"It's not about knowing everything, it's about knowing where to find everything." - Curious Physics Minor
Question #92558 posted on 08/20/2019 12:30 a.m.
Q:

Dear Writers

How do you handle romantic entanglements when you're about to move, especially when there isn't anything clear between the two of you? There's a guy I'm interested in, and we've been on a few dates and hung out a lot. I like him a lot and would be interested in a pursuing a relationship with him, but I'm moving out-of-state in a few weeks. I have no idea how he feels about me. What do I do? Is it worth it to try to ask him out again or tell him how I feel if I'm going to be gone soon?

- Red Herring

A:

Dear Communist Fish,

So like first of all, bonus points for using the phrase “romantic entanglement”. Serious props on the vocab.

Okay, so the whole moving out of state thing is a little less than ideal. But I think you can totally still make it work. It’s obviously not as fun as being in the same place as them, but I think that there actually some legit benefits to the whole thing. For example:

  • Use it as an excuse to achieve clarity: This is a great way to bring up the “what are we” conversation. You have a legit reason to ask them, “Hey, do you see this going anywhere? Cause I’m about to peace.” I sometimes get nervous about bringing things up so I like having a built-in excuse to do so. Also, if it works you can totally date. Pursue A relationship and really enjoy the last few weeks of summer. If not...
  • You can make a graceful exit: I think one of the hardest things about a break up/someone you like rejecting you is having to see them again, pass by the spots you used to hang out, drive past their apartment, etc. If you’re moving out of state and this doesn’t work you totally get to peace out and move to a different place. It’s an instant fresh start. The only way to make a fresher start would be to do that and cut or dye your hair. Which you could totally do.
  • Long distance can help pace things: So my first relationship was semi-long distance for like 2 months right at the beginning and it was actually super nice. I only saw them every two weeks so I had time to plan dates, I didn’t have to worry about spending too much/too little time with them, and it gave me a little bit of space to try figuring out being in a relationship for the first time. It was actually pretty nice.

So I say you go for it! Talk to him! Communication! I know this is like the same cliché advice The 100 Hour Board has given forever, but I just started dating someone and she is so open with communication it makes everything 5000 times easier. (Side note: she is a couples therapist so it’s kind of cheating. But I highly recommend dating a couples therapist). 

Talking is scary, but honestly so is the lack of clarity. Putting your feelings out there is hard but it could be totally worth it. If it doesn’t work out I’m sorry. I’ll bake you cookies or something. Hope this helps!

Peace,

Tipperary

A:

Dear Red Fish,

I agree with all of the writers that answered, but I'm a lot more hesitant when it comes to long distance relationships. What came to my mind first was, "How long will you be out of state. Is it permanent, or only for a month or two?" 

I've been in three long distance relationships, and they really didn't work out. The main reason being was that I didn't have a solid foundation when it came to these relationships. I find that a solid foundation and trust are two big factors into making it work. (Plus being willing to visit each other every now and then if your move is permanent.) If you think you have a good enough solid foundation, I echo everyone else in telling him how you feel. It's better than leaving yourself with "What if?" in your mind. 

-Goldie Rose

A:

Red Herring,

Keep in touch? I don't know how long you'll be gone, or how far away. But at the very least, keep in touch. Maybe the timing is right some other time, or maybe you decide you like each other that much. Whether you want to tell him how you feel is up to you, and whether you feel that's necessary. Whatever you do keep two things in mind:

1) what is the result I want from my next action?

2) anything could happen

Stay intentional, and stay happy. 

Babalugats

A:

Dear Cast the Net, 

You have been blessed with the beautiful gift of moving, my dear. If you can muster the courage to tell him how you feel, you get the best options no matter what he says. If he likes you back, you can try to work something out. If not, you get to just move and not have to worry about seeing him around. Or, it could be short term, and you'll get to stay in the fun stages of dating before calling it off. It really might be the ideal situation. 

Anyway, I think it's always totally worth it to be honest. If more people were just straightforward about their feelings, we'd save ourselves so much heartache. Plus, you never know where something will lead — it could work out very well for you. Regardless, you will always learn something from these kinds of experiences, so notwithstanding the outcome, you will be glad that you were true to yourself and your emotions. 

Cheers, 

Guesthouse


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Monday, August 19, 2019
Sunday, August 18, 2019
Posted on 08/18/2019 8:33 p.m. New Correction on: #92529 I'm training for a 100-mile bike ride in September, and I need ideas of some good ...
Question #92554 posted on 08/18/2019 5:42 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the fonts that are used in the Family Proclamation?

Thanks,
-Ms. Potts

A:

Dear Pepper, 

From a couple of sources it seems like the Church technically has its own official font, called HTF Deseret. That's what they use for the logo. However, it looks pretty much identical to Trajan. They also use Palatino in a lot of their publications, and that's what I think it is for the body text.  

Cheers,

Guesthouse


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Question #92552 posted on 08/18/2019 9:15 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I just got a car and I know absolutely nothing about basic car care and maintenance like how to check the oil, tire pressure, etc. I did do some research on my own, sure enough I get tips on this. Although they are quite comprehensive, normally they are pretty general maintenance tips (like this one: ). I'd like to know the how-to process as well. Do you know any good books that can teach me and do you know any tips yourself?.

-Roy

A:

Roy,

This website gives a few recommendations of basic car repair books. I took a look at some reviews, and it seems like Auto Upkeep: Basic Car Care, Maintenance, and Repair by Michael E. Gray and Linda E. Gray might be a good place to start. From what I saw, it's used as a textbook in some introductory auto classes, so it should give you a good baseline without being too condescending. 

For basic questions, Car Care Kiosk has been really helpful for me. You put in your car's make, model, and year and then choose what you need to do. It gives step by step instructions with a separate short video for each step. It's really helpful, as you can re-watch the specific video you need to see again instead of skipping back and forth in the same video. As you get more advanced and want to start looking into more technical procedures, Chilton is a very respected name in car care. They're pretty much the encyclopedia for car repair. They used to print huge manuals for each make and model of car with detailed instructions, but now they've mostly moved online. If you have a BYU login, you can also access the Auto Repair Reference Center database, which is also very detailed.

My main advice is to at least know how to check your oil, your coolant, your tire pressure, and be able to change a tire. In my opinion, those are the absolute basic skills every car owner should have before they get out on the road. There's also a lot of other things that are a little below surface-level car knowledge but are actually really really easy. These include: changing your windshield wipers, replacing burnt out headlights, replacing your engine air filter, and replacing your battery. I don't actually know how to change the oil in my car, but I've been told it isn't too hard. I'm sure there are more really simple upkeep things that you can do, but this is what I've figured out so far. 

Good luck!

-Quixotic Kid


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Question #92551 posted on 08/18/2019 9:15 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I saw a post online where a university had a cat that lived in the library and had its own library card. There was also a Facebook page that students could post pictures if they spotted said cat around the library. What's the likelihood of that happening at BYU? If it happened, how would the students and faculty react? We could name him Cosmo the Cat!

-All For It

A:

Dear Cat Lover,

I heard about Pep too! I didn't know about the MTC cat mentioned below  I feel very gypped as I was there six years ago and never saw it! (Sheesh, showing my age why don't I?)  Oh well, it was only ten days in the winter... 

I don't know the likelihood of it, especially since BYU petitions can be a hit or miss depending on the topic. But I think having a cat would be so wholesome and a good stress reliever. As long as it's litter trained, they could have volunteers take care of Cosmo. They added a study room that's good for kids, why can't they add a cat room with Cosmo? 

In all honesty, what's preventing any of us bringing a kitten to the library and bribing it with food and water to have it stay in the library? Think about it... The faculty wouldn't kick out a poor lil thing, that'd be just heartless!

-Goldie Rose

A:

Dear I'll "For" It,

There's already a cat at the MTC, and the missionaries seem to love it. The cat just chills outside the cafeteria and brings comfort to the cat-loving missionaries. The MTC seems pretty chill with it, so there is hope!

-Inklings

P.S. sorry no pictures

A:

Dear All,

Personally, I'm down. I don't think BYU would ever actually do it, though. It seems like a thing that would be more likely to happen at a smaller university, where there isn't an entire committee that would have to make the decision. I think that I would also be a little bit worried about the cat getting shut into a weird part of the library on accident and then being trapped somewhere. That probably wouldn't even happen, but it's possible.

-Quixotic Kid

A:

Dear Allie,

This isn't quite the same, but there are several very nice plants all over the library. They bring life and joy to the HBLL, much like a cat would, I imagine. I highly recommend finding a study spot near one :)

Sincerely,

Cerulean


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