Although the tongue weighs very little, very few people are able to hold it. -Anonymous
Question #45225 posted on 05/26/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

have you heard of the "v-chip", national ID card, and the 'amero"? It's quite interesting and I would love your opinions on the one world government conspiracy. I say bring it on. For instance, I don't care who the president is as long as they're really then the coming of Christ comes sooner:) We should all pray that the world gets more wicked so the righteous can prosper and the earth cleansed from this horrible state.

I typed this entire message with my left hand because only because i'm eating an apple and I did not want to put it down to type because i hate when it gets brown and mushy....yes, it's impressed.

- tom

A: Dear tom,

I've heard that we should work hard to bring about things we pray for. In accordance with this prophetic counsel, I will not only pray with you that the world become more wicked, but also sin more myself, all for the noble cause of hastening the Second Coming.

But that wasn't your question. You asked if I've heard of the v-chip, national ID card, and "amero," to which my answer is yes. And even though you didn't ask, I'll comment on these.

Regarding the v-chip, if the government wants to use a device intended for parental controls tospy on the TV I watch (or, more realistically, don't watch), well, it's not like our government hasn't wasted time and money on a lot of other useless things before.

On the other hand, I support a national ID card. Far from being a cabalistic measure to transform our society into a sci-fi dystopia, a standardized ID system is just going to simplify the messy system used in the status quo. ID cards are a part of life already--you need them to make a withdrawal, drive a car, or get a job. A standardized national ID could actually cut away a lot of the paperwork required by having separate driver's license, passport, social security number, etc. I'm not going to complain about having more room in my wallet for green stuff.

Finally, the "amero" is a ridiculous idea. Just because the euro is watching the dollar writhe in pain from its box seats across the Atlantic does not mean that Canada, Mexico, and the U.S. should come up with their own copycat version. The "amero" would not work as well as the euro because while Europe's economy is balanced among the several countries, the U.S. economy would almost solely dictate the value of the "amero," benefiting Canada and Mexico, and Americans just aren't that generous.

So having typed all that, my final verdict is:
left-handed typing isn't very hard at all, or even that slow, and I do believe I typed even more characters one-handed than you did.

A: Dear tom,

Please read Amos 5:18. After having read it, if you still want to hasten the dreadful day of the Lord, I would suggest helping to establish Zion and preparing it to receive its King.

As for your conspiracy theories, I agree that we should be worried about unconstitutional invasions into the lives of private citizens.

But when it comes to the v-chip, the tragedy is only that almost no one actually uses it. Domestic spying aside, the v-chip is a free parental controls device found in modern televisions, but very few parents know it exists, let alone how to use it. The government's advertising campaign to inform the public about the v-chip may have failed dramatically, but, really, if they wanted to use it to spy on us don't you think they would have kept the v-chip a secret rather than spending millions to publicize it?

More troubling is the national ID card. I'm less worried about the privacy issue than identity theft. If we consolidate all my legal rights onto one little rectangle, it will have become very easy to steal everything you need to make my life miserable.

The "amero," however, is a great idea. Our economy is already locked to those of Canada and Mexico by geography and NAFTA, and we will only become more intertwined with Latin America as immigrants keep coming in (and sending money orders back home.) In fact the dollar is already the de facto currency in much of the Caribbean and Central America, so why not make it official with a good answer to the euro?

I hate to be argumentative all the time, so I will conclude by agreeing with you: brown and mushy apple is indeed disgusting.