When you help someone up a hill, you get that much closer to the top yourself. -Anonymous
Aspiring techie. Most at home when surrounded by computer monitors. Also a chronic writer, reader, gamer, and perambulator. If you like something I've written, or you thought it was funny, or perhaps you're righteously incensed at my tomfoolery and looking to make sure I know it, you can now find me at nines@theboard.byu.edu.
I have an inordinate love of indie music, travelling, and dumb jokes. Every once in a while I think about changing this blurb, but then I realize that a truer description of myself has never been written. Email me at alta(at)theboard.byu.edu.
If you're looking for an authoritative source, you've found one.
Hi there! Welcome to my bio! I'm just your friendly neighborhood professional descendent and witch (and if you don't get that reference, try cracking open "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett). Feel free to email me about math, yoga, podcast recommendations, or really just about anything at anathema@byu.edu.
...I don't care enough to type anymor
Small. Fast. Ferocious. Shoot me an e-pigeon at ardilla.feroz@theboard.byu.edu, because everyone needs a couple more e-birds in their lives. Except I am actually the sworn enemy of pigeons, so then again... maybe not. Life goal: I want to find and implement better ways to reduce food waste and take better care of rainforests.
mostly incoherent, will take a good bet, will sing you a spiritual or two, cannot eat fifty eggs.
Morbid sense of humor. Llama that wears a little hat. Husband to the delightful Goldie Rose.
People watcher. Sweet tooth. Feminist.
Just here to master the web.
A stylish stand-up comedian and jazz enthusiast. Wocka Wocka? Email me at fozzie@theboard.byu.edu
"You're a good guy, mon frère. That means 'brother' in French. I don't know why I know that; I took four years of Spanish!" -G.O.B., Arrested Development

That pretty much sums up the 'nym.


Frère Rubik is a writer from Utah who has not been as active on the Board as he would like recently. He's keeping the reference to the joke about liking long walks along the Provo Beach Resort, because it becomes increasingly more obscure every time he re-writes his bio. He has strong opinions about people who try to make their own right-turn lanes when he is turning left and block his vision of the road, making things unsafe and Mad Max-ian. He is an amateur pizza chef, and is always frustrated with his crust before it goes in the oven (and usually fine with it when it comes out). He holds the distinction of being the only Board writer to have married Vienna, and he successfully defeated Chris Pratt in a taco eating contest to do so (true story). On this most recent version of his bio, he took out the hammer joke and added a single apostrophe, plus this sentence explaining what he did. He thinks that eventually this bio will become so overwhelmingly self-referential that it will collapse into itself and become the first 100 Hour Board singularity.


Further questions, comments, and conversations are welcomed at frere(DOT)rubik@theboard(DOT)byu(DOT)edu
Just think of me as the Bachelorette's helper in her quest for love.
Had an encounter with the three bears. Except I don't like porridge. Just kidding wrong story! Let me talk about Carl, Carl Jr., being a Mom, or genealogy and I'll talk your ear off. I'm not just a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. My email is Goldie.Rose@theboard.byu.edu
willing cinnamon roll addict. Enjoys true crime stories, a good discussion, Coldplay, and sociology. You can contact me at guesthouse@theboard.byu.edu. I'd love to hear from you!
Avid follower of tangents. Feel free to reach out at inklings(at)theboard.byu.edu
I'm not a robot, but I'm not a girl either. I'm simply an anthropomorphized vessel of knowledge built to make your life easier *wink*
Trying my best. I get unreasonably excited about rockets and robots. Email me at josefina@theboard.byu.edu :)
Busy living the cast member life. Email me at luciana@theboard.byu.edu.
A kind and loveable bear who cares about refugees and prison reform
Ask me about my workout routine, my hair products, and my sweet pickup lines
From Merriam-Webster: "foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially : marked by rash lofty romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous action." I like books, vidya games, music, rocks, and plants. You can email me at quixotic.kid(at)theboard.byu.edu.
I'm just trying to understand people and the world around me, sometimes I think I do a pretty good job. I'm good at crying, music, and Twitter. If you actually read my new bio email me for your prize: sherpa.dave@theboard.byu.edu
It sounds mysterious....it's really not. I like computers, nerdy things, bowling, music. Email me at spectre(at)theboard.byu.edu
Those who say that nothing can be done are the same ones who do nothing.
Banter is my middle name...well I guess it's the last part of my 'nym....you know what I mean.
Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover
Looking for love. thebachelorette@theboard.byu.edu
In hopes that you're all not averse
to poetry, witty and terse,
the answers you seek
to your questions each week
have taken a turn for the verse.
A group of explorers guaranteed to answer your exploratory questions (limited to Utah County unless you want us to explore someplace really awesome). The current Marauders are Prickles and Foxtail. Ask us a question about places to check out! Questions about what we're doing? Contact us at theboardmarauders@theboard.byu.edu
Has a Taylor Swift song for every occasion. Also likes sports, science, cooking, ridiculous hypotheticals, and commas. Email me at tipperary@theboard.byu.edu
Facts*. True facts*. Real facts*. Totally just the facts*. Ignore the asterices please.
When I eat spicy food I turn into a car. I'm the writer formerly known as Sherpa Dave, you can still email me at sherpa.dave@theboard.byu.edu