"My flabber was completely gasted." - Rating Pending
Question #48342 posted on 11/03/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If the next president's identity was kept secret from the world for his entire term, would you be able to tell who must have won the election by observing how your own life was going over the next four years? If you answered yes, please explain by completing the following two sentences:
Obama must be the president, because __________ wouldn't be happening in my life if McCain had won.
McCain must be the president, because __________ wouldn't be happening in my life if Obama had won.


- owner of one vote

A:

Dear owner,

I think I would be able to tell, but it is hard to tell how I would know before the fact. The candidates' platforms are warm and fuzzy statements about what they would do if their administration functions perfectly with little or no resistance from Congress, and no one does exactly what they have promised their constituents that they will do. Many times they end up doing just the opposite. This is why such statements are easier to make retroactively, such as:

Bush must have been elected in 2000, because my cousin wouldn't have been sent to fight a war in Iraq if Gore had won.

However, knowing what we do about the candidates and about the conditions each will face in Washington should they be elected, I think the following two statements are fair:

Obama must be president, because, as a less-wealthy American, a large tax cut wouldn't be happening in my life if McCain had won.

McCain must be president, because so much time spent frustratedly listening to Wolf Blitzer yabber about the endless arguing between the president and Congress wouldn't be happening in my life if Obama had won.

- The Black Sheep

A: Dear voter-

Obama must be the president, because the media's overly inflated hopes and dreams wouldn't be crashing down around my ears if McCain had won.

McCain must be the president, because so many vitriolic epithets wouldn't be flying 24/7 if Obama had won.

-Foreman
A: McCain must be the president because pigs wouldn't be flying if Obama had won.

Just sayin'.

-Waldorf and Sauron