardless of result, has participated in an act of honesty, courage, and vulnerability and gains the personal confidence and growth that accompanies such acts. The control party receives the benefit of an accurate understanding of the relationship. This provides the means for the control to act appropriately without hurting, "leading on", or confusing the active party. It also provides the control the opportunity to assess and express any romantic feelings or lack thereof so plans for the relationship can be made real-time. 


Any individuals considering "active participation" in their own ambiguous male/female friendship should first establish whether they have romantic feelings for their friend. Determining these feelings need not be done before communication is initiated, as they can be explored in collaboration with the opposite party. Care should be taken to ensure that any acknowledged feelings are organic, appropriate, and persistent. If the active party feels it is necessary to fully disclose their romantic feelings they should approach the conversation with respect and ask questions to understand the opposite party. It is important to remember that the purpose of these conversations is to bring the relationship into a state of stability, sustainability, and balance. Both parties are seeking to resolve questions and settle into a firm reality. Active participants can unquestionably look forward to being agents in their own lives and the positive feelings associated with this status. 



Question #90793 posted on 01/07/2018 7:20 a.m.

Dear Van Goff,

Retirement. Isn't it about... time?

-Van Goff


Dear me,

Unfortunately so. Writing for the Board over the past year has been a phenomenal time, one that my freshman self would be so proud to have experienced. Getting to know the other writers and advising readers on questions has brought my life a ton of purpose and changed my perspective on life in subtle but meaningful ways. That being said, this semester has been a little busier and between school, work, and extracurricular commitments, I felt a little overwhelmed and decided that it would be the best thing for myself and for you as readers to say goodbye at this junction.

Saying goodbye as a writer leaves me with, above everything, gratitude. Thank you, readers, for sending in your questions and entrusting us writers to help you out with whatever's going on in your life. Thanks, fellow writers, for the opportunity to read your fascinating and thoughtful answers, as well as the time spent getting to know you as human beings. It has been a fantastic journey. You are all fantastic, the Board is fantastic, and this little underground BYU community we have here is fantastic. And you know what?



Best of luck in 2018, friends, and we'll see ya around campus!

-Van Goff

Question #90732 posted on 12/18/2017 6:30 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If I have a saltwater aquarium, and somehow the aquarium shatters and the fish fall on the floor, can I put them in fresh water for a short time to save their lives? Or is poor Nemo toast?



Dear Darla,

By "a short time" I hope you don't mean 100 hours, for your fish are certainly dead.


Most fish species tend to live in either saline or freshwater environments. Anecdotal testing by sadistic curious or allegedly informed Quora responders indicate a saltwater fish will die 7-15 minutes after being placed in fresh water. Please, for the sake of the fishes and the childrens, do not try this at home.

If you did actually click on that link, you'll note there are a couple of fish mentioned that are the haline multi-taskers of the water world, fish capable of living in multiple salinities, savvy? To put it in Darla terms, it's probably, like, the fish equivalent of not dying when you eat breakfast for dinner, which—as you'll remember—is not something just any human being can pull off without consequences (RIP Harrison).

Pancaketastrophes aside, fish capable of living in various salinities of water are know as euryhaline fish. The ways they pull of this shenanigan-ry differ, as do to their reasons. Some live in estuaries, where rivers and oceans intersect. Others may live in brackish mangrove swamps. Some, like salmon and eels, complete part of their life cycle in fresh water and part of it in the ocean. Salmon breed in mountain rivers and streams. Eels, at least European Eels, are suspected to spawn in the calm waters of the Sargasso Sea (apparently these eels aren't doing so hot population-wise, but they don't tell you that on the telly, now do they?) and return to freshwater rivers to live.

If you'd like to learn more about the fish and creatures that see fit to inhabit salinities diverse, I'd recommend you peruse further Wikipedia's entry on euryhaline fish. White perch, mollies, puffer fish, shad, striped bass, sturgeon, herring, and the superbly named mummichog are among this robust group; as are bull sharks, which probably deserve a Board question all of their own.

So are your fish dead? Depending on what you kept in your crystalline box of water: yes, no, and maybe.


--Ardilla Fish-roz

P.S. Did you know? There is a whole genus of sharks that live in rivers. These aren't bull sharks, which are a sort of requiem shark (you know the type: loves the ocean, has live births, sings in Mass), this is the elusive, rare and mysterious Glyphis genus.There's not a lot known about them, and some of the information I found about them is conflicting. Wikipedia asserts there are three species, two of which can live in the ocean, one—the Ganges Shark—which lives exclusively in the Ganges and Brahmaputra rivers of India. A website describing ray and shark biology posits the genus may have as many as six species, less than half of which have been fully described.

Question #90676 posted on 12/08/2017 5:32 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So In your guys' minds, what do you think is the craziest conspiracy theory ever (that some people actually believe).

Some I've encountered include

-Flat Earth
-The Lizard People
-European Royalty eat babies
-The Holocaust never happened
-'Transvestigation Hollywood' (all famous people are trannies)
-Nazi's are still hiding in Antarctica
-The earth is hallow.
-Secret military operations have invented time travel
-CERN is a portal to hell
-Ancient Astronauts
-There's a child slave colony on mars

If you can't find anything crazier that's fine, I'm just thinking how could anyone ever believe anything like this ever. I've entertained plenty of conspiracy theories before, but some of these are just so out there that I wonder how they even got started. Most of these make your run of the mill 9-11 truther or JFK assassination investigator look pretty sane. Are they all schizophrenic or something? Do you think they're all lonely psychos living in their parents basements? What do you think of people who post youtube videos on these topics. The scary thing is that more and more people are starting to believe some of this stuff because of the internet. I'm sort of looking for a serious answer to why and how people can entertain the most outlandish of the most outlandish.



Dear non-believer,

Well, it's true that earth really is flat. Actually, it hasn't always been, but because the Nazi's are still hiding in Antarctica, our military had to employ secret operations and invent time travel to go back and find the ancient astronauts who would flatten the earth so that it would be easier to find Antarctica on a map. In order for the ancient astronauts to agree to flatten the earth, they demanded that we give them a bunch of children so they could start a child slave colony on Mars. Fortunately, for us, we were smart and just sent them dolls, not actual children. When the ancient astronauts found this out, however, they decided to increase the width of our flat earth and make it hollow. The lizard people found out that our flat earth was hollowed out and they decided to live in the hollow earth. One day, the queen of the lizard people was invited by a stake president in Utah to a ward chili cook-off. Queen Komodo decided that she was going to make the hottest chili on the planet. It took her a few months, but she finally got all of the ingredients just right. She was so excited to share this chili at the cook-off, but when she was transporting the chili to her mini-van, she accidentally tripped and the chili (which was made in a GIGANTIC pot) spilled everywhere! Luckily she was still in the middle of the flat, hollow earth and so only on occasion does some of the chili make it to the surface. And you thought lava was real? Nope, just flamin' hot chili.

I'm glad that I was finally able to get the TRUTH out!

-Sunday Night Banter

Question #90637 posted on 01/06/2018 11:50 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Here’s a long question. I kinda question that hasn’t been asked since the good ol glory days of the board. So I’m gonna list some people from different meyersbriggs (MBTI) types. Now don’t argue with the categories, just what do you think would happen in an all out war between the different types. Ok ESTJ lead by Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Pierce Brosnan, Gaston from beauty and the beast, hulk hogan, Dr Phil. and Kirk Kerkorian. iSTJ lead by George Washington, Ron Paul, Hillary Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Steve Young, and Dan Brown. iSFJ lead by Gandhi, Brad Pitt, high Hackman, David Beckham, Mulan, and Legolas. Esfj lead by Barack Obama and Michelle, ryan Reynolds, Mr Rogers, Reese Witherspoon, John Bytheway, and Julia Roberts. INTJ with Leonardo da Vinci, Tesla, Aristotle, captain Picard, professor X, Gandalf, and dumbledore. Entj with Conan o’brien, David o Mckay, David letterman, Mitt Romney, bill Bradley, and Rachel Maddow. eNTp with Napoleon, Theodore Roosevelt, Benjamin franklin, president hinckley, Alex Jones, Jay Leno, and Jamie Lee Curtis. Intp with Einstein, Plato, Ayn Rand, steve jobs, bill gates, and l Ron Hubbard. Enfj with Jim Carey, ben Stiller, Kermit the frog, buffs bunny, Robert Downey jr, and Tina fey. Infj with obi won kenobi, thomas Jefferson, captain jack Sparrow, Lady Gaga, and Brandon Flowers. Infp with Beethoven, Luna lovegood, lisa Simpson, John Lennon, Edgar Allan Poe, and Stepehnie Meyer. Enfp with Freddy Mercury, Ellen degeneres, Roger Stone, Glenn Beck, and Gene Wilder. ISFP with Martin Luther king, nelson Mandela, usher, t-Swift, justin Timberlake, and Beyoncé. Esfp with Penelope Cruz, Donny osmond, justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, will smith, and Adam Sandler. ISTP with genghis khan, Mark zuckerburg, president Eisenhower, Bruce Willis, Han Solo, and Indiana Jones. And ESTP with Tyra Banks, Cenk Uyghur, President Monson, Rush Limbaugh, Oprah, Sinbad, and Babe Ruth. Now please don’t rearrange the groups. Just use these characters to write an epically fun story of fighting, survival, and conquering. I expect the answer to be at least 5-10 times longer than the question. I’ll give someone a month to work on it.

-MBTI enthusiasts


Dear person,

I have completed a thorough analysis based on the proportion of the total population that is each personality type (assuming that these personality types and their distributions aren't culturally bound), the leaders of the group, and the personality traits of the group. I obtained the highly valid and reliable information about the proportions of the population who are each personality type here and the descriptions of each personality type here.

Additionally, I assume that each of these types has been isolated from other types for a long time and that a Hunger Games style situation is forcing these groups to fight each other. For convenience, I assume that the amount of landmass occupied by each group is proportional to the amount of people in the group. For fun/also convenience, I assigned these groups to areas currently occupied by existing countries/dependencies in order of this list on Wikipedia

Allow me to start by introducing each of the groups:

The ISFJ (comprising 13.8% of the total population and located in Russia) are led by Gandhi, Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Mulan, and Legolas. It is also led by a guy named High Hackman, but we aren't sure who he is because no Google search, Facebook search, or LinkedIn search gives us any information about his identity. Perhaps he is no one, but given his leadership status I think he is, in fact, a man of the shadows whose anonymity is his strength. Members of this group have been described thus: "Quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. Committed and steady in meeting their obligations. Thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Loyal, considerate, notice and remember specifics about people who are important to them, concerned with how others feel. Strive to create an orderly and harmonious environment at work and at home".

The ESFJ (comprising 12.3% of the total population and located in Antarctica) are led by Barack and Michelle Obama, Ryan Reynolds, Mr. Rogers, Reese Witherspoon, John Bytheway, and Julia Roberts. Members of this group have been described thus: "Warmhearted, conscientious, and cooperative. Want harmony in their environment, work with determination to establish it. Like to work with others to complete tasks accurately and on time. Loyal, follow through even in small matters. Notice what others need in their day-by-day lives and try to provide it. Want to be appreciated for who they are and for what they contribute."

The ISTJ (comprising 11.6% of the population and located in Canada) are led by George Washington, Ron Paul, Hillary Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Steve Young, and Dan Brown. Additionally, the Board's own Mitty is part of this group. Members of the ISTJ have been described thus: "Quiet, serious, earn success by thoroughness and dependability. Practical, matter-of-fact, realistic, and responsible. Decide logically what should be done and work toward it steadily, regardless of distractions. Take pleasure in making everything orderly and organized - their work, their home, their life. Value traditions and loyalty."

The ISFP (comprising 8.8% of the population and located in China) are led by Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Usher, T-Swift, Justin Timberlake, and Beyoncé. Members of this group have been described thus: "Quiet, friendly, sensitive, and kind. Enjoy the present moment, what's going on around them. Like to have their own space and to work within their own time frame. Loyal and committed to their values and to people who are important to them. Dislike disagreements and conflicts, do not force their opinions or values on others.

The ESTJ (comprising 8.7% of the population and located in the United States) are led by Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Pierce Brosnan, Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, Hulk Hogan, Dr. Phil, and Kirk Kerkorian. Members of this group have been described thus: "Practical, realistic, matter-of-fact. Decisive, quickly move to implement decisions. Organize projects and people to get things done, focus on getting results in the most efficient way possible. Take care of routine details. Have a clear set of logical standards, systematically follow them and want others to also. Forceful in implementing their plans."

The ESFP (comprising 8.5% of the population and located in Brazil) are led by Donny Osmond, Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, Will Smith, Penelope Cruz, and Adam Sandler. Members of this group have been described thus: "Outgoing, friendly, and accepting. Exuberant lovers of life, people, and material comforts. Enjoy working with others to make things happen. Bring common sense and a realistic approach to their work, and make work fun. Flexible and spontaneous, adapt readily to new people and environments. Learn best by trying a new skill with other people."

The ENFP (comprising 8.1% of the population and located in Australia) are led by Freddy Mercury, Ellen Degeneres, Roger Stone, Glenn Beck, and Gene Wilder. Additionally, Alta and Tipperary are part of this group. Members of the ENFP have been described thus: "Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency."

The ISTP (comprising 5.4% of the population and located in India) are led by Genghis Khan, Mark Zuckerburg, Dwight Eisenhower, Bruce Willis, Han Solo, and Indiana Jones. Members of this group have been described thus: "Tolerant and flexible, quiet observers until a problem appears, then act quickly to find workable solutions. Analyze what makes things work and readily get through large amounts of data to isolate the core of practical problems. Interested in cause and effect, organize facts using logical principles, value efficiency."

The INFP (comprising 4.4% of the population and located in Argentina) are led by Beethoven, Luna Lovegood, Lisa Simpson, John Lennon, Edgar Allan Poe, and Stephanie Meyer. Additionally, Van Goff and Sherpa Dave are members of this group. Members of the INFP have been described thus: "Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them. Want an external life that is congruent with their values. Curious, quick to see possibilities, can be catalysts for implementing ideas. Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened."

The ESTP (comprising 4.3% of the population and located in Kazakhstan) are led by Tyra Banks, Cenk Uyghur, President Monson, Rush Limbaugh, Oprah, Sinbad, and Babe Ruth. Members of this group have been described thus: "Flexible and tolerant, they take a pragmatic approach focused on immediate results. Theories and conceptual explanations bore them - they want to act energetically to solve the problem. Focus on the here-and-now, spontaneous, enjoy each moment that they can be active with others. Enjoy material comforts and style. Learn best through doing."

The ENFJ (comprising 2.5% of the population and located in Algeria) are led by Jim Carey, Ben Stiller, Kermit the Frog, Buggs Bunny, Robert Downey Jr., and Tina Fey. Additionally, I, Sheebs, identify as a member of this group, as does Anathema. Members of the ENFJ have been described thus: "Warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. Highly attuned to the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. Find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential. May act as catalysts for individual and group growth. Loyal, responsive to praise and criticism. Sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership."

The INTJ (comprising 2.1% of the population and located in the Democratic Republic of the Congo) are led by Gandalf, Dumbledore, Professor X, Leonardo da Vinci, Aristotle, Captain Picard, and Tesla. Additionally, The Entomophagist is a member of this group. Members of the INTJ have been described thus: "Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Quickly see patterns in external events and develop long-range explanatory perspectives. When committed, organize a job and carry it through. Skeptical and independent, have high standards of competence and performance - for themselves and others."

The INTP (comprising 3.3% of the population and located in Greenland) are led by Einstein, Plato, Ayn Rand, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and L. Ron Hubbard. Members of the INTP have been described thus: "Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical."

The ENTP (comprising 3.2% of the population and located in Saudi Arabia) are led by Napoleon, Theodore Roosevelt, Benjamin Franklin, President Hinckley, Alex Jones, Jay Leno, and Jamie Lee Curtis. They have been described thus: "Quick, ingenious, stimulating, alert, and outspoken. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems. Adept at generating conceptual possibilities and then analyzing them strategically. Good at reading other people. Bored by routine, will seldom do the same thing the same way, apt to turn to one new interest after another."

The ENTJ (comprising 1.8% of the population and located in Mexico) are led by Conan O’Brien, David O. Mckay, David Letterman, Mitt Romney, Bill Bradley, and Rachel Maddow. They have been described thus: "Frank, decisive, assume leadership readily. Quickly see illogical and inefficient procedures and policies, develop and implement comprehensive systems to solve organizational problems. Enjoy long-term planning and goal setting. Usually well informed, well read, enjoy expanding their knowledge and passing it on to others. Forceful in presenting their ideas."

The INFJ (comprising 1.5% of the population and located in Indonesia) are led by Obi-Wan Kenobi, Thomas Jefferson, Captain Jack Sparrow, Lady Gaga, and Brandon Flowers. Additionally, the guppy of doom is a member of this group. Members of the INFJ have been described thus: "Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. Conscientious and committed to their firm values. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. Organized and decisive in implementing their vision.

Here is what happens initially:

The ISFJ, under the leadership of Gandhi, Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Mulan, Legolas, and Hugh Hickman, are responsible and conscientious enough to know that winter is coming and that Russia is not the place to be. Seeing as Europe is largely uninhabited, they use the existing infrastructure to get as many people as possible as far west into Europe as they are able. Those who are left behind subsist on what they can harvest and existing stored food. Legolas and his elf ISFJs teach as many people as possible their fighting techniques behind Gandhi's back and go to southern Russia to start a new Mirkwood. They do not wish to go to war but want to be prepared.

The ESFJ, who inhabit the Antarctic Peninsula because everywhere else in Antarctica is terrible, are having tremendous difficulties surviving in their inhospitable land. There is little existing infrastructure. The 900 million-strong group must subsist on seals and penguins at temperatures just below freezing as it is the springtime in the southern hemisphere. However, they obviously can't. The nearest continent is 800 km away. Unfortunately, they all do not make it despite the inspiring leadership of the Obamas, Ryan Reynolds, Mr. Rogers, Reese Witherspoon, John Bytheway, and Julia Roberts.

Under the direction of George Washington, Ron Paul, Hillary Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Steve Young, Dan Brown, and Mitty, the ISTJ, located in Canada, harvests what it can along the border with the US. They immediately invade the lands of the ESTJ in the US, which is easy to do because the ESTJ are led by Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Pierce Brosnan, Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, Hulk Hogan, Dr. Phil, and Kirk Kerkorian. Kirk Kerkorian, the only one with relevant skills, does his best but had tremendous interpersonal difficulty with Gaston, Hulk Hogan, and Dr. Phil. The Rock and Pierce Brosnan did what they could to help but they were not terribly helpful. After a few days, Gaston kills all of his fellow leaders in a fit of narcissistic rage. The ESTJ turn on Gaston. The weakened ESTJ succumb to the ISTJ almost immediately.

The ISFP over in China, led by Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Usher, T-Swift, Justin Timberlake, and Beyoncé, by nature dislike disagreement and conflicts. Grateful that no one else is nearby, they harvest, prepare for the winter, and try to live regular lives the best they can. As this whole situation is very Western-biased and Westerners are in charge, this is a bothersome situation for many people who are originally from China and who constitute a substantial minority of the population. However, resigned to the odd situation, the reluctant leaders and the locals work together as well as they possibly can to ensure the survival of the group given the constraints of the highly contrived situation. 

The ESFP in Brazil, led by Donny Osmond, Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, Will Smith, Penelope Cruz, and Adam Sandler, suffer because of the incompetence of their leaders. Will Smith seems to think that he is in I Am Legend and urges everyone to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. However, the fun-loving ESFP are not on board with this. They do not have to deal with a hostile climate so they work, try to enjoy life the best they can, and try not to worry too much about the future.

The ENFP, led by Freddy Mercury, Ellen DeGeneres, Roger Stone, Glenn Beck, Gene Wilder, Alta, and Tipperary, work well together as a society in Australia. They find many dangerous animals and capture them. They do not plan to invade anybody else, but they want to be prepared to counterattack with Australia's scariest critters if anyone should come and attack. Many are irritated by Glenn Beck and Roger Stone, so they and their followers sail to New Zealand to live by themselves where they can build their own personal utopia. Ellen becomes the supreme leader. Gene Wilder becomes the assistant to the supreme leader. Freddie Mercury writes inspiring music. All is well. 

The ISTP, located in India, are a conflicted lot - though their description reads: "Tolerant and flexible, quiet observers until a problem appears, then act quickly to find workable solutions. Analyze what makes things work and readily get through large amounts of data to isolate the core of practical problems. Interested in cause and effect, organize facts using logical principles, value efficiency", they are led by Genghis Khan, Mark Zuckerberg, Dwight Eisenhower, Bruce Willis, Han Solo, and Indiana Jones. Genghis Khan and Eisenhower quickly become military dictators. Many of the ISTP dutifully stay on earth. However, Bruce Willis, Indiana Jones, and Mark Zuckerberg pressure Han Solo into transporting them and whoever else of the ISTP on the Millenium Falcon to inhabit planets that are not at war. Mark Zuckerberg gives Han Solo his entire fortune to finance this. About half of the ISTP leave for other parts of the galaxy where they integrate with local Star Wars populations. Indiana Jones and Bruce Willis join the Jedi as they are both force-sensitive. Mark Zuckerberg goes to live with the Ewoks on Endor.

The INFP in Argentina, led by Beethoven, Luna Lovegood, Lisa Simpson, John Lennon, Edgar Allen Poe, Stephanie Meyer, Van Goff, and Sherpa Dave, produce beautiful art. Except for Stephenie Meyer. Upon examination of her work by the likes of Edgar Allen Poe, Stephenie Meyer is cast out for writing the Twilight books. Lisa Simpson is supportive of all of the artists who remain but becomes very anxious about the food situation. She confides this to Luna Lovegood, who remembers that it is possible to multiply existing food. So Luna commits about an hour a day to multiplying enormous amounts of food that Lisa organizes and has volunteers ship out to villages. Those who are interested in growing food also contribute. Most people like to grow their own gardens. They do not attack the ESFP and the ESFP do not attack them. For now, everyone in South America is safe. 

The ESTP, located in the little-known land of Kazakhstan, led by Tyra Banks, Cenk Uyghur, President Monson, Rush Limbaugh, Oprah, Sinbad, and Babe Ruth are nervous about the elf ISFJ Mirkwood in southern Russia. However, they quickly realize they must adapt to the harsh continental climate in the steppes of central Asia. After doing their research about the area, they decide to head to the southeast for relatively milder winter weather and to take advantage of existing infrastructure for survival. However, this was a difficult journey and the ESTP were severely weakened.

The ENFJ, led by Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller, Kermit the Frog, Buggs Bunny, Robert Downey Jr., Tina Fey, Sheebs, and Anathema, find themselves on the southern coast of the Mediterranean. They are immensely pleased with the climate and food. However, they are alarmed by the presence of the INTJ on the same continent. They head west to Morocco. Those who are capable of swimming 10 or so kilometres swim across the Gibraltar strait and escape into Europe and attempt to migrate northward as much as possible.

The INTJ, led by the likes of Dumbledore, Gandalf, Professor X, Leonardo da Vinci, Aristotle, Captain Picard, and Tesla, know that despite their small population that they are intensely formidable. Dumbledore and Gandalf become best friends. Quickly realizing the great talent of Professor X, they heal him and restore his access to his powers. While Leonardo, Aristotle, Tesla, and Picard are muggles, Dumbledore and Gandalf see their obvious brilliance and begin to collaborate with them. Tesla tutors Leonardo and Aristotle in modern mathematics and science, which they learn very quickly. Caught up in their own brilliance, they neglect the rest of the INTJ, who do their best to survive in the vast forests of the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Picard finds this elitism intolerable and attempts to gather them and provide some leadership and support. 

The INTP, located in Greenland and led by Einstein, Plato, Ayn Rand, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and L. Ron Hubbard, have conflict. Intensely jealous of Gates and Jobs, L. Ron Hubbard takes several INTP members and starts a cult to make money. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates use their immense wealth to transport the population to Iceland and the United Kingdom. Because of their immense power over both Apple and Microsoft, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates start hacking all of the computers in the world (except Linux ones). In their spare time, they teach Einstein how to program things. Ayn Rand and Plato secretly fall in love each other but spend much of their time arguing about self-interest and self-sacrifice. 

The ENTP, located in Saudi Arabia and led by Napoleon, Theodore Roosevelt, Benjamin Franklin, President Hinckley, Alex Jones, Jay Leno, and Jamie Lee Curtis, find themselves in a vast desert. Napoleon constantly terrorizes everyone and is incredibly jealous of President Hinckley for being everyone's favorite leader. President Hinckley leads the people underneath the desert into the vast, maze-like caves where they hide and somehow find enough food and water to sustain themselves. Benjamin Franklin devotes his time to building secret treasure chambers like the ones in National Treasure. Jay Leno encourages him. 

The ENTJ in Mexico, led by Conan O’Brien, David O. McKay, David Letterman, Mitt Romney, Bill Bradley, and Rachel Maddow, do all right for themselves overall. Mitt Romney becomes the president. They prepare to be invaded by the ISTJ. 

The INFJ, located in Indonesia and led by Obi-Wan Kenobi, Thomas Jefferson, Captain Jack Sparrow, Lady Gaga, Brandon Flowers, and the guppy of doom, are grateful for their relative solitude. Jack Sparrow falls in love with Lady Gaga, but she rejects him. Hurt, he left the bigger group and took many with him to explore the islands. Obi-Wan starts training force-sensitive people in the ways of the Jedi so that the tiny amount of people have a chance at surviving.

After 1 year:

High Hackman of the ISFJ has mysteriously disappeared during the migration from Russia to the more temperature climates of Europe. The ISFJ have obtained heavy losses and continue to do so as they fight the ENFJ, who have been hanging around the Mediterranean and are well-fed and fortified. Ultimately, the ENFJ overtake them. Kermit the Frog has taken to wearing his dark hood and has proclaimed himself the supreme leader of the ENFJ. Tina Fey and Jim Carrey make fun of him behind his back but he finds out and has them assassinated. Buggs Bunny, enraged, plots against him. Ben Stiller, Sheebs, and Anathema are terrified.

The ISTJ continue their spread southward and easily overtake the ENTJ. They now occupy what was once Canada, the US, and Mexico. 

Ellen, the supreme leader of the ENFP in Australia, has made the kangaroo the ENFP mascot and "Bohemian Rhapsody" the national anthem. Glenn Beck and Roger Stone rule over their hotbed of conservatism in New Zealand. Ellen makes fun of them. Freddie Mercury makes amazing music. 

The ISTP who have remained on Earth have taken successful military action against the ESTP, who struggled to survive in Kazakhstan's extreme climate. Genghis Khan and Eisenhower, though they have their disagreements, are very effective together. They head toward Saudi Arabia to find the ENTP, who are living underground in hidden secret crystal caves. Mark Zuckerberg has successfully integrated into Ewok society. 

Dumbledore, Gandalf, Professor X, Aristotle, Leonardo, and Tesla have found ways to integrate magic with modern technology. Tesla has been working with Professor X to recreate Cerebro so that they can control the minds of everyone in the world, though this is proving more complicated than expected. Aristotle and Leonardo have teamed up with Dumbledore to create flying boats, metal dragons, and wands that muggles can use. Gandalf supports them but is much more interested in controlling the weather and making giant bonfires. Captain Picard and the rest of the INTJ farm, hunt, and gather.

The INTP are living on Iceland as well as in the British Isles. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have successfully hacked all computers in the world. Tesla of the INTJ based the new Cerebro on a jailbroken Apple device, something that Steve and Bill have noticed and are working on hacking. 

The ISFP continue in their isolated existence in the area that was once China, hoping that they will be able to avoid all conflict. The ESFP continue to live in the moment, which they try to make fun. The INFP continue to make beautiful art. The INFJ continue exploring Oceania. 

After 2 years:

The ENFJ, despite their smaller numbers, successfully take over continental Europe as the ISFJ fail to recover from their weakened state. However, they are spread fairly thin. They do not feel they have the resources to take on the INTP.

The ISTJ continue to spread southward and easily dominate the unprepared ESFP and INFP. However, they experience a profound existential crisis when they examine the art of the INFP and lose the will to keep conquering. They have "successfully" taken over the Americas, but could they have made other choices? Would the consequences have been better, or could they somehow have been worse? It seems, somehow, that they may still be free to choose. Perhaps they had been throughout their conquest as they sent so many individuals into the unknown. With terror, they realize that perhaps they sent all those people to oblivion. How can they continue to believe that there is meaning in life when the universe had contrived such a cruel situation? Torn between admiration of art and a crushing sense of nihilism, the ISTJ became paralyzed by a sense of total absurdity. 

The supreme leader, Ellen, remains popular with the ENFP as she rules with benevolence and absolute hilarity. She spends much of her day hiding in public places so that she can jump out and scare people.

The ISTP languish in Saudi Arabia, completely at a loss to find the ENTP hiding in the extensive caves beneath the desert. After months of searching, they fizzle out in the hot landscape and were no more. Mark Zuckerberg is now the leader of the Ewoks. 

With regard to the activities of the INTJ, Tesla is on the verge of completing the new Cerebro for Professor X. Dumbledore, Aristotle, and Leonardo create more whimsical weapons. Gandalf continues making bonfires. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates of the INTP are way ahead of Tesla and have the Cerebro under their total control. They have also started hacking the of the computer-based inventions of Dumbledore, Aristotle, and Leonardo. 

The ISFP continue their peaceful lifestyle. The INFJ continue their seafaring life. 

After 3 years:

Ready to unleash havoc, the INTJ leaders arm their subjects with wands that muggles can use and set out to take over the world with science and magic together. However, at the last moment before attacking the ENFJ, ENTP, ISFP, and INFJ, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates of the ENTP crash their entire system so that absolutely none of the magic-science inventions worked. In a wave of unsuppressible frustration, Gandalf creates such intense weather that everyone on Earth's surface dies. Including himself.

Ultimately, only the ENTP, led by Napoleon, Theodore Roosevelt, Benjamin Franklin, President Hinckley, Alex Jones, Jay Leno, and Jamie Lee Curtis, survived as they hid in the extensive underground caves. Somehow, they had also been joined by High Hackman. However, their victory felt empty.

The end.


Question #90627 posted on 11/11/2017 2:02 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My class/work/lack-of-a-car situation is such that I end up doing a lot of walking throughout the day, and a few weeks ago I got back into listening to podcasts, and I want to hear some of your recommendations! I listened to Limetown years ago when it first came out and liked it a lot, so I just started listening to Ars Paradoxica and The Bright Sessions on the recommendation of a friend. They are all sci-fi/mystery genre, but I'm open to any suggestions.

-hoping that having podcasts to listen to will distract her from freezing to death while walking all over campus when snow flies

p.s. I also really like listening to General Conference talks so if one of you has a good way to do that walking around without wifi, I'd love to hear your secret! I don't think there's a way to download them for offline playback in the gospel library app but I would be super happy to be proven wrong . . .


Dear friend,

Ooh, fun! That's a great usage of your walking time. Lucky for you, I listen to an obscene amount of podcasts while working, which means you're going to get a pretty extensive recommendation list. Hopefully, a few of these match what you're looking for. Best of luck on your podcast-searching journey!


The Adventure Zone: Well-known podcasters Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy (AKA the McElroy Brothers) play Dungeons & Dragons while weaving together a fantasy tale that is hilarious and surprisingly deep at times. A bit of non-PG language but nothing too crazy.

Welcome to Night Vale: Basically "Twilight Zone: The Podcast." Told in a news radio format, WTNV reports the strange happenings in a small desert community where there is no dog park, there are no hooded figures in the dog park, and you should definitely not look for any period of time at the hooded figures or dog park. I actually haven't listened regularly for a while but am assuming it's still awesome.

The Mysterious Secrets of Uncle Bertie's Botinarium: This is a fun little fantasy podcast that stars Jemaine Clement. Enough said, but just to further entice you: basically, an eighteenth-century ship commandeered by Lord Joseph Banks is on a mission to find Heaven's Clover, a plant said to be the source of all pleasure in the world. So far, I've only watched the first episode but it seemed like it might fit your tastes.

Lore: This podcast explores the spooky legends behind folklore and myths: good if you like scary stories steeped in, though not to be confused with, history. They just did a fascinating-creepy one on the obsession with accidentally being buried alive in Victorian culture, which was super interesting in a "hmm didn't need sleep anyways" way.


Modern Love: "Stories of love, loss, and redemption." Every week, notable actors and actresses read reader-submitted essays about love in all its forms. Some are heartbreaking, some are hopeful, some are a little of both, and all are beautiful. Usually, the host follows-up with the essay writer in an interview to hear more about their story and where life's taken them now.

Beautiful/Anonymous: The host, comedian Chris Gethard, takes phone calls from strangers all over the world for an hour, with the only rule being that they cannot reveal their name. It's awesome because you get to hear the deepest thoughts of one person each week and their hopes, fears, confessions, or whatever else they want to pour their hearts out on. You really get to feel connected to them, at least for that hour. Makes you realize that everyone has a story. Also, there's an episode called "Jack Mormon," which is interesting to hear from an LDS perspective.

Sincerely X: Have you ever said to yourself, "I sure love Ted Talks but wish they were more controversial?" Haven't we all. This podcast is a Ted Talk spinoff with anonymous speakers who share stories that might otherwise be too sensitive or painful to share publically. They're usually pretty important perspectives to hear and, even if you don't agree with their viewpoint, fascinating.

The Moth Radio Hour: Features select speakers from The Moth, a storytelling group with events all over the United States. This and Snap Judgment are probably the most similar in style to General Conference talks in that they're more structured and usually come to some sort of closure, whereas some of the other podcasts in this section are more free-form. There's a ton of brilliant speakers on The Moth, but my dad and I especially love Edgar Oliver's bizarre-fascinating stories about growing up in Savannah, Georgia with his eccentric family. It's kind of a running joke in my family to imitate his accent (which, contrary to what you might think, does not sound Southern at all).

Snap Judgment: Features two or three true personal stories a week based on a common theme, like "Duality," "Coming to America," or "Slippery Slope." Sort of like The Moth, but the stories are prerecorded and feature dramatic effects. Also, if you like scary stories, try the spin-off Spooked.

Mental Illness Happy Hour: Weekly podcast that interviews artists, comedians, writers, and other well-known people about their struggles with mental illness, trauma, or addiction and how they were able to overcome it. Its focus is putting light on the prevalence of mental illness in the creative arts in the hopes of helping people feel less alone and find help themselves.

Educational Fun

Sawbones: Run by a The Adventure Zone host (Justin McElroy) and his wife Sydnee McElroy, who is a doctor. Each episode dives into a tidbit from medical history to discuss all of the strange ideas humans once had about how our bodies work and what to do when they stop working. Episodes are often weird and sometimes gross but always fascinating.

Harry Potter and the Sacred Text: This podcast is run by two Harvard Divinity School grad students who are reading the Harry Potter series just like a Christian might read the Bible or a Muslim might read the Quran. Each episode uses traditional forms of sacred reading to glean meaning and inspiration from the books, one chapter per week. I'm still in Sorcerer's Stone because I don't listen that often but they're up to Goblet of Fire.

Hardcore History: This podcast explores on various historical topics in a way that feels nuanced and, though I'm definitely not a History major, well-informed. The latest episode released called "The Celtic Holocaust," which I think is about Julius Caesar and Rome's conquest of Gaul and the ancient Celtic people (haven't listened to it yet). Awesome podcasts if you enjoy humanities classes and want to understand a historical event in detail.

Philosophize This!: Super in-depth podcast on the history of philosophy from pre-Socratic philosophy to the present (well, eventually, since the podcast isn't done yet). How in-depth? The podcast is currently on #113 and they're just hitting the early twentieth century. I'm not far into this podcast (just learned a bit about Confucianism) but am loving it so far. It's like the history of philosophy class I always wanted to take but never had the elective time for. If you have found yourself in a similar elective predicament, you might enjoy this podcast, too.

Also if you want to see if audiobooks hold your attention, LibriVox has free classic audiobooks. If it's in the public domain, it's probably offered in an audiobook format there. Best of luck in your podcasting and walking adventures!

-Van Goff

Question #90625 posted on 11/17/2017 5:26 p.m.

Dear Curious Physics Minor,

Why are you still here?



Dear me,

You're right.  It's time to move on.

I joined the Board as a webmaster in June 2006.  Back then, the Board only posted questions at 3 AM Mon-Sat.  I've been around for just short of 65,000 questions.  I believe I've held the longest active affiliation with the Board in its history.  I helped shepherd the Board out of the Linguistics Department to the Daily Universe and then out of the Daily Universe.  I battled security compromises on the old Board 4.0 system.  I drove the development of Board 5.0.  I single-handedly saved the Board from oblivion during the Great BYU SAN Disaster of 2012.  But I no longer have any real connection with the Board, its writers, or its readers.  I graduated from BYU more than 8 years ago.  I don't believe I've ever met any current writer in person.  I have maintained my position for the purposes of keeping the Board system healthy and functioning.  But I have no time to perform needed upgrades, fix bugs, or add features.  With coming adjustments to how the Board is operated the need for my services has come to an end.

I was going to try and read through my responses and find my favorites to link here, but I wrote just short of 1200 responses, so I'm not going to read them all right now.  Instead, my response that got the most "thumbs ups" was the one with my MS Paint drawing of someone shooting daggers of unrighteous judgment.

Perhaps a slight adjustment to Bilbo's party speech is appropriate to mark this occasion:

Eleven and a half years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable writers.  I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.  I, uh, I h-have things to do.  I've put this off for far too long.  I regret to announce — this is The End. I am going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell.

-Curious Physics Minor

Question #90575 posted on 11/09/2017 6:44 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I don't know if it's even possible for you to answer this question, but my very first time setting foot on BYU campus was in 5th grade when BYU hosted the state science fair. I've been trying to figure out where the science fair was held, but I don't remember much about it since it was so long ago. I was wondering if you could possibly figure out the answer? It would have been the 2006-07 school year, if that helps. If even settle for knowing where it's held now if you can't figure out where it was held 10 years ago (since it's probably in the same place).

-Not a science major (which is probably why I don't already know the answer)


Dear Major NotAScience,

If the Deseret News is to believed, that was the Central Utah Science and Engineering Fair, which was held for the first time in 2007 when you were in fifth grade. The news article says that the fair was held in the BYU Conference Center, and it appears that the fair is still held there to this day.

-Frère Rubik

Question #90536 posted on 12/29/2017 5:08 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the best answer from every 100 Hour Board writer within the past ten years?

-My Name Here


Dear clone,

Best is incredibly subjective. This is based on the most likes a writer has gotten for any one answer since Jan. 1, 2007. The chart is ordered by number of likes because I think that's the most interesting way to do it.

Foreman 170 Board Question #56893
Appleton 140 Board Question #63538
Uffish Thought 104 Board Question #21534
Gimgimno 100 Board Question #60699
Commander Keen 92 Board Question #62542
Dr. Smeed 89 Board Question #62306
Waldorf and Sauron 79 Board Question #59155
yayfulness 74 Board Question #71939
D.A.R.E. 73 Board Question #62734
Concealocanth 68 Board Question #67964
CATS. 61 Board Question #66183
Concorde 60 Board Question #81552
Mighty Quinn 58 Board Question #71816
Zedability 56 Board Question #71118
Genuine Article 54 Board Question #70269
Anne, Certainly 53 Board Question #78040
Ardilla Feroz 53 Board Question #80643
Curious Physics Minor 52 Board Question #58703
Hypatia 51 Board Question #60332
Katya the Physics Chick 51 Board Question #43429
The Entropy Ninja 51 Board Question #69145
Auto Surf 48 Board Question #83672
Eirene 46 Board Question #65391
Laser Jock 46 Board Question #65391
Owlet 46 Board Question #74780
Phaedrus 45 Board Question #65922
Brutus 44 Board Question #82122
Humble Master 43 Board Question #38559
Paperback Writer 42 Board Question #60699
Queen Alice 41 Board Question #62542
Sheebs 41 Board Question #76110
Sky Bones 41 Board Question #62542
Captain Obvious 40 Board Question #72840
Rating Pending 39 Board Question #67964
Tally M. 39 Board Question #76951
Inverse Insomniac 37 Board Question #82466
Van Goff 37 Board Question #89130
Wallace 37 Board Question #62018
100 Hour Bard 36 Board Question #79917
Dr. Occam 36 Board Question #89072
El-ahrairah 36 Board Question #81710
The Soulful Ginger 36 Board Question #80616
Art Vandelay 35 Board Question #65642
Crowley 35 Board Question #69298
Heidi Book 35 Board Question #84259
Yog in Neverland 35 Board Question #68778
Haleakalā 34 Board Question #82380
M.O.D.A.Q. 34 Board Question #82040
Ms.O'Malley 34 Board Question #82675
Pilgrim 34 Board Question #86449
The Black Sheep 34 Board Question #89379
Claudio 32 Board Question #42295
Cognoscente 32 Board Question #56919
Mico 32 Board Question #60441
Sunday Night Banter 32 Board Question #90087
Alta 31 Board Question #85216
Marguerite St. Just 31 Board Question #67174
Optimus Prime 31 Board Question #71807
Portia of Belmont 31 Board Question #81788
Spectre 31 Board Question #86822
the Goose Girl 31 Board Question #84877
The Messenger 31 Board Question #64090
April Ludgate 30 Board Question #87217
P. D. Kirke 30 Board Question #67921
Polly Esther 30 Board Question #71812
No Dice 29 Board Question #71792
Sherpa Dave 29 Board Question #89616
The Man with a Mustache 29 Board Question #71812
Azriel 28 Board Question #72038
Lexi Khan 28 Board Question #76983
Loki 28 Board Question #59094
Marzipan 28 Board Question #58089
The Detective 28 Board Question #60823
Frère Rubik 27 Board Question #82521
Furious George 27 Board Question #68973
Hobbes 27 Board Question #71902
Hobo 27 Board Question #76245
The Entomophagist 27 Board Question #86949
Vienna 27 Board Question #83688
Ozymandias 26 Board Question #76079
The Bachelorette 26 Board Question #87080
Watts 26 Board Question #72249
Dragon Lady 25 Board Question #77226
Inconveniently Willful 25 Board Question #63379
Niffler 25 Board Question #61787
100 Typing Monkeys 24 Board Question #86447
Democritus 24 Board Question #62771
Eliot Rosewater 24 Board Question #68680
Stego Lily 24 Board Question #77182
The Audience 24 Board Question #74779
Tink 24 Board Question #70513
Whistler 24 Board Question #82082
Adelaide 23 Board Question #85907
Architect of Will 23 Board Question #63439
Maven 23 Board Question #70822
Ace 22 Board Question #75976
Anathema 22 Board Question #89003
glib 22 Board Question #56919
Luciana 22 Board Question #84441
Tao 22 Board Question #44056
Terrible Scientist 22 Board Question #83786
Girl with a Curl 21 Board Question #90126
krebscout 21 Board Question #34094
Squirrel 21 Board Question #78911
The Ghost of Adelaide 21 Board Question #85979
Divya 20 Board Question #75834
Hamilton 20 Board Question #67086
Horatio 20 Board Question #77048
obstreperous 20 Board Question #73002
The Marauders 20 Board Question #77532
Yellow 20 Board Question #72372
Beemer Boy 19 Board Question #77051
Chrysanthemum 19 Board Question #70784
Django Fett 19 Board Question #90128
Kirito 19 Board Question #86834
QED 19 Board Question #82631
Rather Dashing 19 Board Question #89479
songs of inexperience 19 Board Question #34094
The Cleaning Lady 19 Board Question #81856
The Great Deflector 19 Board Question #60504
The Skipper 19 Board Question #87694
the snake whisperer 19 Board Question #66743
Thor 19 Board Question #71792
Being Nice 18 Board Question #68296
Birdy 18 Board Question #61955
Misaneroth 18 Board Question #860
Olympus 18 Board Question #86430
The Bayesian Conspiracy 18 Board Question #67852
The Earl of Limerick 18 Board Question #89372
The Lone Musketeer 18 Board Question #85534
The Word of the Board 18 Board Question #79281
Aprender 17 Board Question #77041
everybody 17 Board Question #86291
Il Guanaco 17 Board Question #77162
Laconic 17 Board Question #46985
Lord Voldemort 17 Board Question #76809
More Questions 17 Board Question #64105
None 17 Board Question #87873
Rocky B 17 Board Question #69003
steen 17 Board Question #61694
The Sentry 17 Board Question #62761
Vienna from the future 17 Board Question #82195
A Caustic Wisecrack 16 Board Question #59973
bittermaid 16 Board Question #71886
Lavish 16 Board Question #77022
Pi 16 Board Question #68681
Rubrinorm 16 Board Question #74972
serendipity 16 Board Question #73488
Shifty Canadian 16 Board Question #84923
Tevye 16 Board Question #84752
Tootles 16 Board Question #72836
fine print 15 Board Question #71792
Hermia 15 Board Question #77048
The Cheeky Chickie 15 Board Question #77014
The Defenestrator 15 Board Question #77063
The Snarky Snicket 15 Board Question #85007
Tristeza 15 Board Question #84793
Blinding White Flash 14 Board Question #64483
Latro 14 Board Question #81871
Meta Knight 14 Board Question #81234
Petra 14 Board Question #71972
Pseudoname 14 Board Question #60443
Shoulder Devil 14 Board Question #60461
TINMAN 14 Board Question #43468
FAIL 13 Board Question #75582
J. Smith 13 Board Question #83730
Jessie's Girl 13 Board Question #75979
Justin 13 Board Question #77008
not yayfulness 13 Board Question #71909
Novel Concept 13 Board Question #77083
Skittles 13 Board Question #76343
Barney Stinson 12 Board Question #83972
Dark Wolf 12 Board Question #66573
Duchess 12 Board Question #71887
habiba 12 Board Question #77083
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of 'Nym. 12 Board Question #76825
S. Holmes 12 Board Question #89340
The Great Irritator 12 Board Question #79463
The sage advice of Madam Insomniac 12 Board Question #79956
branflakes 11 Board Question #81850
Kicks and Giggles 11 Board Question #34094
la bamba 11 Board Question #71958
Librarian 11 Board Question #79812
Optimistic. 11 Board Question #77026
Pa Grape 11 Board Question #71902
The Facts of Life 11 Board Question #89629
The RM 11 Board Question #82113
An Authoritative Source 10 Board Question #89175
Anomalous 10 Board Question #55224
Kevin 10 Board Question #85536
Madame Mimm 10 Board Question #81869
Sam Vimes 10 Board Question #89313
Toasteroven 10 Board Question #71782
alleluia 9 Board Question #34094
Double White Lines 9 Board Question #43821
Hugh of Board 9 Board Question #63765
Jekyll/Hyde 9 Board Question #63379
Krishna 9 Board Question #33152
The Magic Conch Shell 9 Board Question #80351
Vampiress 9 Board Question #71813
Alexander Hamilton 8 Board Question #85767
Anon-o-rama 8 Board Question #89431
Bispo Pedro 8 Board Question #77040
Cassandra 8 Board Question #66942
Cuddlefish 8 Board Question #51154
Just Another Cassio 8 Board Question #71994
Miss Scarlett, in the Conservatory 8 Board Question #54853
Othello 8 Board Question #89275
Random Uselessness 8 Board Question #86608
›Kassidy‹ 7 Board Question #71845
§åû®&#956;$ 7 Board Question #77203
Castle in the Sky 7 Board Question #35284
Dark Chocolate 7 Board Question #41772
Der Berliner 7 Board Question #81920
Die Walkure 7 Board Question #61365
Guybrush Threepwood 7 Board Question #63765
Holbein's Skull 7 Board Question #64382
Ineffable 7 Board Question #71844
Kyle Katarn 7 Board Question #59226
Lenin/McCarthy 7 Board Question #63765
Renegade Platypus 7 Board Question #59371
Saint Seb 7 Board Question #71848
Shawn Spencer 7 Board Question #87586
Sherlock Hemlock 7 Board Question #59580
The Physicist 7 Board Question #79709
A Slap to Quell the Hysteria 6 Board Question #81805
cookie monster 6 Board Question #84213
Guy Fawkes 6 Board Question #32804
Linoleum Blownapart 6 Board Question #49254
Lucky Fortune Words Cookie 6 Board Question #81880
No. 619 6 Board Question #70437
Quandary 6 Board Question #77025
Tangerine 6 Board Question #71844
The Board 6 Board Question #37264
wet blanket 6 Board Question #34541
6-foot Turkey 5 Board Question #60085
Blankie 5 Board Question #81825
Brit Boy 5 Board Question #82113
CATS 5 Board Question #35062
Charles 5 Board Question #85492
Ma Grape 5 Board Question #71915
Matchmaker 5 Board Question #85450
Old Bald Guy 5 Board Question #36818
The Cheat 5 Board Question #77078
Two Lies & a Truth 5 Board Question #71886
Washington Irving 5 Board Question #37225
Wet Biscut McGlee 5 Board Question #59124

 --Django Fett