Although the tongue weighs very little, very few people are able to hold it. -Anonymous
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Will my girlfriend wait for me on my mission?

-Clueless Missionary to be?

A:

Dear Clueless,

For this question I consulted an expert. Our exchange went something like this:

Me: Will what's-his-face's girlfriend wait for him on his mission? (shakeshakeshake)

Expert: Cannot predict now

Me (shrugging): Hmmm. I'll ask again. (shakeshakeshake)

Expert: Outlook not so good

Me: That doesn't sound good. Maybe I should shake it a little longer. (shakeshakeshakeshakeshakeshakeshake)

Expert: Very doubtful

Me: What if I shake it harder?! SHAKESHAKESHAKESHAKESHAKE

Expert: My sources say no

Well, I think the results of my inquiry are clear. As you can see, leading experts agree that the chances of your girlfriend essentially wasting two years of her life so you can hook up post-mission only to realize you've grown apart, are remarkably slim at best.

-Genuine Article

A:

Dear Obviously-

Heh. Heh heh ha... ha ha. HA HA HA HAAAAA!

Of course she will, buddy.

-Foreman

A:

Dear Umm...really?

Why would you want her to?

The kind of girl you want could change in two years. Or not. But isn't it nice to know that you have options?

-Marguerite St. Just

A:

Dear absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt clueless,

Ha. Hahaha. Hahahahaha. BAHAHAHAHAHA!

I know Foreman already did that, but I guess it's genetic.

Anyhow. Just kidding man. She'll wait for you...to leave. So that others can make their move.

- Commander Keen

A:

Dear clueless,

Okay, because you really are clueless, I'm writing a real response.

You don't wanna do that man. Just trust me. Of course, I read the same thing before my mission and thought, "Nah, I'll just go for it!" Hahahaha. Oh man. If you choose to be schooled by experience, my prayers are with you, buddy.

- CK